Saturday, December 13, 2008

You Dropped The Bomb On Me..

You Dropped The Bomb On Me..

I live for this sort of shit. This is the stuff that if I'm in a thrift store or looking through an elderly persons tossed out papers that my eyes open up with glee. Christmas aint' got shit on this sort of stuff. Here it is in all its glory. The fine folks who would later on allow gay marriage and not pass a prop to oppose it were well aware of the threat of a nuke. With this easy guide you too can survive a blast with only slight headaches and melted body parts.

step 1: you're fucked

I love it when massive gamma irradiation turns my DNA into spaghetti so all my cells can commit suicide.

Along with this video and it floods my mind with potentials behind this whole fear mongering of the 50's during the nuclear scare.

I laugh a little when the family in the film hides under the blanket. What do you do when YOU see the flash of an atomic bomb? Your answer is Nothing because you're already a fried corpse. But according to the fine folks at the "Federal Civil Defense Administration" you simply duck and cover and you will be safe from this new danger. While you have your head down there you might as well kiss your ass goodbye.


It's easy to see why people were so worried about nuclear war in the 50's. It's video likes these that had people in a constant state of fear. To add further to this, the public service announcements were an attempt to assuage the fears of the Average American Citizen but at the same time - because the government just couldn't help itself - they had to make out like Commie villains were going to rape their corpses in their beds. AT ANY TIME.

Here's the question I have. Did the Russians have their own corny version of stop and get down or did they just tell their citizens "yeah you're fucked"

Most of the devastation radius is not due to thermal or blast effects (which will flat out kill you) but due to fall out. The most dangerous part of the explosion is after the mushroom cloud falls to the earth and the idea is to minimize exposure to that. I think the following steps are the only thing you can really do that would be productive.

1. put your head between your legs
2. kiss your ass goodbye

If I survive a nuclear holocaust (doubtful, I live 15 minutes from a nuclear sub station) the only decision I'll need to make is which gun to put in my mouth. Probably go with the shotgun, Hemingway had class.

Then again, here's more of that sort of dry run fear inducing action

People carrying their belongings in subway station used as an air raid shelter in the city.

Eugene Mott and family climbing down stairs to the cellar for practice air raid drill -- parents adjusting their children to abnormal conditions in wartime.

Family of 6 holding atomic war drill, sitting in small, enclosed downstairs hallway w. pet dog, 1st aid kit & radio, place they thought safest in house to ride out nuclear attack.

A demonstration of the proper way to keep dogs safe during an air raid, keeping them secured to the sturdiest objects available.

P.S. I was going to title this Nuking the Fridge but that would have me remember the Latest Indiana Jones film. So I went with an infectious song. I'm not going to defend the title of this one. I'll fully admit it, I got the song stuck in my head. It's Saturday night. I got me the Saturday night (one man) party pit going. Now in explaining that, I'm sure the song is now embedded into your skull.

Pretty scary science. Yes, that's right. Science. It's all part of discovering something new. It's really very alarming how many times we have been very close to being eliminated. Hell, in Los Alamos they actually played a game of chicken with uranium, poking two lumps of it closer to each other with screwdrivers, looking to see who would dare to push it closest to near critical mass.

good times

Then again, it was a necessary criticality experiment that they called 'tickling the dragon's tail' so they would know the limits as well as just accidentally screw things up killing Loius Slotin.

Care to find out more about these sort of wacky fallout plans? Take a look at this one

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