Hey Jeph Loeb, Sam's Dead Already and Ins't a Comic Character

Hey Jeph Loeb, Sam's Dead Already and Ins't a Comic Character

At New York Comic Con the other week or well.. month now, the Cosmic side of Marvel was revealed. And while I'm sure I could complain about Bendis taking over Guardians of the Galaxy and turning it into Avengers in Space with the use of Iron Man, I have bigger fish to fry. Namely this sucker by Jeph Loeb.



Why yes, Loeb writing Nova is going to be absolutely awful in every way possible. I know you were asking that. And even though it's a pretty cover, there's plenty of reasons why it's just going to be so bad.  For one, the previews we've seen so far have the character accidentally blowing up a bunch of people and then saying "Epic fail." That alone would be reason enough to not give this book any chance and write it off as going to be as terrible as you would expect it to be.

The real reason why you shouldn't bother with it is that the main character... I mean, let me just go over what the conversation must have looked like behind the scenes..

 "HEY, GUYS! I GOT A GREAT IDEA FOR THE NEW NOVA!"

"Hello, Jeph. You're looking very nice today. Are the nice doctors taking good care of you?"

"GUYS, I THINK THE NEW NOVA SHOULD BE A LITTLE KID."

"That's very good, Jeph. I like that idea. I'm writing it down right now."

"I'VE GOT A GREAT NAME FOR HIM, TOO."

"You don't say, Jeph? Is it three letters long, starts with an S?"

"NO, HIS NAME WILL BE STEV--SEA--SHA--... SAM, AND HE WILL GO ON SPACE ADVENTURES AND BE THE BESTEST HERO EVER."

"Thank you, Jeph. Well, it was really nice to speak with you today. Have lots of fun back at the home."

"TODAY IS PUDDING DAY."

"That's wonderful, Jeph."

"I'M GOING TO NAME MY PUDDING CUP SAM."

"Goodbye, Jeph."

Yes, Loeb is making his dead son the new Nova. You can look it up if you want, the new Nova was created by Loeb and he named him Sam... Which is the name of his dead son who died of cancer. Now you're probably wondering what the big deal is - this isn't the first time he's done it. In fact, he's created Sam's all over the place for some time now in honor of his son. It's gotten to the point that you should just stop making everything about your loss or stop working. Take some time to collect yourself and not jam Sam's name into the comic world for no real reason.

You don't have to make him hip and cool in the comics and be the bestest superhero ever and the Avengers don't have to say shit like "Sam, we wish we were more like you!" Just stop! STOP! STTTOOOOOP!

If there was anything ever likely to make me consider breaking into comics, it'd be the opportunity to kill off all Jeph Loeb's Sam inserts. We've all lost people dear to us, but you don't let it dominate your life like this to the point where you're just a sad, broken shell of a man ramming it down everyone else's throats every fucking chance you get.



Truth be told, the only way this would make any sense is if it ends up in a situation similar to this - Recall in Avengers vs. X-men #12 when they say Sam isn't suppose to be here? What if he was from the Cancerverse and picked up Rich's helmet. He lived there when he died of cancer in the 616...

Oh, what's the Cancerverse? It's a different universe in the Marvel world where death was defeated. Originally by the first Captain Mar-vell, who also died of cancer. So no one dies there since death is no longer around. I mean, that's really the only thing that makes sense. But if it's true, then someone should really sit down with Loeb and talk to him, because that is a whole can of worms being opened up.

Loeb's fixation on his son just is really unhealthy. At one point he was a good writer. I wish the guy could get counseling for it or something to help him move on with his life instead of obsessing over the tragedy. Seeing a man unable to overcome grief try to give his dead son the life that was taken away from him through superhero comic books feels all sorts of uncomfortable, sad and very voyeuristic. I really don't want to pick up these books because it's really just going to encourage the dude some more.

American Horror Story - The Concept Art

American Horror Story - The Concept Art

This second season of American Horror Story - Asylum came to an end last week and that was one strange as hell season. But what's worthy of some time is checking out the concept art from the show;

We have Bloody Face. Oh, that is pretty gruesome. 

As one of those side stories that lost a lot of people was the aliens... Which really did come across as interesting considering the era that it took place in. 

And finally we have the Raspers, who really just sort of didn't do much other than keep the insane in and stop an escape or two. These zombie like things made by a good ol' Nazi were just sort of.... there.

It'll be interesting to see what the next season has to offer in terms of crazy ass shit. Because this last one just upped the game in terms of randomness expected from American Horror Story.

Stay Curious

Stay Curious

So a few days ago I warned you about the dumb ways to die. I hope you didn't take that to mean that you shouldn't live your life. I mean, that's part of the joy, being able to just go out and take those little risk in life to be fully alive. It's all part of discovering all those cool things in life...



Keep going out there, especially with a new and fresh year to use as your canvas, and find those cool things.

