Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween folks. Now while you sit at home and take part of a socialist practice of redistribute your wealth in the form of candy to those who come knocking on your door, enjoy this very creepy classic horror story by Star Trek: Next Generation's Q...

Now give me a trick... I gave you a treat.

Thrill of the Day

Thrill of the Day

As a child I was terrified of Michael Jackson's Thriller. I mean, that shit was scary to little me. It would play on whatever music channel was on and I would run the fuck out the door. Maybe I knew then what folks speculate still now after he's dead.. that Michael Jackson and little boys didn't make a winning combination. Maybe it's what caused my fear and spun my desire to kill any zombie that ever shambled on this green earth.

But it was one of MJ's most memorable music videos. And I guess looking back it now as an adult, it does seem silly that I would grab my younger cousin and run out of the room it was playing in fear that the zombies could come out of the television. But maybe I was just being safe.

These folks on the other hand...

Mother fuckers are tempting fate right there. What are they trying to do? Resurrect Michael? Come on, man. Don't walk that line of necromancy!

More tricks or treats to come..

Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Million Dude Hangout

The Million Dude Hangout

Today Jon Stewart, no - not the black green lantern, gathered today in what I hope isn't remembered in the vein of our generations Woodstock, though Woodstock also had corporate backing and was attended by rich kids who got drunk and high all weekend too. So maybe I'm being a little bitter and misguided in thinking that.

But still, this is a rally to bring back sanity and the chances are there's going to be so many awful costumes in the crowds that it'll make Washington look like it's comic con with politics. Not to mention the amount of folks going there simply to get drunk and potentially get laid with total strangers in the middle of the national mall is far from anything near restoring sanity. Which I guess is where Stephen Colbert comes into the picture.

You should be afraid of the amount of folks who will probably get arrested for indecency. Ironically a tens of thousands of person event about political discourse that won't have any political discourse because, a series of speakers lecturing to a massive crowd isn't discussion. Do I also need to point out that "restoring sanity" is a pretty empty gesture. Then again, this is the daily show... The place you go when you want to laugh about total lack of function that politics serves.

This rally just comes down to one major battle.. Viacom vs Newscorp and who will come out on top. Newscorp is pretty damn ugly, but they give me a pay check. Viacom is obnoxious in every possible way. So really, this is a battle between two really ugly beast.

I'm curious as to what the turn out for this will be. I'm going to go with about 400,000 people. Most of them will be stoned out of their mind or at least with some sort of "legalize pot" banners and not really concerned about politics in the slightest. After this whole event the media will then not shut up about how much young people care about politics for the next few days before the results in Tuesdays elections comes out and shows that the young voters didn't actually give a fuck.

To expect folks to go to the rally and not just be looking for fun or to say they were there is silly. The last thing they actually want is some sort of serious lecture about political discourse and the current standing of our nations health.

The Daily show the other day had Obama show up on the show and even though I voted for the man, I had to laugh when he said the following.
"This is the most significant piece of legislation in this nation's history."
-Obama, regarding the healthcare law that was passed on The Daily Show
I just have to wonder if he's actually buying his own bullshit. Maybe he's just saying it in hopes that the stoned out viewer watching the show will potentially buy into it. I mean, that was just so out there.

Then he went on to correct the expectations of "Yes we can"
"Yes We Can, but it's not going to happen overnight. When I say that when we promised during the campaign, change you can believe in, it wasn't change you can believe in in 18 months. It was change you can believe in, but you have to work for it."
Yeah. He's a hundred percent correct... just not in the way he means.

Troops to exit Iraq in 18 months, officials say

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Obama is expected to order all U.S. combat troops to leave Iraq by August of 2010, administration officials said, closing the door on a war that has led to the deaths of at least 4,250 members of the U.S. military and tens of thousands of Iraqis.
It's pretty clear that the level of expectation that Obama inspired in all of us is just not something we're going to reach. Is that a bad thing? By no means. It's just reality and we should hanker down for some tough times.

He's certainly did a lot more than Bush did in getting us out of this hole we dug for ourselves. I guess folks just hoped and had some expectation that we would take some express magical elevator out of it.

This rally for sanity may be comedy.. and it may just be a place for like minded Daily Show viewers to enjoy some jabs at the system we feel so disenfranchised with, I'm just hoping that it gets a larger attendance than Glenn Beck's rally. Now that would be some fucking comedy gold.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Halloween 2: Revenge of the Costumes

Halloween 2: Revenge of the Costumes

So it's Friday and I'm still a little on the fence on what my halloween costume should be. Given that there's always parties and what not this weekend, it's just a matter of time that has run out on me.

I mean, every year it's pretty last minute what I choose to actually go as. There's always the classic fall back options that require little to no actual work in preparing. Clark Kent is an easy one since I just toss on a Superman shirt under a button up and with my glasses it's pretty much sold itself. Then there's always Super boy.. which is just my other nerd shirt with jeans. Yeah.. that's tough.

More proof that Bill Maher has never done anything funny

But what if I want to be edgy? There's always the crossdressing option. It's really the only socially acceptable outlet for it. Hey, if women can dress up like slutty whores on this holiday, why can't men gay it up a little, I say! One weekend a year, no one gives you shit for putting on woman's clothing. All you have to do is go as something shockingly offensive, but have it be "ironic" so it's A-okay!

I think that a good Halloween costume should be easily recognizable by your standard party goer drunk at least 10 feet away from you, otherwise you're going to spend the entire night explaining what exactly you are. I think this may be the reason why women just don't wear a lot for the holiday. Why bother? People don't typically ask you what you are when your tits are hanging out. They just drool over your tits. Saves you a lot of time explaining away some poor choice at the costume shop.

