MARCH 28, 2020
Today would have been my father's 70th birthday. I'm not sure what that means. Well, I kind of do. Since I was in my late teens and going through, well, when he passed away in 2014, the man would always take some elaborate vacation for about two weeks or so off to lands all over the place. European trips, trips to Mexico. Trips through the American heartland and East Coast. Fishing trips with "friends", which I never really thought he had friends. I mean, I later come to realize that those friends were his other life in terms of a mistress and then a mistress to a mistress.
The man was complicated. The point being, the dude wouldn't show the fuck back up into my world until the second weekend of April. Which was pretty convenient for the sake that my birthday is the first week of April. So growing up there was always a sort of "Oh, we'll be gone for your birthday" mentality to it all. I mean, if I was a bit smarter I would probably have thrown a party at home. But by the time these stuff was happening, I wasn't really of that age anymore. More to the point, I was a fucking nerd. Who the fuck needs to throw a party?
I think one year I just had a couple of friends come over and have a LAN party. Oh man, some crazy shit happening there playing DOOM and Quake. Yuuup. Don't call the cops! Anyhow, I got shit from that one because the neighbors said that there was more cars parked on the street.
The point being that my parents were typically gone for that time and the constant, and I mean constant by-line through it all in the years was "Well, we'll do something when we get back for your birthday" or "We'll go out and get something to eat to celebrate your birthday"
Spoiler alert. That actually never happened. For years my owed birthday outings were just forgotten through time. I really grew numb to it over the years. By the time they got back, they just sort of had to get on with life and it's always been a bit of a sore subject. Mainly because it basically just a constant reminder that I wasn't really top on that priority list.
And I guess I sound like a whiny little bitch right now. I'm not. I learned over the years to do shit on my own for my birthday. I didn't need someone else to praise me for surviving another year around this spinning earth. Some years were bad. Some years were okay. I sure know I fucking carried that sort of nonsense through so many relationships. Then again, that had something to do with the fact that I was told I was difficult to shop for. Which I honestly don't know how that is possible since I really don't ask for anything material more than just experiences and memories of the celebration. And I do have a bit of a downer attitude around the time, but I think it has a huge amount of issues with the whole hurt I have dealt with in the past more than anything.
I'm just vocalizing this. Or writing it out. I'm sure looking back at past post about this in this blog would show similar. I'm not much of a fan of a my birthday. Which, I guess means that this year isn't something I'm set up to properly handle in two weeks, which seems like why I'm writing this.
I'm turning 40. I was a complete piece of shit when I turned 30. I thought I was way over the hill, feeling like my accomplishments weren't all that great and well, not having much of a clue where I was heading in all that sort of direction. Ha. If I could see my 30's self again. I feel like a majority of it was wasted in a relationship where I didn't matter, in hindsight.
Originally I had planned for this birthday to be pretty amazing. I had a full week of fun activities that I had planned and lined up perfectly like a Lunar eclipse. Now my plans have completely been flushed down the drain and much like a lunar eclipse, it's not blocked by bigger things like a pandemic. I was going to go to Vegas for Viva Las Vegas, which is postponed till next year. I had tickets to a Transformers cover band. I had tiki plans and Wonder Con was that very weekend. Suffice to say, the whole week was going to be pretty packed and pretty amazing. Right now it's looking like.... that's not going to be anywhere near that.
I'll be in isolation socially distancing, so I don't even know if I'll even see anyone. Which just seems rough on its own. I... well, I'm not dead. Shit, did I just jinx myself? Well, I'm not dead yet as of this writing, so I guess that's something to go on. But a lot of what I had hoped would be "my year".... yeah, that shit went out the window. I'm sort of laughing right now because otherwise I'd be in tears.
I just generally hate the "we'll do something later" mentality when it comes to my birthday because it's a huge triggering word. I explained above why. I just don't have faith in it anymore and when it's told to me... then, well, it just gives me flash backs and I don't know how to process it. A lot of bad memories and a lot of reinforced negatively with that. Yes, it's a nice thought.... but my day has come and gone plenty of times and I just don't want to hear it. If it's forgotten, then at least it's forgotten. But to be something that... well, is postponed or kicked down the road. That hurts more than I'd care to express.
And I'll be 40. This isn't the worse. I've embraced my age for a bit now after my long term relationship has fizzled. I thought this year would be the year that I kicked things off to high gear in terms of traveling. And honestly, I guess that still can very much happen later in the year with the insanely low rates that are happening with the airlines, but man, this pandemic is getting scary and I feel like a bit of a piece of shit selfishly thinking about my potentially forgotten birthday while the death count for COVID-19 is currently in the 1,600's and the risk and invisible killer is out there and I have no clue until 14 days from now if I have caught it in my last trip out buying groceries for myself or my mother. Even more conflicting is that in less than that countdown to see if I'm infected from today's outings, I'll be 40.
Yeah, this year isn't really the best and I'm wondering when the next shoes will drop and our world is far more of a stranger compared to what it should have been.
I guess, Happy Birthday, Pop.
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
TRUMP CHECK
TRUMP CHECK
Remember how there were idiots who called the Obama phone program Obama phones? I guess we should get ready for them to roll out a new term. the Trump bail out is going to happen. The dollar amount, well, it's around 1k right for each American adult, though they're trying to cater that to those lower income because, yeah, it would be pointless to just give 1k to everyone if those who don't need it just sit on it.
The whole purpose of the money is simple, they give you the money so that you can spend it and generate more movement in the economy. You are basically using the government's money to try to better your situation and in turn, it betters the struggling business.