How Much For A Wendy, Wendy

How Much For A Wendy, Wendy

So a thought hit me the other day when I was watching TV and a Wendy's Burgers ad came on the television. I was reminded of when Wendy Thomas came out of hiding.



first off... Wendy's fat?! Okay, that sounds mean, but considering the flack that fast food chains are getting for unhealthy food, having your spokes person be someone who isn't thin seemed like.. well, it seemed like the wrong move.

Then you have the name of the burgers. Dave's Hot and Juicy sounds like NOTHING I would put in my mouth. No ma'am. That just sounds like your friends could make fun of you for hours with the fact that you ordered that.

I must not have been the only one who thought that since we got a new Wendy's girl out of it. I'm sure you've seen her already, but meet he new Wendy's girl






Okay, I'm feeling really bad about this, but the Wendy's Wendy girl is hot now. I mean, I wouldn't mind if she appeared in the back seat of my car. Though we wouldn't be going to any fast food drive-thru, if you catch my drift.

Okay, that's crude. But still, it must have been a tough choice for them to suddenly drop their REAL advertising for the sake of making sure that the store still maintained some sex appeal.

Capitalism Marches On

Capitalism Marches On

Even though Christmas is over and the mighty god of consumerism has reached its climatic peak, doesn't mean that capitalism is at all ready to rest. Just look at a Danish law that was passed to make capitalizing on ad revenue so much easier for parents.
Making it so that naming laws now allow for company and product names for Children.

Over the course of a 80-year-long life a name will be uttered roughly 600,000 times. An estimate by the media agency IUM, experts in the field of advertising and product placement, shows that that gives it an advertising value of roughly $17,500 for the product or company. A name-change costs $85, so you could potentially make a good deal if a company is willing to sponsor you or your child as a living billboard.

Well, fucking hell. I just... wow. Well, Somebody actually typed those words and it's utterly amazing. I guess it's just a matter that in America we already have people who name their kids shit like ESPN so ha, fucking hell. I guess they're just looking to catch up to the rest of us. USA! USA! We don't just do it, we lead the way to it!


But hey, that's what we get for living in a world run by capitalism. One where even the NASA program is looking for a roomie to crash on their couch. 

ORLANDO, Fla. — Does anyone need a 15,000-foot landing strip? How about a place to assemble rocket ships? Or a parachute-packing plant? A launchpad?

Make us an offer, says NASA, which is quietly holding a going-out-of-business sale for the facilities used by its space shuttle program.

The last shuttle flight was in July 2011, when Atlantis made its final touchdown. That orbiter, like its sisters Discovery and Endeavour, is now a museum piece. As soon as some remaining cleanup is finished at Kennedy Space Center, the shuttle program will be history.

That has prompted NASA to advertise a long list of space center facilities and equipment available for use, lease or, in some cases, purchase by the right business.

The process is mostly secret because NASA has agreed to let bidders make their proposals out of the view of competitors and the public. NASA has at times published official notices seeking proposals and spelled out that they should be space-related, although the agency will consider alternative uses.

But information about who wants to do what may not be revealed until agency officials select finalists.

 So let's get this straight. NASA is selling all of its expensive and unique space shuttle facilities because its funding runs out for them at the end of the year. And since it's Florida, they won't last very long without someone taking them over. But hey, of course the negotiations are super secret.

So we have a motivated seller and absolutely no oversight. No way this will be used to take advantage of taxpayers, riiiiiiight?

Beer Education

Beer Education 

So it strikes me that we're in a new year, perhaps it's time to educate you on the wonderful world of beer. I don't mean that Natty Ice stuff. I mean the real stuff. So here you go. Watch and enjoy;



Now it's time for a drink, I would say.

Star Gazing

Star Gazing

For 2013 I think it's a nice thought to try to make goals. One of those for this year would probably be to see the aurora borealis sometime. It's one of those things that I want to do before I die. You know, that sort of bucket list. Then again, perhaps space travel will become commercially viable in my lifetime I suppose watching it from space would be a whole lot cooler.

In any case, let's focus on the present. And perhaps let's focus on the night sky for just a moment. Because really, it's one of the coolest things around. Living in the city means that it's not very common to be able to see any sort of stars. Not unless I manage to find my way 40 minutes out of the heavily lived in parts of the city.

But I remember one night when I was driving through Texas and it was completely dark and empty. I mean, completely empty. Not another car for minutes for miles around you. That in itself is a bit scary. The complete darkness of it all. I just sat there on the car and stared at the night sky and how utterly amazing it was. Especially since it made me feel like my problems, my lot in life was so small and insignificant.

It felt amazing. Thus reinforcing that the night sky.. it's so fucking cool.

Fuck It, Let's Blow Up The White House

Fuck It, Let's Blow Up The White House

It's only been a couple of days since the White House got a brand new 4 year lease to the Obama family and here we are about to face a year that has not one major incident, but two at the white house. I speak of course about the film industries desire to personify the right wing wacko's wild fantasy of blowing up the god damn White House.



