Super Wacky Advertisements

Super Wacky Advertisements

This is one of those moments when I'm able to live up to the name of my blog. The following ads are really odd in every way possible. From how painfully honest they are. To how they really are over the top in describing everything but the item they're trying to sell.

So enjoy these very random ads, why don't you.

A Serious Man is the name of a very good film. It's also the best way to describe this mobile home seller;


This is just pretty damn funny;


Cuban Cynecologist and American Autosalesman


Crazy Bruce's Liquor


Oh the wonders of video production. Just think what YOU can do with it?


Ok, that was a bit too depressing, let's liven things up a little


And end it on a racist note!


There you have it. Some really strange ads. Will you be more inclined to buy their products or use their service? Who knows. I just know I laughed my ass off at them.

Making The Cut

Making The Cut

I like the cut of your jib, you fine reader of this blog. The only problem is that I'm currently away on vacation on the open road. What I will find out there? I have no idea. Maybe it's just a bit of good ol' fun. Maybe it's more work. Maybe it's the American dream. I don't know. The only thing I do know is that I fear getting stabbed by hobos.

It is a constant fear, I tell you. I mean, it would be something I could ignore if it wasn't for the fact that people and the outside world scare me. So why the hell did I take a trip up north? I hear there's nothing but coffee drinking criminals out there. And with the idea that Hobos want money and I may have some in my pocket, they may very well stab me.

So I present you and to myself this video. Which is a helpful tool on how to survive an edged weapon attack.



I hope you enjoyed that. I would write more but then again, I'm more than likely on the road right now. So no time to type. Just remember that The Knife Video is brought to you by the breast Council.



Nothing is more pointy than a good set of....
woah now! Can't go there. You get the idea. Breast, it's what's in your shirt.

Hopefully rancid hobos don't kill me and take my money. If I don't see you again in about a week and a half, more than likely that happened. In which case, enjoy some of the best of.. blogs I have in store for you to read as well as a mixture of new stuff that was written before my untimely hobo stabbing.

Herbie Popnecker: Comic Book Legend

Herbie Popnecker: Comic Book Legend

Long before Grant Morrison had a grip on the weird comic idea genre, there was a little comic put out by Richard Hughes and Ogden Whitney of ACG comics...

This is Herbie Popnecker, the fat little nothing.





He can talk to anything he likes.

He travels through time.


And has terrible powers if you threaten his lollypop consumption.


And fought the Devil, after he accidentally sold his soul.


Is stoic in the face of his terrible father.


And is best friends with JFK and Jackie O.


He also moonlights as a superhero, the Fat Fury.


And did I mention he's beaten Castro?


I can't recommend it highly enough. Need more proof on this bazaar comic book? The plot of that story is every bit as good as it sounds...

Herbie's dad takes him to see a boxing match in the hopes of motivating Herbie to act like a real man. The match is between American Sonny Liston and the Cuban Pablo Popsicle. Popsicle is going to use the match earnings to ransom the Cuban counter-revolutionary Juan Buanana from Castro.


Unfortunately, while training, Popsicle decides he wants one of Herbie's lollypops. Turns out it's an anti-gravity pop, and he floats away.


And so Herbie has to take his place in the match.






Unfortunately, because Herbie disappears after the match, they award the prize money to Liston. So Herbie decides to walk to Cuba and give Castro a piece of his mind. He sneaks into Castro's stronghold...


But Castro won't deal with him, after Herbie offers him 10 million lollopops!


So Herbie seduces the female prison guard with his saucy dancing skills...





(all images are from various issues of Herbie Comics, recently reprinted by Dark Horse in Archive edition) You can see a list of reoccurring themes in the comics


Oh yes, did I mention that Herbie is Watchmen creators favorite superhero?

Yeah, I guess that makes perfect sense for him to look to this strange comic book character.

Close Shave - Bad Marketing

Close Shave - Bad Marketing

You've seen those TV specials before on how wacky and strange other countries are with their advertisements. Well, You haven't seen nothing yet! The ads these days are as subtle as a brick in the face. when they try to sell you a product... or at least try to sell you an image. You know, it's not cool to be fuzzy. Especially if it's a back that's fuzzy. That's never good. No no no. So proper grooming is always in order.