Which makes me ask one question - if every place is closed, laid off employees already and most of all, you can't go to any bars and restaurants are only to-go and have no wait staff... Then who the fuck is this money going to go to? Most of all, how are you going to spend it if we're already in the level where things are shutting down because they haven't had the wheels greased.
You can't stimulate an economy if it's currently dead and workers aren't needed. Shit, I have a friend who is a theater manager and he's laid off for the foreseeable future. How is this check going to help him much other than to pay his rent. There's really a fatal flaw in this mythical magic bullet. No point in getting money if you can't spend it on anything.
We are, in the moment, a full on blown financial collapse. We are not even to the 2008 recession. We smoked past that and now we're straight up landing in the great depression. Also, Payroll tax cuts mean shit if you don't collect a paycheck. So please, that's just Trump trying to dismantle "entitlements" next year with the excuse that there's money to pay for it since that is where your payroll taxes end up.
Remember how there were idiots who called the Obama phone program Obama phones? I guess we should get ready for them to roll out a new term. the Trump bail out is going to happen. The dollar amount, well, it's around 1k right for each American adult, though they're trying to cater that to those lower income because, yeah, it would be pointless to just give 1k to everyone if those who don't need it just sit on it.
The whole purpose of the money is simple, they give you the money so that you can spend it and generate more movement in the economy. You are basically using the government's money to try to better your situation and in turn, it betters the struggling business.
Which makes me ask one question - if every place is closed, laid off employees already and most of all, you can't go to any bars and restaurants are only to-go and have no wait staff... Then who the fuck is this money going to go to? Most of all, how are you going to spend it if we're already in the level where things are shutting down because they haven't had the wheels greased.
You can't stimulate an economy if it's currently dead and workers aren't needed. Shit, I have a friend who is a theater manager and he's laid off for the foreseeable future. How is this check going to help him much other than to pay his rent. There's really a fatal flaw in this mythical magic bullet. No point in getting money if you can't spend it on anything.
We are, in the moment, a full on blown financial collapse. We are not even to the 2008 recession. We smoked past that and now we're straight up landing in the great depression. Also, Payroll tax cuts mean shit if you don't collect a paycheck. So please, that's just Trump trying to dismantle "entitlements" next year with the excuse that there's money to pay for it since that is where your payroll taxes end up.
THE BACK OF THE BUS
THE BACK OF THE BUS
The world is completely different now. I mean, after this massive COVID-19 Situation, it's a 9/11 all over again and I'm wondering if we can ever go back to the old world of being okay with standing less than six feet apart from one another. And we're certainly not through this situation currently anyway. We still have a lot of things to get through before that, despite what the moron holding pressers is mouthing off about.
I'm still confused on how the President could even think that "the cure isn't worse than the sickness" in terms of getting back to a functioning economy and pushing to roll back on the policies of safer inside/in place or whatever it's called in terms of trying to combat this corona virus situation.
I had thought that Los Angeles was on track to defying any potential of rolling back that, but then I see one crazy thing... D.A.S.H. buses are still running on time, and more than that, they're running for free.
I get that people need to work, and many need them to get around in basic social life, but China beat this by one major factor, shutting everything fucking down. trains and buses are, for all intent and purpose, death traps. COVID-19 breading grounds. If the folks in charge are chastising people going to the beach or parks with heavy traffic, then why the hell aren't you shutting these petri-dishes down at once?
Those who still need to work are more likely to go in to work regardless of their health status. And that's not their fault. It's the society that you built up. One where folks are so close to the edge and barely making it are forced to work healthy or sick. The complete lack of reform on paid sick leave and the fact that these jobs are often the bottom of the barrel and society has deemed them to be not worthy of decent pay regardless of this notion that they should still be doing it in the face of a global fucking pandemic, just shows that it's the system that failed all of us.
But I would not be caught dead in one of these buses. The amount of turn around by folks and germs should make sure that the bus driver is getting hazard pay. I'm goddamn serious. Why the hell would we keep running the metro subway or buses at all?
And you want to help those who don't have the means to get around? Then make it so that they call a number and get supplies delivered to them on the city's dime. Do what China did. And I can't believe that I just typed that sentence. But fucking do it. Deliver those supplies and give them a goddamn test. That's how we beat this. That's the only way we curb the outbreak. You grow a goddamn heart and help those that you, in spite of a fucking global pandemic, expect to go to work.
We crashed the economy for a good reason. To stop and preserve the future. This concept of "well, we can make the buses free!" just makes me wonder if you want the poor to get sick and die off.
FUCK!
Okay, I'm just really upset by this. It seems like a nice idea, but it's dirty. And I'm tired of the minorities getting the shit end of the stick. This screams plague blankets to the Native Americans.
There's better ways to help out those who need the help. But as it's clear in Washington, the concern is far more important for the damn CEO's and corporations than it will ever be for those who actually need a bail out and helping hand. With this notion that they just have to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps in a rigged system where they can't ever pray to have a leveled playing field.
Who is it that picks the fruits and veggies that you see still in grocery stores that are picked over. Who is it that helps stock those shelves over night, all night long, just so you can pick them clean in the morning.
So yeah, take that free bus ride filled with the toxic mix of who knows what germs that you have advised to stand 6 feet away from one another and do better. You know you can. And considering the way the system has treated them, they damn well deserve to be treated better.
The world is completely different now. I mean, after this massive COVID-19 Situation, it's a 9/11 all over again and I'm wondering if we can ever go back to the old world of being okay with standing less than six feet apart from one another. And we're certainly not through this situation currently anyway. We still have a lot of things to get through before that, despite what the moron holding pressers is mouthing off about.
I'm still confused on how the President could even think that "the cure isn't worse than the sickness" in terms of getting back to a functioning economy and pushing to roll back on the policies of safer inside/in place or whatever it's called in terms of trying to combat this corona virus situation.