Before I go into dopplegangers, I need to ask - What the fuck point was it to show the President's car crash and the death of the first lady(?) in that trailer? I mean, it seemed to have no baring on the rest of the trailer where the Chinese seem to take control of the White House


And while having a death from above bomber take out most of Washington is neat to look at, I have to wonder what's the point. Why not just get some predator drones to come in and level the place? In any case, I'm also wondering why even bother going to see this film when the trailer seems to show you everything impressive or enjoyable about it all in that two minute sum up.


Apparently this movie premise of taking over the White House isn't something that they felt the need to space out. Look at this other, completely unrelated film's premise is in the film WHITE HOUSE DOWN

White House Down is an upcoming American action thriller film directed by Roland Emmerich and starring Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx and Maggie Gyllenhaal. The film will be released on June 28, 2013

When a paramilitary group led by Stenz (Jason Clarke) take over the White House, John Cale (Channing Tatum) a Secret Service agent, must rescue the President of the United States James Sawyer (Jamie Foxx)

I.... seriously? I mean, are you fucking kidding me? How could the market support TWO films with the same basic outline that it is almost parody of itself. Like, did they just try to see who could make it to the theaters first, or something?

I'm just glad that there's far more comic book films coming in 2013 so that I can overlook all these god awful films about blowing up the White House. I mean, it's not like they'd actually shoot down a commercial airliner before one would get anywhere near the White House. Not like they haven't done so already twelve years ago or anything...

The Worst New Years Event Possible

The Worst New Years Event Possible


It's not like KDOC is even has a chance of getting an audience. So me promoting them in this fashion is not really that helpful. But let's talk about New Years Eve... Okay, yeah. I realize this topic is fairly dated a whole 23 days later from when the year lost that new car smell, but here I am going to highlight what had to be the worst production value and executed New Years event in the history of... well, ever.

It's so bad that I can honestly say that the public access broadcast I worked on in the early 00's would have put it to shame. And here it is in all its glory.

Life is Stranger Than Fiction

Life is Stranger Than Fiction

This is the city of Angels and it's one hell of a place for a writer. Mainly because reality is often far more stranger than whatever stories you could make up.

Just look at this video and you tell me the likelihood of this ever happening most any place else?



Front row center to the police chase you're watching. Now that's pretty damn unique.

Why 2013 Will Blow You Away

Why 2013 Will Blow You Away

While it may not be some Mayan doomsday prediction, but here's one reason why 2013 will be one hell of an amazing year. For starters, in November-early December of this year, you can check this out...

that's kinda like what's going to be in the sky during that time of year i mentioned. probably. some people at kislovodsk observatory in russia were spying around looking for cool new hunks of ice hurtling in from the oort cloud, and found a new comet they're calling C/2012 S1, but that's not very catchy or memorable so another name for it is Ison. these things are kinda hard to predict accurately, but it's got a decent shot at being brighter than a full moon, and possibly the most visible naked eye astronomical event in the last 100 years. this could be really fucking cool. comparisons are already being drawn to the great comet of 1680, a comet with a tail that spanned an estimated thirty million miles. neat comet thing of note: the tail of a comet is not indicative of what direction it's traveling in. the tail always trails out behind the comet opposite the direction of the sun, as it's composed of material from the comet being heated by the sun, sublimating / outgassing away from its surface, and being blown away by the solar wind.

Better To Ask Disney For Forgiveness Than Permission

Better To Ask Disney For Forgiveness Than Permission

One of the bigger stories come out of Sundance is the story of a struggling screen writer with a film that was shot in the most unconventional way. Without one single ounce of permission to film where he did. That where is also extremely strange since it's one of the most watched places around with a crowd that would cause any normal production a slew of filming nightmares in itself.

Randy Moore films guerrilla style at Disney

PARK CITY, Utah -- About three years ago, Randy Moore, a struggling screenwriter living in Burbank, had an out-there idea: What if he took a tiny camera and, without asking permission, began shooting a narrative movie at Disney theme parks?

Moore had been visiting Disney World in Orlando, Fla., with his now-estranged father since he was a child, and he’d also begun taking his two children, then 1 and 3, to Disneyland. He thought that juxtaposing the all-American iconography of Mickey Mouse with a dark scripted tale would be cinematic gold, or at least deeply weird.

So with the help of an extremely small Canon camera and some very game actors and crew, the director began shooting a movie guerrilla-style.

The result of Moore’s quixotic dream is “Escape from Tomorrow,” a Surrealist, genre-defying black-and-white film that was shown for the first time at the Sundance Film Festival on Friday night and that was primarily shot across the vast expanses of Disney theme parks in Orlando and Anaheim. There is Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin and Space Mountain, Tiki Room and teacups, princesses and a Main Street parade. At one point, Epcot Center blows up.

It is one of the strangest and most provocative movies this reporter has seen in eight years attending the Sundance Film Festival. And it may well never be viewed by a commercial audience.

Sitting at a Park City café shortly after the screening ended, Moore, 36, is trying to take deep breaths. The director has been living the last three years in a state of heightened tension, fearful that Disney would find out about his stealth project and try to quash it.