Ladies!. If you've always wished your pubic hair could obtain the kind of geometric perfection previously found only in the panties of real dolls and robot whores, the Schick Quattro Trim Style (no I'm not making that up) is the product for you!



That commercial aired during Battlestar Galatica last night. Basically, as women walk past a bush it magically transforms to the implied shape as their pubes. I didn't realize women shaved their pubes into a circle. I've seen a lot of fur patches in my day, but I have yet to run across the perfect circle shown here as of yet. Thanks to Schick, my long search may finally be at an end. I'm surprised there wasn't one where the woman walks by and the bush just drops all its brush.

I can't believe it took them a year to change the Quattro Titanium into a Women's model by making it waterproof and sticking the women's blade on it. While this ad is pretty much telling people to trim their pubes. I guess it's ok since no one likes hair between their teeth. I remember the campaign last year where the term "manscaping" was creatively used to describe the same thing for men. I'm not in any way kidding about this. The selling point was that it kept going on about "giving you an extra optical inch". Way to sell a product on mens insecurities.

It's a shame to see women aren't thinking outside of the box. I'd like to see a hexagon once in a while. I like the idea of an octagon, just so that women can say "Step in to the Octagon!" My major question is what took so long for this creative use for shaving your privates? We've seen those hair cuts where they shave something onto the side of their head. So I just have to ask you ladies one question:

What, no lightning bolt option?

They've been marketing some version of these things for a while and they never take off. I guess it's because it's impossible to shave your bush in anything other than a straight line or a shape that looks like it was made by a retarded kindergartner. Even with a damn stencil. That and buying it would be like whispering to the cashier, "I'm gonna shave my pubes with this." Which is more embarrassing than buying birth control because that implies that you have sex. Buying the Schick implies that you are desperate enough to want to have sex but can't because you are buying a razor solely to maintain your bush.

Speaking of people who can't get laid, let's jump to those gamers. What is it with blade companies these days? Have you've seen the latest attempt to get Gamers to shave? Yeah. I get the stereotype - Video game players are usually gross neckbeards who don't shower or shave. It's still pretty ridiculous. It doesn't even make sense that they feel the need to spend so much money on marketing. Personal hygiene is one of those areas that probably feels the economic crunch last. Even if I'm tight on cash, I'm going to spend money if it means not looking like Chewbacca.


Moving on to our second strange, but true ad. With Saint Patty's day behind us, I think Guinness wants us to remember that whole behind aspect with this latest ad of theirs



Now.. that's just a little bit... disturbing. Let's see how many bad puns I can make of the situation. Too much head may not be a bad thing there. Black and tan, anyone?

I just have to ask, what the hell are the Mad Men in that ad agency thinking? Well.. I'm writing about a Guinness ad on a blog, so I guess it worked. But I like Guinness and wrote about it just this week alone anyway when I cooked with it making some corned beef.

I shared a shamrock shake.. but not with three people. No sir! I may share a shake but I'm an aries and we don't like to share much of anything. So be thankful of that.

This ad really troubles me. Why are you sharing your beer anyway? I can consume a Guinness with ease. Do you think I'll be sharing it with two other people? I mean, I guess the whole germs thing isn't much of an issue considering the three there are sharing much more. But still, that's not cool! Don't try to take my Guinness!

Gavin Newsom, What Slippery Slope Now Open

Gavin Newsom, What Slippery Slope Did You Open?

Well, even though I posted about it and the fact that the actual prop said "ELIMINATES RIGHTS.." in the first two words of it, it still passed. What the fuck, California? What the fuck? Seriously, do you not see how we look like the biggest douche bags around voting for Obama and change and yet staying the same god damn way with this stupidity? It's even more a slap in the face because Mormons supported this campaign to end gay marriage rights on the grounds of preserving the family structure... yet how many wives does a typical Mormon have?