I had thought that Los Angeles was on track to defying any potential of rolling back that, but then I see one crazy thing... D.A.S.H. buses are still running on time, and more than that, they're running for free.
The Los Angeles Department of Transportation announced Monday that its DASH bus service will provide free rides on all its routes in response to the outbreak of the novel coronavirus.
Riders are asked to board buses from the back in order to maintain social distancing between drivers and themselves. The front door will remain available to people who use wheelchairs and need to access the ramp.
I get that people need to work, and many need them to get around in basic social life, but China beat this by one major factor, shutting everything fucking down. trains and buses are, for all intent and purpose, death traps. COVID-19 breading grounds. If the folks in charge are chastising people going to the beach or parks with heavy traffic, then why the hell aren't you shutting these petri-dishes down at once?
Those who still need to work are more likely to go in to work regardless of their health status. And that's not their fault. It's the society that you built up. One where folks are so close to the edge and barely making it are forced to work healthy or sick. The complete lack of reform on paid sick leave and the fact that these jobs are often the bottom of the barrel and society has deemed them to be not worthy of decent pay regardless of this notion that they should still be doing it in the face of a global fucking pandemic, just shows that it's the system that failed all of us.
But I would not be caught dead in one of these buses. The amount of turn around by folks and germs should make sure that the bus driver is getting hazard pay. I'm goddamn serious. Why the hell would we keep running the metro subway or buses at all?
And you want to help those who don't have the means to get around? Then make it so that they call a number and get supplies delivered to them on the city's dime. Do what China did. And I can't believe that I just typed that sentence. But fucking do it. Deliver those supplies and give them a goddamn test. That's how we beat this. That's the only way we curb the outbreak. You grow a goddamn heart and help those that you, in spite of a fucking global pandemic, expect to go to work.
We crashed the economy for a good reason. To stop and preserve the future. This concept of "well, we can make the buses free!" just makes me wonder if you want the poor to get sick and die off.
FUCK!
Okay, I'm just really upset by this. It seems like a nice idea, but it's dirty. And I'm tired of the minorities getting the shit end of the stick. This screams plague blankets to the Native Americans.
There's better ways to help out those who need the help. But as it's clear in Washington, the concern is far more important for the damn CEO's and corporations than it will ever be for those who actually need a bail out and helping hand. With this notion that they just have to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps in a rigged system where they can't ever pray to have a leveled playing field.
Who is it that picks the fruits and veggies that you see still in grocery stores that are picked over. Who is it that helps stock those shelves over night, all night long, just so you can pick them clean in the morning.
So yeah, take that free bus ride filled with the toxic mix of who knows what germs that you have advised to stand 6 feet away from one another and do better. You know you can. And considering the way the system has treated them, they damn well deserve to be treated better.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
PAYROLL TAXES AND GLOBAL PANDEMIC
PAYROLL TAXES AND GLOBAL PANDEMIC
In a series of topics about the new recession, here's a lot of my thoughts on the latest situation given the global pandemic. They are pushing to do away with the payroll taxes for the rest of the year. The issue is that Payroll taxes are taxes that
So if they do away with payroll taxes, guess what, Medicare and social programs like social security suddenly will not be funded. Which makes it an easier target to cut "entitlement" programs. Also, can we move away accepting the term "Entitlement programs". That makes it sound
Republican Sen. Lamar Alexander blocked the attempt by Senate Democrats to require employers to provide paid 14 day paid sick leave during this situation. Which is a pretty big deal. It's actually the best indication of the class divide. In this gig heavy economy, many can't just take two weeks off to self-quarantine themselves. A lot of them are barely making ends meet in terms of paychecks.
If anything, the sign of the economical status is pretty clear who can and can't just not show up to work for a given amount of time. Which does make a world of a difference to containing the virus. If you're sick, you need to stay home. But because you can't afford it, you are then putting a lot of folks at risk.
What also seems like the case is that if they did move forward with this 14 day paid sick leave then the President's attempt to encourage congress to get rid of the payroll tax would have been a moot one. The issue there is that a 0% Payroll tax does something that fucks everyone over in the long haul.
The bigger issue is that a Payroll tax cut doesn't do anything for those who lose their jobs, have jobs canceled or just flat out can't go in to work because they're doing the right thing in self-quarantine themselves for two weeks. Because 0% of a paycheck you never get because you didn't work it still means you saved $0. Payroll tax cuts don't help those who don't have a job at all.
A whole lot of jobs got laid off in the last week and in the weeks to come, a whole lot more will happen. None of those will jobs and those people who are now unemployed will get any benefit from this whole thing. The only winners is the corporations. So I'd rather we not do that, but it's bound to happen and in another year or two when they argue that that social security is so vastly under funded, it's because we got rid of the payroll taxes.
In a series of topics about the new recession, here's a lot of my thoughts on the latest situation given the global pandemic. They are pushing to do away with the payroll taxes for the rest of the year. The issue is that Payroll taxes are taxes that
So if they do away with payroll taxes, guess what, Medicare and social programs like social security suddenly will not be funded. Which makes it an easier target to cut "entitlement" programs. Also, can we move away accepting the term "Entitlement programs". That makes it sound
Republican Sen. Lamar Alexander blocked the attempt by Senate Democrats to require employers to provide paid 14 day paid sick leave during this situation. Which is a pretty big deal. It's actually the best indication of the class divide. In this gig heavy economy, many can't just take two weeks off to self-quarantine themselves. A lot of them are barely making ends meet in terms of paychecks.
If anything, the sign of the economical status is pretty clear who can and can't just not show up to work for a given amount of time. Which does make a world of a difference to containing the virus. If you're sick, you need to stay home. But because you can't afford it, you are then putting a lot of folks at risk.
