Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Gavin Newsom, What Slippery Slope Now Open

Gavin Newsom, What Slippery Slope Did You Open?

Well, even though I posted about it and the fact that the actual prop said "ELIMINATES RIGHTS.." in the first two words of it, it still passed. What the fuck, California? What the fuck? Seriously, do you not see how we look like the biggest douche bags around voting for Obama and change and yet staying the same god damn way with this stupidity? It's even more a slap in the face because Mormons supported this campaign to end gay marriage rights on the grounds of preserving the family structure... yet how many wives does a typical Mormon have?

I ignored the warnings of those that were in favor of Prop 8. You know the type. The ones that said if they allowed gay marriage than you'll have to teach kids about it in school and where would it end? People fighting for rights to marry their animals. Well I can say with all honesty in a Will Smith voice, The Shit Just Got Real.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised when a news story like this comes out of Japan. But as the saying goes, Denial isn't just a sea in Egypt. So I bring you news of the coming of the end because A Man Wants To Marry A Comic Character. Yeah, that's right. You heard me. And if you didn't click on that link then let me make it clearer. Sometimes I can't decide if we nuked them too much or not enough.

A Japanese man has enlisted hundreds of people in a campaign to allow marriages between humans and cartoon characters, saying he feels more at ease in the "two-dimensional world." Comic books are immensely popular in Japan, with some fictional characters becoming celebrities or even sex symbols.

Marriage is meanwhile on the decline as many young Japanese find it difficult to find life partners. Taichi Takashita launched an online petition aiming for one million signatures to present to the government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters.

Within a week he has gathered more than 1,000 signatures through the Internet. "I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world," he wrote.

"However, that seems impossible with present-day technology. Therefore, at the very least, would it be possible to legally authorise marriage with a two-dimensional character?"

"For a long time I have only been able to fall in love with two-dimensional people and currently I have someone I really love," one person wrote.

"Even if she is fictional, it is still loving someone. I would like to have legal approval for this system at any cost," the person wrote.

Japan only permits marriage between human men and women and gives no legal recognition to same-sex relationships. Prime Minister Taro Aso is an avid fan of manga and recently complained that he has been too busy to read comic books since taking office.
I should have listened. I should have just voted Yes on prop 8 to protect the sanctity of marriage.... Ok, I would never vote for prop 8 because I don't want to be scum and take away a humans right. But the story is rather scary. Then again, same sex marriages are not accepted there either. Perhaps we should take some note from all this. Allow gay marriages or else people will get rather wacky in the way they tie the knot. And it'll be far worse in terms of ruining your straight marriages.

I had to look around a bunch of articles, more than the normal sane person should look through. Turns out he wants to marry a big breasted chick from Haruhi. Way to reach for the stars, Champ. Oh yes, her character is in high school. Just felt like pointing that out.

The blushing(?) bride

Must be a slow news day. This is probably the least news worthy thing I've ever read. Though I do remember that one time when I read the article about the woman who married the Berlin Wall. Yeah, that was strange and long before gay marriage ever was cool to walk down the isle.

Marriages usually have to be consensual. So... Unless of course her knocked her up, the there could be a shotgun wedding, but it is paper. You can't accidentally impregnate paper. Not to mention how do you even talk about how you two met?

"Hey're a very sexy line segment! Let's get married and have pixels."

His wild dreams come true! 3D!

I wonder, if he does marry her, will his job offer him certain health insurance benefits that come with married couples? Ha, I'm just kidding. This prick has to be unemployed. Silly otaku.

This scares me because I never thought I would find a group creepier than the real doll fuckers on the internet. But thank you once again, internets. You find me another reason to hate humanity. Real doll fuckers at least have something tangible to have sex with. You cartoon lovers... you have a piece of paper.

Thank you Cool World. See what you
have done to society?

How can you marry something that can't consent? The animators would have to animate the character accepting the marriage proposal. I'll bet they have more discriminating tastes than some Japanese loser. Imagine how sad it would be to get rejected by an animated character. The animator would have to spend a lot of time animating your rejection.

Some time back a furry had a wedding ceremony with him and Minerva Mink from Animaniacs. Warner Brother's animation studio got word and put up posters saying something like, "Sorry, fat boy, this Mink is still single!" with a picture of her looking disgusted. I would wager that there isn't enough power ballads in the world to pull yourself out of that sort of rejection. Then again, that had to be one big fucking loser.

If I was the comic author, I'd wait until the man married the character, then a few months down the line reveal that the character has a penis, or HIV. This does bring new meaning to that lame joke Pee Wee always used to shout.

" Oh man this is such a good sandwich. I love this sandwich"
"if you love it so much why dont you marry it nyaa"

Now you have to stop to think for a couple of seconds if you're willing to commit to it.
My only warning is this. He better keep his dirty hands off Erin Esurance! She only finds those low low auto rates for me and me only! I really shouldn't be surprised by these 2D-3D relationships. They've been around for a while now.

1 comment:

Steve said...

Now what makes you think that a real doll is creepy? What about that old guy from Family Guy. He makes a realdoll look like a walk in the park. Great article on Gavin.