Monday, September 30, 2013

Breaking Bad - Some Final Thoughts

Breaking Bad - Some Final Thoughts

AMC ran a  massive marathon for Breaking Bad over the last weekend as it lead up to the final episodes. In watching this series for the 10th time, I just can't stress how amazing it seems the writers paid attention to their own show. There's so many set ups and turn arounds there that are really early in the show.

Like when Jesse is terrified of Tuco coming for them, he decided to pull a revolver out of a drawer, throws it on the counter and says "It's either him or us."

This scene is pretty much a mirror image of what Walt does when talking to Jesse about Gale.

You then have Hank watching Walt and Jesse steal the methylamine barrel. As they're lugging the barrel along, Hank yells at the screen "try rolling it, you morons" Which is what Walt eventually does with his one barrel. 

At one point Tuco says they're all going to go to Mexico. Walt's protest to this is that he says "I can't just uproot myself and leave, I have a family"

Hee hee, oh man, foreshadowing to the third to the last episode where he uproots himself and leaves.

But taking a moment to touch on that Gretchen aspect that a lot of folks complained for the longest time was dropped by the waist side, let's address that for a moment. You see, Pride is Walt's greatest weakness. which is why he didn't take their money.

According to the actress, directed by Vince Gilligan, Gretchen came from a very wealthy family, and when she first introduced Walt to her parents, Walt in all his pride realized that he could never fit in with or match to that background. So he left her basically on the spot that day and cashed out his shares in Gray Matter to get away from her.

Many may not agree with me, but this little information serves to help reinforce something I've always thought about Walt from the beginning. There is something bizarrely noble about wanting to do it yourself, it's a running theme of masculinity and success, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to. That's why, I think at the beginning, even though it started out really bad.... many people could agree with Walt doing what he did. But the show masterfully deconstructs the darkness that comes from this thought carried out to its extreme.

On the other hand, Walt and Gretchen reminds me of Walt and Gus. New money vs. Old. He's never quite going to fit in no matter how well he does at being a chemistry wiz or a crime lord.

But I guess it's just a Western theme, a frontier theme. In this scenario, Walter White is the archetypal frontiersman. He wants to make it himself, on his own terms to the point that faced with his mortality, he steps over the frontier into a violent world. Now, in an earlier time when the western pioneer was seen as an unvarnished good guy and the frontier narrative was about white power reshaping an unformed wildness and savagery in the heart of North America, Walter would be the protagonist without question despite his behavior.

But Breaking Bad, is just that, a revisionist Western in the darker mode of Sam Peckingpah or New Western history. And Walt is actually not the individualist pioneer he imagines himself to be, he really is the bad guy in all of this.

Either way, I loved this show and it was great seeing it from start to finish.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Ending Bad

Ending Bad

It all leads up to tonight's episode. Here's some things to get you extremely pumped up for this final episode to what is the most amazingly thought out and scripted drama. Far beyond The Wire. Yes, I said it. Fuck The Wire when compared to Breaking Bad.

With those two jazzing you up, we get to the downfall of Walt's empire. When the shit hit the fan and when it all came crumbling down...

Which leads to Walt's departure to the Live Free or Die state of New Hampshire. Which leads into our final episode with Walt realizing that the legacy he is leaving, with the legacy that he has left being the Blue Sky meth and his choice that he needs to now be an Empire Destroyer when just last season he was an Empire builder.

Tonight can't come soon enough. But then once it does... Breaking Bad will be over.

So bittersweet.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Breaking Bad - The End

Breaking Bad - A Recap

Tomorrow marks the end of Breaking Bad. A show that has taken Malcom in the Middle's Hal to a new level of awesome. Basically showing how a straight laced chemistry teacher could break bad so badly and turn from a good man to... well, a monster.

In the event that you haven't caught up, here's a catch up on what you missed for five seasons.

Walter White Did it His Way

Walter White Did it His Way

And now, since the end is near. Why don't we see Walter face the final curtain with some mash up style.

That one now joins the ranks of some of my favorite Breaking Bad Mash Up's...

And you can't forget this re-edit.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Fixing Breaking Bad

Fixing Breaking Bad

Yeah, more Breaking Bad, but it deserves these fixes, man!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Breaking Into Laughter - Breaking Bad

Breaking Into Laughter - Breaking Bad

Here's a gag reel from Season 5a

And here's a little making of section of an earlier episode from this current season

Yeah, Bitch!

Yeah, Bitch! 

With Breaking Bad ending this weekend, let's just take a moment to call you a Bitch a couple more times...


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Breaking Bad's Mike is Awesome

Breaking Bad's Mike is Awesome 

With Breaking Bad ending very shortly, this is a little one last shout out for how bad ass Mike was.

Now Mike tells a fairy tale.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

What The Fuck Was That, Dexter?

What The Fuck Was That, Dexter?

Oh, go fuck yourself, show. Go fucking die. Wait, you're over now. Either way, go fuck yourself, Dexter! 

After the season started and it went down in quality... something which I didn't think was humanly possible considering fucking awful the last few seasons of Dexter have been.... But yeah, I could have foreseen a lot of possible outcomes to this show, and not a single one of them involves Miller Time.

