Friday, November 30, 2018



This post won't really matter to you if you aren't one of those folks who wanders around Downtown Disney at all. I mean, It's going to generally yap on about how the park this and that or whatever, but yeah. Just a little bit of a warning and now writing this out I feel sort of stupid for doing so.

Anyhow, in the Downtown Disney area of the Disney Resort where ESPN zone, Rain forest Cafe and Earl of Sandwich is located, right before the other Disneyland hotels, there was a major construction plan to build a diamond resort to increase, well, who knows. I thought the idea was pretty dumb since you just have all those other Disney hotels right there, but Disney figured why not and since they pay the city essentially nothing with all the incentives they get, they went for it. Closed down all those spots, including the movie theater and then the project sat.

And sat....

for a really long time.

Why? Well, a report came out about how little Disney pays in taxes to the city for the property of parking lot that they put up and a lot of folks got mad and started reviewing all the future projects. This five star hotel was one of them.

You see, it's a complicated situation. On the one hand, I think the tax breaks given to this multi-billion dollar business are absurd, but in the other hand, I love the shrewdness of the Disney business move of basically saying if you aren't going to give us the tax incentives, well then we're not going to build a hotel that will bring in millions in tax revenue for Anaheim and provide over 1000 permanent jobs. The pettiness is just oh so sweet.

For the most part, the whole project is just as dead as a doorknob. The empty ESPN ZONE and Rainforest cafe remain. Earl of Sandwich re-opened and the movie theater is still closed and probably gutted by now.  So I have to ask, why don't we have an Indiana Jones themed restaurant up in this bitch already?

Disney Springs, or whatever the fuck they want to call Downtown Disney in Florida has their own version of a nod to Indiana Jones in Jock Lindsey's bar. It's that one character that you see flying the plane in Raiders of the lost Ark. Seriously, he had a total of 4 minutes screen time and they decided to do a low key Indiana Jones themed bar at a disney resort for him.  So why can't the original resort get something along those lines?

The Rain Forest Cafe was god awful in every possible way you can describe a place to eat. The food, the service, the "show", but the building itself looks perfect for a make over and turning it into an Indiana Jones themed dining experience with a bar. It looks like a temple and I can picture the food themed as well as drink and most of all, the area. The area is perfect for something Doctor Jones would be seen in. So Disney, can we please work on this?

It may not be a 700 room luxury five star hotel, but it's fucking the perfect thing to do with that location and you really don't want to bring Rainforest cafe back, do you? That just lowered your image and brand appeal. But putting in an internal property based item here. Now that is something everyone can get behind.

Think about it. Call me. I have ideas for drinks and food items.

Thursday, November 29, 2018



There's a line in the Big Lebowski where Walter is going on about how he shouldn't even be driving because it is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest and the Dude explains that he's not even Jewish, that he's polish catholic. Goes on about his ex wife was Jewish and well, the whole thing is typical Big Lebowski like, but it did strike a nerve with me.

Here, enjoy the super cut of all the Jewish things Walter goes on about;

So why did it strike a nerve with me? Well, I was in a relationship that spanned just about 10 years myself with someone who, while wasn't religious practicing, was very very much culturally Jewish. With her family, which after all that time, really felt like my family, I would enjoy the holidays like Passover and Hanukkah. Also, being who I am, I like to delve deep into the cultural histories and the food you enjoy with it.

This year I will not have a Hanukkah, and that's a strange feeling. I can really relate to Walter there. While I am not born into a Jewish family. Nor was I raised on it. I have lived that life for the last decade. Being that I have only really had less than 40 years alive, and to be fair, 10 of those being too young to even realize what the fuck was going on around me, that means that 1/3rd of my life, I have been culturally practicing Jewish.

I also realize that when I was a young lad, I was an alter server and heavy into helping out in the grown up Catholic church that I was raised in because of my family. I walked away from the Church in my late teens and never looked back. So if we're being technical, I was actively and coherently a practicing Culturally Jewish person for longer than the religion that I was raised on.

So yeah, just because you get divorced, which I essentially felt is what happened to my relationship, then you can't just walk away from the traditions that you practiced for all those years. I know for a fact that my ex still does culturally related items that I brought to the table - like Day of the Dead festivities and other Spanish related celebrations that I pushed for us.

So when I say I'm culturally Jewish, that's what it's about. So when I have a huge feast and put out my menorah or make potato pancakes, don't look at me odd or tell me that I'm not Jewish.  I live in Pico/Robertson area, I have practiced these traditions for 10 years now and they are now part of me. So you're goddamn right that I'm Jewish. 

Wednesday, November 28, 2018



You know, by now you should realize that I talk about Costco like Buba from Forest Gump talks about shrimp. I know that shit inside and out. I once worked there in my youth pushing those god awful carts with a piece of fucking rope. I go on average of about two times a week to a costco. I live that Costco lifestyle.

But let's just talk about the gas.

It's cheap there. Really cheap. You need a membership to access the gas pumps, and the price is really good, but let's just say that sometimes that cheap price brings a lot of crowds out to it. The last time I drove by the local costco with a gas station the line to get in to the pumps was wrapped in an insane fashion for at least a quarter mile and about 50 cars deep just to get in there. That's the worst I have ever seen it. I just flat out refuse to pump gas at the Alhambra one because the line is always stupid insane as well.

So the thought comes to mind that yeah, you're saving a few bucks, but you're burning so much savings by idling in line for gas, so you may a well be better off going somewhere else for a quick fill up. Not to mention that you're also wasting a lot of precious time.

I mean, I've been poor and desperate to save a few bucks whenever possible, but even then I'd say that $3.15 for costco gas vs $3.25 for any other station for a 10-15 gallon tank for like a whole $2 savings is jut not worth spending 30 minutes waiting and the amount of gas you are using standing there. I'm also not really patient, so I guess that just rules out my ability to do any of that shit.

The times I have gone to a costco gas is if my tank is almost empty and I'm at costco or near one and there's no line or anything. But otherwise, fuck that shit. It's just not worth the zoo that you have to deal with when I can be in and out at any other place for a buck or two more.

Tuesday, November 27, 2018



At this point of the year. A year that has had so much pain and heartache I just figure that yeah, of course another one of my cats will in fact not make it out of this year alive. Sure enough my cynical self was right. I try not to be so  cynical, yet here I am.

Rogue passed away today. He was a stray cat that was, to my best guess, was Helena's first son I found on the streets. It was amazing that he was alive for how long that he was. But the outside strays of the time, Guinness and Bastion took him in as one of their own little buddies. Guinness was his best friend and you couldn't see them apart. I was half way tempted to bring both Guinness and Rogue in to the building but Guinness would not stop spraying. I brought in Rogue and for a bit Guinness would be at the door talking to his little kitten buddy.  I would let Guinness in to play with him for a bit of time here and there but for the most part, Guinness didn't last long out there.

Rogue had new friends inside. Remy and Goldberg took to him very well, he would sleep in the middle between them and was the cutest little grey fluff that you could imagine. He was really social with any cat that I would rescue and foster, but people he wasn't too keen on - so trying to find him a home was a bit difficult for that very reason. He liked me enough but had his shyness about him.

When Helena gave birth to the liter of kittens inside the apartment building, he loved playing and pouncing on them as they were very easy targets. Stout the one who looked like Guinness the most was his favorite to pick off because he was slow and a much larger target.

Rogue was named Rogue because he liked Remy a lot and I was just going with an X-men theme, even though they were both male cats. I mean, it wasn't implication, but they were really close. That and his meow was so shrill and long that it really did sound like he was saying his own name a lot  "Rooooooooooogue".  He was a good little guy with the funniest looking kitten face. All grey like his mother Helena, though she really didn't like it much that he was inside along with her. I think her interest was to get rid of all her kittens at that time before she switched to being a loving mom.

Rogue grew up inside. I mean, he was always a pretty adventurous cat and always liked to hide in the shadows, something he could do very well. I would joke around that he looked like the agent of the nothing from the Never ending story. Gamork

Though, to be honest over the years he sort of stopped really being close to me and did his own thing. To the point where he sort of was scared of me when he was eating dry food and I suddenly just said his name and he'd look at me like with eyes of a deer in headlights. So yeah, I feel bad that he didn't get as much love as he should have from me. Whenever I would surprise pet him he'd freak out and not know what to do. As if there was anything to do but accept the scratches I was laying down for him, ya know. 

