Thursday, May 31, 2012

So Curt Schilling Fucked Rhode Island

So Curt Schilling Fucked Rhode Island

And really really hard at the tune of $75 million. And if that wasn't funny enough, it was through the act of a fucking video game. I mean, you really can't make this shit up.
So you may have heard or played Kingdoms of Amalur: The Reckoning. It seemed like somewhat of a decent game, although very side quest heavy and definitely too convoluted for my tastes. However, it was heavily backed with an upcoming MMORPG which has RA Salvatore's tag on it, as well as Todd McFarlane and some other big names in the business.

Curt Schilling decided it would be a good idea to move out of the state of Mass., and at the same time try to create more funding for his company. What happens next should be enough to get anyone a bit concerned for the tax payers of Rhode Island.

A little known organization called the EDC worked in conjunction with Schilling to bring the organization to the state in exchange for jobs. The loan amount is $75 million, which was to be paid back in installments. Here is the kicker, if they fail to pay it back, the debt falls to the tax payers of Rhode Island and Curt Schilling can hop away scott free with, over the course of his career, was minimal investment in the organization compared to his net worth, and ride a golden parachute into ESPN Commentary.

We most all know this is a terrible investment/risk for Rhode Island. Well, that day has come where they have only sold 330,000 copies of KoA, have mismanaged funding into oblivion, and now have missed their EDC payment. What is worse? Their workers are not recieving their pay checks so 38 studious has enough to pay the 1.2 million installment of the loan. How did this all come to fruition?
So not only are the poor people that work at 38 screwed completely - you know, save the executive team of course - but the entire tax payer base of Rhode Island are going to have to bail out Curt Shilling's company, who will lose nothing of the rest of his net worth while hard working folks in Rhode Island will undoubtedly, sooner or later, fork over the remainder of the $70 or so million still owed. Everyone who had jobs will lose them again, and Rhode Island will be in even worse shape than before.

Meanwhile, Curt Schilling will retain all his assets as the loan stipulated none of the default will go to him, but to the tax payers, since he convinced the EDC that since he is giving them jobs and bringing revenue to the city, they should take the risk.

In fact, the person who lost out was the EDC's executive director, as he resigned over this.

In the final months of two mostly unmemorable terms in office, Rhode Island Governor Donald Carcieri boasted about his little state’s big splash - stealing former Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling and his nascent video game company from Massachusetts.

“This is a risk worth taking,’’ said Carcieri, a Republican, announcing the 2010 deal that lured Schilling’s company, 38 Studios, to Providence, and put Rhode Island taxpayers on the hook for up to $75 million in guaranteed loans to an athlete who liked video games but had never developed one.

Schilling had originally hoped to launch the game’s first product in 2010. But he immediately hit trouble raising money. He shocked venture capitalists with an audacious pitch for $48 million - far more than gaming companies typically receive in an initial round of funding. In addition, Schilling was reportedly reluctant to give up much stock in exchange for funding. Flybridge Capital Partners and several other Boston area firms passed on 38 Studios.

“More than one VC who has met Schilling has come away with the impression that an investment would require quite a bit of ‘babysitting,’ ’’ noted a trade publication, Private Equity Week, at the time.

When the proposal came back for more debate in May, Representative Laurence Ehrhardt, a North Kingstown Republican, was ready with an amendment that would cap at $10 million the loan guarantee available to any one company. Loan guarantees would mean the state would be obligated to pay if the company defaults.

As debate began on the House floor, Ehrhardt got a note that someone wanted to see him in the hall, he said. It was Stokes, the economic development director.

“He had learned of my amendment and made a personal request that I not submit it,’’ said Ehrhardt. Stokes never mentioned Schilling, suggesting only to Ehrhardt that the cap would “cause some difficulties with some negotiations they were having. But nothing more specific then that.’’

Under the terms of the loan, 38 Studios must pay $5.3 million in interest this year, and $12.7 million in interest and principal every year from 2013 to 2020.

Schilling’s company released its first effort earlier this year, a role-playing video game called Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning. It was well-reviewed and has sold about 1 million copies at about $60 each, according to market research company VGChartz.

Governor Lincoln Chafee, an independent, criticized the deal with 38 Studios as a candidate in 2010. He has been cool to Schilling’s request for more public assistance, though Chafee has said it is in the state’s interest to find a way to save the company.

Other opponents blasted the deal on Thursday, and warned against any more taxpayer dollars for Schilling’s company.

“We got hoodwinked; we got played,’’ Watson said. “How many millions of dollars does Curt Schilling have? He can’t write a check? It’s Rhode Island that is supposed to provide the money? I think not.’’

Stokes, who resigned late Wednesday, had little to say about the unraveling deal with Schilling, insisting the economic development agency’s negotiations with the company remain confidential. He would not directly address whether the agency gave proper oversight to the state’s investment in 38 Studios.

R.A. Salvatore is fine, walking away with a cool $5m.

But hey, Curt Schilling once said:
“There can be no question our country is in the worst economic crisis of our lifetimes. I also think there can be no question that it falls on us, the individuals, to find a way out of our own personal crisis.”

Meanwhile, everyone at the company has been laid off. So hey, good luck, Rhode Island. I guess I should feel bad for the employees, who were apparently blindsided by the financial reality of the company.

It makes you wonder why it fell apart, considering their latest game sold "well", and by well I mean 1.2 million copies. But I guess that wasn't enough and they actually needed to sell around 3 million to turn any sort of a profit.

I guess that's what happens when you're a shitty business man. His company was trying to do some strange stuff like take over the mortgages to make the lives easier on his employees. But hey, that's now Rhode Island's problem.

Other Schilling investments involve purchasing and marketing advanced squad leader, a WW2 board game no one played because the basic rulebook is over five hundred pages long and it literally takes nine hours to play four turns.

No, seriously. I'm not using "literally" ironically here and I'm not making that number up. Four turns is the suggested game length because playing a scenario out would take days to accomplish.

So anyhow, now that the state is fucked, let's look back at what money that went to a video game could have accomplished. For example, they could have paid teachers or funded a university with that money, but nope, gotta make a MMO for jobs that are going to last maybe a year and then get laid off anyway.

Just imagine that sales pitch "Okay, see this is my business plan, have you heard of a thing called World of Warcraft? Oh, teachers? Fuck them!"

They literally could have given 1,000 teachers a reasonable year's salary for that much money. Hell, I think a teacher would need to be a hired assassin on the side to be making 75k a year, so it's really more like 2,000 teachers. Especially accounting for various charges and procurement for teaching supplies, 1,000 would be easily covered. Because it should be pointed out again that teachers don't get funds for supplies and basic needs like that. Shit, considering how much time teachers spend on work and curriculum development outside of class and all the materials they need to buy themselves, this money is just tragically wasted on a fucking video game company.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Minority Pizza

Minority Pizza

So this is a pretty comical, or perhaps ironic twist of fate. Seems that a Pizza chain is giving away free food for minorities...
Pizza Patrón, a 104-unit, carry-out pizza chain headquartered in Dallas, is raising eyebrows both inside and outside the Latino community with a planned promotion to give away thousands of large pepperoni pizzas on the evening of June 5 to folks who order in Spanish.

One conservative group doesn't like it, either. "It seems to punish people who can't speak Spanish, and I resent that," says Peter Thomas, chairman of the Conservative Caucus, which advocates English as the nation's spoken language. "In public areas, people should be speaking English, and that includes pizza parlors."
Gee, thanks capitalism! What a big fucking baby. Just watch in two years time things like this being heavily regulated to prevent white America from getting uncomfortable. Because really, all this is about is white males, getting horrendously offended whenever they're excluded from anything, no matter how trivial it may be. It's almost as though they have no experience with being told "no" or excluded before.

