Friday, May 21, 2010

What's The Best Way To Kill Barack Obama?

What's The Best Way To Kill Barack Obama?

Now that I got the FBI's attention, let's talk about this guy and what he said to a classroom of math students.

And for those of you who don't want to click on the youtube link, it went down like this:
The teacher was appar­ently teaching his geometry students about parallel lines and angles, officials said. He used the example of where to stand and aim if shooting Obama.

"He was talking about angles and said, 'If you're in this building, you would need to take this angle to shoot the president,'" said Joseph Brown, a senior in the geometry class.
Another student said: "We were going over a test and getting reviewed for our finals and were going over tangency. A student walked in and said, 'Well, if you shoot the president...' and the teacher picked up on it and said, 'OK, if you shoot off his ear, that is a point of tangency.'"
Malia Drummond, a student in Harrison's class during the lesson, defended him as an conscientious teacher who didn't deserve to be fired. She told Birmingham News: "Yeah, the comment was probably inappropriate, but who in America hasn't make a joke about Obama?

Well now, I guess columbine paranoia has died down a bit, wasn't so long ago that a student even mentioned anything about shooting or bombs would send up alarms and they'll get expelled and questioned by the police. Here I thought the teacher was just trying to educate them on the world of angles.

Math teachers in general are pretty creepy though. I think it's all the time spent with numbers that just drives them off the deep end. As well as figuring out that we're simply insignificant numbers in the grand scheme of things. But come on. The baby who squealed on him needs to be punched into oblivion. Don't they know that snitches get stitches?

I mean, did you know that it was illegal? That suggesting or even saying you will kill the president can get you into some real deep trouble? It's something you should know cause, I mean.. it is one of those things you would think is in your freedom of speech rights but isn't. I mean, ask this guy. He'll give you the skinny.

Ha ha ha ha.. but no. Seriously all joking aside, how do we kill the president? I'm putting the FBI spotlight on you, people. How would you kill the president?

Ice pick to the bilderberg receiver in the back?

Carnivorous teleprompter?

Poisoning his breakfast with 50,000 barrels of crude oil each day

With Kindness?

I hear that he's allergic to coherent policy and keeping campaign promises, so the surest way would probably be making him do something related to those.

Most importantly, Where's the death certificate?

I'm sure someone seriously reported this blog post to the secret service and they're gonna have to investigate all threats to the president no matter how stupid and ridiculous it sounds. Even if it's full of sarcasm and black comedy. And if they're not on the case, perhaps I should expand it out to world leaders on a whole. What's the best way to kill Margaret Thatcher? I imagine jumping out and shouting "BOO" would probably do the trick.

Or I could be like those Ring Wingers who are quoting a bible verse that means "Go kill a black democrat" and expressing this view through bumper stickers. it's just perfect, if you think about it. I mean, what the bible verse is saying is may he die quickly. That surely isn't inciting violence in your prayer, right? I wonder if you can incite god to violence and does it fall under the freedom of/for religion? I guess that's how this teacher should have played it out.

I remember my youth with English teachers making joke about the death of the Pope. Ah yes, my drunk English teacher in catholic school was pretty cool.. and drunk. Perhaps this all could have been avoided if the Math teacher used Hitler as the example as no one cares if we kill him off in our words and imagination. It should be like that in all text books because kids love that sort of shit.

With this blog I am not encouraging or inciting anyone to make any physical and mental harm on our president. Nor am I making any threat to our president or any president of our rich American history. Though Lincoln kind of had it coming.

See you guys in Gitmo!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

So what is the best angle for a clean head shot?