Thursday, February 28, 2019



I've been thinking a lot about something that is so trivial that I'm afraid to talk about it. But here goes it anyway. If flying were a real thing in our world where we could all do it, would people fly parallel to the ground looking forward like superman? Or would standing upright, kind of levitating sort of like Magneto flies be the actual way we move in the air?  Neck strain concerns me and superman's method just seems like you'll get a full blast of wind against your face and your neck is in a strange angle. Would someone fly in this position? Tell me that?!

I think not. You'll wake up the next day where ever you are with a nasty creek in you neck. And before you say that aerodynamics is at play there, consider the following; By what means does a person fly in real life when you look at it. Superman is only realistic if you assume thrust comes from the bottom of your feet like Iron Man. Which in the real world, is fucking bonkers. I'd argue that whatever force is used to levitate you, magnetism, anti-gravity, space bubble of the sort, it's all multidirectional in its origin and nature so it'll allow propulsion on any axis. In this case, standing upright is the most actual natural position in gliding through air.

The only downside to all this is you just look so strange flying in a prone upright position at any speed. You just look like you're on one of those people mover things at the airport you really wonder and question why everyone is using them. Imagine standing upright like a fucking dork hitting the speed of sound, your clothing would just shred right off your body and you'd arrive naked.. It doesn't sound so appealing now, now does it?

Then what happens if Magneto hit a flock of pelicans at full speed. Would they not just kill him? I guess the space bubble protecting him would still destroy the birds, but just think of the nasty mess you'd get of that bubble full of feathers and blood. I can't speak for Superman, but assuming Magneto is applying force from his body against the magnetic force from the Earth's core, if he's able to push from any part of the body, he could just orient himself however he wants. So standing, sleeping, sort of at an angle, sideways. Why limit yourself to boring standing up?

Then you have to wonder about the full speed Magneto would be flying. I mean, he's probably not breaking more than 14 mph. Even if he is hitting a bird flying the opposite direction, at best he might get a black eye if there's no protective bubble.  Which also makes you wonder that if Magneto's top speed is indeed that slow in the low teens, why bother flying anywhere at all and exerting that energy on fighting gravity? Even as the crow flies, it would literally be faster for Magneto to take an uber to the airport than it would be to fly from his house.

I really wonder if he has a bus pass or something for all of this. But yeah, I gues hee can hurl metal objects at incredible speed. So maybe he only flies so slowly out of fear of all the bird life he would be killing. it's not like they want to subvert mutant kind like lowly humans do.

Wait, no. Now that I think about it more, maybe the ultimate way Magneto should travel is indeed by Uber. You see, then he could use his powers from INSIDE the car to accelerate them to insane speeds. Even tossing his metal filled car all over the place at such faster speeds. using the car as a protective pelican shield would be the ultimate thing.

I mean, sure, it'll scare the shit out of that poor Uber driver who is screaming the entire time his sad gig economy revenue generator is being forced to fly across long distances, but hey, he could pick up a lot of fares on the way back.

Back to Superman's neck, I mean, we can just assume Superman is super, so it doesn't effect him much or he won't get tired or sore from it, but for everyday assholes like Magneto's method is so much better. The whole floating bullshit just seems cool. Superman diving at super sonic speeds everywhere, which would indeed create a sonic boom strong enough to kill every human near him and his flight path, which is generally low to the ground with such sheer amount of force of impact, it just seems that Superman is coming out more and more as being the ultimate bad guy for humanity.

What I'm saying is that Superman is a much better villain. I don't know why they call him a boyscout. The fucker has been causing havoc to humanity in so many ways.

But also, his force seems to be coming from his core in how he flies, so perhaps we should change the way he flies across the sky. It should look like he's got a lasso around his torso and is just getting yanked everywhere.

Hmm, you know what, Silver Surfer flies in a pretty awesome way and we never take notice on that. On a silver surf board. I mean, Magneto could be chilling on a lazy boy while he flies but then he'll be using energy to keep that metal hunk of furry furniture up in the air with him. Still, a whole lot better than standing. You know that shit will fuck with your knees with all that gravity as well pulling down on his core like that. He's going to have fucked up knees pretty fast.

You know what else I just though, if you're flying up higher, which is where you want to fly fast anyway due to reduced drag by having a thinner atmosphere, like planes do anyway. I mean, you'd fly faster but then you'd have a tougher problem. It's really cold up there due to the thinner atmosphere. The air temp is well below freezing and if you're going 500mph with win in your face, than it's gong to be a really rough time all around. And unless you're an indestructible alien asshole with no pain receptors like Superman, you're going to need an enclosed cabin or an iron man suit or something containment bubble to protect you.

You know, I'm having a tough time to drop this whole Magneto and bird thing, because a lot of birds have a sort of biological compass in their head which allows them to migrate in the same pattern every year. So in a sense, Magneto's secret power is being a birdomancer. It's a whole lot better than flying with your fucking arms stretched up above your head like some stupid piece of shit asshole curly haired newspaper writer.

It just doesn't make fucking sense. It just makes flying visually and physically awkward to fly with your arms stretched out like that. There's no practical reason for it. If you want something to do with your hands, just put them in your fucking pockets while you fly. Or hold them behind your back - which if you're flying or floating in a bubble, you should do that anyway because then it puts more emphasis on how much better you are than other people, especially those people on the ground, who literally and figuratively look up to you. I walk around with my hands held behind my back a lot anyway and I always feel like I'm better than others.

Certainly much better than pumping your arms and legs so you could feel like you were running at an incredible rate, because even though 14mph is faster than most, it's not that fast.

Then there's Iron Man and Falcon. Who seem to fly in a titled 45 degree angle and let's be real, I already wrote a lot of pointless words and humor about Magneto and Superman's flight patterns, I'm not going to waste even more of your time bringing int his 45 degree angle bullshit. We'll be here all night.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019



I ,mean, come on. Get your shit together you fucking Millenials. You are spending too much money on avocado toast and maybe if you went to college and got a real degree like we did, you'd have a career that would span you 30 years from a loyal boss and thus, you wouldn't have to live in our basement.

Did you think about that? Oh wait, you did go to college and instead of getting a degree worth even the paper it was printed on, you got a massive student loan bill that can never be written off and has insanely high interest rates that means you'll end up paying at least double for what you took out on. On top of that, the worthlessness of the degree means it's pretty much useless in your efforts to find a job. And whatever job you do end up getting, you can just assume that your boss wold lay you off the moment it could benefit the investors?

Yeah, that sounds about right. So instead of assuming that the reason why Millenials are living at home with their parents even after college and that must mean they're losers, perhaps we should try looking at the world that baby boomers failed to build a society that allows their children to earn a living wage and have the potential to have the same options and opportunities as they did themselves in a post war boom.

Especially because it seems that as it stands, they just come off as fucking leaches that have sucked the life blood from the world and are leaving their children to pick up the pieces like garbage sacks of human flesh that they are.

I've looked around for what the average cost of a home in Los Angeles, even the shitty parts of town are and I'm shocked beyond all measure at how basically it's impossible for someone coming out of college with massive student loans and the job market at the current status, in how they actually make it out in this world. I just don't see how they can. In reality, there's no way anyone who actually listened to the lies and bullshit that their boomer parents were feeding them can get ahead.

It's ironic too since typically parents want to make sure the world they're leaving for the next generation is one that isn't so "Fuck you, Got mine" and yet here we are.

