Twas the night before Con tickets and all through the basement Not a geek or nerd tweeting, not even a text sent
Their browsers were pointed to the homepage with care In hopes that con's registration wouldn't leave them with sad stares
The fanboys were nestled all snug in tuantuan sleeping beds While visions of slave Leia's danced in their heads.
When out on the net arose screams spreading I sprang from the bed to see what was trending
Away to the net I flew like a bat-mite Flipped open my laptop and logged on to con's site
When what to my wondering fears should appear But 404 Epic site failure, oh dear! Come on back up server kick in full gear.
Fifteen minutes to fill out the application form If I can't get a ticket, Con committee I will scorn!
Paying one hundred and five, with no preview night attached Damn, looks like I'll be in line at con for next year's first ticket batch.
Finally tickets were had and dreaming can start For February and July were not that far apart
Thoughts of con's jammed pack potential filled this Cylon slipper wearer's mind! What's in store for this year? Excitement in all shapes and kinds
With a con book in hand and a watch on my handle I'll get ground floor info racing from panel to panel.
But more distracting than Lantern chicks, the cosplay will be So many dorks and freaks, dressed up in neat things to see!
Now Doctor! now, Jedi! now Disco-Boba! now, creepy tight pants tron dude Can I snap a picture. Another, another! Maybe one not so lewd?
Half off trades and artist sketches for dollars and dollars Famous comic writers and artist, it'll make this fan holler
Oh, Baronesses! what fat darth! nice hats worn by brown coats-o-many! So many storm troopers, But no time to chat, I got to get to ballroom twenty!
Gas lamp district will be there to reap the post evening enjoyment With after party and festivities, I'll surly need more employment
So much fun to be had at comic con this year And con's staying in San Diego, so nothing to fear Except for the nightmare of getting tickets to next years...
Here it is, all you nerds. It's the night that you need to be tucking yourself in with your Chewie stuffed doll early tonight in your Battlestar Galactica sheets and turning off your green lantern night light off a bit early. Tomorrow morning is the big day!
Now I know what you're thinking. "Well, isn't that every Friday night for a nerd?". While I'm not going to judge if someone of the geek variety was staying home for the sake of making sure that Fringe got it's ratings up, there's another reason why the nerd community will be getting sleep early tonight. Tomorrow morning is when tickets finally go on sale for San Diego Comic Con
I know, it feels like its been forever since they were originally going to be sold but then come system error after system error. All this after a long drawn out fear that comic con wasn't going to be in San Diego and was potentially moving to L.A. or Vegas in the years to come.
According to the Comic con website, they did do the test a couple of weeks back to see if this new system would work for them. Not sure what was so wrong with the one from last year where they just opened tickets up and allowed them to sell out without creating some huge hype behind it. But they tell us that it shouldn't crash...
Let's just say that I still have my doubts. I mean, what was up with that one attempt to just move it to 6am PST in hopes that a lack of West Coast people wouldn't be awake to help control traffic to the site? Really?! REALLY?!!?
But hopefully that nightmare can be over and you can at least sleep comfortable knowing that you got yourself tickets to get into the show. At that point it's time to move to the next nightmare in trying to book a hotel room.. Dun dun DUN!
Last year the booking system was awful. It didn't help that the Hyatt seemed to be in favor of screwing out comic con folks to appeal to Al Gore's little shindig. Now I'll be honest, I love the Hyatt. It's not as close as the Marriott, but man does that downstairs bar attract the big names
What can I say, I love going to comic con. Such fun time even with all the crowds and madness behind it. Hell, I need to take off my socks to count the times I've been and even though I question my willingness to do it again the next year while I'm at con faced with the insanity, I'm always still going back for more.
So best of luck to one and all in getting tickets tomorrow. I'm sure there's going to be plenty of passes.. just not sure how badly SDCC will mess up some companies' server center.
I was going to call this "Comic Con - Let's Get This Party Started" because I always feel like parties should be started up in here, you know. But I couldn't pass up the chance for this one. What made it so topical? Well, more on that later.
First.. well.. wow. First, how do you even start to talk about this years Comic con? How about long before comic con even started and the crazy folks at the Westboro Baptist Church said they were going to protest it. You know the ones, those that say God hates fags and what not. Yeah.. them. Only they didn't know what they signed up for when dealing with nerds. We don't give no fuck!
