Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Day Without Footwear

A Day Without Footwear

I've been too busy wallowing in my own self pity of getting older lately that I haven't noticed other socially needed events. Namely the Day Without Shoes cause on April 5th.
Millions of children grow up without shoes and at risk of infection and disease. One Day Without Shoes is the day we take off our shoes to raise awareness of the impact a pair of shoes can have on a child's life.

Join us!


Visit for more info.


54,148 Attending

Well then, I'm glad that went the way it went. We can cross a problem off the list. That problem.... is solved! NEXT!

I'm pretty sure that for the vast majority of people a day without their Nike's would not be something they would like. No sir, I don't think so.

Besides, with the unemployment numbers in the high digits that they are, I'm pretty sure that a lot of people are surviving going bare footed trampling on the face of capitalism as it is.

You want to know what a cool thing to do is? Try walking around barefooted on a really cold day. It's really cool. Get it? But seriously, want to raise awareness of the impact of a pair of shoes can have? How about getting kicked in your ass some time. That will tell you how important a pair of shoes is.

I do have to wonder if this whole barefoot thing is a suppose to be some sort of health claim/concern. Or is it just an act of relatively harmless counterculture subversion? Oh no, those poor African kids don't have an Iphone?!! How would you like to live a day without your social media outlets and internet access in your finger tips!?!?

Friday, April 29, 2011

Whatever Happened To The American Of Tomorrow? Superman Defects

Whatever Happened To The American Of Tomorrow? Superman Defects

So in a rather silly short story in the back of a superman issue, the man of steal has renounced his American citizenship and all the news outlets are running with the story
After recently undertaking a journey to walk -- not fly -- across the United States in the "Grounded" storyline and reconnect with the country and everyday Americans, Superman appears to be taking another step that could have major implications for his national identity: in Action Comics #900...

...Superman announces that he is going to give up his U.S. citizenship. Despite very literally being an alien immigrant, Superman has long been seen as a patriotic symbol of "truth, justice, and the American way," from his embrace of traditional American ideals to the iconic red and blue of his costume. What it means to stand for the "American way" is an increasingly complicated thing, however, both in the real world and in superhero comics, whose storylines have increasingly seemed to mirror current events and deal with moral and political complexities rather than simple black and white morality.

The key scene takes place in "The Incident," a short story in Action Comics #900 written by David S. Goyer with art by Miguel Sepulveda. In it, Superman consults with the President's national security advisor, who is incensed that Superman appeared in Tehran to non-violently support the protesters demonstrating against the Iranian regime, no doubt an analogue for the recent real-life protests in the Middle East. However, since Superman is viewed as an American icon in the DC Universe as well as our own, the Iranian government has construed his actions as the will of the American President, and indeed, an act of war.

Superman replies that it was foolish to think that his actions would not reflect politically on the American government, and that he therefore plans to renounce his American citizenship at the United Nations the next day -- and to continue working as a superhero from a more global than national perspective. From a "realistic" standpoint it makes sense; it would indeed be impossible for a nigh-omnipotent being ideologically aligned with America to intercede against injustice beyond American borders without creating enormous political fallout for the U.S. government.

While this wouldn't be this first time a profoundly American comic book icon disassociated himself from his national identity -- remember when Captain America became Nomad? -- this could be a very significant turning point for Superman if its implications carry over into other storylines. Indeed, simply saying that "truth, justice and the American way [is] not enough anymore" is a pretty startling statement from the one man who has always represented those values the most.

It doesn't seem that he's abandoning those values, however, only trying to implement them on a larger scale and divorce himself from the political complexities of nationalism. Superman also says that he believes he has been thinking "too small," that the world is "too connected" for him to limit himself with a purely national identity. As an alien born on another planet, after all, he "can't help but see the bigger picture."

Do you think the shift to a more global role makes sense for Superman? If he really is going to renounce his U.S. citizenship in order to function as a more international figure, how do you think it will affect the character?
Even though I'm a comic reader, I'm self aware in realizing that all superhero comics are basically right-wing wet dreams come true in which they promote the notion that "Crime" can be solved by beating up on poor people and leaving them tied up for the police.

I mean, what sort of jury would convict someone off the word of a vigilante? Talk about getting screwed over by the American penal system. So.. um. yeah. I don't really know where I was going with this rant...

But this has been a long time coming. If we can get on Obama for being president without proof of his citizenship, how has it taken 70 years for us to question Superman and ask him where his birth certificate is. Where's the birth certificate, man of steel? HUH?!

Is superman naturalized? His documents got blown up on Krypton and I don't think that the Kent's ever got him any certs of live birth in Kansas. Have you ever thought about that? It's a bit weird when you consider it. How would he have a social security or anything? Does Superman and Clark Kent have different socials? They couldn't possibly share the same one.

And what's with the sudden crisis of conscience? The dude has been a news reporter his whole adult life and yet he has had no qualms in being the news he's reporting on or being the center of attention when it comes to the pieces he would write about. It's all so confusing.

What's his deal with taking the fight on a more global level? I mean, just look at any monthly comic book he is in and you'll see him fly into space and instead of answering the call to all the screams and cries of the global south, he'll fly back to Metropolis to stop some black purse snatcher before going into a phone book to change for his date with Lois.

Why the fuck is superman meeting the national security adviser in a foggy forest? Shouldn't that be a conversation that should be held in a conference room or at least some place without a creepy vibe to it?

On the flip side, Marvel is doing a suicide prevention book using Captain America.

Just a reminder, Alien humanoids from a different solar system might have such different biology that our sun gives them super powers, but they will still be white and male. If superman had been raised in anywhere but the US, he would have probably annihilated the United States for its dangerous threats to the survival of the species in the name of imperial domination.

And I'm not even going to go into Superman: Red Son. Because while that was a great story, it still has the flaw that socialist utopia is brought down with a simple note with "Why don't you put the whole world in a bottle."

Such a terrible flaw to an otherwise good story. But hey, that's just how I roll. When kids fight about if Superman or Batman could win in a fight, I usually bust out the other, bigger and better debate. That is if Green Arrow's socialism is better than the Question's objectivity. Now that's a real tough one.

I'm happy that I don't have super powers. If I had x-ray vision I'm pretty sure I would just give up on being a good person and just go crazy invading everyone's privacy. Much like Obama.

But the biggest problem with this short story turned into major slow-news-day/alternative to royal wedding news piece is that it's not really sound.

Superman, for all intent and purpose, isn't a U.S. citizen. For all the world knows about the man of steal is that he is always superman and has no secret identity. He doesn't live in the U.S. He calls home his Fortress of Solitude in the frozen north.

He just seems to hang out in Metropolis a lot because he has the hots for Lois Lane. If DC was going to do a full story on this arc, that would be it. It's not like Clark Kent would be renouncing his citizenship.

For the sake of the U.N's concern, Superman would default to the silver age idea that superman is a citizen of ever nation in the U.N. This works because it actually goes along with Superman being a hero to one and all.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Yesterday's Supreme Court Ruling Was Brought to You By The Kind Folks At AT&T, Sony, Walmart And The Letters F U

Yesterday's Supreme Court Ruling Was Brought to You By The Kind Folks At AT&T, Sony, Walmart And The Letters F U

While this story may have been buried over the countless headlines on Barry's birth certificates as well as Donald Trump's smug reaction to it. Oh yeah, and if that wasn't enough the stupid Royal Wedding that has no effect on local issues.

But yeah, yesterday the supreme court basically bent your consumer rights over and fucked them hard.
WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court gave corporations a major win Wednesday, ruling in a 5-4 decision that companies can block their disgruntled customers from joining together in a class-action lawsuit. The ruling arose from a California lawsuit involving cellphones, but it will have a nationwide impact.

In the past, consumers who bought a product or a service had been free to join a class-action lawsuit if they were dissatisfied or felt they had been cheated. By combining these small claims, they could bring a major lawsuit against a corporation.

But in Wednesday's decision, the high court said that under the Federal Arbitration Act companies can force these disgruntled customers to arbitrate their complaints individually, not as part of a group. Consumer-rights advocates said this rule would spell the end for small claims involving products or services.