Rogue was a damn solid cat. I hope that he got the best life he could with me and that I did provide the best. It's tough out there I know for a fact he wouldn't have survived long, especially since Guinness wasn't out there for much longer after I brought Rogue in. So I guess I'll hold on to that and that this slinky cat who never fully trusted people got 10+ years of life to enjoy and a lot of companionship. But I would be lying to you if I didn't say that this month of a wave of pets dying off on me isn't taking its emotional toll on me and chipping away the bits and pieces of my humanity.

I ended up burying Rogue near Helena and even though he tortured kitten Indiana and Fred, Fred liked him a lot and so they'll be in the same plot of land which has become a disturbing make shift pet cemetery on city land.

R.I.P. Little Rogue

Monday, November 26, 2018



My father wasn't actually a location scout. But I heard him talk about that being his big dream to be for the longest time. He was an architect. Went to school at cal poly Pomona, studied hard, landed himself a little gig working for the City of Los Angeles as part of the City Redevelopment Agency. You may have heard of that. It got closed up a couple of years ago under Jerry Brown to save the state money. He retired long before that. But in that place he overlooked the redevelopment programs in the area around USC, Downtown L.A. and Korea Town. All that is fancy and new is basically his doing.

The point I'm making? While that was his job, he had a side passion. Having an eye on locations for filming. Or just in general finding places that had multiple purposes and most of all, knowing where every fucking thing was filmed. We would drive in Downtown and he would point to a spot and just talk about which scenes from what films were filmed at that spot. I was a little amazed with it when I was young and I could tell that he had an eye for that sort thing.  So while he loved redevelopment, and shit, some of the most prolific areas in this city are what they are now because of his hard work and designs, I know deep down he always wanted to just work on films.

I eventually did that and I still don't think he was very proud of me. Years after he has died, I'm still wondering what it was, because having worked in the film and television industry for so long, I know what it was that made him tick in terms of having that little bit of knowledge. That in back of your head sort of mental image that sometimes throws you out of the moment when you're watching a film and you realize that the location isn't actually the mid-west, that's Pasadena on Green St.  Or that it's not some market place in Mexico, that's over in East L.A. on first.

Yeah, that one happens a lot. Sons of Anarachy's spin off, Mayans, just seems to love using east L.A. to film just about everything. I don't find them any fault in that. for my brief stint on The Shield, East L.A. was pretty much a daily filming spot. Which when I lived there, I guess was a blessing.

But anyhow, my father gave me the tools I needed for this trick of mine. It's a bit of a curse, but also a little strange to feel like I actually got something productive from a man who just totally was checked out of my life and living a sort of plate spinning situation through his own life.

I'm thankful for it. It's a trait that I am using for other purposes. It helps me with that side passion of my own, finding historical and unique spots in Los Angeles, this city that I love and have lived for the majority of my life in. My father's ability and training in searching for those side nooks and crannies that are dropped all over the city for prime filming also serve as places that I find the most unique and interesting aspects of this city. It's a bit of a gift to have that sort of mentality to go out a search and then retain that in mind and reference it when needed - all tactics location scouts use to find that perfect spot to film what the script is calling for.

Well, that's just a bit about me. 

Sunday, November 25, 2018



Honestly at this point I try to avoid them all. And really, that's saying something because I used to be a huge consumer whore. But the concept of waiting through masses of people to get to any of these anymore just is not my thing at this point of my life

First off, if you need to buy something for the folks in your life to show them you care and just can't spend time with them than perhaps I should recommend that you change your circle of friends. I know, that's a little much, but let's just call a spade a spade, too many people put themselves in debt buying shit they didn't need or stuff they didn't have to in order to show others that they care. More than anything, you shouldn't put yourself in debt for "sales" that will eventually cost you more in the long run in interest rates and fees in paying off the debt you are incurring.

Black Friday has turned into a shit show. Mobs of folks who avoid the dinner table or rush through the time together with family just to get to shopping throughout the night and into the morning on deals that aren't very much of a deal.

I drove by a shopping area that thanksgiving night and it was slammed in bumper to bumper traffic trying to get into these outlet shops. It made me feel a bit sad. I mean, there I was lamenting of the fact that I don't really have that much of a family currently to even spend the holidays with, so much so that I just went to Disney on Thanksgiving night, and here are all these folks going for Black Friday deals even before the day is done.

Cyber monday is the same shit and I'm sure I'll get another 100 emails alerting me of lame ass deals I have no interest in taking advantage of. In fact, it concerned me to think about how much e-commerce I have done this past year if the amount of emails was to that level. Cyber monday is also about self needs as well and let's not pretend that's not a lie. If you're buying online, it's more than likely to get yourself something than it is to get someone else something. Your algorithm points you to far more of your own interest than your friends. So let's call a spade a spade, it's all just buying shit for yourself with this illusion that you're holiday shopping and being productive in getting it out of the way sooner.

Small Business Saturday is also something that feels like a thing made up to make you feel good, but that doesn't actually really do much. Don't get me wrong, I shop small businesses whenever I can... any other day of the year. Those who tout about business Saturday usually don't give a flying fuck about those small businesses for the vast majority of the time.. you know, when they actually need that sort of longevity of revenue coming in.

I don't generally advocate for small business saturday because those who aren't currently shopping with small businesses really don't have the exposure to them as it is, let alone enough to check them out the day fucking after they blew all their bigger purchases at big box stores that can offer huge discounts. On top of that with black friday so close, folks have this expectation that small businesses need to offer them huge discounts as well, which they can't because they're small businesses. So it puts them in this odd situation of trying to meet needs of the consumer that they shouldn't be trying to in the first place at the risk of suffering as a business as a whole.

Wow, that's a very cynical point of view, right? But still, you should be pushing and telling friends of small shops and linking them to Etsy stores year round in stuff you think they would like in order to fully support them. Telling them to care about them on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and right before the month of folks attempting to buy shit for others and trying to ignore their own wants is just not very helpful to anyone.

In any case, just try to stay alive and try not to keep this consumerism going for too long. It's not very healthy in the long run. You can't buy your happiness. You'll just run out of cash long before you do. 

Saturday, November 24, 2018

McRibed For Your Pleasure

McRibed For Your Pleasure

Well, the fucking McRibb is back. For those of you who do not know what this thing is, it's a sandwich you get from McDonalds that is really only around for a limited time yearly or something. I don't know. It's made up of pork slurry that is somehow shaped into an oblong patty, slathered in a barbecue related sauce and than shoved with some onions and pickles onto a terrible roll and tossed into a box.

Shit is pretty gross when you look at it. It wants to look like some ribs you get at a classic bbq spot, and it has a painted on char line which makes you question reality and existence all at the same time. In fact, one of the highest moments of pride should be when you get a big bite of it and suddenly are faced with one of those huge unchewable nubs of gristle that not even the meat grinder could process out. That's like winning the lotto.

Mcrib and the meatball sub from Subway are the 2 garbage tier menu items that for some reason people clamor their praise for. I don't know why, but McRibs constantly come with three times the amount of sauce it needs and looks like they rolled it down a hill on its way to the bag. The onions are all over the fucking place and, well, I mean, guess what, why am I even trying to think this would be presented in any fashion other than "a mess" 

It's not even that rare. You can get frozen rib patties at the store that aren't much better in flavor, I mean, but at least you'll be able to save a few bucks. Then again, having food be cheaper when you buy it from the market has never stopped anyone wanting to go to McDonalds.

Let's also get it out of the way, even though the way they sell this hunk of meat covered in sauce suggest that there was a limited number of McRibs made in 1983 and that's all they have, so they need to keep it off the menu other than the three months out of the year so that it can slowly reproduce and bring up the numbers, I doubt that is actually true. While I'm sure the fall out storage vault that holds these McRibs is not going to run out any time soon as long as pigs have assholes and noses to get their meat from.

Nostalgia is probably the biggest motivating force on why the sandwich still exist. When you eat a McRib, you are eating a part of history. And although your body may not be getting nourished, your soul will be. A mouthful of wholesome goodness that nostalgia can provide.

Let's face the fact, fast food will never capture the essence of BBQ. That slow cooking magic needs to be just that. Slow. You can't just slap it through a fast food window and get the same effect. But we shouldn't expect that anyway. It's like they spent billions of dollars on research on how to make the perfect McDonalds burger patty and then for the McRib, they figured out that in 83, they could just pack up some pig assholes and cover it in sauce and call it a day. There's no seasoning to the pork at all and that I could detect, probably because the sauce is shouting at your taste buds so you can't really tell how putrid the meat is.

Simply put, the McRib is probably the worst item on the McDonalds menu and that's really an achievement I'm amazed can be achieved. Then again, the McRib is around all year in German, so depending on your view on this meat sandwich of sauce, it does make you wonder who really won the war.. or at least what the definition of a war crime really is.

