Hot Topic: Tim Burton's Alice

Hot Topic: Tim Burton's Alice

So what's the word on the new Tim Burton Alice film? Let's go to a critic to see their reaction;

And then there's Johnny Depp. As disappointed as I am in Tim Burton on this film, multiply that by a thousand for Depp. I would like to formally request that Congress step in and pass a law that prevents him from working with Tim Burton anymore, because at this point, I think they're starting to actively hurt each other. There were years where I was a passionate Depp defender, when the mainstream had no use for him at all, and I still feel like his best performances are breathtaking to revisit. "Dead Man," "Donnie Brasco," "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas," and of course the twin triumphs with Burton, "Ed Wood" and "Edward Scissorhands." This time out, though, his work as the Mad Hatter is nigh unwatchable. It's a jumble of crazy voices and creepy make-up and shifting accents, and instead of coming across as someone genuinely damaged or mad or eccentric or fascinating, he just plain feels like he's trying too hard. And did anyone... ANYONE... really need a backstory for the Mad Hatter to explain why he's mad? No? Well, too bad, 'cause you're gonna get one. And it's really really stupid.

fffffffffffffffffuck. If that didn't rip this movie a new one, I don't know what did. It's getting some massive critical bashing



Now don't get me wrong, I'm actually going to shell out the money to see this one in theaters.. IMAX3D no less. I didn't even bother shelling out that money for Avatar. So that in itself is some compliment that I'm willing to spend the money on Alice.. Though, to be honest, I'm looking forward to re-watching the Tron Legacy trailer again than anything else.

What can I say, as much as I am a Tim Burton fan, I'm just not really feeling this one.

Maybe it's because all the advertising I have seen for this film called Alice in Wonderland, there's very little Alice in it. She has very little lines in ALL of the teasers and trailers and it's clear that this is Tim Burton Presents: Johnny Depp as the Madhatter fru-fru'ing around.



Tim Burton was awesome when he was a kitschy director. His movies included a lot of retro Americana and love of B-movies. A big part of what got him noticed early on was a knack for "creepy" abstract design. This was all derived from Halloween imagery and 50's Sci-fi/Horror. Even the Batman movies were rooted in retro noirish serials and had strong comedic villains to keep things lighthearted

I'm not sure how long it's been like this but I'm not sure I like it. There's something cynical abut how Tim's films are marketed. It's like Disney puts their name on everything and you can expect a certain amount of fluff and happy endings. Whether that's his fault or not, I don't know, but his trademark visual quirkiness is something I personally am getting tired of and there's something about it nowadays that makes it seem like it came off a factory conveyor belt. Suffice to say, Tim Burton these days is not so much the name of a director as it is a brand name that can be sold to people at Hot Topic.



The man made Mars Attacks! for goodness sakes. While it's not the most well loved film, it's certainly of a completely different aesthetic from this whole gothic fairytale kick he's been on lately. Need I remind you that it ends with Tom Jones surviving an alien invasion, and a bird landing on his arm as he starts singing in the middle of the desert?

It basically comes down to this. Tim Burton needs to go back to being John Waters in a vampire costume.

Think about it. Didn't you find it odd that Cry Baby felt EXACTLY like a Tim Burton Film (complete with Johnny Depp!) even though it's a John Waters film? Yeah. That's what I thought. Burton is the cinematic equal of a commercially successful author that really needs an editor. So maybe a producer strong enough to bully him around. Though the same can apply to Johnny Depp. Most people are just letting him "Johnny Depp" up the piece rather than pushing him to the high level of performance he is capable of.

Tim Burton at his best was Ed Wood, and the reason it is his best film is because you wouldn't be aware he was involved if you went in uninitiated. Alice in Wonderland feels like it's marketed as "Homogenized Tim Burton film product", but a lot of his work, especially the earlier stuff, has a hell of a lot of heart and more going on than just the visuals.



I think the real pisser is the placement of his name on other directors' work. Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline, 9... People actually think these are Tim Burton movies and that isn't right. His name wasn't on most of these, but they used the phrase "From the Director of Nightmare Before Christmas" but that's where the problem falls. Tim Burton DIDN'T direct Nightmare Before Christmas! This is what people think. This is wrong.