In the case before the court, a Southern California couple complained about a $30 charge involving their purchase of cellphone service from AT&T Mobility. The California courts said they were entitled to join with others in bringing a class-action claim against the cellphone company.

But the Supreme Court reversed that decision Wednesday in AT&T Mobility vs. Concepcion. Justice Antonin Scalia said companies may require buyers to sign arbitration agreements, and those agreements may preclude class-action claims. Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. and Justices Anthony Kennedy, Clarence Thomas and Samuel A. Alito Jr. formed the majority.

Scalia said companies like arbitration because it is efficient and less costly. "Arbitration is poorly suited to the higher stakes of class litigation," he said.

But the dissenters said a practical ban on class action would be unfair to cheated consumers. Justice Stephen G. Breyer said the California courts had insisted on permitting class-action claims, despite arbitration clauses that forbade them. Otherwise, he said, it would allow a company to "insulate" itself "from liability for its own frauds by deliberately cheating large numbers of consumers out of individually small sums of money."

Breyer added that a ban on class actions would prevent lawyers from representing clients for small claims. "What rational lawyer would have signed on to represent the Concepcions in litigation for the possibility of fees stemming from a $30.22 claim?" he wrote. Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan joined his dissent.

The court itself divided along partisan lines. All five Republican appointes formed the majority, and four Democratic appointees dissented.

Still pending before the court is a major dispute over class-action suits involving job discrimination. Lawyers for Wal-Mart have asked the justices to throw out a sex-discrimination claim brought on behalf of 1.5 million current and past female employees.
I will never lose faith in American innovation in the field of finding a new and exciting way to be truly awful in every possible way imaginable.

All I have to say is GOOD! Now the only method of recourse for customers is to unleash countless amounts of violence upon these corporations.

What the fuck happened to this once great country? Or has it always carried this smell of awful corruption and I just didn't notice it? I guess it was that. I didn't really realize it with the whole "All men are created equal.... except for you darkies over there. "

It's pretty clear that we will never break the corporate stranglehold and when it does break itself, it will break all of us with it.

At this point it's not even worth fixing. Let's just run this shit into the mother fucking ground. There's no point complaining that the car is going too fast. We can't simply decelerate a little to catch our breath. No no, we're so close, no time for pussy footing around the issue. We need to slam our foot down on the gas pedal and just keep accelerating this mother fucker till we hit that break wall in all its glory.

Take a moment and notice how the picture accompanying the article prominently depicts the "Equal Justice Under Law" slogan on the supreme court building, as a sort of way to just rub it in.

So what can you expect to come out of this ruling? Well, you can expect to see yourself screwed over in very small amounts by every company you interact with. Oh, you want to recoup that bogus $4 fee? Guess you'll have to hire an attorney for that.. HA!

What the fuck was the supreme court thinking? Gee, I wonder what does the companies like? Let's give that to them then. Case closed! Did Scalia say anything else besides "Companies like arbitration, soooo...." like it explains everything about this situation. Is there any requirement that he pretend anymore?

Just wait till you're signing that otherwise vague contract when you're buying a car. Only to later have that gas tank explode on you or your children die because of defective seat belts. Better hope your attorney general brings up criminal charges because otherwise nothing is going to happen cause hey, you signed the contract already.

But hey, it's a good thing that product recalls are at an all time low now, right! right? RIGHT?! Fuuc... But hey, maybe this means that corporations will pass on their savings from class-action lawsuits to me, the consumer.... double fuck!

I mean, what's the point of a class-action lawsuits if not for precisely these reasons. But nope, gotta do what's best for the companies. Fuck the public.

I mean, I guess consumer protection is a fucking joke as it is to begin with, so this isn't like we have much to lose here on the grand scheme of things, but class action lawsuits were one of our last layers of defense against big corporations from completely fucking us over.

I do wonder if this includes cases where people are irrevocably harmed by a companies product or practices. Like if the events of PG&E vs Erin Brockovich happened today, would have they just told her to fuck off? Each person now has to hire a lawyer and prove their damages individually. Essentially making it impossible to get anything done. Especially if it goes to aberration, which typically favors the corporations 90% of the time.

And if you think they could just all hire the same lawyer and have him argue each case, it's still court fees for each application filed. So hey, it's a win-win for the courts! Though this wont work for the nickle and dime type of class action suits because it makes little sense to pay a lawyer for 15 minutes of work for your $30 claim.

I can't wait for them to claim that people can't sue corporations. That you would need to sue individual people on an individual basis. Only you can't because they're a corporation! So the only way to sue a company will be to incorporate yourself. Which brings me to my next point...

Who wants to join me and incorporate ourselves?

Now companies have no reason NOT to nickle and dime the public. Well, maybe except in the instances where they face public relations consequences. I mean, you could try and look at your bills real closely now, but then again, you probably won't have to check it closely at all. Now when they charge you an extra dollar for some stupid fee, there's nothing you can do about it. So you shouldn't bother checking and just assume it's already happening. You're never going to get any of that money back. So I just suggest you just don't look so you can have some bliss in the ignorance that they're stealing from you. Thanks again, Scotus!

Then there's the sad reminder that the most liberal politician America can manage to elect is Dennis Kucinich and he makes Eisenhower look like angels.

The worse thing is that it hasn't even been a full day and already you see this rulings handy work in action. Just check out the Uverse from AT&T where the changes are in red.
Ha ha ha ha, oh man, if I didn't laugh, I would probably be crying because of all this. They didn't even waste a second to get on with the ass raping of your wallet.
You would think that they'd wait a week to be a little less transparent about it. Or hey, to at least not be complete dicks about it. The irony of all this is that there was an episode of South Park last night where the premise was about people not reading the fine print to what they agree with in those tiny worded user fine print agreements.

The sad thing is that this decision really was overlooked because of the Obama birth certificate thing. Though I'm sure Jon Stewart will make a funny face about it, but that's pretty much where the general public's concern for it will end.

I'm pretty sure that in 100 years some CIA file will be declassified proving that the supreme court judges were in the service of the chamber of commerce or something. It's the only way any of this could possibly make any sense to anyone.

This really does make me want to look into having duo citizenship. Because leaving America sounds like a pretty sweet deal right about now. For what it's worth, when people say "get out while you still can" what they mean is to commit suicide while you can still legally buy a gun.

Because for as much as those NRA members huff and puff about gun ownership rights, you know that's not going to last.

Well, I guess it looks like I'm taking all my class action cases against big business to Judge Judy. She's tough, but unlike the scotus, she'll be fair.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

BP Fucks You Once Again

BP Fucks You Once Again

Hey, April's coming to a close, but I thought it would be nice to tell you that even though you just paid for your taxes not more than a few weeks ago, BP also filed for their taxes.. Only BP Got Thirteen Billion (With A B) Dollars In Tax Breaks For Losses

Under U.S. corporate law, companies can take credits on up to 35 percent of their losses. In this case, that means U.S. taxpayers are indirectly subsidizing at least part of cost for the cleanup and the $20 billion fund BP created to compensate people, fisherman and businesses along the Gulf Coast hurt by the spill.
Yup. BP just did that. So you're pretty much paying for that oil spill that a year ago still has lasting effects on the environment. Maybe it's just that I'm jealous that my respective industry doesn't make the laws.

But this makes you wonder what is BP's limits? I wonder if they would shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Though they basically did this with eleven more on an oil rig. Then they dumped a ton of oil into the Gulf Coast poisoning a few hundred to see what would happen.

The answer - They get a 13 billion dollar tax rebate. Shove that in your plugged up oil filled dolphin hole, I say! Cause hey, this is all legal.

Yes, you live in the America that this is all entirely legal, and not only that, you will take it.

Fuck this world.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Porn Creates A Burning Sensation

Porn Creates A Burning Sensation

I guess you should be thankful that the internet is around and you can jack off in the comfort of your own home. At least that way you don't run the risk of bursting into flames in a porn shop...
Man bursts into flames in San Francisco porn shop

A MAN caught fire Wednesday evening inside a San Francisco porn store and was fighting for his life in the hospital after suffering third-degree burns, KCBS-TV reported.