An anti-gay protest from the Westboro Baptist Church at the massive comic convention Comic-Con has been muffled by a humorous counterprotest.
The Westboro Baptist church has gained notoriety for anti-gay and anti-government protests, picketing the funerals of US soldiers, celebrating the deaths of Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger and making hate-filled diatribes against Lady Gaga, President Obama and Sweden.
But they met their match with convention-goers at the massive science fiction/comics event in San Diego, California, who countered the demonstration with witty signs, lurid costumes and mocking chants.
"What do we want? Gay sex! When do we want it? Now!" shouted members of the crowd.
Apparently the church protesters dispersed when they got completely overwhelmed by nerds and their signs. I'm glad to see people counter-protesting Westboro supporters, they are quite possibly the most vile modern christian sect. imaginable. Well, at least they aren't violent...
Though let's be honest. Fred Phelps is a pretty genuinely broken, hateful man and he's done hjs level best to infect the rest of his family with his hatred. If even half the things I've heard about him are true, then he's truly insane and with some terrifying violent tendencies. But it seems that all those violent tendencies are centered into brainwashing his children into his belief.
All of these signs made me laugh when I walked by them at con during the protest. The Odin one was really comical. Not many people have picked up the good book of thor #5, I'd say. And I completely agree that God Hates Michael Bay. I'm pretty sure he supports competent editing in films.
But this was probably the best way to deal with them. Everyone knew arguing with the WBC was useless, so they just went with overwhelming them with a heap of internet memes and nerd related humor. It was interesting to see WBC try to handle all of the senselessness directly targeted at them for a change.
And for those of you who think that the best way to deal with WBC is to not give them any attention at all and let them go away. I can't really believe there's some people who continue to pull out that completely ridiculous chestnut of "You're just giving them attention, if we ignore them they'll go away".
This tactic works in the same way as "it's just cancer! Don't give it any attention. If you just ignore it maybe it'll go away!" Because just ignoring the WBC won't have them go away. You should fight hate with love, injustice with justice. You can't out-hate people like the Phelps, so it's really the best tactic to nullify their message with just out doing their absurdity
It's rather funny that the WBC folks have the police around them at all times and they go after the folks who they are protesting against to prevent any sort of violence to happen. Though really, the whole thing was comedy at best when they just walked away.. realizing that they got out-trolled by comic con folks.
You could almost say that you would give your left eye to see that. Which is just what one person did when an argument broke out in Hall H.
Between the just ending Resident Evil: Afterlife panel and the Marvel Comics panel a fight between two fans erupted when one of them wouldn't change seats. Sadly, the scene ended in bloodshed as the argument turned violent resulting in the man who wouldn't move being stabbed in the eye with a pen.
The victim has been stretchered out and the attacker (both adults) has been removed from the convention center by police in handcuffs, his exclusive Comic-Con Harry Potter T-shirt soaked in blood.
Yes, that's right. Someone stabbed a dude in the eye with a pen so the Thor and Avenger panels had to be delayed. By Odin's Beard, is there no honor in Hall H? And why did he do it? Because the guy wouldn't change seats.
Okay, that's a little vague. Let me describe what happens in Hall H. Last year when Twilight came to con, the line for Hall H started up much earlier - the night before the panel was set to start. So now the line for it starts up extremely early, so much so that you really don't even need to book a hotel room for con anymore. You could just be homeless.
So all these people wait in line and in the morning they're allowed in. They find their seats and since the programing for the day varies, at many points people just leave. They were there to see what they wanted and they leave. So between programs/panels with the people leaving their seats for good, other people sort of move up in chairs. It's a crazy situation only made crazier.
So I'm guessing that this poor joe was saving a seat and Harry Potter fan #1 wanted it. After losing his own chair in risking to venture off and find a better one, he got pissed and they got into a fight and the pen ended up being mightier.
Ha! That's absolutely horrible that someone got stabbed in the eye over something so trivial. That's also got to be one of the worst places to get stabbed in too. Over a seat at comic con. Do you know how many jokes will be made because of this single event for however many years of comic con to come?
Then think about how prison is going to be in terms of extra levels of torment and hell when people find out that you stabbed a guy over moving up a couple of chairs to see the next panel. Then again, maybe they may think he's extra tough when he comes in with his blood stained Harry Potter t-shirt. "Stay away from that guy, he rolls with the west side Gryffindors!"
