Thursday, October 31, 2013

All Hallow's Eve!

All Hallow's Eve!

This is one of my favorite Holidays. But then again, that is what any emo fucktard would say. I dig the whole spooky shit and death. Yeah, totally emo. In any case, I also like costumes. But let's keep the bedroom talk out of here! Cause Halloween being here is just the start. We have Day of the Dead and All Saint's Day to look forward to. But let's get this party started right with some DANCING MOTHER FUCKIN' PUMPKIN! 



Awwww yeah!

LED Halloween Costumes


LED Halloween Costumes



It's not too late to make your kids Halloween costume as baller as this.




It's a good thing that you just got them some shitty Sponge Bob costume. That way they won't get as much candy this way. Think of the cavities you're saving your not-as-cute child by not putting them in the best Halloween costume ever.



Another Costume That is Better Than Yours

Another Costume That is Better Than Yours

This is why most people don't even bother with Halloween. How can you compare to this?



He gets all the treats. ALL OF THEM.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Some Horror Television For You

Some Horror Television For You

With the scares out in full force, here's a couple little shorts.. well, sort of short horror inspired flicks for your Halloween enjoyment.

The first from the 80's twilight zone series. This one was actually produced by George R.R. Martin, and written by Stephen King and Harlan Ellison and is all about some little dude's very rational fear of Gram gram. I mean, with their cheek pinching skills, you best be afraid.




The next one is from a Boris Karloff hosted Horror Anthology Show. Why we don't have more of those besides American Horror Story, I do not know. But this episode is based on a spine-tingling Weird Tales story by Robert E. Howard, about two brothers who get stranded in the middle of nowhere in an abandoned home. Which ends up not being all that empty.

The episode was praised by Stephen King as one of the scariest things ever. So hey, don't die on me.



The last is a classic that you know full well about the story of, but you probably never saw it. Which is a shame since it's part of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour in a story called The Monkey's Paw. If that doesn't strike a chord in your psyche and give you an idea, perhaps you should just watch this and learn some pop culture references;



Because what's more scary than getting what you wish for? Besides being careful at what you do, because it may just come true.

Wes Anderson's Halloween Horror

Wes Anderson's Halloween Horror

While I may say that SNL is long past its prime of being good, there's a nugget that is worthy of watching every now and then. This is one of those moments.




Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Conjuring Up Some Scares

Conjuring Up Some Scares

Since it is the Halloween season and The Conjuring is one of those films from last year that clearly have a "based on a true story" type of thing that most horror flicks have been abusing the shit out of for a while. So what does this mean? Well, it's time to fudge the truth. Here's the real life ghost hunters'



Here's the real Annabel doll. It's not as scary as the one in the film. Though I do think that it's a little bit creepier. 



Here's one of the daughter's the movie is based on;


Enjoy trying to sleep at night now.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Sokka's Space Sword

Sokka's Space Sword

It's the Halloween season, go figure that you should think of costumes. But the key to a good costume is a good prop. How about checking out this SPACE SWORD!



Oh man, that would be pretty swell to have a space sword.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Breaking Bad Music Montages

Breaking Bad Music Montages

It seems that we're here now well over a month after the end of Breaking Bad, here's these two little clips






Yup, even after this much time has past, those two video clips are just perfect in the way the show ended.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Even Ghost Have to come in on Saturdays

Even Ghost Have to come in on Saturdays



You tell them, ghost. Fuck their TPS report formats. You ain't gonna take it. Casual Fridays MY ASS!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Lack of Halloween Movies This Year

The Lack of Halloween Movies This Year

With Halloween being less than a week away, not to mention landing on a Thursday, I'm wondering what the hell happened to the time honored tradition of cranking out a Halloween movie that will cash in on the scary holiday. We got none!

Okay, that's not entirely true. We have CARRIE that came out, but I do not count a remake as something you can really depend on it. Not to mention that it's Carrie. We all know what happens there and anyone going in knows the money shot to the film long before walking into the theater.

So what gives? No Paranormal Activities this year, which seemed to dethrone the Saw franchise as the go-to booty call for Halloween films. I mean, what's next? A logical horror movie?