Like, I originally wanted to go as a "whore", but, to no surprise they only had "slutty whore" at the costume shop. I mean.. what the fuck? Who said I wanted to look slutty when I'm dressed like a cross dressing whore?

I love, its also home to: Sexy Grim Reaper, Sexy Polar Bear, Sexy Big Bird, Sexy Hugh Hefner (as well as dozens of more traditional Playboy costumes), Sexy Pacman, Sexy Snowman, Sexy Jason Voorhees, Sexy Beer Mug, Sexy Lady Pimp, Sexy Viking, Sexy Willy Wonka, Sexy Ninja Turtle. i dont even know which one of these to bold for emphasis they're all ridiculous

Why is female Freddy such a moron that she'd cut her own shirt? Fuck'n women can't do anything right. This is just terrible. Ooooh wait. It's to show off some skin. Man, I completely forgot that you had to "Sexy" up any costume. Even if it's a costume of a board game...

Yup, you guessed it.. Sexy Scrabble. Nothing turns me on like a triple word score.. with her! Boooyah! I'm just glad I can't read the words they're making out on her stomach. I'd probably get some sort of aspergers rage at the fact that they don't have proper letter allotment. I mean, you'd have to have more than one X to make up words like XOXO and I'm sure the other words on there are shit like LUST and BITE or TICKLE. No one would play those words as they aren't worth that much points.

The problem here is that the kind of women they get to model the outfits and actually look good in them don't need those outfits to show off how good they look. I'm pretty sure you could do a sexy quadriplegic and the model will be way hotter than she should be.

Recall that one picture of a "Sexy Ghost Buster" from the previous Halloween costume blog a day or two ago? Let's look at the picture of how it looks on an actual model..

How embarrassing it must be for her to walk around like that... What with her proton pack being upside down and all. Just more proof that these costumes only really look good on those who otherwise would look good anyway.

Besides that, everyone's doing sexy outfits. Though I once spent Halloween in a brothel and that was the one night no one was dressed up sexy. You know what's even more comical about all those "Sexy" costumes? The costumes based on historical sex workers like Moulin Rouge dancer, Geisha, and Saloon girl tend to be the ones that show the least amount of skin.

But hey, this next costume is a great one if you're a fan of David Lynch...

Even though I have to say that a skimpy ski uniform seems a little nonsensical even for sexy Halloween costume standards.

I also don't want to go as a couples costumes. I find those to be some of the worse war crimes possible to humanity. They're so awful in every possible way. There's nothing more awkward than having to deal with a couple in a matching costume short of having to actually stand there while they make out.

They're so obnoxious in both their choice of clothing as well as their manner they carry themselves as a costumed couple. Why don't they just go home and make out in the closet or something. What purpose does it have to show off how much in love you are that you're willing to dress in matching attire? All it really does is make it so that when you break up, that year's Halloween costume is forever gone in both pictures and mention.

Then there's the idea of just cranking out the anime to a full 11 on the dial and going in a full on Neon Genesis pilot suit...

But back to my situation. I think it's a matter of making it so that people actually get what or who I am. I once told my friends I was shooting to go as Trotsky and they had no fucking idea who that was. It was a clear indication that I possibly needed new friends.

So lets take a look at the popular choices for costumes most years...

Yeah, that sounds about right. I'm just going to be a drunk for Halloween. Potentially a groper. Depends on how much of a drunk I end up being. Yup sir, that sounds about right. Or maybe I will just dress up as a secular, rational human being who doesn't buy into a commercialized Pagan holiday turned into an excuse to slut it up and chug till I'm piss drunk.

Or I'll just be Donnie Darko.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I Want To Believe

I Want To Believe

I would first like to point out that U.F.O has a definition. It means Unidentified Flying Object. That's all. Why we jump to the conclusion that it's alien life is beyond me. I would personally be more afraid of an Unidentified landing object, all things considered. But that's not what we have here. Take a look at the following clips recorded around the same time in the night and day skies.

In Virginia 10.17.10

In Sydney on 10.17.10

Over Phoenix, Arizona 10.17.10

In Moscow 10.17.10

And another..

And what's with the chemo trial?

In Seattle, Washington 10.19.10

Then Here's a 8 minute HD clip of the New York "balloons" in the sky

Roughly around the 6:30 minute mark you can see 5 objects in the sky. Not just three, so it begs the question on what exactly those things are. Some claim it's balloons. Must of had some pretty long strings connecting them if that was the case.

Not to mention that now we know that when the balloon people land on Earth, we better make sure we have helium at the ready so they can breathe and pass on their vast knowledge to us.

And of course you need the Fox news aftermath of the New York reaction...

Now what I'm suggesting isn't alien life form. While it would be silly to dismiss the probability that aliens exist out in the universe, the chances of them flying to earth and kidnapping farmers and backwoods yolko's seems a bit much.

Even if Fox News has it on camera that Edgar Mitchell, the sixth man to walk on the moon speaking to a group in Washington last week stating;
"It is now time to put away this embargo of truth about the alien presence. I call upon our government to open up...and become a part of this planetary community that is now trying to take our proper role as a space-faring civilization."

I mean, yeah.. if the dude who walked the longest on the moon is asking for "full disclosure" from our president, then maybe there's something to it, right?

But then you realize that an astronaut is no more qualified to talk about alien life form than anyone else, he was trained to walk on the moon, not to critically think about the chances of alien abduction.

While there's no denying that this is advance flight, the most likely answer to it is that it's just the government showing off their new prototype space ship that goes from Earth to the moon in 5 minutes flat.

I mean, to call it a cover up would be a bit much. It is suppose to be a top secret project for the sole reason that you don't want others finding out how you did it. That's just the basics to any technological advancement.

