Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Obama Vs. Romney - Let The Fight Begin!

Obama Vs. Romney - Let The Fight Begin!

So now that frothy ass juice and cum has dropped out of the race, not to take away anything away from Ron Paul and Newt, but it seems that it's very clearly going to be a battle between Obama and Romney come November.

And by battle I mean a clean sweep. Because, really. This isn't a fight. It's like seeing a fan favorite wrestler fight some no name dude. You know the deck is stacked against him and Obama can't possibly lose this bitch.

But even with the victory pretty much in the bag with mr. awful at economics President, Obama did something that confused me. He released a terrible ad the other day, pointing out that Romney's accusation that he is, in fact, not a foaming-at-the-mouth fascist.. and this shit is slanderous none sense!

All I took away from that ad is this:
"Nobel Peace Prize winner Barack H. Obama might not be a complete fucking asshole," said mitt romney

"that's not true. i am a complete asshole" responded Nobel Peace Prize winner Barack H. Obama
But hey, it's cool that Obama has cut out the pretense and is now campaigning directly to the republican base. I mean, you can't really be too surprised by it. You know, those folks who otherwise you know as Americans.. you know, those who will be first against the wall.

Anyhow, the media is doing its darnedest to make Mitt look like, you know.. a Human We swear, he's human!

In a new campaign video, Mitt Romney's wife Ann regales the American people with heartwarming tales of what a fun-loving scamp the Presidential hopeful can be when he's roughhousing with their kids. In fact, she sighs, sometimes having Mittens around the house was a lot like having an extra kid. Inflating her mom credentials would make sense as a strategy if Ann Romney were running for America's Mommy-In-Chief, but since her husband is running for one of the most powerful positions in the world, perhaps rebranding him as a Steinbeckian ManBoy isn't the most politically salient idea.

I have to say, "Mitt Romney is like a son to his wife" sure doesn't sound creepy as shit at all.. I mean, I swear, it sounds totally normal...

Or maybe we should respect Romney for putting Kink in the public sphere in a rational and open way. If that's what he and his wife are into, it's not good to, you know, Kinkshame them or anything.
And the pranks — oh, the pranks! Mitt would wrestle and roughhouse and sling balls hither and tither. And there Ann would be, standing in an apron on the front stoop, crossing her arms and reminding herself that soon, five of her six children would grow up and leave the house, leaving her with her permanent child. Her forever-child. The one she married.
Damn girl. Why you gotta be so mean?

I know this may sound a bit off topic, but most of the fluff pieces I've read on Ann Romney really focus on her being maternal. Like the story about her making Mitt's favorite meatloaf or how he is her child and so on and such on and so forth. Opposed to how Michelle Obama was portrayed as a business woman and what not. Just thought I would point that out.

Anyhow, the big picture to focus on that is that Mitt likes Meatloaf. Yes, clearly he's a normal person like you and me. Why yes, I would do anything for America, but I won't do that.. No sir. Not meatloaf.

Man, I have to admit, that's the recipe he likes? Surprise Surprise. It's literally the most boring meatloaf recipe you probably will ever see. Not even the creativity to do like the 70/30 beef/pork mix or go really wild and throw down with some lamb. Let us not mention the sauce.

Weak sauce, indeed. Her pinterest also apparently lists recipes for red white and blue cupcakes and red white and blue punch. My god, their taste are pretty damn dull at the Romney table. But it's pretty clear that they're trying to frame her as an All-American Mom. And all of the buzzing you hear is a million different dog whistles going off and subtly nodding to a policy position Mitt is trying to sell himself on.

Because really, do people in the waste lands of America really put crumbled up potato chips on their tuna casserole? Do they actually make Tuna casserole itself? That seems like something either a 5 year old left home alone for a week and on the verge of starvation or someone who's completely given up on life would put together.

But anyhow, now that the Republican slobber knocker is done, Mitt Romney can begin to show that he cares about women...
(CNN) - Mitt Romney, eager to close the persistent gender gap opening up between himself and President Nobel Peace Prize Winner Barack H. Obama, has begun using an eyebrow-raising statistic on the campaign trail. "Did you know that of all the jobs lost during the Obama years, 92.3% are women? During the Obama years. Women have suffered." Romney told a crowd Tuesday in Pennsylvania.

He made the claim again Wednesday in an interview on Fox News, saying "Over 92% of the jobs lost under his president were lost by women. His polices have been really a war on women."
Women of the United States, I care about you. My mother was a woman. - Willard Romney

My god, I've never seen a more transparent politician. I've seen better actors on Sci-fi original movies.

But the thing that makes me the angriest about all this is how one of the things these two idiots, both Obama and Romney, will argue about will be who cares about women more. But then neither actually, you know, does anything about it... Or even mean what they say.

We're literally living in a country where paying women equally as men is a controversial issue that isn't worth touching.

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