One More St. Paddy's Day Rant
Since I had to deal with two check points this weekend because of how close St Patrick's day/weekend celebration, I'm going to be like a potato famine and hit the Irish with everything I have...
Okay, that's a little unfair. It's not the Irish's fault really. Yeah, they're genetically disposed to be drunks, but it's not their fault that every fucking frat boy has co-oped their holiday as an excuse to get shit faced.
No, you see, I don't go in for that "Excuse to drink" bullshit. I didn't nor would I be drinking any more on any St. Patty's day or the weekend that follows it than I normally do.
On the flip side, I also won't be drinking any less.
Now that I think about it, the saying "Luck o the Irish" seems like a passive-aggressive jab when viewed historically. Fuck, that's pretty messed up, man.
St. Patricks Day would be a much better day if the British Army showed up at some point and gunned down every dumbshit wearing an over-sized, novelty Guinness hat. Then you would cue in another 800 years of Irish crying, whining, and self-pity. Oh yeah, not to mention awful U2 music. God, why is it that you white people love that band so much?
Perhaps I should take another shot at educating you on St. Patty's day history. I mean, it could very well be that St Patrick's Day was indeed a coded story about how Christians exterminated all the practitioners of local religions because they were metaphorically "snakes" that were driven out of Ireland. Or it could very well be a reference to druids with their snake tattoos and what not.
And how about that potato? Let's let a clearly stereotypical Irish lass explain it.
How about knowing your Irish? Here's a list of Irish folk in history, famous and infamous. Feel free to add to it if you recall any micks.
Yup. Shaquille is probably the best Irish-American name. Now see, isn't history fun? It's a whole lot better than just making an excuse for Bro's to get together and get drunk and act belligerent. The whole Holiday should be openly mocked.
And yeah, Guinness, I love you, but why the fuck are you selling a stout called "extra foreign"? If people are more than happy enough to drink Green Miller Lite for a quarter at 7am, why make something "extra foreign"?
Most people drink Keystone or PBR that they bought in a 30 pack for $7.99. They aren't doing this ironically, you know. More so because they're probably unemployed in this economy and running out of money.
Well, there we go. I did a final few jabs at the whole St. Patty's Weekend. So how about we kick this away by playing something that isn't Dropkick Murphy's