Perhaps I'd even settle for that at this point.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Some Oktoberfest Advice

Some Oktoberfest Advice

While Oktoberfest has been over for a solid two weeks now, it's never too late to let some business make a ton of cash off the selling of that drunken promise, you know. Here's this really high pitched chick to tell you more about what you should be drinking.



Her voice. Jesus fucking christ. I mean, it's almost worth it to press the mute button, you're not going to learn much of anything from her reviews other than which foreign beers get white girls the most fucked up fastest. It's like her descriptors on the first couple weren't that terrible. But things just devolved from there and got into a realm of wanting to shoot yourself. 

Side note - the candles are a nice touch, I mean, if you even noticed them behind the two massive breast that were in the picture taking all of the attention away. If you weren't busy busting your nut on that whole comment about a beer mustache. 

In the end, the advice she gives is bad. But then again, who doesn't like to get white girls wasted on horrid beer? 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Sexy Halloween Costumes Are One Thing....

Sexy Halloween Costumes Are One Thing....

But what the fuck is this all about?



I'm very confused. And some how at the same time aroused by Sailor Moon... Strange indeed.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXIV

Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXIV

While the Simpsons seem to have lost all sorts of merit in the realm of being funny years ago, it does do something right most of the time is their Halloween specials in their tree house of horror. This year the intro was directed by Geremo Del Toro. Witness the beauty in it



Yeah, that was fucking awesome.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Being Honest About The Walking Dead

Being Honest About The Walking Dead

Now that the Walking Dead is back on the air, we can all bitch about how a terrible show it really is. I mean, let's be honest, we really hate it and yet that love for zombies in the media pushes us to keep on watching no matter how bad it gets. It's a strange relationship to say the least.

This Honest Trailer covers a great amount of why I say the things I say about the show. And be honest, you know it's 100% right on the money.



I will add that they forgot to bring up that up until this season, they had a strict highlander rule for black characters on the show. If you were of dark skin, you could assume that if some other dark skinned person was on the show, your ass was dead. Unless you had some mysterious Samurai skills, that is.

So far this season has been a lot better than the past two, but let's pray it doesn't follow the trend of starting off great and then limping to the barn.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

This is Why I Voted For Arnold

This is Why I Voted For Arnold 

There's a reason why I voted for Arnold Schwarzenegger for Governor of California. I mean, yeah, he really didn't bring much to the table and the state was a bit of a mess. But that would have happened regardless of him being in office or the midget or porn star.

In any event, in a move to promote his new movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger went to the internet and took request as to which of his famous lines to say again. It was grand.

Room for my fist!


I love this line from Conan



Oh you veggies.


Words fail me...


I love this one.


I had flash backs to my 9 year old self when I heard this one...






Friday, October 18, 2013

Breast Cancer Awareness

Breast Cancer Awareness

It's October and besides horror filled things, the one aspect to this month you should be aware of is breast cancer awareness. You'd be hard pressed to miss all the coverage of it considering the amount of pink shit is on the shelf, as well as the amount of slutty costumes that clearly are creating awareness for breast cancer research, right?

One aspect that I have always... ALWAYS hated, has been the Pink Breast Cancer Awareness marketing campaign. It's such udder bullshit. Especially since they force that pink all over the place. But worse of all, it's one of those situations where you believe you're doing something noble and justified, but in the end it's nothing more than a cash grab by greedy corporations. The NFL is terrible at this. Just see how bad the NFL likes to use Breast Cancer Awareness to make a quick buck.

According to the data received by Darren Rovell of ESPN, the NFL takes a 25% royalty from the wholesale price, which is often 1/2 the price of retail, and donates 90% of royalty to American Cancer Society.

So for every $100 of pink crap you buy, $12.50 goes directly to the pockets of the NFL. And of that, $11.25 goes to the American Cancer Society. and the NFL keeps the rest. The remaining money is then divided up by the company that makes the merchandise (37.5%) and the company then sells the junk at 50%.