Arson experts said it was not clear what ignited the fire but police said the man had been watching videos in a private booth when the blaze erupted.

The man ran out the front door of the adult arcade "engulfed in flames" and was spotted by police standing across the street, a police spokesman told KCBS.

"He came out of the building already on fire," Lt. Kevin McNaughton said.

Firefighters, who luckily were only about a block away on an unrelated call, raced to the scene and doused the flames.
I know my mother always told me I would go blind if I kept doing that, but I never expected someone to become a flamer by doing it. I guess that's what happens when you rub it too hard.

Personally, I can't wait till This American Life covers this. Ira talking in a monotone manner about some S.F. dude jerking it till he catches on fire... it would be pure comedy. Then again, porn addiction is no laughing matter.

I'm sure the sick ones among us are asking if there was any footage of the event? Why yes, there was. Though it comes in the form of an old Spike Jones music video..

Maybe it was just another unexplainable case of spontaneous combustion. Or maybe it was god sending a message. Maybe lighting himself on fire as he reached orgasm was just his thing. Who are you to judge?

Then again, it was probably a simple matter of maybe you shouldn't smoke a crack pipe in a porn shop.

I could add something new to the list of things you should never do in a porn shop... freebase. I mean, freebasing at a porn shop has got to be the point in your life when you've hit rock bottom. Though I'm pretty sure that jerking off for hours on end after smoking meth has got to be some sort of new experience that I will never know the pure joys of.

Ted Haggard said:

I bought the drugs to enhance masturbation. Because what crystal meth does--Mike taught me this--crystal meth makes it so you don't ejaculate soon. So you can watch porn and masturbate for a long time.

Maybe this drug addict and the flamer at the porn store have some knowledge to share with all of us. Drusg may be the best way for a male to achieve something like a full-body orgasm. The kind that you really can't stop yourself from making a lot of noise when you're having.

For what its worth, I'm partially wondering if that's what a female orgasm is like every time they have one. And if so, I have to admit that I'm pretty fucking jealous of it.

And while we're on the subject of that sort of thing, I realized that it's a bit sad and unfair the way men are vilified for employing a fleshlight or a sort of real doll for use in masturbation when the sex experts laud and encourage such behavior in females. In many cases I'm pretty sure that said porn shop that the human torch ran out of probably had a shit ton of 12 inch black rubber dildos for just that very reason.

In any event, you probably shouldn't jerk off to the point that you're literally on fire.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Your iPhone Has Become Skynet

In the film the Terminators the online computer system Skynet became self-aware on April 19th, 2011. It then started a war with humans on April 21st starting the war of the machines.

Seems like pure science fiction, right? Well just look at what your iPhone is doing without you even knowing it.
While Apple Inc. has yet to comment on a new study that found its iPhones store data on users' locations, the company has previously revealed to lawmakers that it does collect such information.

Apple automatically transmits to itself location information about users of its smartphones, according to a letter the company sent to U.S. Reps. Edward Markey (D-Mass.) and Joe Barton (R-Texas) last year.

The letter, which is publicly available on Rep. Markey's website, became newsworthy this week in light of findings from two researchers who uncovered a file on iPhones that keeps a record of where the phone has been and when it was there. The file is unencrypted and stored by default

The discovery of this location file touched off a furor among iPhone owners who could see for the first time a trove of location data about themselves stored on their phones. The researchers, Alasdair Allan and Pete Warden, said they had no evidence that the file was being transmitted to Apple.

Kind of makes me glad I'm not an iPhone user. Wait, no. That's not true. I actually want to be one of those pretentious assholes who has a smart phone. You know the type, the ones that destroy any ability and skill that bar trivia once had.

But I can't. Well, I guess it's more that I don't want to. At least not right now that Verizon is still stuck on the 4G version. I'm waiting for that 5G to come out. Then I don't care who knows what boring activity or location I'm sitting in. I mean, I really don't give a shit about it. Oh no! Some survey place knows I'm at some restaurant.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Bringing Jobs Back To America

Bringing Jobs Back To America

And they said that jobs wouldn't come back to America. It's pretty clear that it's no longer a problem considering the L.A. times take on this.
Nathaniel Popper's doozy of a story in the Sunday Los Angeles Times detailing labor strife at Ikea's first American factory is getting a lot of attention in the blogosophere, and for good reason: It's chock full of globalization irony.

Ikea seems to be treating its American workers at a furniture plant in Danville, Virginia a good deal worse than it does its Swedish workers back at home. The workers are trying to unionize; in response Ikea has hired the famous union-busting-specializing law firm Jackson-Lewis. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary for American labor relations in the 21st century, but in Sweden, eyebrows are being raised.

The dust-up has garnered little attention in the U.S. But it's front-page news in Sweden, where much of the labor force is unionized and Ikea is a cherished institution. Per-Olaf Sjoo, the head of the Swedish union in Swedwood factories, said he was baffled by the friction in Danville. Ikea's code of conduct, known as IWAY, guarantees workers the right to organize and stipulates that all overtime be voluntary...

Laborers in Swedwood plants in Sweden produce bookcases and tables similar to those manufactured in Danville. The big difference is that the Europeans enjoy a minimum wage of about $19 an hour and a government-mandated five weeks of paid vacation. Full-time employees in Danville start at $8 an hour with 12 vacation days -- eight of them on dates determined by the company.

What's more, as many as one-third of the workers at the Danville plant have been drawn from local temporary-staffing agencies. These workers receive even lower wages and no benefits, employees said.

Swedwood's Steen said the company is reducing the number of temps, but she acknowledged the pay gap between factories in Europe and the U.S. "That is related to the standard of living and general conditions in the different countries," Steen said.

Of course that's exactly the same line you hear when American outsourcers are justifying the low wages paid to employees on the assembly line in China or Mexico or Vietnam. Turns out, the United States isn't "exceptional" at all. To keep up with the challenge of foreign competition, our plan is to crack down on our own working class until our sweatshops are just as oppressive as any other developing nation's.

Somehow, Sweden -- and other Northern European countries -- has managed to avoid heading down this same road. Must have something to do with the different "general conditions" that prevail there.
Yup, that's right. America welcomes becoming Europe's sweatshop. This is exactly what capitalists mean when they talk about "making American workers competitive on the global marketplace".

Danville is one of the poorest little shit holes in all of VA. They currently have the highest unemployment rate, so it may actually be pretty generous of Ikea to come in and lower the unemployment rate and maybe we should all stop complaining about it.

I have to admit that the L.A. times media published an actual good story here that could wake up at least some people to the reality of the nation we are living in. It'll give them some credit for actually coering the misery of low-wage labor in the U.S., the NYT would rather focus on the trails and travails of the upper middle class.

It's one of those things that you just know, but seeing it confirmed is just a bit strange. Though I guess they should just welcome such shitty hours and being told when to take vacation days, I mean, Ikea is like the biggest furniture store in town and you can even eat there for really cheap.

And with their salary and lack of benefits, they'll be taking advantage of that.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

How The CIA Went Green For Earth Day

How The CIA Went Green For Earth Day

With Earth Day happening yesterday, you're probably wondering what other people have done or have pushed for in a desperate attempt to save this doomed planet we're standing on. Well, you should rest easy knowing that the CIA really wants to believe that it is Earth friendly.
CIA Highlights Sustainability and Conservation Initiatives on Earth Day

The Central Intelligence Agency’s practice of shredding and burning classified papers—often referred to in movies and books as “burn after reading”—is one of several ways the CIA conserves energy, reduces its impact on the environment, and lowers costs through its sustainability efforts. Exhaust from the Agency’s on-site incinerator generates steam to heat water at CIA Headquarters. In addition to saving fuel, that process reduces the amount of waste—which would otherwise be destined for landfills—by nearly 1,000 tons per year. The CIA increases its recycling efforts each year, annually collecting over three tons of plastic, glass, cardboard, aluminum, construction debris, and other waste.

“As our nation marks Earth Day, Americans must find even more ways to promote energy conservation and preserve the environment. This is a moral responsibility,” said CIA Director Leon E. Panetta. “The Agency’s sustainability efforts also save taxpayer dollars.”