The funny thing about this is that they're not even being excluded. They could spend 30 seconds learning how to say "I would like a free large pizza please" in Spanish and then get their free five dollar pizza. Otherwise, as an American, my rights to free pizza are being infringed upon and THIS ACT OF AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND! It's outrageous to use a discriminatory selling practice to make a political po-

Well shit.

I'm guessing that in response to this promotion, Domino's will offer a free large pizza to anyone who can order a pizza from Domino's without breaking down and crying mid-sentence. It's gotten to the point where managers of pizza patron are already getting death threats. But hey, the internet has made me believe that people from first world countries are so impotent, insane and angry that they'll mail death threats to anybody who slightly disagrees with them on anything. I shouldn't be surprised - when your entire way of life has been born from the spilling of blood of people darker than yourself, I guess that will happen.

Fun Fact- Pizza Patron once used to take pesos throughout their chains with no problem, and they almost exclusively advertise in Spanish first on their ads. Sadly, they got in a lot of trouble for the pesos thing from bigots. Oh noes, why do expect fake monies?! They were so mad because they were enabling ILLEGALS to get a HOT CHEESE PIZZA!

You have to wonder about people who get upset by a business in the US accepting pesos. How must they feel about the US dollar being so widely accepted world wide? I guess the answer to that is "terribly offended that it is not accept by literally everyone everywhere they go."

But it's not like they're only facing resistance from the white who are being excluded, what's even funnier is that Hispanic advertising agency who's in an uproar over this because "they're making us look like those dirtier browns!"
"Maybe they thought it was a cute thing to do, but I think it's discrimination," says Marcela Gomez, president of Hispanic Marketing Group, a Latino marketing firm in Nashville. "As an advertising agency, I would never recommend this to my client."
If I'm correct, I think she referred to herself as a business. As is the case of referring to yourself in the 6th person according to the Roberts court. But hey, according to one of the few decent programs on NPR, Latino USA, newer generations are integrating into US society to the point where they don't identify as Spanish-speaking or prefer not to/can't speak Spanish at all. So it may not be the smartest ploy when reaching out to the youth, but not for the stupid bullshit reasons they mention in the article.

Oddly enough, all of this makes Pizza Patron unironically the most leftist business in the U.S. at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if it comes out that this is just a front for funneling money to the contras in that case.

The only real downside to forcing Americans to learn Spanish is that I can't insult gringos without their knowledge as much. The other downside is that we're infecting the immigrants with the virus that is being American. You see, recent Mexican immigrants to the United States are more healthy, both mentally and physically, than your average US middle class profile.

But then integration eventually makes them just as ill and unhealthy as the rest of us, too. Interesting, that it's almost as if the fabric of the United States society damages everything that it touches.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Arizona - Neither a Great Place To Visit or Live..

Arizona - Neither a Great Place To Visit or Live..

I mean, seriously. It's a fucking shit hole of a place. It's very hot and it's full of the dumbest legislation possible. Take for example the situation that Arizona banned funding Planned Parenthood altogether:

"This is a common sense law that tightens existing state regulations and closes loopholes in order to ensure that taxpayer dollars are not used to fund abortions, whether directly or indirectly," the governor said in a statement.

Joe Arpaio.

I mean, it shouldn't come to a surprise to anyone that Joe Arpaio is a complete douche bag. But it's not limited to him. Look at Jan Brewer, who is killing transplant patients in lieu of passing a one-cent tax.

And if you thought the mind behind the muscle was the only idiots, think again. How about the situation where the Arizona SWAT team defended shooting an Iraq vet 60 times.

But hey, it's not like anything is going to happen with that as prosecutor and Arpaio lapdog Andy Thomas disbarred- but not for trying to have a 16yo boy sent to prison for 90 years for showing a Playboy to his classmates... Then you have a women cooked to death in solar ovens. But hey, maybe you have some hope... just some glimmer there's the whole police cover ups of getting gun down by gunfire and driven around on hood of cop car like a dead deer.

If all those things don't scream WELCOME TO ARIZONA, I don't know what does.

To be honest, I really try not to keep up with what is going on in that shit hole back desert because it's just too much of a pain. I can't read anything about Arpaio anymore without going into fits of rage. It's really making me wonder if it's the worst state in the union.

Yeah, I actually said it.. and at this moment Florida is sighing and drawing its Katana, much like Reagan... (inside joke) But it's really a shame that Arizona is this shitty bad, as the natural beauty is plentiful and spectacular.

But hey, there's some strange news in all this. I read somewhere that Arizona was the 48th worst state to be imprisoned in, so it really makes you wonder how much shittier the prison system is that it is still a peg or two up higher than the worse.

I'm going to guess that it's probably Louisiana that is worse. You know, where black prisoners are literally put to work on plantations owned by white prison owners and wardens, yeah.. that shit still happens. And if by chance it's not, god, I don't even want to know how it could get any worse than that.

Either way, Arizona can go suck a fuck.

Monday, May 28, 2012

In Space No One Can See You Drink Coors

In Space No One Can See You Drink Coors

In one of the oddest cross promotion marketing ad campaigns that I have come across, Ridley Scott's latest movie, PROMETHEUS is cross promoting with Coors, the silver bullet. Which makes you wonder, can a silver bullet really kill an Xenomorph? Otherwise, why didn't Ripley have more shitty beer in space?

I'm pretty sure that space marines are dumb enough to drink that shit, but is anyone else? What exactly is your game here, Weyland Industries?

I am to assume that every can of coors now comes with an alien infection and that feeling you have the next morning is not actually some side effect of drinking shitty beer the night before, but actually a chest buster that is about to wreck shit all over whatever colony you are in. Chances are if you're drinking Coors, it's your shitty track homes or some camping trip -- who the fuck DOESN'T drink that awful beer at camping trips?

Hipsters. That's who. Heineken? FUCK.DAT.SHIT. PABST BLUE RIBBON!

So anyhow, what the fuck is this tagged on bullshit all about?
To support the ongoing national launch of its Silver Bullet Aluminum Pint, Coors Light is partnering with PROMETHEUS, the summer’s scariest action event film and director Ridley Scott’s return to the genre he helped define. The co-branded 30-second TV ad is produced by Scott and his production company, RSA. The spot, titled “Do You Thirst?,” features footage from the film and will air nationally on network primetime, network and cable sports, and cable entertainment programming.
This is the sort of stuff that makes me long for the end of days. I mean, really? This is what I have to look forward to in this illustrious career in the industry? Sucking the all mighty cock of commercialization? Just look how a master handles this sort of pressure from the industry to sell out;
“Ridley and I had a fantastic time collaborating with Coors Light and its agency team on this creative,” said Jules Daly of RSA. “It was great to see how they completely embraced the film’s imagery and themes to create a truly integrated campaign.”
Why yes, I'm sure Ridley had a fantastic time collaborating with Coors. But clearly not as a fantastic time as he did cashing in that fat mother fuckin' pay check from an big beer company for sticking a god awful holographic "iconic" beer bottle in the middle of his artistic integrity.

This is the sort of stuff that just makes me want to leave the industry and reevalute my role in said film industry. Because as a socialist -- nay, a communist, I feel a little dirty in knowing that I'm in an industry that is nothing more than one big giant ad campaign for whatever it is that is sponsoring the production.