While Tim Burton wrote the NBC book, but it was NOT directed by him. The whole "From the Director of NBC" Piggybacking on a previous deception is also deceptive. Last year when Coaline came out, I had this very conversation with a friend of mine where they believed a new Tim Burton movie was coming out. I thought they meant Alice, which was still a year away. They were talking about Coraline and that the ads made said from the director of NBC..



I'm willing to bet that they intentionally said Coraline was "from the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas" without specification to dupe the Burton fools. Let me get this straight. Coraline was NOT Tim Burton. The real magic as to why The Nightmare Before Christmas was so amazing on the screen was NOT because Tim Burton. It was due to the real director. And yes, I shouldn't lump all the Hot Topic shoppers as Burton fans. I mean, the Nazis liked Wagner, but that doesn't reflect on Wagner at all.. Not unless Wagner had a Nazi party for his latest recordings like Burton did with Hot Topic... Oh look, a Hot Topic Alice in Wonderland event..

I've always thought Gilliam is what Burton would be like if Hot Topic didn't exist. Visually appealing, lacking decent story or direction, and utterly ignored by the public. But oh how I love him so.



Besides, adding a sinister twist to Alice In Wonderland is a gigantic cliche these days. Especially after that freaky film in the 80's and especially after American McGee's Alice. I just re-read Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass a couple of weeks ago and somehow I managed to enjoy them even though they weren't dark, cynical, gritty, violent, disturbed, or twisted.

I guess I'm just not a cool modern dude.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a Brilliant Film

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a Brilliant Film

I've admired Gilliam for a long, long time. Growing up watching Monty Python it was only a matter of time before I moved on to his films. I practically watched Time Bandits every weekend as I remember it being on TV all the time. Now if there's a movie that can scar you as a child, it's one about time jumping midgets. Let me tell you that I seldom ever wanted my parents to make any toast after that film.



But when I say that every Gilliam film is really great and totally worth your time, it's because I mean it. Even people who don't like Gilliam can admit that his films have the best peasants ever. Above all, he really is a master of creating environments. Every single one of his films is chalked full of wonder and the setting and visuals will accompany them. From the dystopian futures of Brazil and 12 Monkeys to the fairy tale atmosphere of Time Bandits and Baron Muchausen, it is always an immersible, unique, and above all believable environment that the audience is brought into no matter how absurd it seems.

Brazil, Time Bandits, and Fear and Loathing are some of his stronger works to me. Brazil takes the idea of a this dystopian future but incorporates ridiculous aspects of modern society into it such as hyperbolic bureaucracy and cosmetic surgery. Few films have made me ever feel so rapped and claustrophobic. The city landscape created feels dark, tall, methodical, and inescapable. The minimal florescent or neon lights give a strong sense of a cold world.



Then Fear and Loathing, based on Hunter S. Thompson's book about his adventures as a Journalist in Vegas covering a motorcycle race... This Book/Director pairing was perfect. The film itself carries the atmosphere of being in Vegas. The smell of the sweat seeping into neon pink shag carpeting, blanketed with cigarette smoke comes through the monitor. The mix of Terry Gilliam visuals as well as Hunter S. Thompson's drug induced trips bring out these horrible acid flash backs that will cause even the most straight edge to feel like they've just had an hour long acid trip.

Then you have Depp's portrayal of Thompson being one of the best roles of his career. There are people who treat Fear and Loathing as a funny drug film, similar to Cheech and Chong or Half Baked and completely miss the point. It's not about how drugs are funny and you see reptiles. It's about how drugs completely ruined the revolution of the late 60's. Depp and Del Toro are pathetic sad characters who are still trying to ride that crazy wave in the most surreal city in the country. You're not supposed to watch them and think, "Haha, they're totally tripping out, that would be fun." The point is that people like Depp wanted fun and consciousness and understanding, with drugs, but instead fucked themselves up and are still trying to regain that illusion of a great wave of change. Depp's delivery of the "High Water Mark" monologue is heart breaking and all this poetic monologue is only helped with the Terry Gilliam signature.



Depp is back in Terry's latest film The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Sadly it was because of situations that aren't the best.. and in fact, are just more reasons to add to the list of what has become a sort of curse for Gilliam. I don't even have to get into the most obvious note of his latest film, as it was the last film that Heath Ledger was working on when he died. The way Terry Gilliam got around the fact that he couldn't 'Weekend at Bernie's' the body into his film. Depp takes on the role as well as Jude Law and Colin Farrell... Yeah, Even Colin Farrell. I know, what the fuck, right? I can't see or even think about Colin Farrell without remembering how completely disgusting he was in that horrible remake of Miami Vice.

