Saturday, November 30, 2013

This Is Every Relationship You Probably Have Had Summed Up

This Is Every Relationship You Probably Have Had Summed Up

Now that we're in the midst of the Holidays and you're either lamenting the fact that you're not in a relationship... or perhaps that you are in one, here's a video sum up of your history when it comes to your relationships of the past...

Yeah, that seems about right.

Friday, November 29, 2013

The Blackest of The Fridays

The Blackest of The Fridays

Hey Capitalist swine, CONSUME!!!!!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

This Thanksgiving Try Not To Be A Consumer Whore

This Thanksgiving Try Not To Be A Consumer Whore

Originally this was just going to be an article about how Wal*Mart had put out a donation container begging for canned foods for their employees because they are pretty much borderline in poverty. 

 But let's move past that for a moment and let's tackle the bigger issue. As to why companies feel the need to undercut each other for Black Friday sales. I mean, we all know why, to turn that red mark on their books into a black one. Especially important in an era were it seems like the recession is still a major problem for those investors.

But hey, this story was pretty terrible, so read on;
A Walmart in northeast Ohio is holding a holiday canned food drive — for its own underpaid employees. “Please Donate Food Items Here, so Associates in Need Can Enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner,” a sign reads in the employee lounge of a Canton-area Walmart.
Kory Lundberg, a Walmart spokesman, says the drive is a positive thing. “This is part of the company’s culture to rally around associates and take care of them when they face extreme hardships,” he said. Indeed, Lundberg is correct that it’s commendable to make an effort to help out those who are in need, especially during the holidays.
But the need for a food drive illustrates how difficult it is for Walmart workers to get by on its notoriously low pay. The company has long been plagued by charges that it doesn’t pay its employees a real living wage. In fact, Walmart’s President and CEO, Bill Simon, recently estimated that the majority of its one million associates make less than $25,000 per year, just above the federal poverty line of $23,550 for a family of four. When the Washington DC city council passed a living wage bill requiring Walmart to pay workers a minimum of $12.50 per hour, the chain threatened to shut down its new stores if Mayor Vincent Gray didn’t veto the bill. Gray vetoed the bill.
Walmart’s low wages come at a public cost. Because low-income workers still need housing and health care, taxpayers end up doling out millions in benefits to bridge the gap faced by many of the store’s retail workers. They have also led to strikes at Walmart stores from Seattle to Chicago to Los Angeles in recent weeks.
Even if the canned food drive successfully gathers enough to help out the Canton store’s low-income workers, many of them might not even be able to have the food on Thanksgiving. That’s because Walmart is one of a group of retailers that will open its stores for Black Friday sales beginning at 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving afternoon.
That last line cracks me up. Well, more to the point I have to laugh because if I don't, I may very well go fucking crazy in a mad rage at what society has be turned to. We've become a single minded cell that is all about consumerism. We must buy the latest toy to pacify ourselves from our sad existence that there's an actual demand that stores like Wal*Mart stay open on Thanksgiving to give us those door buster sales.

Instead of, you know, spending Thanksgiving with friends and loved ones and enjoying a meal of what you can afford, we pretty much have turned it into an excuse to buy that big screen television or new game console that will be replaced in a few years. When we should really be focused on the relationships we build and memories we developed over time, and most importantly, over a meal shared by your loved ones.

That's the real meaning that needs to be taken away from this day when we made up some bullshit about Pilgrims an Indians putting aside their uneasy trust for one another, especially when the Indian should have totally taken off those English bastards' head and put it on a spike to let other explores know they won't be fucked with.

Anyhow,  where was I? yeah, so I don't think that even Honest Abe could have expected what his lie of a day has turned into. When we can't even enjoy food with one another. That's the true level of sadness. Especially more so with the fact that we aren't even paying the workers of Wal*Mart a wage they could live on, let alone afford something like a turkey or some buck stuffers. I mean, don't they have enough Turkey's in the shopping center that they can't just take a few cents profit from a few dozen birds sold and just invest that in making sure that those poor employees that aren't even able to scrape by are taken care of for the one day of the year where it's important as to where you enjoy your meal?

