Your Diet Ends Now

Your Diet Ends Now

You've made it almost an entire month on the new and improved you. Yes, you worked hard and stood on that diet to keep those new years resolutions down. But I have to say, all that ends now!



I mean.. what the fuck? Really? Why would you do that to yourself? Especially when it could potentially kill you!

A 15-year-old male and a 16-year-old female were found dead inside a vacant Surf City apartment on Friday.

Along with them? An empty can of Four Loko, the famed caffeine-spiked alcoholic beverage blamed for several deaths across the country and banned in several states.

Last fall, the Chicago-based makers of Four Loko agreed to stop adding caffeine to the drink to comply with FDA regulators who declared the stuff was unsafe.

Thought it's been dubbed "Blackout in a Can" with 12-percent alcohol, it's tough to believe that just one of these suckers could cause the death of two teenagers. Officers found other indications of drug and alcohol use in the apartment, but no specifics were given as the investigation is still ongoing.

But really. I would say that if you're not dead, then it's at least the death of your resolution for better health. And if you are dead. Well then, you really don't have to worry about any other new years resolution from now on.

But maybe that was a bit gross and didn't actually tempt you in any way to break those promises you made to yourself on that hungover January 1st. Perhaps seeing how they make some delicious looking pastries will finally kill it.



Yup.. the diet is now officially off!

The Revolution Was Televised

The Revolution Is Being Televised

I have to admit that when I read the tag line "Egypt shuts down the internet" yesterday, I had a good chuckle. But sure enough, that's what they did. They banned the entire internet from what I understand. So if you wanted to put down your pictures of Chairman Mao (as if they would have helped anyhow).. You can tune into see a revolution... oooh yeah on Al Jazeera.



In case you're just joining us, here's what has happened so far. The people have had enough and dictator Mubarak was steadily being destroyed for 24 hours. The people were happy to have soldiers enter the cities to take control away from the police. Mainly because the police were shooting people left and right for whatever reason they wanted. Oh yeah.. and they were reportedly looting.

You would think that an Army coming into town would be something to be worried about but not in this case, apparently. It seems that the attitude towards the army here is that they're just chilling with them. Again, sort of similar to Tunisia.



Basically now the middle east is full of Marxists. But none of this really matters to your average American who thinks the leader of the Egyptian government is Dwayne Johnson from The Scorpion King.

I'm sure you're probably wondering if the mummies are on fire.. To that I must say that only the bourgeoisie would think of the antiquities at a time of this. Besides that, we stole allt he mummies from Egypt a long time ago anyway.



Though I have to admit, I'm a bit jaded. At first I figured this was just some CIA backed coup, but then I got to thinking.. Man, this is one seriously fucked up shit for our foreign standing given Egypt is our biggest ally in our stupidity we call foreign affairs. Then Obama opened his mouth and sure enough, I lost any concept that this could have been some CIA coup.

But much like Tunisia, where the Tunisian workers basically seized the means of production and started running the country by workers councils, it looks like Egypt can be in store for a complete regimen change. And for those of you who don't know what's the proper things to do in a people's uprising, here's a manual...



I do wonder what the chances are that within the next few years that buying a spray can and safety glasses will automatically put you on homeland securities watch-list....

Oh wait, that's already happening.

Though, that's a bit silly. I mean.. why would you just spray them in the face with regular spray can when you could light that mother fucker on fire. For all of you who want to go the extra mile, here you go. Enjoy it while it's still up.



At this point I would like to welcome the federal government intern who is now a subscriber of this blog post because of the above link. I hope you enjoy reading this otherwise pointless blog. And before you pass judgment on me and label me a terrorist, I have to tell you what I told the police riot squad when I met them.. That I understand and I disagree with their position But I respect them as a human bein... Oh my fucking god, get that riot shield out of my eyes!

The U.S. is currently reviewing its $1.5 billion in aid to Egypt based on the events unfolding in the country, according to Reuters coming in the way of one of Obama's administration officials. That just makes me laugh. Has Obama been right about anything foreign policy related?



It has really gotten pretty pathetic how he tries to make it out as if he supported these protests all along.

But I guess it's better than what Joe Biden said:

JOE BIDEN: Look, Mubarak has been an ally of ours in a number of things and he's been very responsible on, relative to geopolitical interests in the region: Middle East peace efforts, the actions Egypt has taken relative to normalizing the relationship with Israel.

And I think that it would be -- I would not refer to him as a dictator.

It's pretty clear that Obama, Clinton and Biden are all looking awful defending Egypt right now. Obviously domestically among voters this isn't important though, because again, all they know of Egypt is how to walk like one.



I like to dream of a perfect world where they would be fucked now because they have to defend their Middle East policy but also somehow try to look pro-democracy in some shape or form. It's really quite amusing to go off into that little dream world.

As it stands, Hillary Clinton made some announcement on CNN saying a takeover wouldn't result in democracy. Al Jazeera was saying that Reuters reported that the U.S. "wants an orderly transition". Yeah, fuck every part of this administration that ran on a campaign of hope and change. Here's hoping Egypt's new government promptly drives Israel into the sea.



While here in the U.S. we're having the FBI raid internet nerds who did a DDoS attack on those who turned their backs on Wikileaks.

The FBI yesterday executed 40 search warrants around the US to gather evidence on the Anonymous distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks in defense of WikiLeaks last year—attacks which targeted Visa, MasterCard, PayPal, and Amazon. And when the FBI comes a-knockin', the whole house starts a rockin'.

Ars has seen posts from a private forum in which several targets of the FBI raids offer brief descriptions of the experience, along with the occasional photo of a beaten-in front door. We cannot guarantee the authenticity of these accounts, though we believe them to be genuine.

A note of context: "LOIC" here refers to the Low Orbit Ion Cannon, a software tool used in the Anonymous DDoS attacks that can flood a network connection with data.

I used LOIC during that whole Wikileaks fiasco. The FBI showed up at my door with a search warrant for any electronic devices that may have been used in the attack. That means any and all computers, unless I pointed out to them which one was used in the attack. I'm not retarded, I invoked my 5th amendment rights and didn't say anything so now they are taking everything. Yes, I'm f**king dumb. No, I didn't have time to thermite the hard drive. I'm worried that the FBI might stumble upon this site due to all the :filez: on my computer.

A second account showed a similar level of, err, enthusiasm on the part of the FBI.

6am, door busted down (NOT KIDDING), "FBI FBI FBI POLICE FBI GET YOUR ARMS UP AND DONT MOVE THEM. WALK DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW. DO NOT MOVE YOUR HANDS." --- TWO *REAL* GUNS POINTED AT ME.

me in 1 cop car, gf in other car.

took 3.5 hrs, all electronic devices taken including 3 computers. said nearly nothing. finally left.

In short, the shit is hitting the fan all over the place, but at least we still have a pretty sweet internet connection going on in America and aren't getting shot by police... as often.



