Friday, September 10, 2010

Palin/Beck '12 - Fair And Balance Change You Can Believe In, Dontcha Know

Palin/Beck '12 - Fair And Balance Change You Can Believe In, Dontcha Know

In the event that you somehow don't have Sarah Palin on both your facebook and twitter feed, she recently announced that she will be taking time off from her exciting new career as a Facebook enthusiast to travel to Iowa.

Now rumors are going around town of an accelerate time table for a presidential campaign with one interesting clue dropped in today's Vanity Fair piece.
Moore, a green-eyed blonde who, like Palin, was once an Alaska beauty queen, albeit a few stripes more self-aware, drives her Subaru through downtown Anchorage, steering with one hand, holding a cigarette and her smartphone in the other. When Devon calls to tell her that Glenn Beck has booked the Dena’ina Center, the largest venue in Anchorage, for a speech on September 11, 2010, she sits bolt upright and yells. Immediately, they start trying to figure out what the news might mean. “Listen, listen, listen: Why in the world do you imagine Glenn Beck would come to Anchorage on 9/11? You think he might have a special guest? With a special announcement? Oh,” she says, her whole face falling as the implications of a Palin campaign kickoff hit her, “Jesus Christ.”

Then if you go over to Glenn Beck's corner of the Fox news world, you would find out that Beck himself has confirmed on his radio show that he'd be taking himself a little vacation and would be appearing with Palin at the event "a week from Saturday."

Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? This may be a huge leap in jumping to conclusions, but would it be comical to see a 9/11 launch of Beck/Palin 2012 presidential campaign. Or is that too much of a conspiracy to jump start this election cycle?

Then again, much like wearing white after labor day, you just can't announce a candidacy before the midterms. It's something you just have to wait for. Beck is crazy, but customs are customs, you know. Announcing your intentions three years early is a bit much, even in this media atmosphere and by these two attention whores.

Besides that, I refuse to believe that these two people could get elected. It's not the leadership America needs, by any stretch. But you have to admit it's exactly what we deserve. Maybe that's why this left siding blogger couldn't care about them potentially running for president. It just means more comedy for all of us.

Chances are they're just going to hype up their book sales and her potential TLC show. But let's think for a moment about the what if. It would be a good thing if they ran. It would probably split the Republican ticket without having too much of an effect in shifting the bounds of discussion.

I have been on the fence of starting a "socialist for Sarah" campaign, maybe if this actually happens I'll go for it, since the unimaginable suffering that would result from it would be the best chance to get the underclass riled up.

Then again, what if they win? Looking at Iraq and Afghanistan, can you even imagine what kind of mess Iran is going to be once those two get behind the controls and push all the buttons? Perhaps we should just have them elected so that we can get through this whole actual dictatorship phase sooner rather than later and just get it out of our system.

I can see it now. Beck making his inaugural address, the frenzied and joyous scream of the crowd unable to contain itself. He will blush and try to simmer the funny shaped masses, but they will not listen. No! Wither every interruption, every half formed word, he becomes more tearful, and they become louder and America is born anew in an uproarious cataclysm of corn dogs and American flag shirts and the freedomriffic smell of freshly restored honor.

This all continues for the four years to follow. America - Made whole by Glenn Beck. But then again.. would Beck have to give up his TV show if he's president? I don't see him ever doing that, even for a chance to bomb whoever he wants. Maybe he could just turn it into his weekly address to the nation.

Then on the other hand, this guy...

Is going to run for President in 2012. John Bolton for Prez, 2012!

Now if that's not comedy, I don't know what is. Let's be honest, who are the republicans going to field? I can't decide if the whole populism schtick at the moment requires a face people recognize or one they don't know for their best hoped for result. You have to factor in who would be a scarier president. John Bolton, New Gingrich or Glenn Beck?

Rock;Hard Place;Shotgun.

At this point I wonder if there is any even remotely plausible republican potential candidate for 2012 that isn't absolutely guaranteed to bomb Iran so far back in time that Greece tries to seize the place again.

It's really sad that their only candidate with any appeal whatsoever is Palin. It also doesn't matter how unpopular she is. She only needs a plurality to win, and those who like her right now will almost certainly rabidly support her then.

John Bolton is very scary and stupid. As well as belligerent and he's only going to get worse with age. It'd be like having Cressbeckler as president...

Is that the hope you want to believe in?

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