You need to consider that only 71.2% of money the ACS receives goes towards research and cancer programs

NFL Breast Cancer Awareness Revenue


After everyone has gotten their hands into the cookie jar, only about 8.01% of the money spent on pink NFL merchandise actually goes towards cancer research.  Those are numbers way too fucking low for the amount of bullshit they do in order to guilt you into awareness.

According to the NFL, any money they take in, that is not donated to ACS, is used to cover the cost of their breast cancer awareness program. "A Crucial Catch." The NFL also donates about $1 million per year to the ACS in their first three years of program. But even with that amount, I can't help but feel that this is nothing more than a cash grab.

If people really want to show support for their team as well as for breast cancer awareness, that's all fine. But let's be honest, awareness is fucking stupid. We are all well aware of Breast Cancer. If your aunt or mother doesn't have it, perhaps your wife or sister has had a scare.

It's the one the media just loves to rally around because it's, well, boobs. Who doesn't like those? But giving money to the NFL for breast cancer awareness is fucking stupid. You're better off going directly to the source that is working to fight cancer instead of lining already deeply filled pockets of businessmen. Because the sad truth is that a very small amount of fans' money is actually reaching where they intended it to go. 

But there's a bigger issue with just "Awareness" in itself. Which I'm sure I'll get into in two weeks after the massive amount of Halloween centric blogs come about, but yeah, the whole push for charity awareness is fucking pointless and makes you look like an asshole. 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Drinking With The Walking Dead

Drinking With The Walking Dead

So now that we're in the heart of Halloween country, let's get down with two of my favorite things. Drinking and Zombies. Enjoy this little Speakeasy episode with Robert Kirkman.




Aw yeah. Good times.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle

Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle

Last night when the Dodgers were losing their game and pretty much hammering that nail into their World Series potential, over at PBS, a three part documentary that examines the history of the comic book industry started. It's called Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle. Here's a taste of what you missed the first part of.



It was pretty interesting, though I speak as a comic book nerd. So I mean, there's that. But here's a sum up of the series that you could find a DVD of on Amazon.
‘Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle’ is the first documentary to examine the dawn of the comic book genre and its powerful legacy, as well as the evolution of the characters who leapt from the pages over the last 75 years and their ongoing worldwide cultural impact. heroes-banner1.jpg

It also had interviews with people such as this old dude;




Let me just say, as a nerd I respect Stan Lee's contribution to comic books, but man has the guy seen better days. He's pretty much running on fumes. I'm pretty amazed he's still alive. But I know that his mind has long since left us and moved on. Because man, the dude has lost all the marbles that he once had.

It gets into a lot of detail about the comic book industry and the rivalry between Marvel and DC. Here's a bit about the DC vs Marvel of the 1960's



To be honest, it's not even a competition now. That shit is full on Marvel owns on all regard. Minus in one factor. Television. Marvel has not fared well in the television division. And let me just say that even though you have Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, I say that Arrow, a show based on Green Arrow, beats the shit out of them in every aspect possible.

Then we have Wonder Woman herself;


I can tell you that she really shaped a lot of my desire. A strong independent woman, who despite having Steve  Trevor, doesn't need a man. She can handle herself and BAM,  if she did not look damn sexy in that costume. Yes, I think that her beautiful eyes shaped the sexual future of many o' kids. Probably also had its role in making BDSM a little more socially accepted, what with her golden lasso.

If you're able to catch this documentary and are a somewhat nerdy type, this is perfect for you. So hey, don't miss out.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

It's Time For Dodger Baseball!

It's Time For Dodger Baseball! 

25 years ago today the Dodgers pulled off something that was amazing.


Such a beautiful moment, I tell ya'. And I think tonight we need some of that magic as we're down in the series against St. Luis 2 games to 1. We have a chance to tie up the series tonight with one more game in Los Angeles and going back to their home turf down 3-1 just doesn't seem like the best situation.

And we ain't got no time for fucking Rally Monkey bullshit.


Though, I guess that's kind of fucked up in how quickly they removed him and how easily he just flushed down the drain a ton of cash for post season baseball tickets all to dress like a giant beer and dance around on top of the Cardinals dug out. Hell, he ain't even getting props for it cause he's covered up. He can't tell people at the next house party that he was the dancing bear in hopes of getting laid.