Though I have to feel for the guy who got the pen to the eye. I also received a sharp injury at comic con. I got a splinter in my fucking throat. And no, it wasn't during the panels. I actually had an amazing Thursday at the con. Finding a tron scavenger hunt piece and getting into three after parties that night.
But when Friday night rolled around I went with my friend to one City of Heroes after party at the Hardrock hotel and there they had some free food. Meat on bamboo skewers.. Which seemed like the perfect thing. I de-meated my skewer and chewed on the meat and I guess somewhere in there was a splinter and it got lodged in my throat under my tonsils. It hurt like fuck and I was in the bathroom trying to get it out for some time.
Nothing worked and I ended up just waiting till Sunday with this gag inducing stick in my mouth when I saw a doctor. Eventually got the 1cm stick out of my mouth with tweezers. Yes, that's right.. Ugh. Let me tell you, getting staked at comic con is no fun.
Ah, a splinter the size of a fucking penny stuck in the throat. Gotta love that bullshit. City of Heroes, I never played your game nor would I ever bother to.
But I still have to say that even though the two big stories of comic con were violence and stupidity in eating and protesting, there's reason for the mass migration of nerds to this convention center every year.. and sadly it's not for comics but for comic related items.
Look at the following piece for the upcoming Captain America film. It's a thing of beauty.
It's also the place were you see your comics come to life. In the form of some really scary shitty looking cosplayers (though, let's be honest - half the time it's an excuse to walk around half naked) to seeing props that will be used for future comic book summer blockbusters.
I never in my wildest imagination thought I would see the Infinity Gauntlet in person. I mean, look at this!
But even those props and what they might be used in isn't the real seller here. No, it's to see the comics come to life. And considering that this year had NO news or announcements in terms of comic books from either Marvel or DC at the biggest comic convention around, I guess the main focus had to be the films they were producing.
One of the highlight was when the Avengers finally Assembled. If there's any reason or justification for the Hall H violence that happened, it's that you get to see the cast and hear announcements for stuff that will be big news. Because hey, the Avengers did Assemble on stage.
For those of you not paying attention at home, we have;
Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow Chris Hemsworth as Thor Chris Evans as Captain America Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner / Incredible Hulk
For a company that had a lot of the characters sold off to other film studios in movie rights, to get the Avengers movie off the ground and see these comic characters class is something utterly huge. I mean, it's a long way from when we first got film/tv crossovers such as this fine example of Thor vs Hulk...
That was bad and I only saw one actor in that video that looked like they belonged there. But hey, that was then and this is now. Just seeing the cast there was amazing and even though the movie is a whole two years away, it's still screams for attention.
A lot of the actors for the Avengers movie are perfect for the role. Just look at the swagger that Robert Downey jr. brings to the table. And even though Chris Evans is the poster boy for every comic book movie these days with his latest one being an Evil Ex in Scott Pilgrim, he still looks great for Captain America. Wait a minute, I think we need to stop and look at scarlet once again.
Yeeeeaaaah, That wasn't creepy at all. Anyhow, it's an entirely big boys club all up in there. What be up with that. You have Marvel Girl, Wasp, Jessica Drew, and various others to choose from and all you have is Black Widow? I guess I can't complain about that.
Though I'm a little let down about Nick Fury. I'm a huge Fury fan. I mean, look at the side image. I have a Nick Fury eye patch rocking most of the times because he's such a bad ass. Maybe I'm just waiting for them to announce a Nick Fury movie that goes back to the classic days of Nick Fury...
And I don't mean WHITE. I'm more than happy to see Sam Jackson ride a motorcycle through a wall bare chested while shooting two guns at Hydra scum. I mean, that in itself would be a movie I see four times and why the Hoff couldn't do that once in his version of Nick Fury, I will never know nor will I speculate. But that's the main reason I disliked that one.
Then there's those surprises you really can't expect but just love when they happen. Such as this surprise guest appearance to con for his first time there..
Which just brings about new questions.. such as, it took Cowboys & Aliens to bring Harrison Ford to comic con. Really?! REALLY? I know he's sort of a recluse who just doesn't want any part of the Hollywood scene, but he's played how many iconic nerd characters in films now? Han Solo and Indiana Jones alone should be reason enough for him to have visited in the past.