It was fucking bad. I mean, it was really fucking bad. Though, I don't know about most of you, but right after I watched the pilot 8 years ago, I called it. I said that guy, that serial killer is gonna become a fucking lumberjack.

I'm not even sure what the point of that epilogue was. You tell me the difference here:
Dexter dies and is gone from everyone's lives forever
Dexter fakes his death, becomes a lumberjack and is gone from everyone's lives forever.

There's really no practical difference except Dexter gets to live in one and dies in the other. But I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's go back to the final confrontation of this season. Between some random killer named Saxon and a bounty hunter named Elway who are after Dexter and his suddenly love of his life, Hannah. That alone is a terrible match up.

What's worse is that Dexter is constantly given this bullshit line that no matter how much selfish shit he does, nothing is ever his fault and that he deserves to be happy. Fuck you, show. Fuck you Deb for even saying that line and not simply laying there silent in protest to such shitty writing.

Does he deserve love? I mean, how the fuck is he in love with Hannah to begin with? She's a wanted serial killer who is very recognizable and chooses to not change her hair or make up or anything for that matter and goes out in public.. in this last episode even went to a damn airport and somehow wasn't noticed, but sure enough an ER nurse notices her.

Saxon getting caught at the hospital is probably the first time in several years that Miami Metro has actually caught a criminal. But that quota of being a decent police force can't go on for too long, they had to allow Dexter to come in and killer their nation wide wanted persons of interest.

How come Saxon, an experienced serial killer who knows how to remove brains, decided to poke Dexter in the shoulder with a pen rather than do what Dexter did and stab him in the neck? Or even in the eye.. or shit, anywhere it might have actually killed or at least severely wounded Dexter?  I don't get how this could even be self defense.

I can't talk enough about how Deb died. I mean, just a few seasons ago she got the same gut gunshot and survived. But I guess that in an attempt to add drama to this show, she gets brain damage. I'm sure that the doctors tried to explain it simply that his sister has taken a turn for the worse and it appears that she has substantial brain impairment that she can only now express herself with only a string of gibberish such as "shitcock, motherfuck, Jizzbuckets".

That's our Deb!  :Credits roll:

Instead we have Dexter go into the hospital and kills Deb. Make no mistake, he killed her. Then he wheels her body out of the hospital on a gurney and carries her onto a boat, because nobody in Dexter's Miami pays attention to anything ever. How did he get past all those people? Also, hospitals in Miami, for some reason have boat parking. Go figure.

I couldn't help it, I just laughed way too fucking hard at Dexter carrying Deb's body out to his boat and tossing it in the water. I mean, what if Quinn wanted to see this professed love of his life again or to mourn her and give her a proper burial? She was entitled to a police funeral with full honors and all that jazz. but Dexter just dumped her in the water like the corpse he killed. It's pretty clear that he doesn't give a shit about anybody. At the most, she'll end up just getting a fucking stupid bench in the park and end up being a body that washes up due to the hurricane.

But after he dumps her body, he drives his boat into the hurricane due to this notion that no one can be safe around him. But then again, driving himself into the hurricane isn't the best or most responsible choice for a sole surviving parent of a small child to do.

Speaking of that whole situation with Hannah and Harrison...

It was fucking hilarious how Elway magically appeared on that bus. Had he been sitting there the whole time and Hannah just was too blind to notice? Or how about the fact that she never leaves home without a syringe full of horse tranq. Boy that tension lasted all of 5 seconds. What a wonderfully happy ending that Dexter had in finally getting rid of the last of his kids. Sure, he had to ditch him with a serial killer in a foreign country, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

The writer's justification for all this was "In some ways, it's almost the fact that because she is a killer, that makes her more worthy of protecting his son" Man, that's fucking so beautiful, I want to laugh some more.

Harrison is going to have some really awkward conversation with Hannah when he gets old enough to start asking things like "Wait, so what happened to my real parents? And how did you meet my dad again?" That's assuming she doesn't just poison that annoying little shit Dexter stuck her with. Or maybe she'll just buy a treadmill.

But it is troubling that Dexter just sent Harrison off into a hurricane on a bus with his serial killer girlfriend just so he won't have to do any parenting for the rest of the series. It's not like he has done much parenting anyway.

If Dexter really cared about Harrison, he'd have sent him to live with his grandparents along with Astor and Cody. He had a great and reasonable option that wasn't "send him off with a wanted murderer who I've known for a few months." and he choose to do the opposite. Shit, even thinking about Astor and Cody, who I doubt you even remember who they are, but they just lost a half-brother to some other country and a serial killer. How fucked up is that? 

The whole season just felt so disjointed and it seems that the writers came up with it over the course of a night after a shit ton of drinks. Half the characters on the show had story lines that went absolutely nowhere. It was like they were told an hour before shooting that these actors were under contract and they needed to be doing something to fill up air time.

Masuka, who I don't even think was in the last episode, and his daughter was the most glaring of pointless stories. It had to be the biggest waste of time of all. I mean, I like the actress from Friday Night Lights, but it's pretty comical that she has to do this show and take off her top on screen for a new gig while you have Landry over in Breaking Bad being utterly amazing. The whole daughter story just sort of fizzled the worst of all the loose ends this show created.

