Palin On Fox News

Palin On Fox News

During Sarah Palin's interview with Glenn Beck the other day, something extraordinary happened -- Beck challenged Palin on a stock, noncommittal answer to a question. Beck asked: "Who's your favorite Founder?"

The results.. well, they were comedy at its finest



Here's the transcript to see a worm wiggle;
"You know, well, all of them, because they came collectively together with so much--" Palin began, in a manner much like her non-answers to Katie Couric's questions about which newspapers she's read ("All of them.") and which Supreme Court decisions she's disagreed with (which brought a similarly broad answer about how there are a lot of decisions).

"Bullcrap," Beck interrupted. "Who's your favorite."

"--so much diverse and so much diversity in terms of belief, but collectively they came together -- and they were led by, of course George Washington, so he's got to rise to the top." Palin then gave a short speech on Washington's virtues.

I just weep because this could have been our President if McCain died.. We were that close. THAT CLOSE!

I just have to wonder if "all of em" her stock answer for every question. You know what, You betcha. *wink*

I just wonder how one human can encompass so much that is wrong with the united states. She's more ridiculous than any possibly parody. I'm nearly at a loss for words with this whole fascination in her.

That answer would work fine with porn. I mean, you have that fake porno Mrs. Palin and you show her a room full of naked dudes and then ask her "Out of all these dicks in this room, which one would you like the most to suck dry?"
Other than that, I really can't imagine her

It seems that every sentence is a struggle for Palin, every time she speaks I feel like I'm watching someone learn to read for the first time. She's so slow to react and I could just hear the nuts and bolts slowly cranking away in her head. Though, I'm sure she only said "all of them" so she could have time to think, it's not like you can just come up with the name of one of the founding fathers off the top of your head or something... Hamilton, Madison, Jay, Adams, Franklin, Washington... TIME!

But really, the best founding father was without a doubt, Benjamin Franklin. He invented electricity, was poor, never owned slaves and was never a part of the US Government. Looks like he has a clean slate. Not to mention she could have just mentioned that he was a maverick, just like her or some dumb shit like that.

Maybe this is all because of the strain of dealing with Levi Johnston. Having family problems with the father of your grandson must really be hitting her hard. I want Obama to have a beer with Sarah Palin and Levi and see if we can work this out. Then again, that would only continue to give him pointless fame forever more, which will only annoy Levi's baby mama's mama much more.

I just have to wonder why the only pundit on any American news show with the guts to call Sarah Palin out on her shit is Glenn Beck? What the fuck, America. Here's hoping that Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin will destroy each other through jealous attacks for the control of tea parties and Fox News.

If You Ain't Like Me, Go Hang From A Tree

If You Ain't Like Me, Go Hang From A Tree

Hang on here because what I'm about to say is going to leave you off your feet and I'm sure I'll make you dangle. But there has been a sudden rush in the amount of hangings going on.



Recently a West Hollywood resident put up a hanging Sarah Palin. This caused many to scream that it was a hate crime, which later turned to an outrage having crowds of protesters trying to block the effigy from being viewed by putting up blankets in front of it. The residents defense of course is that he has the right of free speech.

Even the definition of Effigy is a ridicules representation of someone used to point out

1.	a representation or image, esp. sculptured, as on a monument.

2.	a crude representation of someone disliked, used for purposes of ridicule.

Looks pretty clear cut from that. It goes back before our nation was ever founded and it's not with the intent of a hate crime or a threat. It's expressing your dislikes of someone's beliefs. So taking it away would be taking away freedom of speech and expression.

Hell, even the secret service was saying that the silly doll in a Neiman Marcus coat dress was not treating this as anything other than boys being boys according to Special Agent Wayne Williams. So this isn't an issue with the feds, but the local law is not singing the same tune. They want the effigy taken down and it looks like the resident will do what the city wants for the greater good. It's their first amendment right too express themselves. But much the same, you have the right to go outside and yell at people. It wont make you any friends to do that.



I bet it's going to come as no surprise that the McCain supporters responded in kind by doing their own hanging effigy for Obama. . . . Yeah. This is going to come as a surprise to some people, but a hanging black man is not something that people want to see. Something about race tension because of previous years of segregation and actual hate crimes.