What? He didn't want to promote Crystal Skull? I know some people hated it, but come on.. it's Harrison Ford and this is the first time he's been at con? That just doesn't make any fucking sense. But I'll take it, I suppose. Then you have those cute moments when you just see a young kid become a life long nerd with a single question. Like this little guy asking Ryan Rynolds how it feels to be Green Lantern and saying the Oath.
So there you have it. A lot from comic con. Hopefully some expanded news on what you heard from someone else and slightly chuckled over and a lot more out of what happens in San Diego that causes us nerds to flock there like the Swallows returning to Capistrano. There's always a best/worst of comic con list but every year it's worth it for those Best.
See you next year... as well as tens of thousands of sweaty people who need a fucking shower and should know more about invading personal space!
You feel that? You, my friend, just went ahead in time. All the way ONE HOUR into the future! Yes, that's right. Time travel is possible and you just did it. Then again, everyone else who practices the ancient religion of catering to the farmers and fucking around with their clocks. Arizona, you're actually pretty smart on this one. All without the need of going 88 mph.
So why do we do this dance with the clock? Well, there's a couple of reasons, of course. It's mainly for farmers to be able to wake up with the sun and get as much done in the day. Then there's the safety element. U.S. law enforcement found that during Daylight Savings Time violent crime was down 10-13%. Which only leads to the question as to why we don't encourage the changing of time year round to maximize day light for all evening hours?
While it remains true that car accidents go down during the summer/daylight saving time, it actually increases the amount of pedestrian accidents by 186%. I guess it's simply because there's more people doing late evening walking with all the added sunlight. Still, you're losing an hour of sleep. That in itself should get you pretty pissed.
Most people can find plenty of reasons why to hate George Bush. One of my favorite and least cited is the fact that he signed into law a bill that made it so daylight saving time went from the second week of March till November instead of April till October. It used to be that it was Easter Weekend that you lost that hour and Halloween we gained one, now where here a full three weeks earlier and I'm about to lose another hour of sleep. What the fuck, man. At least this day isn't a total loss. It is, after all, Guy Valentine's day.
You know that old saying of "what's good for the goose is good for the gander"? Well, if you recall that around this time last month there was a certain celebration for a decapitated Saint who married people by secret. It revolved around buying flowers, candies and cards for your significant other. Seeing as that most guys don't give a shit, nor even like flowers and cards and would rather have a steak than some candy, it means that men got the short end of the stick on that one.
Forget the cards, we don't need them. The only flowers we're interested in is two-lips. No special night on the town with expensive pre-fixed menus. The name of the holiday explains it all. Just like snakes on a plane, this is snake in your mouth. This is the Ying to Valentine's Yang and oddly enough it's all about wang.. (I'm on a roll!)
How can you really go wrong with this holiday anyway? It's two things that will make a guy happy. A big portion of steak and someone to suck their dick. What more can you ask for? But.. How could I even suggest such a misogynistic thing?!?! Look, we took one for the team last month, now it's your turn to take one. It's not like guys are jumping for joy to shower you with those things that are forced upon by Valentine's Day.
Oh, what about chivalry? Don't get me wrong, while I generally think that the women's rights movement justifiably did away with Chivalry, I don't think it's dead... you'd be surprised how much chivalry will result from proper blow jobs. Believe you me, suck dick good enough and you'll get someone completely whipped on you.
Just think about it this way, how good do you want Valentine's to be next year? Impress him today and you may make a lasting impression so that he starts to think about making Valentine's day special for you next year.
Now listen guys, I know I'm standing up for the rights to get y0ur dick sucked, but let's not make this any harder (HA!) than it needs to be. You can do something to cut through any tension. How about making your sperm something that is actually desired to be eaten? Here's a couple of ways to change the way you taste;
1. Cut out alcohol, caffeine and nicotine from your diet 2. Drink lots of water to flush out the toxins. 3. Eat plenty of fruit a day to sweeten your sperm up. (Pineapple, papaya, cranberry, melons, mangos, apples and grapes are all good choices. They're high in natural sugars and offset the bitter taste. 4. Eat plenty of vegetables. Avoid vegetables from the cabbage family - Cauliflower, broccoli, asparagus 5. Cut back on red meat consumption - It'll make your man juice be salty. Cheese and milk can also have this effect. 6. Avoid heavy spices like garlic and onions - high sulfur content. 7. Parsley, Wheatgrass and celery are particularly recommended for sweeter semen taste. 8 Cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint and lemon are particularly recommended for making semen taste sweeter. 9. Avoid junk food, they're loaded with chemicals and preservatives that pollute your body and your semen's taste.