Then you have Quinn who wanted to be a Sergeant for the first half of the season and then when he didn't get it, acted as if it never even happened. And what about the woman who did get the promotion? You never saw or heard from her again. Matthews for some reason was protective of the Hamilton family all season as if they had secrets to be protected, but it never ended up anywhere. And as for Zach, did anyone seem to care after he went mission outside of a short conversation between Vogel and Matthews? Nope.

But here's a sum up of a few subjects to think about after watching the finale:

Masuka's daughter
That chick that got promoted over Quinn
The bloody stuffed animal
Blood Slides
Hannah tried to kill deb
Chicky Heines
LaGuerta bench
Brain surgeon dude was going to expose Dexter if caught
He walked by a hospital full of people carrying a body
He walked by a hospital full of people carrying a body
Lumen is still alive
Dark Passenger
Quinn was suspicious that Dexter was a killer
Dexter once murdered a man in an airport and left the body in unclaimed luggage
Dexter used to have a bug-out-bag for if he had to flee Miami
Where did the half a million dollars Hannah had go? Did it magically get into a bank account after being in a suitcase?

I'm sure I could go on for a long time about all this, but I can't even believe people were paid to produce this show's season.
In the end, if you've ever watched a second of this show, you really need to go and watch season 8 because you need to understand how incredibly important it is that you not accidentally mislead someone into thinking this show is worth watching.

Because it should be well know that it's not. Fuck this show for being good the first season and making me feel obligated to keep watching.

Getting Lucky At Mario Paint

Getting Lucky At Mario Paint 

Oh hey, look at this. Another no content day. I'm hard at work on some other side projects that got me typing away at something important. So I don't have time to talk about how Obama is being silly with Syria, or whatever it is this blog seemed to have morphed into since the days that I was actually a comedy writer.

Still, here's this little GET LUCKY rendition that is well worth your few moments of your time;

Product Placement 5-0

Product Placement 5-0 

Since the new fall season has gotten its start, I thought I would take a moment to point out the god awful product placement that you have been missing, but damn are they're trying their hardest to make up some of the cost of production. Just look at this shit.

Which isn't something all that new considering the microsoft product placement that has happened with a lot of shows in general. But this next one is really a bit much and does step over the line a little. You tell me if you don't believe so.

Talk about taking advantage of those five dollar foot longs.I mean, let's be real, here. Hawaii 5-0 is in itself a product placement for Hawaii. It's a show that originally showed up when the tiki and south Polynesian culture was in getting you to go on vacation on that newly added state.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Breaking Bad - Huell

Breaking Bad  - Huell

I wonder what happened to the poor dude..

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Better Call The Real Life Saul

Better Call The Real Life Saul 

By now you're well aware of Saul Goodman, the attorney on Breaking Bad that injected such a comedic tone to the show. You may remember him from season 2;

But that ad just makes you wonder if there's a real life version of him. I mean, you know it's true. But who could be as scummy as this;

Well, I have your answer. Take a look at this fella and his ABQ advertisements.

Now look at this Saul Goodman ad dealing with boxing;

I mean, sometimes life just imitates art and vice versa

And here's some more just for shits and giggles

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Craig Ferguson Explains Why Everything Sucks

Craig Ferguson Explains Why Everything Sucks

Of all the late night show host, I think that Craig's my favorite. He has a sort of charm you don't find every day and for being Drew Carry's boss for so many years, he does have a way to make things his own. Having been to his tapings a half dozen or so times, it's always a good time. So when he explains all this, I tend to listen.

And agree. We need to stop glorifying the youth. They're idiots who need to experience life more to get a better sense of what the fuck is happening in the world around them.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Cooking With Heisenberg

Cooking With Heisenberg 

For today's episode of Cooking with Heisenberg, we're showing you how to make Mayo... the Yeah! Science! method. Enjoy

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Walter White's Cure for Hank

Walter White's Cure for Hank

Now that Hank has a splitting headache, maybe Walter could get him some pain relief int he form of some headache medicine...

I mean, he's a real insurrerable asshole, so perhaps some Preparation H is needed.

Okay, a lame update, sure. I mean, these were bad puns in general, but still fun to make and it's interesting to see old commercials show up on youtube that have actors we have come to see completely different.

And as much as I hate Buzzfeed being linked everywhere, this little collection of pictures was well worth it.
Breaking Bad behind the scenes photos to laugh at. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Pop Music With a Vintage Feel

Pop Music With a Vintage Feel

Talk about a modern fun with a vintage feel. Here's these little diddy's that just hit the right mark.

The sad thing is that the simple swaying of the singer's hips in the video is vastly more sexy than whatever twerking that Miley actually did in the performance of this song at the MTV VMA with that tongue lashing bullshit.

Perhaps some Call Me Maybe?

And then there's a vintage version of Get Lucky...

Yeah, this is pretty cool all around.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Mexican Gungam Style

Mexican Gungam Style

Yeah, I realize Gangam Styles are as old and played out as your mom's vajin. BOOOM! Yeah, I went there. Nah. Just kidding. It may be something for last year, but I did find this one to be funny and figured I would spend one blog post sending it out to my homies in East Los.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Will You Finally Tell Us how You Met Our Mother?