To be honest though, I sort of hate anonymous. Not because of what they do. I actually agree with them, but because of how they act normally. Is this how it feels to see a successful revolution by an ideologically incorrect vanguard?

But then again, I'm comparing a group that hates Sceintology enough to walk around in silly Guy Fox mask to a country in civil unrest. Back to them, since that revolution is being televised.

Currently there's cars with loudspeakers driving around saying that foreign media is inciting violence. I have to say, that's a bold move America. You must desperately want Mubarak to stay in power.



I mean, it really was only a matter of time since Mubarak seems to have the military backing on his side currently. They're kicking out AJE and such. The US is already basically behind them. All he needs to do is hold on long enough to ensure a handover to someone America and Israel can "do business with"

The Egyptian authorities are revoking the Al Jazeera Network's license to broadcast from the country, and will be shutting down its bureau office in Cairo, state television has said.

"The information minister [Anas al-Fikki] ordered ... suspension of operations of Al Jazeera, canceling of its licenses and withdrawing accreditation to all its staff as of today," a statement on the official Mena news agency said on Sunday.

In a statement, Al Jazeera said it strongly denounces and condemns the closure of its bureau in Cairo by the Egyptian government. The network received notification from the Egyptian authorities on Sunday morning.

"Al Jazeera has received widespread global acclaim for their coverage on the ground across the length and breadth of Egypt," the statement said.

An Al Jazeera spokesman said that the company would continue its strong coverage regardless.

'Designed to stifle'

"Al Jazeera sees this as an act designed to stifle and repress the freedom of reporting by the network and its journalists," the statement said.

"In this time of deep turmoil and unrest in Egyptian society it is imperative that voices from all sides be heard; the closing of our bureau by the Egyptian government is aimed at censoring and silencing the voices of the Egyptian people.

"Al Jazeera assures its audiences in Egypt and across the world that it will continue its in-depth and comprehensive reporting on the events unfolding in Egypt.

"Al Jazeera journalists have brought unparallelled reporting from the ground from across Egypt in the face of great danger and extraordinary circumstances. Al Jazeera Network is appalled at this latest attack by the Egyptian regime to strike at its freedom to report independently on the unprecedented events in Egypt."

I'm guessing that this means that the crackdown will start soon. Now that they have a really solid excuse and method to systematically prevent reporting on what happens when it does.

Though I give Al Jazeera a lot of respect for not giving a fuck about any of this and going on with the reporting. You know, while our news outlets show the poll on what's tracking with their viewers..



Yup.. that's right. Fucking two and a half men is getting more coverage than Egypt. Fuck America...

Now enjoy these images from TOTALLY COOL PIX DOT COM

Not The Leak You Were Looking For

Not The Leak You Were Looking For

So it turns out that there's no link between Manning and Assange in terms of releasing government documents and secrets to wikileaks...

U.S. military officials tell NBC News that investigators have been unable to make any direct connection between a jailed army private suspected with leaking secret documents and Julian Assange, founder of the whistleblowing website WikiLeaks.

The officials say that while investigators have determined that Manning had allegedly unlawfully downloaded tens of thousands of documents onto his own computer and passed them to an unauthorized person, there is apparently no evidence he passed the files directly to Assange, or had any direct contact with the controversial WikiLeaks figure.

So at this point I wonder if anyone can explain to me why some evidence hasn't been carefully.. or hell, in the case of our government poorly planted into one of Assange's e-mail accounts to just make it look like we aren't holding and torturing a man for no reason.

Maybe it's just that Obama doesn't want to charge Assange but doesn't want to look weak, so he just shrugs his shoulders and says sorry we couldn't find anything? Except he wanted to fire Eric Holder because he doesn't want to pursue Assange as a terrorist. But hey, Manning is still being tortured and, oh yeah.. this:

As they have done several times before, Jane Hamsher today drove David House to visit Bradley Manning at the Quantico brig -- this time, as they announced ahead of time, House intended to deliver to brig officials a petition relating to Manning's detention conditions which has been signed by 42,000 people (only House is on the approved visitors list, so Hamsher typically drops him off, waits at a base McDonald's nearby (as she's been instructed to do), and then picks House up once his visit is done). Today, they went to the brig and House attempted to enter, the same way as always, but, as of 1:45 2:15 pm EST, both of them have been detained for 45 minutes 1 hour and 20 minutes, and told that they are not permitted to leave or else they will be arrested. They have now been told -- without explanation -- that they are not permitted to enter, and Hamsher's car is being towed off the brig's property and impounded.

The claim is that Hamsher has only electronic rather than prnted proof of car insurance -- the same proof she's had every other time she brought House there, though without a petition -- and they have thus impounded her car. They also, though, are refusing -- without any explanation -- to let House visit Manning despite his being on the approved visitor list. So much for Manning's once-a-week reprieve from solitary confinement.

It's pretty funny since Globalresearch.ca or some place like that said that Assange was a gay Mossad agent and Manning was his lover before that proved to be unpopular with focus groups and he was just rebranded.

Though I guess none of this really matters. Proof is irrelevant and unnecessary. Whatever the powers that be want to happen to Assange will happen. At which many of you would wonder why do they have to keep torturing people. To that I ask why do fish have to swim or birds have to fly? Empire creates pain and misery, it is integral to its being.

I guess the real question is if anyone actually cares about Manning, let alone Assange anymore. Those are old news cycles so who cares till it's another slow news day or TSA starts groping people of noteworthiness enough to warrant that to be brought up in the news again.

J.D. Salinger is Dead

J.D. Salinger is Dead

Today is the anniversary of J.D. Salinger's death. It's not like we're going to miss him much. I mean, it's not like he was much of a public figure or anything.

Wrote Catcher in the Rye and then sunk away to living a life in seclusion. Not much really to say about it after that. But man, has it been a year already? But man, is that not one of those popular books. I can't wait for another couple of decades before we start censoring shit out of that book.

The part where he hires a hooker but chickens out and just wants to talk to her.. Man, that sure was... stupid. Hookers aren't good at talking. If they were they wouldn't keep putting things in there to shut them up...

I have to admit that I found the book to be boring and fairly stupid. Though you'd always find it on people's list as their favorite book because it's one of three books they remember reading over the course of their life. The other two being Fountainhead and Goodnight Moon.

Ha, just kidding. Like anyone actually reads Fountainhead that isn't a hardcore republican.

More than likely the Great Gatsby and To Kill a Mockingbird are the favorite books for people who have not read books. Plug in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance if they're trying extra hard to be deep and meaningful.

I do admit that To Kill a Mockingbird is a pretty good book for kids to read. Atticus is a cool dad and all old and full of wisdom and shit. You want my critique of the book? It's 2 ill a mockingbird.



