Thursday, November 8, 2018



Let's just get it out there. I lived in Florida for a solid year or so... it was.. a strange place. Which is a lot coming from someone who grew up and lived in Los Angeles. But when I saw this news piece the other day, I sort of just understood and nodded my head in thinking that 'yeah, that totally sounds like Florida alright."

A Florida gas station owner has placed a sign in his store asking customers not to warm urine in the microwave.
Parul Patel says he's become "sick and tired" of people walking into his BP gas station and On the Fly convenience store in Jacksonville to warm their containers of urine. The store is within walking distance of two labs that offer drug testing services and collect urine samples.
Patel tells First Coast News the people who used his microwave to warm urine "walk in off the street, microwave their urine containers then leave."
He says a woman became aggressive a few months ago when he asked her not to warm urine. She asked to see a sign that says it's not for that purpose. So he made one.
I mean, if you don't have a sign up telling people NOT to warm their urine in the microwave, then who's fucking fault is it, ya know. I mean, what the fuck? How do you expect me NOT to know what I can't and can warm up in your microwave in a gas station if there's not a sign. From urine for a drug test to, you know, some road kill I found off the side of I-95. You telling me that I can't warm this up? HOW DARE YOU!

The next question is... what the fuck are they warming it up in? I get that they're trying to cheat the drug test and it's bought urine and all, but where are they keeping it that they could sneak it into the lab so easily? Is it a ziplock back taped to their crotch or something? I mean, shit, there's so many questions to be asked based on this one story that I don't even know how to start asking!

I mean, at the very least they don't try to reheat fish in that microwave, right? Cause if they did they may as well just burn that fucking machine to the ground. No way to ever come back from microwaving Fish.  And anyone who has done that at a work break room should get sent to live in Florida cause that shit is just wrong.

So back to the pissing. I mean, I believe it. Florida is one of those places where the majority don't vote simply because they aren't legally allowed to with the felony record and all. I guess the bigger thing that this gas station should do is just require you purchase one lotto ticket and a pack of swisshers sweets if you want to reheat anything you're bringing from outside the store. I tell you what, that'll stop the microwave abuse, thems for sure. Well, maybe. I'm not 100% sure on that, but hey, Florida... You keep being you. We'll keep trying to avoid going to you and send in Hurricane relief every now and then to help you when one slams against you.

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