Most people think that it's the other way around. That ads like those for cleaning supplies and murder mysteries are attached to Bones because, hey, that's the key demographic that is watching. In hindsight, it's the fact that Bones exist BECAUSE those products need a vehicle to be attached to.

Your average person hates commercials. I mean they hate them with a passion. But realize that without those ads, your shows would be pointless -- if anything, they won't even exist. No point. For entertainment? HA! this whole industry is brought to you on a foundation of Johnson and Johnson or Proctor and Gamble. Nothing to hide about all that.

But hey, how far will this shit go with a sci-fi horror film? Let's see;

In addition to the national TV ad, the partnership will come to life via the Coors Light Facebook page (, where legal-drinking-age fans will be able to see the new commercial and other “Prometheus” content. The partnership also will be promoted through retail merchandising and programming. Plus, Coors Light will make it possible for consumers to attend exclusive screening events in more than 30 markets across the United States.

“Partnering with a visionary such as Ridley Scott presents a special opportunity for Coors Light to drive consumer and retailer enthusiasm for our new Silver Bullet Pint,” said Dan Hennessy, senior director of marketing for the Coors Family of Brands. “It’s clear ‘Prometheus’ is going to be the summer blockbuster movie of 2012, once again bringing Sir Ridley’s unique story-telling skills to science fiction fans. We’re thrilled to be part of the excitement surrounding this film.”

There's no part of that statement that doesn't make me want to violently puke up the contents of my lunch and dinner. "It's clear Prometheus is going to be a blockbuster, and thus, we want to attach our name to it" In no way shape or form does it even remotely make sense that the Rockies be tapped for space travel. So I don't get why even use it in such a manner?

This is what gets me. This is what, at one point in my career choice to go into this industry, I realized that I may have to sleep with the devil from time to time, but at least I can have some creative control on what products get attached to my production and have it actually relate to the story and not seem like a blatant product placement. So it's really saddening to see Sir-Ridley Scott having to get on all fours and suck cock to the almighty shitty beer companies in order to make sure that 20th Century Fox gets enough cash up front in their pockets and some more ad space on a film that, at best, is going to be a cult classic -- which rarely do gangbusters in theater box office take-ins to begin with.

I think it's about time I try my hand in a new field. Jack of all trades, master of none. . . At the very least I wont have my dignity flushed down the drain on a project twenty years in the making to just allow shitty beer companies to hop onto it.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

America is Fat

America is Fat

So I came across this little image the other day and, well, I didn't know what else to do than to write about it.

Would you look at that, a free basket of donuts! Wow, what a great deal!. Just think, you can sit down, order nothing, then walk out with free donuts and eat them for, like, a week. Except not really, cause I'm pretty sure any sane person can't stand donuts anymore -- I know I can't. They're far too sweet for my taste.

But look at the other shit on that poster. Home of the 64oz Cola? Oh boy, now you can dunk the donuts in the cola for a delicious treat! Why yes, I'd like a donut slushie please, just dump the free basket of donuts into a blender with the cola. Make that a 64oz'er, my friend. You can call it your signature dish here at this eating establishment, Ammey!

For those of you playing at home, 64oz is like 2 liters of cola. Which I guess I should go into detail about. After high school I developed an addiction to soda. I would chug two 2-liters of Pepsi daily. Most of these would be in the form of some 7-11 big gulp or double big gulp. They were sort of cheap. A few bucks gets you a massive amount of sugar enriched soda. I'm sort of surprised I don't have diabetes.

And for those of you who want to ride that line of craziness? I would advise against it. It may sound like a solid money well spent sort of situation, but with the potential of diabetes, not really that great of a deal.

Especially since most of those are just post-mix, so it's mostly water with some cola flavored syrup in it. Cost places that sell you an endless amount of soda refills virtually nothing to operate. It's really hurting no one but yourself. Maybe this is just America defined.

I mean, I would normally say shit like "Death to America" and all, but it looks like 7-11 already is taking care of that aspect. So perhaps it's time to move on to another thing killing America, thankfully - tornadoes and national disasters are top priority right now.

Why yes, today's forecast is 100% chance of hand jobs in Florida! You do it long enough and it'll look like he's jizzing out Key West.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

You Sunk My Battleship

You Sunk My Battleship

Over the weekend I ran across a 720p CAMS version of this god damn movie. What with the levels of intoxication that I was probably running, I sort of had to pull the trigger and act out on my inner need for piracy at this point. I mean, I could have waited for the 1080p CAMS version, but how much quality could I really be missing out on -- I told myself.

At this point I have to say that this movie based off a board game is simply not good. I know! I'm as shocked as you are, my good friends. How dare they take something so complex as Battleship, a violent game of blindly trying to guess where your opponent placed his ships on a X and Y axis, and turn it into some sort of Transformers.

I think that it was just a little too much military porn for my taste. But hey, can't fault them on glossing over the death and injuries -- let me tell you, there was a lot of that. I guess you can call it a "Summer Blockbuster", but that's really just sugar coating the real name of this piece of shit -- which is that it's a tolerable waste of time.

Where else are you going to see veterans start up an old battleship so that they can take on aliens to the tune of some really shitty AC/DC music track? That's to the levels of ID4's original ending with Randy Quad flying his dust cropper into the mouth of the alien ship.

If there's one thing I could recommend or even suggest about this film, it's that you should save yourself some time and just go into this at around the 30 minute mark -- This means just enjoying your time while out on that date and telling her not to worry that the movie started 25 minutes ago. With this piece of advice you'll walk in right when the alien attacks begin, and who isn't up for some good ol' fashion alien attacking action where some cities get destroyed in true CGI fashion? Those little spinning metal balls are all around fun and destructive.

Basically everything that you need to know about this film is that there is a character named "Stone Hopper". And if that doesn't tell you the entire tale, I don't know what will. I'm just wondering what the next board game turned movie franchise will be? "Mouse Trap - Coming soon to a theater near you!"

It is doing gangbusters internationally though. So maybe the answer is that people want more movies featuring destroyers and battleships doing skid turns and fucking shit up. I don't know how possible that shit is really to do, but apparently it happens in this film, so it must be true! I probably will never call the Navy a bunch of queer sailors again, least I want my home to be bombarded with blast from their ship.

Is it worth watching? My god, no. And really, it's not very healthy. I have to admit, I kinda get why Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rihanna now, after watching this film. I'm feeling that he was justified, if nothing more than he probably saw into the future.

Friday, May 25, 2012

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

Eleven years ago... well, two weeks prior, but eleven years ago, British humorist Douglas Adams passed away of a heart attack in California. Well known author of The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, Dirk Gently's Hollistic Detective Agency, The Meaning of life, Last Chance to See and a whole lot of other really nerdy stuff in general that have become an irreplaceable part of the collective consciousness. Just read the following on the importance of a towel....
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)
—Douglas Adams

Adams's interests were vast and varied, climbing a part of Mount Kilimanjaro in a rhino costume to benefit endangered rhinos, writing Monty Python's Flying Circus and Doctor Who episodes, writing his own adventure games, and once played with Pink Floyd at a concert for his 42nd birthday.

A while ago, BBC radio played a 30 minute radio interview The Doctor and Douglas, which looks at how Douglas Adams went from a depressed failed writer sitting in his bathtub for the entire day, to selling the HHGttG radio series, to Doctor Who Script editor.