The CIA is proud that our most recently built facilities have received a Gold LEED rating from the U.S. Green Building Council and consume over 20 percent less energy and approximately 40 percent less water than typical buildings of the same size and use.

Energy-efficient lighting in interior spaces and the parking lot at CIA Headquarters reduces consumption and heat output from traditional lighting fixtures. The Agency is placing meters in many of its buildings to identify where future sustainability projects might drive greater cost savings.

The CIA is dedicated to doing even more. “We are committed to environmentally-responsible practices across the Agency, and are developing innovative programs to demonstrate our commitment while carrying out the CIA’s vital intelligence mission,” said Director for Support John Pereira.

The CIA’s conservation and sustainability initiatives are led by the Directorate of Support through its Green Council, which was created in 2009 to consolidate Agency existing sustainability efforts, advance energy and environmental initiatives, and to meet federal government sustainability goals set by President Obama in Executive Order 13514.

Posted: Apr 22, 2011 09:54 AM

I need to remind you... THIS IS REAL. I didn't edit the article. I didn't alter it. This is what they actually believe. This is how they sleep at night.

It's at times like this that I want to have no shame and be able to say anything with a straight face, it honestly seems like the best skill to have. Because if they're able to send this press release out with such a straight face, I wonder how they are able to walk with bowling balls between their legs.

This has to be what you would get when you ask someone to write a paper on how they are being ecologically friendly and they just can't think of anything they actually do. I'm sure they mean well... okay, it's the CIA, I'm pretty certain they mean the worse.

It really gets me that they actually said the phrase "This is a moral responsibility". How exactly can CIA director Leon E. Panetta say that? He does realize he's a CIA employee. I don't even understand the argument presented here. How is burning things environmentally conscious? I just don't get it.

I guess opposed to putting it in a landfill, burning the biodegradable product is better than recycling because [REDACTED]

I wonder if I burn documents in light of a pending indictment, as long as I reclaim the heat, I can get a gold rating from the U.S. Green building council. I'm sure that can help me out in the eyes of the court.

Maybe I'm not looking at this in the right light. This is just the first of many Green actions done by the CIA and our armed forces. You see, by reducing Iraq to a pile of ruble that could be mistaken for something straight out of the stone age, we have basically cut all their emissions from there by almost 100%

Though I guess their per capita emissions have stayed almost the same. There's just fewer capitas tho.

But what other activities could possibly be other attempts by the CIA to go green? Maybe those cocaine shipments help target the most destructive enemies of the environment - The Black American Families.

It's just all really sad. I mean, just think about how much of a lack of transparency our country has that we have 1,000 of tons of shredded documents a year. 1,000 of tons of state secrets that we will never see. The ugly dirty secrets.

We've barely declassified some 1800's disappearing ink hidden message decoding. I wonder how long after I'm dead will the truth of all the shit the CIA has done during my life time alone will be uncovered.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just The Earth Surface Warming Up?

Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just The Earth Surface Warming Up?

A while back at the Monterey Bay Aquarium people were asked to submit ideas about what they could do to stop global warming. This was a submission.

FUCK! Woah. I mean, seriously? There's someone who thinks like this out there in the world? You might as well kill your children, then yourself. Fuck my kids, I didn't get mine!

Judging by the handwriting, it also looks like he made his kid write it. So toss that into adding insult to injury.

Yeah, don't worry about the spelling for now. Just work on not gripping the pen in your first like you're stabbing the paper and hold it properly.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Bucking The Stars

Bucking The Stars

In honor of Earth Day Starbucks is doing a free coffee promotion. You basically bring in your mug and they'll fill you up with a cup of Joe. Wait, that didn't sound right. But you get what I'm saying.

They'll fill you cup. Which got me thinking, what is it about Starbucks that I don't like? I mean, it's a pretty bad store to begin with, even with the promise of free coffee. I can't be the only one to think so. For some reason like my own, Starbucks drove leftists to smash their windows during the anti-globalization protest.

So could it be the well-dressed shoppers who conspicuously consume their expensive products? How about something about the way they treat their coffee growers? Or is it because they are legally permitted to sell addictive substances, to children no less, while other dealers of other such substances are behind bars?

It's as if they are selling ideology with a nice little head of foam. They basically sell what amounts to adult soft drinks for $5 a pop while swirling a nice faux-culture around the whole practice. To me their coffee tastes too burnt.

I mean, free trade? Yeah. I guess that's one of the reasons why you could dislike them. The way they treat their coffee growers and misrepresent themselves as being fair trade when 90% of their beans are not. Starbucks is one of the major buyers of coffee beans, one of the worst commodities from a human rights standpoint, and has the market power to dictate fairer or more humane trade practices but chooses to be complicit to human rights abuse despite their healthy profits makes them a target for activist.

Not to mention that they're also pretty big on union busting and run down smaller coffee shops. But perhaps the most ironic thing is this embrace of Earth Day with free coffee when their hybrid oxymoron marketed consumerism-green living unique 'culture' is universally annoying regardless on how much you love their coffee. It's much easier and cheaper to buy caffeine via a 40oz 7-11 Big Gulp than it is to get it through coffee.

It really is a bit scary to think that there's people who drink Starbucks every day who end up spending something like $2,000 a year. If not in fact more because they toss in a tip for some unknown reason to subsidize the store owner's inability to pay a fair living wage and all the snack and other pastry bullshit they sell there.

Or perhaps you could try living life without a crippling addiction to a narcotic that constantly supports the oppression of the third world by capital. And don't give me that bull about free trade coffee. As much as we try to sugar coat it, there's not much point. And while I realize that just about everything supports the oppression of the third world by capital, it doesn't justify the fact that you're pushing for the sale of more beans. Maybe I just prefer my oppression old-style and that's why I drink tea more than coffee.

But if you are so inclined to get that dark addiction every day, you can just grind your own fair trade coffee every morning and then brew it in your french press. You'll be saving a good $2000 a year.

There's plenty of really good local roasters everywhere and they are almost always better than Starbucks trash coffee. If you're already enjoying bourgie lifestyle shit such as coffee as a recreational activity, you might as well get a real cup of good coffee in a cool place that actually serves good coffee.

What kind of moron thinks that Starbucks coffee is premium? I hate to sound like a snob, but the coffee Americans drink is all just basically melted ice cream anyway since their permanent child palates can't handle plain black coffee. Or maybe just a little bit of sugar and creme.

I'll gladly admit that I have been guilty of this very same action. Upon realizing that all I'm doing is just pouring mounds and mounds of sugar and milk into my coffee I realized that it was pointless to continue to drink coffee like that and for a long time just stopped.

Even over in the retail stores you're getting fucked on this one. Those Starbucks instant coffee things are around 7 bucks for 6 packets of it. So 6 cups of instant coffee for 7 dollars.. WHAT A BARGAIN!

And then you get the real bonus of instant coffee. You know that it taste like battery acid. Then there's those flavored instant coffees. They're good as masking the awful taste, but the chemicals used to make it taste like Pumpkin or some other strange flavor will eventually kill you.

Instant iced coffee has to be the laziest possible way to enjoy coffee as a beverage. You simply mix powder with room temperature water. Or you put ice cubes into some coffee. Though I guess I can't talk shit about that because I grew up drinking the room temperature coffee that my dad left sitting on the counter all day.

You can say that Starbucks is a strong representative of the combination of the act of consumption and absolution for that selfish act in one product that is so hot in the liberals democratic landscape. But hey, I love me some generic individualist liberal paradise, awwwww

It's also a little funny to listen to whatever Corinne Baliey Ray sounding shit they're promoting every month as if they're still in any way relevant. You're not cool anymore Starbucks. Get over it. But hey, if you're some bourgeois 20 something looking for a coffee shop to hang out with some comfy couches and some sort of music with tattooed Baristas and some books that go on the honor system, you could do a lot better than to choose Starbucks.

I'm still confused on how coffee is perfectly legal for kids to purchase when alcohol needs an age of 21 to buy over the counter. Sure, you can't get shit faced with coffee, but have you ever tried staying up with the use of coffee for a mid-term paper? The few times that I had, I could have sworn that my handwriting looked like nonsense scribbles. I seriously could have written better drunk.