So boomers, once again, FUCK YOU

Tuesday, February 26, 2019



I guess I just wanted to write this down for the sake that at this point and time, I just want to hear myself out loud express what I want for the future. It's also what I have wanted for the future for a while now.

I imagined that when I retired, which I guess I sort of am right now, that I would get a home in the Santa Ynez valley, or even further. Over the years the concept of moving to either Portland or Seattle has come up time and again and, well, since I have income generating and the ability to "time share" in said income generators, I could really be away from Los Angeles for weeks, months, etc. with the jump back of staying in my AirBNB when I do need to or find myself wanting to get that breath of fresh Los Angeles air.

Yes, I realize the irony of that statement, it doesn't make it any less true.

While up in a place where one can actually afford a home and some land around said home, I would just spend time writing more. I mean, I never really want to stop writing. I like doing it and after over 3,000 entries here and about 2,000 yelp reviews, I think I have a solid two dozen good pieces of work combined.

But I would also dedicate myself more for helping those in needs. A sort of animal rescue would be amazing. Adoption and just quality of life care would be very important to me. I mean, I am doing that stuff right now with the stray cats I feed. I carry cans of both cat food as well as dog food in my car in the event that I come by a stray that looks hungry or needs help. I mean, if I can offer it some help, why the fuck would I not?

It's what you do when the universe hands you something and how you respond to it that matters. And if offering help to another being, be it human or animal or just whatever doesn't instill a sense of wanting to be kind and do the decent thing, than I don't know what to tell you. It reflects more on who you are as a person. While it pains me to take on a the "feels" of it, I want to help out. Because that's what we should do for one another. It's holding myself to the mark and never forgetting who I am or what I am about.

Also, I do love the great outdoors. I love the open fields. While I was born and raised in Los Angeles, namely East L.A., I am one who loves to recharge by getting into nature. So yeah, I would like to have a place that has a wide open space and the closest you can really do that for something desired for my taste is if you started heading towards the Santa Ynez area and that gets pricey as all hell. Beautiful views though.

So there's some random mind spewing. Not really an article, but it is what I'm thinking.

Monday, February 25, 2019



I'm going to be real cheeky here. I don't have the typical drinking problem. I can handle my consumption of the distilled spirits variety. I don't over indulge even though statistically, those who work in brewing have a higher average of becoming alcoholics without realizing.

No, you see, my problem is that I just drink stuff way too fast. I'm not even talking about alcohol. Like, if there's a glass of water in front of me I'd probably finish it in a chug or two. Which can be a problem when the wait staff isn't as attentive to refill the glass. My consumption of any beverage just seems to be at a faster pace than  normal humans. You see, I'm parched and the only cure is to just drink as much as possible.

I mean, it's not a bad problem. I don't feel like I need to go to the bathroom any more than other people do. I'm sure I'm not consuming enough to wash away proper nutrients in my system. I mean, let's be real, I need to clean my insides just as much as the next guy, I'm just a bit more bulk rate at my take on it. You can say that I'm just a bit more thirsty than most.

Ice... ice is just a waste unless it's really hot out. It's taking up far too much room in a glass and it's only water that hasn't had time to become what I want it to be. Water. And it does me no good to have a liquid be a solid when I only have a specific amount of space in  my throat to have it go down in. I just hope that the ice melts fast enough that I can enjoy it as it in a form it once was in.

Back to my problem. When the wait staff doesn't come around to refill your water, what the hell do you do. Just sit there and look sad at the fact that the ice cubes aren't water and wonder how long will it be until you can put some liquid back in your mouth. It's tragic, really.

So yeah, I'm here to confess that I have a huge drinking problem.  Acceptance is the first step.

Friday, February 22, 2019



Over the last few weeks there has been a situation with an actor from the show Empire on Fox that, well, considering I don't watch the show, I really wasn't paying attention to it all that much. Well, the other day some new information came to light and, well, I think I need to chime in now.

As a society we constantly are looking for validation through the means of pity. It's really fucking sad and we should stop with it already. This sort of spoonie syndrome is a quick fix in getting attention that it's just not sustainable.. On top of that, what are you actually doing. You're making up bullshit at the cost of taking away actual sympathy for those who do suffer from these afflictions and so you're essentially doing some stolen valor shit up in here and that should be pointed out as high crimes.

We just live in a society where the "Look at me" crowd feels like that's the easier and faster way to get across in getting attention - something that seems to be the goal of most in this Instagram sort of world. And yeah, with all these easier means of standing on a soap box to scream out at the top of your lungs, it makes it that you can have a lot more ability to fake it for attention.

The problem with that is now many believe that the boy cried wolf one too many times and those who actually are vocalizing their issues get overlooked. The perception vs. the reality is all there. 

 Most of all, the reasoning for his staging of the hate crime attack was such a total fucking stupid idea to begin with, besides the fact that it was a dumb idea, the concept as to why he did it and what he hoped to get out of it is even more baffling. Actor Jussie Smollett had the attack staged because he was unhappy with his current pay rate on the Fox TV show and this attack would have bumped his face up a little more in terms of recognition. How fucking stupid is that shit? No one pays you more because of that shit. Most of all, you're standing on the backs of the people you paid to attack you for what? For interviews, a book deal or media outlet appearances and what? You just hoped that the attackers would never be caught?

This fucks up the world for a lot of folks who actually go through hate crimes. The far right is already using his instance as an example that "hate crimes" do not exist, well, they don't to them unless it's some inconvenience like causing them to get booted out of a liberal restaurant. The reality here is that of the 7,175 reported hate crimes nationwide in 2017, only 23 were fond to be false according to police and FBI data collected. In 2016, 16 of the 6,121 reported hate crimes turned out to be hoaxes. So you can see how this sort of situation and how much attention it is given in the media really paints a black eye for actual real life instances of hate crimes.

The same can be said about all those who fake illnesses or claim hardship that aren't really their own for the sake of attention and a moment of "Look at me!". It really gives the rest of it a black eye and perhaps we should be better about monitoring ourselves and not giving the attention to those who are clearly just doing it for that single reason.

Thursday, February 21, 2019



You know the photo. I mean, who doesn't know the photo? It is made famous because, well, we all took it to encapsulate the spirit of victory in a world war that, well, we sort of jumped in later on in and that crippled nations and, oh yeah, did I mention that Russia pretty much was kicking ass at and we totally didn't give them the proper amount of credit and thus started the whole cold war about.

Well, that iconic photo had two people. One sailor, George Mendonsa and Greta Zimmer Friedman, a dental assistant in a nurse's uniform. lips locked and very much kissing around full on celebration. What it doesn't have is consent. George, in a moment of straight up joy that the war was over and not having to ship off back to the thick of it, grabbed a random girl who looked like she was a nurse, but was actually in a dental assistant outfit, and dipped her giving her a full on kiss.

Let's just say she had no idea what was going on and I don't know about you, but with the clarity of today's equality and realization of what is and isn't okay to do without consent, is sort of lines that we should talk about.

Look, I get it, the shot is iconic. But at the same time it is problematic and highlights the fact that back then, and to a lot of degrees still now, women's consent seems like second fiddle to whatever a male wishes to do. That is something we're going to have to unpack and we have been avoiding doing so for so long. It's much like statues of confederate generals. Yeah, we want to honor our history and what not, but that history can have a lot of rather problematic situations along with it.

Maybe it's just that this dude's death brings up a big issue in that it reminds us of a time when you could assault women in the street, grab them against their consent and swap spit with them, get photographed and it was all something positive because of a bigger thing like the end of the war is more important than a woman's right to consent to an action. Now it seems that you can't do any of that and if you do, you'd have to settle for being President or having a seat on the Supreme court.