What also seems like the case is that if they did move forward with this 14 day paid sick leave then the President's attempt to encourage congress to get rid of the payroll tax would have been a moot one. The issue there is that a 0% Payroll tax does something that fucks everyone over in the long haul.
The bigger issue is that a Payroll tax cut doesn't do anything for those who lose their jobs, have jobs canceled or just flat out can't go in to work because they're doing the right thing in self-quarantine themselves for two weeks. Because 0% of a paycheck you never get because you didn't work it still means you saved $0. Payroll tax cuts don't help those who don't have a job at all.
A whole lot of jobs got laid off in the last week and in the weeks to come, a whole lot more will happen. None of those will jobs and those people who are now unemployed will get any benefit from this whole thing. The only winners is the corporations. So I'd rather we not do that, but it's bound to happen and in another year or two when they argue that that social security is so vastly under funded, it's because we got rid of the payroll taxes.
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
HALT RENT AT ONCE
HALT RENT AT ONCE
With COVID19 out there wrecking shit left and right, there has been a Change.org petition to hault rent, mortgage and utility bills. Here's the wording;
As both a renter and a landlord, I paid rent the other day to my landlord. I paid that rent in part with the rent that I got from my tenant on the property I own. If there was a solid hold on rent owed to your landlord, then... well, you can see that we're not all corporations and banks.
Banks, as well, have been hit hard, especially with the lack of confidence in the markets, they need that money from their mortgage owners paying for them. This is the fault of capitalism. We have been pushed to the edge in the working class and the gig economy was basically that last thread holding folks away from the edge of complete poverty.
We knew this. We kept on saying this. A lot of small businesses will go under because of this. And yeah, it sucks you can't make rent because the economy just took a huge fall. The line about the gofundme's for medical help is comical. I mean, comical in the sense that go fund me's have been the go-to answer in our health care system for so many under employeed and those just barely making it.
It just goes to show that universal healthcare is a must and needs to happen. Which is why voting for Biden, in the short term, is the right thing, but not really doing much for progression since it puts us still on the corporate whipping boy status. Not as bad as how much Trump is corporations over people, but ya know, it's still the same sort of shit.
Anyhow, back to not paying rent.... I mean, we need to just take a moment and realize that the economy is fucked right now because commerce is on hold. This is a key example about "trickle down economy" Rich people still are hoarding the money, just like your average person is hoarding toilet paper. But they're not spending it. In fact, they're pulling it out of the stock market and putting it under a pillow. Flat out, this is exactly what is happening and because the rich aren't going out paying the wait staff, the parking attendants, the security guards... so thus, there's no circulation of the currency.
You can't just say "well then, I guess we shouldn't be forced to pay rent." Because that rent is someone else's life line at surviving in the given situation. Without that money, things don't move for them. Yeah, you can probably have the utilities services not get their bills, but how the fuck do you think they pay their employees? It's easier for the city to cut them some sort of check for the situation, but again, money needs to change hands from the top in order for the bottom to be able to survive. And ultimately that's what the problem with capitalism.
So the next time you talk shit about socialism, realize that there's just the same level of fucking problems when it comes to this consumerism capitalistic society. It is funny that when the chips fall and society is about the crumble, everyone is a fucking fan of socialism despite 60 years of the U.S. talking shit about it. This change petition is meaningless. Stop acting for a moratorium on your daily bills being due. The best that can happen is that you don't get your stuff turned off, but that just means that you're now behind the eight ball in the future in terms of your bills Because one way or another, they're going to get their money some how.
So do you want to just dig that hole deeper? We're all financially insecure and putting your bills on hold doesn't help that. Fucking with the system and creating more class equality is the only way to right this ship because it's clear we're sinking as a whole. Those who are on the edge of poverty are just going to fall in further, those middle class will just be the next low income class.
This is pretty bleak, I know. It's tough times and being negative on this isn't the best, but we need to have some reality slapped into us. This is not the way. Breaking the chains. demanding far more income inequality is the only way. You being pissed some hoarding of toilet paper happens to completely gloss over that 1% is hoarding the majority of the wealth is the only way we change this shit.
With COVID19 out there wrecking shit left and right, there has been a Change.org petition to hault rent, mortgage and utility bills. Here's the wording;
Look, while I'm all for helping one another, this seems pretty broad and... well, not really based on reality.With the onset of COVID-19 in the United States, many thousands of workers have become temporarily displaced due to closures relating to the now global pandemic. A lot of workers who have been affected are gig workers and workers who rely on tips to earn an income. Nightclubs, theaters, bars, restaurants, and other destination-type venues are being hit the hardest right now, and most of us are wondering how we are going to pay rent, as we see the government passing legislation to bail out industries with our tax dollars. We need some assistance too!
I am proposing that the state of California institutes a hold on all rent and mortgage payments, payments for utilities, and put a moratorium on evictions until the threat of COVID-19 has been eradicated. It is simply unAmerican for us to live in fear of not being able to pay rent and to be evicted during a global pandemic that has been exacerbated by the inaction of our leaders in a country where we need to create gofundmes to subsidize our medical expenses.
As both a renter and a landlord, I paid rent the other day to my landlord. I paid that rent in part with the rent that I got from my tenant on the property I own. If there was a solid hold on rent owed to your landlord, then... well, you can see that we're not all corporations and banks.
Banks, as well, have been hit hard, especially with the lack of confidence in the markets, they need that money from their mortgage owners paying for them. This is the fault of capitalism. We have been pushed to the edge in the working class and the gig economy was basically that last thread holding folks away from the edge of complete poverty.
