Saturday, November 3, 2018



I buried a cat next to the spot I buried a cat almost a decade ago because they liked each other and had kittens. I know that shit is for me and me alone. I'm sure the cats don't care about that and I'm not entirely sure that there is some sort of after life where they are chilling and what not. But I do that for myself.

We do a lot of other stuff like that in death for ourselves. That's perfectly fine. It's not the one that passed away that is mourning. They are gone, Where to? I have no clue. I have pondered that for a long time and well, I still don't have a solid belief in an afterlife. I feel like the time here is the time here. If I changed my mind on that, then my time here would not be as special. It would be a warm up and honestly, I live better and more full of a life thinking that this is the only go around we got.

But back to doing things to help yourself. I have another cat that when they pass, who knows when, I will bury him next to the female cat mentioned above because to him, that was his momma. I found him in the same area that the others are buried and he was so close to death then. But I brought him in, nursed him to health. Well, more so the momma did. She was always  a motherly cat and she took care of that little white fluff like it was her own. He grew up with her in mind as his mom and he loved her very very much. They would always be sleeping in the same ball together. So it only seems fitting to do that sort of thing for the little fella. To let his next forever home be one where his life was here - next to Helena, his momma.

I don't know how crazy I am for thinking like that. Maybe it's just a reaction to the whole situation. I don't really know for sure. I do know that we are only as good as how we treat others. Both in life and in death. So I guess there's that notion of respecting a life lived by not just throwing away their remains in the trash or something. Something special to honor that memory, that time you had with them.

Yeah, I'm sure I'm rambling and of course, realizing that writing isn't done in the part where you type out all your thoughts but in the editing process to weed out all the random nonsense. I'm sure this post had a lot of random nonsense. Oh well. Not like this blog was about readership! But yeah, I guess I just don't even know where to go with this stream of thoughts.

Day of the Dead just passed us by and I guess a lot of honoring and remembering those who came before us, who left before us. Who made their mark... well, it was just in my head, that's all.

edit: I wrote this before Fred passed. I mean, geez, I didn't really think he was going to die so soon. but yeah. ugh. 

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