Do they do things that are a bit eyebrow raising? Of course. They did close down 3 airports for a couple of hours under bullshit reasoning. You didn't hear how on October 13th, the FAA closed down 3 New York airports at around 6:45 for about an hour due to a "gas smell"
Were Flights Delayed Due To New York UFO Sightings? Following the reports of UFO over Manhattan, New York City sightings on October 13, 2010, the Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) said that nothing had actually appeared on their radar. Later it was learned that a school in the nearby Mt Vernon had released several party balloons in the sky.

This has made many media sources to claim that this might have solved the mystery behind the New York UFOs. However, the media sources covering the 2010 New York UFO sightings have failed to bring up the fact that from 6:45 pm of the October 13, the FAA had closed down its air operations at the three New York airports for about an hour, reports

The FAA on the other hand claims that the flight delays were because of “gas smell” from the FAA radar facility in Westbury. The mysterious gas smell, led to the closing of the radar facility and the evacuation of the radar technicians. This coincides with the time when UFOs were spotted over the Manhattan sky. It is speculated that the UFOs might have impeded with the radar equipment, and if so then the FAA might be covering up the actual facts behind the UFOs over the New York City.
Pretty odd that 3 different airports all happen to smell of gas at the same time. That's some pretty serious Men In Black dealings. And even though there was a recent news piece about UFO's disarming nuke sites, even on a reputable source like CNN, it does seem a bit silly.

But hey, at least our government isn't as bad as the Chinese one. Who would just say a village never existed instead of admitting that their rocket destroyed it..

It wiped out a whole village. State press only said a few dead and a few hundred injured but then independent estimates put the deaths into the thousands or tens of thousands. China is just pretty good at hiding these "Village suddenly wiped out in the back country" incidents.

But if there really is aliens out there visiting us, don't worry. I have Jeff Goldblum's Powerbook at the ready to unleash awesome Mac virus goodness to their systems! WELCOME TO ERF!

I'll leave you with this little piece by Awesome scientist Neil Tyson as he talks about UFO's.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Halloween - Dress Like A Whore

Halloween - Dress Like A Whore Day

Did you think that you would get by a Halloween season without me making my annual "Halloween is a free pass for women to dress like whores" rant? Well then, you obviously don't know me well enough. Why yes, it is indeed the time of year when you are allowed to dress like Meg Whitman...

But seriously, why does everyone dress like a whore on Halloween? Well, okay - not everyone. Guys can't get away with it unless they're going to the West Hollywood Halloween celebration.

Maybe I'm just looking at this whole thing wrong. Maybe this is just the final goodbye to the male gaze as we are approaching winter and, well.. we all know that the sun dresses and other revealing clothing gets put away this time of year. So Halloween ends up being that last goodbye to the patriarchy. The final curtain call where you can sadly see curtains....

I don't recall Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter having his tits hang out?

But perhaps the reason this feels so wrong is because it seems to have been jumped all over by capitalism in the worse way. You end up paying more for a flimsy little piece of fabric than you would for much more coverage.

I wondered why but then I looked up Costumes for women and sure enough, "sexy costumes" are nothing more than reclassified sexy lingerie. is a website which I guess is normally for sexy lingerie, in essence, shit to spice up your bed room relationship issues and explore fetishes and it's clear that they realized that something you'd wear to get it on is pretty much easily crossed over to something you'd wear to show off your body in public.

To say their site had a few odd choices would be an understatement, but in the name of comedy and for something to write about, let's take a look.

I'm not exactly sure who that appeals to? I mean, are left overs left overs for a reason? How much does it boost the self esteem of a girl to dress up as something you toss in the fridge and potentially only eat it if you have no other options later.

I have a fortune for you, you will be ignored for a week and then tossed out after your bad smell is discovered. Lucky numbers 2, 4, 18, 23, 64.

Who you gonna call? Perhaps a seamstress to sow up that top.

Is it even like a geisha like design? I mean, I have a thing for Chinese pattern dresses, but is this giant leftovers box suppose to turn me on? I also like the well placed "THANK YOU". You know someone's getting down tonight! And without the need to verbally thank the other person after as they could just read it right there.

The site is also like many other stores this time of year in that they're already gearing up for Christmas, as it features this excellent Santa Claus costume that any young child will want to give their wish list to.

On a side note, I believe Santa Clause is more real than anything on that girl's body. But fake holiday character costumes aren't the only thing you can find here. I would be completely sad if I didn't mention sexy female george washington (Who wouldn't want to fore score with her?)

I would like to request a sexy Leon Trotsky be made as well. Garter belt not necessary. Then there's other selections that I really have to question if this site is just some soft core porn site for those who don't have a credit card to enter a real porn site and for those who don't know how to use bittorrent to just download it.

I mean, how the fuck is this a costume and not just an example of the male gaze?

I guess it's just one of a few separate foundation garments they sell to be used as part of a costume. Like hey, check out this tutu-style petticoat they're selling! You can match it with... well, shit. I don't even know what you could match a tutu with and not look like a silly attention whore.

Don't you dare go to a Halloween party without one of these fabulous accessories

and who doesn't like shoes? They sure seem to have a shit ton of them there.

This next one transcends into the new world of Hipster Indians, which I finally saw first hand at Fat Tire's Tour De Fat the other weekend. But sure enough, nothing says classy as sexifying the native people of this land..

I honestly can not tell whether that's purely digital or a heavily heavily airbrushed photograph to the point of having the skin match the costume so much that it looks like she's draping flesh.