Will You Finally Tell Us how You Met Our Mother?

The final season of How I Met Your Mother is upon us. So we finally, fucking FINALLY get to see how Ted meets the mother of his children. I didn't say his wife. Because let's be honest here. He's a fucking loser and I'm sure that he's just going to knock this broad up twice and she's going to run to the hills once she realizes how much he's a nut case.

Besides, his children could tell you in their own words how bad it has been these last little more than half decade.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Breaking Bad - Ozymandias

Breaking Bad - Ozymandias 

With only three episodes left after tonight, we come to this one. Ozymandias. What simply has to be one of the most hit you in the face episode possible. But after you hear Walter White give this little poem, it'll all make sense.

God damn, that episode.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Kickstarter? More Like Kick Bricks, Fool!

Kickstarter? More Like Kick Bricks, Fool! 

Kickstarter is a great place for folks who have small goals or little ideas to get some backing from the internet. But then there's the underside to all this and you see that not every moron who decides to beg for money on the internet is capable of being smart enough to get said cash.

Take Crooked Bottle for example. The idea of some local brewers who decided to create a local beer incubator that was licensed and locals could come in and try their hand at brewing their ideas.
This project takes the craft of home brewing and opens it up to the public.  This is a craft beer incubator, which gives amateur brewers a path to commercial success.  We will regularly collaborate with our best amateur brewers to bring new and exciting beers to market.

It had a set amount for their kickstarter to succeed at $25,600. Of that, they received $24,357. Which means that their funding was not successful and it failed by a simple $243. Which begs the question, how fucking retarded are these people?

Did no one in this group of ragtag morons have a credit card on hand or some friend to just lend them $243 to meet the goal? When you think about it, $243 is pennies when you're facing the potential of getting $25,600 in return. It's well worth it to just charge it on your card instead of letting all that money just get flushed down the toilet.

They clearly weren't smart enough to drop an initial investment and get the whole bucks and now they were so close to reaching their goal and now have nothing to show for it but a wasted month's worth of time and to be looked at as morons on the internet.

Maybe they could have chosen a realistic and obtainable goal. or maybe they just needed to work for the money, borrow a loan from the bank or find proper investors and generate a business plan to repay back that loan. This isn't some sad tragedy. The headline of this piece should really just read "Lucky fuckers almost got $25k for a bunch of useless trinkets and a pipe dream.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Hugh Laurie Loves Him Some New Orleans

Hugh Laurie Loves Him Some New Orleans

Watch this. Enjoy. That is all

I've only been there once in my adult life and I loved every second of it. Even the ones I can't really remember because of the copious amounts of alcohol.

Preach on, Doctor House.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

The Final Burn - On the Audience

The Final Burn - On the Audience 

For those of you who like happy sort of television shows on USA, stuff like that one doctor show or that one about a spy who was burned and has to do good deeds for the locals with a dash of A-Team, a pinch of Miami Vice as well that actress from Cagney and Lacy

It was a fun show at the beginning. Filled with all these sort of Fight Club lessons in how to make explosives... minus a sort of one or two components and instruction. But I hate to see how far this show has fallen.

The latest and last storyline we have going is that Michael is working for the CIA to make up for his crimes he pulled in killing a CIA agent and to make sure his friends stay out of jail with him by bringing down a huge terrorist organization.

The problem I have with this is that I don't feel like I've been given enough information to make up my mind that this terrorist group that Michael has infiltrated is even all that bad. You have the leader, James, and his second in command, Sonya, a love interest to throw in the way of Michael and Fi. Sure, there's the fact that James apparently left his friend to rot in a mental institution and straight up executed a guy for trying to pull out of a mission, plus the fact that he killed his whole squad way back when. But then there's his now "no man left behind" policy. Some good indication that he does have at least some noble intentions, and most recently, his self-sacrifice when he could have just shot Michael in the face. And then we still know almost nothing about Sonya's back story or motivations as far as I can tell.

The CIA also has been shown as nothing but just as bad, if not worse than the terrorist group. I basically consider their likeability to that of Jar Jar Binks. Michael has been shown to side with James, if not in missions, at least in terms of end goals. In another better written show that wasn't for USA, I would think that this was a clever subversion and that I'm meant to be checking the dark corners of my own heart. Instead, I'm thinking this show just thinks that I actually give a shit about Fiona or any one else on Michael's team that isn't Bruce Campbell's chin, to actually be anti-James at this point.

Let me give you the blunt news, USA. We don't care about Fiona. Like, at all. I wish her to be dead, actually. From the moment she stepped on the show with that god awful accent. To the choices she has made from flipping around on her stance of hurting innocent people, especially odd since she comes from an IRA background. 

I'm in the stance that Mike would make a good super spy leader because we know he's very loathe to use collateral damage, unlike the TV version of the CIA that we keep seeing in this show. Then again, let's be honest- that's what the real CIA would do as well. But I feel like Michael's spy ring would be the most moral of the intelligence agencies in the whole world. Who's been shown to be better when it comes to doing right by those who have been wronged and looking out for the little people out there? 