Friday, November 23, 2018



Millennials aren't buying hogs all that much. I mean, let's be real, they're not buying much of anything given the current economical situation they face. But because of it, many Harley Davidson locations are closing and their plants are shuttering due to declining sales. the baby boomers all have motorcycles and Generation X is only buying a very few and the MillennialS are just not stepping up to the plate to purchase.

There can be a lot of factors to this, but here's some that may be taken into consideration;  but I'm sure your typical old person will just blame them being lazy. I mean, maybe Millennial don't need to straddle an expensive device to kill themselves, society is doing a pretty good job at doing it for them already. And on top of that, being loud, annoying and hopelessy buying a stupid toy to regain some lost sense of rebellion is just no longer considered all that cool?  They also cost more than it takes to support a family of 5 in Iowa for a year and thus, you know, crushing student loans just don't allow them the means to, not to mention the company could make mor emoney off jackets and boots if the damned things didn't last for decades.

It's really an image problem. Old people are just simply not cool. Old people like Harleys, ergo Harley will die as a company because their dumb ass couldn't innovate their way out of a paper bag. They had that electric bike for a bit and there is an attempt to appeal to a younger group, but they are just a dumb old company depending on dumb old money.

Not to mention that millennials all played the hell out of GTA and realize that it is increasingly very easy to end your life in creative ways with them, thus why would you even want that temptation? They're a lot smarter than to not realize that Harley's are overpriced and intentionally poorly designed to get that just the right "Harley" sound. so fuck that noise. literally.

They were on the brink of death in 1969 and Dennis Hopper single handedly saved them. Before Easy Rider, they were known as garbage bikes. After Easy Rider, they were know as Rebel Bikes. Now they're known to millennials as "dad" or "drug dealer" bikes. They're equal parts garbage and all around just not cool.

The criminal association alone is tough to shake. Visible criminal stuff vs. actually trying to maintain a cool style, and then associated with bougie retired boomers trying to mimic said biker gangs and capture that rebel youth just make it sad. For my own sake, association with American patriotism is the biggest killer of the image and so cringe worthy. But provokes a special disgust from the generation that grew up post 9/11 patriot merchandise boom.

Flat out, their brand fucking sucks.

Thursday, November 22, 2018



Look, best move along if that's what you're hoping to find here. I'm really not. This year has given me very very little in the way of being thankful for. It seriously found every possible way to go "Oh, you're already down? Ha ha, fuck it. BOOM!" KICKED IN THE NUTS!  And then a good stomp and twist for good measure.

Too much? I guess. Look, I get it, today is suppose to be all about being Thankful for making it through hard times. The pilgrims, escaping religious persecution... irony aside that their settlement up on this bitch of a land would just lead to them persecuting other's religion. Yup, the cycle continues. Anyhow, the point I'm trying to make with that before I got all ADHD'ed out was that after a long journey, they were thankful for making it to this land. Sharing a meal and all that. So now we do the same thing in some commercialized crazy way.

I have no  plans for thanksgiving. After many many many years in a relationship where I depended too much on my significant other's family for the functions around this Holiday, I find myself without anything. My family shunned me for looking out for the interest of my mother when my father passed away. Yeah, that's still a head scratcher to me. And well, I haven't heard of any orphan Thanksgiving situation.

But really, I think the whole thing with that is also being somewhere not for the food, but for the feeling of family and belonging. And I've accepted the  fact that it's going to be a long time from now before I can get all that stuff back in the way of building something else.

I can't even find comfort with the strays I take care of because it has really brought me down that in the last 4 weeks, 3 of the ones I was caring after and that were essentially mine, passed away. So the heart is a little heavy right now. I also have a buddy who is getting married soon. Shit, I should be thrilled. I introduced them. They're my best friends. But it does make me feel a little bit raw about since essentially the department I had of having a partner went bust.

Okay, this is a ranting blog post. Nothing of real informational knowledge to be gained from this. I'm also trying really hard to not be a pity party. I get it, it's a time of year where you spend it with loved ones and reflect on the harshness that you have gone through in the year in preparation for winter, an even harder time. So I mean, I can't expect this to actually be even better or anything. It is what it is. I just sort of hoped I would feel better about the whole place and being on this green Earth right now. Well, not so much green but on fire. Yeah...

That's another thing, those wild fires that ravaged California were such a heavy thing to have to carry with. Both in your lungs but as a whole since it was very difficult to go far without finding someone who was effected by the closures and potential risk of losing it all.

So maybe I should be thankful. Thankful that I'm still around. Even if it's sort of in a state of not feeling great. I get the chance to make it better. Even if the prospect of Thanksgiving Dinner is to be solo.

Well, hope you are all enjoying it. Would you look at that, I didn't even touch on the troupe I always get on about commercialize and consumerism that is around Thanksgiving.... but now that you mention it.....

Also, fuck you whomever eats at 2pm. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that? Learn to eat at a proper time. Do you really need to rush out to Best Buy and beget your family when there's others out here who don't have a lot of loved ones to spend time with. You mother fuckers you..

Oh, great, I went at it. I'll just see myself out.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018



I have to admit, I'm still one of those that plays Pokemon Go. I don't know why, it's fun in times of boredom. But when they first announced a Detective Pikachu movie, I was scratching my head on as to how it would be.... um.. fun? I don't know. But seeing the trailer, I realize that it's the movie I never knew I wanted, but holy shit I want more of it already.

First, let's get this out of the way, Pikachu is a combination of Pika, a type of lagomorph and relative of a rabbit, and chu is the word for mouse's squeaking noise in Japan. That is how you get the creation of this creature. But because he was a detective in some 3DS game, they decided to port that into a film and well, you get this...

Yes, you just watched that. It exist. I mean, it just looks so surreal and well, what the hell not. But makes me wonder about the Detective Pikachu that I would envision.....

*Detective Pikachu surveilles the crime scene*

Watson: What do you think, detective? Everyone says it was Blastoise who killed Charizard! The inspector is holding him while we check the scene.

Pikachu: Pika pika, pi--ka! (No, dear Watson, I'm afraid Blastoise is being framed!)

Watson: Amazing! How do you know, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Pika pi, pi pika pikachu! (Judging from the contraction of Charizard's body we can surmise he was indeed killed by a water type pokemon. But the water canons in Blastoise's shell fire with great force, and it seems there is almost no water dispersal in the room at all. Almost no trace of water damage or exposure to any other contents in the room at all!)

Watson: By god, so he really was framed. But then who is the real killer?

Pikachu: Pikachu pi (elementary, my dear Watson). Pi--ka, pi pi, Pi-KA-chu, pika. (The inspector noted the unusual presence of mold in this dwelling. But mold thrives in damp environments, while Charizard's home would undoubtedly be hot and dry at all hours. An analysis of the enzymes reveals the truth. You see, many common molds share certain compositional elements with vines...)

Watson: Vines! Are you saying a plant-type did this? How could a plant-type overpower a fire-type? It's not very eff...

Pikachu: Pi!!! Pika pika? pi-KA-chu pika pi! Pika.... chu. (Overpower!! No dear Watson, not overpower. You see the concentration of moisture wear near the cracks in that wall? That is where he came in. That attacker was none other than Bulbasaur! From outside the building he worked his vines into the room and onto the ceiling, after having stored a great amount of water in them, water from Blastoise! Once the vines were poised over Charizard, his great heat withered them, and they released the water on him. That is how he was killed with seemingly no water damage to the surroundings. The attack was... super effective.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2018



At this point we can be honest with ourselves about this whole social media platform. It's really the fucking worse and we keep looking past the fact that you aren't really a person. No, you're nothing more than some data collected to sell you products. We accepted that when it comes to television that the program isn't really there for your enjoyment but simply to keep your attention in between advertisements.

Facebook started out as a means to socialize with your network of people, but once they realized how much your data was worth, the whole thing just became one big surveillance system disguised as a class reunion. Here's a pretty honest advertisement for the company made by John Oliver's Last Week Tonight;

Even more so when just a bit ago everyone noticed they had to log back into their account for some strange reason. Well, that reason was pretty fucking clear;

To protect your security, we may have recently logged you out of your Facebook account. On September 25th, 2018, we discovered an attack on our system where attackers stole Facebook access tokens. Access tokens are the equivalent of digital keys that attackers could then have used to take over other people's accounts. By logging people out, we prevent attackers from using the tokens to access these accounts.
We don't know yet if anyone's Facebook information was accessed, but we wanted to let you know what we're doing to protect your account. We're continuing to investigate the situation and have informed law enforcement about the issue. If we find that more people have been affected, we'll immediately log them out and then let them know what happened.
If you've been logged out, you will need to log back into your account to continue using Facebook or other apps you log into using Facebook. There's no need for anyone to change their passwords. But if you're having trouble logging back into your account,
Ah, so that explains why we all had to log back into facebook on all our devices. Clearly Facebook is fucking garbage

Now you're probably wondering, what the fuck important information do they have on me anyway? Nothing can be that useful, right? I mean. yeah. You are a pretty boring person after all. But even if you didn't throw anything personal away, you would be a little freaked out if someone was going through your trash specifically looking for tiny bits of information on you.  Do you want to be freaked out by how much information Google and Facebook collect on you? Well, don't read this then.  