Or you can just forget all that hard "lifestyle change" bullshit and probably get away with buying this SEMENEX product. Though if you thought buying your girlfriend tampons was awkward, it's going to look funny when you take that to the register. Now that would potentially sell them on the taste.. but what if they don't know HOW to give a blow job?
Step 1. Get a new girlfriend.
If you feel like you've invested enough time with this one you can check my old blogs around February where I posted some article I found going into big detail about how to suck cock. It was comical as all hell, but if you don't want to click a month back, then here's this handy Blow Job 101 guide to help you out.
But on a final note.. maybe EVERYDAY should be a day you enjoy a steak or a blow job. Much like I raged against the machine during Valentine's day... maybe if you need a specific day to get something as simple and as common as this, than perhaps your relationship is suffering more than you'd like to admit. Now.. moving on to warm pie....
And on another note, I have to say that it's not by chance that another special day happens today. March 14 is a huge nerd celebration. Mainly because if they're left out of the blow jobs, they got to celebrate something. In this case they do. 3/14 is 3.14 day.. which is Pi day! Yes, that's right. Not only is it Daylight saving time and Steak and Blowjob day, but it's also Pi day.
Yes, that Greek letter that stands for the ratios of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi is an irrational number.. so much like women, irrational.. I mean.. wait, what? Well, since it's an irrational number it can't be expressed as a fraction. That also means that its decimal representation never ends pr repeats forever and ever.
Yup.. that there is a lot 'o' numbers. So perhaps you should eat some Pie on this Pi day. Sure seems odd to write about farmers, blow jobs and steaks and Pi eating nerds all in the same blog post, but trust me - they all come together (BAZINGA!)
On a final note, this is also Albert Einstein's birthday. Look at that man. If he wasn't all about eating the pi than I don't know what to believe. I mean, look at his tongue!
Happy-Going BACK TO THE FUTURE-Steak and Blow Job-Pi-Albert Einstein's birth.. -DAY!
Ladies, I know I re-typed a really strange internet "How to" guide on giving head. And while it may seem like common sense to NOT pay attention to whatever I say, take that with a grain of salt as nothing more than a crime against keeping the internet alive and full of strange shit. This little guide, on the other hand, is a guide to making what you're going to be dropping on Vday a bit more humor filled. (Before it's filled with something else. Boooyah!)
Life is to short to not be laughed at. So here's some suggestion on panties you should go out and get for the big reveal on Sunday...
Why don't you want to support America and buy these USA made panties? Not only that, but you can advertise and reassure him that you know your stuff in the bed room. The only down side is that he may think that you're a slut. Laugh it off. If he gets hung up on that.. Just move on along, clearly he doesn't have a sense of humor.
Growing up I loved playing Ms. Pac-man and Space Invaders. And while Ms. Pac-man can't really be all that sexy, I mean how can a round yellow circle with a hair bun really be? Space Invaders on the other hand can be.
Just think of the fun had here. Shooting at those space invaders never got so messy!
Need to know how to drop those panties? There's an app for that..
These will be funny. At least it's honest where you need to run your fingers to unlock the iPhone in this situation.. Booooyah!
Eh, they're different. Besides, don't you want to be blogged about? Just be careful if that first one is worn by a religious one... You break it, you buy it.
Who doesn't want a girl who has a little nerd in them (and the panties haven't even been taken off yet!) This will touch any guy who was alive during the 80's. The classic NES controller. Now if only that contra code worked...
I'm no achievement whore. I dislike the whole idea that Xbox seems to run with. But I can enjoy the funny joke to this pair of panties. Now the real question is if you can get this achievement taken care of.
Oh the internet.. what will you think of next?
Same concept as the iPhone one. Clearly the app for this one is not being creative. Again, it's to the point in telling you what to do.
This is your chance to call the IT guy and ask what the default log in info is. Just remember, most of the times the default password is actually password.
And for the final one, it's not even panties. It's a shirt, but really. I had to chuckle at this design. I'm not sure if I know anyone bold enough to wear it outside.