In any event, two weeks after he passed away we celebrated the first Towel Day. A day when every fan of his works carried around a towel, because really, you shouldn't leave home without one. Anyhow, this was making its rounds on Twitter some time ago and I'd never seen it before, so I thought it was really impressive, given that Douglas Adams wrote it in 1999;
How to Stop Worrying and Learn to Love the Internet

This piece first appeared in the News Review section of The Sunday Times on August 29th 1999. We've temporarily removed the graphics today, as the page is being hammered!

A couple of years or so ago I was a guest on Start The Week, and I was authoritatively informed by a very distinguished journalist that the whole Internet thing was just a silly fad like ham radio in the fifties, and that if I thought any different I was really a bit naïve. It is a very British trait – natural, perhaps, for a country which has lost an empire and found Mr Blobby – to be so suspicious of change.

But the change is real. I don’t think anybody would argue now that the Internet isn’t becoming a major factor in our lives. However, it’s very new to us. Newsreaders still feel it is worth a special and rather worrying mention if, for instance, a crime was planned by people ‘over the Internet.’ They don’t bother to mention when criminals use the telephone or the M4, or discuss their dastardly plans ‘over a cup of tea,’ though each of these was new and controversial in their day.

Then there’s the peculiar way in which certain BBC presenters and journalists (yes, Humphrys Snr., I’m looking at you) pronounce internet addresses. It goes ‘www DOT … bbc DOT… co DOT… uk SLASH… today SLASH…’ etc., and carries the implication that they have no idea what any of this new-fangled stuff is about, but that you lot out there will probably know what it means.

I suppose earlier generations had to sit through all this huffing and puffing with the invention of television, the phone, cinema, radio, the car, the bicycle, printing, the wheel and so on, but you would think we would learn the way these things work, which is this:

1) everything that’s already in the world when you’re born is just normal;

2) anything that gets invented between then and before you turn thirty is incredibly exciting and creative and with any luck you can make a career out of it;

3) anything that gets invented after you’re thirty is against the natural order of things and the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it until it’s been around for about ten years when it gradually turns out to be alright really.

Apply this list to movies, rock music, word processors and mobile phones to work out how old you are.

This subjective view plays odd tricks on us, of course. For instance, ‘interactivity’ is one of those neologisms that Mr Humphrys likes to dangle between a pair of verbal tweezers, but the reason we suddenly need such a word is that during this century we have for the first time been dominated by non-interactive forms of entertainment: cinema, radio, recorded music and television. Before they came along all entertainment was interactive: theatre, music, sport – the performers and audience were there together, and even a respectfully silent audience exerted a powerful shaping presence on the unfolding of whatever drama they were there for. We didn’t need a special word for interactivity in the same way that we don’t (yet) need a special word for people with only one head.

I expect that history will show ‘normal’ mainstream twentieth century media to be the aberration in all this. ‘Please, miss, you mean they could only just sit there and watch? They couldn’t do anything? Didn’t everybody feel terribly isolated or alienated or ignored?’

‘Yes, child, that’s why they all went mad. Before the Restoration.’

‘What was the Restoration again, please, miss?’

‘The end of the twentieth century, child. When we started to get interactivity back.’

Because the Internet is so new we still don’t really understand what it is. We mistake it for a type of publishing or broadcasting, because that’s what we’re used to. So people complain that there’s a lot of rubbish online, or that it’s dominated by Americans, or that you can’t necessarily trust what you read on the web. Imagine trying to apply any of those criticisms to what you hear on the telephone. Of course you can’t ‘trust’ what people tell you on the web anymore than you can ‘trust’ what people tell you on megaphones, postcards or in restaurants. Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do. For some batty reason we turn off this natural skepticism when we see things in any medium which require a lot of work or resources to work in, or in which we can’t easily answer back – like newspapers, television or granite. Hence ‘carved in stone.’ What should concern us is not that we can’t take what we read on the internet on trust – of course you can’t, it’s just people talking – but that we ever got into the dangerous habit of believing what we read in the newspapers or saw on the TV – a mistake that no one who has met an actual journalist would ever make. One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is no ‘them’ out there. It’s just an awful lot of ‘us’.

Of course, there’s a great deal wrong with the Internet. For one thing, only a minute proportion of the world’s population is so far connected. I recently heard some pundit on the radio arguing that the internet would always be just another unbridgeable gulf between the rich and the poor for the following reasons – that computers would always be expensive in themselves, that you had to buy lots of extras like modems, and you had to keep upgrading your software. The list sounds impressive but doesn’t stand up to a moment’s scrutiny. The cost of powerful computers, which used to be around the level of jet aircraft, is now down amongst the colour television sets and still dropping like a stone. Modems these days are mostly built-in, and standalone models have become such cheap commodities that companies, like Hayes, whose sole business was manufacturing them are beginning to go bust.. Internet software from Microsoft or Netscape is famously free. Phone charges in the UK are still high but dropping. In the US local calls are free. In other words the cost of connection is rapidly approaching zero, and for a very simple reason: the value of the web increases with every single additional person who joins it. It’s in everybody’s interest for costs to keep dropping closer and closer to nothing until every last person on the planet is connected.

Another problem with the net is that it’s still ‘technology’, and ‘technology’, as the computer scientist Bran Ferren memorably defined it, is ‘stuff that doesn’t work yet.’ We no longer think of chairs as technology, we just think of them as chairs. But there was a time when we hadn’t worked out how many legs chairs should have, how tall they should be, and they would often ‘crash’ when we tried to use them. Before long, computers will be as trivial and plentiful as chairs (and a couple of decades or so after that, as sheets of paper or grains of sand) and we will cease to be aware of the things. In fact I’m sure we will look back on this last decade and wonder how we could ever have mistaken what we were doing with them for ‘productivity.’

But the biggest problem is that we are still the first generation of users, and for all that we may have invented the net, we still don’t really get it. In ‘The Language Instinct’, Stephen Pinker explains the generational difference between pidgin and creole languages. A pidgin language is what you get when you put together a bunch of people – typically slaves – who have already grown up with their own language but don’t know each others’. They manage to cobble together a rough and ready lingo made up of bits of each. It lets them get on with things, but has almost no grammatical structure at all.

However, the first generation of children born to the community takes these fractured lumps of language and transforms them into something new, with a rich and organic grammar and vocabulary, which is what we call a Creole. Grammar is just a natural function of children’s brains, and they apply it to whatever they find.

The same thing is happening in communication technology. Most of us are stumbling along in a kind of pidgin version of it, squinting myopically at things the size of fridges on our desks, not quite understanding where email goes, and cursing at the beeps of mobile phones. Our children, however, are doing something completely different. Risto Linturi, research fellow of the Helsinki Telephone Corporation, quoted in Wired magazine, describes the extraordinary behaviour kids in the streets of Helsinki, all carrying cellphones with messaging capabilities. They are not exchanging important business information, they’re just chattering, staying in touch. "We are herd animals," he says. "These kids are connected to their herd – they always know where it’s moving." Pervasive wireless communication, he believes will "bring us back to behaviour patterns that were natural to us and destroy behaviour patterns that were brought about by the limitations of technology."

We are natural villagers. For most of mankind’s history we have lived in very small communities in which we knew everybody and everybody knew us. But gradually there grew to be far too many of us, and our communities became too large and disparate for us to be able to feel a part of them, and our technologies were unequal to the task of drawing us together. But that is changing.

Interactivity. Many-to-many communications. Pervasive networking. These are cumbersome new terms for elements in our lives so fundamental that, before we lost them, we didn’t even know to have names for them.
Adams, will, in all likelihood, go down as the only person in human history to have both Richard Dawkins speak and David Gilmour play at his funeral. He's a personal hero of mine, and I hope humanity remembers him for a long time to come. Which is why towel day is an important day to celebrate.