And after letting it sit for a couple of hours, what can I say about this film that isn't praise. It's a film that goes after my heart and much like it did with my attention, it never let go. What more can you ask for in a film... namely a Terry Gilliam film. This film had it all. A sharp critique of the modern western society by implicitly linking its lack of interest/faith in broad cultural narratives with its decline. Tom Waits "devil" character does this perfectly. Then you have the atheistic critique of blind faith in a very accessible and tastefully revolutionary manner as seen both by Old Nick proving that the world is not kept running by the monks' superstitious story telling and Tony's much prized tool for salvation when he needed it the most.



Lily Cole's cleavage was nothing to scoff at. It reminds me of those strange and foreign feelings I had as a child watching Baron munchausen.... What can I say, I like red hair. Maybe it's cause it's something "rare" or maybe we all hate gingers and I'm just fetishizing the enemy all the time. I mean, the Irish people became certified 100% white a long time ago.... But now I'm rambling so back to the topic... as much as I was scared by midgets, Verne Troyer is great in his role in this and erases the over use of mini-me that I have tried to block out of my mind since Austin Powers. It needs to be mentioned again, Tom Waits as the Devil just was amazing on all levels.. Then again, Tom Waits rocks in every film -especially Mystery Men.

All around the acting in Dr. Parnassus was quite strong. Many people will see this simply to see how the Joker really died. I suppose that will increase Terry Gilliam's viewership by double which is a good thing. Poor guy. I remember watching Lost in La Mancha at the New Beverly and while it was fairly busy of a night since it was a double feature with Adventures of Baron Munchausen, it was still fairly small crowd even for an Art crowd.



Funny enough, the man who killed don quixote is set to finally get finished come 2010 with a 2011 release date.. I'll believe it when I have my ticket to opening night, but if Lost In La Mancha is any indication on how much of a nightmare that film was to make, not even Johnny Depp's freed up production schedule will make Terry Gilliam's job any less of a Mission: Impossible.

Then again, if he can deal with one actor dying in the middle of his production and still finish it with little to small amounts of the story being a bit scattered because of the character's death, I suppose Gilliam has shown that he can face the vast void of shit hands being dealt and come out winning against the house. Talk about rolling with it. And by it I mean death of an actor.



Whenever I bring up the subject of Gilliam, most people, that is if they have even seen a Gilliam film, will complain that he almost never has a satisfying ending to his movies. He always ends on an anticlimactic or dismal note like he's playing a prank on the audience. For this very reason I love his films. I mean, really. He's a genius. Who else could make a movie about time traveling midgets?

I guess I'm just waiting for Terry Gilliam films to get popular enough to warrant the porn industry to make parodies of his films. I can't wait for "the whorarium of doctor pornassus: let your imagination cum alive" Till then, you may want to check out this film in theaters as it really is something special.

Oh yeah.. did I mention Lily Cole?

Go Ask Alice, When She's Ten Feet Tall!

Go Ask Alice, When She's Ten Feet Tall!

It's a Hot Topic store's wet dream. No worries about any sort of resession, we have a Tim Burton movie coming down the line. Hundreds of Hot Topic jobs will be saved now! Even before pictures were released today, I'm sure the company had a slew of t-shirts already ready to get printed up. Now their job will be a little easier as today they released some official character pictures and some concept art through USA article.



The surprising thing is that the film will be somewhat of a sequel to Disney's original animated film, while still being a direct adaptation of Lewis Carrol's work. Which is a bit confusing, but sure, why not. So what's this all about? The break down

The traditional tale has been freshened with a blast of girl power, courtesy of writer Linda Woolverton (Beauty and the Beast). Alice, 17, attends a party at a Victorian estate only to find she is about to be proposed to in front of hundreds of snooty society types. Off she runs, following a white rabbit into a hole and ending up in Wonderland, a place she visited 10 years before yet doesn't remember.