What I'm saying is eventually we will have to deal with the repercussions, right?

Wednesday, February 20, 2019



Whenever I'm at costco I generally go to the foodcourt first. Mainly because if you are buying a large amount of food items inside, you really don't want those frozen things to sit for any amount of time before you get them back. And I'll be damned if I eat a costco food item like pizza or a hot dog in the car on the drive home.  A whole rotisserie chicken on the other hand.. that shit is fair game.

But no, I generally stop to get food first. It's also a ritual to get that life force back up because you're about to go dodging and sliding past a lot of other customers. You're going to need that energy for the trip inside for whatever you came to purchase. On top of that, if you buy a hot dog, at least you get two refills out of it.

More than anything, you need to enjoy the atmosphere of costco's food court. Those white tables, you eating alone, it's the perfect recipe for some lonely person to come buy and sit with you to randomly talk to you for whatever reason. It has happened to me a couple of times now.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it. It's actually very nice and when that part of me that my mother raised and I got from her pops out, I can be a very social and conversationalist type of person. She would talk and talk to strangers. One time on an 8 hour bus drive, she just got into a long conversation with this one guy for the entire trip. It was astonishing to me, really.  But I don't mind striking up a conversation with someone if the mood hits me. I can be very social.

Anyhow, you have to sit at the table and that's the risk you take. I once took the slice of pizza to eat as I walked the store and it was the worse. Grease falling off the side, the pizza touching the metal shopping cart and who knows where the fuck that shit has been, ya know. So yeah, no thanks to that nonsense. I am sitting down regardless if some rando stranger decides to sit next to me and tell me his strange stories.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019



You ever wonder about those employees to a company that are super loyal to the brand even though the company would probably not hesitate to fire their ass at the moments notice in order to make a better bottom line dollar in profits?

You see this in the strangest places. Like pharmacy's like CVS. I mean, who the fuck even cares about the company there except that one employee who would take a fucking bullet in order to make sure that a product like a candy bar isn't stolen or that the register isn't short 10 cents. They think that by showing devotion, they can move up the ranks and while yeah, that has some merits, the majority of time it's just some foolish bullshit that they should otherwise be using that time and energy at an actual career that will yield them a better reward.

The whole notion that you will be with a company for 30, 20, shit, even 15 years is something that has been lost in time. No longer is that a certainty and more than likely the company will cut you for the increase of profits to highlight to the stock holders. Those are the people that companies now value the loyalty of. No longer any of you grunts on the ground. Appease the masters and all that jazz.

It really is a rare sight to see any company actually retain a lot of their employees for any given amount of time. Hell, I am already on career path 3 right now and I'm 38. I mean, I retired from an industry where if you take the collective amount of time I worked, I did 30 years worth of 9-5's, but still, in our life time the idea and concept of actually retiring with a company that was your sole employer is just so strange and alien that it's just not going to happen.

And with crushing student loans and employers looking out for stock holders, who the hell is actually getting that loyalty that deserves it. So I say don't be loyal to an employer. Be loyal to yourself. The rest of the world is loyal to their own self interest, you may as well look out for yourself now before you end up hating the fact that you didn't look out for #1 earlier.

Monday, February 18, 2019



On this President's day, I really don't want to acknowledge the piece of shit President we have currently.  Our country will have a black mark where that part comes in because he's not what we deserve. Okay, maybe he is because we are an awful nation filled with our own egos and we deserve this black mark on our history.

More than anything, he's just an awful President. From going on from shouting about emergency crisis at the boarder and following it up by going for a three day golf trip. Yeah, that's exactly what screams that our nation is under crisis.

No, typically on President's day I share this story of the former most corrupted President we had. Richard Nixon, even though I hate Reagan with just about all my being, Nixon was viewed as the worst president because of actually getting caught with all his bullshit. I'm sure he's sitting in his coffin happy now that we got what we deserved with a truly awful President.

But no, for as many faults that Nixon had, and certainly had so many, there was one shinning moment that I will forever point out that amazes me every time I think about it.

The Story of the Really Weird Night Richard Nixon Hung Out With Hippies at the Lincoln Memorial

It was one of the unlikeliest spectacles in Washington history: the President of the United States paying a late-night visit to thousands of radical protesters camped out at the Lincoln Memorial. Here’s how it happened. 

The lead-up to what remains one of the most bizarre moments in Washington history began on the evening of April 30, 1970, when President Richard Nixon announced in a televised address that the Vietnam War was being expanded into Cambodia.

Four times during his talk, Nixon rose from behind his desk in the Oval Office and, looking like a stiff-limbed geography teacher, made his way to a map of the war theater set up on an easel. The North Vietnamese base camps along the Cambodian border glowed in red. One, dubbed the Parrot’s Beak, pointed directly to Saigon, and from not far away. It was, the President said, as close to the South Vietnamese capital “as Baltimore is to Washington.”

Near the end of his talk, Nixon appealed for calm, especially on America’s college campuses. But he expected blowback—and he got it, nowhere more tragically than at Kent State University in northeastern Ohio.

“The weirdest day so far,” Haldeman began his diary entry for Saturday, May 9.

“Started with call from [domestic-policy adviser John] Ehrlichman at about 5:00 a.m., saying [the President] was at the Lincoln Memorial talking to students.”
Nixon, it turned out, couldn’t sleep Friday night—and couldn’t stop talking, either. Between the end of his 10 pm press conference and 3:30 the next morning, the White House logged 50 phone calls from the President, eight to national-security adviser Henry Kissinger alone. Shortly after the last call, Nixon roused his valet, Manolo Sanchez, to ask if he wanted some hot chocolate. Sanchez declined, but Nixon wasn’t discouraged. Had Sanchez ever seen the Lincoln Memorial, the President persisted. The valet apparently had not, and with that, the Night of the Weird began.
“I said, ‘Get your clothes on, and we will go down to the Lincoln Memorial,’” Nixon said in a version of events he dictated for the record several days later. “Well, I got dressed, and at approximately 4:35, we left the White House and drove to the Lincoln Memorial. I have never seen the Secret Service quite so petrified with apprehension.”
With cause. Protesters had already gathered at the memorial in advance of Saturday’s demonstration against the war, against the Kent State dead, against, most personally and viscerally, Richard Nixon himself. But a man on a manic high, as the President almost certainly was, and the commander in chief of the world’s largest army and his own Secret Service, as he constitutionally was, is not easily dissuaded.

A famous photograph captures the next scene: Nixon in suit and tie, the ski-nose profile tilted slightly forward, a handful of sleepy-eyed demonstrators listening in shock and dull amazement, maybe wondering what drug could have produced such an apparition, as the President reprised his press-conference triumph for an early-morning audience who, stranded on the Mall, hadn’t watched a moment of it.
“I said I was sorry they had missed it because I had tried to explain in the press conference that my goals in Vietnam were the same as theirs—to stop the killing, to end the war, to bring peace…There seemed to be no—they did not respond. I hoped that their hatred of the war, which I could well understand, would not turn into a bitter hatred of our whole system, our country, and everything that it stood for. I said, ‘I know you, that probably most of you think I’m an SOB. But I want you to know that I understand just how you feel.’ ”

That’s the President’s official account. The protesters would tell an alternate version to the press who descended on them that morning. Nixon mentioned Vietnam, but when that drew a tepid response, he moved to other topics. What college were they attending? One student was at Syracuse University, a chance for the commander in chief to talk about football. Another was from California—on to surfing.