And in case you were wondering, it takes 7-10 days to get rid of caffeine withdrawal symptoms if you are addicted. But then again, I'm sure many of you are wondering why you would want to withdraw from caffeine, you need that to get up and go. Even though you'll get as much, if not more energy from getting one more hour of sleep.

Or you could just go the complete opposite with it and hit up your local dealer for some cocaine. It does provide a much cleaner high than caffeine, even if you're paying like five times as much. But I guess you can't get drugs at your local corner store with full sanction of private enterprise and the State. No need to have to go to anyone's house and interact without the benefit of a defined and safe interaction script to follow. Many of you value this over the quality of the high any day.

To you I have this one simple suggestion in how to make your coffee super fucking strong:

How to make coffee super fucking strong
1. Brew a pot of coffee
2. Take the coffee and put it in the water reservoir of the coffee maker
3. Run it through again
4. Success. You have double the dose of coffee power

Instead of water you could use 5 hour energy to brew the first batch of coffee
Sprinkle some cocaine into it instead of sugar.

Oh yeah, the point of all this? I guess you could go to Starbucks and get some free cup of coffee today. Go forth and rape their insanely huge profit margins.. or the third world

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Forget The Weed, Let's Light Up A Cigar!

Forget The Weed, Let's Light Up A Cigar!

Yes, it's 4/20 and thus, on 4:20 on this day you probably will be inclined to light up a joint and smoke in honor to obituary time/days. To you I say.. how about a stoogie?

Come on, it's worth celebrating and lighting one up for Cuba's leader Fidel Castro just yesterday stepped down from his row after 50 years and countless assassination attempts.
Fidel Castro, 84, announced his resignation from leadership of the Cuba Communist Party today in an article published on

Along with the changing face of the Communist Party comes the easing of Cuba's property laws.

The BBC reports that for the first time since the 1959 Communist Revolution, Cubans will now be allowed to buy and sell private property. For more than 50 years, Cubans' have been restricted to passing their homes on to their children, or engaging in a corrupt system of swapping.

In a speech Monday, President Raul Castro said "the party leadership was in need of renewal and should subject itself to severe self-criticism."

President Castro also said that top political positions will be limited to two five-year terms.
Though, I'm pretty sure that the CIA is still going to try to kill him. And you might as well not worry about Cuba. As it can't revert from something it wasn't originally.

I can't wait to become a poverty tourist in Cuba! But hey, whatever makes it easier to buy Cohibas can't be a bad thing, right?

So now Raul Castro is taking on the reigns and imposing term limits. I guess to be fair, Raul is right when he basically points out that Cuba is bankrupt and can't afford building socialism on the basis of a narrow monoculture economy any more without the support of some help from the USSR. So this doesn't put communism to an end, it's just putting it on hold for a little while.

As for Castro, I wonder if he's going to move to Florida now that he is retired. Isn't that what all the elderly are doing?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The House Finally Lost

The House Finally Lost

First it was, what's next Obama? Sol.exe? It's a slippery slope, I guess this just goes to show you that you need to know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em.
Feds Go 'All In' Against Online Poker Sites

In a dramatic move sure to send shockwaves through the surging Internet poker world, U.S. officials shut down and seized the domain names for the three largest U.S. online poker companies on Friday.

Preet Bharara, the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, unsealed an indictment Friday afternoon charging 11 defendants, including the founders of PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Absolute Poker, with bank fraud, money laundering and illegal gambling offenses.

At the same time, the U.S. seized five Internet domain names used to host the poker games and filed a civil money laundering and a civil complaint against the companies, their assets and the assets of several of their payment processors. Restraining orders were also issued against more than 75 bank accounts used by the poker companies and their payment processes.

“These defendants concocted an elaborate criminal fraud scheme, alternately tricking some U.S. banks and effectively bribing others to assure the continued flow of billions in illegal gambling profits,” Bharara said in a statement. “Foreign firms that choose to operate in the United States are not free to flout the laws they don’t like simply because they can’t bear to be parted from their profits."

The indictment lists five founders of the poker companies: Isai Scheinberg and Paul Tate of PokerStars, Raymond Bitar and Nelson Burtnick of Full Tilt Poker and Scott Tom and Brent Beckley of Absolute Poker.

“These defendants, knowing full well that their business with U.S. customers and U.S. banks was illegal, tried to stack the deck,” said Janice Fedarcyk, assistant director-in-charge at the FBI. “The defendants bet the house that they could continue their scheme, and they lost."

According to the indictment, these individuals obtained accounts at U.S. banks for the poker companies by lying about the nature of the transactions and covering up those lies by creating phone corporations and Web sites.
Why, I'm shocked. Who would have known that the gambling industry had a dark and seedy side? I would have never guessed it.

The most comical aspect of all this is that it's the N.Y. Southern district court that pushed for this is the same one who has jurisdiction over Wall Street. And yet they focus on all this while Wall Street unfairly gets off with a slap on the wrist.

While it's completely unfair, it's still very funny watching people gambling knowing they're circumventing the law and bitch about getting caught.

And while Wall Street should be prosecuted too, that doesn't mean we can't laugh at poker retards who have suddenly found their gambling earnings placed on hold.

When you think about it, Poker is a very adequate method for stealing money from exceedingly stupid rich people. And as funny as this story is, I just can't really get excited about this

The funny thing is that Wachovia laundered hundreds of billions in Mexican cartel drug money and got off with a deferred prosecution by paying a simply $160 million.

It does make you wonder why the government had such a hard-on for online gambling? They've been pretty consistent in trying to shut it down from as long as I could remember. Hell, they've been going after it since the Clinton days and it seems to be a pretty static unwavering priority. What presumably financial industry interest do these stupid little sites threaten and how?

I guess it would be pretty obvious that it's the Las Vegas casinos and owners who are lining those lobbyist pockets. Who else would have some passion to keep away the over saturation of gambling in becoming some sort of regular ol' past time and not something you have to travel to the desert to do legally? People flock to Sin city, Atlantic city and boat rides outside of U.S. law to gamble. If they made it legal to do it online, what would be the point of Vegas? The buffets? Please.

It's also an easy way to throw a bone to the christian right. They like the crackdown because gambling is a sinful practice and even though a ton of Americans do gamble online, none of the gamblers care enough about it to change their voting habits over a few indictments.

I also hear that the NFL lobbies hard against online gambling because they don't like sports betting. I'm not really sure why they would care, but they do. So it's really just a major push by those who own casinos and pay a lot in taxes to keep such moral gray zones to be legal in just the back corners of society.

And it's not like they wouldn't want a piece of it, in fact, that's the major reason why they don't want it legalized... yet. Because they don't like competition and they want time to get into the market and set up their own sites. Harrash knows they could make tons of money off an official world series of poker gambling site. The only problem is that Pokerstars and Full Tilt are way ahead of them in the software and customer service department.

So it really comes down to gambling being illegal because the mega casino companies got beat to the punch and their only way to compete is to lobby to keep it illegal for the time being. But hey, it does make the fact that all these poker players just did a collective What the fuck when they realized their money they had in their account is held indefinitely.

Like I said, I really can't feel sorry for anyone who loses money engaging in an illegal activity. I guess the answer to all that is they probably should have had more lobbyist.

It also does make you wonder how the US can actually enforce something when they clearly have no jurisdiction over the land that the website is hosted in. Not sure how every bank in every country can just buckle over at the sign of trouble. Typically a court in each jurisdiction needs to issue their own restraining order. But hey, oh well. Gambling is bad, duh.

Which begs the question on the aspect of who really gets fucked when the US Government does a successful civil forfeiture on a payment processor or a poker site with US bank accounts. The answer, of course, is the poker players since it's their money. Even if it's done in an illegal manner. But the most money that is fucked here and is being essentially seized by the government is from the people.

Then you factor in that Lotto tickets are how a lot of states make their budgets work. Michigan just added a new Powerball game and California has countless numbers of ways to tax the poor and stupid out of their dollar with promises of a non-shitty future.