I still wish I had kept my "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and "Bureaucracy" Infocom game boxes. Though you can play it online

So maybe he didn't die. Maybe he just went to the restaurant at the end of the universe and got displaced in time.... Yeah, that must be it.

Douglas Adams, writer, missing, presumed fed.

Though, I guess the real trick to all of this and the best way to honor his memory is by reading or listening to Last Chance to See. Environmental activism and endangered species conservation were important to him, and the project contains some of his best writing, hands down. It'll also introduce you to the weirdest parrots in the world, if you haven't already met them. (I'm happy to say that there are more kakapo now than there were when Douglas first wrote about them, although some of the other species haven't fared so well.)

At the time Douglas Adams died, he was talking with Mark Carwardine about doing a follow-up to Last Chance To See. Carwardine eventually did the follow-up with Stephen Fry, and it was aired in 2009 on the BBC. They go back and try to locate some of the species that Adams and Carwardine saw, twenty years later. If you can find a copy of that, I highly suggest you sit down and watch it. It's really great.

Here's a fun fact: A fair amount of Life, The Universe, and Everything came from a rejected Doctor Who script idea - "Doctor Who versus the Krikkitmen."

And with that, I say So long, Douglas Adams, and thanks for all the fish.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Black Face

Black Face

So this is something I came across..

What. the. mother. fuckin. fuck? Whaaaa?

the artist:

about the installation:


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Whiskey And You

Whiskey and You

In the past I wrote about hard liquor and what not in an attempt to educate you masses on drinking. Well, in this filler post I just lay out the history of Whiskey..

You'll be able to taste my Whiskey later this year..

I'm not joking.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Capitalism is for the Chimps

Capitalism is for the Chimps

When I was young and faced with the option of what I wanted to do with my life, I knew one thing -- I wanted to be a good communist and crush capitalism. Oddly enough, it was those who went into banking and finance did a much better job at crushing it than I ever could.

In any event, I basically had the mentality that I didn't want to sell anything. I liked the creative aspect of things. But much like anything, if you're just creating -- someone else is abusing your work to squeeze as much money out of it. It's really a virus of a system if you think about it.

Which is why I wonder should we teach lower animals business skills? Can capitalism survive if we don't spread it to other species? As it seems we're already doing so...

Just makes you realize that Chimpanzees are worse than humans -- if you can actually believe that. I mean, I'm obviously rating humans and chimps on different scales, because humans are monsters and you all know that I feel this way. Chimps just manage a lot with the little they have. So on the scale of things, they're far worse.

But in any event, my one wish was that humanity would be destroyed before we can spread capitalism to other species. So oh well.

Fuck it. I'm sorry Earth, you're stuck with this shit till the monkey's all die off.

In any event, if you like good documentaries and horrifying descents into evil unscientific madness, you should probably watch Project Nim.

The fellas in charge of the experiment was hilarious and disgusting all at the same time. He was all like "Science... it's about the SCIENCE, I DIDN'T JUST WANT TO GET LAID!" all the while he hires only attractive undergrads... and then sleeps with all of them.

But seriously, I was crying by the end of it. And maybe not entirely for the emotional aspect of it, but by the fact that we inflict all these studies on animals that are nothing more than just scientist really being bored with themselves and universities having far more money than sense and allowing them to be bank rolled.

Monday, May 21, 2012

The Phantom Pain

The Phantom Pain

I guess it's only fitting that I write about this when it's topical, but I seem to be suffering chronic pain in my leg right now-- which is odd because it generally only happens around winter time. You see, during the winter when the air is actually cold in Los Angeles, I become Doctor House.

That's not to say that I'm a complete asshole who shoves Vicodin pills down his throat. Because we all know that's a given already in my current mental state. But no, it has more to do with the way I walk. I carry a sort of Gregory House style limp walk randomly as my leg gets into a sort of chronic pain mode. Why does this happen? It's a long story. . .

I burned my leg in a fire a good 16 or so years ago. I would say it was a tragic situation, but it was probably more in line with me being a complete and utter dumbass. I was trying to put out a fire -- which in itself isn't much of a dumbass move. That came into play when I tried doing so wearing converse. I'm not sure if the material in those Chuck Taylors is any more flammable than your average charcoal, but it sure seemed like it.

Within seconds the flames went up to my jeans and causing first to third degree burns on my right leg. For a brief second I was literally someone who had their pants on fire. No lies needed. I gloss over the why of things because that's probably not really important. Let's just say that when you see fire, you have a human instinct to be frightened. Some would run from it in fear. I choose to try to put it out. I live with the pain of that choice to this day. It's also sort of stopped me from wearing shorts as I opt to wearing pants -- a method to hide that scar from society. Then again, shorts aren't very fashion sensible.

During the winter months is when it comes around full form and I start to cringe when I walk. Yet I continue to push on with hiking, walking, for a while I ran track. Even despite the pain that has been growing over the years. I assume that it's just the nerves are shot to hell in that area between my ankle and my knee. Muscles can't grow and they tense up -- especially when its cold out.

The confusion that faces me now is why does it feel this way in the summer months? Especially when I live in California -- Southern California no less. I don't want to get addicted or dependent on medication for this. I keep pushing to better myself, especially now when it seems like I'm in the best place to just make a clean and fresh start in a lot of fields.

I'm not sure if it'll get better as the summer heat comes on -- maybe it'll progress worse. Which would be a terrible shame because I do find solace and comfort in the ability to walk aimlessly into the mountains and forest. I guess, at worse, I'll be faced with doing it at a slower pace. I am one of those stubborn son-bitches who just won't stay down. I do wonder what my future is -- by no means am I really THAT active. I am, after all, a nerd at heart. But this sort of means that I'm going to be facing problems in simple mobility unless I get myself on some physical numbing agent -- which I've never really been too keen on, with the exception of alcohol.

So there you go. Was this blog post any strange news article? Pfft, as if I've done anything "Weird" lately. It's been political and current affairs with a mixture of me being a bit of a depression lately. So I'm sure it wasn't really in the scope of what this was about. More to the point of some live journal bullshit. But hey, at least I unloaded a little personal information on you. A crippling disability that is slowly consuming me more and more is always the best subjects to talk about on the internet.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Social Protest - Then and Now

Social Protest - Then and Now

Well, I guess it's time to look into the machine of the past and present. Today we see social protest. Take this image from a Socialist rally in Union Square, 1912

Now look at the modern day version of a Occupy rally in Union Square, 2012.

More women, less hats. 100 years worth of social progress right there.

Then again, hats are cool and they protect your identity from above. So what will the social protest of the future look like? ONE CAN ONLY WONDER!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Hardcore Feelings With Hardcore Knives..

Hardcore Feelings With Hardcore Knives..

Every now and then I just have to remind myself how amazing the internet is in how strange it can crank out stuff. Like, I saw this lipstick switchblade

And I couldn't help but remember one of my all time favorite youtube videos. I know I've posted this video several times, but it just never gets old..