So he went from a struggling screenwriter. One who has a million bucks to blow on a film as well as graduated from Full Sail... Let that sink in for a second. I almost went to Full Sail and if ever a worthless degree mill has existed than Full Sail, I could not think of it. The place was utterly embarrassing in how bad they just wanted you to take out loans and then crank you out into an industry not paying shit to ever pay those loans back with.

But hey, he's got this very controversial premier at Sundance that will get his name out. I guess there really is no such thing as bad publicity... that is till he gets sued by Disney's all star legal team. You just have to ask yourself what this sucker looks like. Here's a little clip.



Which is thoroughly impressive in how he captured his film with no real control of lighting besides what the elements tossed at you. And while I know Florida isn't all that known for deviating weather besides sunny and humid, you'd be surprise how often it just up and suddenly rains on you, or the clouds decide to turn it dark for a brief while.

It's really strange at how this was made. Just look at the footage from the making of and post production work that was taken to South Korea.

 

 Again, this just shows how amazing this production was. But then you realize that he just made a movie about a father who was laid off, and on the final day of his family trip to Disney, he gets obsessed with under age women and follows them around the park.

Hmmm, I'm not a betting man, but I'm sure that I could make some easy money in saying that perhaps Disney wouldn't like to encourage dirty old men to stalk underage park patrons. So if there wasn't any other of the long list of reasons why this was going to get the full wrath of the lawyer department, it's for the sole purpose of the film's use of the theme park is a huge no-no. As well as promoting pedophilia in the parks is just not something the Disney company wants anything to do with.

And yet, this is probably the main reason, and the single most important reason why this film will be demanded and watched - Because they said I couldn't see it, so I just want to see it ten times more now.


But let's face the facts. This will never be bought by any distribution company. At best it will be circulated and screened, against the wishes of Disney as well as the wrath of their legal department, where ever it shows up. Taking it to Park City was pretty silly besides as a tool to get his name out there. He was, after all, a failed screen writer. So this sudden attention is going to be all the payment he needs. Mostly also because no one will touch this. It's virtually impossible to distribute and everyone knows this. The moment anyone buys it, Disney will slam them and slam them hard. 

There was one other instance like this that I have seen. A sort of found footage scary story short that revolved around the Haunted Mansion being mixed with Blair Witch Project/ Paranormal Activities type of story. You can see it right here;


But as you can see, that didn't go to any indie film circuits and was just distributed online. So who knows, besides it wasn't really that far from what Disney's narrative is. Having a pedo in the park.. yeah, not so great on the "to-do" list in allowing to see the light of day.

The War on Drugs - Watch This

The War on Drugs - Watch This

It's 2013 and I'm amazed that we're still battling the war on drugs. I mean, when the fuck are we going to just realize how much money we're wasting on controlling a vice? In any event, perhaps you should watch this video. Mainly because it's completely accurate and the message should be heard by more;



End the war on drugs. I don't even do drugs and I think this nanny state is just stupid and a waste of money and time.

Reagan = The Bonzo Years

Ronald Reagan - The Bonzo Years

I hate Ronald Reagan. Oh how I hate him. Thus, Ronald Reagan - The Bonzo Years is a fun read. As it goes through his presidency in chronological order and has some terrific gems like the following:

3/1/82
Sen Bob Packwood (R-OR) claims President Reagan frequently offers up transparent fictional anecdotes as if they were real. "We've got a $120 billion deficit coming," says Packwood, "and the President says, 'You know, a young man went into a grocery store and he had an orange in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other, and he paid for the orange with food stamps and he took the change and paid for the vodka. That's what's wrong.' And we just shake our heads."

quote:

4/15/82
"In England, if a criminal carried a gun, even though he didn't use it, he was not tried for burglary or theft or whatever he was doing. He was tried for first degree murder and hung if he was found guilty" - President Reagan citing a favorite example of British law. (see 4/16/82)

4/16/82
"Well, it's a good story, though. It made the point, didn't it?" - White House spokesman Larry Speakes on being informed that President Reagan's story about British gun law is "just not true."

quote:

6/12/82
Regarding the 750,000 supporters who showed up for the largest disarmament demonstration in US history in Central Park, President Reagan opines that "the Commies are behind it."

quote:

1/19/83
President Reagan tells reporters about "the ten commandments of Nikolai Lenin...the guiding principles of communism," among them "that promises are like pie crust, made to be broken." Soviet scholars claim that no such commandments exist, and point out that Lenin's name was Vladimir.

Now check out his video guide to Russia.



I have to say, the production values from the CIA are a bit more than what I expected. Bravo to them. Now they should go work for the travel channel.

Just-an Awful Tattoo

Just-an Awful Tattoo

While I'm not one for the gossip rags, I do happen to have a finger on the pulse of pop culture. So while I don't give a shit about this little young lesbian named Justin Bieber, I have to say that her tattoo of a massively racist caricature Indian on her shoulder is beyond incredibly bad.




Wait, that's NOT a girl? Oh man. Then why does it look like a lesbian so much? Well then. it doesn't change the fact that tattoo is just plain bad. So bad I was like "baby, baby, baby no!"