I'm not even sure how they got to the point of thinking like dressing up as an Indian would be a good idea. I mean, we oppressed their people, took their land, killed them off in droves and then stuck them in casinos. It seems that it's only adding insult to injury to make Halloween costumes mocking them, or at least stealing their identity and putting it on some college age white girl.

In fact, the only thing I could think of to say about that one is that I'm sure there's many people who would want to give her small pox.

I'm not even sure what this next costume is trying to suggest or even how much sense it even makes. As far as I could tell it's just dressing up like a giant female remote control

Nothing says female empowerment like a giant mute button over one breast and a power button over the other. Oh hey, what's that? You can turn up and down the volume of good and bad girl. Why gee, I wonder what I will choose in terms of bad girl. You don't want to bump it up too high, or you'll get the snapping finger

I'm also not sure why you would need a forward and reverse for Hotness. Is there such a thing as someone saying "Whoa there, you're waaaay too hot now, let me rewind you back a little and ugly you up." I can't even make out what the bottom buttons are for.

Just look at that battery on her back. How empowering, I must say! But now that you made up your mind as to what you will wear, what's next? Well it's time to figure out where you're going to show off your small article of clothing, of course!

The standard answer if you're like me in Los Angeles would be to hit up the West Hollywood parade. But that in itself is a nightmare of unimaginable proportions. Just look at the street closures and traffic circus involved..
the city relaxes its strict parking permit enforcement citywide (in some areas, not displaying a permit means more than a ticket, it means a tow) between 5 p.m. on Halloween to 6 a.m. Monday morning. Parking meters, however, will be enforced and the city warns that because it shares a sometimes tricky border with Los Angeles, make sure you read all parking signs (clue: most all L.A. street signs say "City of Los Angeles" at the bottom in small letters).

The event officially goes from 6 to 11 p.m. Below are the street closures and public parking locations ($15 to $20):

Street Closures

  • Santa Monica Boulevard between Doheny Drive and La Cienega Boulevard including all side streets from 12 p.m. Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • Robertson Boulevard between Melrose Avenue and Santa Monica Boulevard from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • San Vicente Boulevard between Cynthia Street and Melrose Avenue from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • La Peer Drive eastbound turn lane onto Santa Monica Boulevard from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Sunday, November 1, 2010.
  • Santa Monica Boulevard between La Cienega Boulevard and Holloway Drive/Croft Avenue from 4 p.m. Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • La Cienega Boulevard between Sunset Boulevard and Santa Monica Boulevard from 4 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • Sunset Boulevard eastbound and westbound turn lanes onto La Cienega Boulevard from 4 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.

Yes sir, that is one hell of a nightmare for anyone that lives anywhere near Santa Monica Blvd or the West Hollywood area. You really want nothing to do with that area for the whole Sunday through Monday morning aspect of things.

What exactly are you getting yourself into in that endeavor? A lot of body parts hanging out and since it's centered in a gay community, you know the inhibitions just go out the window. So of course you'll be seeing more costumes that would get you arrested for public indecency. But then again, it wouldn't be Halloween without that, right?

The main problem other than the awful parking, which in my mind is reason enough to skip out on it, is that happens is you and your friends wander around West Hollywood in a very slow moving shuffle with the rest of the folks out there in a vain attempt to figure out which bars or clubs you're going to try to get into to justify this trip to West Hollywood's madness.

Police force, while relaxed in terms of parking, is going to be way up in police check points and other inconvenient means. It's also a Sunday. Most folks actually have to work the next morning. I know I do. So staying out late doesn't seem like such a great idea. Nor does drinking till you can't remember. This is why I'm sure that most parties will be on Friday or Saturday this year... in some cases - Both!

Or you could take the drive 90 miles out to Santa Barbara for Isla Vista's little Halloween Parade which has the benefit that it's invaded by the masses of the local College UCSB. Which if you were in the younger demographic would be perfect material to pick up on that "Sexy Nurse" that crosses your path or that "Sexy bloody chick". You never know until you try your luck, right?

I've been to Both and I have to say that I had a lot better time in UCSB. The party scene, well.. when I was a good 6-7 years younger was more suited for my style and it was less of a mad house than West Hollywood. I can't say I'm much of a club going as well. So that just was pointless to me.

No matter what you do this weekend, it's a lot better for the memories to stay safe and not drink to hard - potentially risking your Monday 9-5. Let alone a DUI all for the sake of all Hallows Eve. It's probably also not a good idea to wear very little and expose yourself to the elements.

Then again, I go back to thinking that this is that final bow to the low cut exposed summer time attire. I'm sure the guys appreciate the view, but remember.. You don't have to wear a costume that has the word "Sexy" in front of it.

If anything, this should show you that if you really want to dress like that, then by all means dress like that normally. Too many people use this Holiday as a free pass to enact their inhibitions. Just do it if you really want to. But don't use Halloween as an excuse.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Truly Horror Picture Show

A Truly Horror Picture Show

Tonight Glee returns with what will be a very much talked about episode. Even more talked about than the stupid GQ cover that got a lot of media attention recently, is that Glee will be doing a tribute to something that isn't Britney Spears or Madonna. The show will tackle the tough issues of sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania...

I wonder if Schuester will take them all out to eat at Denny's in true fashion.

So I know what you're thinking is the next logical step for this... Well, if Glee is highlighting it, why the fuck not crank out a remake...
We still have to wait an entire week for Glee‘s much-blogged about Rocky Horror Picture Show episode, and considering the buzz surrounding the Gleeks take on the cult classic, it’s not surprising that there is now some interest in pursuing a feature-length remake. Deadline is reporting that Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy has met with Fox 2000 to discuss an updated version of Jim Sharman’s 1975 Frankenstein romp, which originally starred Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, and Barry Bostwick.