Here's hoping some of that magic is still in that stadium tonight.











Monday, October 14, 2013

Squidbillies and Some Unknown Henson

Squidbillies and Some Unknown Henson

I love me some hillbilly Squids. They're some of the best part of my Sundays now that I'm going through Breaking Bad withdrawal.



The only sad part is that now Squidbillies is over for the season. God damn it! Still, that son-bitch is hilarious shit. Go look it up, yo.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Breaking Boarder Bad

Breaking Boarder Bad

Another Sunday and we're not getting Breaking Bad. Not one new shred of it. I mean, what the fuck, right? Except, well, if you're in Columbia. Because guess what's getting remade in the image of Latin America? You guessed it. This bad boy;


Jesus Christo, Marie! Better call Sergio!

I have to say that the casting seems off. The guy cast as Hank looks way more like Tuco than what I picture Hank to look like. I really can't take him seriously without the barrel chest and huge head, you know. I sort of dig Walt, but changing his last name to Blanco? Isn't that going to fuck with things when it comes to the Gale reveal about Walt Whitman?


You also have to wonder if the cartel guys will have the same names. I'm assuming this joke will be lost in translation, but the best one was Juan Bolsa, because it was Spanish for Johnny Sacks. And on a random note, I always assume the Cartel was just a generic stand in for any Mexican cartel, but Wikipedia implied they're supposed to specifically be in the Juarez Cartel, which is a real thing



Si, Señor Blanco, CIENCIA, PERRA!

I'm actually pretty interest in seeing how the Spanish-language remake plays out in terms of the setting. ABQ really was an amazing aspect to the show. Besides, they wouldn't just do a shot-by-shot remake of the original after all, would they? I think they'll gladly make some changes, or at least they would have to.

Otherwise if they do a direct copy they may miss the entire point of the show in a sort of lost in translation type of thing. Then again, they literally named their character Walter Blanco, so who the fuck really knows.

It's already known that they changed things like the RV because motor homes aren't very common in Columbia, so they're going with an old school bus instead. Which just makes me wonder when they'll have to deal with hop ons.

But you know, I can't lie, "Yo soy el knockador" still makes me laugh.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Hot Pocket - You Got What I Need

Hot Pocket - You Got What I Need

Well, I clearly took too many hits of a bong, cause man, these hot pockets, they got what I need....



And by that I mean Kate Upton. :drool:

Seriously, I'm not even sure what to think of that little video segment. I mean, what the hell does it even mean? Oh Snoop, you baked too long. har har.


Friday, October 11, 2013

Petting Your Pussy

Petting Your Pussy



This blog post is about petting your pussy in that oh so right way that will make that little fluff ball purrr purr and purr some more. As you can see from the diagram above, petting your pussy isn't that difficult. It just takes a moment to try different routes. Pretend you're kneading bread. Or just punch your cat.

Side note, do not punch your cat. It will not appreciate that. Perhaps you could sing it a song with your guitar?


Just remember. If you don't pet your pussy correctly, it knows... and it'll come for you when you eventually sleep...



Thursday, October 10, 2013

77 Vines About 44 Memes

77 Vines About 44 Memes 

While I can't say I'm a big fan of the concept of twitter's 144 characters, the concept of Vine is interesting in that you have to make a few second long video and get your same message across.

Here's a compilation video of several of them that are of note worthiness.


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Daft Punking It Up and Losing Yourself To Dance

Daft Punking It Up and Losing Yourself To Dance

Yeah, I realize there's already been a blog post with a different version of this song that was a fan made music video using those twirly sign folks, but still, this song is well worth two entries in my pointless blog that you're still reading, even though I haven't really done much other than Breaking Bad post and random video post for the majority of the month, but just bare with me while we enjoy these mad beats, yo. 