I'm serious, that link is fucking scary when you think about how much small data social media and the other internet companies collect on you on the daily. I thought that those films we saw in our youth about an overreaching controlling government were just dystopian future views that could never come to be. That we would never accept that sort of world where we allow that much tracking on ourselves. Yet here we are. We choose to actively do this to ourselves all to show off to one another in how great our lives are. This is really scary and really sad. And yet our addiction to this technology will not allow us to stop giving away our information for the price of connectivity.

China is working on fully converting to a social merit base system where your lifestyle is completely dictated on how you get credit and where your status is. Buy booze in the stores and have your face recognized, and you may not be able to buy train tickets as you're lower on the social chain as other GOOD citizens. We look at that and think that's too far, yet we actively walk around giving our every location away, our daily activities and all other sorts of things to these companies who sell that info to third parties for who knows what purpose.

This shit is scary and I don't think we can get off this train ride anymore. We're all in and this is just going to get worse.

But hey, at least we know which friend's birthday it is and can see who's getting married soon!!!!

Monday, November 19, 2018



With it being the holidays right around the... holy shit, NEXT WEEK?!  Fuck! What the fuck, man. How is it already Thanksgiving so soon? I was not prepared for this shit and now I'm freaking out. Good news! The holidays is the time of year that it's perfectly accepted to not only give and receive copious amounts of alcohol, but it's also perfectly acceptable to drink so much because how else will you deal with the crushing realization that family sucks, your life is a mess and maybe, just maybe the new year will bring something that is not misery.

Ha ha. just kidding, nothing but death and despair is awaiting us in 2019.  Spoiler alert, I know. But still. What can we talk about Blended Scotch!

It's a simple gift for those who you just always assumed had a drinking problem and well, why not encourage that shiiiii during this time of the year.

Here's a hot take, forget the importance of single barrel cask. Blended scotch is something that you should be happy about. This whole obsession with single malt is just a stupid whiskey snob thing fromwhen you just could get a really good or a really bad bottle depending on the malt you chose. Master distillers are able to create rich and tapestries of interesting flavors in blended scotches more readily than a single origin whisky could on its own.  Especially with things like cognac where blends get you the depth of flavor you're looking for.

Also, this obsession with peat flavor is getting out of fucking hand. None is just flat out bad, a little is pretty good, but more reaches to the point of there being a diminishing return and you get to these bog monsters that taste like you're drinking liquid smoke and chewing on a box of cigars and dirt. It will, no matter what, over power every other subtle taste in that distillate. It's a fucking waste.

It's why the obsession with increasingly hoppy IPA's doesn't make you a beer snob, you just learn to like literally one flavor and your palate is totally wrecked otherwise. Learning to like something that has a one note strong flavor isn't a sign of mastering or even having any amount of sophistication.

That's why I say with confidence that many of the blended whiskys are among the best in the world and it has nothing to do with marketing. It's just plain and simple good flavors blending together. A good example of this is the Kirkland 28 year blend vs the 21 year single malt. Both were solid, but the 28 year blend blew it away in smoothness and flavor.

Usually when I get a single malt, I end up pretty disappointed one way or another in the long term on it. Blends, on the other hand, are consistently solid. So don't dismiss blended scotches cause they're fucking amazing.

Your drunk uncle will thank you for this piece of advice. Just be careful cause he'll go full racist after drinking some.

Sunday, November 18, 2018



You remember that movie, right?  Society can't have children anymore. I mean, it sounded like some sort of dystopian future hellscape, but then again, we currently have Donald Trump as president, so the future is pretty bleak after all. Likewise, the film in titled is also probably going to be the reality soon. For you see, Men's sperm have been decreasing in number and they're getting worse at swimming for some time now. Which pretty much means, eventually men will be not able to be that partner in producing off spring.

A new study shows that at the very least, U.S. and Europe are facing the problem that men's sperm counts and sperm motility have declined in the past decade. They're not getting any better, you see. It's all down hill from here. As hard as it is to hear that we aren't arising to the occasion as men, we're not packing it where it counts anymore.

One study presented at the ASRM summit found that with fertility centers in New Jersey and a fertility center in Spain, that the percentage of nearly 120,000 male infertility patients whose total motile sperm count numbered more than 15 million - anything below that is considered low counts. decreased from 85% in the 2002-2005 period to 79% in the period of 2014-2017. So basically the worse swimmers are getting even worst. And that's just not to those who suffer low counts. Studies found that it was also a situation where those who did have good swimmers were now lowering their viability in terms of swimmers and strength.

So what is the cause of this situation turning in to a sort of "Children of Men" situation? Seems like there was no clear cut definitive underlying cause for the fall from grace. They did say that the more chemical exposure and increasingly sedentary lifestyle may have something to do with it. Meaning, we're sitting on our asses far too long and I'm sure that's just warming up the boys before they go on a major swim, if you catch my drift.

This isn't new. in the 70's and 80's there was a lot of studies that suggested sperm counts to be on the decline as well, but those were largely ignored and dismissed because fuck you, that's why. how dare you talk about my sperm that way! They're winners, I tell you. WINNERS! But yeah, those studies were ignored because folks thought they were bias. Even though just blaming it on environmental changes could have easily bypassed any sort of insecurities that they would have received from thinking it was of fault of their own on the whole decline.

The concept that the modern era has introduced us to far more chemicals post World War as the major factor just seems to make too much sense to ignore. And yeah, what do we do from that point? I guess not a whole lot. Accept it that we, as a species in being able to reproduce in the classic natural sense is getting harder and harder.

Good riddance, I say. One day men won't be needed and we can all relax and not have to bother. Or women will realize this and they'll just line us up against the wall. I'm pretty sure that once we are discovered to be completely useless, because let's be honest, I have had to ask for help in opening jars lately, then the whole system will collapse in on itself and now with low swimmer quality, I just don't know what the point of keeping us around anymore. So, well, it was a good run while lasted. Nice knowing you all. Maybe we shouldn't have eaten all those MGO foods so quickly. Ah, the downfall of society in tv dinners! Who would have figured.

though, sex still can be a fun activity without the need of procreation, right?

Saturday, November 17, 2018



I mean, it comes in bulk, so we have way more than enough. Okay, yet another post about Costco. I know, you're goddamn tired of it already. But fear not, this is just another informative little post about the bestest place on earth.

Let's talk about the Chicken Bake.  Some would say that it doesn't get enough respect. I say it gets too much. Sure, I guess you can consider a baked chicken wrap to be tasty, but the fucker is way too bland. They take the chicken, I guess that wasn't used for the salad and just over all make it way too bready.

Then you have to make sure that you have one end wrapped so it doesn't just leak all the juices all over your pants. Because they will do that. I can't have mercy for food that will just try to fuck you over at any given moment.

The thing you need to get from the food court is always plain and simple - a fat slice of pizza or a hot dog with the soda side car is always, ALWAYS a better option. The chicken caesar salad is pretty solid as well. So you can take your lava hot ranch pocket somewhere else cause it sucks and should have been the first one to get cut from the costco food court menu.

But now that we are here, let's just get it out of the way. Thanksgiving is around the corner. this year the third week of the month, so it's right fucking here. Costco is perfect for this sort of situation, but you have to know when to go and when to not.  I would highly suggest going about 30-40 minutes before closing. They lock the gate on you when the hours of operation is done, but you can shop at your own schedule and not have to worry about the madness that comes from the check out.

Weekdays are also amazing. So go for it on those shopping on Tuesday-Thursday runs. You'll thank me greatly. 

Friday, November 16, 2018



I figure that with the Holidays coming at a rampant rate as well as the whole fact that they are filled with chances to over eating, I think it's just about time to start eating a little healthier. Bet you're thinking the biggest and best option would be to just eat at Subway, right?

Eh, I mean, let's hold off on the talk about the eating fresh aspect and let's just talk about the fact that they are getting rid of their $5 foot long special altogether. It's something that I can't actually remember a time when Subway didn't have that low low cost option for a subway.

