Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 In Review: The Shit List

2008 In Review: The Shit List

2008 was a year that started with a 2 and ended with 8. What many don't realize is that there was far more zeros between the 2 and 8 than previously thought were there. Yes, 2008 had a lot of zeros and losers in the mix. life's too short for hate but goddamn if there aren't a good number of things worth hating in this world. This list is just some of the top ones I can think of before I drink myself into a stupor.

The Detroit Lions: 0-16. At least those football players have a decent car factory to go work at... oh wait. never mind that.

The Chinese Olympic gymnastics team - While they wont the gold, they definitely weren't older than 16

John McCain - Completely sold out on every principle he ever stood for, and he loses anyway

Sarah Palin - While she brought us comedy, it was not worth dealing with hearing about daughter Bristol and her boyfriend Levi. Let's hope that she never leaves Alaska again

Vladimir Putin - Attacking Georgia? DICK MOVE! Oh wait, not OUR Georgia? Ok, carry on. I was worried about the Braves there.

Bill Kristol - Literally wrong on just about anything and everything

Katy Perry - I cant decide if katy perry is antifeminist or pro-feminist, but leaning towards the anti side because even if she's being "ironic" with painting homosexuality as a naughty thing that good girls don't do but see i'm naughty sometimes I hope my boyfriend doesn't mind, i don't think that's how its interpreted. Maybe Katy Perry is 4th wave postfeminist patriarchal bullshit

Robert Mugabe - 89,700,000,000,000,000,000,000% inflation in 2008

Mikheil Shaakashvili - Provoked Russia and really, in mother Russia, Russia needs to provoke you.

Kwame Kilpatrick - As if Detroit wasn't enough of a laughingstock already.

Rod Blagojevich - Chicago Politics at its finest. Let me remind you, we got a President out of this place. This dude has brass balls.

Mormons - For Prop 8 and converting dead Jews

Joe the plumber - I hate this tool bag soooooo much

Lebron James - For making pro sports an even bigger joke

The Wire - For ending kinda crappy

The Shield - For play with my emotions

Republican Party - For knowing they were going to lose and doing it as gracefully as could be expected.

Time Magazine nailed both the best and worse person of the year... YOU!

Wall Street Investment bankers - all of them

George Lucas - For Indiana Jones and Nukes.. a combination that works by themselves, but not with each other

Steven Spielberg - Putting Aliens into Indiana Jones... and that Shila kid..

Rick Astley - As if it wasn't clear enough. Fuck you for that song.

George W. Bush - For doing absolutely NOTHING! Normally that wouldn't be a reason to be on a list. But in this case the leader of our nation should do something! ANYTHING!
The 25% or whatever that still support bush - Seriously, why do you support him? That's like getting a bra for an A cup. No support needed!

And as always, the state of Mississippi. Why I don't know, but they always belong on a "worst of" list.

I can already tell you I see someone making the list for 2009......

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