See, all you needed to do was lose yourself to dance. Awwww yeah.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

American Horror Story Season 3

American Horror Story Season 3 

Tomorrow night American Horror Story comes back for a third season. This time the show takes place in New Orleans, a place that was pretty damn amazing and is probably as perfect a place to plant a horror story series. In any event, to get you excited, here's a slew of amazing videos to hype you up;





























Now that you've got teased, here's a little bit of the back story to the culture and all that jazz


Coven is set in both the present and the 1830's in New Orleans and follows the conflict between two powerful groups of witches. One group represents the practices of Louisiana Voodoo, and is led by the real-life Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau, who is played by Angela Bassett. The other represents a fugitive clan that escaped the Salem Witch Trials and is led by Fiona (Jessica Lange) the Supreme, the greatest witch of her generation. 

The show starts its new season tomorrow, October 9th on FX, unless they decided to move it to that god awful and confusing FXX. But whatever. Oh yeah, and for the full version of that House of a rising son, here you go.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Stop Opening Wine like a Winnie

Stop Opening Wine like a Winnie

Here you go. This is how to open a bottle of wine like a man.



Wait, wine?! Why aren't you drinking straight bourbon, you pussy!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Breaking Into Bad's Show

Breaking Into Bad's Show


Todd and Lydia's audition tapes.







How about some Hank audition tapes up in here? Dean Norris is a natural at this.



Notice how they said San Bernardino PD. That's because Breaking Bad was originally going to be set in Riverside, Ca.

Then you have Aaron Paul. Oh man, the man, the myth, the BIIIIIIIIITCH


And here's some Anna Gunn


Betsy Brandt


But the real treat is how they found Walter White



How about the creation of the show itself?





God damn, I'm going to miss you, Breaking Bad.




Saturday, October 5, 2013

Ghost Stories - Tis The Season

Ghost Stories - Tis The Season

Now that we're in October and my favorite season of Oktoberfest is just about to wrap up - yes, it's done the first week of October, go figure. But now that we got the beer drinking out of the way, it's time for seeing random shit that you probably can't explain in a drunken state that you're currently in.

But it is, after all, the season to be all spooky and what not. A little known fact about me is that when I have nothing else to watch on a Friday night that I decide not to go out and drink or be social, I love, love, LOVE watching those god awful ghost hunter reality shows where it's just some moron in a dark room with some very vague electronic recording device that they heavily suggest is something it clearly isn't.

I don't really believe in the after life, given that I'm an atheist and all that jazz, so I don't really know how to explain this enjoyment over the stupid shit like that. But I do find it comical and I think I like the notion of some sort of state of being after your physical self has long since wasted away. But again, we're approaching Halloween and that's the perfect time for all these things to come to light and scare the shit out of you.

So in any event, check out this little video of a "ghost" captured on camera at a hotel room spooky situation.



While I doubt that it actually happened and it does put into question why he didn't simply turn on the light. I don't question why he didn't close the door behind you. You want to make sure you have an exit if you're putting yourself in the situation of potentially facing some screaming bitch.

If it's a staged situation, I'll still give it some props since it was pretty well made. Even if the ghost apparition was just a little glow contrast. Much better than say, something like this;



Which just seems like it could be easy to stage with today's modern technology in video editing. Still, that first hotel video is interesting none the less.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Dear Mr. Watterson: An Independent

An Independent Calvin and Hobbes Documentary


I picked out this film simply because of what IMDB said about it. "A documentary about the impact of the newspaper comic strip Calvin & Hobbes, created by Bill Watterson.

Let me be the first one to say that I read that completely wrong and I was, at first, shocked to see that the reclusive Bill Watterson made a documentary about his work. Well, in looking at that sentence again, you can see what it actually is saying.

As for the documentary.... I have to say, I thought it was a little boring. I'd rather see an actual interview with Watterson than have Seth Green tell me how much Calvin & Hobbes meant to me when I was a kid. I know that Watterson doesn't do interviews because he seems to think he's the JD Salinger of this generation and comic strips.

But then again, he kinda has the right to do whatever he wants since he's a human being and, well, he did do a lot of creative work that did affect my childhood. I don't blame him for being reclusive and calling the cops on unwanted guest who keep trying to bug him.

The problem is that without Watterson's participation, this just sounds like two hours of people fawning over comic they read and liked 20 years ago.... but even then, it's not even that. A lot of it feels like it's about the kids who grew up reading the compilation books their parents undoubtedly foisted on them in the hope that their special little angel would turn into their own little Calvin. Which does make me wonder why? I mean, Calvin was a consistent pain in the ass, so it begs to question why any parent would want their child to be like that? Probably because people who procreate are fucking idiots by definition.