But let's get on to the health aspect. Nothing says healthier living like a foot long meatball sub! Sure, a 6'' has less calories than a big mac meal, but then again, who the fuck is eating at McDonalds anyway in this day and age?

Don't even count on the veggies. I remember having a girlfriend back in the day who at one point in her life was a sandwich artist, she would tell me that her boss, aside from doing hardcore drugs (talk about health food location!) would tell them to only put a few olives on, as it was one of the most expensive veggies is indeed the olive. So if you want to stick it to that place, always ask for more olives.

I believe the quote was  "It's free, but make them work for it!"   Something like five olives was the max you can put on at one time. Pickles were also an expensive item.  She told me about this one guy who ate up the stupid Jared bullshit health stuff and would get a veggie delight, the cheapest of all the sandwiches there, and they would load it the fuck up with olives and pickles and then put a bunch of mayo and ranch on it. Sounds like a healthy and now expensive for the company sandwich.

But she told me that once she had to keep loading the sandwich up with olives five at a time as the boss just stood in the back scoffing and scowling at this whole situation and just hurting at how much profits this shitty sandwich was just costing him. All while the health kick guy was just enjoying the amount of olives being poured on.

Part of me wants to believe that this guy just knew the stupid policies. Somewhere in his mind he figured out the system and was just saying fuck you to the whole company. Maybe he was a past employee. Either way, he was fucking Subway over good that day.

At this point you're probably wondering how the fuck could a sandwich really cost them that much. I mean, Subway charges like 10 dollars for a sandwich when it is all said and done. So it's comical that they got rid of the $5  sandwiches. I doubt that with the fear of losing customers, they just suddenly figure out that they have to make things more expensive. I guess that doesn't sound like the best business model after all.

I think the general outline of what I'm spitting out here is basically why I haven't eaten there in a long long time. not even with the massive amounts of coupons that just appear at any given time and would much rather go to another local sandwich stop. They're generally always better and a lot cheaper and make your sandwich with better quality stuff than shit I have heard horror stories about.

Thursday, November 15, 2018



Remy was the first cat I owned that was mine. He has also been the only cat I ever paid for and actually actively tried to get. Every other cat that I have had has come across my path as a stray or just being born in my presence.

Remy was a tabby and he was a cute little chubbers. He hated being picked up and loved whipped cream out of the a container. In fact, the moment he heard the carbonation of a wBBhipped cream canister work its magic, he would run and you would hear him run from afar to come over and beg for food.

Wait, you are probably wondering - what the fuck, this is the fourth cat you're writing about in less than 4 weeks. What gives? I don't fucking know. It has been a really shitty time to be a cat that I have taken care of or owned. Though, in the instance of Remy, I had not seen him in person in a good number of years. Me and the first girlfriend I lived with got him as a means to get me a pet. We already had another cat from before me named Goldberg and well, Remy was adopted from Florida when I lived there. He lived in Georgia with her but I got constant updates about my little remy rat long after the relationship was over.

He traveled far. First starting in Florida, and I think I got pretty upset that he didn't give a fuck about me as a kitten but instead was all about being clingy with his buddy Goldberg. They were constantly together through it all. Then the two of them moved across country in a very very scary plane ride to live in California. Remy made friends with some of the other cats that recently passed away. Fred and Indiana loved him. Though Remy was deathly afraid of Helena and would not get near her.

Eventually he then moved to Georgia where he spent out his days. He was diagnosed with cancer and was getting steroid injections to fight it. But  I got the call yesterday that upon the recent doctor visit, he was just going to get worse and worse and so the option to put him down was taken. While it has been a long time since I saw him in person, I still am going to miss the little guy not existing.

He was one of those cats that would "make biscuits", in that he was a constant kneading fiend. If he was feeling good, he'd just start making that dough on whatever he was touching. He also had strange noises. I swear he tried talking to a lady bug once and it was completely different infliction noises. In his later years he was pretty lazy and while I don't blame any cat for getting it, he was a bit of a tubs.

He was named after Gambit and I am pretty sure that's why we named the other stray cat Rogue, because Rogue would constantly just go and snuggle with both Remy and Goldberg.

Well, I have no idea what sort of sense of humor the gods have, but come on now, 4 cats that I had a huge part of being in their life die within a month. Can a guy get a little bit of a break here and there? This is pretty much the opposite of fair. 

R.I.P. Remy. You survived Hurricanes, earthquakes and a long time in a Georgia filled with republican leaders. I'd say you had one hell of a life.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018



This is going to be an odd piece. It stems from a moment when I typed in some word that I knew was going to be misspelled because... I mean, we live in an era where we don't have to know everything anymore. Information is at our finger tips and we can just choose to draw it from our smart phones, the internet, or ask a friend. We honestly don't have to remember much of anything and that is making our brain muscles not have to pump the serious iron it once was required.

But you see, I spelled it out at the best way it could and sure enough, it was wrong. I mean, very wrong. So wrong that when I right clicked it to see how the correct spelling of the word was, it didn't even suggest anything because it was that fucking wrong.

It made me feel bad for a moment. Like, woah, I was that much off the mark. How the hell did I sound it out so bad - Then I remembered that English is a stupid language with so many contradictions and "Oh, except for this time sound it out like this" and missing letters that you don't even have to give a fuck about - but wait, this one time you do, that there's no point. We are all fucked in trying to communicate with one another without just getting into World War III because we just simply didn't know the correct spelling or pronunciation of something.

Then I realized it wasn't that bad. No one is perfect and that's why pencils have erasers. Well, if you even still use things like pencils. What are you, some kind of artist? Enjoy your inability to make a living wage!

Back to it. That feeling of being so wrong that not even technology can attempt to come inf or the save. Yeah, that's not the best feeling in the world. It means that even in 2018 with the advance technology that we have created to one day replace ourselves in every aspect, we are still flawed and the robots still don't know what we are trying to convey in terms of statements.

I guess the point of this mind rant is that maybe we should get better at communicating with our future overlords. It'll help in the long run.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018



At this point, I have no buried 3 cats in a span of about four weeks. I don't know what I can say about my state of mind right now. Indiana was my sort of ride or die cat. He was the one that I saw him be born and now I stayed with him until he passed away 10 years later. He constantly jumped on my shoulders and liked to just hang out on there. I guess he was used to doing that when he was a kitten and it wasn't a big deal, but he kept on doing it long past the point where he was way too big and his lack of knowledge in how to not claw my skin was a concern.

Indiana passed away today. I don't really know of what. He hadn't shown much of any signs of declining health. He's an indoor only cat. Mainly because he had always been so terrified of the outside world. It's really a wonder why I named him after an explorer that I admire. Be it fictional and all. I guess it goes back to when he was a kitten and he would jump over the blocking that was put up to keep them in. But the moment he got over it, he would cry and want to be put back in with his siblings.

Out of his litter, he was the one that I wanted to keep because he looked like his father, the first stray cat I saved, Charlie. Charlie didn't last too long after that because of life on the street - he refused to become an indoor cat. When I found homes for his siblings he looked completely sad that he had no friends to play with.

Eventually two of those siblings got brought back because the household we gave them to were terrible to pets. So he got his sisters back. And then finding Fred in the street provided him a lot more friends. Fred is the other cat that recently passed away. Along with Indiana's mother, Helena.  Though thru and thru, Indiana was my cat. He just loved me and would constantly want to sleep next... or, more to the point, on top of me and would want to get on my lap.

I really don't know what else to say other than.. wow. I didn't expect him to pass away so soon. I mean, yeah, he's 10 years old, but still.. he looked fine just days ago and took a turn for the worst. Holding him in my arms most of all last night as he sort of eased into and out of and then back into blankness was probably one of the hardest things I will ever have to do.

I just have to realize that he wouldn't have had much of any life outside. He always had me to just jump on and cuddle with. He even went under the blankets a lot and dutched oven that shit before running out. The cat was a jerk... but the most cutest kind of jerk possible.

I will miss you so much Indiana. This year has really pushed me to far points of lows. I mean, does 2018 just have this desire to see what exactly I have to be thankful for next week? Cause man, this is some cruel streak that has been happening. Just got to stay positive. Just got to remember the good. Realize that I made a difference to all those who I lost this year in my cat colonies. To all the personal loss I have had all around and man, there has to be better things to come, because I honestly don't know how much worse it could actually get.

Monday, November 12, 2018



Hot take, Stan Lee died today and well, we can't say we didn't see it coming. His wife, who he was madly in love with and married to forever now passed away not too long ago and well, when one goes like that, the other is soon to follow.  But another hot take here - Our hero worship for Stan Lee was a bad thing and he had a terrible last remaining years because of it.