We knew this. We kept on saying this. A lot of small businesses will go under because of this. And yeah, it sucks you can't make rent because the economy just took a huge fall. The line about the gofundme's for medical help is comical. I mean, comical in the sense that go fund me's have been the go-to answer in our health care system for so many under employeed and those just barely making it.
It just goes to show that universal healthcare is a must and needs to happen. Which is why voting for Biden, in the short term, is the right thing, but not really doing much for progression since it puts us still on the corporate whipping boy status. Not as bad as how much Trump is corporations over people, but ya know, it's still the same sort of shit.
Anyhow, back to not paying rent.... I mean, we need to just take a moment and realize that the economy is fucked right now because commerce is on hold. This is a key example about "trickle down economy" Rich people still are hoarding the money, just like your average person is hoarding toilet paper. But they're not spending it. In fact, they're pulling it out of the stock market and putting it under a pillow. Flat out, this is exactly what is happening and because the rich aren't going out paying the wait staff, the parking attendants, the security guards... so thus, there's no circulation of the currency.
You can't just say "well then, I guess we shouldn't be forced to pay rent." Because that rent is someone else's life line at surviving in the given situation. Without that money, things don't move for them. Yeah, you can probably have the utilities services not get their bills, but how the fuck do you think they pay their employees? It's easier for the city to cut them some sort of check for the situation, but again, money needs to change hands from the top in order for the bottom to be able to survive. And ultimately that's what the problem with capitalism.
So the next time you talk shit about socialism, realize that there's just the same level of fucking problems when it comes to this consumerism capitalistic society. It is funny that when the chips fall and society is about the crumble, everyone is a fucking fan of socialism despite 60 years of the U.S. talking shit about it. This change petition is meaningless. Stop acting for a moratorium on your daily bills being due. The best that can happen is that you don't get your stuff turned off, but that just means that you're now behind the eight ball in the future in terms of your bills Because one way or another, they're going to get their money some how.
So do you want to just dig that hole deeper? We're all financially insecure and putting your bills on hold doesn't help that. Fucking with the system and creating more class equality is the only way to right this ship because it's clear we're sinking as a whole. Those who are on the edge of poverty are just going to fall in further, those middle class will just be the next low income class.
This is pretty bleak, I know. It's tough times and being negative on this isn't the best, but we need to have some reality slapped into us. This is not the way. Breaking the chains. demanding far more income inequality is the only way. You being pissed some hoarding of toilet paper happens to completely gloss over that 1% is hoarding the majority of the wealth is the only way we change this shit.
Thursday, March 5, 2020
WHERE IS MY MIND?
WHERE IS MY MIND?
I will fully admit, I was one of those 20 year old pieces of shit that, at the release of the film, I liked Fight Club and found it far more compelling for all the wrong reasons. I mean, I was one of those who would have been hooked line and sinker into the world of being a project mayhem space monkey ready to be shot into fucking space. Completely sold on this anti-Ikea catalog world ready to blow up shit and get Robert Palson killed doing stupid shit like vandalizing billboards with unhelpful advice like putting motor oil on your lawn.
I was that little shit, that was full on willing to accept that men shouldn't be the ideological visual representation of Brad Pitt 20 years ago, let alone full on wanting to be him 20 years later in such films like Once Upon A Time in Hollywood. Yeah, is that really what a man looks like? Well, shit, of course it isn't. That's what a man looks like when he has nothing but time to train in a gym with four different trainers on a Hollywood film stipend to get him where the picture wants him to be.
I bought into the anti-capitalistic view point completely and well, am I really a better person for it today? I'd say... yes. You see, I am Jack's sense of raging confusion. I loved that film, even though it had a sort of slap to the face message that really was a sort of mocking of all who ate into it.
Then we get to the ending. Wrapping it all up with the Pixies? Come on. That's some dirty pool. Completely unfair. I asked myself where is my mind once the credits came up so many times. And pushing this destructive anarchist sort of message and tying it off with the bow that is this concept of taking down the credit companies, creating a social collopse of all that keeps civilization sort of running in some sort of order?
Yeah - I fully ate up lines like "I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not." And you know what, it's true. In Tyler we trust. I so wanted to be that. I wanted to have the freedom of not giving two shits and saying the shit he was spouting. Tyler spoke for me. And you know what, that's the beauty of that book and film. It really is. That it wanted you to be such a piece of shit toxic thing and fully embrace that part of yourself.
20 years later I can see how I am the person I am because of that film. The soundtrack was amazing by the dust brothers. The film pushed the anti-corporate consumerism bullshit message that I still struggle with today. The message in itself is still very relevant. So much so that USA made Mr. Robot, which the first season seemed like just a televised version of Fight Club.
But Project Mayhem, much like in Mr. Robot, was still there. And it was still just a bunch of fucking idiots trying to stick it to society that rejected them with a "Blow up the civilization so that men can be real men again!" sort of mentality. And ultimately that's not something folks understand in their first viewing of Fight Club or their first reading of the book, though the book has a lot more self help quirks to it. By the end of the film, Project Mayhem seems like nothing more than literal skinheads doing some social chaos.
And while the whole concept of disaffection with the modern world was something that could be understandable and relatable. Especially to someone in their late teens and early 20's with their sort of anarchist tendencies, the fact is that anyone who went on with cheering for project mayhem, or more so, even going home after the film and running "fight clubs" for themselves would be considered Incel pieces of shit in today's day and age.
But hey, you met me at a really strange time in my life, isn't that the cute line. Look, I know all this about the film... because Tyler knows this.