They advertise what the pot is for the Powerball and Megamillions on highway signs left and right. But hey, all casinos are money makers and nothing more, right? Just ask future presidential nominee Donald Trump.

Donald Trump owned a casino once.. Oddly enough he ran it so well that he bankrupted the entire casino chain. Now I know you're wondering how one actually even does that. I mean, Casinos, as any Indian would tell you, are perfect methods to print money. But hey, the Donald knows how to bankrupt something.

Essentially, I don't care about this much since I'm not much of a poker player and never have been. but I do feel for the people... even if they really shouldn't have been gambling in such a fashion.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Super Cool To The Homeless...

Super Cool To The Homeless...

On any given night there's about 444,000 people experiencing homelessness... well acording to a study done in 1996. Which brings up a good question - Apparently 1996 was the last time anyone actually cared enough to count America's homeless..

So given this info about the homeless problem it makes you wonder, how many homes are currently empty due to the finical disaster. Surprisingly enough, 13% of all U.S. homes are currently vacant.
NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- High residential vacancies are killing many housing markets, as foreclosed homes sit on the market and depress sale prices and property values.

And it's only getting worse: The national vacancy rate crept up to just over 13% according to last week's decennial census report. That's up from 12.1% in 2007.

"More vacant homes equal more downward pressure on home prices," said Brad Hunter, chief economist for Metrostudy, a real estate information provider.

Maine had the highest proportion of empty housing stock, at 22.8%. Other states with gluts of empty houses included Vermont (20.5%), Florida (17.5%), Arizona (16.3%) and Alaska (15.9%).

And it makes you wonder, why aren't they being put to good use? I mean.. we have a homeless problem that hasn't been checked since 1996, and we have a lot of people-less homes that need filling...

You picking up what I'm putting down? I mean, the banks are basically holding onto the houses to keep the write downs off the balance sheets and to keep prices artificially inflated, cause lord knows there's no one out there that can actually afford to buy these in the secondary market...

Well, there is. But the rich already have summer, spring and fall homes. No need to pick up another one or two in the suburbs. Wouldn't want to slum it up now.

It really has got to be a real boon for squatters though. The banks can't possibly check up on all those houses. Especially when you get out to the boonies. No way are they going to bother with that. Then again, I could be wrong I mean, Rochester's sending swat teams to evict a family with seven kids. also arrested the neighbor in her pajamas for complaining about police overkill

The banks should just pour bleach in the A/C duct and glue all the windows shut. Because you know they're trying to calculate a profitable way to effectively lease their houses to private prison corporations. Just imagine them handing out memos with the word synergy in the title with the clipart of little smiley guys rattling a can against their lush two car port track home cell bars.

On the bright side, those squatters who don't have swat teams with guns in their face can just tear the place apart for the copper. Think of all the scrap metal just laying around.

I'm pretty sure someday people will marvel how 19th century ghost towns are still standing while 21st century Americans were content to live in stucco-painted drywall and Spackle hovels functionally incapable of standing upright without constant heavy maintenance.

A future archeologist will be awed as she steps through the ashen remains of what must have been a stately prince's adobe, poking at the frames of its many windows, not two of which match -- a testament to its regal splendor.

"See here this digital reconstruction of what life must have been like for this early 21st century suburban-type house based on evidence excavated from subsratum A15. Notice how the windows here [points] and here [points] are quite different in style, as are the balustrade and lighting device seen at top. Though little is known as to their exact origin, we can conclude that the occupants must have scavenged them from the remains of other houses that had fallen into disrepair or, I believe the term was, foreclosure."

I looked out my window the other night and saw a half completed strip mall, beggers on the street, a cop car ticketing a car off the highway, smog, no stars, drug dealers, busted street lamps and all around nastiness. "Glory... Glory," I thought to myself.

This is truly the American dream.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Cause I'm The Late Taxman

Cause I'm The Late Taxman

Oh shit, it's the 17th, did you forget to do your taxes on the 15th?! Well, worry no more, my friend. For you didn't have to turn in your tax return by the 15th anyway. At least not this year.

You see, because it fell on a Friday, the I.R.S. decided that they wanted that mother fucking weapon off and just bumped the tax deadline to the 18th. Though I also believe it has something to do with Atlas Shrugged coming out on the 15th and they just wanted to fuck with them on that regard.

WASHINGTON — The Internal Revenue Service today opened the 2011 tax filing season by announcing that taxpayers have until April 18 to file their tax returns. The IRS reminded taxpayers impacted by recent tax law changes that using e-file is the best way to ensure accurate tax returns and get faster refunds.

Taxpayers will have until Monday, April 18 to file their 2010 tax returns and pay any tax due because Emancipation Day, a holiday observed in the District of Columbia, falls this year on Friday, April 15. By law, District of Columbia holidays impact tax deadlines in the same way that federal holidays do; therefore, all taxpayers will have three extra days to file this year. Taxpayers requesting an extension will have until Oct. 17 to file their 2010 tax returns.

The IRS expects to receive more than 140 million individual tax returns this year, with most of those being filed by the April 18 deadline
so if you're like me and very very lazy. Oh wait, that's not me. I already did my taxes. What I meant to say was if you're like my father. God damn, that guy would ALWAYS rush on the 14th to do an extension.

Though I guess it's not really that great to be in a rush to get payment to the government when you're dealing with so many kids. In any event, do you know how important it is to pay your taxes? Let this Disney cartoon tell you why!

So even if it's cool that we can find more and more ways of extracting money from poor people paying taxes does go to social programs that effect.... okay, well they don't really effect you for shit. In fact half of your taxes goes to supporting the Military Industrial Complex.

Obama was so kind in showing us all how much of your money goes to bombing brown people with your tax receipt.

I mean, it's pretty sad that 59% of our budget goes to violence, aggression and military oppression. I guess there's no easy way to get around it. Some people just write passive aggressive notes on their taxes.

I guess I envy you folks who don't have a job and thus don't have to pay taxes.. you know, cause of unemployment and what not. Well, unless plasma donation profits have somehow become taxable lately. I'm sure that some of you are selling your blood to the vampires of capital as your only means of a job that you can support yourself with in this shitty economy.

But hey, remember to max out those IRA deductions!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Don't Tase Me, Brah

Don't Taser Grenade Me, Bro

Yes, that's right.. a grenade that is a taser. What will they come up with next? I can only have nightmares about...

Just look at that thing. It's not even a grenade. It's more of a big non-grenade projectile. Whats even worse is they didn't even shot it at him. What the flying fuck? What a fucking cop out.

He's not man enough to take a hit from a Taser Grenade, but I'm sure there is some bed ridden 90 year old woman or some peaceful protester just asking to get one right between the eyes.

You have to laugh about the fact that he yells "Taser taser taser" before pressing the button. Really? That much warning for a less than lethal weapon? On the more obvious side, I guess it makes sense that the Taser HQ is in Arizona.

It also makes sense to storm the Taser headquarters and burn alive everyone inside. "Oh, this is just terrible. Why would anyone want to murder my wife or husband who is one of the chief architects of the Taser Grenade?!?!"

I could picture the news article now. When they found the body in the sub basement of Taser international headquarters, he had been repeatedly shocked to death by his own taster. Who would do such a thing? The guy got into the taser design business to help people...

I wouldn't be surprised one bit. It's not even like the other tasers are even remotely better. Wouldn't that wall of tasers still hit people who are on the ground? Hee, who cares about them. Shouldn't have done the crime if you can't do the time, right?

This all also screams of free fucking product placement. We are here today to intimidate the populace and show off this new toy which your police department can get its hands on by dialing this toll free number!

When you think about it, this is so much cheaper than having to make your own ads. Thanks capitalism! Your fair and balanced news source really came through in the long run on this one!

Call within the next ten minutes and we'll throw in a free month long trail of the new less-than-lethal 'Death Blossom; Civilian management system. We got Taser Swords! Taser Spears! Taser Grenades! Moving targets giving you trouble? Let's see them run from the patent pending Taser Sniper Rifle! We got Taster Monster trucks and Taser Fishing rods. We got little 100 volt Tasers for the childre! TASER TASTER TASTER!