But hey, I'm sure there' Hungry Man TV diners in the freezer section they could munch on, you know when they aren't being called into work on a fucking Holiday just so people could save a couple of bucks on shit they don't need anyway.

It's not like Wal Mart's shitty lack of a health benefit plan is hurting America, right? Oh wait, it is. But that's a whole other can of worms that I don't want to get into right now. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised that society has fallen so far. 

Did you know that more than 50 large U.S. cities have an "anti-camping" or "anti-food sharing" law in their books over the past few years. What this law says is that you basically can't share food with the homeless. It's a tactic used to try to get the homeless population of that city to simply go away. How fucking heartless.

 The Los Angeles City Council recently decided to hear from the uproar from homeowners, decided to put up to vote a ban on feeding the homeless in public spaces.  Saying that if you give out free food on the street with no other services to deal with the collateral damage involved with feeding them, then you simply can't feed the homeless.

Apparently the neighbors of the area were complaining that the homeless would stick around long after the bread line was gone. They're complaining that it now feels like a mental ward to live in their neighborhood, what with all the homeless. All I have to say to that is, man, it's sure nice that they aren't living on the street or, for that matter, go without a meal and go to sleep fucking cold and hungry.

I'm a bit sick by this notion that in order to correct the problem, you simply brush it under the rug and tell those people to go away. It's pretty sickening.

Especially problematic when you factor in that there's around 54,000 homeless people in Los Angeles County. So the answer and solution they have to this is to simply not feed them. To pass the buck to the next area and tell these people, who have nothing already, that they should fuck off?  Wow. I mean, talk about being thankful on this day that you are so well off. 

So on this day just make sure you turn to those you are thankful for and the things in your life that aren't complete shit, and realize you've got it better off than most. So fucking enjoy it. 

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Chanukah

Happy Chanukah

Hey there, this year Chanukah lands early and takes over Thanksgiving. Who would have known. Still, while everyone is preparing one of them turkey's, you might as well master the art of your latkes.

Oh, Don't act like I need to teach you how to make Latkes. Your bubby should already have taught you that lesson. How else are you gonna land a man? You want to give your poor mother grandchildren, don't you? In any case. You take that already awesome recipe of latkes and you simply top it with some horseradish crema.

1/2 cup Mexican Crema. Go to the market with all them spanish speakers and get some.
add 2 tablespoons of freshly grated horseradish. Like you don't know where to get this?
add 1 tablespoon of rice wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon of kosher salt and mix it together.

If you want to spice it up some, then you take some jalapenos and you chop them up finely and put it on top of those latkes. Oh boy, you're gonna give your parents some grandchildren soon with this trick.

But hey, if you don't want to go all fancy smanchy and just want to be ol' boring betty. You can always just make your own apple sauce. Just think of the lines down at the bodega.

First you get 3 Golden delicious apples and 3 Fuji apples. Peel them, cored them, and quartered them. Set those aside as you get 1 cup of unfiltered apple juice, 2 tablespoons cognac, 2 tablespoons of butter. 3 tablespoons of honey and 1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon. Put all that in a microwave container as well as the apples - shake it around and nuke it for 10 minutes with one side of the container just slightly open to let the steam out.

Smoosh all that together and then pour it on your latkes. Now for sure you'll bring home a good boy to your parents for your traditional Chinese food dinner on Christmas.

Oh, and here's the first of your Chanukah gifts. This little music video

Now isn't that a lot better than some erasers or pencils?

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

A Dog and His Beer

A Dog and his Beer

A couple of weeks back Triumph, the insult comic dog went to the Great American Beer Festival. In which he had a really good time drinking. Surprising since he is a dog and, well, that shit would kill a dog. Though he's a puppet. No harm there.

In any event, enjoy the aftermath.

Which makes me think that I seriously need to get up there for a GABF event some time since they look like fun, even if it's filled with pretentious douche bag snobby beer drinkers. And being someone who enjoys a good brew, that's saying a lot if I can't even tolerate them sometimes.

Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot

Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot

As we approach the day of being thankful, there's one thing to be thankful about... being on this little pale blue dot in the middle of this vast galaxy and universe. Tell them, Carl Sagan!