So there you have it. Some strange clothing to turn on that nerd of yours. Though I would still read through that whole "how to suck a cock" guide. You know, so that the fun won't end when he sees your underwear..
For all my life I have worn glasses. Well, for all of my life I was suppose to wear glasses... It's another issue entirely if I actually did or didn't. But what can I say, I'm sort of blind. Not really, I just need them to help with that extra boost so my eyes don't strain too much. I don't think they were ever a real reason for me to get mocked. I mean, I don't remember ever being called four eyes or anything like that. But as it turns out, it seems that having a pair of glasses is not a bad thing after all as this new study shows that people with glasses are smarter than those without.
Researchers in Singapore examined the eyesight and intelligence levels of 1,204 children aged 10 to 12.They found that the brightest kids were twice as likely to be short-sighted than children who weren't too clever.
Previous studies have linked the amount of time kids spend reading to whether or not they have poorer eyesight.
But the new study - carried out by the National University of Singapore - linked intelligence with being short-sighted, regardless of how much reading the kids did.
The results were published in The Independent newspaper.
Unfortunately I can't find anything more detailed but it's very interesting to say the least. What would be the cause behind this apparent link between eyesight and intelligence? And if this is true, what other genetic or hereditary traits are there that would affect a persons intelligence and is there a way of rectifying this imbalance and promoting egalitarianism that doesn't involve the methods of the Khmer Rouge?
Yeah, so what if I'm a social retard, I'm smarter than you and the fact that I have glasses just proves it! Science gives me a win for a change. While one would think that a larger brain simply squishes your eyeballs and laeds to astigmatism, it actually doesn't. So what is it that actually makes a correlation between glasses and smarts? I mean, it has to be something, right?
Maybe it's just that when you read a lot you use up a lot of energy reading the words. Smarter books usually have smaller print. My examples are The Cat in the Hat vs. Hamlet. I've also noticed that old people are dumb and their print is usually very big. Have you've seen those phones with the huge numbers on them? Coincidence, I think not. Talk about an IQ test in the type of phone you use. Or perhaps it's a result of holding things close to your face.. like books.
It could just be that other people perceive people with glasses as more intelligent, and it leads to more self confidence. I know that when I wear my glasses I'm usually thought of as; A) A Jew B.) A person to go to for an inquiry
What I do know for sure is that people who wear glasses are less suited for physical activities ue to their handicap, thus it leads one, at least for me, to pursue matters of the mind. For one thing, it allows you time to ponder the big questions in life.. especially now that you can actually see them. You know, those tough questions...
I'm not sure if you other glasses wearing folks have ever had a lot of questions tossed at you, but the strangest one I ever heard was
"When people with glasses have sex, do they do it with their glasses on or off?"
I guess it all depends on how attractive the other person is. You know, I don't ever think I have had sex with my glasses on. Considering that I have a girlfriend who has a thing for nerdy glasses, I'm kind of surprised by that. Even more so that I haven't done so in the 29 years of my life. I already said that I'm not really that blind. I could go with or without the glasses.
Even though I'm sure that the last question doesn't reflect this next statement, but it looks like we're going towards the right direction if this next news story is to be believed, then there's a chance that it can go hand in hand with this other news story..
The percentage of Americans who are nearsighted has gone way up in 30 years. That's according to a study published last month in the Archives of Ophthalmology. Susan Vitale, an epidemiologist at the National Eye Institute, which is part of the National Institutes of Health, and her co-authors looked at a national survey that gave vision tests to Americans in the early 1970s. It was then repeated with a similar group of people 30 years later. "The prevalence of myopia, or nearsightedness, in people age 12 to 54 went from 25 percent to 41.6 percent," explains Vitale. "So that's about a 66 percent increase."
Could that mean that Americans are.. actually getting smarter? Stranger things have happened. But there you have it. But then again, maybe I should be happy about that news. To be honest I do dig a girl in glasses. You see, I feel like I'm getting a little short changed here. My girlfriend has glasses and never wears them. So totally unfair, don't you think? It's like having hot vinyl gear and not showing it off. Let's look back at my childhood and see where all this started. I guess with G.I. Joe. Yes, that real American hero show based on army men.
It all has to do with the Baroness. Does it cover all we talked about? Check, check and check. Triple check. I mean, the Baroness had to be smart in order to evade being captured by G.I. Joe all that time. Then she's got that cat suit going on and the glasses? Oh man.. That does indeed cover it all. Thanks to science, it's well known now that she was very smart.