Both accounts are in keeping with a President obsessed with war matters, battered by Kent State, challenged by small talk (aides commonly fed him three-by-five cards for such moments), and physically brave, but as the sun began to rise and word of the night visitor spread, even Richard Nixon had to acknowledge that it was time to leave.

If a President as hated for the war in Vietnam's continuing situation could go down and meet his detractors, the folks who are the complete opposite of his own views on the matter, and with some civility try to appeal for understanding, but that we currently live in a world where that couldn't happen at all, than I don't know what to tell you other than we need to try harder.

If fucking Richard Nixon can try to speak across the table, then what goes for our parties today just is garbage. We can't even listen to one another without death threats flying out or violence acted upon. This is just crazy that there was that much more respect for one another's views and how to reach a middle ground then than now.

I'm not asking you to be more civil to someone with opposing political views because it's easy. I'm asking you to do that because it is hard. It's difficult to open your  mind up to something that is just not your bag of tea. But we all are better off for it.

Sunday, February 17, 2019



15 years after it's initial 90 day mission and expectation, We have to say goodbye to the Mars Exploration Rover Mission Opportunity. It stopped responding and, well, as it said itself in the most fucking emo robot way "my battery is low and it's getting dark"

Not even Marvin the Robot from Hitchhikers was that emo, bro. snap out of it. In any case, the MER team tried to wake up the little robot by playing loud music. Because at the beginning of the project the team developed a ritual of waking up the robot with a nudge from its hibernation with such action.

Hoping that it would wake up after this most recent dust storm. Though it seemed as if maybe some dust was on its solar panels. Without knowing it, each member of the MER team all started beaming up to wake the rover songs such as "Star me up" by the Rolling Stones, "Kickstart My Heart" by Motley Crue.
“We had quite a bag of tricks of things to try to regain contact with the rover,” Dr. Squyres says. “We got all the way to the bottom of the bag.  Nothing ever worked, We tried eight months. Eight months. We tried everything that you could try and it just got down to the end and we’d done everything we could do.”

But before they declared the mission over, Dr. Squyres had one last message to send to Mars. One final wake up song.....

I'll Be Seeing You, as sung by Billie Holiday.

Thank you, Mars Exploration Rover Opportunity. You've done more than anyone ever expected of you. Thank you.

Saturday, February 16, 2019



Look, I grew up with the X-files and Twilight Zone and all sorts of manner of strange videos claiming some crazy bullshit that is straight out of left field. But I have to admit that it's actually a pretty solid move that YOUTUBE announces that they are no longer going to recommend conspiracy videos on their site to users.

The ease and access that folks have to not only soap box this crazy bullshit but also see a slew of other crazy nonsense is a little overkill if you ask me. I had a healthy dose of the nutty juice. Okay, that sounded wrong, but it's only because big Milk companies don't want you to actually drink nut juice. They're lining the pockets of other big companies to make sure that the only milk you drink comes from rats.

Yes, rats. Did you think that you were drinking cow milk? Silly person, how do you think that we support such a robust hamburger industry if we're keeping those cows alive to milk for... milk? man, when you think about it, the verb milk and the noun milk are the same but also have a different sort of usage. It's as if this is all being run by some super secret organization that is hell bent on controlling the masses.

I want to believe, Scully... I want to believe.

Anyhow, Youtube is no longer going to link you to some stupid conspiracy theory video because, let's face it, every fucking moron with some sort of bullshit half thought out conspiracy theory is posting their garbage rantings online and it really has lowered the actual ease in which you can get a decent conspiracy theory that you can sink your teeth into.

On top of that, why the fuck would you want to encourage Alex Jones even more. The fucktard is probably the worse of the worse and is a snake oil salesmen who has taken your idiot gun nut friends money a lot of times already.
The original blog post from YouTube, published on Jan. 25, said that videos the site recommends, usually after a user has viewed one video, would no longer lead just to similar videos and instead would "pull in recommendations from a wider set of topics."
For example, if one person watches one video showing the recipe for snickerdoodles, they may be bombarded with suggestions for other cookie recipe videos. Up until the change, the same scenario would apply to conspiracy videos.
YouTube said in the post that the action is meant to "reduce the spread of content that comes close to — but doesn’t quite cross the line of — violating" its community policies. The examples the company cited include "promoting a phony miracle cure for a serious illness, claiming the earth is flat, or making blatantly false claims about historic events like 9/11."

I think it's a great move and I hope it does curb the amount of fucking morons out there who believe shit like the earth is flat. It's already troubling that so many believe that the holocaust didn't actually happen and that was something that we still have surviving generations from alive and well. So easy is it to just dismiss the whole concept that these atrocities occurred and it's so easy to follow a narrative that others put out there. So perhaps not allowing every nut job a chance on their soap box is a good thing.

The irony of me saying that when I'm writing this opinion piece is not lost on me, I just know that those of you who read this... ha ha.. like anyone actually reads this blog! are doing so with a specific mindset that you're not all brainwashed idiots who are easily influenced.

Anyhow, yeah, at least now my youtube auto feed isn't going to go from T. Swift videos on to some stupid conspiracy theory 10 minute video. Now can something be done about all those count down videos?

Friday, February 15, 2019



I just remembered something that I forgot for years, or at least that wasn't on my mind for years. The Los Angeles Coroners office has a gift shop.

Let that sink in for a moment

The place where you have to only go when you need to identify a body or get copies of a death certificate has a gift shop.

But it's for a great cause. The store runs to help support special programs and more than anything else, it's a goddamn gift shop in the coroners office. How fucking cool is that all around? I first heard about it over a decade ago and apparently the place has been in operation for far longer than that. It's really a strange and morbid concept, but you can buy some really unique stuff there, such as a body bag suite/dress carrier. toe tags, shirts, crime scene novelty stuff.

I'm not sure if it makes me a morbid person to enjoy the fact that you can go to the coroners office and buy stuff, but I think it provides something more important than capitalism to a dark subject -  it promotes the conversation of death. So anything that helps move forward a death positive agenda is good.

My father died 5 years ago after a year long battle with cancer. In that year he never wanted to talk about the potential of his death even though the type of cancer he had only offered him the time essentially for a couple years at best. He didn't write a will. He didn't even include me or my siblings in the conversations he had with his father and siblings on matters of finances and it really fucked me over when I was the one that took over and tried to make sense of the estate.

Why? Because the topic of your own death is a scary one. It's one that you don't even want to talk about when it's pretty clear that death is coming knocking at your door. It is also something that is very important. I want to have control in as much as possible for my own demise. I have expressed what I want to happen to my body when I die. It's nothing taboo, but if I land on that metal bed under this gift store in the near future, I would like my wishes to be known long before. So the topic of death positive conversation is something that is very important to me. Step one is normalizing the fact that I will die. I do not know when, but I will die and that is very much apart of life and should be considered just as important and known as what I want to eat or what I threw up on the gram today.

On that note, I'm not sure I can encourage you to buy a Coroner's t-shirt all that much because the last time I did and I wore it to visit my grandmother in her retirement home, I think I inadvertently scared half the community there in wondering which one of their friends needs replacing from the weekly bingo circle. I guess there's a time and place to wear those types of things. Another location not to  wear it - while hiking. You're going to freak every other hiker out about there being a dead body in Griffith Park.  Spoiler alert, the place is full of them.

So yeah, go check out the gift shop, it's a truly unique aspect of Los Angeles that most don't ever have any clue about.

