Friday, March 25, 2011

Hitting You With A Sucker Punch

Hitting You With A Sucker Punch

I guess with the weekend starting up, it's time to talk about what's going to be hitting the movie theaters.

Surprisingly enough, I started a draft for this blog post last year right after comic con when the first footage was shown.

Yeah, that did look pretty damn odd and over the top, didn't it? I bet you're wondering what's it all about. Well, this is the first completely original film by Zack Snyder that he's co-written and directed. Amazing, no more remakes and comic book adaptions. The boy has finally grown up...

Or has he? I mean, look at this sketch art laced all over this blog post it's pretty clear he has some school boy fetish/fantasies running rampant all over this film. So anyhow, the film is set in Vermont during the 1950's and tells the story of a young woman named Babydoll who is confined to a mental institution by her abusive father.

Facing the possibility of a lobotomy, being the standard practice of the time, Babydoll works on figuring out a way to escape with her other fellow mental patients (Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, Jamie Chung and Jena Malone) and as the story moves in and out of anachronistic fantasy sequences, filled with dragons, robots, zombie nazi's and all sorts of other strange shit, it's geared to take you on one strange journey.

I have to admit that I'm looking forward to seeing it. And not just because of my strange crush on Jena Malone. That doesn't hurt, mind you, but because it does look like a wonderful playground for science fiction.. even if the story is complete shit and fairly predictable, it does scream to be at the very least eye candy.

I mean, just look at the official trailer...

Yes, it looks like the dumbest premise in order to put a bunch of high school looking girls into ridiculous fight sequences and skimpy clothing while also charging around guns a blazing. There's really going to be no end in sight to the nerdy fandom that follows.

It seems to embody everything that wrong with these kinds of epic films in Hollywood and I would be surprised if it's longer than 90 minutes, but hell if I'm not probably going to enjoy the visual eye candy that all the glorified violence and female leads provide.

It's pretty clear that this is all just going on in their mind as a visual representation of what is happening metaphorically to them in the real world and I'm sure that Babydoll will get her brain lobotomized and the dreams be nothing more than.. well, a dream.

I mean, why else would it be called Sucker Punch? I'm guessing that's in reference to the audience getting sucker punched with the fact that none of this shit mattered in the real world. But again, I guess it'll be worth it for the action and science fiction adventure in it.

I mean, Snyder did harden these female actors up who aren't really known for doing any action roles before. He sent Emily Browning and the rest of the gang to train with fucking Navy SEALs. By the end of their 12-week training session, I read somewhere each of the main girls could lift 210 lbs.

What the fuck are you doing to Jena Malone, Snyder? What with battling dragons, orcs, zombies and Nazi's, this sucker is a mix between the Matrix and Lord of the Rings with a tad bit of Inception and mixed with a chaser of Kill Bill and Alice in Wonderland.

Wait.. isn't this set in the 1950's? Forget the Orcs, demons, dragons, Samurai with chain guns and zombie Nazi's in trenches.. my believability in this film has been compromised!
Wait, isn't this set in the 1950s?

Besides that, if you put Lords of Acid for the music in a trailer and you train your petite actresses for 6 hours a day with Navy SEALs for 3 months, toss in Samurai's with massive guns and trench warfare... How could you not have every 13 year old's wet dream? I'm certainly not seeing any downside yet..

Well, there's some bad news. It looks like he cut 20 minutes of fighting scenes to keep it PG-13 So at least there will be a substantially longer director's cut to look forward to. The only review on RT thus far is from the comments, but I think this person only saw the trailer:
Emily "a series of unfortunate events never got turned into a series" Browning stars in Sucker Punch; a movie that unabashedly centers around nothing but man-fantasy eye candy... better known as Maxim: The Movie. The film follows the cartoon inspired tragedy of a teenage-ish girl in the 1960's who is locked away at a stripper school for the criminally insane, which also doubles as a matrix martial arts dojo. Quick zooms, rapid slo-mo, and boobs jiggling as shells bounce off pavement... in slow motion... yeah, it's all there in full supply.
TRIVIA: keep on the lookout for the token, ass-kicking Asian chick, which totally hasn't been overdone since Sin City.
This is going to be one of those films that critics are going to hate. I mean, it's Zack Synder for goodness sakes. His face is asking for a Sucker Punch. But still, here's two animated shorts to get you in the mood.

And the second one..

Even if the story sucks, at least this will be interesting to look at. It's like a Heavenly Creatures for retards or a Pan's Labyrinth complete with aving to accomplish task and gather items all before the ending to Brazil most likely kicks in.

But yeah, I have a feeling that the movie is titled Sucker Punch. Who else thinks there will be a massive fuck you at the end where the protagonist gets killed/lobotomized anyway after completing all her missions?

This is how the movie needs to end.

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