Be sure to ask your operator about the literal pain ray that is a thing that actually exist and is approved for us against civilians.. Yes, that's right. A literal pain ray.

Wait, you didn't know about the Active Denial System? Really? Oh, do I have some surprises for you. Take a look at this description of what it does.
"For the first millisecond, it just felt like the skin was warming up. Then it got warmer and warmer and you felt like it was on fire.... As soon as you're away from that beam your skin returns to normal and there is no pain."
So what's in the box? Pain.. and lots of it. Just look at this pain ray demonstration video done by marines...

I mean, do I have to point out the obvious in that video where they practice using it by having a group of soldiers pretend to be peaceful protesters? I mean.. that has to make you laugh. Alright boys, the opposing force is on its way. Aim for the world peace sign!

It sure looks like the masses are trying to revolt.. we better fire up the ADS! I can only imagine that in about a year or two we'll be seeing men strapped to chairs with pain rays igniting every nerve on their skin with red hot pain for hours at a time with the supreme court ruling that it's all good as long as it doesn't leave any visible marks.

Sure, it may take another 3 years before the visible tumors start popping up, but by then the court ruling would have already gone through four or five denied appeals. Or hell, maybe ADS causes instant cancer. It is working off the same shit your microwave does.

When it comes down to it, I'd rather get my ass beat with a fucking club than get shot with a ray that makes you feel like you're on fire. How do you even fight back against that?

The answer is you don't.

Tasers, on the other hand, are marketed as "non-lethal solutions to firearms", the original intent being that instead of using a gun you'd use this to minimize shootouts and stuff. However pigs interpret this as "use when you're in a bad mood and using a gun would get you fired/sent to jail" and tasering people for the most random shit. Also, it's sold as "non lethal" when there are many documented cases of it killing people and not being not-so-not-lethal.

Also, it's a good excuse for shooting a handcuffed man in the back "Whoops! I thought that it was my taser, My bad, dude!"

What else are you going to do? Pepper spray the fucker? Much like in the situation when a kid gets out of fucking line at school...
LAKEWOOD, Colo. (WXYZ) - A second grader was so disruptive in class one day police say they were forced to use pepper spray on him.

Police in Lakewood, Colorado say 8-year-old Aidan Elliot threw a violent temper tantrum in his classroom.

Officers say he ripped wood trim off the walls and threatened teachers and students with a sharp piece of wood held like a knife.

Police were called to the school, where they told him to stop, but they say he wouldn't.

Aidan's mother admits her son has a history of behavioral problems.

She says the school called police three times on him but adds this time police used excessive force.

She plans on filing a complaint.

Ha! Good luck with that complaint! Obviously your 60lb son is an absolute angel dust fused menace to society that has to be stopped before he harms police officers or others. Let's see this roid raged child:

Yup.. though, haven't they tasered 2nd graders before? Or maybe I just lost track of how much insane amount of force has been used towards those who clearly show no threat? Most of all, what kind of limp-wristed coward needs pepper spray to put down an 8 year old? Grow some balls, officer.

You should check out the video where he tells the police "I'm gonna kill you motherfuckers" when they show up. I mean, if I was that officer I would be laughing.. at least a little bit. For me second grade kind of sucked. So some part of me wishes I had the balls to do this at that age.

So what did Fox News have to say about this? Oh, that's always fun to find out...
What does Fox News host Gretchen Carlson think of police potentially using pepper spray against a young child?

“In my book, that’s called discipline,” she said during Tuesday’s broadcast of “Fox and Friends.”
Which leads us perfectly to the final frontier.. well, not really the final one, I'm sure we can get lower. But in the latest wave of Tru TV truly awful shows, I bring you the latest that just glorify this bullshit. I present POLICE POV

I just have to stop and think that this is what video games were suppose to desensitize me to. Because really, it's like Call of Duty.. only you're in the POV of the cop and the flag you're trying to catch is some black man.

I mean, seriously... seriously? How can anyone with a straight face look at this and not think it's some sort of parody alternate future where shit is just upside down. Especially when you hear cops saying shit like


I mean, seriously? That's what you're trying to present as the just hand of the law?
New Technology Puts Viewers in the Middle of the Action
In truTV’s Exciting New Series POLICE POV, Premiering Sunday, April 17

truTV is taking the next bold step in first-person action with POLICE POV, a stunning new series that will allow viewers to experience the intensity of using excessive force through the officers’ own point of view.

Incorporating one of the most innovative camera technologies ever used by law enforcement, POLICE POV will provide viewers with thrilling, up-close access to all the drama, suspense and action of shooting unarmed African-Americans, destroying lower-class families, and tazing peaceful protesters that police officers across the nation get to revel in daily. The series is slated to premiere on truTV Sunday, April 17, at 10 p.m. (ET/PT).


Well played officer, you sure got that guy when he wasn't expecting it. I can't wait till we de-evolve to the state were we just watch live murder on television without even flinching. Logan's run used to seem like some sort of future that would never even possibly happen. How I'm proven wrong.

Friday, April 15, 2011

April 15th Just Got Worse

April 15th Just Got Worse

Today is the day that you would normally pay your taxes. Well, not this year. Though it doesn't mean that it's the only thing awful that happens today. Something else shitty happens... Atlas Shrugged also comes out today.

That shit took some effort to sit through without having to shoot my brains out. I love how it lost all of their A-list talent along the way of its production. Presumably Part 2 will be that long droning speech that comprises the entire second half of the book. It'll be exactly like the first part of the last Harry Potter film.

You know, at one point Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were supposed to star in this. Now it looks like something you'd probably see on SyFy. Well, that is if they loosen up their standards for what they consider horror. Though Atlas Shrugged should always be considered a scary thing.

But really, this thing has gone through production hell. They fired and replaced the director 9 days before shooting started. The no name director also cast himself as John Galt. Ha! Now that's comedy.

All the actors are people who've played, at most, secondary roles in insignificant TV series before and the screenplay writer has never done anything before according to IMDB. Then again, I choose not to be part of IMDB, so maybe the director is like me and is completely embarrassed by the work he has done in this industry.

Did anyone not mention to the makers that watching a movie about running a railroad company is inherently boring? Did they not stop and think for a second that setting the movie in the 21st century makes their characters look like complete idiots in pinning all of their hopes and dreams on the financial success of a transcontinental passenger train line.

The transcontinental line is already complete 2 or 3 generations before the story begins. The new line is just a spur. Yeah, I get that railroads admittedly are not as interesting politically as they used to be and they're not completely irrelevant to the economy. And I could understand if this was a vital freight line or something.

But a passenger line? Really? REALLY?

I guess it would be pretty ironic if, after watching this film, all the dumb right wing shits suddenly take an interest in rail transport and leads to an expansion and modernization of Amtrak.

That wont actually happen, but man it would be pretty ironic if it did. Especially since if it was government owned, it would technically be considered a socialist train.

It's funny and sad that they scheduled it for April 15th because it's tax day. Only they didn't know that the IRS changed tax day to April 18th this year. HA! Talk about throwing a wrench on their train track.

But seriously, this trailer used just about every Hollywood trailer cliche in the book, but they just can't succeed in making 'Running a railroad company' any more interesting a subject no matter how hard they try. Ah yes, trains. Steel mills, heavy industry... the movie is truly set in 21st century America.
“There are two novels that can transform a bookish 14-year-kld’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.

One is a childish daydream that can lead to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood in which large chunks of the day are spent inventing ways to make real life more like a fantasy novel.

The other is a book about orcs.”

– “The Value of Nothing” by Raj Patel
It really makes you wonder what the fuck this story is even about. The only thing I could remotely compare it to is, do you remember in the movie 2012 where all the rich people built their own super yacht to live on after the world ended?

This movie is kind of like that...

This ends up being a cast of video game voice actors and TV extras picked up a few hours before filming started and a crew paid 25% of their normal wages working with a script written by a guy that's done nothing and a fitness equipment CEO, all directed by a guy who's done a few episodes of some random sitcom.

Why yes.. I can see this movie going places.

What's even funnier is that one of the actors was in the Che biopic. I have to wonder if that got awkward around the set.