Thursday, February 14, 2019



 Okay, I'll be a little crude in this one and, by all means, realize I'm a gentleman but I just can't miss the chance to grab this low hanging fruit. But yeah, do definitely eat out. She'll appreciate it. Unless you suck at it.  wink wink nudge nudge say no more. Okay yeah. I just couldn't pass that one up.

In general though, a lot of my anti-valentine rants are not because of the affection you are showing towards your love one or the forced gifts that come with the whole day, but because of the capitalist bullshit around it in which places feel they can serve up a really expensive pre-fixed menu of garbage food because, well, they know you're in the position that you have to do this for your significant other or society has told you that you're a garbage person and you suck at relationships

The mindset of most kitchens on Valentines day is basically throw the same ol' shit on a pre-fixed menu and it's really not that special of a menu. The chef probably wants to move this one piece of shit item that normally doesn't move on other nights all that much, so they have the golden opportunity to move it in a packaged dinner that you can't just opt out of some items of.

In a sense, the whole thing is a scam because they lean into it so badly and know you don't have any other choice. But the reality is you do. And you should just accept that.

Don't go out to eat tonight. Like I mentioned, the experience food wise will be a complete waste and you'll be disappointed, only because you actually paid a lot for that shit would you try to justify it as you made your partner happy.

A better alternative would be to just cook at home. If you're in a nuclear sort of setting where the patriarchy is still living strong, your wife or gf will be the one that typically does the dishes and cooks for your lazy ass. I mean, I would have a lot of words for you - but it does make it so that if your ass actually cooked and cleaned for a meal, it would be that low bar and standards that you set for the relationship. But yeah, you'll be touted a hero.

But seriously, it's far more thoughtful to cook for someone, even if you don't know how to cook at all, and are just struggling, than it is to just go out - especially on this of all nights. Do you want to be in the same crowds as those out tonight? They are the fucking worse! The amount of love oozing out that would compete with yours is just off the charts. So yeah, do the solid and just try to cook tonight. You'll be a better person for it.

Also, do eat out. If you catch what I'm saying.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019



Look, I'm not sure about you but I don't want to be tied down. Especially not right now. I'm not talking about being in a relationship. I mean, we're in relationships if we like it or not since that's just life and social interactions. What I'm talking about is actually having my shoes tied.

It's a common thing for me to be told that my shoes are untied. I get that at least once a week and do you know why? Well, I hope you guessed that it's because my fucking shoes are untied. I generally don't like to get on one knee and tie them if they come loose. More often than not simply because the fuckers often get untied again in a matter of 15 minutes. That's not to say I don't tie them correctly. I even double knot those fuckers and they still find a way to get loose.

I think it's because the way my shoes lace up and the way my foot moves. I mean, it's very often that I find myself with my shoes untied and then some person who thinks they're doing me a solid goes out of their way to say it;

"Oh, hey, careful man, you're shoes are untied."

FUCK! Really? I hadn't noticed the lace hit my ankle when I walk. How about you mind your own fucking business, pal. How do you know my shoe lace stance? Maybe I want them to be untied. Maybe I want to live a little on the edge. Maybe I'm not some conformist piece of shit like you and want to risk my vertical position with the potential of a horizontal fall?  How about you mind your own shit, mother fucker! Trying to instill your standards of being tied down on me. HOW.FUCKING.DARE.YOU

Then I remember, maybe these folks just don''t know what it truly is to live. For how would you know the value of life and the whole aspect of enjoying it if you aren't two seconds away from falling flat on your face and having it all literally crash down.

Yeah, you can do what a kindergarten kid has learned to do. But maybe that's just more big government instilling their standards on you at an early stage. Who the fuck needs to be tied down or tie things down. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe we shouldn't lock everything down to a specific way it needs to be done. Here I thought this was fucking America, after all.

But yo, thanks, I guess. For telling me that I'm not doing something that you, a conformist piece of trash is living by. Maybe I'll just be my own me and you can be your own you.

Besides that, I have, in all honesty, never fallen over because one foot has stepped on the untied lace of the other shoe. I just haven't. Maybe I'm a rare bird in this mundane world, but that has never once happened to me. You know why? Because I know how to fucking walk and realize if my foot is standing on my other shoes' lace. there has never been a time when I have taken a fall because of it and if I do take a fall from it, you know what, I'm not going to die from it. At most it'll be like a little scab on my chin or hey, surprise surprise, I would assume that my motor skills and quick reflexes would have my mind automatically call to action my hands to be placed right in front of me to stop my fall in such a manner. so that my persons isn't critically injured.

Crazy how that shi works, right? But yeah, thanks for the heads up that by circumstances beyond my control and despite the willingness to tied them very tight once, that my shoes have defied me and spit in my face on the fact that I did to them earlier in the day when I put them on my feet by tying them then.

I get it, my shoe walking creates a whip action with my laces and slaps the ankles of whomever is standing near me. You know what tho, that's what normal people call personal fucking space. Maybe my laces flaying around are just an indication that you're not respecting my goddamn personal space and are standing too fucking close.

You ever think about that? No, you only think about yourself... and I guess that my shoes are untied.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019



I am single. This is actually the first time in a long time that I am actually single on Valentine's day. It's a rather strange thing considering... well, it's really not. I mean, even when I was in a relationship during this holiday we celebrate a beheaded saint who had a strange desire to marry random shit together, I probably complained about the corporate feeling that this forced holiday has.

In any case, maybe my wild and creative side can be harnessed by the power of you to make your own Valentine's day a little better.

Do not, under any circumstance, give her something you bought from the street corner. You know how they pop up like capitalist pigs sucking on the teet of consumerism every Valentine's day. With flowers, pink and red crap, teddy bears and other bullshit just looking for you to get that last minute item that you totally fucked up in not buying before. On top of that, the items they sell there are more overpriced than even the overpriced shit at the stores and it's all cheap looking and feeling. Besides, nothing says you give so little shit as the lack of effort you did in just rolling down the fucking window to pay for it, you may as well just not bother and move on.

Chocolate - Yeah, this is a tough one, but stay with me right here. It's expensive and nothing gets you in bigger trouble than the reality that you have to actually tell her the truth when you ask if she's gained weight all because you bought her fucking full price. what you should do instead is the following..

Go shopping the next day - I mean, it's simple. It's a proven fact of life and if you don't know that by now, then I don't know how you ended up fooling that woman to be with you. But the fact that they like to shop can be used to ease the fact that your valentine's day gift or experience sort of sucked. Mainly because on the day after Valentine's day - and most holidays for that matter, stores clearance out the shit that didn't sell at high mark offs. You know what's better than chocolate? Discounted chocolates. Women love deals. the more the better.

On top of that, you'll both still get fat in the relationship, it's just a fact of life.. But at least you'll do it at a discount so that you can afford the better things in life like health insurance.

Diamonds or some sort of proposal. Just don't fucking do that around Valentine's day. People already assume those couples going out are insufferable enough. You don't have to add insult or rub it in their face that they are even just doing the bare min. for this stupid hallmark holiday. Don't complicate your own shit either because how the fuck do you top that come next year? See, you're only dooming yourself and the sanity of others by proposing. We all know facebook is about dick swinging your cherry picked moments, this just screams that you're a huge prick.