Now don't you feel motivated for.. I dunno, something.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Sometimes Drugs Won't Help the Holidays

Sometimes Drugs Won't Help the Holidays

We all know that the time between Halloween and New Years is pretty much a blur because of how quickly shit comes up. Within every three or four weeks, you have another situation where you're dealing with your family. That alone could cause you to try to trip out on many mind numbing drugs just to get through the day, but perhaps this video should teach you a valuable lesson about not wigging the fuck out and riding that dragon. Cause that shit can mess you up cray cray style.

All I want to know is what the fuck did she take so I can never accidentally try that. Shit was off the charts unreal. I may not dig on my family, but man, they are a lot better to deal with than having reality just bend and warp around me like what I imagine that chick is seeing the world like.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Putting The Ass in Classical

Putting The Ass in Classical

Well, this is a thing that happened... I guess you could thank Miley for all the ass twerking sort of things happening lately.

While I'm not sure what I just watched. I mean, that wasn't really burlesque, now was it? Just some gal walking out in a thong and bam, ass in yo face! Either way, I think it was worth realizing that it existed. Maybe now you understand some obscure Halloween Costume you saw at a party or something.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

50 Years of Who

50 Years of Who

Today marks the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who. In honor of the very special Day of the Doctor episode, here's this little set up that will make all you who enjoyed Paul McGann's Doctor Who for the entire one on screen Fox/BBC episode. Oh yeah, as well as those tons of audio adventures.

In any event, enjoy the shit out of this, man.

Now everyone is wanting more 8th Doctor's adventures. Which would and very well could make sense. I know I would watch it. It has to be a lot better than Paul's first and only television adventure. In it the 8th Doctor shows up on the mean streets of.... I want to say Oakland or Berkley, and gets shot walking out of the Tardis. But that's not what kills him. Nope, it's stupid medical malpractice that does him in.

Really, the lamest way a Doctor could possibly ever die.

You Gotta Split

You Gotta Split

This week two things happened. First off, Van Damme did some splits on some moving cars to some pretty soft inspirational music...

And then Channing Tatum pulled a parody on him and it was most epic.

Bravo, Channing. Bravo.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Hot Cans

Hot Cans

While it may be winter, it's still perfect time in Southern California for some camping. Here's a handy little trick to convert a can into something that can cook your food with nothing more than an old 5 cent deposit can and some rubbing alcohol.

Sounds pretty legit. Though I'm sure there's going to be a lot of burned hands after this.

Wes Anderson Invites You To Stay at The Grand Budapest Hotel

Wes Anderson Invites You To Stay at The Grand Budapest Hotel

I really don't think I need to set this up. It's yet another amazing looking Wes Anderson film that just seems like a fun adventure. I can't wait and this trailer does nothing but hype me up more and more about it.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Round Abouts Vs. Four Ways

Roundabouts Vs. Four Ways

While us American's aren't as used to them, I have constantly said that roundabouts are far more efficient than four way stops. I know what you're thinking, that's strange. As most of the times that you get to a roundabout, you're confused as all fuck about what to do. But those foreigners know a thing or two about them and here's mythbusters doing the dirty work for you

It's pretty clear as to why, the lack of stopping at all helps keep the flow of traffic moving. I don't know about how you drive, but I have known plenty of drivers who, when make the four way stop, take far too long to get going once again afterwards. It does take away momentum from the car. Imagine all the gas you're pissing away as well by doing the stop and go.

In any case, this just shows that we need far more roundabouts, but more than anything, we need drivers to get more use to them.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

This Black Canary Sings a Song of Badassary

This Black Canary Sings a Song of Badassary 

On the CW show Arrow, which is probably the only good thing that DC has done right in the past few years in my eyes, we have been introduced to the Canary, which let's face it, unless they're saving up the name Black Canary for Laural's character, is the closest we'll get to seeing that song bird on the show.

In any case, they cast probably the most fitting, and I do mean fit, female for the role. Take a look at some of her stunt and other pretty fucking crazy action stunt work that just makes me love Caity Lotz even more.

Parkour  from caity Lotz on Vimeo.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

50 Years of Doctor Who

50 Years of Doctor Who

Up until now I really hadn't been paying much attention to news about the 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who. I had heard a little tidbit here and there, but nothing really that got me excited to seek out spoilers or anything of the such.