It just leaves me wondering why the people who can obviously afford the best looking tattoos money can buy for some reason choose to get the worst tattoos you could probably find on a person.

I guess you really can't buy good taste.

Archer - A Perfect Day

Archer - A Perfect Day

Archer starts a new season tonight on FX. So that's sort of a perfect day in itself. What will make it a perfect day for the characters of the show? Just find out!

California Residents Meet to Assign New Forbidden Fruit Franchise

California Residents Meet to Assign New Forbidden Fruit Franchise

With the news that Dunkin Donuts is finally returning to California come 2015, a special election has been scheduled to assign the new forbidden fruit franchise that out of state transplants will be required to complain about not having 'out here'.


No longer will fans of bad donuts and mediocre coffee be required to enjoy it while visiting Las Vegas - the last stop Westward that Dunkin Donuts has. Which plans to open up 1,000 stores all along California.
"We saw Starbucks over saturation and figured, hey. why not?" said one Dunkin Donuts representative.

 

With Dunkin' landing in the state, the first time since they shut down their last location in Sacramento in 2002, it leaves a gaping hole in conversation pieces about why X franchise from the east coast doesn't have a presences in California. The hope is that this special election will pave the way for a unified agreement on which franchise can be the next forbidden fruit of the Golden State.

Upon questioning, White Castle has stated that they simply can not make the trip west. Leaving the duty of spreading terrible hamburger sliders to the frozen section of the local grocery stores. Southern knock off, Krystals declined to comment. Simply leaving it with a ditto to whatever White Castle answered.

New York Bagels as a whole were one of the first to be ruled out as it was evident that the water supply would always be something to disregard as to why making a 'good' bagel 'out here' was too complicated. The Jewish culture was perfectly fine with the level of complaining that was currently held in conversational pieces.



Waffle House was left the front runner. With the nearest location to California being just shy outside of Phoenix, Arizona, it was the perfect option and currently leading the pack in polls. One New Yowker stated "While I ain't got them up here, who hasn't woken up in a Waffle House half sober when that slathered hash browns is placed in front of you during spring break at cocoa beach."


Waffle House does have the advantage of being like Dunkin Donuts, in that you could only possibly ever consider it a viable option and call it good if you're completely trashed.

No matter who wins, government officials are making it clear that the time table of two years is of concern in coming up with a consonance. "The people need to be in agreement on what they wonder why they can't get it here." council members agreed.  

Archer

Archer

reader. reader. reader. READER. REEEEEEEEAADDDDEEEERR!

....... danger zone.

So a new season of Archer is coming up and along with Justified makes FX the network to watch again. So what can you look forward to in Archer this coming season? How about ultimate badassary. I mean, here's a few clips to wet your whistle.



















Yeah, it's going to be a great season. You have your Bob's Burger crossover. You have comedy in all shapes in sizes. Oh man. Sooooo good.    

This One's For Huell Howser

This One's For Huell Howser

Last week California lost a little bit of its gold at the hands of cancer. Star of television and all around amazingly kind and down to earth guy, Huell Howser passed away. And while I don't know about everyone else who didn't grow up in range of a California Public Broadcast Station, I do know that I was essentially raised by Huell.

To a great degree, he's the major driving force as to why I go out of my way to find those hidden spots of the city. Why I love going on road trips and a major reason why I'm more than happy to talk to strangers whenever I come across them. Sometimes I'm not exactly sure how to approach them, but hey, it went to show you that he could make anything enjoyable.

Huell was not born here. He was a transplant, but I dare you to find someone who is more Californian than him. He will go down as one of our most precious commodities. Mainly due to the ability to be filled with wanderlust and excitement at the slightest things. Just look at his reaction to a dog that eats avocados.



Which has to be one of my favorite moments on his productions by far. But that was just one instance of many that showed how full of joy and carefree the man was. Perhaps you should take a look at his reporting in the early days of his career.



But as much as he was on point with a lot of those, including a Clash report, nothing can beat his programs California's Gold and Visiting with... Since he died at a young age of 67 without any heirs, he decided to give Chapman University the rights to stream all of his produced content. Which is pretty impressive and is located at the Huell Howser archives.

Tomorrow (Tuesday the 15th) at Griffith Park's Observatory, a memorial will be held in honor of the man organized by Tom LaBonge. Who Huell Howser was the master of ceremonies at LaBonge's first swearing in. But yeah, to have a Sunset Salute to a man who opened the door in showing a large part of the hidden aspects of California to many of us in his own special way... well, that's the least we can do short of putting up a statue of the man.

You know what, this man was one of my heroes. He deserves more than one blog post celebrating his life. So to be continued.....

Zero Dark Thirty

Zero Dark Thirty


While many others may see Zero Dark Thirty as something of a glorified celebration of killing Osama, I thought it was a good film in exposing the pointless nihilism of the war on terror. In the end, it's really the best lesson you can learn from it.Though I know for damn well that what I took away from the film was not the same thing others did.

