The Future - Well, Fuck That Shit..

The Future - Well, Fuck That Shit..

It was just a couple of weeks ago that I finally joined the 21st century and got myself a smart phone and just when I thought I was caught up with the rest of society, google has to go out and make a fucking Smart phone glasses thing.



Well FUCK! I already have enough trouble ignoring every phone call and email I get. If this is the future, it's fucking hell. Those glasses are like "They Live":, only taken to its extreme opposite conclusion.

It's like a propaganda piece to push the killing of hipsters. No thanks. I'd rather not have this. Then again, considering that viewing the video made the flash on chrome crash, I shouldn't worry that this future will come to pass any time soon.

But still, advanced technology indistinguishable from sorcery from a generation ago shouldn't shock me that it's going to be used primarily to make idle bourgeois lives of consumption more efficiently. Though I'll be surprised if anyone will be able to afford that when it's out. Unless, you know, it'll probably sell for $250 with a 2 year wireless contract.

But again, this device looks literally hellish. Why yes, glasses, show me directions to twenty feet from where I am standing in this tiny bookstore. What the fucker in the video should have done was open a window for "How to pronounce french", you rich dumb fuck!

It's not like you can't already do most of that, the only difference is having to hold your phone in front of you instead of wearing glasses. They're also banking on the current trend of manufacturing process shrinkage to continue indefinitely and, welp, researchers came out today saying that for flash they reach a critical failure point in read/write errors at around 6.5nm which is supposed to happen around 2024, assuming Obamacare hasn't annihilated the planet by then.

"john is: starving in a ditch, 402 ft, turn left at the next intersection"

And can I talk for a minute about the dude checking in? Yeah man, hold on a second, guy. I gotta check in my four square location at this fucking food truck..

This Shitstain just checked in at A Fucking Food Truck, Are You Serious!? with Foursquare!

Man, if this is what the future is, then it's filled with such big pussies.

"Uh oh, Jessica's calling! Music off computer!"

Ha. Does that actually mean he was listening to that lame ass elevator music the entire time he was meeting up with his nondescript hipster friend? God, he's such a pussy.

Note added: You're such a pussy.

Not to mention the whole "That a Ukulele?" God, I want to kill Jessica. Let's be real with what the future holds for our enslaved selves 10 years into the future;

Hyosho tweeted: Mined 16 tons of He3 today! I can almost taste that new hairstyle for my avatar! #norealtastebuds

Not to mention that I can't wait to glance at a QR code on an advertisement poster and then get blinded by pop-up ads











I think if google really wants to get the most out of these interactive glasses, they shouldn't just display messages to the wearer. Sure, I want to see literally where my friends are at all times and their absolute distance from me in relation to feet, meters and spans (Wheel of time fans out there?) But I think it would also be neat if Pizza Hut could pay me thirty cents an hour to have my glasses display glaringly bright images of their greasy slop to everyone who interacts with me. Who says these suckers only have to send information one way?

I'll tell you who. fascists

I got a lot of shit for not having a smartphone for ages until just a few weeks ago. I sure as shit can't wait till people think I'm a loser because I don't want to have advertisement in my retinas 24/7 and I'll just stick with my outdated iPhone. Though, if they made a model with transitions lenses I may have to reconsider. There's no way I can pass up simultaneously look like a total poindexter and a serial killer at once.

Then again, it's going to be bad when you're stuck clearing your parents' glasses of 14 toolbars before they walk into the path of a bus. "No dear, I need that recipe widget. Where can I find it?"

In short, fuck the future.