In any case, I thought this sort of mentality was amazing at that young age, and then ten years later I liked Fight Club for other reasons that were completely different from when I first saw it ten years previously. Not in the project mayhem sort of way, but because I felt like Jack at work. Just going in day in and day out talking about the Corporations naming everything. I embraced the notion that Project Mayhem folks were fools for eating in to it all and just thought that it whole tearing down society was a bit much, but I could feel above it all. Especially flipping through catalogs defining myself through defining my space.
I mean, it didn't help that at that point I wasn't sleeping much. Though, I guess that's a through line to most of my life - not sleeping much at all. Feeling like I need sleep but not sleeping. Hell, as I write this right now it's currently 4am. This is just the way it is with me. I often get the most creative juices flowing at the odd hours of the night.
Let me tell you about young me.You see I never really liked sleeping. I thought I could survive off little amounts of sleep - And in many ways I did. I still survive off little sleep even though it has a huge amount of negative aspects. I guess I just didn't want to miss what was happening and I could sleep when I'm dead. Which, I guess could be a lot sooner because of this choice to not sleep as much. I could also just fall asleep anywhere. I mean, Any...where. I could knock out really fast. But that was just me and I guess after a while of not really sleeping great, your body decides if you are going to go to sleep, you best not just piss time away NOT actually sleeping.
Another appealing aspect of the film was that I felt like I was Jack. After three pitchers of beer I still couldn't ask. Hell, to some degree I still can't ask. But that aspect of having confidence and being able to ask really appealed to me. Anyhow,
My place was literally Paper Street residence. Run down to hell. Doors not locking, the place looking like it was ready to get torn down. I bought my place from my pops as it was a project he long since gave up on, I guess you could say I felt for the place. Sort of like how he gave up on the project that was being a father to me. In any event, that place is now my building that is about to be done. So, I really can relate to the character just surviving in what is a run down piece of fucking shit. And turning it into something crazy, or at least something special and unique and actually beautiful. Especially from that garbage.
Anyhow, I'm getting off topic. I mean, I still fiddle with the notion that self improvement is masturbation and that self destruction, on the other hand.... Well, I mean, again, the whole concept of Fight Club has been one that I have enjoyed for the last two decades for ever changing reasons. I mean, I'll never look like what they were critical about, but shit, then they turned into that very criticized thing. You can't tell me Brad Pitt wasn't a shredded beast and the exact same thing they were critical about - I mean, that was exactly the point.
Ultimately the commentary that Fight Club does on consumerism and buying into social norms and then saying fuck it to all is in itself buying into a social norm. I have so much respect for the source material and what it does in the grand scheme of things because it does work well on so many different levels. And ultimately, I guess that makes a perfect story. The ability to touch you on so many different levels and through so many different lenses.
I will fully admit, I was one of those 20 year old pieces of shit that, at the release of the film, I liked Fight Club and found it far more compelling for all the wrong reasons. I mean, I was one of those who would have been hooked line and sinker into the world of being a project mayhem space monkey ready to be shot into fucking space. Completely sold on this anti-Ikea catalog world ready to blow up shit and get Robert Palson killed doing stupid shit like vandalizing billboards with unhelpful advice like putting motor oil on your lawn.
I was that little shit, that was full on willing to accept that men shouldn't be the ideological visual representation of Brad Pitt 20 years ago, let alone full on wanting to be him 20 years later in such films like Once Upon A Time in Hollywood. Yeah, is that really what a man looks like? Well, shit, of course it isn't. That's what a man looks like when he has nothing but time to train in a gym with four different trainers on a Hollywood film stipend to get him where the picture wants him to be.
I bought into the anti-capitalistic view point completely and well, am I really a better person for it today? I'd say... yes. You see, I am Jack's sense of raging confusion. I loved that film, even though it had a sort of slap to the face message that really was a sort of mocking of all who ate into it.
Then we get to the ending. Wrapping it all up with the Pixies? Come on. That's some dirty pool. Completely unfair. I asked myself where is my mind once the credits came up so many times. And pushing this destructive anarchist sort of message and tying it off with the bow that is this concept of taking down the credit companies, creating a social collopse of all that keeps civilization sort of running in some sort of order?
Yeah - I fully ate up lines like "I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not." And you know what, it's true. In Tyler we trust. I so wanted to be that. I wanted to have the freedom of not giving two shits and saying the shit he was spouting. Tyler spoke for me. And you know what, that's the beauty of that book and film. It really is. That it wanted you to be such a piece of shit toxic thing and fully embrace that part of yourself.
20 years later I can see how I am the person I am because of that film. The soundtrack was amazing by the dust brothers. The film pushed the anti-corporate consumerism bullshit message that I still struggle with today. The message in itself is still very relevant. So much so that USA made Mr. Robot, which the first season seemed like just a televised version of Fight Club.
But Project Mayhem, much like in Mr. Robot, was still there. And it was still just a bunch of fucking idiots trying to stick it to society that rejected them with a "Blow up the civilization so that men can be real men again!" sort of mentality. And ultimately that's not something folks understand in their first viewing of Fight Club or their first reading of the book, though the book has a lot more self help quirks to it. By the end of the film, Project Mayhem seems like nothing more than literal skinheads doing some social chaos.
And while the whole concept of disaffection with the modern world was something that could be understandable and relatable. Especially to someone in their late teens and early 20's with their sort of anarchist tendencies, the fact is that anyone who went on with cheering for project mayhem, or more so, even going home after the film and running "fight clubs" for themselves would be considered Incel pieces of shit in today's day and age.
But hey, you met me at a really strange time in my life, isn't that the cute line. Look, I know all this about the film... because Tyler knows this.