So what's the attraction with the glasses? I do believe that it does have something to do with the brains. When growing up you see your teachers with glasses, as they are indeed the more educated ones, and it does imprint this idea about who is someone of knowledge and it's right there. It's also a little bit of that innocence that you just hope to corrupt. Yeah, that is definitely hitting it right on the head.
I hope I opened your eyes to a couple of new facts. Like the one that I'm smarter than you. Perhaps now my girlfriend will wear her glasses more often. Show off those very large, round beautiful... eyes.
If you are reading this, you're more likely a nerd. In which case, it's Friday night and the chances of you actually having something going on are slim to none. Considering it's another couple of weeks before Dollhouse shows up on the air to give your start to the weekend meaning, you have nothing else to do.
Last week I told you about how DC is going to produce a Lobo film, because they couldn't find any other C-list heroes to make a film about. Well, today I'm going to show you why there isn't a need for a Lobo film. Because there was already one made. Here. Enjoy this in all it's silly glory.
So I dropped the ball and was too busy catching up with a lot of the Television shows last two weeks to actually write about this show but guess what, It's the fall season already, what the hell are you watching?! I know what I'm tuning into seeing..
First off, The Big Bang Theory. Yes, a nerd show. I know, how original. But the Big Bang Theory returned for another season of Chuck Loure bringing his nerd on to your television screen with not only this season, but they were already pre-renewed for a season 4 as well. So you shouldn't worry about cancellation or anything like that.
So what's the show about? CBS.com says:
Leonard and Sheldon are brilliant physicists, the kind of "beautiful minds" that understand how the universe works. But none of that genius helps them interact with people, especially women. All this begins to change when a free-spirited beauty named Penny moves in next door. Sheldon, Leonard's roommate, is quite content spending his nights playing Klingon Boggle with their socially dysfunctional friends, fellow CalTech scientists Wolowitz and Koothrappali. However, Leonard sees in Penny a whole new universe of possibilities... including love.
What will you need to be caught up? Well, we're three weeks in, but at the end of the last season, Leonard, Sheldon, Raj and Howard had taken a summer position in the the North Pole, and Penny admitted to herself that she did have feelings for Leonard.. just in time for him to leave. Now he's back and they decided to get together and try it out.. only to come up with some sexual incompatibilities that... well, lead to comedy for us, the viewers. Oh, what will happen when an extremely hot girl gets together with a nerd? And no, I'm not talking about my life.
I think the only thing holding CBS's line up from being a really strong powerhouse is that CBS decided to split the show from being paired with How I Met Your Mother leaving an hour of soul-sucking unfunny in between the two funniest shows on Monday. So who's the characters in this show? Well, I'll fill you in to that right now:
Leonard Hofstadler is probably the most "Normal" of the nerds. Leonard is a physicist and out of the four, is the most ready to change his life. Last year, Leonard and Penny went on a date, then Leonard managed to insult Penny and screw things up. Later, they almost got together again, but Leonard put his foot in his mouth again, and screwed things up. Leonard has also had an on-again off again relationship with Leslie Winkle, which is now off again, probably permanently. Leonard is played by Johnny Galecki, who was Darlene's boyfriend David in Roseanne.
Sheldon Cooper is Leonard's roommate, a brilliant physicist and the smartest of the four. He's also the most socially inept, and many episodes revolve around Sheldon's quirks, social fallacies, and learning how to function in normal society. Jim Parsons was nominated for an Emmy for season 2 of The Big Bang Theory and is considered the show's breakout star. Jim Parsons most notable previous role may be a spot in Garden State where he played the Medieval Times employee who slept with Jean Smart's character. He's also the character I constantly get told wears the same t-shirts that I do. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing... It's just a thing, I suppose.
Penny lives across the hall from Leonard and Sheldon. Penny is an aspiring actress, though she spends most of her days working at the Cheesecake Factory. Penny is of average intelligence, though she's able to hold her own around the four guys. Last season, another hot girl moved into the building, then took advantage of the guys genorisity. Penny showed she's very protective of Leonard, Sheldon, Raj and even Wolowitz, who's clumsy advances she's constantly fending of. She's been known to start catching on to Nerd Culture, getting hooked on Age of Conan and using Star Trek analogies last year. Penny is played by Kaley Cuoco, who was one of John Ritter's daughters on Eight Simple Rules.
