Showing posts with label gold. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gold. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

ATM Cash To Gold

ATM Cash To Gold

So maybe you heard about this, but there's now going to be ATM's that sell Gold bars in America. No longer will the folks of Dubai be the only ones to flaunt their wealth with Gold from a vending machine, America's getting in on this action, starting in Las Vegas and Florida!
ATMs That Sell Gold Bars Are Coming Soon to America

A German firm that installs and manages gold vending machines aims to introduce them into the United States this year as it expands rapidly to take advantage of demand for bullion in times of economic uncertainty.

Thomas Geissler, creator of the Gold to Go brand and chief executive of Ex Oriente Lux, told Reuters on the sidelines of the London Bullion Market Association conference that the company aims to issue a "couple of hundred" machines next year.

Gold to Go launched its first ATM in Abu Dhabi's Emirates Palace hotel in May. They are now operating in luxury hotels in Abu Dhabi, Bergamo and Madrid as well as around Germany.

"This year we will issue around 35 machines, and for next year we are looking for bigger numbers," Geissler said on Monday, standing in front of one of the ATMS, which was coloured and shaped like a giant gold ingot close to 2 metres tall.

The machines, which update the gold price every 10 minutes to match international markets, take cash or credit cards and dispense small bars—including 1 gram, 5 gram, 10 gram and 1 ounce units—as well as coins such as South African Krugerrands, Australian Kangaroos and the Canadian Maple Leaf.

The company's plans include expansion into the United States this year, first in Florida and then in Las Vegas, Geissler said.

As for major gold consumers India and China, that will have to wait for next year, he said. "We have large interest in these countries," he said. "This is the task for next year."

Gold's rally this year has come largely as a product of investor unease over the economy.

This nervousness has been reflected in high sales of coins and bars from national mints, particularly last year as the world emerged from recession and this year as concerns have persisted about the risks to recovery.

With the gold price near record highs, there is a danger that demand from people on the street for gold products could tail off, however.

"Whether gold drops to $500 or goes to $2,000, we are living from small spreads, and we give people the best price they can get on a minute basis in the machine, so we're pretty fine with any price," Geissler said.

Gold to Go, which obtains the gold bars from refiners in Germany and Switzerland, first tested the machines in 2009.

Spot gold was quoted at $1,297.95 an ounce at 1235 GMT on Monday, up by over 18 percent this year and by over 80 percent since the unfolding of the credit crisis in late 2008.
FUCKING FINALLY! If you're like me, and I know you faithful readers are, you've been hoping for the day that we could get our sweet sweet gold bubbles out of the easiness that is an ATM. It's a good thing to since it can be pretty difficult to buy gold ingots out on the road.

I've always wanted a couple Krugerrand to hide under some crown molding or a foot board but I just don't give enough of a shit to seek out this machine. I can't wait for conservatives to head into restaurants and stores and try to pay in gold. If you thought that you get funny looks from attempting to spend that dollar coin, just wait till you bust out some gold bricks!

Who thought of this? Why yes, let's put thousands of dollars in untraceable gold left out in a dispenser! Brilliant idea! Though I presume that they'll only be in luxury hotels which already have high end security. Which I guess would be enough for common criminals, but I doubt it'll stop Danny Ocean.



Ha! 10g only? What are you? Poor? Anyone who buys less than 10oz at a time better be thrown out of my hotel. Not even worth tipping the illegal workers with.

This is a show of wealth and nothing more. It has nothing to do with "economic uncertainty" in any sense beyond the connection between the recent recession and the shift of wealth towards the top. People aren't running to these ATM's in some dramatic economic downturn, they are going to places that have them or simply using them as a way to cement their status symbols, and to buy into Glenn Becks fear mongering and gold advertisements.

Why yes, let's make a scare commodity extremely easy to get. What could go wrong with that? I hear there's one of these at the presidential palace in Abu Dhabi, I hate to think that it's anything more than tacky. But hey, let's bring them to Vegas and Florida!