Maybe the appeal of Catcher is that people generally identify with a self centered protagonist who's projecting to the reader his first sampling of existential angst.

It's probably a much different book when one realizes that the reason I didn't like it in high school was that I was the exact kind of shitty whiny bitch Holden Caulfield is. Then again, that's every teenager ever. Though I was a bit self aware of what exactly I was... a complete and total shitty brat.

Maybe I'm not giving it enough credit. Perhaps I wouldn't think it's much shit if I try reading it again now that I'm older and it's not something close to home. Though maybe Catcher in the Rye is a book we only read because our parents liked it. You just watch, our children will study the works of Twilight and Harry Potter as if it was some sort of mystical new venture into mythology.

Or maybe you were simply never assigned Catcher in the Rye in school. Maybe you were assigned The Scarlet Letter. Let me get you in on a secret... that was complete shit as well. Want an example of how that's not a great read as a teen? Rent Easy A. It's the 10 Things I hate About You of classic works redone to film without all the Heath Ledger overdosing shit.

Either way, if you liked that book perhaps you should just kill John Lennon and then kill yourself.

Now That's Just Indecent!

Now That's Just Indecent!

A bit ago magazine super model Stephanie Seymour and her son were taken pictures of in a much creepy fashion. Considering it's a slow news day for me and I'm so tired of being let down by Obama, I'm just going to post about this TMZ level of news..



This is Stephanie Seymour. She's a super model. She's fairly attractive and the bathing suit isn't hurting any. But appparently super model Stephanie Seymour has a strange relationship with her son..









But hey, it's cool, dawg. For you see, her son is gay and is clearly getting no enjoyment out of any of the titillating skin tone bikini action you see above.



Wait.. what the hell. Um, buddy. Don't you know you're suppose to be like a turtle when it comes to cold water? But hey, all this could be just some good ol' fashion horse playing and embracing. Clearly there's nothing that could be too sexualized on its own, right?.....



Welp, I give up. Where's social services?

The State of the Union

The State of the Union

It's fucked. Ha! Just kidding. That's not what Obama said. Though I wish he did. But it's not like anything Obama said came as much of a surprise. You see, much earlier in the day a draft of Barack Obama's state of the union speech was leaked out and I was most excited to hear the reaction to the following proposed idea by our President...

I will impose a 5 year federal spending freeze

A spending freeze.. yeah, let's just turn that knife. Perhaps I just wanted to hear something so out of the norm by Obama. Something like

"We will create a bomb that can destroy the moon by the end of this decade, not because it is easy but because it is hard"

Then I would look at the state of the union and realize that at least things could be a lot worse. As it stand, I'm pretty sure that rising corporate profits will probably not keep millions of Americans from losing their houses. It really makes you just sort of sad to see such a reform president getting totally worked over by corporate interest.

But sure enough, he's going to try to freeze the budget.. You know, exempting military and "security" spending from the freeze, of course all in the name to satisfy the right. At the same time proposing new infrastructure spending in a hapless attempt to satisfy the left. I'm fairly certain that we'll be tired of the term "budget-neutral" by 2012.

I guess we saw it coming though. After the $700 billion bailout, the trillion-dollar stimulus, and the massive budget bill with over 9,000 earmarks that the President signed, many of you implored Washington to please stop spending money we don't have.

All throughout the speech I was waiting for Boehner to start crying. I'm surprised that his fake orange tan doesn't smear when he cries for any little thing. Though the only time it seemed like he was going to tear up was when he got a hand job from Obama at the beginning. So there went my hope that he was going tobe like a blubbering baby throughout the entire thing with tears streaming down his face.

Can I also point out that standing ovations really lose their value if you do them every minute. I'm sure everyone thinks that America should be the best place on earth, even at the expense of raping the workers for profits. CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP

"The entire thing was so full of shit. Why yes, let's encourage innovation.. "

*makes college steadily less affordable*

"We need to invest in research like never before!!"

*cuts funding to all science programs and cancels NASA programs*

And Facebook being mentioned in the state of the union? Really? Is Facebook the great American accomplishment?

Barack Obama > Good speech huh?

_{Joe Biden likes this
John Boehner *sob*}

Yes, clearly the Vodka bottle was not enough to get me through it. I needed more. Oh so much more.

This was all before he went on about ending corporate subsidization of oil. Yeah, that made me laugh. Here I thought all this reaching across party lines was to ensure that he got re-elected. If you're going to go after oil subsidies you're going to face the fact that you'll be a one-term president.



Then Obama got on with what seemed like the subject that took the chunk of attention in the State of the Union - Education. I'm not sure if it was because there was a bunch of school kids in the audience that were invited, but he really hammered home that kids should be encouraged to go to college and that adults who don't have a college degree should go back in order to set a good example.

Who the fuck has the money to get a university degree just to inspire their damn kids? How out of touch is this shit with 10% unemployment going on? To be fair now, America's school system is so terrible these days that finishing high school is arguably a step in the wrong direction.

Obama went so far as to suggest that we should treat science fair winners with the same enthusiasm as the winners of the Super Bowl. Yeah, how convenient that he stopped caring about football once the Chicago Bears got eliminated.

But hey, maybe now I'll be super excited for all the science fair winners to go and meet the president. Because I can tell you as a former winner of a science fair, good luck with getting anyone to give a shit. But I can't believe that he really said Superbowl and science fair in the same sentence. I mean, the only thing that I could think the Superbowl and a science fair have in common is.. The Jets aint shit.

But at what point in all this State of the Union ramblings did he cover how we're going to make jobs for the people unemployed NOW. I mean, forget the kids. The kids could wait. Focus on that 10% unemployment now!

Obama called for more teachers.. Yeah... become a teacher, and enjoy your benefits, salary ...uh... students. I hope you like making no money at all and having constant critiquing of your teaching tactics. Go right ahead and become a teacher and graduate with massive loans, find there are no jobs currently out there and die alone.

I know well enough about teaching that "race to the top" is a pretty terrible program and the applause that came about after it was mentioned was horrible.

I mean, did you hear the response on when he suggested that more people become teachers? There was a massive amount of clapping going on for the call in treating teachers with respect. These same claps are being produced by those who so easily slash education funding.

As if 100,000 new teachers with non-competitive salaries and one year contracts sounds like a good thing. I'm seriously not going to become a teacher when my city is considering cutting 9,600 school positions. But then again, who can turn down being a teacher? You make 1/10 of what you could in the private sector.

But yeah. Obama sure made a poignant statement on unemployment tonight.... oh wait. Yeeeeeaaaaaahhh..... I think the only thing that he even suggested in helping the economy in unemployment was getting China, South Korea and India to export more goods from us.



But I have an important question about that for the President. Why would any corporation hire Americans under any circumstances in a globalized world? And I don't mean set up shop. I understand that. But why would anyone Hire Americans at all?