It's gotten to the point that I'm watching this just for some sort of closure. That after god knows how many half seasons or summer/fall/winter breaks, that we'll finally get some resolution for the spy who got burned by those who he trusted the most, and how he's pretty much shitting any relationships he had now that he's going to the side that was always obviously meant for him.

I basically loved how Fiona was so against the CIA since the beginning of the show because of what they did to Michael and how they operate, then she suddenly ups and puts herself in a position to be killed so that Michael sticks to the mission the CIA gave him.

"Oh yea Fi by the way, I'm turning James in today. They want me to run their network after he's in jail, I guess I can figure it out later. Either way you guys are off the hook and the CIA is happy."

Seriously Burn Notice? I feel like they're not trying since it's the last few episodes. Either way, it's been a good first couple of seasons, and then rest have been dragged out "who burned michael... oh, that other guy, I guess, follow him next season"

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

9/11 Closing Thoughts

9/11 Closing Thoughts

Every year I'm surprised with it already being September 11th. I mean, it feels like it always sneaks up on me. Especially that first one, after all. But then again, I have to wonder, how the fuck long until we don't have to work on 9/11? It's twelve years later and I still have to work today? That is god damn bullshit, I tell you.

Clearly Osama truly did win.

But then again, if we do finally make it a national holiday, what will the theme be? I mean, it's September and that means the weather is perfect, but we just had labor day, so Barbecuing seems a bit too repetitive. But it does seem that if you want no one to forget about the events of this tragic day, then you're going to have to teach them about it. We have kids that are leaving their teenage years who have no fucking memory of what exactly happened on September 11th because they were too young to remember it.

Hell, I dated people who were far too young to have a memory about what happened on this day. Perhaps we could just do like The Sarah Conner Chronicles and teach them the good ol' fashion way.

Come on gang bangers in that show, that's not funny. My grandpa died on 9/11. He fell out of a guard towe-  wait, hold on. that's the wrong tragedy joke. My bad. Clearly this isn't something that we could mock as it's completely seriou....

Well shit. Okay, I know my post about this tragic day are offensive, but what should really be taken offense about 9/11 is the fact that this led to an illegal war that has ripped the loins from our economy and killed countless innocent civilians. Which should be reason enough to never celebrate this day even in jest. Besides, it's arguable whether the victims in the towers were in fact patriots, I'm sure some of them actively hated America. We just found out a few years ago how corrupt and evil financial folks can really be, after all. 

 But it's pretty common knowledge that the one thing that happened on 9/11 is that the terrorist won. Don't believe me

I digress. Let's take a moment to just... well, look at the lighter side of things again.

Besides, why be so glum on 9/11 when there's free muffins to be had!

I want to recite the pledge of allegiance in front of those mini muffins.

Now that's not really offensive. Someone wanted to give you free shit on 9/11, right. The real tragedy is that it only last a half hour. Never forget your check out time! And it can't be 9/11 if I don't post this insanely offensive video somewhere, right?

At least it's not as offensive as this AMV

As for my all time favorite... and most tragic.

You see, his love died on 9/11. How sad.

Or you could kill a bit of two hours on this little documentary if you have your tin foil hat on.

I mean, it's not like Vince Gilligan didn't see it coming with his Lone Gunmen. Which, if you don't remember that show, I don't blame you considering it lasted all of less than a season, but I did find it funny that it all went down on the first episode of The Lone Gunmen literally a few months before the events occurred.
The pilot episode depicted a plane being flown into the New York World Trade Center; it originally aired six months before 9/11. Foreshadowing a number of conspiracy theories which would arise in the wake of the September 11, 2001 attacks, the plot of the March 4, 2001 episode depicts a secret faction within the US government plotting to hijack a Boeing 727 and fly it into the World Trade Center by remote control. The stated motive was to increase the military defense budget by blaming the attack on foreign interests. In the episode, the plot is foiled by the protagonists, who board the doomed plane and deactivate the malicious autopilot system just seconds before the plane would have reached the World Trade Center.[3]

I'm not one to put on a tin foil hat, but that shit seems to be pretty damn interesting of an incident.. coincidence.

What Am I Forgetting Again?

What Am I Forgetting Again?

I'm pretty sure that the most common question you'll be asked today is where you were 12 years ago when the terrible tragedy of 9/11 happened. It's best to realize that this question isn't asked of you to actually get an answer, much like how any other question typically works. No, this question is actually just an attempt to be polite in stomping you with the useless information on where the one asking this question actually was on that morning.

You really don't care, at least no sane person would. At this point it has been 12 years now. There's people in their twenties who don't actually have a good memory of the day as they were in too fucking young to actually remember anything that happened that day. I should know, I dated a few folks who were far too young to have an actual memory of what happened that day.

More than anything else, today is a day to try to sell you on useless patriotism shit by invoking 9/11 in order to sell you crap you don't need. Don't believe me? How about all these;

Who wants some 9/11 $20's, yo!

It's not like this is something new, it was a cash grab from the get go by those big businesses looking to get those fat government contracts. It was only a matter of time before your local country club got in on the action. I mean, who needs to do a day of solitude and reflection when you can get in a round or two of golf to take your mind off of things?

