Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Sex And The City 2 - The Sands that Time Forgot

Sex And The City 2 - The Sands that Time Forgot

So this past weekend saw the release of Sex and the city 2 and I haven't said anything negative about the subject. Clearly I'm off my game as I need to get on top of this matter. Yes, you can say that it's time for me to get off to the races on this.

Now, first off I'm confused. I saw this description of the film.
But very quickly, the SATC brain trust notices that it's not all swarthy man-slaves and flying carpets in Abu Dhabi! In fact, Abu Dhabi is crawling with Muslim women—and not one of them is dressed like a super-liberated diamond-encrusted fucking clown!!! Oppression! OPPRESSION!!!

This will not stand. Samantha, being the prostitute sexual revolutionary that she is, rages against the machine by publicly grabbing the engorged penis of a man she dubs "Lawrence of My-Labia." When the locals complain (having repeatedly asked Samantha to cover her nipples and mons pubis in the way of local custom), Samantha removes most of her clothes in the middle of the spice bazaar, throws condoms in the faces of the angry and bewildered crowd, and screams, "I AM A WOMAN! I HAVE SEX!" Thus, traditional Middle Eastern sexual mores are upended and sexism is stoned to death in the town square.

At sexism's funeral (which takes place in a mysterious, incense-shrouded chamber of international sisterhood), the women of Abu Dhabi remove their black robes and veils to reveal—this is not a joke—the same hideous, disposable, criminally expensive shreds of cloth and feathers that hang from Carrie et al.'s emaciated goblin shoulders. Muslim women: Under those craaaaaaay-zy robes, they're just as vapid and obsessed with physical beauty and meaningless material concerns as us! Feminism! Fuck yeah!
At first I though this surely was a hilariously repurposed review of some other film but no, it seems that they really did decide to tackle middle eastern feminism in satc2. Then digging in a little more to actually find out about this and sure enough yup, that they did.
"Indicative of the film's contradictory stance is a scene in which the ladies perform a karaoke version of Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman" in an Abu Dhabi nightclub. An equally outrageous moment comes when the interlopers are rescued by a bunch of Muslim women who strip off their black robes to reveal the stylish Western outfits they are concealing beneath their discreet garb. These endearingly loopy scenes exhibit the tasteless humor that enlivened the TV series on its best nights."
Oh my. I was waiting to see Hollywood tackle the clash of feminism and islamism. But I do hope that the airport security didn't take away those ladies' boniva pills. It'd be a shame if they hurt themselves riding those camels. Osteoporosis is a serious thing, yo.

I'm really confused by this picture of the girls. I mean, are they suppose to be shooting for that attractive look? Because they're failing on all regard. Well I guess it's just marketing. They make her kind of unattractive and unflattering so you're not jealous of them and yet at the same time they ultraglamorous and an object of desire. Women of all levels of attractiveness can identify with and become invest in the character and their lifestyle.

But let's make one thing clear, getting middle eastern women to dress up like American women isn't feminist. This whole Sex and the city is nothing more than bougie white women complaining about shoes and getting men, there's nothing feminist about it at all. Spoiler alert - in sex and the city 2 all of the women get hysterectomies and burn their bras. Even feminist tend to be divided on the sex and the city.
not all feminists are leftist socialists, it's important to remember that, so saying that something is not "feminist" because it glorifies materialism or mainstream american values is using the word too narrowly. it's like when story tried to use his own definition of "rape fantasy" and then condemn all males who had a "rape fantasy."
FYI - The problem isn't just the materialism, it's the attitude of the women toward GETTING WHAT THEY WANT regarding men. When you look at the big picture, Two and a half men is, somehow, the most feminist show on television. Go figure.

This is like some vague caricature of a woman

So how did it do? Not so good. I mean, yes. A lot of vapid cunts did go see it. But let's take a look at Ebert's review of SATC2
"Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of "Sex and the City 2" are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row."
And as beautiful as that is, this is worth noting;
"Reader, I must confess that while attending the sneak preview with its overwhelmingly female audience, I was gob-smacked by the delightful cleavage on display. Do women wear their lowest-cut frocks for each other?"
Ha. Now I know how to get a good review for my future film. Put a bunch of breasts in your movie and it'll probably get you at least an extra half star from Ebert.

Sex and the City is terrible. It's like Entourage for women and well, that show is total shit. I think it's actually far worse then any conversation men could have. I don't think I've ever had a discussion solely about vagina's in a group of men. Unlike this program where they constantly talk about dick.

I also don't even understand how they managed to have all that sex in NEW YORK CITY and not catch HIV or at least an STD. What was the statistic? 1 in 3 people in New York have herpies. These women should be dead four different ways. There was an episode where it revealed that Samantha doesn't use condoms and had never been tested for HIV because she was afraid of the results. This did not stop her from having sex.

I leave you with this link to my favorite Feminist blog Jezebel as they do a minute by minute blog of the film. Don't let their suffering be for nothing. Don't watch this movie...
2:26 Carrie has realized that she doesn't have her passport. Miranda is trying to speak Arabic and says, "LALALALALA!"

12:28 Samantha's bag falls out as religious men are walking to prayer. Lots of condoms fall out.

12:28 The men are freaking out. Samantha yells, "YES I HAVE SEX."

12:29 They are being followed by a mob.

12:32 Carrie says yeah, from NYC. Women say, "We love the fashion!"

12:33 The ladies take off abayas and underneath they are wearing designer outfits.

12:34 But Carrie and the gals can't stay. They have to catch a flight. How will they get past the mob?

12:35 They borrow abayas, of course.

Oh yeah.. Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a god damn horse.

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