I hear people talk about how it's so riveting and suspenseful - even though we all know how it ends, you know, with the death of that old CIA agent... In any case, I do think that the best way to look at it is to wonder if after all the money spent and the man power wasted and deaths on its plate, was it all worth it?

The film is very much framed through the use of a high-profile terrorist attacks - so it begins with a phone call from a woman in the twin towers after the attacks - at which point you should just accept the fact that this will pander to the American audience and pull on those heart strings.

But throughout the film we see the London bombings, an attack in Saudi Arabai, the Marriot bombing, the camp Chapman attack and so on, but the only American response we see is the final assault on Bin Laden's compound and I would argue that this reinforces the whole "America as victim" narrative that we don't really need.

They show you this huge and very long torture scene and the rest of the film we're told that they can no longer do that and how much easier it would be if they could. Seems like they just swept that whole aspect under the rug. Not more so than not ever touching on anything about drone attacks or bombings that we constantly do on their soil.

In the end I just thought the Hurt Locker was a lot better made and the point is there. This film just seems to bypass a lot of the WHY as to what is happening on screen. 

Say Goodbye To These, Michael!

Say Goodbye To These, Michael! 

In a strange turn of events, tonight's airing of the Miss America Beauty Pageant has stepped up its level of irrelevance by including a battle for life and death with someone who doesn't currently have a life or death illness.

I'm talking about Miss District of Columbia. Do they even have the ability to vote? Okay, anyhow - Win or Lose, Miss D.C. is making news as she's planning to chop off her breast after the competition in order to take preventative measures in potentially getting breast cancer.See for yourself!



Now not to be the negative Nancy in all this, but chances are that even with the decreased chances, she's still probably going to develop cancer based on the genetic disposition. Truth be told, that stance is really not

I think that her father pushing this on her at a young age is probably the biggest fucked up issue here. Telling your daughter, who only two years prior lost her mother that "You will end up dead like your mom" has to be some of the most fucked up shit possible.

"My mom would have given up every part of her body to be here for me, to watch me in the pageant," 

See, I would like to think that it would be more to the point that she not give up body parts in exchange for memories. It's really a fine line I'm doing in talking about this as any which way I can sound incredibly offensive if I lean one way or another. But to say your mother should give up, or would give up body parts if she could, well... that's even suggesting that giving up those body parts would have done any good.

What also gets me about this situation is that she is planning on doing reconstructive surgery, but said the procedure has complications and there's no guarantee that she will regain her pageant-approved bust.... Okay, let me stop you right fucking there. You know, if I had alcoholism running in my family and I made a bold prime time television statement of "Well, I'm going to give up drinking in order to prevent this from happening to me, I wouldn't be all gung-ho about speaking out on the options of near-beer/non-alcoholic variety.

I understand it's her body and her choice on the matter, but it seems like it's a big scare tactic. You don't see her going full tilt in getting her lymph nodes taken out or her lungs removed all in the name of preemptive care. And let's get another thing straight there, that's only useful for the medical industry. A bunch of unneeded surgery. It's tragic what happened to her mother, but getting a double mastectomy because your predisposed genetically is like a guy getting his balls removed because testicular cancer runs in the family.

Either way, if you're wondering, the title of the post comes from....



So hey, stare at them while you can, you objectifying average male who watches the Miss America pageant.... wait, okay, that's exactly no one. Cause, you know, football is on.

Those Crazy Liberal Gun Stealing Jews Are Taking Are Guns!

Those Crazy Liberal Gun Stealing Jews Are Taking Are Guns!


So hey, Alex Jones had a pretty big meltdown on the Piers Morgan Tonight show. I know what you're thinking. Who the fuck is Piers Morgan and why hasn't he dropped that stupid accent? The second thing you're wondering is how Alex Jones is even relevant. Well, he's really not but let's just roll with this notion that he is for the sake of seeing a crazy dude on television have a complete meltdown with conspiracy theories in full effect.





It's really sad that he's clearly mentally ill, because he does have some valid points, but his mind is so goddamned maelstrom with no clarity that you can't make heads or tails of it. He may be right about the whole danger of disarming the populous, the fact that most gun violence is committed with illegal handguns and not semi-automatic rifles. As well as the media coverage being responsible for the continuing waves of mass murders. Just look at that recent shooting in Kern River. But the whole building 7 bullshit and his demeanor is just too much of a fucking bonkers for the CNN crowd to do anything but dismiss anything he says.

I appreciate that he is trying his damnest to bring unconventional news and a differing perspective to the young, burgeoning information culture, but at the same time I think he could be more effective if he didn't stray so far into his own sort of twisted, paranoid perspective on the world. There will always be acts of conspiracy in the higher echelons of government and business, but the simple fact is that its very hard to keep secrets, even in the case of powerful organizations and 'all-knowing governments.' At the end of the day, the world-class governments and multi-national corporations are organizations of PEOPLE, and are still susceptible to the fallacies of individual human beings.