Even more so because Matt Smith was leaving and, well, until I see more of the newer, older Doctor, I really don't want to make any judgement calls. I originally thought Matt Smith looked way too emo and young for the role, but was proven wrong as he's been one of my favorites. In any event, about a couple of weeks ago, this little teaser for the 50th Anniversary dropped, and man did I drop a load in how excited I was for the upcoming special in another week or so.

Yeah, this is going to be some good shit.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Shit is Fucked Up and Shit

Shit is Fucked Up and Shit

Yeah, fuck America.

Fuck Capitalism

Fuck The System

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Dogs And Water

Dogs And Water 

I'm just going to leave this here

Carry on with your day not suddenly getting ten times better.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Lily Allen Straight Up Smacks You With The Patriarchy

Lily Allen Straight Up Smacks You With The Patriarchy

Enjoy this little melody by Lily Allen

I'm a little concerned by the irony that most will enjoy fetishlizing those backup dancers. I mean, is it really okay to objectify them simply because Lily Allen is making a feminist point. Though perhaps that's the whole point in the over simplified issue.

But the fact is that this is a good satire. It works on the levels that she wanted to highlight and show how fucked up our pop music media scene is.Jewel tried to do this way back when with this little video, that... well, to be honest, I enjoyed far more than I'm comfortable to admit to. But I'll say it proud and loud that I enjoyed Jewel's other music.

Now looking at that video again, I feel like I should apologize as I'm clearly the problem here. Damn you for being so gorgeous, Jewel! As for Lily Allen, you're cute and you know how to knock it out with those vocals. Keep on keeping on, girl.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Tower of Poverty

Tower of Poverty

Well, if you've watched Homeland, perhaps this sort of strange mythical tower will ring a bell. And more horrifying is that it's actually real.

Pretty strange and creepy. But at the same time a symbol of taking back something the 1% rich had and giving it to the people.

This Holiday Season, Try Not To Drink and Drive

This Holiday Season, Try Not To Drink and Drive

A little reminder, that even though the family can be unbearable at times and you can only find solace at the bottom of a bottle, try not to destroy someone else's life by drinking and driving. This friendly UK ad should tell you all you need to know... 

Sure makes an impact...

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Crack is Whack

Crack is Whack 

But don't let anyone fool you, even if you smoke it, you too can be come the mayor of Toronto.

Take me out with a bong rip.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

You'll Lose An Arm To Adventure Time

You'll Lose An Arm To Adventure Time

In Adventure Time you have Finn The Human, and he has a problem. It seems that every future and alternative universe version of himself simply loses his arm....

Only Fiona the Human, the female alternate version of Finn still has her arm. But the special hidden trick to all this is... is that Finn's arm in that tree? What the hell, man. Adventure time, you're cray cray.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

GoT: Medieval Happy Fun Time Place

GoT: Medieval Happy Fun Time Place

Now that Winter has finally come, I guess we should take a moment to enjoy some sort of Game of Thrones parody for as much as we can as we pass the time till the new season comes out. Because let's be real, we aren't getting a new book any time soon.

So here, enjoy Medieval Happy Fun Place or whatever.

Now for the outtakes

Enjoyable enough, I'd say.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Sexy Teachers

Sexy Teachers

Every now and then you hear a story about a teacher who, for whatever reason wants to shoot fish in a barrel and fuck a student. I'm still confused on why a teacher needs the self esteem boast of awkward sex. But then there's situations where a teacher is so hot that they posed for Playboy before applying for the shitty paying position of being a teacher.
She's done "Naked Outdoors" and modeled in a simulated lesbian sex scene, but now one former Playboy model-turned-teacher just wants to be an educator -- and at least one parent seems to have a problem with that.

Even while Cristy Nicole Deweese was Playboy's “Coed of the Month” in February 2011, she intended to become a Spanish teacher. She discussed her future plans in a sexy, innuendo-laden video that was produced around that time.

Deweese, who modeled under the name "Cristy Nicole," was 18 when she posed for Playboy. She's 21 now, and has since achieved her goal of becoming a Spanish teacher, landing a job at a Dallas-area magnet school. But according to the Dallas Morning News, her modeling past isn't sitting well with at least one parent.
Some parents are going on about wondering if her male 16-17 year old students could study without looking her without picturing her buck-ass naked. And for female students, they question if this is someone they can respect as an educator.