This is going to shock you, but I think the Obama version, while touching the subject of race, is just as legal. So please, don't call the race card on this. It's your first amendment at work and unlike other rights we gave up after 9/11, I really don't want to lose anymore rights. The terrorist already called check, don't let them call check mate. The important thing to know here is that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.


Again, just because you have the freedom
to say it, doesn't mean you should...

I lived in the South for a good year. I drove past "KKK BBQ THIS SATURDAY!" signs. As a minority, this made me sweat a little, but in all truths, this is not that. This isn't the racism that occurred for the greater part of American history. This is touching on hanging effigies of that from France when they beheaded and demanded change.

A burning or hanging effigy simply signifies that they disagree with the policies of the effigy. It's a form of protest. It's not the same as when racist got African Americans and hung them. To claim that they're the same is... well, it's demeaning to the suffering that all those who were victims of real hate crimes. It's a different meaning altogether.


I'm convinced it's the red pickup truck that
totally makes it... though yes, they'd be hosting
a clan BBBQ sometime soon...

If anything will come from this, it'll be that Chad Michael Morrisette, a professional window display designer, was seeking attention and got it by hanging a doll up with a Palin style dress. People will praise him, some will hate him. He gets his 15 minutes of fame and he gets put on an FBI watch list.


This one takes it a bit far...

So now the real question is should we have the right to this sort of freedom of speech? I say yes. It's really not up for question. Our nation was founded on the ability to say whatever you want. No matter if it ranged from logical and constructive to a better society to just about insane gibberish. The difference, and the line once crossed is when your freedom of speech crosses over to the point where it becomes a threat. Ol' Redondo Beach crazy up there with all the blood and what not.. that may be taking the effigy a bit far. So far that even McCain supporters were begging her to take it down. Who wouldn't? A knife sticking out of his neck? Yeah.. if the hanging him wasn't enough...

Don't take away our rights. We've had too many of them stripped from us in an effort to protect us from terror. We're only creating a situation where we're more terrified by how little we can actually do in this free country. It's your given right as an American to express yourself, including your distaste for someone's political views. But just because you have the right to do something, doesn't mean you should.

BIDENG OFF A PIECE OF THAT <--JO BIDEN ON THURSDAY

Notorius L.E.V.I up in this mother

Levi Johnston back in your shit, in full FX yall. Things have totally flipped upside down since last week so let me just give you the rundown on all this crazy shit.

First up, I got high as fuck last week and Willow fuckin called me at like 2 AM from New York or some shit and I was like "talk me through while I rub one out" and she was all "its like 5 oclock here what are you crazy." Damn girl I saw you on the TV and your ass looked fine, but she was all road blockin my shit. Anyway, word somehow got back to Bristol and of course she goes crazy over it because of pregnant hormones. Im not pointin any fingers but I suspect carol fiorina that dumbass because bitch got sent to the minor leagues for being a jackoff and now she hates mrs. palin.

So me an bristol have a fight, but it turns out good because we make up and she is totally gettin ready to give me a BJ when the friggin security guys knock on the door. We had some visitor from all those Maclain lawyers that are up here for something about the troops or something, I don't know I was lit when they told me the first time. Anyway this guy named Ambramowitz or some stupid shit tells me that because of the election suckin a huge dick and the polls suckin even bigger dicks I gotta marry Bristol like just about right away.

bristol and trips at some republican shit

Im like "no fuck that dude I am Levi fuckin Johnston this bird was born free! now get the fuck out before I put you through that plate glass" and he gulped like I was gonna throw his ass through the door onto the deck. I bet he was shittin huge dooks, but downside was Bristol started cryin and was all I thought you loved me Levi like I love you FUUUUUUUUCK

I cant deal with that shit, ya know? I fuckin lock up when bitches start really cryin and I'm huggin her and then I reach for her titty, ya know, just a little to feel the side or somethin because I was bored and shes like YOU DONT LOVE ME!!!! WHAT THE FUCK? I dont love you bitch? Whos idea was it to see if theres a special class to put twang in so he stop bein so fuckin stupid. Whos idea was it to get those matchin keepsake glass beer mugs with our faces lasered into that shit? That shit is bad ass dont try to take credit for that shit.