But, as always, I could be wrong. We could all be wrong. We could all be the remaining souls of aliens brought to this world trillions of years ago, and placed under volcanoes by the alien warlord Zenu to be re-birthed to live for billions of years and meant to serve L. Ron Hubbard in the Sea Org to save the world from the Thetans that congregate inside our bodies. You never know.

The Media Is Evil - Tila Explains It All

The Media Is Evil - Tila Explains It All

Say, do you have 30 minutes to kill? Well, you're reading this blog, so the answer to that is of course YES! Well, check out this out if you feel the need to have your brain melted into a puddle of mind numbing nothingness..

I present to you Tila Tequila explains the Illuminati and other shit...



Welp, my brain is completely melted and there's no point to the world anymore. Thanks Tila....

Hugo Chavez - R.I.P

Hugo Chavez - R.I.P 

It's pretty well know that Hugo Chavez is probably going to die very soon. So hey, how about we just go through a couple of the most favorite of moments this crazy socialist leader has done before he departed. How about we take a step back some and look at some of our early exposure to his madness towards America;



Who can forget that classic Bush talk with his "The Devil was here" speech at the UN. There's just something so wonderful about his acts. It's as if Chavez is criminally under-recognized for his contributions to the great art of trolling.


Hey, remember the time when Chavez gave Obama a copy of "Open Veins"? Maybe if he had written Fareed Zakaria's name on it, Obama would have actually read it.


But hey, democracy and all that stuff... I just like that he helped illustrate the moral cowardice of even the liberal-left media to me by being continually denounced as an authoritarian and a dictator despite being continually re-elected in free and fair elections. It's just a matter that your average American believe people south of the U.S. just don't have "real" democracy, as "they simply do not understand it" Or at least that's what every dipshit Secretary of State has to say on the matter.



"what would those oppressed peoples of the global south say to the american imperialist?"

"yankee imperialist, go home!"



Goodnight you sweet prince.

Learning: How To Work At Wendy's

Learning: How To Work At Wendy's

Okay, so maybe "How to work at wendy's" isn't the best description for this. I mean, you just have to settle for really shitty wages, smelling like frier grease and seeing a lot of stoners pull up at midnight after they're fucked up. This is actually a guide on how to pour drinks at Wendy's.



Yeah, apparently the workers there need a handy guide on how exactly they need to pour a cold cup of soda. This is handy info if you're planning on working at that burger joint in the coming year. Best of luck!

Oh, Hello 1984

Oh, Hello 1984

So you know how when people say that a situation is very "Orwellian", they're almost always exaggerating or completely misunderstanding what that means from Nineteen Eighty-Four?

Well, for once I can actually say that something is truly Orwellian and if you doubt me, tell me that This isn't actually like 1984 

Obese and other unhealthy people could be monitored to check whether they are taking exercise and have their benefits cut if they fail to do so under proposals published on Thursday by a Conservative-run council and a local government think tank.

Westminister council and the Local Government Information Unit say new technologies such as smart cards could be used to track claimants' use of leisure centres, allowing local authorities to dock housing and council benefit payments from those who refuse to carry out exercise prescribed by their doctor.

The report, A Dose of Localism: the Role of Councils in Public Health, precedes the transfer in April of responsibility for community wellbeing and public health from the NHS to local authorities.

The proposals address how councils can meet the financial challenges posed by their new public health function amid rising levels of obesity and major budget cuts. The report suggests linking benefit payments to claimants' lifestyles, and notes that some councils have introduced schemes allowing GPs to prescribe exercise at swimming pools, yoga, gyms and walking clubs.

"Where an exercise package is prescribed to a resident, housing and council tax benefit payments could be varied to reward or incentivise residents," the authors state

A Westminster council spokesman said the proposal would have to involve a "carrot and stick" approach.

Yes ma'am. That right there. Now that right there is fucking Orwellian as you can possibly get. It's truly shocking and rather sickening to think about it. I just wonder what else we can specifically penalize poor people for next. Maybe smoking? Or perhaps some alcohol. Those two seem like the obvious choices.

Perhaps we will eventually be able to cut benefits for people based on nutritional profile and carbon footprint. How about genetic make up and genetic dispositions? Fuck Obesity! It's ruining everything, I tells yah.

Unproductive Week Comes to a Close

Unproductive Week Comes to a Close

Lets face it - the two weeks that encompass Christmas and New Years and the few days following New Years have to be the most unproductive of any weeks around. Shit just doesn't get done. So let's take a moment and not get anything done here.

Occupying Wall Street - Fucking Clueless

Occupying Wall Street - Fucking Clueless 

The other day Occupy Wall Street did their Rose Parade float bombing. This follows their attempt to do the same thing as last year


Eh, I like their attempt and they have a great message about getting awareness of the economic situation, but I just dislike their whole approach. This peaceful protest stuff just doesn't work. No one cares.

The funny thing to all this is that the OWS group had no fucking clue how much they were like an ant with a boot on top of them just waiting to stomp. Take a look at this, which shouldn't surprise you in the least, but it's a little concerning.