Let's be honest for a minute. If we have to make teachers asexual, then you're doing it all wrong. Kids at that age are popping boners for just about anything. Hell, a gust of wind blows past their shorts and I'm sure they'll experience some surprising growth. They're just getting use to their bodies. You sort of need to accept that they're all a bunch of horny little bastards. So where does it end in making teachers completely asexual in order for them to NOT be a distraction - You know, aside from their usual distraction in one another?

If a kid that she teachers finds those pictures, then perhaps you should reward him for some excellent detective skills in using google. But why punish her for actions she did in the past long before she was a teacher?

Then again, she did know she wanted to be a teacher....

Which begs the question on what she was thinking when she was doing the easy money modeling thinking that it could never come back to haunt her. But I'm not that surprised that she has a mouth of a sailor. Most teachers are pretty rough around the edges in the teachers lounge. There ain't no one that is going to argue against that.

I think the lesson here is that you need to think ahead about your actions. Sometimes they're not worth the long term damage that they could. While people shouldn't look to the past to hold something against a person, you need to think of what you're doing and looking before you leap on all of this.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Apparently Even Bostonians Hate People From Boston

Apparently Even Bostonians Hate People From Boston

I'll gladly state it. I hate Bostonians. I hate them a lot. They're a bunch of fucking savages who talk shit about everyone else, but the moment they get a bombing in their marathon, they become... nay, they already were, but their true colors come out in how much of a piece of shit they all are.

Just look at these fine upstanding Bostons fighting one another during the Red Sox championship parade

Fucking disgusting excuse for human garbage. And it's not even that it's an isolated case. Bostonian's are the first to ask you where you're from and what race you are. They're fucking racist and it's all about status to them. Even if their fucking team sucked donkey dick for decades previous to the last one.

It's the picture of true white trash east coasters. For all that it matters to me, both Boston and New York deserve one another in how both are the lowest of the lows to me.

Fuck them.  #Bostonsucks #Bostonweak #Whatahyah #Fackingchwist #BwasthonSucks

Saturday, November 9, 2013

I Drink Your Water

I Drink Your Water

Water is pretty important, it provides life and gives women an excuse to wear swimsuits... no wait, that's just not the proper thing to say. In any event, Los Angeles would not be Los Angeles without water, and this weekend alone you can go visit where the majority of the water in L.A. comes from as The L.A. Aqueduct opened this weekend.
The cascade where Sierra Nevada snowmelt flows into Los Angeles by way of the Los Angeles Aqueduct will be open to the public this weekend in celebration of the waterway's 100th anniversary.
The Aqueduct Cascades in Sylmar at 17001 Foothill Blvd. will be open from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m. on Sunday.
The system of flumes, power plants, and pumps brings water 233 miles from the Owens Valley to Los Angeles, where it flows down a studded, concrete flume to aerate it.
On Tuesday, Mayor Eric Garcetti and Department of Water and Power officials marked the centennial of the aqueduct's 1913 opening, which gave the city the boost it need to grow from an outpost of about 300,000 into the nation's second largest city with a population of about 4 million.

Why is this Aqueduct actually important? Without it we wouldn't be living in Los Angeles. Hell, Los Angeles wouldn't be a city. The Valley would also be a land on its own. You see, when the water rights came about, Los Angeles annexed the San Fernando Valley in order to get those water rights.

You know what, there's a lot of interesting stuff to know about this and you should know where your water is coming from, so just go over there this weekend and check it out, okay? 

Friday, November 8, 2013

Loki Rocking Them Moves

Loki Rocking Them Moves

Oh that trickster, what ways will he win the hearts and minds. But now that we're on the day that Thor: The Dark World gets released, perhaps we should watch Tom Hiddleston rock them moves

No need to trick me, Loki, I'm on your side.You don't even have to act like Owen Wilson

But it wouldn't hurt.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Forced To Be A Weekend Warrior, Brah

Forced To Be A Weekend Warrior, Brah

It looks like the days are done for where a USC'er could be a USC'er. As the campus has just banned weekday fraternity parties after repeated hospitalization for alcohol-related problems.