Murphy is known for writing and directing some of Glee‘s flashier, more elaborate episodes (like last season’s "The Power of Madonna" and the recent "Britney/Brittany.") To date, his feature-length directorial credits include Running With Scissors (2006) and this summer’s Eat Pray Love. Both were memoir adaptations, and both received lukewarm response from critics (as well as being targets of my wrath) but Murphy’s musical touch could be the perfect fit for a Rocky Horror reboot.

You know, as if the enduring success of RHPS has Anything to do with the actual movie itself. It's pretty much a given that unless you've seen it at a midnight screening in a theater packed with fellow freaks, you're really losing something in the translation.

Don't give me this bullshit about how "A good film needs to stand on its own merits as a film." Rocky Horror is not a great film. In fact, I doubt there's anyone who enjoys the film by itself outside of the midnight experience. It's a fun film to watch in a group and you'll be singing along with the songs, but it's just not a great film to watch by yourself.

As crisp and clear as the blu-ray is, it doesn't give you that feeling of eating food out of a chick's mouth, humping sex toys, tossing rice and yelling out BITCH every so often. So the idea of remaking this in a more acceptable PG-13 format would miss the whole point of the film.

But what are you going to do? Just say "Welp, it sounds like a shitty idea, but why the hell not?" They're going to have one hell of a time getting this made and don't get me started on replacing Tim Curry. He's pretty much irreplaceable. Maybe casting Eddie Izzard as Frank N. Furter would make a little sense and would make the pill easier to swallow on this whole matter.

I read one really good recommendation as to having John Krasinski play Brad, and well, I'm pretty sure that there's one one person that everyone will agree with on taking the role of Janet.... Damn it!

Yup, You can't go wrong with Eva Amurri. It's literally running in her blood!

Or perhaps the route to go is by getting someone the niche market loves... Joss Whedon, of course. I'm sure he'll have time right after doing The Avengers. Not to mention that two people who already worked for him have some pretty extensive Rocky Horror experience under their belt.

Then you have Giles, played by Anthony Stewart Head who just loves to sing Frankie's songs to just about anyone who is willing to listen to them. Take a look at this video.

Or you could click on this link to see Anthony Stewart Head dressed in drag on stage during VH1's tribute to Rocky Horror. And in that one he lets it all hang out. I mean, the dude REALLY REALLY REALLY Loves to dress in drag and play the role..

But hey, when you're this good and well past the level of some Glee geeks, you're able to take on a role like this without any problems, right?

But getting back to the issue at hand.. It's a 35 year old film where 32 of those years has been spent in constant play at midnight screenings. How do you really go about remaking a film with this much global following and not piss off a few folks?

We'll see after tonight if Glee's take on Rocky Horror generates enough attention to get folks to put on their finest tightest blackest little thing and go to the Nuart or any other small theater that will, per usual, be showing this come Saturday night.

Because they sure as hell wont know the story of Rocky Horror based on the extremely trimmed down version that is in the episode. Just a heads up, studio insight here.. Having Mercedes play Frank n furter just seems like a complete cop out. Though I guess with the Parent Television Council on their ass lately, I guess they have to take it easy and wash it all down.

Oh, and don't think this is by any means a valid method to devirginize yourself, you aren't getting off that easy. You gotta go through the ritual just like anyone else.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Paranormal Activity: Boobs

Paranormal Activity: Boobs

If any porn companies take that name, at least name one of the actors after me... you know one of the actors who has a huge co.....mmand of the English language. I think those porno's these days have evolved in their scripts, haven't they? I wouldn't know as I don't keep up with the format.

Fun fact - Did you know that 20% of the internet traffic in the evening is from folks streaming from Netflicks? True story. So that means that folks are more than happy to watch movies, say one where it's a home video recording of some demon annoying a family instead of watching amateur porn on the internet... also done on a shitty home video camera.

On the subject of shitty hand held camera films, let's talk about Paranormal Activity. It's sequel, Paranormal Activity 2 scored a whopping 41 million in the box office this past weekend. Considering that Paramount only spent 13 million on the production, prints and advertising of the film, Paramount is already making bucket loads of cash and it's clear we have a new Halloween scary movie replacement for the Saw franchise.

You remember that home movie looking ghost story film from last where a douche bag day trader and his girlfriend got a camera and documented their boring lives till some demon came into the picture somehow and was getting even on the stupid day trader and his rather large breasted girlfriend.

Over all, I didn't hate hate the film. I mean, a day trader died. But I found the jump scares to be pandering and a little heavy handed. The plot didn't make much sense and it was left vague as to allow the viewer to insert their own justification or just scare them into thinking that some asshole chaotic evil demon could just come in and wreck shit for no other reason than he's a demon. But it made a shit ton of money and was produced for the down payment of a car. So you knew it was going to get a sequel.

I mean, given the level of dialogue and the glaring lack of plot, character development and everything else that makes up a good movie, this one did pack the crowds in for what was considered a classic ghost/haunting story that people just eat up around this time of the year. So it was perfectly done and on a shoe string budget.

I bet the number one question you had was how were they going to put Katie's boobs into this one and how prominent will her tits be in the film? Are they going to win acting awards? More than likely they'll be up for best supporting character. Maybe I got that wrong. The boobs win best characters and the bra is the best supporting character.

It's pretty clear that they were playing them up at some points. She's seen in a bikini in the pool in one scene and in another scene while playing with the baby she has a seriously low cut outfit with a lot of cleavage just in your face.

Then again, what kind of red blooded American doesn't like cleavage? The host of the Late show, Craig Ferguson once responded to an email from a girl about how to get men to stop starring at her breasts and he made an excellent point.