In any case, I thought this sort of mentality was amazing at that young age, and then ten years later I liked Fight Club for other reasons that were completely different from when I first saw it ten years previously. Not in the project mayhem sort of way, but because I felt like Jack at work. Just going in day in and day out talking about the Corporations naming everything. I embraced the notion that Project Mayhem folks were fools for eating in to it all and just thought that it whole tearing down society was a bit much, but I could feel above it all. Especially flipping through catalogs defining myself through defining my space.
I mean, it didn't help that at that point I wasn't sleeping much. Though, I guess that's a through line to most of my life - not sleeping much at all. Feeling like I need sleep but not sleeping. Hell, as I write this right now it's currently 4am. This is just the way it is with me. I often get the most creative juices flowing at the odd hours of the night.
Let me tell you about young me.You see I never really liked sleeping. I thought I could survive off little amounts of sleep - And in many ways I did. I still survive off little sleep even though it has a huge amount of negative aspects. I guess I just didn't want to miss what was happening and I could sleep when I'm dead. Which, I guess could be a lot sooner because of this choice to not sleep as much. I could also just fall asleep anywhere. I mean, Any...where. I could knock out really fast. But that was just me and I guess after a while of not really sleeping great, your body decides if you are going to go to sleep, you best not just piss time away NOT actually sleeping.
Another appealing aspect of the film was that I felt like I was Jack. After three pitchers of beer I still couldn't ask. Hell, to some degree I still can't ask. But that aspect of having confidence and being able to ask really appealed to me. Anyhow,
My place was literally Paper Street residence. Run down to hell. Doors not locking, the place looking like it was ready to get torn down. I bought my place from my pops as it was a project he long since gave up on, I guess you could say I felt for the place. Sort of like how he gave up on the project that was being a father to me. In any event, that place is now my building that is about to be done. So, I really can relate to the character just surviving in what is a run down piece of fucking shit. And turning it into something crazy, or at least something special and unique and actually beautiful. Especially from that garbage.
Anyhow, I'm getting off topic. I mean, I still fiddle with the notion that self improvement is masturbation and that self destruction, on the other hand.... Well, I mean, again, the whole concept of Fight Club has been one that I have enjoyed for the last two decades for ever changing reasons. I mean, I'll never look like what they were critical about, but shit, then they turned into that very criticized thing. You can't tell me Brad Pitt wasn't a shredded beast and the exact same thing they were critical about - I mean, that was exactly the point.
Ultimately the commentary that Fight Club does on consumerism and buying into social norms and then saying fuck it to all is in itself buying into a social norm. I have so much respect for the source material and what it does in the grand scheme of things because it does work well on so many different levels. And ultimately, I guess that makes a perfect story. The ability to touch you on so many different levels and through so many different lenses.
Wednesday, March 4, 2020
NEVER COUNT OUT OL' DIAMOND JOE
NEVER COUNT OUT OL' DIAMOND JOE
One of the best things about the Obama administration wasn't the hope and change that we quickly figured out wasn't coming. No, it was the Onion articles about Joe Fucking Biden. From pieces where it showed a photoshopped shirtless Joe Biden washing a 1970's Ford Trans am on the White House lawn to getting thrown out of a moving car after a long night of gambling in some basement illegal Chinese card joint.
Yeah, this sarcastic take on the man was what I loved. What I didn't love was how out fucking dated and out of tune Joe actually was. He's that elderly person in your family who still thinks he's in his youth and lets the good times roll. And not to mention how fucking touchy he is. He's that creepy uncle who just comes from behind you and starts giving you the most illness inducing shoulder massage that makes you just freak out. He's the family member who everyone assumes is just going to get arrested for something pervy and often wonder how it is he got himself in to those situations.
Anyhow, a week ago today the man's Presidential hope was pretty slim to none. He wasn't even hitting the meter at polling and the field of democratic potentials was large. That all changed the other night before Super Tuesday when a few of his moderate rivals decided to not only back out but also endorse him. It was pretty clear what was happening - If they stayed in the race then the votes would be spread out and Bernie Sanders would still be pulling ahead. But with the field narrowed, Biden collected the majority of those fallen candidates votes.
Well Super Tuesday happened and while Bernie Sanders took California and held his own, Biden pulled a huge amount of catch up to now be call the comeback kid. You know, never mind the fact that if those other candidates remained in, Biden would still be way far back in the pack. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was less of a come back and more of a pity Democratic moderate hail Mary just to cut off Bernie Sanders off at the knees.
Mind you, I'm not a Bernie bro by any means. In fact, most feel the Bern type of people annoy the piss out of me. But I do think fair is fair and there's no reason why anyone should be propping up Biden. He's a very boring Candidate. Perhaps if this was him jumping in during the 2016 election I would have been more excited to continue that Obama Administration meritocracy. But he didn't and Hillary stepped up to the plate and failed in getting us across home plate again.
So to me, Biden is boring as fuck and a bit senile. Which, I mean, given Reagan's history, I don't think that a senile President isn't really THAT much of a new thing. But it doesn't inspire hope and I have to wonder if Biden can even beat Trump, given how much Trump supporters are annoying as fuck. Biden doesn't inspire new hope. He just seems like the same ol' shit that won't provide more health services to those who need them the most. Nor would he actually change the status quo as much as Bernie would attempt to. On the flip side, I don't know if Bernie could beat Trump either.
It seems that everyone is trying to find their perfect candidate instead of just realizing that this isn't dating, nor should you be that picky in dating either. But yeah, it seems like we want the perfect person to vote for when all you need is someone who won't fucking put kids in cages.
Still, stop trying to spin this shit as if Biden is some sort of golden child and isn't just the DNC's choice for President as they fear more than anything, that a Sander's ticket wouldn't have the same appeal to those and would potentially lose to Trump. And again, I still don't think a Biden ticket will do much to really compel those, especially those Bernie followers who would be completely disenfranchised and completely fucked over by the democratic party for a second time to come out and vote for a lesser evil than Trump. They have principles and what not.