Just recently eight people were sent to a local hospital from Thursday to Sunday. Clearly they don't have the chops to party with the true party animals, you hear, brah. Seven of the eight were USC students and one was a female student from Loyola. See what happens when you try to step up and break that beer pong record? You get served.

It looks like Sigma Alpha Epsilon is the real life Animal House. They've been slammed with double secret probation. Or in other words, they've been suspended pending an investigation. I didn't go to a school with the whole Greek life, so I don't think I ever really understood it, but you sort of have to register your parties to the Greek Organization for approval by the university administrators and LA Fire department.

I dunno, seems pretty preppy to me. But do I think this will do anything for this situation of very hardcore drinking? Oh come on now..Did Animal House teach you nothing?

Wednesday, November 6, 2013



Well, now that we're reaching the end of the season for Always Sunny, it's time to just enjoy some foreign love for this show with kids singing a song from a play about child molestation.

Now isn't that awwwwww inspiring.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Guerilla Public Service

Guerrilla Public Service

One day while going back home to his artist residency at the Brewery Arts Colony, Richard Ankrom noticed that the 5 freeway wasn't properly marked on the 110 north. This simple action would have cleared up a lot of confusion and slow down that happens in that specific spot. So he decided to do a sort of Guerrilla public service and the opposite of graffiti, the dude changed a chaotic freeway into a slightly more cleared up chaotic one.

Guerrilla Public Service from richard ankrom on Vimeo.

It's pretty crazy that the sucker stood up there for eight years. But hey, I guess when you put on a hardhat and a reflective vest, you could pretty much do anything on the freeways.

Makes you think that not all vandalism is bad. 

Monday, November 4, 2013

The State of New York Vs. Banksy

The State of New York Vs. Banksy

After a month of chilling in New York, Banksy's residency there has come to an end. But it doesn't end without some really amazing pieces being put up, a bunch of fucking New Yorker's going buck wild in showing how fucked up the Art world really is and a lot of social commentary and wacky hijinks

The bunch of it can be see at Banksy' website.But then you could just read a couple that I highlight riiiiiight now.

It was really interesting to read that he set up a street vendor in central park to just sell his work for pretty much peanuts compared to what it sells in an art auction house.

It's like hitting the lotto, and all that dude wanted was some art to hang on his wall. Go figure.

This next piece is one that I just love so much. Maybe because I do like the use of puppets whenever possible.

The audio guide for it is also hilarious in that the only creatures treated worse than livestock about to become food is... puppeteers.

There was a group of thugs blocking off one piece from being seen and charging $20 per person to view it or take pictures of it in this piece

Which, I'd like to think of as a pretty good social commentary about how the art world does hide their works behind buildings that many will never get past. A social and economic divide that many don't have access to museums because of the cost of admission alone. So hey, turnaround is fair play, right?

There's this little video piece that was produced, which was interesting in its own right;

Over all, it seemed like a good time for Banksy in New York. Perhaps he'll show up in L.A. and give us all some love... before it's stripped off the wall and sent to an art auction house. Boys got to get themselves some cheddar, you hear?

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Game of Bones: Wait, Isn't HBO Essentially Porn Already?

Game of Bones: Wait, Isn't HBO Essentially Porn Already?

This is a slight bit delayed in reporting, because porn isn't really what I focus on anyway. At least not writing about it, that is. Besides, October was a busy month with Halloween news, mocking slutty costumes and drinking heavily. Oh yeah, and the Dodgers. But less of them, why not.

In the porn world, it seems like parody is everything. You gotta inject some sex into a story to make it interesting, or something like that. Which is why there's now a Game of Thrones porn parody...

I don't know, a throne like that would clearly only leave Renly as the one happy to sit upon it. Cause hurty is the ass of those who sit on the throne of dongs. I wonder if it's ribbed for Sensai's pleasure.

But that's all getting past the fact that there's a porn parody of Game of Thrones. A show that is in itself softcore porn. And that's putting it lightly. I mean, isn't HBO basically porn already? I think you know the answer to that.

The only difference is that it's not really socially accepted to watch porn with your parents. But man, HBO, now you got yourself some family drama night and talk about that water cooler conversation piece!