I ignored the warnings of those that were in favor of Prop 8. You know the type. The ones that said if they allowed gay marriage than you'll have to teach kids about it in school and where would it end? People fighting for rights to marry their animals. Well I can say with all honesty in a Will Smith voice, The Shit Just Got Real.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised when a news story like this comes out of Japan. But as the saying goes, Denial isn't just a sea in Egypt. So I bring you news of the coming of the end because A Man Wants To Marry A Comic Character. Yeah, that's right. You heard me. And if you didn't click on that link then let me make it clearer. Sometimes I can't decide if we nuked them too much or not enough.

A Japanese man has enlisted hundreds of people in a campaign to allow marriages between humans and cartoon characters, saying he feels more at ease in the "two-dimensional world." Comic books are immensely popular in Japan, with some fictional characters becoming celebrities or even sex symbols.

Marriage is meanwhile on the decline as many young Japanese find it difficult to find life partners. Taichi Takashita launched an online petition aiming for one million signatures to present to the government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters.

Within a week he has gathered more than 1,000 signatures through the Internet. "I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world," he wrote.

"However, that seems impossible with present-day technology. Therefore, at the very least, would it be possible to legally authorise marriage with a two-dimensional character?"

"For a long time I have only been able to fall in love with two-dimensional people and currently I have someone I really love," one person wrote.

"Even if she is fictional, it is still loving someone. I would like to have legal approval for this system at any cost," the person wrote.

Japan only permits marriage between human men and women and gives no legal recognition to same-sex relationships. Prime Minister Taro Aso is an avid fan of manga and recently complained that he has been too busy to read comic books since taking office.

I should have listened. I should have just voted Yes on prop 8 to protect the sanctity of marriage.... Ok, I would never vote for prop 8 because I don't want to be scum and take away a humans right. But the story is rather scary. Then again, same sex marriages are not accepted there either. Perhaps we should take some note from all this. Allow gay marriages or else people will get rather wacky in the way they tie the knot. And it'll be far worse in terms of ruining your straight marriages.

I had to look around a bunch of articles, more than the normal sane person should look through. Turns out he wants to marry a big breasted chick from Haruhi. Way to reach for the stars, Champ. Oh yes, her character is in high school. Just felt like pointing that out.


The blushing(?) bride

Must be a slow news day. This is probably the least news worthy thing I've ever read. Though I do remember that one time when I read the article about the woman who married the Berlin Wall. Yeah, that was strange and long before gay marriage ever was cool to walk down the isle.



Marriages usually have to be consensual. So... Unless of course her knocked her up, the there could be a shotgun wedding, but it is paper. You can't accidentally impregnate paper. Not to mention how do you even talk about how you two met?

"Hey baby...you're a very sexy line segment! Let's get married and have pixels."


His wild dreams come true! 3D!

I wonder, if he does marry her, will his job offer him certain health insurance benefits that come with married couples? Ha, I'm just kidding. This prick has to be unemployed. Silly otaku.

This scares me because I never thought I would find a group creepier than the real doll fuckers on the internet. But thank you once again, internets. You find me another reason to hate humanity. Real doll fuckers at least have something tangible to have sex with. You cartoon lovers... you have a piece of paper.


Thank you Cool World. See what you
have done to society?

How can you marry something that can't consent? The animators would have to animate the character accepting the marriage proposal. I'll bet they have more discriminating tastes than some Japanese loser. Imagine how sad it would be to get rejected by an animated character. The animator would have to spend a lot of time animating your rejection.

Some time back a furry had a wedding ceremony with him and Minerva Mink from Animaniacs. Warner Brother's animation studio got word and put up posters saying something like, "Sorry, fat boy, this Mink is still single!" with a picture of her looking disgusted. I would wager that there isn't enough power ballads in the world to pull yourself out of that sort of rejection. Then again, that had to be one big fucking loser.



If I was the comic author, I'd wait until the man married the character, then a few months down the line reveal that the character has a penis, or HIV. This does bring new meaning to that lame joke Pee Wee always used to shout.

" Oh man this is such a good sandwich. I love this sandwich"
"if you love it so much why dont you marry it nyaa"

Now you have to stop to think for a couple of seconds if you're willing to commit to it.
My only warning is this. He better keep his dirty hands off Erin Esurance! She only finds those low low auto rates for me and me only! I really shouldn't be surprised by these 2D-3D relationships. They've been around for a while now.