Yeah, I said it. For the better part of the last decade or two, Stan Lee was paraded around comic book conventions by his handlers long past the time when he should have. At the risk of dragging him around basically what should have been a young man's tiring schedule for the sake of charging you a boatload for an autograph and a picture, he was basically put through elder abuse.

It wasn't long ago that his caretaker was charged with mistreatment of the guy. Then again he kind of deserved to be treated like a piece of shit. I know, I'm going to get a lot of shit for saying so, but wax nostalgic all you want, but Stan Lee was a serial molester and they couldn't get nurses to take care of him anymore because he kept sex creeping on all of them. So, like, literally a dude worth 50 million couldn't get anyone to take care of him anymore, but hey, no one got mad at that because he's old and that's acceptable when you created Thor and Iron Man and scream Excelsior a lot.

Yes, we all cheer whenever you see an "easter egg" of him pop up in the latest Marvel films. And I'm sure some will say that the next wave of films and no other phases will be the same without the senile old man popping in and screaming out Excelsior. But you know what, it will be fine. I'm glad that he's no longer going to have to be dragged out and paraded like that.  "But he liked being in front of and with the fans!"  Yeah, you may think that, but the dude was totally mentally checked out. When I met him in the late 90's, he was not there. I can't imagine what time has done to him in that department. Hell, he even wrote David on my Spider-man movie poster. I mean, sure, I'm not bitter at all still on the fact that he basically ruined my world trade center poster of that. But hey, here we are.

It just highlighted the fact that we saw less as a person and more of a prop. We even attribute so many creations on him that were not even that.  Captain America - NOT HIS CREATION.  Seriously folks, stop with this. Kirby and Simon were the creators of that man. Shit, Stan Lee was just a goddamn assistant at that point. He even said that he was just getting them lunch.

The Silver Surfer? Also not his creation. At that point Stan Lee was writing so many books that he would give Kirby the basic plot details of what the book would have and then Kirby would draw it out and fill in the gaps. Kirby created Silver Surfer when Lee told him about the story of Galactus. In fact, Lee didn't even know about the Silver Surfer's existence until it hit newstands and he literally said  "What the hell is this guy?"

All Kirby. And that's the biggest tragedy of the day. The fact that we are going to gloss over even more the contributions of other creators and lump it all on Stan Lee. I will not deny that Stan Lee was a giant in the comic world. That he had a hand in creating some of the most loved comic creators. But for fuck's sake, he did a huge disservice to all the other creators of his era and just took the entire credit for everything and that's pretty fucked up. I'm just left wondering what Kirby quote will be on Stan Lee's tombstone. 

Besides, we all know Comic book characters just never die. Give it six months and we'll see a story about how he made a quick  deal with Mephisto and he's back. Just you watch, TRUE BELIEVERS!

Oh yeah, don't forget... Stan Lee's example of hero creation can be seen for the Spike Network in Striparella, staring Pamela Anderson. Yes, this is who we are worshiping and who folks don't believe is a creation thief. Yeah, I don't get it. Now how long until Facebook gets saturated with edits of Stan Lee disappearing into dust ala 2018's box office hit Avengers: Infinity War?

Sunday, November 11, 2018



At this point you should realize that democracy doesn't work for you anymore. We have a new supreme court judge who was shoe horned in there for no good reason other than he is going to dictate more rules for which a woman has to live by in how they use their bodies. The whole #MeToo movement is pretty much white noise for them and it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things to them as they will do what they want.

Republicans are basically playing a game that they don't care if they lose the next cycle of votes, I mean, why the fuck would they want to be in government right now anyway, the blame of failure is going to go on Trump for whatever he does in the next few years and even with a house that is flipped to be democratic, the best anyone can hope for is that it doesn't get worse. It won't get better.

The GOP figured if they lost the cycle but made sure they had a young supreme court appointed that will last several decades, than nothing else matters. This whole thing is fucked and it's a sad state of the nation that we have to live through this when it seemed like progress was getting made.

Let's put it this way, your supreme court is now made up of 3 men who have been accused of sexual misconduct and not one fuck is given. Yet these folks hear the biggest of the cases that effect our nation. This is pretty wild to think about.  If you felt misrepresented before as a woman, I'm sorry, but it only got worse now.

Even worse is that Trump had the Supreme court appointed asshole do his swearing in at the white house. Past presidents have avoided this to make sure that there was a separation between the branches and to make it NOT appear like they are in the pocket of the sitting president. Yeah, that shit is just more proof that none of this matters to them, vote them fucking out in November because fuck it. Fuck it all

Saturday, November 10, 2018



A slew of pop up experiences have been happening as a more common thing in the past few years. These temporary installments just seem to have the right kind of "Limited time" factor to draw your interest even if you aren't all that interested in them to begin with. Cause hell, if you tell someone that they could only see something for a specific and short time, they'll more than likely want to do it.

From Star Wars bars to Tim Burton pop up restaurants and strange museums that have no place existing like one for ice cream and other pointless bullshit. We have Saved by the bell themed stops. Most of which just end up being permanent instillation because of the mad amount of money they make off that "limited" title. What I'm here to type to you about right now is not going to be nice and neat. It's also probably going to sound pretty mean. I can sometimes fall into the being considered a jerk because I have a strong opinion about something... But those pop ups, those little moments in life you think are fleeting and you want to jump on them... well, they're making you forget the bigger picture. That is that life is about experiences and to have experiences you have to actually be willing to experience them.

The majority of these pop ups come dressed up with the whole aspect of this being a limited time thing and that in itself makes you feel like it's something more important than it actually is, giving you the reason and rationale that you should show it off to others. At some point the experience gets put on the back burner and the main focus is how much you can flash this in the face of others. You lose track that these moments aren't actually about an experience..

The moment is fleeting and more than anything else, as much as we deny it, the general idea of these places isn't to experience it, it's to brag about it on social media in an attempt to generate likes. It's not for enrichment anymore. I think that's the take away. It was once a situation where you would go tot he grand canyon to experience a breathtaking view. Now it has become a situation of narcissism that we do these things just to get the approval of others or to show off this life we claim to be living. That in itself doesn't generate and cement long lasting memories but instead just makes them disposable.

Much like we don't have to remember anyone's phone number because it's in a digital machine in our pockets, we don't have to actually experience the situation. We snap a picture and that was the extent of really embracing and creating this situation.

I would say as we approach this time of year of family togetherness, seeing old friends and new and sharing moments, that you perhaps sit in those moments a little more. Don't put your face in a phone. Don't just check out in to a world of what others are doing. Sit and embrace the moment you are creating with them. You don't have to snap chat or instagram that hang out. You can just live it and I'm sure it'll be a whole lot better an experience because you aren't distracted with the concept of how many people  you can show that off to.

Friday, November 9, 2018



Oh hey, are you one of those weird people who likes to wear Crocs to normal functions? I mean, I don't know what the fuck is your problem, but it seems that maybe after the most prolific Crocs wearer, Mario Batali, was swept up with the MeToo movement and washed away, that the company faced some hard times as it seems that Crocs is closing all its manufacturing facilities as the CFO resigns.
Crocs said it expects fiscal 2018 revenue of about $1.02 billion, below analysts' expectations of $1.05 billion.  Crocs Inc. said it's closing a manufacturing facility in Mexico and said it also plans to close its last manufacturing facility in Italy.  The Niwot shoemaker (Nasdaq: CROX) also said that its CFO is resigning. Crocs said it's closing all of its company-owned manufacturing facilities "in connection with ongoing efforts to simplify the business and improve profitability."

Bummer, man. I mean, where are fathers with no fashion sense going to turn to for piss poor footwear options? Seriously, who the hell owns Crocs? Let alone wears them?  I get it. Maybe someone gave you a shitty gift. But if you are actively wearing them out in public. Man, what's wrong with you?

I used to say the same thing about Uggs, because, let's face it, Uggs are ugly. Then my girlfriend sort of wore them all the time and I had to shut up a little about that cause, you know, lack of balls and all that. I mean, you know which battles to pick. Then again, they were sort of knock off Uggs, which I don't know if it's better or worse. It's sort of like fake diamonds, sure, you're not directly encouraging blood diamonds, but you're still perpetuating the whole stigma that shiny rocks are worth something.

In this case I can easily say I will never wear crocs and if the way the company is going is any indication, I doubt they will be around for too much longer. Maybe they can sell their remaining inventory to Italian restaurants so they can be used to strain pasta. Either way, Fuck Crocs.

Yes, I'm jaded. But not stupid. See, I'm not wearing Crocs.