Which is what I'm wondering about this whole mess. I don't know how this election will go or the viability of either candidate. Because if it's Bernie, then I'm sure the more moderate democrats will not want to vote for Bernie and those stuck in their more moderate views as a democrat will not want a socialist on paper to be in their park, because that's just the way it is in America this day and age. Which, I mean, fuck. That sucks. Bernie is not a communist socialist. He's not Mother Russia in the 80's and socialism isn't just gutting the capitalism and consumerism that is the rock that this whole nation is built upon.
Besides, Bernie is tough. He's a tough stuck in his ways sort of candidate and politician. Most of all, his views are a little extreme for some of those career politicians. But, if you just want to promote a boring candidate in Joe Biden, who seems like just a slightly more progressive old senile white politician who could easily get lumped into the same level of Trump. I mean, only far less corrupt. But Biden just seems like the same ol' no change from the pre-Trump era. We're just rolling back the clock a little and we shouldn't have been in this position of looking at those no real healthcare option past with rose colored glasses. We should be doing a lot better, goddamn it.
Oh well, I'm still Anyone but Trump in my vote, but I just hate this narrative that Biden is anything but a boring under performing candidate who had to be propped up by the DNC to polish this turd of a candidate.
One of the best things about the Obama administration wasn't the hope and change that we quickly figured out wasn't coming. No, it was the Onion articles about Joe Fucking Biden. From pieces where it showed a photoshopped shirtless Joe Biden washing a 1970's Ford Trans am on the White House lawn to getting thrown out of a moving car after a long night of gambling in some basement illegal Chinese card joint.
Yeah, this sarcastic take on the man was what I loved. What I didn't love was how out fucking dated and out of tune Joe actually was. He's that elderly person in your family who still thinks he's in his youth and lets the good times roll. And not to mention how fucking touchy he is. He's that creepy uncle who just comes from behind you and starts giving you the most illness inducing shoulder massage that makes you just freak out. He's the family member who everyone assumes is just going to get arrested for something pervy and often wonder how it is he got himself in to those situations.
Anyhow, a week ago today the man's Presidential hope was pretty slim to none. He wasn't even hitting the meter at polling and the field of democratic potentials was large. That all changed the other night before Super Tuesday when a few of his moderate rivals decided to not only back out but also endorse him. It was pretty clear what was happening - If they stayed in the race then the votes would be spread out and Bernie Sanders would still be pulling ahead. But with the field narrowed, Biden collected the majority of those fallen candidates votes.
Well Super Tuesday happened and while Bernie Sanders took California and held his own, Biden pulled a huge amount of catch up to now be call the comeback kid. You know, never mind the fact that if those other candidates remained in, Biden would still be way far back in the pack. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was less of a come back and more of a pity Democratic moderate hail Mary just to cut off Bernie Sanders off at the knees.
Mind you, I'm not a Bernie bro by any means. In fact, most feel the Bern type of people annoy the piss out of me. But I do think fair is fair and there's no reason why anyone should be propping up Biden. He's a very boring Candidate. Perhaps if this was him jumping in during the 2016 election I would have been more excited to continue that Obama Administration meritocracy. But he didn't and Hillary stepped up to the plate and failed in getting us across home plate again.
So to me, Biden is boring as fuck and a bit senile. Which, I mean, given Reagan's history, I don't think that a senile President isn't really THAT much of a new thing. But it doesn't inspire hope and I have to wonder if Biden can even beat Trump, given how much Trump supporters are annoying as fuck. Biden doesn't inspire new hope. He just seems like the same ol' shit that won't provide more health services to those who need them the most. Nor would he actually change the status quo as much as Bernie would attempt to. On the flip side, I don't know if Bernie could beat Trump either.
It seems that everyone is trying to find their perfect candidate instead of just realizing that this isn't dating, nor should you be that picky in dating either. But yeah, it seems like we want the perfect person to vote for when all you need is someone who won't fucking put kids in cages.
Still, stop trying to spin this shit as if Biden is some sort of golden child and isn't just the DNC's choice for President as they fear more than anything, that a Sander's ticket wouldn't have the same appeal to those and would potentially lose to Trump. And again, I still don't think a Biden ticket will do much to really compel those, especially those Bernie followers who would be completely disenfranchised and completely fucked over by the democratic party for a second time to come out and vote for a lesser evil than Trump. They have principles and what not.
Which is what I'm wondering about this whole mess. I don't know how this election will go or the viability of either candidate. Because if it's Bernie, then I'm sure the more moderate democrats will not want to vote for Bernie and those stuck in their more moderate views as a democrat will not want a socialist on paper to be in their park, because that's just the way it is in America this day and age. Which, I mean, fuck. That sucks. Bernie is not a communist socialist. He's not Mother Russia in the 80's and socialism isn't just gutting the capitalism and consumerism that is the rock that this whole nation is built upon.
Besides, Bernie is tough. He's a tough stuck in his ways sort of candidate and politician. Most of all, his views are a little extreme for some of those career politicians. But, if you just want to promote a boring candidate in Joe Biden, who seems like just a slightly more progressive old senile white politician who could easily get lumped into the same level of Trump. I mean, only far less corrupt. But Biden just seems like the same ol' no change from the pre-Trump era. We're just rolling back the clock a little and we shouldn't have been in this position of looking at those no real healthcare option past with rose colored glasses. We should be doing a lot better, goddamn it.
Oh well, I'm still Anyone but Trump in my vote, but I just hate this narrative that Biden is anything but a boring under performing candidate who had to be propped up by the DNC to polish this turd of a candidate.
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