"...I don't think theres anything you can really do, men will stare at your breasts, unless their polite... Then they'll pretend not to. Which is what we do, we pretend that we're not looking, but we are, and whenever you think 'Is he looking at my breasts?' his is, 'Was that guy looking at...' yes. Can't help it sorry, try not to, the thing you got to understand is we can't help it, its hardwired, I don't believe in the objectification of women, I believe I'm post-feminist, but when I see a woman... I look at her breasts, and you know what? They're awesome!"

Now look at him on the subject here;

So yeah, there's cleavage and then there's a demon. Sounds about right. Though the sequel isn't all about big boobs. You have to toss in something for the other fetishes in there. How about Japanese school girls for those who rather have that? You folks get that two in a Paranormal Activity franchise film because there's actually TWO Paranormal Activity 2 films coming out.

Here's the Japanese remake sequel, It's in post production and due for late November. Paranormal Activity 2: Tokyo Drift

The film follows a Japanese exchange student, who returns home after visiting San Diego and unwittingly brings the evil from the first film into her family’s house.

The film chronicles the young woman’s videotape recordings in their house and the shocking realization of the supernatural force that her family must defeat.

It's pretty comical to see a film have to official sequels that go completely different directions. If we're to buy into the story of the sequel, then it's practically impossible for the demon to just up and follow an Asian school girl back to Japan. The sequel taught us that this is a sort of Rumpelstiltskin demon who was simply trying to cash in on a deal.

I say about time. Can we put that whole creepy girl who died a wrongful death ghost to rest already? Now it's time to put in the vengeful demon who likes boobs and/or babies to take up the lime light and star in as many ghost stories on the big screen while making hollywood stars out of waitresses from Boca de Beppo.

"Why yes, you can have the Pope room for a party of 10 or more."

For a quick review, the sequel was a lot better than the first. I really didn't care for it, but given the chance to see the second one for free I went for it and really enjoyed it. It expanded on the first one and played well with the time line while also bumping up the notches on what this demon was after and how it tied into the first one as a sort of prequel/epilogue. Over all, it had the best aspects of the first film and added a lot to it while retaining the boobs..

I still have one question about the glaring plot hole in the first. If your place is haunted by some unknown spirit, why the fuck are you sleeping with the door wide open to the dark scary hallway? I mean, really? I realize the ghost has no problem with opening closets and going through the attic or fucking with shelves, but at least with the door closed, if it is opened you can see what sad sad monster is coming in..

Oh wait, Sad Keanu haunts everyone's hearts around the world. The most probably and more realistic thing to do in that situation would be to just fucking run to the nearest hotel and hope it doesn't follow you. If it does.. run some more.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

What's That Spell? Pedo- Pedo- Yay, Pedo!

What's That Spell? Pedo- Pedo- Yay, Pedo!

If you check out the local news stands this coming month you'll be able to see something that would make you register as a sex offender. At least according to some overly protective parents groups.

You see, a recent photo shoot with models between the ages of 24 and 28 is creating a stir with parent groups calling fowl and tossing out accusations that it encourages Pedophilia. Here's one of the photo's in question.

Yup, nothing to get all Gleeful about here..

The Glee photo shoot featured in the November issue of GQ is facing criticism from the Parents Television Council. The group recently chastised Miley Cyrus for her “Who Owns My Heart” video and Taylor Momsen on the cover of Revolver which, of course, made sense. (Although to a lesser extent with Taylor Momsen because she wasn’t the lynchpin of an entire franchise aimed at 12-year-olds. Plus who the hell is she?) But now they’re going a tad overboard by labeling the GQ shoot as “pedophilia” in an official statement:

“It is disturbing that GQ, which is explicitly written for adult men, is sexualizing the actresses who play high school-aged characters on ‘Glee’ in this way. It borders on pedophilia. Sadly, this is just the latest example of the overt sexualization of young girls in entertainment,” said PTC President Tim Winter.
“Many children who flocked to ‘High School Musical’ have grown into ‘Glee’ fans. They are now being treated to seductive, in-your-face poses of the underwear-clad female characters posing in front of school lockers, one of them opting for a full-frontal crotch shot. By authorizing this kind of near-pornographic display, the creators of the program have established their intentions on the show’s direction. And it isn’t good for families.”

These people might actually have a point if Lea Michele and Dianna Agron weren’t both, oh I dunno, 24. Also,
But to be fair, the inside of the magazine has the following images

But it makes you wonder. Didn't Glee just have an episode where one of the characters dresses up like Britney Spears and.. well, she does every one of her provocative dance numbers? Not to mention that tonight they have an episode were they're doing the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Seems to me that Glee is doing pretty well at visualizing these people without GQ's help.

Oh, did I forget to mention that the Britney Spears episode had the very Jewish kid getting caught jerking off to a video of Rachel in a skimpy outfit, and in the latest episode, Brittany and Santana had a little lesbian make out session on a bed. Yup, this show may look like High School Musical, but it really is far from it.

Yeah, these parents may allow their children to watch a show about high school kids and may not actually want them exposed to such sexuality, but again, the show is overly sexual already and this is a men's magazine. If these people didn't draw attention to the photo spread it would have likely gone unnoticed by their children. Most of all, Glee is not a fucking show for children.

But hey, Dianna Agron took to her blog last Wednesday night to apologize for her controversial GQ spread with fellow castmates Lea Michele and Cory Monteith, saying “it wasn’t my favorite idea, but I did not walk away.” Seriously? Grow some balls you fucking pussy. Oh, how dare I upset my fans who clearly are jerking off to these images.