Yeah, it's not like that's the only deal in town today.

Though, sadly, only the second one is fake. The first one, that's an honest to goodness ad. Go figure. It's just funny that we all sort of gathered together to throw our patriotism into this day, a day that had comic book villains crying because of the horror.

Even though half of those villains have attempted to, if not, done far worse with their own, in character actions. Hell, The Juggernaunt himself knocked over one of the world trade center buildings in an X-force/Spiderman cross over in the 90's.

I'm also a bit tired of people telling me to remember 9/11. Should I constantly remember the day that being an American stopped meaning the same thing it meant the day before? Because from what I could tell, the only thing we really got out of the whole 9/11 situation was that Americans lost that very thing that we claim the terrorist hated about us. Our freedom.

After the attacks we had so much panic that we gave away all our rights in exchange for a false sense of safety that really should be reexamined. Because in many senses, the terrorist won. We lost our ability to live without fear. I'm not saying to just completely ignore it, but I am saying that we should have made an effort to show them that we aren't going to live in fear. Most of all, we aren't going to let the same government who propelled us into this direction of having others hate us be the cause as to why we no longer have the ability to do the things that we once thought we could. To allow ourselves to let our constitutional rights get taken away from us and essentially get bent over and have our rights fucked with. 

So yeah, don't you worry, I won't forget 9/11. It's the day we started to become the thing we never wanted to become.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Skyler White - Cunt

Skyler White - Cunt

Anna Gunn, the actress who plays the much hated by the internet Skyler White did a little piece about her character to the New York Times. But since the New York Times is notorious for eventually taking their content off the web's free site ability, here's a digital re-copy of it for your reading, because I strongly feel this is a very important read;

I Have Character Issues 
PLAYING Skyler White on the television show “Breaking Bad” for the past five seasons has been one of the most rewarding creative journeys I’ve embarked on as an actor. But the role has also taken me on another kind of journey — one I never would have imagined.

My character, to judge from the popularity of Web sites and Facebook pages devoted to hating her, has become a flash point for many people’s feelings about strong, nonsubmissive, ill-treated women. As the hatred of Skyler blurred into loathing for me as a person, I saw glimpses of an anger that, at first, simply bewildered me.
For those unfamiliar with the show: Skyler is the wife of Walter White, a high-school chemistry teacher who, after learning he has lung cancer, begins cooking and selling methamphetamine to leave a nest egg for Skyler, their teenage son and their unborn daughter. After his prognosis improves, however, Walter continues in the drug trade — with considerable success — descending deeper and deeper into a life of crime.
When Skyler discovers what Walter has been up to, she tries to stop him, to no avail. She is outraged by the violence and destruction of the drug world, fearful for her children’s safety, disgusted by the money Walter brings in and undone by the lies and manipulation to which he subjects her.
Because Walter is the show’s protagonist, there is a natural tendency to empathize with and root for him, despite his moral failings. (That viewers can identify with this antihero is also a testament to how deftly his character is written and acted.) As the one character who consistently opposes Walter and calls him on his lies, Skyler is, in a sense, his antagonist. So from the beginning, I was aware that she might not be the show’s most popular character.
But I was unprepared for the vitriolic response she inspired. Thousands of people have “liked” the Facebook page “I Hate Skyler White.” Tens of thousands have “liked” a similar Facebook page with a name that cannot be printed here. When people started telling me about the “hate boards” for Skyler on the Web site for AMC, the network that broadcasts the show, I knew it was probably best not to look, but I wanted to understand what was happening.
A typical online post complained that Skyler was a “shrieking, hypocritical harpy” and didn’t “deserve the great life she has.”
“I have never hated a TV-show character as much as I hate her,” one poster wrote. The consensus among the haters was clear: Skyler was a ball-and-chain, a drag, a shrew, an “annoying bitch wife.”
I enjoy taking on complex, difficult characters and have always striven to capture the truth of those people, whether or not it’s popular. Vince Gilligan, the creator of “Breaking Bad,” wanted Skyler to be a woman with a backbone of steel who would stand up to whatever came her way, who wouldn’t just collapse in the corner or wring her hands in despair. He and the show’s writers made Skyler multilayered and, in her own way, morally compromised. But at the end of the day, she hasn’t been judged by the same set of standards as Walter.
As an actress, I realize that viewers are entitled to have whatever feelings they want about the characters they watch. But as a human being, I’m concerned that so many people react to Skyler with such venom. Could it be that they can’t stand a woman who won’t suffer silently or “stand by her man”? That they despise her because she won’t back down or give up? Or because she is, in fact, Walter’s equal?
It’s notable that viewers have expressed similar feelings about other complex TV wives — Carmela Soprano of “The Sopranos,” Betty Draper of “Mad Men.” Male characters don’t seem to inspire this kind of public venting and vitriol.
At some point on the message boards, the character of Skyler seemed to drop out of the conversation, and people transferred their negative feelings directly to me. The already harsh online comments became outright personal attacks. One such post read: “Could somebody tell me where I can find Anna Gunn so I can kill her?” Besides being frightened (and taking steps to ensure my safety), I was also astonished: how had disliking a character spiraled into homicidal rage at the actress playing her?
But I finally realized that most people’s hatred of Skyler had little to do with me and a lot to do with their own perception of women and wives. Because Skyler didn’t conform to a comfortable ideal of the archetypical female, she had become a kind of Rorschach test for society, a measure of our attitudes toward gender.
I can’t say that I have enjoyed being the center of the storm of Skyler hate. But in the end, I’m glad that this discussion has happened, that it has taken place in public and that it has illuminated some of the dark and murky corners that we often ignore or pretend aren’t still there in our everyday lives.
Anna Gunn is an actress.
Kinda makes you think. Besides that, it's really pretty telling about all of this that we treat a female character who is obviously written as a conflicted character in such a manner that we call her a cunt. I just really don't get the Skyler hate. The biggest mistake was not going straight to the police when she found out Walt was a druge dealer, but other than that, her actions have been pretty reasonable for a house wife who still loves her dying husband.