I think the real entertainment happened after the speech. With both Paul Ryan AND Michelle Bachmann issuing rebuttals to Obama's speech. Yes, you heard that right. The right is doing TWO rebuttals.

Bachmann is doing the tea party rebuttal. As if the republicans aren't pissed enough that they're splitting the party enough. Where is the green party rebuttal or the socialist party rebuttal? How the hell is the tea party legitimate enough to have their own address. It's like congress, except instead of senators it's old fat white people in scooters purchased by medicare (Socialism!)



Apparently Bachmann literally looked at the NBC camera through the entire speech instead of the CNN camera. The NBC camera was set up for the post-speech interview. Brain Williams greeted her after on NBC by saying "Thank you for finding your way to our camera".

If this wasn't proof that Bachmann's just plain crazy and that's really what made this post speech rebuttal entertaining, then you're probably not familiar with her. If you're not familiar with her ramblings, here's Anderson Cooper, tearing her apart on her claim that the Founding Father's eliminated slavery.



I guess the real question I have is how anyone in the right is going to rebute Obama adopting their own policies. But apparently that was some sort of CNN exclusive.

To be honest, I just cannot imagine why anyone would watch CNN or any cable news channel anymore. Even if you're watching it ironically, you're seriously bat shit insane or just really like suffering. If you think MSNBC is better than Fox News you're crazy. CNN has to be arguably the worst because they've managed to convince people that it's the "neutral" station. Neutral in this country is somewhere right of Reagan.

It doesn't change the fact that after watching this spewing of political nonsense I wanted to cut to a picture of Krusty the Clown asking What the Hell was that?! My soul felt empty after dealing with that much crushing reality that the true answer to what the state of our union really is "Completely and utterly fucked"

But hey, let's take a look to what reaction to the speech by Obama was from NPR listeners..



"Optimistic" "inspirin" What the hell? Did they listen to the same speech I did? I do like that Salmon is in large bold letters. I am left with the knowledge now that Salmon in water is monitored by a different government agency than water on my plate. Though I'm still not sure which agency overlooks Smoked Salmon on a cream cheese covered bagel with some sliced red onions.

Chicago Corruption: Mayor Edition

Chicago Corruption: Mayor Edition

You know the old saying of live by the sword, die by the sword? Welp, it looks like there's a pretty comical news story developing right now in Chicago and it looks like your new Chicago mayor will NOT be Rahm Emmanuel

DEVELOPING: The Chicago News Cooperative is reporting that an Illinois Appellate Court has overturned a decision regarding Rahm Emanuel's Chicago residency. The court reportedly decided Emanuel is not eligible to run for mayor of Chicago because he has not been a resident of the city for one year.

Legally speaking, he was in a very strong position and this is seriously unfortunate and funny as all fuck. HA HA HA HA! The funny shit is that he's already bought all his ads for TV/Radio. So oh man, he's pretty much fucked. It makes you wonder who paid off the courts to make sure that it was opposed. Though maybe the supreme court will make him eligible.

I'm sure some of you are thinking that this court decision is insane. That it's silly to calling into question his residency requirements but guess what, that's Chicago politics. Corrupt as a mother fucker.

Because it's no secret that the Cook County judges are horribly corrupt. Just like any other political position in Chicago. There's credible rumors that powerful, brazenly corrupt machine pol and current county Assessor Joe Berrios, as well as Illinois speaker of the house Mike Madigan himself are sponsoring the legal challenge. And that the most powerful alderman, Ed Burke, openly hates Emanuel.

So essentially corrupt Chicago politician is being held up by another corrupt Chicago political backroom deal. You have to love the irony in all that. I'm sort of glad for the dirty machine politics for once if it keeps Emanuel out of office. But let's be serious here, does anyone really believe that this will stop him from attempting to be mayor?

While he may not be on the ballot, I'm not sure if won a write in campaign. So today's ruling actually stops him from taking the seat if people do right his name in.

Rahm is such a piece of shit. He's such a narcissistic asshole neoliberal with an unmanageable ego. So it makes me so glad to hear that even though he was holding a 64% lead on the 22nd, that they're printing the ballots without his name. It's such a big FUCK YOU that I can't help but be proud of America every once in a while. It really is the funniest shit to happen in politics in awhile. Whichever activist judges made this possible, I want to thank you.

On another note. Today is the President's state of the union address. If you want a sneak preview at what the state of the union is, I'll tell you. It's fucked.

Boob Covers

Boob Covers

Oh my, we're at the half way mark for January. You know what that means - You need to start fucking thinking about Valentine's Day.

That's right.. I said it. Valentine's Day. The day that capitalism won over the power of love. They got that taste of your money just a little less than a month ago and they can't go cold turkey. So we have the wonderful day of Valentine's death to celebrate by showing your loved ones that you actually love them.

Wait, scratch that. You don't have to play along if you're a female. You get to enjoy this ride free of charge. But really, I still have not figured out why it's important to show your loved one you care on a day when a man was beheaded.. but you know what, that's stuff for another blog post. I mean, I can at least be happy that I'm not a bad boyfriend...



Nope, I don't put them through any of that. But I can't say I'm entirely innocent either. You see, I ended up getting that special gal these a bit back....



I know what you're thinking.. What the fuck?! How could you do that to the cleavage? Hiding it away. That's like putting candy in a box. Wait, well it is sort of eye candy, right. So it pretty much is like a mystery box of chocolate. You don't know what you'll get.

No wait, that analogy fails as well. Boobs are boobs. But covering them up just seems like you're doing something wrong. Isn't that right, parody of that As-seen-on-tv product!



See. Now that's funny. But hey, it's not like you need to show cleavage off at work anyway. Not unless you want to get advances from your creepy boss. Besides that, there's something classy about a lacy cover slip.

And for your information, the reason I picked this topic for today is that it's the Anniversary of beer cans being invented.

Beer cans have come a long way since January 24, 1935, when Krueger introduced its Special Beer and Cream Ale in steel cans. As the largest supplier of beer cans in the world, Ball Corporation has played a key role in the evolution of the beer can, one of the most widely used and sustainable beverage packages on the market today.

And really, what better to talk about than cans on a day of cans... and absurd products.

Keep The Mammoths Extinct

Keep The Mammoths Extinct

In a shocking turn of events, it seems that man is going to reverse the extinction of an animal instead of causing it.

The woolly mammoth, extinct for thousands of years, could be brought back to life in as little as four years thanks to a breakthrough in cloning technology.

source

To quote a man who I almost ran over as he jay walked over near 3rd and Farfax,

"your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

I guess the first question is not if we can but if we should. And the answer to if we should bring back the woolly mammoth, the answer is an unequivocal YES! Yes we should!

I mean, this will be good. Don't you remember all those other times man introduced a species into another ecosystem that wasn't familiar to them and how that worked out? Oh wai... Then again, the chances of them introducing it to any sort of ecosystem that isn't some lab or a very rich zoo is very slim.