But yeah, as a kid who read these originally in the daily comics as well as in the Sunday paper. I have all the books - hell, I got most of them as they were coming out. But it just seems that this documentary was pretty short in coming up on paying tribute to a childhood memory.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Red Wedding

Red Wedding

I don't think this is what G.R.R. Martin was thinking about when he wrote about it.



But you have to admit, it would have been a far less gut wrenching part of the book to read and scene to see.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Middle Class American - Endangered Species

Middle Class American - Endangered Species 





This image may be obvious in the demise of the middle class, but to put this into perspective, there are only 112 waking hours in a given week. Including weekends, mind you. If you want healthy sleep, of course. So you can have one full day of rest if you literally work every single other waking hour of every day and don't eat.

Assuming you don't work more than those 88 hours. Of course now you're thinking, 'But that's such a waste of profit potential'. and you'd be right, but don't worry, here at Satan Corp Inc. we're hard at work perfecting the ProleHarness 2000, sporting a state of the art feeding tube, saline IV and amphetamine administering system to cut down on that wasteful human dignity.

Just think, that for a 2 bedroom apartment, it's on minimum wage and I assume it's adjusted to each state minimum wage. But maybe it isn't. I don't know how the market 2 bedroom apartment rent is weighted and calculated either, so it could be a hell of a lot flawed in that sense.

I did get into an argument about the fast food walkout and being sympathetic to their demands but that $15 an hour was being too high. Especially they were a bank teller and weren't making that much, but it was a more skilled position... in reality it's not. I ran some hypothetical numbers at them about less than 30 hours a week at $15 per hour and factoring payroll taxes and income taxes and whatever else, that it's about $1300 a month in the most expensive areas in the country. It seems pretty difficult to imagine anyone being able to make it in the U.S. who isn't well off to begin with.

This goes without saying that it always bugs me when people act like "THEY shouldn't make more, when I only make  [x amount]", because it's like, they're so close to getting the problem, but missing it entirely. The other problem about the recent data picture, with the min wage if it kept up with inflation/productivity charts thing is that I'm making really good money, able to afford a comfortable place to live, drive my decent used car around and keep it serviced as well as have medical insurance and what not. And I make less than the "productivity" number.

Perhaps we should just abolish the god damn wage system already. There's no reason what so ever to pay people according to time of all fucking things.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

ABQ

ABQ

Breaking Bad was originally set to take place in Riverside, California. And while the Riverside I know is really filled with meth labs and rampant use of drugs, I'm pretty glad that the production went into a run-away-for-tax-purposes mode on this one and took it to Albuquerque. Because in the long run, ABQ became a character in the show itself and much like changing Bryan Crantson, you really couldn't replace how much of a role Albuquerque played in this show.

For instance, ABQ has a sort of different history than a lot of the other Southwestern cities. The Indian, Spanish, and American heritages collided in a different way than other areas for the era. Unlike Salt Lake city, that has a more industrious foot print, Albuquerque grew rapidly after WWII, but not as rapidly as Phoenix. So some of the older ways of the native people had a way of lingering around longer, and many still do.



You could see this influence in Santa Fe a lot. What with the selling of the native's sort of jewelry all over the place as well as the design of the buildings and what not. But in ABQ, you get to see how much the old ways have stuck around. 

In general, ABQ is a strange place. The city is basically divided up into 4 quadrants, and I don't just mean, like, theoretically, all addresses in ABQ have a NE, SE, SW, and NW addendum on them. Which would be similar to how people in Los Angeles say THE in front of highway numbers. It's a pretty clear indication of an out-of-towner when they don't say THE 5 or THE 405 much like if you're looking for some place, you probably should know which direction it is in.



But after spending a couple of days in New Mexico, while it doesn't make me an expert in the area, that short time working directions in Albuquerque, it's pretty clear that the city is dictated by those distinctions. Especially since even mailing addresses have what section they are in. So when Walter White on Breaking Bad gave his address and didn't say NE at the end of it, I wondered if ABQ residents shook their fist.