Not to mention that if Valentine's Day is the anniversary of that scared moment, you just overshadowed a gift moment for her. It's like when people are born near Christmas and they only get one gift. Naw, dawg, you need to spread that shit around the year. I already feel bad for whomever has their birthday a month around Christmas before or after, that shit is just lost in the weeds and you can't just make it so that your year has so many droughts in terms of celebrations when you're gifting them something. So, you know, use your head a little on this one.

and STD. Yup, should go without saying that you probably shouldn't give them an STD on this holiday. I mean, I had no real material after that to follow up on. I'm really just padding the word count on this one. You know, perhaps you shouldn't give them an STD on any other night as well. Just get yourself checked, yo.

Some time off from the kids does not count as a gift. I mean, let's be real, you have so much of your own time off when you are dumping that parental responsibility on her anyway. Making it something as a gift is not fair. so just don't assume it will float because it fucking wont.

I mean, there's some things you shouldn't give her. I would also say a snake, some jumper cables and maybe the last of your fries. Mostly because the chances are when you were in the drive thru and you asked her if she wanted anything, she said no and what the fuck would you know, the moment your combo fries hit the seat she's already eating them. If you offer the last fries then you may as well have bought two of them cause fuck that shit. Am I not right?!

Monday, February 11, 2019



I wrote this review a long time ago for yelp, I figure that I'd rather post it here before Yelp decides to delete it as I found it to be one of my better reviews. So enjoy a morbid sense of perspective of a me from yesteryear.

Millions of people pass by it weekly and yet you only often hear someone toss out an occasional "Hey, it's suicide bridge".

This seems more like a road along the way than a proper destination, but I assure you that there's plenty of history and strangeness as well as beauty to this spot to turn it into a place you can reconsider into being a destination instead of just a path gone through.

First off, it's beautifully lit at night with very old school style lamps. Park on the street that is parallel to it and jump out of your car and walk the bridge. It's more than likely not going to have much car travel. There's a lot of little indents where you can just park your butt. I used to come here when I first went exploring through Los Angeles and I found this to be a very calming place.

I could just sit up here with a cup of 7-11 coffee and really clear my mind. Which I suppose is what those many who came here to clear their mind as well, only, theirs were cleared with the help of pavement hitting it as they jumped. It's not called Suicide bridge for nothing, now.

The first recorded suicide was on November 16, 1919 and during the great depression nearly 50 suicides happened between 1933 till 1937. Other reports suggest that 95 people jumped off this bridge between 1919 and 1937.

In 1993 it went through a 27 million dollar renovation which added suicide barriers. But as a testimony of the human will, you will constantly see balloons attached to the edge of the bridge. Yes, that's right, no matter if you bar it up, people will find a way to kill themselves here.

But besides all the death that happened here, it's really pretty bridge. I suppose if I wanted to end it all, this would be a great last view. Just have to close your eyes as you jumped. And really, if you have no intention on jumping, it's still a great place to sit back and watch the sun go down. You'll see the mountains to the north look amazing with the sun's light basking on them. The rose bowl sitting there perfectly and the view to the south is sort of like watching untamed nature as you can't really see all the homes with the thick trees.

But most of all, for those of you looking for Ghost hunting adventures, this place is a gold mine! How could it not be with all the death that happened here. Several spirits are said to haunt the bridge.

One ghost is a man with wire rimmed glasses and there's a vanishing woman in a long flowing robe. She's often seen standing atop one of the parapets, vanishing as she throws herself off. Consider it something like dinner theatre!

And if you want to trip out, look down. Below the bridge there is said to be a lot of ghost who walk the river bed. I have been running at night in said river bed.. it's creepy as hell. Strange sounds and cries echo there.

Now I'm not one to actually believe in Ghost stories, but there has been many times when it just gets really misty down there. Animals have been reported to act strange in the area as well. And the homeless, who you can really trust as a reliable source, have said that they have seen ghostly figures while they camp under the bridge.

Why anyone would want to be caught standing UNDER a bridge that has been known for people throwing themselves off it? I have no idea. It would be a good idea to come with an umbrella.

The most famous of the ghost stories is one death that happened in 1937. It's said that a mother, who was just left by her husband/father of her child was unable to get work, she resorted to just ending it all for both herself and her baby. Tossing first her baby and then herself off the side.. Only, the baby got caught in the tree branches and survived. The mother, who died in the jump is rumored to wander around the bridge searching for her baby..

And while I'm sure the builders never thought it would get a nickname of "Suicide Bridge", I'm sure they're just going to enjoy it. Besides, they're all dead anyway. The thing was built in 1912. A little under one hundred years old.

And if you don't want to go on here for the Ghost, you can always wander around it because of the historic value that this was part of Route 66 from 1926 through 1940

Sunday, February 10, 2019



OH, I'm sure you have heard it a million times. Someone self proclaiming that they are a nice guy and they don't know why it always comes and bites them in the ass in life and how unfair it is and that the jerks and assholes of the world get ahead while they are stuck in places like "the friend zone" or just get taken advantage of and walked all over.

I'll throw it out there and say you're mistaking and using the word nice guy wrong. What you are is someone who doesn't have the drive to do the work to achieve what you want. If you're getting walked over, that's because you allow yourself to get taken to a point where you weren't at the cost of getting what you wanted. When you don't receive the transaction value of what you put out, then you say you were ripped off and start feeling taken advantage of.

I'll let you in on a little secret, that's not being a nice guy. That's actually just acting like a nice person when your real intent is pretty clear and you're obviously looking for an exchange for your services of being a not really nice person. You are selling a fake bill of goods. Stop acting and just do. If you aren't being kind to others for the sake of being kind to others, then you're not doing it right. You only acted that way because you wanted something. If that's who you are genuinely and it's pretty fucking disgusting.

Patton Oswalt recently got a simple attack by some random person on twitter and instead of making ti a whole flame war back and forth, he did a little dive into the guy's past and saw a lot of medical issues and instead of making it a war, he posted the dude's gofundme link and had a simple message that "he's been dealt some shitty cards - let's deal him some good ones"   you see that, that's being  a nice guy. It's being able to keep it as a joke in life but also realizing when someone needs help and for no real reason other than it makes you feel good and it is the right thing to do, you do it. 

So just stop calling yourself one of the nice guys. You're ruining the concept that there's actually folks out here that do live their life like that without the need for something in exchange. 

Friday, February 8, 2019



Clearly someone wants to remove as many of my old reviews as possible since this is now the 7th one in a matter of a few months. Oddly enough, this movie theater event was an official yelp event. So I have no idea what use it even has being on the site given it was a one time and done sort of thing. But also, wouldn't you think that if it was offensive, it would have been removed a long time ago?

Purely strange on all accounts.

We're reaching out to let you know that our moderators removed your review of Yelp TransformERs Gold Class Cinemas.

We typically remove reviews that address culturally sensitive subjects in ways that reinforce negative stereotypes or make light of physical or sexual violence.

In this case, we felt that your review of Yelp TransformERs Gold Class Cinemas crossed that line, even if you didn't intend it to. The text of your review is copied for reference below, and we hope you'll continue to share your experiences on Yelp while keeping the Content Guidelines in mind. To learn more, check out our Content Guidelines (

Removed Content:
How do you walk out of at the end of a movie that is so bad and makes you want to laugh out loud at how absurd it is with a smile on your face?

I'll tell you the secret. Walk in there double fisting drinks. I mean it. Transformers made me almost want to laugh out loud in the theater in numerous over dramatic scenes. I mean, you're talking robots who turn into cars... you really shouldn't have that much tela-novela style ups and downs.