What did you think? That they'll just let it roam free in the country side. Run free, Willy the Woolly! Where's the profits to be made from that? Science is a total bitch to capitalism. It does what the free market tells it to.

I guess the difference here is that unlike in Jurassic Park, where the Jeff Goldblum character attacks the titular park since nature selected dinos for extinction, mammoths were hunted to extinction by humans. So it's only fitting that we bring them back and I wish their quest for revenge to be a successful one.



It's probably the first step in cleaning up our own mess. Especially since there's not much of an ethical qualm about essentially recreating a species of animal life for the express purpose of incarcerating it for the entertainment of bourgeois tourists.

Which leads me to wonder... I bet these mofo's will be delicious. Since the rich will be the ones who fund most of these ventures into cloning, they'd have their say as to what they're going to do with them. There's no other adventurous eaters than the rich. They sneak stinky cheese into America in baby diapers for fucks sakes.....

So it looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

I mean, don't lie. The moment you read that news piece I bet the inner you was wondering how it would taste. How can you think of anything other than all the mammoth burgers that one would make. I can see it now - McMammoth.

Let's just hope that science reaches that point were it returns the world to the point before humans killing all the awesome animals. Though that won't happen. But I guess I'll take what I can get.

My last comment on this is that if I was a scientist, I'd probably not focus on the animals like this and look to recreating animals from warmer periods in the attempt to keep them alive and thriving. I believe the Jurassic period was fairly warm. We should make some clones of those animals.

1st Floor, Coming Up!

1st Floor, Coming Up!

Something happened while all the news reporters were on vacation for the holidays. Yes, you see this man?



He's not going to be standing on that for long. Nope, why hey, where's the stairs or elevator? Never mind, I got it...



I mentioned before that folks in other countries have a much better sense of how to conduct a protest than us. Well, last week was a pretty good example of all this..



Yeah.. that guy just let himself drop....



Yeah. I really want to see someone do this during one of McCaine's mindless rambles.



Just goes to show you how much of a pussy our protesters are. They lack the umpth needed to fully get the attention of the masses. Yup.

500 Days of Capitalism

500 Days of Capitalism

I was going to go with Capitalism: A Love Story, but that's been used and you'd probably think I was just talking about a Michael Moore film.

But you see, we owe a lot to capitalism. It's literally the best thing possible! Never mind what the poor people starving in the cold winter weather have to say about it. Capitalism - Literally the cause of everything awesome in life...



I mean, I keep shoving money into my baby's mouth but it keeps crying. What the fuck, Capitalism. Maybe I should just take it to the store. I hear that food is very abundant there thanks to the wonderful nature of capitalism.

But don't you see!? Literally everything in this video is true. The capitalist mode of production is wonderful, but it has inherent contradictions which must be resolved by executing that narrator.

CapitalismIsLife posted a video "Capitalism = Longer Life" which proves that capitalism only cares about perpetuating itself. Look, look, I just made a big sloppy mess all of your argument. Keep the change.

Don't you realize that without capitalism, that baby wouldn't live a better life than babies of color. Indeed, this is in the proper location on Youtube as marked by the whole EDUCATION. Though I do have to say that they're actually sort of right. The socialist in me hates to admit it, but maybe they're on to something here..

Here is the current life expectancy in nations where capitalism has significant presence (abbreviated list)
82 -- Australia
78 -- United States
82 -- Japan
81 -- Israel
80 -- Italy

Current life expectancy in nations where capitalism has only modest presence (abbreviated list)
71 -- Philippines
66 -- Russia
70 -- Honduras
65 -- Pakistan
59 -- Senegal

Current life expectancy in nations where capitalism has little or no presence (abbreviated list)
30 -- Haiti
47 -- Nigeria
45 -- Afghanistan
40 -- Zimbabwe
64 -- North Korea



You see, Capitalism ended this nightmare of a short life for Western Europeans. In a historical blink of an eye, it virtually wiped out poverty, countless diseases, hunger, child mortality, human misery and the need for child labor. It also ushered in, for hundreds of millions of people, unprecedented levels of wealth, health, and abundance. Life expectancy in Western Europe, as a result, more than doubled to at least the age of 75.

Though, I'm pretty sure governments were responsible for most of those things. By instituting national healthcare systems and labor laws. Capitalism is like that guy who runs a pyramid scheme. For the majority of the time you trusted him things were going very well and you thought his system worked out perfectly. That is until your investment drops rises drops drastically because of him yet you continue to do as he asks of you because you are told things will get better if you just hold out while still supporting him.. then bam!

I would also like to take a moment to point out that longer doesn't necessarily mean better. If anything, capitalism can be summed up with the opening to Soylant Green...

In communism you would get to own everything! Capitalism is like the last 3 weeks of summer when its rainy out and maybe your friends are out of town and you're bored and you wish school would just start already.

Just in case that you want to have a further discussion of how capitalism was a tremendous improvement over feudalism, please refer to the works of Karl Marx. Just don't fear, the more they talk about capitalism, the further we will slide back into feudalism.
Capitalism is basically an improvement on feudalism and has coincided with growth. Marx wrote about this, as bizzarofry pointed out. This doesn't mean it's the only system that could have accomplished that growth or that we should continue on with it. I mean, if we do stick with it we end up with more of this sort of shit.



So I guess the question is how much you value your ability to buy whatever you want and most of all, are you one of the upper crust who actually can live out your dreams of capitalistic involvement?

Facebook is Worth BILLIONS!

Facebook is Worth BILLIONS!

Why, didn't you know, Facebook is worth billions and billions according to Goldman Sachs. 50 Billion to be exact. You may be wondering, 50 billion for a website? How is that possible? I say, it's a pretty sweet bargain..

Can Goldman Sachs, the profit-seeking missile of high finance, really make money by investing $450 million in Facebook, at a vertigo-inducing price that values the social-networking company at $50 billion?

On first blush, the answer would appear to be no. After all, in May 2009, the company was valued at $10 billion. Last August, Facebook was valued at $27 billion and now it’s $50 billion — for a company with a reported $2 billion in revenue and negligible profits. If General Electric, with 2010 revenue of around $150 billion, traded at a similar multiple of revenue, it would be worth $3.75 trillion instead of $200 billion. Facebook is now considered to be worth more than Time Warner, DuPont and Goldman’s rival Morgan Stanley.

Just last week, Facebook’s shares were said to be trading on a private-market exchange at a valuation of $42.4 billion. Thanks to Goldman’s imprimatur, Facebook’s value increased 20 percent virtually overnight. Can Goldman really expect to squeeze more water from this stone?

Sadly, yes.

To understand why, we have to go to the heart of the many problems in the way the Wall Street cartel does business, despite the promised reforms of the Dodd-Frank law. With Goldman’s investment in Facebook, we have a front-row seat to the process by which Wall Street creates and inflates financial bubbles.