If there is a collapse to the market, wouldn't those guys who bought gold 'on paper' be just as fucked as anyone else? At that point the person who put their money and bought a pressure canner and canned their green beans and other food is looking like the wise investor. The only way you can really get into that market is if you invested in a can opener, a gun or a stock pile of cans yourself.

It's been a couple of days since this story broke so I'm curious to see if anyone has been able to explain why someone would need gold.. on the go? It's as if your distrust for the currency you are currently holding is so strong that you wish to divest yourself of it, but not that much. Why hey, there's a gold machine, let me add some more dead weight to my persons.



The bigger question is aren't gold bars very heavy? I haven't actually ever touched a gold bar myself. So I don't have first hand knowledge of it, but the film Die Hard with a Vengeance made this aspect of robbing gold the tricky part and if there's one thing I trust it's Bruce Willis.

I just wonder why people believe that the value of an ounce of gold is any less imaginary than a piece of currency. I mean sure, the element gold has legit industrial applications, and it is scarce. But surely it is valued far greater than its actual market value would be if it were traded like any other element like, say, mercury or tungsten.

Much of its monetary "value" comes from perceived imaginary value for trade, not actual concrete usefulness. When civilization collapses that "value" will just disappear like it will for every other abstract representation of value. So it's basically just another form of currency, the supply of which happens to be fixed and finite.

If you think about it, money is actually just paper and papers not worth much at all, so my 100 page binder makes me rich. Dude, whoa, think about it! In this instance, it's pretty strange and cool that the paranoids buying gold has actually driven up the price of gold so their investment has paid off slightly... My, that doesn't sound anything like a bubble to me.

Archaeologists from the future are going to stumble across so many mummified obese Americans in their basements grasping on to their gold coins surrounding them and even choking their own dessicated maws.

I'll leave you with a little fact - Did you know that there is one ATM in Antarctica. It's at McMurdo Station and it is operated by Wells Fargo. I wonder when they will get one of these fine ATM's? I bet if you did knock over one of these, you could totally take it to cash 2 gold and get a sweet $50 bucks back.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Golden Showers

Golden Showers

I'm not even going to try to justify my title. Let's just say that you're pissing away more than just time reading this every day. You're literally pissing away gold!
Gold byproducts of aurtothiomalate urine separation : an analysis using a stochastic model for urine production

Abstract

This paper explores the stochastic properties of human urine production in order to assess the potential of harvesting gold byproducts of aurtothiomalate urine separation. The aim is to provide specific information about the dynamics of urine production at a microscopic level for the design and the control of the urine waste stream. Based on measured data a stochastic model is developed that is capable of providing stochastic information on the frequency, timing, and volume of urine releases into each single toilet in a catchment. It is then demonstrated in a virtual case study that the design of the human wastewater stream in terms of urine content can harness an average of 6.8e-4g of gold following a single dose of aurtothiomalate. The excreted gold was protein-bound in the high-molecular-weight (>> 150,000 dalton) and serum albumin fractions. Electrophoresis confirmed the presence of albumin, but showed that the other proteins present differ from those in normal or in vitro aurothiomalate-incubated human sera. The pattern of the proteins establishes that the proteinuria was of the glomerular type. The alterations in the previous gold distribution produced by incubation of the previous urine with the low-molecular-weight thiol penicillamine and with exogenously added aurothiomalate indicated the existence of a labile equilibrium of previous gold among protein binding sites in the previous urine. Incubation of rat and human sera and commercially prepared serum albumins with aurothiomalate increased the electrophoretic mobility of the gold ore. The significance of this change in electrophoretic mobility with respect to two models of previous gold binding by serum albumin is discussed.

