Jury Duty

Jury Duty

This Zimmerman case got me thinking about what it takes to get picked to be on a jury in a court case. To be frank, I think that the places that I post on the internet alone would preclude me from serving on a jury that has a half way decent lawyer choosing from the pool of jury members I'm in.

I mean, I would want to hang that jury like a mother fucker, and you know I'll do my hardest to bullshit my way in and say something like "Nope, I dun kno nutin aboot this case", but then decide how I felt using my socialist websites to get the evidence from. Because, you know, that's how I roll.

Oh, what's that? You want me to swear an oath to god? Okay, but you won't like what me and my god think about your oath..

To be perfectly honest, the best way to avoid being picked for a jury is to demonstrate that you are a sentient being. No one like me would ever get picked for a jury, to be honest. But that's because everyone like me is under 40 and if I had to guess, probably not fat and white. I've had jury duty before and I dressed up all nice and what not with a new haircut and everything and because I wanted to hang the jury so bad. But in the end I got dismissed and they decided to go with an all 40 year old and older majority white jury. It wasn't much of a shocker. But hey, I guess the lesson was learned there.

Whenever I do want to get out of jury duty I just tell them that I have no faith in the justice system because I was fucked over by the system on a fix-it ticket that turned into a warrant for my arrest because of a failure to appear situation. But considering that the missed court date was on account of another cop giving me an updated ticket with the wrong court and day to go, I didn't even realize I had missed the court date. So why should I have any trust or faith in a system that's going to do all that to you for something so incredibly minor and stupid, and yet they were all like "Well, we appreciate your honesty at least" and that's when they excused me from my civic duty of deciding the fate of some poor victim of the system.