Friday, July 20, 2018



I mean, did I really have to break that shocking news to you? Clearly not. But during this Comic Con weekend, I figure that while I'm nerding it up with a fuck ton of other sweaty, crop dusting mother fuckers in the San Diego heat, I would leave you a little piece that was very strange to me, even knowing full well that 60's Batman was just one strange fucker. May he rest in peace... cause who the fuck gets kicked out of an orgy with the Riddler?
What’s your favorite memory of Frank Gorshin? He defined that role so well.

Well, I think one of my favorite memories is that Frank and I were invited to a party one night and we decided to go, a Hollywood party we didn’t know anything about. We were kind of laughing and having a few beers and said, "Let’s go over there." We walked in ... and it was an orgy. So I immediately went into the Batman character, and Frank went into the Riddler character, because we were getting the big giggles. It was so funny to us, what we walked into. And we were kicked out. We were expelled from the orgy.
Yup, Hollywood is a strange strange place. I mean, it probably was a given that Batman's utility belt had Bat-condomes. What else would you use a utility belt for? Then again, it was the 60's, who the fuck used condoms back in the 60's?

Just think, when the vibrator died during those orgies and Batman turned to Robin to fetch him some Batteries, do you think Robin would just stare at him and ask him what a "Teries" is? Okay, that was fairly dumb. I'll admit to that, but come on, this article is about Batman getting it on in orgies and then getting kicked out.

Part of me just wants to assume that they made the bit up about being thrown out so they don't look like assholes in an article and come off as gentlemen when in reality they probably pounded ass all night. On top of that. if you go over the character a bit more.... Bruce Wayne is a billionaire who dresses as a Bat to beat up people. I mean, if you think about it for less than a second, it makes perfect sense that Batman would be in to some strange sex shit. It's just West trying to keep in character if you want to see it that way.

The Batman craze int he swinging 60's just seemed like something you had to see to believe. Like the time he had sex with 8 women in one night. GREAT SCOTT!
"When I entered Batman as a naive 20-year-old who had only dated a couple of girls, I met Adam West, who immediately introduced me to the wildest sexual debauchery that you can imagine," Ward once said.
"Holy hairy Pussies, Batman, I didn't know you could get BOTH fists in there!" 
"Yes Robin, this Basking Beaver has me in its Clutches!"

Then again, he did probably start that sort of sexual revolution....   
"If you look at our show, you'll see that we always stood with our legs open, our fists on hips and our bat bulges forward, which had a profound effect on women."
 And it's true! A huge problem in the early first season was that costuming hadn't figured out proper crotch smoothing just yet. So enough 60's husbands had called and wrote the station to complain about how the faint outline of Adam West's dick was obscenely getting their wives horny. Can you imagine that shit? Complaining about of all things that your wife wanted to fuck you? Talk about the fragile male ego. So the network actually put a crack team of censors on the case to ensure an end to this bulge lewdness.

I'm pretty sure that Adam West's ego was inflated to the size of the moon after being told that his junk making a dent in his costume had to be completely smoothed out because women were getting too wet from it.  Eventually costuming sorted the whole mess out and so Batman would then look like a Ken doll with the whole smooth crotch feature for the future to not enjoy as much.

My final take away is really acceptance. Because who among us HASN'T been kicked out of an orgy while pretending to be Batman? Come on, it's okay to just accept the reality of the situation.

Final note with a fun fact.  Cesar Romero used to pay young stage hands to throw orange wedges at his bare gaping asshole. Let's see all you new Jokers try to ever live up to that expectation and interpretation of the Clown Prince. Fuck you, You can't! That is just too crazy and regardless of how method Joaquin Phoenix is, I bet he won't even come close to that level of nuts.

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