First Pets

First Pets

I'm not going to bore you with some story about my first pet. Hell, I don't even remember it. I'm sure it was a Dalmatian. Hell, that's all I had as a kid. My mom loved them. But that's besides the point. Since we're all into politics and well, the whole spill on who's going to win and why is a played out joke. Namely because someone already won. So that joke has long since left.

But since Obama won it's time to make due on the puppy promise he already buried himself with during his victory speech. Way to go Obama. So in the effort to be fair and balanced, let's take a look at the previous pets who took a crap in the white house.


One of the most famous of pets


Now that's one first pet!


Well, there's certainly not any racial joke here at all...


GET HIM OFF MY NUTS!


Ich bin ein mutt


White house/ White Dog


TV sure was boring


Can't secret service take-care of the dog out?


That's one bitch of a first lady.


They aren't ripping his throat out...
BAD DOG! BAD! No treat for you


Ain't that cute. He thinks he's people.


School systems? Screw that. We
need better reading systems for pets!


I wonder how George Sr. could sleep with that
ugly looking bitch. Not to mention the dog also.


They sure need a landscaper at the white house
Or to have the dog not piss all over the lawn


At least dogs don't keep stained dresses


Not the first one he had go get his ball.... ZING!


Boy, does he like to be around a lot of bitches


This is not how you walk a dog!


Again, you don't take a dog out for a flight!

So what will Obama's mutt be? Well it's clear that he's not making friends with that sort of language! I'm sure I can come up with an overused "Bitch" joke about it though. Cause hey, it's always funny the 100th time I make it, right?

Then there's Socks the Cat. At 19 he's still kicking ass... well, as much ass as a cat can kick. Which isn't much. I suppose it's limited to just sleeping around all day and begging for cat food. Now man's best friend may be a dog, but if there's anyone that shows off how a cool pet looks like, it's Socks the cat. That mofo was stylin'

What? Expecting another bitch joke? No way,
This is just one big pussy. Oh yeah, and a cat also


up down left right A B A B select start gets you 9 more lives


Fox News? Fuck you, I ain't answering shit from you!