Don't love you? Pshh, great work detective sherlock thats why im sleepin on Bodies couch listenin to him fight with Rianna. I calmed Bristol down though got her to chill out and do some jager shots and then she started pukin and I was like "does this mean I dont get that BJ?"

Of course not. Of course not. Guess who always comes last? Me. My feelins. I've got shit too, right? Issues and shit. I need BJs.

So like then that Ambramowitz guy comes back and hes like "yo, Levi, you want a new motocross bike" and im like shit yea I wrecked my last one passin out on a frozen lake and drove it into a fuckin boat dock. Lucky I fell off and slid onto the rocks because I didnt even wake up and the shit caught fire and melted through the lake. Coulda been me on that shit. Thank god every day for that shit.

I aint gonna lie bro shaine might be pregnant too

Ambramowitz is like "all you gotta do is marry Britsol before the end of October and I can get you a motocross bike, snow machine, four wheelers and whatever" I was like, fuck it, if he's just throwin shit out there get me some singles for shaine and jasmine to double dance at alaskan bush company, free wings for life from wings street, some new skates, you know, shit I need for the baby.

Dude was like "sure whatever Levi you the fuckin pimp daddy its yours" so the next day he shows up with just about everythin I asked for includin this laminated card that gets me free wings for a million years. I already used that shit like six times. Dude said its comin from some black account and dont worry or whatever the government is payin.

Oh, yeah, the other shit that is messed up is the debate shit. I almost forgot about that shit because I been doin wheelies down 5th street with jasmine on the back with her titties all out. I made that shit rain it was crazy. They gave me a special ATM card with the CIA symbol on it and I just put that shit in the ATM at great alaskan bush and out comes like 600 singles and its on.

This douche is the jo biden dude

So this squinty dude Jo Biden is workin with that Obamna guy and tryin to be Veep. I guess hes some sort of homo from New York or some shit. Rides the train all the time. His whole family died or some shit so hes in politics to avenge them like some sort of gayass rambo. Bro, no matter how much socialism you pass for illegal immigrants it cant bring back your faggot wife.

The dude is a total chodelover but the liberal media has it in for mrs. palin on account of she is a hot bitch with fine ass titties and loves guns and babies and shit. The media thinks Trend is her baby, which is cool with me because bitches in the club is like that alien from species. If they know you had a retarded baby with them crazy Chinese eyes they will never hop up on your dick.

Anyway nonwithstanding bitches triflin in the club on my genes the media has this story they made up like mrs. palin is dumb as fuck and cant answer shit. BS. She is smart as hell. If you ask her a crossword she knows that shit like instantly. She is always yellin out shit on jepardy or guessin fuckin wheel of fortune before any vowels get bought. Seriously.

Bitch is scary smart. She knows the capitals of like half the states and the only ones she cant get are those gay ass states like New York or Illinois where everybody knows its New York or Chicago or whatever but then they have a stupid fake capital for tourism.

Springfield? What the fuck is that I want some nasty ass giant pizza and some fuckin tix to see the blackhawks get trashed. Ha ha. AS BORAT WOuld say VERRY NIICE!

Oh shit dont let him use the picard manuver FUCK

Too bad for those faggots in the news media always talkin shit about mrs palin and all the liberals like obanama, who seems like a badass but I guess hes a fag. Shit he was in a helicopter wearin shades and shit and he looked like a baller but I guess hes JAB (just another bitch). Anyway too bad for all of them. Mrs. palin is at some sort of debate trainin camp. Its like the same shit delta force goes through when they gotta debate somebody like Iran or some shit. I havent heard who is trainin her, but it looks like captain riker from star treck.

everbody knows that dude was rough as hell and would as soon fuck a bitch up as look at her, but mrs. palin is tough as shit. I bet she not only gets on with commander riker but when he starts bustin out his trumpet solo she pulls out that flute and goes to to town on that shit. He'll be like "whoa those are crazy good skills" and shell be like "thanks, but you might want to look behind you" and when he turns to look behind him shell make the deabte point and win the debate.

So look out jo biden. Expect the unexpected!!

Oh yeah and before I go I gotta remind you guys. My nigger Tucker in LA took a shitload of money that the government was giving me and hes gonna shot a porno and then well split it 50/50. Basically its autobigraphical and I wrote all the scripts and shit. Hes castin for mrs palin right now.