Oh man, watch out for that guy with the razors hidden in his hat! Even the narration is amazing.
"Are you familiar with the mexican sacatripe" always sounds like the worst chatup line ever. It's doesn't help things that the proceeding line is '...and other warm-blooded animals' HEH HEH

Anyhow, yeah. That was a good video.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Endangered Gorillaz

Endangered Gorillaz

Wow, remember back in 2005 when this song came out from an animated

And it was just amazing that Damon Albarn from Blur was making such great music on the side


Then their second album featured just as many awesome songs

Tomorrow Comes Today


On Melancholy Hill

Jamie Hewlett was disappointed that not everything on Plastic Trees was animated. See this video

And thus, here's probably the last Gorillaz music video you'll ever see

Speaking of Gorillaz, it looks like the reported falling out between Albarn and artist Jamie Hewlett in 2011 may have been true, despite representatives squashing those rumors at the time. Albarn called the band's future "unlikely" and said that it was Hewlett's decision to end the band. He also hinted that Hewlett's anger likely came from the lack of visuals on the Plastic Beach tour: "The music and the videos weren't working as well together, but I felt we'd made a really good record, and I was into it. So we went and played it." Gorillaz' "DoYaThing", the Converse song featuring James Murphy and Andre 3000, just came out in February.
Farewell Gorillaz. You were probably one of my favorite bands of the 00's.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

No Taste

No Taste

Every time you see some wine drinker you're probably thinking to yourself that they're such a snobby pricks and what the fuck is up with them describing a flavor like leather. How in the world can that even possibly be something that you would want to taste in your wine? Well, even though it sounds odd, there is some rhyme to their reason.

You see, they actually have a palate.

Don't get sad that you don't. It's not something you are born with. You actually have to develop one and a great way to develop your palate is to drink, drink and drink some more. But aside from drinking and reading reviews- which you may not really understand till you've explored drinking and what flavors appeal to you, is to sit down and actually taste the foods that people use to refer to whiskey/wine/beer/etc. Actually sit down and savor an almond, a bit of honey, a piece of quality caramel, stone fruits like plums and cherries, red fruits like raspberries and cranberries, dried fruits like raisins or prunes. Take in the nuances of a good vanilla extract or bean, the richness of a small bit of melted butter or just sit down on a freshly cut lawn and smell those blades of grass.

As you're tasting or smelling these things, think back to the drink you've tried in the past and try to place the flavors. Notice that some have a stronger vanilla or caramel flavor than others. Some are way more buttery than others. One may have stone fruit or red fruit flavors separately, while another might have both, and that you can actually distinguish them. Here's a cool "flavor wheel" to jog your brain of the words you want to use to describe whiskey, wine, beer, cheese or whatever, but can't think of it off the top of your head;

And yes, it does say Fruity - Solvent: Nail polish remover. You are looking to actually describe your drink as nail polish remover. No, this is not when you're drinking PBR on a 5am bender. This is simply to show that acetone, the main ingredient in nail polish remover, has a faintly fruity order to it. Don't believe me? Go waft a bit towards your nose and you'll see.

Another common idea people have is that they want to get into scotch so that they can drink a bottle that is older than themselves. Obviously this gets more difficult as time goes on since the older the bottle, chances are the more expensive it will be. To you folks I say be careful.

After 25 years, you're entering just a collectible /status symbol echelon for Scotch. You're going to be looking towards $300 for anything of good quality People who buy these Scotches are either truly passionate about a brand, a scotch collector, or someone looking to showcase their success or celebrate a milestone. You should never really shop for Scotch based on only price and age alone though, unless you only care about showcasing the age. If you go that route choosing a brand people know. But both age and cost alone are poor indicators of quality.

A 30 year old Scotch is a luxury item and sizable investment. I mean, you could buy a collection of Scotches from each region for the same price as one big whale. I actually would recommend doing that route if you're celebrating a milestone. You'll not only enjoy a vast far more amount of alcohol, but you'll also have a range of different taste from the many bottles you purchased.

Not to mention that you would hate feeling like you spent a lot of money on something you ended up hating. A lot of the whiskey events showcase older expression from 25 years and up. I would just suggest going to that if you're still relatively young and want to drink something that is simply older than yourself.

I know my analogies are god awful and I try to avoid using them whenever possible on here, but you wouldn't walk into a car dealership and say you want a car for X amount made on X year. You could walk away with just about anything. Same goes for Scotch. All the way from a minivan to a convertible. Add in that you wouldn't buy a car without at least driving it once.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A Very Unpopular Opinion Toward Obama

A Very Unpopular Opinion Toward Obama

Much like with salad, I'm not going to be making friends with what I'm about to say about Obama. But hey, before I say anything bad, let's just remember that he has a big stick...

Anyhow, on to serious things. Okay Obama. I think we've had our fun but it's time to stop asking me for my money. You seriously need to stop asking me to contribute $10 to you. It's gotten to the point that I'm telling his campaign phone operators to stop calling my cell phone.. Only now I'm getting mailers. Oh, if only I could go back and punch 2008's version of me in the face. Also to buy apple stocks.

But anyhow, let's just take a look at the options this time in the elections;

One is a lying scheming warmongering millionaire lackey of the ruling class who is completely out of touch with the American worker, the other is the former governor of Massachusetts

Oh yeah, I guess one also eats dogs.. Heey-ooooh. The worst thing about the dog eating is that I feel like I have to actually defend this asshole for it on the basis of logic alone. Damn you Obama! But hey, let's take a look at all the positive things being spouted off about our dear president..

Obama needs to speak of his accomplishments in office and as it is he actually was President when Osama Bin Laden was killed. To the critics of Obama, I thought elections is a presentation of your "resume" to the nation telling what your have done, if and incumbent, and will continue or promising what you will do if you're challenging the current President. Oh by the way here are a few other accomplishments of this President:
1. Controlled the recession so that it did not become catastrophic
2. Saved GMC and Chrysler Motors
3. Restored Ameican credibility in the world stage
4. Backed the austere of Muammar Gaddafi
5. Surgically eliminated senior Al Quaeda's leaderships
6. Passed financial reform laws to control wall street
7. Maintained security in the Homeland, No terrorist attack
8. Saved two Americans on the Seas, ordered the killing of Pirates.
9. Passed a health care bill for all Americans
10. Kept the Banks of your hard earn cash in limiting their overdraft fees.
11. Worked behind the scene for the rocky transition to democracy in Yemen

The list go on and on. We need to look beyound the rethoric of the other side

I'm laughing pretty loudly at how bad this President is that the fucking pirate thing actually makes your top ten accomplishments. I'm not even sure where to start. Well, let's look at #5 on the list.
5. Suergically eliminated senior Al Quaeda's leadership
Yes, surgical like a surgeon making the incision wit a chainsaw and then decapitating the OR nurse while putting it down. And not to mention looking at #11, Holy shit that list has to be satire. Literally none of these things is true or even have permanent good even in the short term of things. None of those things would be good things anyway even if they were true except #1.

But hey, Obama did legalize farm child labor. But hey, maybe I actually mean "Made it possible for small family farms to compete against big agribusiness". What else is there? Saved not one, but dig this, two Americans. Sadly that's more than the number of Americans he had assassinated.

So what can be the slogan for his run this November? I know--
Obama 2012: I will literally murder a philistine for you, Israel
At this point I can't decide if I wanna vote Green or SPUSA. Someone should tell me about the other options that I can vote for. You know, like other civilized parts of the country- and no one tell me I should vote for Ron Paul 2012.. Fuck that.

Then again, not voting is a good option as well. That or just doing some silly write in vote. In fact, if you don't plan on writing in Stalin, what are you doing reading my blog?

But anyhow -- Maybe it's selection bias, but there seems to be a shocking number of people I know who just aren't voting this time around. Either that or they have realized thew whole national electoral system is a farce? But perhaps it should be my mission to make sure they're not voting for the right reasons. If it's "both parties are capitalist imperialist" then hey, no problem. But if they're just going off some privileged south park notion of "it doesn't matter as it will all work out anyway" faux-apathy, then they need to get a good smack across the head to get some sense into them.