This bout of hysteria involves not only Facebook but other Internet companies including Twitter, the gaming site Zynga, the social buying site Groupon and LinkedIn, another social networking site. The valuation of these companies has soared in the past two years, leading some to worry that the American people bailed out Wall Street so that we could relive the Internet Bubble of 1999.

Despite the high price of its investment, Goldman sees in Facebook a business bonanza, a nearly perfect nugget of investment-banking opportunities. First, Goldman’s cost of capital is close to zero — as a bank holding company, it can borrow from the Federal Reserve at negligible interest rates — so any capital gain it makes on its venture in Facebook will be sheer profit. Second, Goldman has almost certainly locked up the role of lead manager of the inevitable Facebook initial public offering.

Fees for underwriting public offerings are generally about 7 percent of the value of the stock sold. Facebook could easily sell $2 billion of stock or more, generating fees to Goldman and the other underwriters of at least $140 million. The other benefit for Goldman in leading the public offering — aside from major bragging rights — is that it can use its marketing, sales and distribution muscle to make sure the value of Facebook at the time of the offering exceeds the $50 billion valuation at which Goldman invested.

Goldman has also won from Facebook the right to offer an additional $1.5 billion of the company’s stock to its private-wealth clients. According to The Times, Goldman will be creating a “special purpose vehicle” to sell the stock to its wealthy clients and then will charge them a 4 percent initial fee plus 5 percent of any profits. While on paper it seems that these high rollers would be foolish to invest in Facebook at such a lofty valuation, they will still most certainly feel increased loyalty to Goldman for making such an exclusive opportunity available to them. On top of it all, there is the increased likelihood that Goldman will get to manage a good portion of the $12 billion fortune belonging to Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s founder, for yet more fees.

If Goldman does take all these roles at once — investor, salesman, money manager, I.P.O. underwriter — it would certainly raise the ugly specter of conflicts of interest. But probably not to Goldman executives, who have always prided themselves on being able to “manage” through such situations. (In fairness, there’s likely no investment-banking firm on the planet that would not eagerly take Goldman’s place in this scheme, if offered the chance.)

Even though Facebook is reported to have little need for Goldman’s money, having Goldman validate Facebook’s exponential increase in value gives Mr. Zuckerberg the ultimate Silicon Valley street cred, far more than he got from having Hollywood make a movie about him or from becoming the youngest billionaire on the planet.

With all these winners, who will the losers be? The average investor, of course, who will get left holding the bag when, someday, Wall Street realizes the firm’s financial performance doesn’t live up to its hyped valuation.

I have to laugh at all this. I mean, were the fuck do they come up with this trash and why does everyone sit there and believe it? Oh yeah, because Americans have a twisted relationship with capital and think something is worth what someone is selling it for.

Isn't that a famous quote from Civilization 4. "Everything is worth what it's purchaser is willing to pay for it" - Leonard Nimoy. It's really the case here. I mean, someone should buy this blog. Last I checked whatever made up assessors they stated that it was worth 95 million dollars.

You really have to laugh at all this "Private investment" models of gauging the value of something. You also shouldn't expect facebook to go public for some time since they are getting money pumped into them through backdoor shit like this.



It's really amazing that they're so blatantly setting up yet another bubble. And to think that it took this news story to get the SCC to start investigating them.

Just see what they did to fuck themselves in the ass..

Interest in shares of Facebook Inc. is so strong that Goldman Sachs Group Inc. plans to stop soliciting interest from potential investors on Thursday, after the securities firm received orders of several billion dollars, according to people familiar with the situation.

"It's a blowout," one Goldman employee told an investor who has considered trying to buy Facebook shares on behalf of a client.

Since the deal emerged over the weekend, wealthy Goldman clients have been scrambling for a piece of the equity offering that could be worth as much as $1.5 billion. In addition, Goldman agreed to invest $500 million in Facebook along with Digital Sky Technologies of Russia.

Goldman is mostly gauging interest from wealthy, individual clients of the company and their representatives. A small number of institutional firms such as hedge funds and private-equity firms that do business with Goldman also have been invited to participate in the investment, people familiar with the matter said.

Goldman partners can get in on the deal, too, and at slightly better terms than clients of the New York company, these people said. For example, Goldman partners aren't being required to invest at least $2 million in Facebook, one person said. Other potential investors have been told that the minimum commitment is $2 million.

Investors also must agree to lock their money up for several years if they agree to participate in the offering, according to investors who are weighing the deal. To get Facebook shares, clients must agree not to sell them until 2013. The ban includes secondary markets that allow investors to buy or sell private-equity ownership stakes.

Facebook is one of the hottest companies in the technology world, and many analysts expect revenue to surge as the Palo Alto, Calif., capitalizes on its Internet ubiquity.

Still, the frenzy to get in on the deal is striking because investors are being provided scant information about Facebook's operations and finances. Prospective investors also must pay hefty fees that amount to 4% upfront and 5% of any gains, according to people familiar with the matter.(AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH)

It isn't clear exactly how many Facebook shares will be sold as part of the deal. Goldman has gone back to Facebook several times to test the company's interest in expanding the size of the sale, according to a person close to the matter, though the tone of the requests was informal. Goldman declined to comment.

Facebook likely will decide how many shares to sell based on how many company shares employees want to unload, according to one investor briefed on terms of the transaction.

Employees at Facebook aren't currently allowed to sell shares. Last year, though, Facebook arranged a deal in which employees could sell a total of at least $100 million in shares to Digital Sky. The Russian investment company also invested $200 million directly in Facebook.
—Geoffrey Fowler, Steve Eder and Aaron Lucchetti contributed to this article.

Yes.. that's fucking right.. Facebook is having their IPO without the P before our very own eyes. If it was any company other than Goldman Sachs, who is very well politically connected, the SEC would have gone far past "investigating" and shut them them fuck down or required Facebook to publish their financial results already.

As it is - I still give it no more than six months before Facebook is required to start announcing results publicly. But you need to tip your hat to them for attempting to dodge regulatory and reporting requirements though -using Goldman as the "investor of Record" to keep their numbers in the upper 500

But really, how could people read all this and act like the last 2 years didn't happen. I hope that this means that the next financial crisis will probably drag facebook down with it in some sort of social networking-bank-advertising mega collapse.

Or maybe it merely means that when facebook inevitable collapses or is revealed to have no real value, there's a slim chance that some politically connected Russian oligarchs who dumped a couple hundred million into it might get a few retired goldman execs snuffed.

But the more worrying point is the whole issue of what happens if the whole market (or a large proportion) moves to what is is essentially a "Private IPO" vehicle. Why go through all the hassle of public reporting and scrutiny of your accounts, just get (bailed out) banks to give you large lumps of (nationally subsidised) money. No worries about a trade sale either, and all those inconvenient due diligence studies and new managers telling you what to do. This is Bubble 2.0 behaviour, and if it was repeated over and over you wind up with a large number of impenetrable investment vehicles in large companies that are "too big to fail", backed up by banks that are "too big to fail".

