Massive Changes For Massive Dynamics
October 7 | Staff Writer Javier J.
New York - Only one week since the death, reading and executing of Massive Dynamics creator William Bell's last will, the New York News has learned that Dr. Walter Bishop has been left sole shareholder of the company stock and already questions are arising as to his ability to lead a 50 billion dollar company.
They started circulating when he revealed the new direction that the company will be heading in the days to come. The first sign was when employees of the Chemistry department were given the task by Dr. Bishop of tackling improved LSD development and research.
The Agricultural Sciences division will soon begin a crash-course in development of a new and more potent cannabis product, project "Brown Betty", as it is called. Many have stated that this is Dr. Bishop personal mission and has had a hands on approach in teaching Massive Dynamic workers through the entire steps.
Another of Dr. Bishop's ideas is to get rid of the giant floating letters outside of the building. "There is no need to waste anti-gravity force fields on such self promotion of the buildings name and location." Bishop stated in a press release. "We already know it's in New York, what do you think? You woke up in Manhatan all of sudden?"
Employee and Department head Brandon McDonald was fine with the changes already made at the company commissary, where we he was eating one of Bishop's latest menu changes - Bacon Pudding. "I'm not all that shocked by the changes" McDonald stated, "But this bacon flavored pudding, now that's a surprise."
A bigger surprise is the rumors that have been circulating that CEO Nina Sharp was being replaced with a Mr. Papaya. When attempting to look into who this Papaya person was and find any work history or previous business experience, no files were found other than a note suggesting that he is the friendliest of all fruits.
Even though Massive Dynamic is a weapons testing, robotics, medical equipment, aeronautics, genetics and pharmaceuticals company, Walter Bishop has added one more item to the that list - diary farm. An entire floor has been devoted to the advancement of bovine studies. Specifically in the creation of a chocolate cow.
"I want Gene to be taken care of. How else is she going to start making chocolate milk?" Bishop told the NYNews. Along with that an on-site panda express expected to be added to provide constant satisfaction to Dr. Bishop's personal pet's food cravings.
"I would just like to say now that I would turn down any notion of being the Secretary, so just don't ask me." Bishop joked with reporters at the press conference.
"In his last message to me Belle told me not to be afraid to cross the line. And so that's why I say with certainly today that we're pushing the limits and seeing if Gene will be able to produce Strawberry milk as well."
Bishop finished by telling the press "Now if you'll excuse me, I have Ginger Ale to make."
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(October 7, 2010)