This Site Under Construction - Tearing Down Geocities
When I was a younger lad I was a computer geek. I would be fucking around on the computer by age 11-12. Sure, most of that was just me playing video games and being completely giddy that I had access to a 425mb hard drive. That was the day to praise the computer lords. I feel old now that you can fit that all on a flash drive you put into a simple digital camera.
Well Yahoo, you finally did it. You went ahead and killed Geocities. Oh, I'm sure no one even used Geocities anymore but back in the early days of the internet you would be hard pressed to find someone who didn't have a Geocities site. Sure, most of the time they only had the stupid construction animated gif and no other content, but it was home.
What am I saying, everything was shit. Unlike the modern day internet where everything is still shit, but only with a lot more spam. That and todays internet looks a lot nicer. Overhauled with a sleek design. It was like a J.J. Abrams film. Only with a lot more questions answered. Because shit, if you can find DragonballZ fanfiction, you should be able to find any answeron the internet.
It was like a requirement that if you had a GeoCities account it had to look like total and absolute ass 100% of the time. Perhaps it's about time that GeoCities finally bit the dust. It was the boil on the ass of the internet since the mid 90's and it's finally dead. We need some funeral march midis all up in this sumbitch.
Though maybe I need to mourn the loss. Aww, there goes all 15 websites I made in middle school... What will ever happen to my guestbook that I begged everyone to sign. It was a method to show how much of an e-penis you had to show off how many different guest were at your Salior Moonfan page.
My embarrassing past will be buried in the depths of the internet forever. Thank heavens. It's alright though. I'm sure crappy web page design lives on with Myspace. All we can do is hope that people continue to use customization options distastefully.
I know what you're thinking, Midis seem so hilarious now but they were the soundtrack to my childhood. I remember the first time I heard an actual MP3 I flipped my shit. For all my computer life prior to that I just heard terrible Midis of popular songs. With only a couple of mbs per song, how could you turn them down?
WELCOME 2 MAGNUS1_E'S AWESOME SITE FOR STONERS
NO COPS ALLOWED U HAVE TO TURN BACK NOW BY LAW
ANY ROMZ YOU DOWNLOAD MUST BE DELETED W/IN 24HRS
CLICK >HERE<>HERE< style="cursor: pointer; width: 532px; height: 24px;" src="http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/5756/bloodbare0k.gif" alt="" border="0">
Why the fuck they would always redirect you to Disney.com when you didn't accept the terms of the site or the warning of the website, I do not know. Actually I do. It's cause Disney was a safe place. Something that you don't normally find on the internet anymore. Everywhere is just about as not work safe as you can possibly find.
I'm sure I'm going to date myself but who remembers the first time you found out Hypermart offered 25mb of space and subdomain for free? I do, and it seems like archive.org did a better job of archiving Hypermart sites than it did with GeoCities. Of course, GeoCities made me live in a neighborhood or something stupid, something I'll never forgive them for.
WELCOME TO MY FAMILY WEBPAGE
Maybe it was time to grow up. It's bizarre to think that there are people out there still making webpages with Angelfire and Tripod. I mean, just saying the word "Lycos" makes me laugh. I also laugh at how many angsty gothic teenage poems that are gone forever now. Time to grow up for all those things. Remember the dancing baby?
Um, yeah. Speaking of the dancing baby. What the fuck was up with that? I never understood the "hilarity" of the dancing baby then or now. I never understood the "hilarity" of Ally McBeal either but that's the 90's for you. People insisted that I watched them both as I would someday maybe "get it". I still doubt I will ever understand it. That and the Hamster dance. It may not piss me off as much but it sure as hell belongs in a museum.
So with that, perhaps we should have a moment of silence for Geocities. You made a fool out of us all letting us think that we were ever capable of creating a website. Let alone think that anyone would care to look at our creations. I mean, shit. Look at me right now. Typing this out like anyone is going to read it and care about my daily rantings.
DAMN YOU, GEOCITIES! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
So with that, CLICK ON THE WIZARD TO SEND A MAIL TO US!!!!!!!!!