Theres a great opportunity for when I come to LA next saturday for you to give me a BJ and then ill pee on you in a Hummer. Don't worry, I dont have to do you in the butthole if yall dont want to. Its up in the air, ya know? If you look like mrs. palin just contact Tucker.

Whatever, well just throw some wig and stupid ass glasses on a fine bitch if nobody shows up. That Tina Faye bitch gots a good mrs palin look going. so if palins busy bashing some douche in a deabte, that snl trim can fill in.

LATER FAGS!

- LEVI

- Levi "HOckey" Johnston

BEING PIMP AND DEFENDING MY BITCHES,

LeVI UP IN DIS BITCH AGAIN!

Whatcha lookin' at, skinny punk? Yeah. I know. I said I was putting this shit on hold till the shit stopped getting real. But you know what. I saw a bunch of you cock faggots bashin' on the milf. aNd I don't mean bristol. Damn retards keep flyin' out o fher cooch I can't plug it up in time, yo.

first off I saw this Story.

Local restaurant creates Palin sandwich

ANCHORAGE, Alaska-- A local restaurant is incorporating politics into its menu.

Lion's Den restaurant in Midtown Anchorage has created its own specialty: the McPalin Grilled Pig Sandwich. Lion's Den owner Dale Keefe says he normally keeps politics out of work conversation, but when he was making sandwiches with his crew last week, the big top news story was Barack Obama's comment, "You know, you can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig."Obama's comment began Keefe's political food creation.

The McPalin sandwich has grilled pork tenderloin on it, with caramelized apples, red onions, melted cheddar cheese, and crisp bacon. Most food creators add some type of garnish such as parsley or fruit to top off their dish, but Keefe decided to do something a little more personal. The sandwich is served with a side of lipstick and fries. The McPalin grilled pig sandwich runs for about $13, and has been selling out.

W.T.F. $13 bucks? For a sandwich? For dat much I could just buy a couple of ounces and blow some smoke in the tard babies face. But then they get me on the fact that I'd be eating mrs. Palin. I think we all know how much of a milf she is. Oh man, I would take that Palin and munch on it all-night-LONG! Yeah!

Comes with a lipstick? Please, I come with a pink lipstick to have her put on her lips, if you get what I'm sayin'. Yo. And fuck you Obanana, with your lipstick comment. You made that bitch come home crying. I couldn't try to get my game on because of your trash talking. You never read the Game or anything? Shit man, you know how much of a pain in the ass it was trying to get some after that emotional shit? not even bristol wanted to give it up.


You can put lipstick on dez nuts
but they'll still be dez nutz.

The old dead dude was chilling back over here the other day. I thought he was dead sitting on the couch all pale and shit. I poked him with my bong and he woke up and was muttering about going to some star wars senate and voting. I told him votings for pussies and bitches, Which are you? Then he shut up. Yeah, that's right. Levi showing his mad pimp skillz.

He started babbling on about some vote to save the market from crashing and I was not even bothering to pay attention. Markets can't drive you stupid fuck. How would they crash? Anywayz, he realized I was spouting off wisdom and I popped in From Russia, with Love. That james bond movie is the shit, yo. He passed me his medical marijuana that he had cause of his huge boil on his face and we toke'd it up.


Look at that pussy act like he's Bond.
Faggot, you aint no bond! aND my tard baby
aint getting no tiara. I'm the only king of this castle

Then you got katie curic talking shit to her in front of her own face in them interviews. What the fuck. I bet you thin ass is just jealous that Palin was some hockey mom and was governor and shit. nOT like you who has what? A failed cbs news job? Shit, you should have just stuck to that morning news shit I used to flip on when I came home after banging bristol.

Bristol's been all stressed out that mrs. Palin is going to go stand infront of some hall on thursday and debate some old douche. I'm hoping that it helps in making this knocked up stuff go away. Cause I saw on house once that it happened that way. I don't got no money for champaign and the last time we tried that, we got retard baby and all. So no go on that shit, you hear.


You know what Im talkin' bout! YEAAH!

tHen when I was cleaning up Tards shit on the floor, cause I spent the diaper money on those Palin sandwiches, I read this shit.