James Governor makes an interesting point here regarding private control of tradeable Facebook shares creating an artificial scarcity:

The valuation of these companies has soared in the past two years, leading some to worry that the American people bailed out Wall Street so that we could relive the Internet Bubble of 1999.

Baw ha ha ha ha ha ha! I unironically hope this happens, just to see how many popped bubbles in a row it takes for people to stop trusting bankers altogether. It's such a scame to have these website valuations by venture capitalist taken as anything more than a fucking joke.

This is how what it looks like when others wipe there own ass with all of our tax dollars. This over valuation of facebook and social networking is going to be the funniest joke of the 21st century.

At current time, facebook still doesn't make any real money. They report that they made something like $20 million in a year and they projected they'd be making $2 billion in the year after by Goldman.. How is that even logically plausible?

The only thing going for them is that they have targeted advertising... Don't you realize? TARGETED ADVERTISING! Well, I'm off to make more fake facebook accounts to cheat at mafia wars and farmville.

Do you remember when New Corps bought Myspace for 2 billion dollars? Hee, yeah... That worked out pretty well for them.

News Corp's Myspace is preparing to disclose a dramatic downsizing of its business, according to people familiar with the matter.

One person familiar with the matter said the site could lay off between a third and a half of its roughly 1,100 employees. Another person said the moves could be announced as soon as this month.

The restructuring is the latest step in Myspace's intensifying turnaround effort. The social network reduced its staff by nearly 30% last summer, laying-off hundreds of employees. But the cuts weren't sufficient to contain costs, a person familiar with the matter said, who added the new cuts would be across the board. Another person familiar with the matter said that, depending on the results of the restructuring, News Corp. may look for buyers for Myspace but there are no current talks over a sale.

A spokeswoman for the social network, which has headquarters in Beverly Hills, Calif., declined to comment.

Just there for a good laugh.. Well, not so much of a laugh to the 500 people that got laid off. But still, it took 1000 people to run that shit of a site? Makes you realize that wall street is made up of people who have no clue how the internet works and yet constantly believes it will bring them unlimited riches.



Groupon is often just as stupid but at least they are turning a profit for now. They easily turned down a $6 billion offer from google because they feel like their Jr. Fatwallet brigade is really going to become lifelong repeat customers of anything after they get a 1/2 off coupon to it.

They take a 50% cut of the coupon price also. So the store gets literally 25 cents on the dollar for every dollar spent with that coupon. Pretty crazy. And they still pay their employees shit in the grand scheme of things. But again, the place thinks that once they see the great customer service of the store/joint, that they'll be repeat customers and make their money back.

But anyway, if Facebook goes public you should probably buy a lot of shares and get out before the bubble burst. Investment banks have historically made huge money in pushing pie in the sky tech dreams on the investing public. So you might as well make a buck or two off of it while you can.

If you're too young or just don't pay attention, all the money that was made on the ridiculous first day IPOS in the late 90's neither capitalized the companies or made retail investors wealthy.

I mean, social networking websites made for children are completely serious business. You should remember that the difference between Facebook's revenue model compared with googles is that google's ad network is on nearly every site on the internet. Facebook has Facebook.. and people generally don't click the ads because they're not actually searching for anything other than their friends

If anything, Facebook won't be making money off ads like Google does. Everything worthwhile facebook can sell will be their tracking information on their users. Though Nielsen is their exclusive partner in market research and companies are throwing giant piles of money at social media research. None of it is really worth a damn though.

I have to wonder if second life is still around and making money or have people finally realized it was stupid to spend money on fake shit and allowed it to implode on itself.

Fucking Obama....

Fucking Obama.....

I mean, seriously, what the hell happened to hope and change? If you haven't been disenfranchised by now.. and I have to question your logic as to why not, this news story should really push you over the edge. Then again, I've been saying that for a while now. But sure enough, he's starting to sound like Reagan..

Toward a 21st-Century Regulatory System
by Barack Obama

For two centuries, America's free market has not only been the source of dazzling ideas and path-breaking products, it has also been the greatest force for prosperity the world has ever known. That vibrant entrepreneurialism is the key to our continued global leadership and the success of our people.

But throughout our history, one of the reasons the free market has worked is that we have sought the proper balance. We have preserved freedom of commerce while applying those rules and regulations necessary to protect the public against threats to our health and safety and to safeguard people and businesses from abuse.

From child labor laws to the Clean Air Act to our most recent strictures against hidden fees and penalties by credit card companies, we have, from time to time, embraced common sense rules of the road that strengthen our country without unduly interfering with the pursuit of progress and the growth of our economy.

Sometimes, those rules have gotten out of balance, placing unreasonable burdens on business—burdens that have stifled innovation and have had a chilling effect on growth and jobs. At other times, we have failed to meet our basic responsibility to protect the public interest, leading to disastrous consequences. Such was the case in the run-up to the financial crisis from which we are still recovering. There, a lack of proper oversight and transparency nearly led to the collapse of the financial markets and a full-scale Depression.

Over the past two years, the goal of my administration has been to strike the right balance. And today, I am signing an executive order that makes clear that this is the operating principle of our government.

This order requires that federal agencies ensure that regulations protect our safety, health and environment while promoting economic growth. And it orders a government-wide review of the rules already on the books to remove outdated regulations that stifle job creation and make our economy less competitive. It's a review that will help bring order to regulations that have become a patchwork of overlapping rules, the result of tinkering by administrations and legislators of both parties and the influence of special interests in Washington over decades.

Where necessary, we won't shy away from addressing obvious gaps: new safety rules for infant formula; procedures to stop preventable infections in hospitals; efforts to target chronic violators of workplace safety laws. But we are also making it our mission to root out regulations that conflict, that are not worth the cost, or that are just plain dumb.

For instance, the FDA has long considered saccharin, the artificial sweetener, safe for people to consume. Yet for years, the EPA made companies treat saccharin like other dangerous chemicals. Well, if it goes in your coffee, it is not hazardous waste. The EPA wisely eliminated this rule last month.

But creating a 21st-century regulatory system is about more than which rules to add and which rules to subtract. As the executive order I am signing makes clear, we are seeking more affordable, less intrusive means to achieve the same ends—giving careful consideration to benefits and costs. This means writing rules with more input from experts, businesses and ordinary citizens. It means using disclosure as a tool to inform consumers of their choices, rather than restricting those choices. And it means making sure the government does more of its work online, just like companies are doing.

