Thursday, March 17, 2011

Why I Hate The Luck Of The Irish

Why I Hate The Irish

It's not even the Irish that I hate, I just really dislike this stupid holiday altogether.

As much of a drunk that I am, you would imagine that I would love St. Patty's day to death. It's nothing more than an excuse to drink and pretend you're some Irish. I mean, I know I love me some red headed fare maidens out there, but in reality, I hate the holiday.

The problem I have with this holiday is that it's everything that is wrong with America.

At best, St. Patty's day is Amateur hour at any bar you happen to go to. If it has an Irish sounding name then it's just going to be so much worse. You can expect to wait in a good 45 minute line outside of the joint just to get in.

And once you do get in, it's elbow bumping shoulder to shoulder all the way. But hey, these are the kind of people you want to be around anyway, right? Wrong. That amateur description really says it all.

These are the people who easily only come to the bar twice a year during Cinco De Mayo and St Patty's day. I can't think of another Holiday that drives them out as 4th of July is clearly a day you drink outside.

So yeah, you have these folks who have no idea how bar etiquette works. Bartenders getting shitty tips for crazy service - which does lead to having to wait ten minutes at the bar to get your shitty Green dyed beer. Makes you wonder what happens to all that Miller-lite that gets dyed for one night.

And of course these folks are the ones who don't see that it's now socially acceptable to drink without having to come up with some silly excuse as "The dude who we don't know the history of celebration day is here!". Well they end up getting really shit faced off of really bad beer. Most of them still have this preconceived notion that Guinness is so heavy and ewww!

But this leads to the classic drunks fighting and puking all over your bar and your persons. I mean, it's bound to happen. The holiday promotes recluse abandonment of being responsible with the simple banner that it's okay since it's St Patty's day. Duh!

Not to mention that D.U.I. check points are vastly increased and highway patrol is on full alert. In fact, this not only is in effect on Thursday, but since it's so close to the weekend, they extend the full on manhunt for anyone combining alcohol in any amount and getting behind the wheel to the entire weekend. So you can expect to see far more police out on the road and D.U.I check points pop up all over L.A.

Then you have those folks who just love to remind you that they're Irish. As if 1/10th of your ancestral background being a Mick is something to be proud of or gives you proper justification to get so shit faced in public you make an ass out of yourself.

Ha ha! Would you look at that, it's a Drunk Irishman. Oh boy does he have a drinking problem, but that's perfectly fine because he's Irish! Continue to laugh at their silly antics as if he was some leprechaun while they slowly drink themselves to an early and painful death.

It's pretty ironic that these part Irish folks are all proud of being it. The Irish were not considered a "True" white race until the late 19th century. You were probably hated more than the blacks. The only difference is they were brought here as slaves. You came on your own free will and still face such hatred.

But me, I don't hate the Irish. I just hate the people who take a holiday and use it as an excuse to fuck up my local watering hole and feel like they don't have a problem in wanting to get so completely wasted simply because it's a Saint's day. And I'm not even catholic.

It's not even just me that hates this day. Most real Irish also hate it. I'm pretty sure that at night they go and piss on the Blarney stone

But hey, do you actually want to know the history of this Holiday you're pissing on? By all means, click the video away...

But hey, you just want yet another excuse to get drunk. Who cares if you're fine with misinterpreting history and exploiting foreign culture for the purpose of some good times, right?

Don't get me wrong, I'm someone who loves pale redheaded women even more than the next guy. And I realize that when it comes to a sub group of people who fit that category, they're most likely going to come from that ethnic background of being Irish... and having that oh so sexy Irish accent... But back to the point, this Holiday has taken a life of its own and it's really pretty sad, all things given, that it's just focused on the drinking aspect.

And yeah, they don't eat Haggis, folks. That's the Scottish. Corned Beef and cabbage is also something that while very tasty, probably doesn't have as much consumption as you would imagine the Irish to eat. Also, why hasn't black pudding become more popular?

But I guess it does come down to the fact that it seems that every American holiday is really about drinking. The only difference is that on St. Patty's day, you don't have to deal with family, buy anyone a card or even sugar coat the drinking aspect of it.

So with that, I guess I'll say HAPPY ST. PADDY'S DAY, YOU MICK BASTARDS!

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