Because really, its been a whole mess of Obama saying shit like "I continue to torture and kill human beings but look at these abs". But who can blame anyone, He's one hell of a charmer. Just look at him at the correspondence dinner..

Oh SNAP! Obama got jokes! You look at those 16 minutes and you just think that if he doesn't know shit about the economy, he's still better than most stand up comedians. He even ripped the hell into Romney.

For as much as I think he's a worthless President, you gotta laugh at the opening introduction where he says;
my mother was born in Kansas, my father was born in Kenya, and I was born in Hawaii *wink*
Oh Obama- You got yourself some comedy timing right there. But I'm sure it's more to the point that he probably hired a couple Daily Show writers to do his correspondents' dinner speeches. But hey, even Richard Pryor had joke writers. You just can't beat Obama's charm... but just remember that even Charles Manson was a charming fella.

I did get a good chuckle at that secret service joke at the end.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I Like Parrots

I Like Parrots

I have to say it, I like parrots.

They seem happy.

Lovebirds are awesome. They will hang out on your shoulder and your hair and inside your shirt and fall asleep. They will also eventually learn to crawl outside your shirt before pooping. Which I guess there's just a learning curve. This period really does sound both trying and rewarding

But hey, it's hard to get mad because they are all adorable and very affectionate. Also, their poop is tiny and not really all that smelly.

Lovebirds are really affectionate but also kind of jerks. They are a bird of contrasts. So they're just cats with wings. You just better hope that the lovebird you got sold is actually a lovebird and not just a likebird. Otherwise you'll feel ripped off.

So yeah. I want a pet parrot. Or maybe two, otherwise who knows if they'll have a friend to talk to? But how could you not want a bird?! Birds rule! Any animal that was a dinosaur is cool. Who wouldn't want a dinosaur that eventually turned into something named Lovebirds. And best of all, they build their own nest.

They will do so by chewing up every god damn single piece of paper you have in your home.

Cute levels are off the charts.

Parrots are awesome that way, but remember that they are also jerks. All of them. So they're exactly like cats. Or maybe they're like children. Large parrots, depending on the species, are essentially toddlers. They're incredibly smart, often have an incredible mean streak, and if they're not raised properly, will be problem birds.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Stop For a Moment and Look Around

Stop For a Moment and Look Around

Life is difficult. Very, very difficult. With all the struggles you have to overcome on a daily basis and stress that is dumped on you, it's nice to just realize that as shitty as life can be, there's so much beauty out there.

I think that every now and then you just need to stop and look at the little and big things in life that make it so wonderful to soak in. For as difficult as it has been for me the last few months, I can't help but look at these pictures and just feel an evocation of joy and happiness.

Thanks for taking this moment with me and just enjoying some sights that will make all those problems- not be resolved, but at the very least realize that there's something out there that negates how awful of feeling you can currently have.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Therapy - And A Bit Of My Sanity

Therapy - And A Bit Of My Sanity

This may not surprise you to know, but I id go to a therapist when I was younger. I had a slew of problems. Kaiser was like a second home to me. I went there a lot because I was a fucking moron and always got myself injured or sick. From a burn wound I still feel ashamed of and rarely wear shorts because, to my idiot sisters leaving a needle on the carpet and thus getting surgery for in my knee.

I did grow up with a stammer. Which many thought was due to bullies or some shit. Which I wont say I didn't have a problem with, because I did. I was one of those frightened little kids. So at an early age I went to therapy. I'm pretty sure I repressed something, but hell if I know what it is. Just goes to show you that I repressed it well enough.

Now in my older age I feel like I want to go to therapy. Only I wish I could actually afford it.. and actually find a therapist I would be able to open up to. I tried. It was so ridiculous going to them for the explicit purpose of talking to them about things I feel bad about, and then when I would get there I would be completely unable of talking about it because some part of me would be like "No one wants to hear you complain" even though I was paying them for the sole purpose of me complaining. That is their job! I don't understand myself..

What ends up happening is that you just sit there for a while and then you just start lying through your teeth. Maybe if they're lucky you'll just talk about stuff that wasn't really what you wanted to talk about, which meant that we spent a lot of time talking about how I'm doing in school rather than how much I hate myself and felt so lacking of self worth because I'm a scumbag and a loser with no friends.

Last weekend I sort of lost it. I was pretty much broken and shattered -- much like the window that was shattered into pieces from some dumb fucks who were too drunk from a local party. The window laid in pieces on my floor for a couple of days, I have to admit to that. I wasn't prompt in picking up the pieces, but then again it was sort of a metaphor for life. . . at least my life at the moment.

Over the past 8 months I have been living on what could be called a sort of state of constant stress. I woke up to stress. Phone calls from people I didn't want to hear from or avoided at all cost. For a while my job dried up. There's no sugar coating it, I was living for the moment and putting my head between my legs and preparing for the next big hit. My sights couldn't see anything into next week, let alone next month. I was beyond stressed out and mentally collapsing. Which

I don't think I've ever been as emotionally or mentally beaten down as I am right now. I know, I should just hang in there. It will get better, I keep telling myself. At least I stopped saying "Things can't get worse". Mainly because when I said that, they somehow did. It was as if the universe heard me dare it to suck and suddenly it stepped up to the task.

So I don't know. Shit will get better. One day at a time and all that jazz. I'm sure that with it being spring cleaning, this cleansing of myself and all the shit in my life is probably a welcome thing and something I will be happy about come six months from now.

Friday, May 11, 2012

In Which The President Finds His Inner Diva

In Which The President Finds His Inner Diva

You know how the President's views on gay marriage have been, for the last three years, "evolving"? Well, it looks like the pokemon that is his inner sanity has finally come out to its final evolution state: Acceptance.

President Obama today announced that he now supports same-sex marriage, reversing his longstanding opposition amid growing pressure from the Democratic base and even his own vice president.

In an interview with ABC News’ Robin Roberts, the president described his thought process as an “evolution” that led him to this decision, based on conversations with his staff members, openly gay and lesbian service members, and his wife and daughters.

“I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors, when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together; when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married,” Obama told Roberts in an interview to appear on ABC’s “Good Morning America” Thursday.

Congrats, Obama. Here is your cookie!

Or wait, I'm pretty sure he should at least stop killing people before we give him this particular cookie.

The question you should ask is if any of this will change anything that happened in NC the other day? The answer is NO! So this coming out by Obama is as useful as him wishing you a good day then. Then again, admittedly, I find that better than the "fuck you" he was previously wishing daily.

But hey, this is it, folks. He's finally cashing in his political capital to state an opinion. He's truly doing it! Hope 2012. Obama! OBAMA! He favors marriage equality now just like he favored single-payer health care in 2008. He gives hope and then changes again so that the same refurbished and somewhat aged hope can make the rounds for yet another election year.

Speaking of which, how fortunate that his views on civil rights managed to "evolve" just in time for the presidential elections. O' Lord Of Change of Tzeentch, chaos god of hope, change and progress. The symbols is a tzeentchiite mark of chaos but fits oddly well.

He should probably think about actually trying to get DOMA repealed if his position has actually changed and this isn't empty rhetroic. But hey, I'm sure Obama will make good on all those promises. "That executive order to end DOMA should come any day now, I swear I put it in the mail last week."

He's pretty much said "My position hasn't changed but please pay attention to and vote for me and also give me your money, gay people"
-President Nobel Peace Prize Winner Barack H. Obama.