Thursday, November 8, 2018



Let's just get it out there. I lived in Florida for a solid year or so... it was.. a strange place. Which is a lot coming from someone who grew up and lived in Los Angeles. But when I saw this news piece the other day, I sort of just understood and nodded my head in thinking that 'yeah, that totally sounds like Florida alright."

A Florida gas station owner has placed a sign in his store asking customers not to warm urine in the microwave.
Parul Patel says he's become "sick and tired" of people walking into his BP gas station and On the Fly convenience store in Jacksonville to warm their containers of urine. The store is within walking distance of two labs that offer drug testing services and collect urine samples.
Patel tells First Coast News the people who used his microwave to warm urine "walk in off the street, microwave their urine containers then leave."
He says a woman became aggressive a few months ago when he asked her not to warm urine. She asked to see a sign that says it's not for that purpose. So he made one.
I mean, if you don't have a sign up telling people NOT to warm their urine in the microwave, then who's fucking fault is it, ya know. I mean, what the fuck? How do you expect me NOT to know what I can't and can warm up in your microwave in a gas station if there's not a sign. From urine for a drug test to, you know, some road kill I found off the side of I-95. You telling me that I can't warm this up? HOW DARE YOU!

The next question is... what the fuck are they warming it up in? I get that they're trying to cheat the drug test and it's bought urine and all, but where are they keeping it that they could sneak it into the lab so easily? Is it a ziplock back taped to their crotch or something? I mean, shit, there's so many questions to be asked based on this one story that I don't even know how to start asking!

I mean, at the very least they don't try to reheat fish in that microwave, right? Cause if they did they may as well just burn that fucking machine to the ground. No way to ever come back from microwaving Fish.  And anyone who has done that at a work break room should get sent to live in Florida cause that shit is just wrong.

So back to the pissing. I mean, I believe it. Florida is one of those places where the majority don't vote simply because they aren't legally allowed to with the felony record and all. I guess the bigger thing that this gas station should do is just require you purchase one lotto ticket and a pack of swisshers sweets if you want to reheat anything you're bringing from outside the store. I tell you what, that'll stop the microwave abuse, thems for sure. Well, maybe. I'm not 100% sure on that, but hey, Florida... You keep being you. We'll keep trying to avoid going to you and send in Hurricane relief every now and then to help you when one slams against you.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018



To fight the gender pay gap, first we have to address it. On top of that, then we have to admit to ourselves that many men aren't ready for it to actually be a thing where their significant other is the one who brings home more of the bacon.

To tackle that you first have to just shut up and realize that it doesn't matter who gets paid more. You two are fucking partners. Who cares who is the one making more money. You are a duo, that should be all. Stop trying to base your self worth to your pay check. Do something that you love and you'll find that no amount of money is the issue or even the problem as enjoying your job and feeling like you're accomplished will outweigh the pay check. Anyhow,

Andrew WK  took this question recently and it was probably one of the best things I read that day. Pay attention and take fucking notes. This is what it is to be a feminist and this is what it is to make change happen on the side of men. To be perfectly okay with NOT being the person who makes more money.
Dear Andrew W.K.,
I have a lovely girlfriend who makes significantly more money than I do, and I find this situation aggravating and stressful. She and I live together, and the kitchen is now “my domain.”
I know that love conquers all, but how do I be “the man” when I consistently find myself relying on her?
Your Friend,

His response was something utterly amazing and I'm just going to post it so that you, males, can see, what the fuck you should be changing in your mindset.

Dear T,
“The man” isn’t as valuable as “a man.” And “a man” realizes that in order to be a great man, he must be a good person first.

In order to be a good person, he must respect his partner as a distinct and equal person, and not just an abstract identity attached to him, such as “my girlfriend,” “my woman,” or “my wife.”

A truly good man must think of other people as unique beings of inherent value and greatness, capable of just as much greatness as himself. Rather than resent another’s greatness — especially the greatness of a loved one — a true man strives to encourage it.

In recognizing someone else’s capacity for greatness, he may also see her become even greater than himself. Perhaps in ways that he didn’t expect. Perhaps in ways that defy social standards. Perhaps in ways that force him to look closely at his life and feel self-conscious and insecure. But rather than fear these feelings, the great man embraces them, for he realizes they’re opportunities to improve the quality of his soul, to loosen the strangling grip of his ego, and to free himself and others from unnecessarily stifling conventions.

A true man is wise enough to not always be the best at everything, and is at peace with this. A strong man allows others to be strong and then helps them get even stronger.

A truly great man doesn’t only use his resources and energy to increase his own greatness, but shares his vitality and ability so that others can actualize their own greatness. Perhaps becoming even greater than anyone thought they could become.

A great man does not sulk and complain about feeling inadequate or “unmanly,” but is constantly doubling his efforts to live with more humanity in his heart, to become more “human” than simply “man.” He strives to be challenged, to be tested, to be humbled; he embraces these tests of character, for he understands that the uncomfortable feelings that come with these trials are ultimately expanding his own inner nature and making him a fuller version of himself. He is wise enough to embrace the complete range of feelings and emotions — including weakness, humiliation, doubt, and even emasculation — knowing that all these sensations have value, and not limiting himself to the way he thinks “a man’s supposed to feel.”

A true man also realizes how tempting it is to oversimplify life into subjective indicators of material success, things like earning money, performing physical tasks, adhering to certain lifestyles, and embodying certain personality types. These outer experiences appear easier to master and control, and therefore are more often used to measure and judge how “successful,” or how “manly,” or even how “happy” we are. It seems much easier to evaluate people based on things like money and houses and cars and how much they “provide” for their families materially, than on the quality of their own character and what they contribute to the spiritual needs of the world around them.

Devotion, attention, loyalty, tenderness, understanding, resolve, resilience, patience, honesty, selflessness, and commitment — compared to the physical world of material success, the qualities of character are much harder to measure and more elusive for most of us. It’s more challenging to live honestly and unselfishly for one day than it is to earn a billion dollars in a lifetime.

We would often rather think our value as a person is primarily reflected in the material world, but it is in the immaterial world that our true self matters most and has the most impact — the way we make people feel about themselves and about being alive.

So don’t worry so much about money or if someone earns more than you do. Focus as much as you can on being the best person you can be inside and out. Develop your own integrity based on inner awareness and self-honesty. Strive to remove as much selfishness as you can from your decision-making. Show kindness and goodwill toward strangers and friends. Be excited about opportunities to challenge yourself and your ideas about who you are.

Consider your commitment to these noble efforts as your only reliable indicator of true manhood — or better yet, true humanity. Elevate yourself, and elevate the world.
Your friend,
Andrew W.K.

Now that is beautiful.

Tuesday, November 6, 2018



Look, I get it, you're passionate about a cause. We all have those causes that we want to support, I just ask that you stop doing some stupid dog and pony show about it to get me to care. The biggest one is cancer races. I thought you liked running? oh, you mean if I pay you a certain amount per mile you'll run even more? Wait, is this some sort of black mail now? I don't get it.

I had a cousin send me a link to donate for them playing video games for 24 hours straight. A.) Isn't that shit what you normally do anyway? Oh, my bad, will this time NOT include the mid day trips to taco bell for that Mt. Dew variant and $5 fill up box?

Are you passionate about something? Know what, just educate me on the cause in a fashion that doesn't feel like a lecture and I'll probably donate to it as well without you having to do a stupid dog and pony show. Stop acting like shit you normally like to do anyway is such a burden that you will force yourself to do so in exchange for a donation. I'll have more respect for you with you just actually telling me what it is about this cause that really strikes at you.

Most of the times these sort of  "I'll do X for Y amount of time if you sponsor me are nothing more than what you normally do and they most of all, don't even tell me about the actual thing you're bringing awareness for. All it does tell me is that you want the attention, it also really just undermines the whole awareness bringing because you're burying the lead of what the actual cause is. Stop making this shit about you and start making it about the actual awareness you wanted to bring forward.

That's just me ranting, but hey, if you like me ranting, perhaps you can donate to my cause and for every paragraph I rant, It will donate more to the cause of.... well, I got nothing.

Monday, November 5, 2018



Magic Skeleton.   It's Sunday the day you realize that nothing can stop you now. Because you are a magic skeleton packed with meat and animated with electricity and imagination. You have a cave in your face full of sharp bones and five tentacles at the end of each arm. You can do anything, magic skeleton

Tweet from Chuck Wendig
I like that. I like that whole thing. It's really cool. And actually, it means a lot coming from me to praise a tweet because I hate the whole culture of typing in 144 characters. Such brevity is no place for writing. But then again, I am a wordy motherfucker.