Released Documents saying how the OWS crackdown was organized

"The crackdown, which involved, as you may recall, violent arrests, group disruption, canister missiles to the skulls of protesters, people held in handcuffs so tight they were injured, people held in bondage till they were forced to wet or soil themselves –was coordinated with the big banks themselves."

"The document – reproduced here in an easily searchable format – shows a terrifying network of coordinated DHS, FBI, police, regional fusion center, and private-sector activity so completely merged into one another that the monstrous whole is, in fact, one entity: in some cases, bearing a single name, the Domestic Security Alliance Council."

"...plans to crush Occupy events, planned for a month down the road, were made by the FBI – and offered to the representatives of the same organizations that the protests would target; and even threats of the assassination of OWS leaders by sniper fire"

"in Denver, Colorado, that branch of the FBI and a "Bank Fraud Working Group" met in November 2011 – during the Occupy protests – to surveil the group. The Federal Reserve of Richmond, Virginia had its own private security surveilling Occupy Tampa..."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I seriously can't stop laughing now when I think back at how the Occupy Movement was just so clueless at how little power they had. It also makes all that push to have a peaceful revolution just laughable.

If anything, this shows that you can't go the peaceful protest route. You just need to go full tilt revolution with backs against the wall. Then again, you'd have no chance in hell to succeed in that since we've been inflating that government military and armed forces budget to the point that we fucked ourselves.

Even better is that they created this hush hush Domestic Security Alliance Council. So hey, you keep doing that whole speech about how the protestors should work WITH the police.

P.S. Hello, FBI agent who has been assigned to now monitor this socialist's blog. It's going to be a boring job, so hope you have some Sudoku to keep you occupied.

Waiting for Justification

Waiting for Justification

With a new year comes a new season of shows. First up is the much anticipated new season of Justified. Oh man, do I love me this show about a Kansas Marshal kicking ass in them there hollars. Here's a few teasers to get you ready.




and how about another..



Yeah, they didn't really show much but they still planted the sees of making me want this show back on at once. So there's at least that. Here's some music as you wait.

Instagram'ed

Instagram'ed

So there's something going around that has shaken the very fabric of most hipsters on the internet. It's the simple fact that their once beloved photo dump Instagram just turned on them.

Instagram said today that it has the perpetual right to sell users' photographs without payment or notification, a dramatic policy shift that quickly sparked a public outcry.

The new intellectual property policy, which takes effect on January 16, comes three months after Facebook completed its acquisition of the popular photo-sharing site. Unless Instagram users delete their accounts before the January deadline, they cannot opt out.

The first thing that comes to your mind is "Can they just do that?!" And the answer is more than likely Yes, so what if it's not legal - lots of money thrown at lobby's in Washington make your rights go away... that and the whole, you know, fact that you probably signed away the rights to your photos in that agreement you signed when you installed the crappy software.







Sure, there's probably rules in place saying they can't do this, but you know what they say about them rules, that they're made to be broken. Also rules actually don't apply to billion dollar corporations, so best of luck going and fucking yourself. 

I'm actually really glad that people are going to have their personal photos taken for use in things like advertising as instagram/facebook sells them off to corporations and that users have no say so in the matter whatsoever. What, you expect me to be on your side? Facebook is fucking awful in every possible way. You sign up to be advertised. It's as simple as that. You're being marketed at the cost of staying in touch with friends and getting birthday wishes from people who haven't seen you in years.

How is any of this some sort of shocking revelation? Just assume that something like this is being said in the offices;
"Hey, we're just going to steal pictures of your children and sell them to advertisers and there's nothing you idiots can do about it. So get fucked!" Mark Zuckerberg.

Besides, no one's going to prosecute the companies anyway, Especially since the main customer is the CIA and FBI on facebook waiting to bust you on that other shit you do, you pot head.

Just realize that society is literally to the point where we found a way to monetize the human experience. It's identify theft via billboards. Isn't it utterly amazing?

Then again, I guess you could just take photos and share them in some kind of, I dunno, other slightly less convenient way. Go figure.

Dumb Ways To Die

Dumb Ways To Die

Congrats, you actually made it to 2013. Well, that's assuming this post and we aren't all dead from some stupid Mayan calendar ending prematurely. In any case, here's a simple little message that there's plenty of dumb ways to die. Congrats on bypassing them to see a new year.



To 2013, a year that may not suck as much.

Advice from a Jazz Musician

Advice from a Jazz Musician

While we're heading into a new year, it seems only fitting to give you some advice in life and all the things that you do. So here, take a moment to read these notes scribbled by Thelonius Monk. They're really inspiring and who knows, maybe they'll help you out with some things in your life.

Obviously click for bigger.

Some highlights include;
stop playing all that bullshit/those weird notes, play the melody!

don't play the piano part, I'M playing that. Don't listen to ME, i'm supposed to be accompanying YOU

a note can be as small as a pin or as big as the world, it depends on your imagination

you got to dig it to dig it, you dig?

How can you top that last one? You got to dig it to dig it, you dig?