While the article says you have to ingest gold to piss out gold and at that, you'll only get a very trace amount of precious metals that will be found in our urine, I've done a little math. Mainly because I'm bored and I write a lot, but this shows a little bit can add up to an incredible amount.
365 days/yr * 6 urinations/day * 6.8e-4 grams-gold/urination = approx 1.5g/year of gold per person Now, imagine a family of four, thats 6g/year per family - equivalent to about $180/year.
Now consider that gold is currently approx $30 per gram - source

I think that for an extra $180/year is enough to turn urine into a commodity for the lower-classes - that's a significant amount of supplementary income. Hell, here's a system that I just thought up from the top of my head (so I'm sure someone could do better): line up 7 coffee cans on a windowsill, pee in a subsequent one every day, and by the time you cycle around the air will have dried out last week's can. Anybody could do this! Even the poorest children can find coffee cans in the trash, and slightly wealthier (but still poverty-poor) families will amortize the purchase of 7 coffee cans with boosted gold production due to that extra coffee they'll drink!

This doesn't even mention all the money saved from lowered sewage and water bills!! The social impact of this study will be enormous. I'm started to get really excited. Picture this: Queensbridge's Marcy housing project with a row of drying urine cans on every window!

And if I'm not done going on mad ideas, Here's another little bit of math for you boot-strappers:
$45/person * 90% * 300,000,000 (population of America) = $12,150,000,000.
Let me repeat that: $12B in pure golden profit. For reference, Walmart's profit in 2008 was $13.4B (source) Within a generation we could have our currency backed by gold again, and America would be the richest country in the world. The poorest 90% could achieve greater social mobility and independence from government subsidy programs.

I think the first step is a publicity campaign, but I'm not exactly sure how it would happen. Not only would we need to squash the squeamish perception of the human body in a society still slaving under the weight of 19th century Victorian values, but make it "cool" as well. Does anyone have any ideas? Please e-mail me about this as this basically throws Ron Paul's whole idea of revertingback to the gold standard down the toilet!

While we're on the subject of making a buck off our bodies, how about selling skin? When I got my burn on my leg I was told that if I wanted to, they could take a chunk of skin off my ass to put on my leg to minimize scaring. I told them FUCK NO! I didn't want my ass to touch my burn. Not to mention I have a pretty decent ass. My leg, I could do without looking cool. My ass... shit, that stuff really comes into play in the bed room, you hear. So how about we sell burn victims some skin? It'll grow back and for those who don't care about your ass or have too much of it, it's perfect combination.

I know what you're thinking about the piss idea though. Wont everyone start cashing in on it? I'm sure you'll see a couple of ads on TV pop up for Cash-for-piss.com They'll offer you money in their pitch: "Send us your piss! we are buying your piss! call now and receive a free bag to piss in! postage paid! we send you a check!"

But then again, I can't picture that business model succeeding. It's only $.12 per day if you piss the max amount daily (Drink your water!) So unless you can ship a couple of liters around for less than $.12, it's not worth it to ship it. But then again, look at how my mind works at this wee hour in the morning. That's assuming you'd ship it in liquid form. It would be much more efficient, however, to ship the extract dried. Perhaps services that would process the raw dried urine would pop up where payday-loan and personal-cash-advance places are now? I can picture it working like Coin-Star, where you dump in a bucket full of dried stuff and it gives you 90% of the value in gold, taking 10% as a service charge. It seems reasonable.

I'm sure I'm going to get a ton of e-mails about this, so I'll just tackle it here. Yes, if the gold rush is nothing more than grizzly bearded miners pissing into a mining tray, then wouldn't the value of gold go down? HA! I say, it's a noble metal! It'll never go down. Did you know there's a gold toilet out there?!? See, if people are willing to flash the bling in every method possible, gold will always be the high standard!

Besides, even if the price of gold may goes down the pisser, cum pearl necklaces will always have in my heart. At least now I can make my own organic bootleg goldschläger. I do find it funny now. Think of all the rap stars with massive grills. Do you think that the status quo of having gold caps be the norm when we start making gold out of our piss? My dad used to say "If I ran GM, I wouldn't piss money down the drain like they do." Looks like he was completely wrong.

With all that said, aren't you glad I decided NOT to put pictures in this update?