We're also getting rid of absurd and unnecessary paperwork requirements that waste time and money. We're looking at the system as a whole to make sure we avoid excessive, inconsistent and redundant regulation. And finally, today I am directing federal agencies to do more to account for—and reduce—the burdens regulations may place on small businesses. Small firms drive growth and create most new jobs in this country. We need to make sure nothing stands in their way.

One important example of this overall approach is the fuel-economy standards for cars and trucks. When I took office, the country faced years of litigation and confusion because of conflicting rules set by Congress, federal regulators and states.

The EPA and the Department of Transportation worked with auto makers, labor unions, states like California, and environmental advocates this past spring to turn a tangle of rules into one aggressive new standard. It was a victory for car companies that wanted regulatory certainty; for consumers who will pay less at the pump; for our security, as we save 1.8 billion barrels of oil; and for the environment as we reduce pollution. Another example: Tomorrow the FDA will lay out a new effort to improve the process for approving medical devices, to keep patients safer while getting innovative and life-saving products to market faster.

Despite a lot of heated rhetoric, our efforts over the past two years to modernize our regulations have led to smarter—and in some cases tougher—rules to protect our health, safety and environment. Yet according to current estimates of their economic impact, the benefits of these regulations exceed their costs by billions of dollars.

This is the lesson of our history: Our economy is not a zero-sum game. Regulations do have costs; often, as a country, we have to make tough decisions about whether those costs are necessary. But what is clear is that we can strike the right balance. We can make our economy stronger and more competitive, while meeting our fundamental responsibilities to one another.

It's really actually perfect in every wrong way possible. The cherry on top was the fact that this was printed on the Wall Street Journal... That just sealed the deal in making this a big FUCK YOU to the nation.



Yup.. that's it. That does it. I mean, I didn't realize that there was any way for Obama to shove more throbbing corporate cock down his throat, but he managed to do so anyway. Maybe I should just start putting a bit of arsenic into my coffee every day. It'll be a much easier way to deal with the impending doom that is our nation.

The real comedy of all this is that one of the very last talking points that Obama defenders had left was that "At least he's stopping decades of republican presidents weakening of regulators" and here he is..


They got him...

He wasn't even smooth about it or even tried to make a compelling argument about why we should push for more deregulation. He basically summed it down to

"FUCK these regulations are dumb and expensive WHY THE FUCK do we even do these things?" - Barry O

What happened to the president we elected. You know, that one guy who said things like

"We're not going to use signing statements to do an end run around Congress"
- Barack Obama, 2008

It's as if he's that kid who gets bullied and then starts acting like the bullies in hopes that they'll stop bullying him... and then they still don't. Just because you don't want them to call you a socialist anymore doesn't mean that you need to adopt Reagan style president tactics.

Just face it, you'll never be conservative enough for them. You might as well stick with keeping those election promises that you made to the people. Then again, I'm mistaken to think that he was bullied into any of this. It's probably him just working for political clout so he can get re-elected in 2012 as the corporate lap dog.



It wouldn't surprise me if he allows his universal health care to just get voted out of existence by the republicans. Maybe he'll just deregulate health insurance and repeal every aspect of the reform except the purchase mandate.

Maybe in 2012 we will see the introduction of a new "citizenship licenses" which everyone making less than 250k a year will be required to buy that are on a sliding scale pegged at 60% of income. This will be in addition to taxes, and will provide nothing. You won't even get a piece of paper with your name on it.

Maybe he's just trying to improve his approval rating. I know a pretty good way to do that. He should announce his support for the republican effort to repeal that insidious communist health care shit. Once that happens then the approval rating will reach those inauguration levels.

America is really becoming a corporation and Obama is acting more in favor of this than any CEO could dream of. The only thing that needs to happen is Obama need to announce plans to decrease tax rates on top bracket to zero and make it so that all of the burden is shifted to welfare recipients.

Oh.. what am I talking about, Welfare is going to get done away with over the next year or so, but hey, we'll have a Woolly Mammoth walking around again.



I can see Obama just say fuck it with any sort of act and go full on with something like this:

"For two centuries, America's free market has not only been the source of dazzling ideas and path-breaking products, it has also been the greatest force for prosperity the world has ever known."
-Barack "Hussein" Obama, the Socialest

Just you wait, it's going to to get far worse. Look at how the FDA bowed to corporate needs. For as long as we known, the FDA considered saccharin, the artificial sweetener, safe for people to consume. Yet for years, the EPA made companies treat saccharin like other dangerous chemicals. Well, if it goes in your coffee, it's not hazardous waste. The EPA wisely eliminated this rule last month. I wonder how much was used to grease those pockets.

But hey, I'm pretty sure we could refuce everything to a single regulation.....

State ownership.

What Will Happen In The Year Two Thousand One One

In The Year Two Thousand One One

Man, I sure have been milking the new year topics for the last couple of weeks, haven't I? Well, let's just leave this one as the last in the series. Most of all, this will the most important. For you see, I look into my crystal ball and lay out predictions for the year to come.

Will any of them come true? Oh, you'd be surprise! But here it is.. What is to come in the year Two Thousand and Eleven!

- South Sudan will secede, there will be total riots and a limited border clash but

- Korea will yet again be a blue balls maker by not having a damn thing interesting happen there.

- People will stop caring about Julian Assange.

- Nothing of importance will happen.

- No.. correct that. It's going to suck.

- A lot.

- Maybe I'll lose my virginity.

- Probably not.

- Things will probably get worse at a significantly faster speed but nothing major will happen to provoke any type of unrest or uncertainty. I mean, the more Americans lose healthcare insurance, even more demand repeal of Obamacare.

- Tea party patriots will finally overthrow the tyranny of Socialism ushering in a new era of fiscal responsibility, Ron Paul will be executed by the sons of liberty with a smile on his face

- Unemployment will hit 20% and businesses will have the burden of minimum-wage lifted off them to spur hiring.

- Thousands of public entities will be privatized and auctioned off.

- It'll have been a decade since 9/11 so that'll be fun to hear about everywhere... and I mean every fucking where.

Yes you can honor the heroes who died on 9/11 by purchasing the 10th year limited edition 9/11 collector's plate for small asking price of $9.11 plus an extra $30 for delivery! Call now.



Yeah.. I think I'm just going to stay inside with the TV off on 9/11/2011. I just don't want to deal with everyone and their bullshit. I mean.. it just leads to the next wave of future sight...

- Obama will probably bomb Iran over something small.. more than likely stupid.

- The average person dies of a bone infection from not having the money to have their wisdom teeth removed. The following week Wells Fargo will start to harass the deceased family members for the debt they left behind.

- I will still remain to be the awesome guy I have been.

- A lot more minor celebrities you haven't thought about in a couple of decades will die. You will find meaning from it for some strange reason.

- I'll probably make the misguided choice to do or not do things and I will probably not do or not stop doing said things.

- Death will still remain to be certain.

- The political situation will just get worse and Obama will do more things to prove how little of a socialist he really is...

Ha!