But thanks to the non-drinking Michael W. for giving me his tickets he didn't use being a sober sandy, I was able to drink two drinks and then walk into the theater double fisting it with two more. Oh man, that made the world of difference in my enjoyment for this 3D rape of my eyes.

The theatres.. well, they were way out of my league. They had a fairly stocked bar with some pretty decent stuff on tap. I mean, you have green flash beer on tap, how could you go wrong?

Then the seats.. AWESOME. Thanks Katie, that was an awesome event and even though the movie was a giant pile of.. well, you know, I still had an awesome time. Even though I lost my +1 and they were off in another theater and who the hell cares.

I had two drinks while watching this turd. Oh yeah, I saw Paul in the lounge. I didn't get to chastize him for finally getting an event up in Pasadena, but here we go. HA HA! See, Pasadena finally gets one.

Yeah. the theater was cool. Probably would go back if I was into the film being a type I wouldn't mind getting crunk for before the show. Thanks to Katie for GOOooooooooooood Times

A+ all the way.

The Yelp Support Team
San Francisco, California

I don't even have a fucking clue why this one was flagged.  Double fisting? I mean, that's not a sexual reference, it's literally me saying I was holding two alcoholic drinks in my hands. Welp, no wonder I stopped giving a shit what that company does in its shady as hell practices being a review site.

Thursday, February 7, 2019



If I'm speaking frankly, I have to admit that I always hated that question. It's one that I feel is boarder line to personal and even crosses the line to be a bit rude. While innocent in nature, and mainly asked to get a sense of the type of person you are, what it touches on the way to that center is basically defining you based on what social economic position you are in.

Oh, you're a doctor? How nice. Oh, you fix cable? Well then. I guess if you're happy.  Ultimately, the better question isn't to inquire what one person does for a living, but instead ask if they are happy in what they are doing and find happiness in that. Which really should be the only factor that anyone should give a fuck about anyway.

Are you happy doing what you are doing.

Or maybe I'm just a little insecure in that question because for the longest time I have had the most difficult time answering that question. When I worked in the tv industry, I had to explain my job to a lot of folks who weren't familiar with what the production side of things were like. Unless you're a director, actor or known name on a film or show, then who the fuck gave a shit about you, right? I did that for 15 years. Mind you, I had typical 16-18 hour work days. So basically my career spanned what would almost be 30 year's worth of a normal 9-5 type of job. So when I tell people "I'm retired from that", there's a pretty valid reason. I basically had a life time's worth of a career. More so than the typical boomer who retired after working X amount of time in their field.

So what is it that I do now?   Survive.

I was wise in that I invested in a building to finish off and generate income for the rest of whatever life I have. Or, just take a lump sum and cash out. Both of which could probably float me by for the rest of my life in a comfortable living that I'm used to.  Add in that I do get some money from working all that time where I was on the back end. So basically, if I say I'm retired, it's sort of true.

As for the money pit that I call my building. I mean, I'm making it what it is and I'm proud of it. A side note, through out the years I have paid towards it in a big way and it is completely paid off. I only pay property taxes on it and that isn't a whole lot annually. So other than maintenance, which it does have a lot of, the place is pretty well established. I guess the answer to the question is that I'm a landlord - which also doesn't have all that positive of an image to it. Sort of like saying you're a lawyer, there's a bit of a stigma there even though lawyers are fucking important as hell and truth be told, I have a lot of respect for considering how many I know close as friends, as well as how hard it is to pass the examines. 

But if you boiled it down to those two things - former industry worker and landlord, it doesn't sound like it properly represents me. Shit, even if you take my other job working for a brewery, it doesn't even sound all that it has class or prestige. And that is a fun and carefree job that I have loved for the last few years in doing all sorts of aspects behind the scenes and has taken me traveling for beer festivals.

But again, none of those sound like socially high ranked jobs that someone simply asking you what you do for a living would be all that impressed with.

On top of that, I do the following - Pursue my passions.

Simple as that. I make a slew of cooking magic, I infuse and blend alcohol to make new flavors. I cook whole goddamn pigs, sometimes in places that are harsh like city parks and desert wastelands. I cater and have been on billboards for Farmer Johns. I create, I craft. I am me and I hate the idea of being defined by something that should only have one factor in it - do you like doing it. Oh, I guess also, does it allow you to live to do said things you like doing.

Most of all, I'm a fucking writer. A published one at that, so yeah. I feel like even telling people you're a writer just makes them look at you like you're some script slinging loser in Hollywood. I spend several hours a day writing. Not all of it gets thrown out some place. A lot of it is for me. To flex that muscle. To express myself. To just define myself through the means that I have some control over.

Because at the end of the day, most folks don't really have a say or control in the matter of finding a job that they love. More than often it's a job that will pay the bills and keep food on the table. It's a grind. It's what you can get when you need it and the whole aspect of it defining who you are to the eyes of others just makes me feel like we're missing the point of better understanding one another as people.

It's probably the worse question you can ask someone to better get to know who they are as a person. So yeah, instead when you're doing small talk, how about you lead with "Do you like what you do?" or "What is your concept of fun?"

Wednesday, February 6, 2019



That was the question and topic of a lot of conversations and well, to be honest, it did suck that, for as much as I love Jessie and her Calico Jane sort of style, she wasn't Bo Peep and Bo's role in Toy Story 2 was tiny as all hell which turned to "who dis?' in Toy Story 3. With Jessie in the picture Bo Peep, while not even Woody's love interest, was the center stage of the new only 1 female lead required. And it sucked. It was like since they partnered up Buzz, they couldn't have room for another relationship and wrote off Bo Peep as just being sold in a yard sale - which, wow. Talk about fridging a female character so easily.

A couple weeks back there was some leaked promotion art where it did show Bo Peep being back to some degree, her arms wrapped and what looked like the potential of pants instead of a skirt.

Disney Bounding is dressing up in homage or, at least to the best of your ability to skirt the "no costumes" that the park has but come as a character. It can be done just by putting together a line up of colors that mirror the character, and honestly, it's whatever you want it to be for yourself.

Then there's a twice a year event called Dapper Day in the Parks. It's where you dress up your basic sunday best as seen in the original concept art for the construction of the park. I guess Walt just assumed that everyone would come in their most impressive clothing at the time and you wouldn't have swollen feet from the shoe choices.

Well, upon seeing this mock-up of Toy Story 4's Bo Peep, I immediately started thinking a Bo Peep bound would be, but more to the point, I was trying to come up with ways to make it a gender-bending bound. The way I see it, there's a lot of male characters that get a female version of a bound happening. I mean, it's generally accepted that a woman can dress up as their take of Woody, Buzz and just about anyone they wanted to. I mean, more power to them and I actually really appreciate how they come out.

But I seldom, if ever, see the opposite happen. It's very rare to see a male bound as a female Disney character. And I'm not sure if it's because of some sort of insecurity thing or what, but it's a little bit of an annoyance to me. Just because you're bounding as a princess or other female character doesn't take anything away from your own identity.

Bounding, to me, is just showing enjoyment and wanting to highlight your own love for the character who brought you some amount of entertainment or hey, you wanted to dress as like you would on Halloween. So to me, the idea of flipping the genders and being a male Bo Peep bounder was an interesting one that got me even more invested in this sort of stand to highlight how much Toy Story 3 did a disservice to the character. But the bounding idea appealed for another reason, since, well, in the case of my own ethnic background of being a Spanish-Basque, there is a rich long history of Shepherds.

