Sunday, July 25, 2010

Why I Hyte Ayn Rand

Why I Hyte Ayn Rand

I have been giving the writer of Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand, a lot of shit lately. It's not for unknown reasons. I think she's about the absolute worst. I mean, shit. We based our entire socio-economic policy off this bitch. I love how she says altruism is evil, and then goes on to completely redefine altruism in terms of hypothetical situations of things no one has ever done or would ever do.

If you have a little bit of time to kill, I implore you to see this Ayn Rand interview on Donahue. Yes, Donahue. Clearly she's reaching the peak of all talk show host of the day by picking a day time talk shot to make her first public appearance since the death of her husband and three years before she died.

And then she goes on and on about "would you kindly harvest these corpses and modify your DNA, etc." and then Donahue punches her across the room with his drill arm. I kind of wish Ayn Rand were still alive so that I could punch her as hard as I could and then rob her, and every time she tried to get back up I would just keep kicking her legs out from under her and I'd just be like "Rational self-interest: I HATE CUNTS!"

How anyone makes it through any one of her books is a test of fortitude. They are impossible to read. Though if you're really an Ayn Rand follower, I guess you could have one of your staffers read it for you and give you the gist, I guess.

Her whole writing process is absurd. Gee, I wonder - how should I structure my characterization. How about I introduce 5 characters that believe everything I believe in and are always right and are just constantly showing up a bunch of strawmen who always lose and who's arguments make no sense.

Fountainhead was so bad with building strawman arguments. As soon as you meet Roark, you know he's going to be right about everything and win all the time, and that Keating is going to suck and lose at everything. If you're reading an Ayn Rand book, just remember the key is to see them use excessive tokenism to demonstrate that smart people of all walks of life are on your side.

Atlas Shrugged should be mandatory reading in high schools next to One flew over the cuckoos nest, the crucible, hamlet and slaughterhouse-five. Kids will never read a book with more than 300 pages again. Though we already have Moby Dick to teach kids to hate books.

What's worse? John Galt's 100 page speech, or all of the Of Whaling chapters in Moby Dick? Your feedback is needed here. Perhaps all copies of Atlas Shrugged should be burned and replaced on the curriculum with something less damaging to children's minds, such as Hustler Magazines laced with LSD.

I know it sounds strange and odd coming from me, considering how much I write, but FUCK, has Ayn Rand ever written just one sentence? She might as well, because everything she writes is the exact same thing. I don't even see how Jolie and Pitt can be fans of Rand's works, since they pretty much do the exact opposite of what Rand prescribes.

-Frank O'Connor

I recently saw a friend for the first time in, like a year, who had since read every single Ayn Rand book. She thinks the recession occurred because there was too much regulation. I then called Somalia a libertarian paradise and she got really annoyed at that idea. She also made it clear that she would rather have Americas privatized insurance than pay $50 a month for socialized health insurance like they do in Canada.

When it gets to that point, it's pretty much impossible to get them out of that mindset. They're pretty much lost forever. Sacks of empty, soulless husk of skin. So I'm glad to see whenever someone does brave through those god awful books and they don't take the political view point of hers seriously. Sort of like L. Ron and Scientology. You can enjoy the science fiction aspect, but by god, don't embrace the religious aspect.

If you find yourself agreeing with any of Rand's "philosophies", please jump off a building because you're too stupid to live. How else can you boil it down to anyone on this one. Just look at the mentality here -
"Fuck you, got mine." - Ayn Rand
Even worse. Ayn Rand said "Charlie's Angels is high art"


byafi said...

Too funny!! Thanks!

Anonymous said...


Mumu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mumu said...

Hey, I just finished a long article about the girl & quoted you twice, I hope you take a look at it & forgive my bad English :)

Ayn Rand: An Average Savage Like the Rest of Us

BrainOrb said...

You mean Somalia? Really? Africa's Somalia? The one that had a communist regime for decades is a libertarian paradise? The Marxist–Leninist single-party state Somalia?

If you talk about things that you didn't have patience to read you end up saying stupid things. That's why your friend was annoyed. She didn't know how to say that you're stupid despite liking you.

At least this is very short, you should read at least the first paragraph.