Your June 8th California Primary Voter's Guide

Your June 8th California Primary Voter's Guide

Wait, did you forget that today is a Primary? Oh, don't worry, when I worked the polling booth no one remembered the primaries either. But now that you're informed that today we have a civic duty to vote early and vote often, it's your chance to.. um.. well, um. do something. Yeah, it's a Primary. Those fuckers get like 1/3rd the voter turn out than a normal election. In fact, I'm pretty sure most of my readers are those who would vote no on everything, every election, except weed.

So I'm just going to tell you what to vote for. Don't bother looking any of this shit up or getting informed. Ha! Not like you would anyway. But just vote exactly like this and you should be A-okay and happy with your "I voted" sticker.

Proposition 13, Laws on Property Tax Assessment: It would make it so that if you're getting your building earthquake-proofed, someone from the city/county/state won't stop by as part of the inspections and decide to bump up your property and increase your property tax.

You should vote no on 13 if you want to see asshole landlords gamble on crushing their tenants to death in exchange for a slight lower tax bill.

Proposition 14, Vote for this if you want to fuck up CA's electoral process even more/reinforce the two-party system: Nope.

Proposition 15, California Fair Elections Act: Hell yeah. If only to stick it to lobbyists.

Proposition 16, PG&E's Fuck-you-in-the-ass/Fuck-socialism Prop: Ahahahahaha. No.

Proposition 17, Poor people don't need inexpensive car insurance: Fuck no.

Everything else is only district-wide so if you an independent just vote for whoever looks most commie, if you're green or socialist vote for whoever looks the least crazy, and if you're registered democrat hahahah. yeah...

After I broke up with that one ex girlfriend I don't even acknowledge the Santa Clara area, so I wont post that shit.

I guess if you want ot be ironic you should vote NO, YES, NO, YES, YES... simply to fuck California more than it's already fucked. I mean, why not. it's the comedy option!

As for Meg Whitman... I just want to punch her in the face. I think the most comical thing about the election is all those god damn ads by Meg Whitman and Pozner accusing each other of the exact same thing. Whitman is soft on illegals! Poizner is soft on illegals! Poizner supports amnesty! Whitman supports amnesty! Whitman is too liberal for California! Poizner is too liberal for California.

Given the facts that I'm not registered for that lame party, I don't get to vote for her, now do I? So yeah, go ahead and ignore the fact that today you're suppose to vote on something. Peace!