Fatwa against Zardari for flirting with Palin

New Delhi: A Pakistani cleric has issued a fatwa against Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari for flirting with US Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

Maulana Abdul Ghafar of Islamabad's Lal Masjid said that Zardari's behaviour was un-Islamic and that the President has shamed the entire nation.

The Maulana said that President Zardari's indecent gestures, filthy remarks and repeated praise of a non-Muslim lady wearing a short skirt is not only un-Islamic but also unbecoming of a head of state of a Muslim country.

That's what you get, new Deli. What the fuck, why didn't anyone tell me there was a new deli opening up? I'm tired of eating fucking rations. Maybe they have some moose meat. When I'm over at mrs. Palin's pad, she's always cramming those hockey pucks at me. Bitch needs to learn how to cook a burger without burning that shit, yo.

But what the fuck, why you messing with my baby momma's momma? Fuckin' faggot. I'll fucking go over to that deli of your meat till its thin as slices, fucking faggot. Don't you know I'm trying to get a mother-daughter shit going? Just like that bang bus video where the dude picks up the chick and at the end he doesn't even pay her ass! YEAH!


I gave her that crabs she has. Yeah, you heard me.

Now I hear shit talk about how she'll be nonanswering answering during that masterbate on thursday and I agree. bitch always gives me nonanswers to when I ask for a little bit of that ass, you know. STIll, no need to have the shit talk that is going around.

Anywayz, I'm done with dat shit. Talk to you mother bitches later. And just stop talkin yor shit about Palin. Bitch is smart, you can tell that by her glasses. Damn nerd girl glasses reminds me of those skinny bitches I made fun of in high school before I dropped out. You know, the ones I secretly wanted to bang while I was copping a fill on Bristol.

So be warmed, you fuckers. I got my eye on you, and my third eye on bristol. BOo-yah! catch you fags on the flip side.

- LEVI

- Levi "HOckey" Johnston

SHIT JUST GOT REAL! SO I AM SUSPENDING MY SHIT

I am back to SUSPEND this shiT

Yo what is UP

So I figure you all know shit just got REAL in the election. That monster zombie dude pulled some move like in constantine when shit is goin totally wrong and so keanu reeve kills himself and freezes time and then the devil appears and keanu is like "yo lucifer you can have my soul but the gay dude got the spear of destiny in the pool and hes gonna fuck everything up." And then lucifer saves the day and puts everythin right and cleans shit up and then unfreezes time and keanu is cool.

This is basically what old dude who is makin Mrs. Palin into a VEep is doin'. Its called a metaphor. Look it up, dillweeds. He is gonna fuck up obanamas shit now with the help of george bush. The alliance cant be beat.

And like minds obviously think alike cuz I just thought up the same plan to deal with the stupid shit is runnin rampage in my life.

Let me tell you, too much drama is what you get from your babys mama.

First thing first, the ecomony is all fucked up. I dont know if yall been to alaska but shit is always like way too expensive so we get around that by gettin free money. Well shit is gettin too expensive so we need more free money, but the gaywads runnin this gay ass state are not hurryin up enough with the money. I dont know who the fuck is in charge of things right now but they need to fix that shit because a tim horton costs like 20 dollars.

Yo I rented the hulk from blockbuster and that shit was 9 dollars and that dont even make sense. How can the cost of a rental go up because of teh econmoy? they already bought that shit!

Thats nothin though because the economy problem is just something for bristol to bitch about. She is gettin hella fat and she is complainin too much. Shit with hotels spoiled her ass. after like two weeks sleepin in fine ass hotels in the lower 48 and doin bristol doggystyle on everythin includin this treadmill thing they put in one room that was badass we had in New York the bitch is spoiled

SHIT it IS fuckin tight as hell to get all the dominoes pizzas you can eat and just call up and they will bring you a beer without checkin id. shit yea that rules, but you gotta come back down from cloud 9 some time. Got to face reality. And now bristol aint facin shit because not only is her fat ass back in alaska AND stayin with me in my apartment that Mrs. palin bought me in anchorage, but she is also takin care of trog.