On the other hand, Walt is so well acted because all I can do is hate on his small ego and arrogance. Why couldn't he just accept his friends' kindness. Why not be nice to your fantastic wife or at least be honest with your family and yourself and go in instead of trying to be half a school teacher and half a capitalist.

Still, this hate for Skyler is silly. She has made the best of the situation and has stood by her man when she really probably shouldn't have. But that's a topic for another day.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Breaking Music Selections

Breaking Music Selections

From the pilot you have the first montage music that the boys cooked along to in some Working for a nuclear free city. Funny considering the name Walt would later pick up for his badass self.

And then it continued that the montages were just fucking awesome.

Again, one of the reasons those montages worked so well was because of the music choices.

It's also odd how once the cook started happening with out Jesse, the montages got a little different in tone.

Still, they got pretty crazy

This one was sort of NOT a cook montage, but at the same time it was. Jesse was out with Mike getting the money drops and Walter was in the super lab getting his cook on and it's just simply amazing in every way on how that montage worked.

One of my favorite montage cook scenes was from season 5A when they first got the Vamanos Amigos cook set up going. It was such a good montage

But then, how could you forget what probably is going to be Walt's final cook montage on the show from season 5A's 8th episode where he's building his empire.

There really couldn't be a more well placed song to montage of what is happening on the screen as that one. It's just so perfect. 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Garden of your Mind

The Garden of your Mind

Now here's a no content post that will be filled with nostalgia. At least if you remember my childhood...

Board Walking The Empire

Board Walking The Empire

Boardwalk Empire starts up again today, figured I would just throw this out there as it is one of my favorite shows and does take HBO back to the land of good scripted show.

Ah, Mash ups. How did the world live without them for so long?

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Boobs; A PSA

Boobs; A PSA

Hey, who needs respect for women when you can just stare at a good pair of cans. Yeah, that's right. I called them cans. Fun Bags. Melons. Apparently gals want them to be stared at and given attention when they're put out on display.

At least according to this;

Okay, I chuckled a little. But yeah, there's a whole industry involved with the pushing and supporting of making your boobs look two sizes bigger than what they actually are. So hey, big breast is big business apparently.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Simon Peg and Nick Frost Get Lucky

Simon Peg and Nick Frost Get Lucky

Oh Daft Punk, what don't you go good with? How about these two chaps?

Thursday, September 5, 2013

White Man's Burden

White Man's Burden 

It's very simple. In order to understand white supremacy, we must first dismiss the fallacious notion that white people can give anybody his freedom. A man is born free. You may enslave a man after he is born free, and that is in fact what this country does. It enslaves blacks after they're born. The only thing white people can do is stop denying black people their freedom.

Here's this speech which I'd really recommend you watching the whole god damn thing. Like, right now. 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Release the Minions

Release the Minions

Oh How I love the minions.

But can they please learn to speak the language! We're in America!

I mean, they can say Banana. I guess.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Google Glass Doesn't See Porn

Google Glass Doesn't See Porn

Back in the 80's when VHS and Betamax were battling it out in terms of who will be the one format the wins out... till, you know, something like DVD came out and destroyed VHS, there was actually a critical moment as to when Betamax, the format that oddly enough was superior over VHS in terms of quality of the film. But there was a moment when Betamax lost. And that was when it came to porn.... besides longer record time and all.

Before the home cassette days, you didn't really have much option when it came to watching a movie at home. likewise, when you wanted to see porn, you had to go to a movie theater and watch it with many others. Oddly enough this is what got Pee Wee Herman in trouble. In any event, with the invention of the Home Video, it meant you could keep the privacy of your home in tact.

And while Beta was the far superior quality, the lack of porn that porn producers jumped on VHS's wagon early is one key factor. The lesson there is don't turn your back on porn or it may fuck you.