Do you remember that famous scene with Pheobe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Yeah, that one. You just pictured those tits, didn't you? Well guess what, pedophile, she was playing a High School Student in that film. If the shit these folks are saying is true then you've just crossed over to the creepy zone.

I imagine that if that made you a pedo, then perhaps there's some serious issues with Halloween with the ladies dressing up in cheer leading outfits and other school girl outfits that just scream out as to something being not age appropriate.

Either way, you have to wonder who is perpetuating the stereotype that cheerleaders are "sexy". It's probably a self fulfilling prophecy when you think about it. Society sees them as sex objects and then they just continue the cycle by creating cheers that paint them in that image. And let me tell you, age has no limit when it comes to this patriarchy...

Cheerleader, 11, ousted for refusing to ‘shake booty’

She says she was thrown off squad for standing up for her beliefs. An 11-year-old girl who was thrown off a Nebraska elementary school’s junior cheerleading squad because she refused to “shake her booty” says that while the gyrations may be a crowd-pleaser, she doesn’t think young girls should be moving their bodies like that.

“It just felt wrong. I don’t know why,” Faylene Frampton said Wednesday during an interview on TODAY with Tamron Hall. “It just didn’t feel it was a cheer that was appropriate for kids of my age or younger.”

The sixth-grader from Ashland, Neb., says she complained to cheerleading coach Tina Harris in the past that she did not feel comfortable with the cheer, which is number 33 in the squad’s 44-cheer routine.

The cheer calls upon Faylene and younger members of the squad — including some in the second grade — to turn their backs to the bleachers, bend over, and move their pelvises from side to side.

The cheer had been used in the past, but Faylene says never liked doing it and told the coach so. So when Harris gave the signal for “shake your booty” on Oct. 10, the third-to-last game of the season, she decided it was time to put her foot down — both of them, actually — and take a stand.

Faylene, the oldest and most senior of the junior cheerleaders, refused to do the cheer and was sent home. Later, her father was informed by the coach during a phone call that Faylene was being benched for the last two games for disrespecting the coach.
Geez, way to ruin cheerleading, you non-bootilicious, 11 year old brat! What did you think you were signing up for when you turned in the permission slip and athletic dues? Did you not realize your costume was essentially a short skirt and a tight top? It's not like you're cheerleading for Jesus at Sunday mass.

I mean, fuck. If you don't want to be objectified sexually, don't be female, I say. I just don't want to live in a world where 11 year old girls aren't made to grind and shake it like a stripper in front of a crowd at after school youth sports activities.

Then you have your cheerleaders who just flat out refuse to cheer because they don't want to encourage their rapist.
5th Circuit: Cheerleader can’t refuse to cheer

A former Silsbee, Texas, high school cheerleader did not have a First Amendment right to refuse to cheer for a basketball player she claimed had sexually assaulted her, a federal appeals court panel has ruled.

The student — known in court papers as H.S. — attended a party after a Silsbee High School football game in October 2008, when she was 16. She alleged that several individuals sexually assaulted her, including then-football players Rakheem Bolton, Christian Rountree and an unidentified juvenile.

In January 2009, a racially divided grand jury from Hardin County refused to indict the players, who did not have criminal records. (Later, some of the players were indicted.)

H.S. said that school officials ordered her to cheer for Bolton, who also played on the basketball team, at a February 2009 game. H.S. cheered for the team, but refused to cheer for Bolton individually. She said that Richard Bain Jr., the superintendent of schools, and Gail Lokey, who was the principal at Silsbee High, ordered her to cheer for Bolton when the other cheerleaders cheered or go home. H.S. refused, left the game, and was subsequently dismissed from the squad by cheerleading coach Sissy McInnis.

In May 2009, H.S.’s parents — known in court papers as John and Jane Doe — sued District Attorney David Sheffield, Silsbee Independent School District, Superintendent Bain, Principal Lokey and McInnis. H.S.’s parents argued that Sheffield violated the First Amendment by retaliating against H.S. for filing sexual-assault charges by revealing details about the case to the public.

With respect to the school and the school defendants, H.S. and her parents contended that she was punished because of her “symbolic expression” not to cheer for Bolton.
The girls should fly a picket sign outside the school saying "I was forced to cheer for my rapist". I mean, it's not like joining the cheer leading squad is implied consent to have sex with the football team, thus a cheerleader could never be raped and it's always consensual sex.

You have to wonder why when he copped a plea to assault why wasn't it just automatically a case to throw him off the team and send him to an alternative school avoiding this issue altogether.

Then again, this is Texas we're talking about. Texas has worked more high school athletes to death than any other state by a wide margin. Just a reminder that some high school in Texas spend tens of millions of dollars on their football stadiums, which include jumbotrons and other such lavish shit.

This new stadium will feature:

* Video Scoreboard
* Two level press box with film deck and Observation deck
* Home side reserved seating with seat backs
* 1,5000 additional parking spaces with 4,500 total parking spaces
* 18,000 seat Stadium with upper deck seating including:
* 5,000 reserved seating,
* 2,700 General Admission
* 4,000 Students
* 5,300 Visitor
* 1,000 Band

The cost? $60 million. And even though it's the #2 best high school football team in the United States, that's 18,000 seats in a stadium for a 3,855 student body school. If they sold out seven home games a year at maximum capacity at ten dollars a ticket, it would still take sixty years to even think about paying it off.

And I just have to say this to Texas. No one cares that it's dealing with Texas. I swear, you people are worse than New Yorkers when it comes to self importance. Why hell would you make such a big deal about it "being in Texas". Check out my Texas class ring, I got it when I graduated Texas High! I was the giant ten gallon hat mascot for the Texas hatters, voted most likely to love Texas forever!