Howard Wolowitz is an Engineer and "Only" has a Masters degree, a fact which often gets him razzed on by the other geniuses. Wolowitz lives with his controlling, loud mother, who is never seen but often heard. Wolowitz fancies himself a ladies man, but his advances are always clumsy and awkward. Last season, Wolowitz started a relationship with Leslie Winkle. Wolowitz is played by Simon Helberg, who you may also recognize as Billy's Buddy and Dr. Horrible's sidekick Moist from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog and he was in A Serious Man as a Junior Rabi, which doesn't seem like a stretch.
Rajesh Koothrapalli is an astrophysicist who has a crippling fear of speaking to women. Raj has his own apartment, as his parents live in India and he often is seen speaking to them over webcam. Raj can, however, speak to women when he drinks heavily. Penny is particularly kind to Raj, trying to help him overcome his phobia. Kunal Nayyar is an excellent physical actor who brings a lot of life to an often silent role.
Leslie Winkle is more of a recurring guest than a cast member, but she shows up often enough to deserve a mention. Leslie is a very pragmatic and logical woman who also is fairly able to function in normal society. Leslie had a mostly off-again relationship with Leonard, and now also Wolowitz. Leslie is also a brilliant scientist who works at the university. Leslie is played by Sara Gilbert, who is most known for playing Darlene in Roseanne.
Galecki has also brought former Roseanne castmate Laurie Metcalf to the show, playing Sheldon's mother in a season 1 episode and in the season 3 premiere. So it really is an extension of Roseanne without Roseanne Bar, that in itself is a win-win! And to those people who think that this show just panders to nerds... well, it does. But it's actually funny if you can get used to Sheldon being annoying.. something that he's suppose to be.
There's a whole thing with creator Chuck Loure, who worked on Roseanne, but that's a blog entry in itself as he does some amazingly funny stuff with his title cards.
It's not uncommon for nerds to get married. Yes, it's a rare thing for a nerd to find another nerd.. or at least someone willing to accept their nerd behavior. Once you do find that one hot girl that is accepting of your nerd and geek like tendencies, you better hold on tight and never let go. You hear me? NEVER.LET.GO! While there's plenty of fish in the sea, you're bait isn't good enough to attract much else.
Hey, don't take that as an insult. Ok, you can. Well, you should. It's coming from me and I'm pretty mean. I mean, there's nerds and then there's you. Yes you. You're the one who wants to have your wedding themed after a fucking video game.
What the fuuuuuck?
Um.. ok, I suppose we can roll with that...
It sucks to be a brides maid anyway. I mean, listen to the name of the role. MAID, you're in an uglier dress than the bride by design and you're now stuck wearing some stupid head gear? Kill yourself now.
And what's with this photographer? He's jumping the 180 line making this whole shoot look like it's jumping from one side to another. Is he literally running around this big group of nerds?
SEE?!!? Stop breaking the 180 rule. I guess he must have been busy playing video games when he should have been going to photo class.
That's just strange. I suppose to each their own. But really, what sense does this make? Can you really be sure you'd look back at this in 20-30-40 years and think "Yeah, that was a good idea" Hell, what next gen game console will be out by then that you'd long forgotten the Xbox. Oh, who am I kidding. They'll be divorced in five years. The only question is who's taking which console with them.
Oh, and to top it all off you got this as your wedding cake? Shiiiiit, get the fuck out of here.
I'm mad cause it doesn't look like it would feed a lot of people and if I'm at a wedding, I sure as hell want to eat. But then again, why do I have to be a hater?
If you and your soon-to-be-ex are ok with the strange wedding that is centered around a theme that most of your guest wont even be aware of, then more power to you. At least you found someone who shares similar interest as you... for now. Enjoy it while it last.
For those of you who don't know what the fuck this is from. Congrats, you have lives.
Once was a writer, tho, you see words to your left, so I guess I'm still that to some degree.
You can find my scribbles and mind ranting on this and various other places as a means to keep the creative, satirical and costco talk muscles worked out.
Was once apart of the tv industry, but I'm sure the NDA's are still in effect so let's move on from that. Now I spend my time slinging beer and keeping a building in one piece.
Posts
