Coking It Up Kosher Style

Coking It Up Kosher Style

We're in the passover season and there's something wrong. Something missing... Yes, in fact the last time I was at the local Pico Ralph's in the Jewish side of town, I noticed that something was missing. Indeed, Kosher Coke is not out there.

Kosher for Passover Coca-Cola has been barred from California.

California’s new state laws on toxic chemicals are keeping kosher for Passover Coke out of the state, a company spokesman told the San Gabriel Valley Tribune.

Coke was required to change the way it manufactures caramel due to the high levels of the chemical 4-methylimidazole, or 4-MEI, which California has listed as a carcinogen under its new guidelines. The manufacturing changes in California affected the kosher for Passover status of the cola, according to reports.

The company expects to offer the kosher for Passover variety of Coke in California by 2013, the newspaper reported, citing the company spokesman.

The Passover version of Coke uses sugar in place of corn syrup, which is not kosher for Passover for Ashkenazi Jews.

Some kosher stores in California carried limited amounts of kosher for Passover Coke, which bears a yellow cap, that was imported from other states.

What. The. Fuck!? This one hit close to home when I was in the market looking for some Kosher Coke. And it's not that I'm actually a practicing Jew. In fact, I have no Jewishness in me. I have none of that blood in me and the closes thing that I can get to in terms of being Jewish is that I'm Jewish on job applications.

But even though I don't have any Jew in me doesn't mean that I don't like to keep kosher. Who doesn't want some kosher salt? But anyhow, I love me Kosher coke because of one thing - the pure cane sugar that is used in it.

But yeah, you could normally find this in any place that sold kosher shit for them Jew folks and I couldn't find any.. FUCK THAT! Cancer causing shit. What the fuck is this shit. My non-existent people didn't survive in the desert for 40 years to put up with this bullshit.

You mean to tell me that the oil lasted for eight goddamn days but we can't get some mother fuckin' Kosher Coke all up in this bitch? Come on now! This is such bullshit!

LET MY PEOPLE* ENJOY SOME COKE!



*not really MY people