When the official photo came out, I had a strange feeling because it was almost to the essence of what I was trying to come up with my bound of her. Though I had the idea of putting pink polka dots on the pants instead of having the cape be made out of her previous skirt. I even did the whole "grab a bunch of pictures for references instead of sucking it up and starting a printrest account" route for source material and inspiration;

Will I still do it? Probably. At this point I have had this conversation about what happened to Bo Peep for the better part of a year even before the teaser for the new movie has come out. I would want to follow though on this bounding. It's a far cry from my old days of bounding in very low key styles.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019



I mean, as much as I like to pout and rant that the day is a corporate excuse to make you spend your money and you should probably show your loved ones that affection all throughout the year, I really was never anti-valentines day. Or at the very least the concept of it. I mean, let's just get it out there, I am a very big romantic at heart. I have all the gestures and will be thoughtful and what not. So an excuse to go a little extra is always nice, but at the same time I fight my inner struggle of feeling like so many do it for the wrong reason or that they were just taken hostage by a hallmark created holiday

I do hate the price hiking that happens on this day. Shit that is normally very reasonable becomes stupid expensive. So maybe I'm just opposed to the consumerism attack on the fact that you want to show your loved ones that you care on this particular day.

Saying that, I do take a little enjoyment in being anti something. It's that rebel spirit in me. Oh, the school of fish is swimming this way? Fuck that, I'm going the other way. Good luck sheeple! sort of mentality. But still, that is the way I think sometimes. I don't know why. It's my wiring. I am sometimes all for something and then just the slightest hint that it's mainstream's idea of the norm and I'm all up against it.

Back to V-day. I can't even say I had terrible experiences or a specific reason why I would be jaded. I have had pretty good luck in being in a relationship or having some romantic interest for the majority of my life during the V-day season. I guess maybe that's where it comes in. Having to be told that I had to do something and making it feel like it wasn't my specific choice. I am, by my very nature, a very thoughtful and giving person. So it's not even the notion that I have to make the gesture, because believe me, gestures are my middle fucking name.

Like, I would have done pre or post sort of things because of the notion that it just HAD to be on that one day pissed me off. It made it feel less special of a gesture because everyone is essentially doing it on that day. What is the special aspect of going out to dinner if you are around 90 other couples who are doing that same exact thing?

I guess it's also a factor of what the partner actually wants and if it's important, but should it really be? Is that a reflection of one's inability to maintain that level of communication that you are meeting the normal daily amount of affection that the other desires that you somehow have to do something on a hallmark holiday for a decapitated saint? Man, this shit is getting all existential all up in this bitch. 

Fine, I'll just go pick up the goddamn flowers on the way back from work!

Monday, February 4, 2019



Look, I know that shopping at Costco can be scare because of how much of the product you get, well, I'm here to tell you that as a single man who lives alone (be it with too many cats) that you too can live the costco life without fear that you are going to just end up throwing a lot of food away.

You see, it's about finding that right balance of what you use and what you buy. First off, I would highly recommend that you get a cold freezer. Everyone who shops at Costco should have a chest freezer and that's just the facts to that. Otherwise you're just playing Jenga with your purchases and the amount of cold storage items you can buy at costco is insane. Not to mention that you won't have to worry about figuring out how to make everything fit right. Simply put, the value of  your shopping basically skyrockets when you have a chest freezer.

But don't buy one of those that is a stand up freezer.  Sure, you can see everything you have, and the one complaint and rookie mistake that folks do is just throw things into a chest freezer not organizing it well enough to be able to pull things out. Because if you're losing food in your chest freezer, maybe you're just really bad at that sort of thing.

The real problem with stand up freezers is that they're horribly inefficient because they drop the entire batch of cold air out every time you open the door due to gravity. That's why chest freezers are so efficient. They don't lose anything. Also, it's like 3-5x cheaper per square foot than a stand up freezer just in terms of the materials required to make a chest freezer versus a full size stand up freezer.

Thankfully costco sales them as well. Though, let's just flat out say it, maybe you can buy both and have the stand up freezer for the stuff you'll use immediately and need access to in your kitchen, but also the chest freezer is great for when you need to keep a lot of cold storage items. Then again, you probably could just do with two chest freezers instead if you do require that much frozen space.

Saturday, February 2, 2019



This year Valentines day will be missing one thing. No, beyond a significant other. I mean, whoa, that's crazy. I won't have the option to complain to someone that Valentine's day is the corporate shell of a holiday that hallmark probably used to make millions and then brain wash us into other stupid purchases that are some what forced...

Anyhow, let me stop myself there and get on with the point, I assure you, I'll do a Valentine's day "rant" some other time. We have a whole other 13 days left to go. But anyhow, it seems that those chalky candy that you really wonder if they were updated in the last century with their commentary will hit the shelves... the sad news is they won't. 

New England Confectionery Company — or Necco — made the conversation hearts, which have been a staple of Valentine’s Day gifts for decades. But Necco had a tumultuous 2018, abruptly shutting down in July after an investment firm bought it from a bankruptcy auction. It got new life when it was subsequently bought by Spangler Candy Co. in September, but by then it was apparently too late to restart production and distribution in time for Valentine’s Day.
In an email, Spangler confirmed it has yet to restart production of Sweethearts, along with Necco Wafers and Canada Mints.

About 8 billion Sweethearts are typically produced annually, with the full supply sold in the six weeks before Valentine’s Day, online bulk-candy seller

Truth be told, I wasn't even aware other than the year they "updated" them by making them say something more hip and technology centric, that they even produced these each year. I imagined that the stores that got them in each year were just pulling from a massive warehouse out in Area 51 next to the Alien hangar in a giant surplus of conversation starter candy crates created in the 50's but never sold, thus they were just sent back for the rest of the year to sit next to the frozen head of that dissected Alien.

What? Too much? Nah, just messing. I do enjoy reading those conversation starters for the sole purpose of seeing how outdated conversation skills actually are these days.  Or in the olden days for that matter, because if those topics were the start of a conversation, I'm pretty sure my anti-social ass, who already doesn't want any part of social interaction, would have my brain leave my body during the middle of whatever conversation was to follow.

They were cute, kitschy and funny to some degree to see social awkwardness, but man, those were not riveting conversation starters. But hey, at least they'll be back next year. Here's hoping they actually update them a little in terms of things said to actually reflect the modern world were no one cares about candy unless you can't have it.

Friday, February 1, 2019



Look, you may have a difference of opinion, but you're wrong. Costco is fucking amazing and I don't know why you haven't converted to my religion of Costco yet. I've been pushing this agenda for a while here on this page and well, look, it's an institution that you need to get on top of.

Also, if your spouse is not on the train with you about Costco, well, what kind of marriage is this? You need to go get a divorce. Because we simply do not talk ill about Costco.

Say for example your significant other shames you for being annoyed that Costco no longer stocks a particular item and so you vigorously shake the costco associate by the arms screaming at them to fix your broken marriage.. WHY, KAREN, WHYYYYY? What did bill in accounting have that I haven't provided you!?!

See, at that point you just stroll down to the books and other strange misc. area that is in every Costco for some reason and you pick yourself up a Kirkland brand marriage counseling package. Good news, they come in twin packs! Great value, Much awesome good times.

And if that doesn't work, just go for the Costco divorce. It's offered as you leave the store next to the Solar Panel person and the Air heating system dude selling you something.

But seriously, if your life partner doesn't know the wonders of Costco and sings its praise like a religion, then you two just were not meant to be and you should kick bricks. At least you didn't have kids.... or did you? I mean, why else would you be shopping at Costco if you hadn't cranked out a few bottomless mouths?