Now a new format in technological advancements approaches with that damn Google Glasses, a method that you no longer have to look down at your smart phone to show friends that you're not interested in what they are talking to you about. But there's one issue here... Google says no to porn.
On Monday morning, the first porn app for Google Glass was announced. Unfortunately, the app violated the most recent additions to Google's developer policies for the futuristic eyewear, which ban sexually explicit material.
The pornographic app for Glass was released by MiKandi, an adult app store that has a successful Android app store for adult apps. Using the application, Google Glass wearers could look at photos and watch videos filmed using Google Glass. The company wanted to expand from first-person point of view videos to one-on-one interactions between adults who both have Glass.
Now it seems that business plan will need to be altered.
Google added a new section to its developer policies for Google Glass late last week that prohibits apps from delivering sexually explicit content.

"Our policies make it clear that Glass does not allow Glassware content that contains nudity, graphic sex acts, or sexually explicit material. Any Glassware that violates this policy will be blocked from appearing on Glass," a Google spokesperson said. The same section promises harsh penalties for any app featuring child pornography. Google also bans gratuitous violence, hate speech and gambling on Glass.

It's rather odd. One of the main searches that probably turned Google into what Google is today had to be porn. Now Google is turning its back on something that made it what it is today. Go figure. If anything, you'd think that Google Glass and porn would go hand in hand. Something about having your hands free when it comes to porn seems like it's a perfect fit. Why you messing with the program, Google?!

I suppose it is a good thing. It's annoying enough to have folks talk on the phone while you're in line at the market or waiting for a film to start. Just imagine how disturbing it would be to have someone seeing some porn in front of you as they not pay attention to what is going on in life.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Welcome To The World of Not Knowing How To BBQ

Welcome To The World of Not Knowing How To BBQ

This seems fitting given the national holiday we're having today in which we pretty much have to celebrate... okay, maybe it's more mourn the death of Summer by throwing a good ol' fashion BBQ throw down. But it seems that these two jerk-offs over at the New York Times decided to troll the BBQ community by suggesting that marinades are a thing of the past.
Marinating, it’s said, not only adds flavor and moisture that will stay with the food through the rigors of the grilling process, but also tenderizes whatever you’re about to put over the coals.
There’s only one problem with this comforting culinary scenario: as we’ve learned over 20-plus years of grilling, it’s mostly just not true.
Let’s take the supposed advantages of marinades one by one.
First, the idea that it tenderizes your food. While it’s true that acids in marinades have somewhat of a tenderizing effect on proteins, it is limited to the proteins with which they come into contact. As you will see if you cut open a piece of chicken or steak that’s been sitting for a couple of hours or even overnight in a marinade, the liquid penetrates hardly at all. This means that only the outer surface of the food is affected. And even this isn’t that helpful, because in our experience what actually happens is that the surface just gets slightly mushy — not a desirable effect.
Second, marinades deliver relatively subdued flavors, which is not what you’re going for in grilling.
Even when marinades include powerful flavor-carriers such as spices, they are diluted by the liquid in which they swim. Think how this differs from simply coating whatever you’re about to grill with a spice rub. Since rubs consist of pretty much nothing but spices and are applied directly to the food, you get the full effect of their deep flavors, further intensified by their interaction with the heat of the fire.
As long as you hold back on the salt, you can slather on these rubs as thickly as you like. And because they are solid rather than liquid, they stick to the food better. Liquid on a damp piece of meat just doesn’t compete.
But there’s more to it than that. In addition to being diluted, the flavors in a marinade are melded, blended together. For other kinds of cooking, more subtle cooking, that may be considered a virtue. What starts out as a collection of simple individual flavors ends up as a more rounded, fuller and complex single flavor.

I take offense to this whole article. I mean, it starts off with this picture of ribs just getting thrown on the flaming red hot grill. How the fuck do you think that's going to cook properly, marinade or not, on that sort of setting. Yes, they do say in the article to put them on medium heat. But that's fucking stupid in itself as well.

Everyone who is anyone or knows anything about how muscles and tendons work in meat realizes that you should put those ribs in a smoker or indirect heat at all possible times and slowly work it. Again, if you marinaded it or not, this is a very simple truth unless you want burned and tough ribs that no amount of BBQ sauce could every cover up.

I get it, it's a movement that pushes for meat to be a bit more simple than it needs to be. But to this article I say that for those who take the extra steps and treat their meat right in putting it in brine or rubbing some seasonings on it, you'll get rewarded ten fold with the finished product. Just because you don't have to put something on the meat before you cook it doesn't make it better without it on. 

All that I'm saying is that on this Labor day weekend, your ass better be behind a grill and it better be with meat that was marinated or had some sort of rub on it. You don't want to go bareback on your meat, man. You just don't want to do that regardless what these fucks say.

And with this posting, I should be back from a trip to New Mexico. I mean, to be honest besides Breaking Bad, the only thing I knew about Albequerque was that Bugs Bunny often missed a turn there. And while I was a couple hundred miles shy of Texas BBQ, where they would flog the shit out of this New York journalist for his stance against rubs, I did have some tasty fucking Chili.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Breaking Matlock And Other Such Silliness with Breaking Bad

Breaking Matlock And Other Such Silliness with Breaking Bad

Here's some random videos while I make my own Breaking Bad Pilgrimage this weekend. I'll have a full update on all that with some amazingly awesome pictures in the near future. But because I'm out of town right now, these will have to do for the time being...

These were also going around after last week's episode aired. All of which are fucking fantastic