What THE fuck?!??

yo I dont even know if this is real or aliens
or what but fuuuuuck just a sweet
lil picture I thought I should show yall

when we gave that baby to mrs. palin she was all like "this is gonna be great trunk can be my baby now because everbody in shit dumb alaska loves a fuckin mommy." well shit i love a fuckin mommy too if shes on the business end of my dick and has huge titties, but now she is pawnin the baby off on bristol an me because her back was sore or some shit.

Some shit i am just realizing about bitches & babies since bristol and tramp moved in. especially bitches around babies with their hormones out and shit.

first thing that sucks mega dicks is bitch constantly is a nazi about blunts. OHHH don't smoke the chronic in here it makes me cough OHHHH dont stand over turk and blow rings in his face FUCK THAT lil nigga is retarded as fuck what the fuck does he care about gettin tore up?

oh yeah thanks there chuck todd im sure we feel more secure

So i take it outside but then this one secret security dude is like "son u better put that shit out or I gotta call the regular police" and I was gonna be all like "snitches get stitches motherfucker now what" and then he was flashin iron in his pocket so I know that nigga is a coward. I will give him his some day. hell be standin there lookin for snipers or whatever and I will just bust in on his ass with a pipe and knock him crazy. knock his ass retarded like little dope fiend my nigga trench

The other thing when a bitch gets pregnant she is cool for a while like you can do her without jimmy hats and just blow loads wherever, but just wait later she starts gettin diarea and is takin craps and fartin at night and she eats like NON STOP I was like slow the fuck down michael phelps you gonna win eight gold medals with all these frozen pretzels and fuckin ice cream you are tearin through

Bitch is like "YOU DONT RESPECT ME" and im like "BITCH dont talk to me about RESPECT I am lettin you give birth instead of throwin your ass down some stairs and you fuckin RECOGNIZE I put bristol on my finger even though like ten strippers would suck my dick right now if I called them"

Then a carollory of that rule is bitch cries any time you say anything or throw anythign at a wall. shit and then she cries and the retard baby cries and then the security secrets guy starts poundin on the door yellin "is everythin okay in there" and I'm like SHIT MOTHERFUCKER it would be if you could calm the fuck down you woke up the fuckin baby with all that poundin on shit.

So that is IT. I am through. I am not puttin up with any more of this shit. I am officially supsendin my shit. I am just gonna fuckin suspend and straighten shit out. WHATEVER it takes. I mean WHATEVER.

I will grab a bitch and drive her into the woods if I gotta. I will throw a brick at some punk in a suit with a hearin aid listenin to shit. I KNOW YOU ARE LISTENIN TO THIS SECURITY SECRETS DUDE. Hackin in with your robot ear listenin in on my private thoughts. Right now Im thinkin abotu a middle finger you see that??

Right now im on my friend bodies couch. Plus side is I can smoke chronic whenever and when the baby cries its not mine so I dont have to do shit I can just yell for it to shut the fuck up and go back to drinkin.

I can never get salt to stcik to shit that good and who tthe fuck eats MUSTARD on a pretzel??? Fuckin cheese, bro it makes everythin better

Down side is my phone is blowin up non stop with mrs. palins people tellin me i gotta come home and i gotta take care of bristol and its my patriotic duty to watch that stupid baby roll around like a worm. nigga cant even crawl he so stupid. Why would I want to watch that shit? It is boring as hell. He never rolls anywhere cool like into the kitchen to microwave me some frozen pretzels. No, dumb little faggot rolls up against the couch and his face is up against it and bristol comes in yellin and shit about how he prolly cant breathe SO WHAT?

Maybe he would breathe better if he could SMOKE UP. loosen up them lil lungs.

I mean GOD DAMN. What the fuck is up with that?

Annnnyway...

I will probably have to unsuspend my shit eventually. Like get back in the game. After all when mrs. palin turns into a veep shes gonna make me baron or whatever. I was lookin on the internet at scepters and there are some pretty sweet ones. I'm totally debatin which one to get.

Like my favorite is a snake that is goin up between the titties of this naked chick and then on top of her is a big ass skull and the snake is all curled around it and shit. Bad fuckin ass. But then there is this other one that is just the naked chick but her tities are bigger and there is more detail on her cooch.I think thatll be mine.

Ill let you know what i pick.

catch you fags on the flip side.

- LEVI

- Levi "HOckey" Johnston