While I'm sort of an Alice purist, going so far as having a lot of copies of the original for no real reason, I did love the American McGee's game for all it was worth. I played the shit out of that game. So maybe that's why I have hope for the films as well. I mean, as long as it's full of drug references and logic puzzles, I'll be happy.

Now of course it's Tim Burton, so it could be total shit. His recent films have ranged from Okay to Awful. So maybe he's going to need a little help from his friends to make sure this isn't the on again/off again Burton film. Because really, this film should change the name to Tim Burton Presents: "Cast All Your Friends"

Returning Burton actor and fan favorite of all tweens for the last 30 years we have Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter


Is it me or does he look a bit like Elijah Wood in drag? I dunno. Just saying. I'm a bit worried about Depp. I'm concerned that Tim Burton is going to try to beef up the role of the Hatter so he can please all the Depp/Hatter fan dipshits out there who walk around Disney in that large Mad Hatter Hats. While I'm a fan of Johnny Depp from way back in the day when he was a narc at the local High school, I don't want the Hatter running Mad on the story.

Helena Bonham-Carter as The Red Queen

Wow. They actually enlarged her head to make her look like the original drawings. That's an interesting twist to it. I mean, I guess she's used to having a little bit of a big head.. she is sleeping with the director. Rim shot! Oooh yeah.

Then we get to an actress that I have a crush on for I don't know how long. Anne Hathaway is just really pretty. What can I say, but she shows up in this as The White Queen.


I like the design of the Queen of Hearts better than the White Queen, who just looks like Galadriel meets Jadis or something. She's too bright. I mean, this is a Tim Burton movie, right? Oh who am I kidding, I'm madly in love with Anne Hathaway that I watched The Devil Wears Prada (be it free on the lot) because she was in it. But I'm not certain she makes a good White Queen. Besides that, Carol Channing is the only real White Queen


Moving on to the rest of the cast for this film. We have Stephen Fry playing a wide grinning cat as well as Christopher Lee in the mix making things nice. Then you have the real gem of all this, Alan Rickman. Yes, that's right. Alan Rickman is in it. Though I would have liked to see him as the Mad Hatter instead but him as the Cattapiller works out alright. If there's someone I'd watch a movie for, it's Alan Rickman. The man can act. Though none of this goes against my statement that this is just Burton's usual cast of actors, perhaps we should move on to the score.

And if you're asking who's going to compose the music... Well then, you're not a Tim Burton fan. With the cast being so many friends of his, I'm sure we can already guess who will be doing the score for this. Which isn't a bad thing. I'm a long time fan of Oingo Boingo. Was even there for the farewell Halloween tour. But maybe it's time to get someone different?



It's CREEPY... but WHIMSICAL! Oh, Tim Burton, how I'd love to kick you in the nads and then give you a hug and ask for your autograph on my Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington doll. Because we all know that Nightmare Before Christmas is a great movie but it was directed by Henry Selick.

Now, I actually got the chance to get on the set of the film on Sony's lot a bit ago. It was a strange experience. A little behind the scenes piece of information though, when you're on the set of something, it looks a lot different than when you see it on screen. Consider it a piece of movie magic. Sets, while huge in size, are only 1/10th the actual crispness and beauty they are on the big screen. Colors come to life with the use of computer manipulated software and of course, you're only seeing a fraction of the actual action taking place.



Much the same as when I worked on Arrested Development. While I would hear plot points and see where the story was going, watching it on tv all pieced together was a whole lot funnier. As if I was looking at a lot of puzzle pieces scattered on the floor and then see what they make up when they're finally put altogether. So my time on the Alice set, while weird and filled with wonderment, was also not as clear as seeing this new information on the film online.

Tim Burton is going to have to take it up a notch in making this his usual weirdness. Considering we already have Svankmajer's version of Alice in Wonderland, it's going to take a lot to really make this story weird.



But hey, if you want a dark and edgy version of Alice in Wonderland right now and complete with pedophilia undertones, just watch Svankmajer's version. That was an acid trip without having to wake up in a cardboard box the next morning.



But hey, Tim Burton should be able to make a new version of the film that takes place 10 years after the cartoon while also making it good and not at all like Return to Oz, right? Right? I mean, I like the concept sketches mainly because those feel very in line with both the original Disney film and the works of Lewis Carrol. Besides, this can't be as bad as Planet of the Apes, right? Right?

If you'll excuse me, I'm running late for an important date!