I don't care that this is in Texas, it's still a huge shithole. Would Texans please stop acting like anyone gives a fuck about anything that happens in the state just because it so happens to be Texas?

So in short, fuck cheer leading and fuck the parent groups who jump to assumptions based on the look of someone on a photo shoot. Further more, if you don't want to be paraded around as an object, don't join the fucking cheer squad. That's like suggesting you were male gazed when you did the Swimsuit photo shoot of sports illustrated.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Did I Mention The Walking Dead Lately?

Did I Mention The Walking Dead Lately?

Because I know I did.. but since we're still just inching closer and closer to that Halloween date, I know you're still more excited about seeing half naked chicks walk around town than this show. Or getting candy at strangers doors.

Maybe these video clips of the making of the show will help get you in the mood..

And then there's part 2.

There you go. Now you should be hyped up like hell for the coming zombie awesomeness. Try to survive the next week before the release of the show, I dare you.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Enough With The Breast Cancer Awareness Already

Enough With The Breast Cancer Awareness Already

It seems that all throughout October when I go shopping I have to look like a dick at the check out counter when the worker ask if I would like to make a donation to breast cancer and I just say no with a stern voice.

I can honestly say that I have had enough awareness of breast cancer. Did I mention that I'm a feminist? Oh, why am I taking this stand? Well, as a feminist I would like to make sure that there is gender equality across the board. That neither gender is getting favoritism due to packing a penis or a vagina. That is, after all gender equality for one and all, right?

Besides that, it's pretty insulting to sum up woman's cancer concerns with just breast cancer. As well as having your sickness used as a tool by corporate America to sell more yogurt. I suppose spreading awareness is one thing, but making an iPod pink so you can feel better about ignoring homeless beggars isn't, guess what all the 13-30 year old do it for.

Oh wow, breast get cancer like any other part of the human body? Who would have thought! This is useful information, thanks for making me aware! The whole thing is just fake feminism co-opted for business purposes in the worst way. There's identity politics issues even with stuff like the March of Dimes, but it's practically insignificant compared to Susan G. Komen consumerist trash.

I'm not going to deny that cancer sucks, but this whole Pink Ribbon shit is just a corporate scam and screenings on a whole are excessive. And don't give me this notion that "dude, it's your mother/sister/girlfriend". It doesn't change the fact that the real cancer here is the corporate menace that has made a fortune fear mongering 51% of our population's tits.

Here's a quote from a random google search on the subject.
There is no other disease that we try to eradicate by going shopping. We are bombarded with all manner of wonderful pink things we can buy to raise money to help fight breast cancer. Everything from makeup to a line of clothing from the Ford Motor Company. Never mind that the makeup contains ingredients linked to cancer and auto exhaust contains known carcinogens, it's all for a good cause.
On a side note, if you google "breast cancer scam", it takes you to tons of hits for crystal medication and homeopathy. I want to say it's more worthless and material a scam than "going green" but I'm not quite sure anything marketed as "green" is marked up 30% over standard retail.

These pink charities give such a tiny amount of the proceeds to actual breast cancer research. The rest goes to paying cost of the promotions. Basically, just give your money to cancer societies directly. You may not have a cute little pink ribbon to show off to your friends that you donated money, but it will actually be put to good use in cancer fighting.

Most of all, people probably should donate to research instead of awareness. I mean, not much point in being aware of something if there's no potential cure in the works other than chopping off a boob. We're in the 21st century, man. We shouldn't have to live with slicing off cleavage. Breast cancer isn't even particularly deadly as far as cancers go. It has something like an 80-85% five year survival rate compared to say, 12% for lung cancer. However breast cancer absolutely dominates for no good reason.

Why is it that there's boobies awareness and yet my prostate goes unnoticed and unappreciated?! Huh?! You tell me, fine American reading audience. Maybe it's because boobs are a lot nicer to look at than a prostate. You don't say "Man, those jeans really make your prostate look fuller." or "Nice prostate, is it real?"

I'll tell you why no one cares. From what I understand based on something I heard once from a guy or on NPR, people diagnosed with prostate cancer will most likely die of something else before ass orgasm cancer ever has a chance to finish them off. The French don't even care about it and it's only an issue when it hits some has-been comedian.

The main reason why I flip out about breast and prostate cancer in the US is that because of all the false positives we treat thanks to our retarded counterproductive pointless screening and "awareness", it makes our cancer survivor statistics look fucking amazing because people were never going to die of cancer miraculously end up not dying of cancer.

Here's why the screenings are a bit pointless. With the constant media and political pressure to get awareness out there, the targeted groups move further away from the at-risk groups. So you have more people who were never at risk to begin with raising the survivor %. There are a lot of studies about where the effective cut off point are for various screenings but these will be continually ignored in America as evidence of some sort of death panels.

If the bloated US medical establishment insisted on you irradiating your lungs with X-rays once a year, and then triumphantly pointed to a particularly sticky lump of phlegm while saying "Oh no, maybe yous got cancer herceptin biopsy chemotherapy oh, that'll be $200,000 please" while your insurance company gleefully rubbed it stomach with one hand and with the other underlined useful little bullshit no-coverage circumstances in your policy, we might have similarly impressive survival rates.

Not to mention that over screenings are a negative thing when it starts wasting limited medical resources.

Maybe it's catered this way because women still do the majority of shopping in the household. So it really just boils down to being a marketing gimmick to get women to buy the products. It's pretty evident that society doesn't value a woman who has small or no breast, so the marketing here is about saving boobs. Which simply enforces stereotypes that women have about their body images and presentation to others they encounter. Making sure that they don't have to resort to having them lopped off is incentive enough to frantically checked more than regularly needed.

In short, other cancers re just not as sexy.