In any case, I'm not sure how much more sex you could be wanting if you already watch GoT, but for all of you who were complaining, here you go with some more dirty, cavern filled medieval renfaire style sex scenes! Cause you know nothing about sex, Jon Snow.

Friday, November 1, 2013

The Ghost of Roads Long Past

The Ghost of Roads Long Past

Today being All Hallow's Day and right before Dia De Los Muertos, I figured I would do a new spin on the reflection of the past before I get into a proper Dia De Los Muertos blog post tomorrow. Essentially today is All Saint's day, and I imagine if there was anyone more deserving of Sainthood, it's Huell Howser.

I also imagine that these road side attractions left long ago in the dust of the past would be somewhere he'd be haunting right now in pure amazement to what he found when he was exploring it for all eternity.

In any case, I came across these photos by Photographer Noel Kerns, who went around the Southern California hidden treasures of modern ghost towns and abandoned areas to bring us these amazing photos. He just published a book called "Nightwatch: Painting with Light," in which photos like these of abandoned buildings across the country could be found.

 A Joshua Tree sits next to an abandoned roadhouse / movie set out in the high desert of El Mirage, California

 Clouds move across the sky at an abandoned filling station in the town of Yermo, California, a sleepy little near-ghost town in the Mojave Desert

 The take-away window at an abandoned diner on the west side of Yermo, California, a little community out in the Mojave Desert that's as much ghost town as it is anything else

 The enormous Lockhart General Store sits gutted and abandoned in the virtual ghost town of Lockhart, California. Two stories high and with the roof missing, it looks more like a gymnasium or inner-city playground inside than a retail store

 Abandoned gas station across the CA-58 from Edwards Air Force Base in the Mojave Desert of Southern California
 If Roy's Motel in Amboy, California is only ONE of the most remote, desolate spots along Route 66, it's because 10 miles to the east, the Road Runner's Retreat is THE most remote, desolate spot on the old road
 Snow globes and plush toys long gone, all you find inside the souvenir shop at the abandoned Rock-A-Hoola Waterpark in the Mojave Desert of Southern California these days are a few toppled fixtures and walls covered in slotted pegboard.

 Roy's Motel & Cafe, perhaps the most ionic and isolated of all Route 66 roadside spots, in the tiny ghost town of Amboy, California. While the gas station and cafe were reopened on a limited basis in 2008, the motel remains closed, as restoration would present a fairly major challenge at this point, both physically and economically
 Inside the garage area of an abandoned gas station in Yermo, California

 Ludlow, California is a virtual ghost town in the Mojave Desert, and is home to a number of interesting abandonments, including this gas station on the north side of the old route, with Interstate 40 streaming past in the background.
 The Henning Motel sits abandoned along Route 66 in Newberry Springs, California, as the cause of her demise, Interstate 40, races past in the background

 Abandoned building at the Niland Marina, a forgotten recreational spot along the eastern shore of the Salton Sea in sunny Southern California

 A listing, decaying building sinks back into the mire at the post-apocalyptic-looking Niland Marina, Salton Sea, California

 Yermo is a small community in the Mojave Desert of Southern California. In Spanish, its name means "wilderness," an accurate depiction of what this area of the country is like, save for little towns like this one that dot the more remote areas of the Mojave

 The Mojave Tropico movie set, located near the western edge of the Mojave Desert in Southern California. Part of the massive Alta Wind Energy Center lies in the distance

 Abandoned gas station, Yermo, California.

 Abandoned shack along the main road on the eastern end of Yermo, California, a dying little desert community sustained only by the local Marine Corps Logistics Annex, seen here in the background of this shot

 The entrance to the abandoned Rock-A-Hoola WaterPark out in the Mojave Desert, northeast of Barstow, California

The abandoned Dixie Inn, a tiny diner wedged between the old and new CA-58 highways northwest of Barstow, California. That's the new divided highway streaming past in the background, with Barstow in the distance.

I find these images to be spookily beautiful and captures a piece of that modern exploration that happened in the 50's when people were moving west in far bigger and better cars. These once booming towns in Barstow, Yermo and the Salton Sea sort of represent a time long forgotten. They're, by all means, the most beautiful photos I have seen of the SoCal desert.