I guess I just can't stress this enough. Atlas Shrugged is a really really bad book. Not just because of the characters, or the writing style, or even the monologue, or the cracked up philosophy espoused. But because the entire plot is based on the existence of technology from the 1960's fantastic four comics.

Every, and I mean EVERY major plot point of Atlas Shrugged involves one of the following:
- adamantium
- a sonic weapon capable of destroying a 100-mile radius
- illusion-force fields
- a free energy machine
- a signal jacker that can control all radios on the planet

And I guess I'm leaving you with the final question to this piece. Who exactly is John Galt? I mean, I shouldn't leave you hanging here... but I am..

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Abortions For All? Abortions For None.

Abortions For All? Abortions For None.

I have to find it both funny and sad that planned parenthood is being defunded. I mean, yeah this sounds like it's just an issue that women have to worry about. But you don't realize that it also affects you a lot. What are you going to do now that the access to a plentiful amount of free condoms and STD testing gets defunded?

I mean, only 7% of Planned Parenthood services were for abortions, so this was one of those scare tactics that you really saw coming a mile away and still it succeeded sadly. I guess the more depressing aspect of all this is that so many women are not only okay with having their ovaries regulated but actually support it.

Just look at it that way, some old white men are controlling the reproductive rights of young poor minority females. It was bad enough that Planned Parenthood took about a third of their annual budget from the federal government and ran at a terrific loss because they gave away basically anything for people who needed it in order to be responsible sexually active people....

And I guess that was the problem to most of these right wing religious nuts. It really was a situation where the House Speaker John Boehner was saying that women are not to be trusted. Don't believe me?
Under a GOP-backed bill expected to sail through the House of Representatives, the Internal Revenue Service would be forced to police how Americans have paid for their abortions. To ensure that taxpayers complied with the law, IRS agents would have to investigate whether certain terminated pregnancies were the result of rape or incest. And one tax expert says that the measure could even lead to questions on tax forms: Have you had an abortion? Did you keep your receipt?

In testimony to a House taxation subcommittee on Wednesday, Thomas Barthold, the chief of staff of the nonpartisan Joint Tax Committee, confirmed that one consequence of the Republicans' "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act" would be to turn IRS agents into abortion cops—that is, during an audit, they'd have to detemine, from evidence provided by the taxpayer, whether any tax benefit had been inappropriately used to pay for an abortion.

The proposed law, also known as H.R. 3, extends the reach of the Hyde Amendment—which bans federal funding for abortion except in cases of rape, incest, or when the life of the mother is at stake—into many parts of the federal tax code. In some cases, the law would forbid using tax benefits—like credits or deductions—to pay for abortions or health insurance that covers abortion. If an American who used such a benefit were to be audited, Barthold said, the burden of proof would lie with the taxpayer to provide documentation, for example, that her abortion fell under the rape/incest/life-of-the-mother exception, or that the health insurance she had purchased did not cover abortions.

"Were this to become law, people could end up in an audit, the subject of which could be abortion, rape, and incest," says Christopher Bergin, the head of Tax Analysts, a nonpartisan, not-for-profit tax policy group. "If you pass the law like this, the IRS would be required to enforce it."

The proposal, which House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) has declared a top priority of the new Republican Congress, has 221 cosponsors and is expected to pass the House easily. The bill caused controversy and sparked a national protest campaign in January after Mother Jones reported that it would limit the Hyde Amendment's rape exception to cases of "forcible rape."

It really is a fucked up situation. I mean, now they're forbidding the use of tax benefits like credits and/or deductions to pay for abortions or health insurance that covers abortion. They're basically criminalizing and pricing abortions out of the range of people who can't afford to have children from the beginning.

Though I don't get how any tax credit or deduction can be used to pay for anything. Unless you actually sign over your refund check directly to your abortion doctor. Otherwise how could they tell?

But in that I guess they're saying that you can't use one of those tax exempt health savings accounts to buy health insurance that covers abortion. Sure seems like an intrusion into the health care choices of everyone. Not to mention tax deductions and credits are not actually government expenditures.

But over all this is a great combination. It's symbolically shitting on women and making the IRS agents' jobs more miserable. Even more so because at the same exact time that all this is happening, funding for the IRS is being cut.

It's like painting "Fuck France!" on the side of a missile before you launch that fucker into some Pakistani wedding. But just picture that, you're there with your tax guy going over this year's paper work and you just have to break the news to your wife/girlfriend/mistress that your tax guy said that you need to cut back on abortions this year.

By this point you just are better off assuming that eventually abortion will become illegal again. I just wonder how I can learn how to perform back-alley abortions without a clothing hanger. I could really use the extra cash right now in this economy.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

California Budget Discussion....

California Budget Discussion....

This is seriously the topic that you just don't want to talk about. Like asking a nun about sex advice. It's just that awkward. Though, more awkward is that California is completely and utterly fucked beyond any recognition.

Then again, that's just another day in this paradise...
Reporting from Sacramento -- Gov. Jerry Brown has abandoned his effort to negotiate a bipartisan budget, charging that Republicans were unwilling to support his plan unless he yielded to "an ever-changing list of collateral demands."

The governor's announcement that he is walking away from the negotiating table, made in a late-afternoon news release Tuesday, further roils the state's finances and marks the biggest setback yet for the 72-year-old Brown. He returned to Sacramento this year for his third term as governor promising that he had the political skills and policy expertise to resolve the state's chronic financial mess.

Earlier in the day, key GOP lawmakers who had been negotiating with the governor declared the talks fruitless.

"We gave it our best. We're very disappointed. It's done," said Sen. Bill Emmerson (R-Hemet).

Budget cuts that lawmakers approved earlier this month closed only $11.2 billion of the estimated $26-billion deficit. Brown wanted to address most of the rest of the gap with a special election in June, when he hoped that voters would agree to continue paying temporary increases in taxes on income, sales and vehicles. All will have expired by July 1; higher income taxes already have stopped.

The governor needed at least four GOP votes to get a tax measure on a June ballot. On Tuesday, he said he was giving up his quest for those votes.

"Each and every Republican legislator I've spoken to believes that voters should not have this right to vote unless I agree to an ever-changing list of collateral demands," his statement said.

Administration officials and legislative leaders declined to say how they intend to proceed. Among the options they could pursue to raise revenue are gathering signatures for a citizens' initiative on the tax plan, or attempting to use an untested legal loophole to put the measure on the ballot with a simple majority of the Legislature, which Democrats command.

But time is running short. The deadline for balancing the budget is in June, and legislative leaders acknowledged Tuesday that they would be unable to place a measure before voters by then. California's treasurer has warned that the state would face a serious cash crunch if resolution of the budget problem was pushed into the fall, possibly forcing officials once again to issue IOUs.

Brown lashed out at GOP lawmakers Tuesday for blocking a June election, the linchpin of his budget plan. He cited a demand that he keep rather than jettison, as his budget proposed, a tax break given to California companies that move jobs out of state.

"Republicans demand that out-of-state corporations that keep jobs out of California be given a billion-dollar tax break that will come from our schoolchildren, public safety and our universities. This I am not willing to do," he said in his statement.

The tax break was one of dozens of demands that Republicans delivered to Brown on Friday in a seven-page document that outlined their price for supporting his plan. It was one of several major points of disagreement that Emmerson said could not be overcome.

Another was how to cap state spending. A third was how long voters would be asked to renew the billions of dollars in taxes. Brown wanted five years of extended taxes; Republicans wanted no more than three.

Emmerson called Brown a "very honorable adversary" in negotiations but said the divide between them could not be bridged, even though much progress had been made on changes to state regulations and public pensions.

Decisions decisions. Should the democrats tell the republicans to fuck off and just use this "loophole" to raise taxes? Or should they just slash an additional $26 billion from the budget? Man, what a tough choice. Even more so because Brown's budget already cut $800 million from community colleges.

Ah, do you recall last year when people thought that we'd have all this money coming in from the legalization of weed and single payer health care in Ca. after Brown was elected? Hee. Oh for shame.

I guess the only thing that I could really be surprised about is that Brown shows far more backbone than I expected him to show. This just shows that California is beyond fucked.