Back to that description of the human body and how amazing it is, another approach to see yourself is as a giant meaty donut. Yup. Like most donuts, you have a hole in your center. It starts in your mouth and goes to your butt-hole. That is a tube. So in a sense, you're empty on the inside. Somehow you retain all the acids in your stomach and many many many miles of intestines.

But yeah, you're completely hallow on the inside. You are a giant meat creature wrapped around a system that converts food and water into energy before it expels it out the other end. Rather strange of nature to create us, if you really think about it.

I think that unique ability to be alive and that most all animals on this planet has that same sort of complete hole from end to end design as a functional way of surviving to be something that evolution must have trouble shot for a long time before realizing such a crazy concept could be applied for the purpose of... surviving. Just imagine if natural selection favored the slimy osmosis blobs instead. You'd d think that lump sort of mounds of plasma would be sexy and not the fine curves of the opposite sex.

Really makes you think, don't it?

I mean, not really. This is all sort of "Friday talk", which means I'm just throwing shit against the wall and seeing what sticks in terms of my writing style. Yes, this is the stuff that is inside my mind. My mind, by the way, is enclosed, unlike how my mouth and butt is connected. Yours is to, so stop your shit talking. Har har. Get it? No. Okay, let's move on.

I think the general take away from all this is the human body is a complex and crazy fucking thing and you should respect it for what it is and what it does for you daily. In this case, slowly transfers and converts the food you eat into energy without it just completely dropping out of your system before you had a chance to do so.

Of course, that's also if you didn't eat something that just went right through you - such as some insanely hot Nashville Fried Chicken... in which case, your body just gave up, bro. No amount of evolution can prepare for that sort of shit.

Enjoy your friday and your awesome body in its attempt to be a human donut and magic skeleton of power. 

Sunday, November 4, 2018



Well, here we are. Doing the time warp again. We're going BACK.... IN TIME!  Yes Marty, Morty... whatever the fuck your name is. We're going back to the future. Or the past. You see, it's that time of year where we do some strange crazy Doctor Who adventure that makes us go back in time an hour when we hit 2am because if we didn't, well then all time and space would be a cosmic fart in the wind, so to speak.

But yes, here we are - It's 2am and the bars kicked you out even though it's actually 1am. What the fuck, bars. I mean, look at the time, it's still an hour till closing. You're going to have to do your last call speech again in 20 minutes and then take another hour to shuffle morons out of your establishment. But that's the nature of this day and a 2am last call.

What was the adventure we went on? Oh, I can't tell you. We literally had to erase the last hour and your memory of it just so that we can save the galaxy and here you are with another 1am to relive. Enjoy it. I mean, you only get that hour back until April anyway. Then it's all tits up and goes away for half of the year.

It's not like it even helps that much in the short term since Halloween is still happening during the time when it has more light out. I guess that's good for children and what not, but what about the look and feel of Halloween? That needs to have far more darkness, I say. Oh well. Here's the typical video I post in this situation because I'm predictable and well, the gag never really gets old for me - and in the end, isn't that who I'm writing for in this silly ol' blog?

In short, change your clocks back an hour before you go to bed, or if you're like me... you know, not sleeping, just realize that 1am happened twice.

Saturday, November 3, 2018



I buried a cat next to the spot I buried a cat almost a decade ago because they liked each other and had kittens. I know that shit is for me and me alone. I'm sure the cats don't care about that and I'm not entirely sure that there is some sort of after life where they are chilling and what not. But I do that for myself.

We do a lot of other stuff like that in death for ourselves. That's perfectly fine. It's not the one that passed away that is mourning. They are gone, Where to? I have no clue. I have pondered that for a long time and well, I still don't have a solid belief in an afterlife. I feel like the time here is the time here. If I changed my mind on that, then my time here would not be as special. It would be a warm up and honestly, I live better and more full of a life thinking that this is the only go around we got.

But back to doing things to help yourself. I have another cat that when they pass, who knows when, I will bury him next to the female cat mentioned above because to him, that was his momma. I found him in the same area that the others are buried and he was so close to death then. But I brought him in, nursed him to health. Well, more so the momma did. She was always  a motherly cat and she took care of that little white fluff like it was her own. He grew up with her in mind as his mom and he loved her very very much. They would always be sleeping in the same ball together. So it only seems fitting to do that sort of thing for the little fella. To let his next forever home be one where his life was here - next to Helena, his momma.

I don't know how crazy I am for thinking like that. Maybe it's just a reaction to the whole situation. I don't really know for sure. I do know that we are only as good as how we treat others. Both in life and in death. So I guess there's that notion of respecting a life lived by not just throwing away their remains in the trash or something. Something special to honor that memory, that time you had with them.

Yeah, I'm sure I'm rambling and of course, realizing that writing isn't done in the part where you type out all your thoughts but in the editing process to weed out all the random nonsense. I'm sure this post had a lot of random nonsense. Oh well. Not like this blog was about readership! But yeah, I guess I just don't even know where to go with this stream of thoughts.

Day of the Dead just passed us by and I guess a lot of honoring and remembering those who came before us, who left before us. Who made their mark... well, it was just in my head, that's all.

edit: I wrote this before Fred passed. I mean, geez, I didn't really think he was going to die so soon. but yeah. ugh. 

Friday, November 2, 2018



Today is Dia de Muertos, or, you know, that Dead person Christmas Mexicans celebrate. It is a time when we leave offerings to those who have gone on before us into the greater unknown and we reflect on them and their life.

This year a lot of the actions my father did in his life... basically came at me like a ton of bricks and I had to deal with it. Even though I didn't have the best time with all the mess he left, I still took the time to go visit his grave and just sit with him... with my emotions for a tiny bit. I don't know what really came out of it. But I do know that this day is special to me, because it was special to him and he imparted the importance of this cultural awareness and celebration on me.

But yeah, I have, in the last two weeks, lost two cats and I wrote about it, so, you know, if you wanted to actually read about that. It's there. Not to far back. They're amazing guys and I will miss those cats and am happy for what they brought to my life the last ten years. 

Anyhow, yeah. I don't know really what to write today. It's one of those heavy days. So I'll just leave this space blank or something. I dunno. go reflect. It's a heavy day.

Thursday, November 1, 2018



Look, I know I talk about Costco a lot. I get it. You don't have to read this. I just like typing stories of my, what seems, weekly trips for a solo household - I know, it defies logic, but I go there a lot. And when I do, that $1.50 hot dog hits the spot. Now, I mentioned that some locations were getting rid of their Onion dispensers, but I just want to touch on how fucking awesome they are.

You see, the onion dispenser uses the Archimedes Screw. And right now the nerd inside me is just a little too thrilled by that, but what it means is that it's a screw up machine that was used for transferring water from bodies of water that were low lying and put it into irrigation ditches. It uses a turning screw - I mean, that sounds way too simple to get excited for, but you know, it's the small things.

Anyhow, it's a tragedy if those get yanked, I heard a couple of the no-dispenser Costco, you can ask for onions at the Kiosk and they give you a little cup of onions. As well as putting out a bin of onions and a little scoop of it on your hot dogs. I think this is foolish and anyone afraid of the dispenser is a freaking pansy.  I say, if you're not grinding a concerning amount of raw onions on to your suspiciously cheap hotdog, then I don't know what the fuck you're doing with your life.

The pencil sharpener dispenser is really the only way to acquire onions, or for that matter any condiments. It's your right as a Costco citizen. It says so in the member agreement, and if I sure as shit signed off on the right for them to check my receipt whenever I walk out, you damn well know that I'm all about the onion dispenser.

The onionizer may seem like a brute machine only capable of drowning your hotdog, but if you're really delicate and you have some skills, you can get the perfect line of onions right down the middle. It's really the trails you have to walk through to achieve Executive Membership status.

It may surprise you, but there was once a time when they even had a Kruat machine to dispense kruat goodness. Yes, I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes. it does feel to be such an OG Costco patron. Hell, there was a time when we went by Price Clubbers.

But you see, "the perfect line" of onion is basically drowning the dog in them. With just a little deli mustard - when I want something a little sweeter, I do add ketchup and relish, but then again, ketchup on a dog... I know what you're thinking, but just allow me some luxury.

Anyhow, I think ultimately the goal is to get your bun filled and let it flow over onto the foil wrapper, then you basically just double the weight of the whole thing with onion cubes. I'm sure that one of these days the receipt checker is just going to try to stop me thinking that I'm stealing a melon in my foil packed with how much onion there is going on up in there.

Basically what I'm saying is don't talk to me for at least 4 hours after eating a costco hotdog or the onion blast on my breath will basically kill you.