You know, I got better names for him. how about His Majesty The President, Lord Protector of the United States, Nobel Peace Prize Winner B-rock "The Islamic Shock" Hussein Superallah Obama.

It's funny because if not for George Washington, we would be calling him His Majesty right now.

Really makes you think.

What also makes you think is that the Log Cabin Republicans' R. Clarke Cooper was pretty quick to attempt to discredit Obama's announcement, calling it "Cold comfort" and "offensive and callous" in the wake of the defeat in North Carolina yesterday.
“This administration has manipulated LGBT families for political gain as much as anybody, and after his campaign’s ridiculous contortions to deny support for marriage equality this week he does not deserve praise for an announcement that comes a day late and a dollar short,” Cooper said.

He got completely owned by the log cabin republicans of all people. Fucking hell. But it's true. It's hard to minimize his support when his support consists entirely of saying he supports it in an interview once.

That's the real route of the problem here. That "I think the states should decide" is pretty much always code for being a spineless milquetoast on an issue. Allowing it to regress at best and helping it regress is even worse.

Just imagine Lincoln talking about slavery in such a manner;
"Yeah gosh now I've thought about it slavery really is unfair. States' Rights tho" ~Abe Lincoln surfs out of the debating chamber on a tide of campaign donations
I simply look forward to this sincere opinion being reflected in federal policy much like Obama stated opposition to federal raids on state medical marijuana facilities informed the actions of the DEA and DOJ under his control.

In short - Fuck Obama. God damn, I just find it harder and harder to justify my vote for the man..

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A Really Long Goodbye

A Really Long Goodbye

Now, I probably shouldn't be talking much about this since I had to deal with someone giving me the Marla Singer phone call a couple of weeks back, but I came across this story and was shocked to see that this guy killed himself and left a 1900 page suicide note. Which, after page 1, it no longer becomes a note.

The man who took his own life on Harvard's campus Saturday left a 1,904-page suicide note online.

According to the Harvard Crimson, Mitchell Heisman wrote "Suicide Note," posted at, while living in an apartment near the school. The note is a "sprawling series of arguments that touch upon historical, religious and nihilist themes," his mother, Lonni Heisman, told the Crimson. She said her son would have wanted people to know about his work.

The complex note, divided into four parts, touches on Christianity, the Holocaust and social progress, among other topics, and mentions Harvard several times.

IvyGate calls the note "probing, deeply researched, and often humorous."

Heisman was 35 when he shot himself on the steps of Harvard's Memorial Church Saturday. He had a bachelor's degree in psychology from the University of Albany. According to the Crimson, he worked in area bookstores and lived on inheritance from his father, who died when he was young.

So I'm reading this suicide-manifesto and thinking this guy is crazy. But that's a 'no duh' moment right there. It's long, really long. But it basically diverges widely from simple nihilism theme as well as having an interesting introductory chapters that caught my attention.

Opening one’s mind to death emerges from the attempt to unshackle one’s mind from the limitations of all borders. It leads to overcoming all biological boundaries, including borders between the “self” and the larger world. It reaches towards the elimination of biologically based prejudices altogether, including prejudice towards biological selfpreservation. The attempt to go beyond ethnocentrism and anthropomorphism leads towards overcoming the prejudices of what I call viviocentrism, or, life-centeredness. Just as overcoming ethnocentrism requires recognition of the provincialism of ethnic values, overcoming viviocentrism emerges from the recognition of the provincialism of life values. Viviocentric provincialism is exposed through an enlarged view from our planet, our solar system, our galaxy, and the limits of our knowledge of the larger cosmos we live in.

Overcoming the prejudice against death, then, is only an extension and continuation of the Western project of eliminating bias, especially biologically based biases (i.e. race or sex based biases).
The liberation of death is only the next step in the political logic that has hitherto sought to overcome prejudices based on old assumptions of a fixed biological human nature. Its opposite is an Aristotelian, teleological conception of nature; a nature of natural slaves, natural aristocracy, natural patriarchy, natural inferiority of women, natural racial kinds, natural heterosexuality and, finally, natural self-preservation. This older, teleological view suggests that individual self-preservation is an expression of a fixed biologically based nature that culture and/or reason is incapable of changing, altering, or overcoming. Just as it was considered unnatural or even insane that men be loosed from “natural” subordination to their king, or that women be unchained from “natural” subordination to their fathers and husbands, today it is considered unnatural that death be liberated from its “natural” subordination to the tyranny of life. From this point of view, one can recognize that the pro-choice stance on abortion and the right to die stance on euthanasia have already opened paths over conventional pro-life superstitions. These developments towards the liberation of biological death may lead to what may be the highest fulfillment of egalitarian progress: the equality of life and death.

Further liberations of death should challenge one’s convictions in the same way that egalitarianisms of the past have challenged common assumptions and convictions: the equality of all men, the equality of the races, the equality of the sexes, the equality of sexual orientations, the equality of the biological and physical, and the equality of life and death. Overcoming the “will to live”, then, represents one of the final steps in overcoming the provincial and “primitive” life instincts probably inherited from our evolutionary past, i.e. inclinations towards patriarchy, authoritarianism, sexism, kinism, and racism. It is not only a contribution to civilization but a culmination of the progress of civilization, that is, the application of reason to human existence. Only when the will to live itself is civilized, can one be free to acknowledge that reason itself does not dictate a bias towards life.

I'm still not sure if this will amount to an insightful work or just a large amount of rambling time cube ewque diatribe, but if nothing else, it takes a brave person to write a whole lot of thinking words and then kill themselves as not a reaction, but as a culmination in practice of those thoughts.

The full 1900 page text is avaliable for download at SUICIDE NOTE dot INFO

I guess I should first start off by saying that 'The will to live is primitive' is the biggest emo bullshit I have heard in a while. And considering my last few months of being down, that's saying something. Why didn't he just wait for the singularity and be done with it?

I'm probably going to be a huge jerk about this, but I don't understand the kind of evangelical nihilism which would make a dude write 1900 pages about why living is a dumb thing to do. I just don't get it.

So far I have read through the first 50 or so pages and flipped through a lot of it. What the hell is with the large segments about the Norman invasion of England? Was that some sort of a pet subject for him or something? And he sure talked about Jews an awful lot it seems. Maybe he just wanted to have his manifesto be taken seriously.

It does strike me as more sinister than an intellectual justification for suicide because, as his mother said, he wanted people to read it. Not because he'd written a goodbye cruel world screed, but because he wanted people to follow him like some kind of apocalyptically solipsistic pied piper.

I think that honestly believing in nihilism needs some kind of tendency towards melancholic depression, but what freaks me the hell out is the need to proselytize and evangelize. That strikes me as seriously narcissistic and misanthropic.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not equipped to make a philosophical analysis of his idea of nihilism, but I will admit to being susceptible to the idea in general. My tendency probably stems from a modern alienation type of place and I've been thus far content to stop at absurdism and read The Myth of Sisyphus over and over until the feelings pass.

I also take issue with the fact that he seems to think that things like patriarchy are all 'human nature' which sounds like a bad justification. Going 'Welp, humans are naturally oppressive, time to shoot myself' is really lazy. Instead of thinking 'patriarchy/racism/homophobia/cissexism is bad and to counter it I will change my beliefs, thoughts and actions', he just goes 'LOL Time to die'.

It all comes across as pretty privileged position to me as well. Obviously the dude had some sort of sad brains, though, so I don't want to vilify him or anything like that. I know I go through some pretty dark times... oh, I know that all too well the last half year or so.