There's a huge air force base in town, which contains a bunch of stuff including Sandia national labs. A location that Walter original worked before becoming a teacher. But this does show something else in the divides, that it's also a socioeconomic divide. The NE section is near the Sandia Mountains and it's full of white people relatively suburban like and safe. In fact, it seems like the closer you get to those Sandia mountains, the more likely you'll run into some sort of gated type of community. This is were Hank lives. Though Walt doesn't live too far from there in the NE section, but his is far more suburban.



To show you the difference, The location they shot Saul Goodman's office is within a mile of the White's House. The location is really a bar in a strip mall, so make of that what you will considering where Hank lives. For the most part, the majority of Breaking Bad takes place in the NE part


There's also a college in the middle of town towards the SE. So there's part of the whole college town situation going on. This is near the some what bad side of town. Jesse and Jane's duplex is located near to it. And really, it's the far more criminal heavy area of town. It's were I stayed when I was in town and it did have a bit of a higher crime rate.

Put it this way, the gun-death rate is 40% higher than the national average. This is a place that you can buy some heroin and some famous store's diamonds all on the same block. The police is often times corrupted and poverty is at a high. Crime rates are about 53% higher than natioanl averags, making ABQ a town plagued with mediocrity and most of all, they suffer through a drying river that was the whole point of settling here. 



Let me be clear, when people talk about ABQ being a crime ridden hellhole, they aren't really talking about any one aspect of ABQ that really has been on Breaking Bad, besides Tuco's area, where Combo got shot and where Jesse was tossing out money from his window. In hindsight, I guess that is a number of places.

But this South East section of town is refereed to as 'the war zone' by the locals, but it hasn't been in the show all that much, which makes sense because most of the characters on the show are middle class suburb whites and wouldn't live anywhere near that sort of riffraff


Downtown... well, you know how in the movies Cars where Lighting McQueen lands himself into a town that looks pretty much like the ravages of time has fallen on them, only to see it get injected with a completely different look at night? I think that pretty much nails ABQ's look. At night, the Downtown area as well as the vast majority of the local routes just shine with signs for motor lodges and motels.



The brighter the better. But it's awe inspiring to take a drive through Downtown and the other roads of ABQ. You have a downtown area that is really filled with so much life and laughter at night. If the heat isn't radiating off the ground, it's the neon lights bouncing off of them to hit you with how vintage it looks.

On a side note, the local minor league team is called the Isotopes and it's directly named that because of the Simpsons. But to be fair, ABQ is full of nuclear testing and the Manhattan Project is a big part of its history, so it kind of has a double meaning. But they have a large statue of Homer and the rest of the family in the stadium. Isotopes are a minor league farm division for the Dodgers, so hey, if you're in L.A, you can take some comfort in that.





Back to the views of this place, I haven't even gotten to the landscape yet. That in itself is reason enough to go visit New Mexico. It's fucking breathtaking how vast and wide open the skies are for you. The colors on the mountains off in the distance... yeah, I could see what Georgia O'Keeffe saw in this native land. The cinematographers in the making of the show must have had a field day in playing with the camera. Those Southwestern skies are simply amazing. It makes a couple hour drive in the middle of nothing with not much more than the views around you all that much more enjoyable.



In short, the landscape goes from being filled with beautiful clouds to sometimes not having a single one up there.  What makes it pop some more is that like many Western cities, there is a lot of terrain relief in ABQ. which makes it very noticeable where something is filmed, it does mean that the city has a different horizon, a different feel and look in every direction you turn.

Over all, it seems like Albuquerque attracts impractical dreamers and all those who failed at their dreams and just really don't understand why their plans never worked out. In every way, it's perfect for Walt, the character who seems to have had life hand him a bad hand time after time. He's an impractical dreamer who, much like most things in ABQ, just is living day to day in a world far too big around him.

Albuquerque is a beautiful place. I hope to visit there again, hopefully not too far in the future. It's filled with inspirational views as far as the eye could possibly see. You just have to remember one thing when going - Red or Green?