COSTCO LOVE

COSTCO LOVE

I have to say, I love going to new Costcos whenever I'm in the area of one I have never been to. Yeah, it's like trying a new position with someone you love. I mean, maybe that's too much info, but like I said in past Costco post, this is a thing of beauty. You can't shame it. I sometimes plans days in advance to go to a new Costco. It's such anticipation leading to it.

I bet you're wondering if different Costcos have different things in stock or is it all the same across the board? Well, good sir or madam. I can tell you that all of them have the general same sort of items, but they do tailor make the specialty stuff to the local flair. In Alhambra there is a lot of Asian products that you will not see most other places. The Costco in the whites parts of town in Topanga have some of the best steaks and wines possible. I go there whenever I want to feel like I made it.

For you see, the entrance to Costco is a temporal vortex sending you directly where you need to go. All who enter THE Costco be warned, you will not be transported where you want to go, but where you need to be.

Read your membership pamphlet. It's all in there.

Yeah, most of the time the regional stuff that will change include beer and some produce and liquor. You'll still find mostly the same Kirkland type of things, but the general idea is always remember that Kirkland food is way better than Ikea food. Though I guess that's not a hard guess to venture.


You also need to get the staples. Aluminum Foil is one of those things that I buy from Costco, but then I forget I bought it at Costco because it literally takes me years to get through it. I sometimes buy the pre-cut aluminum sheets because the blades on the non cut have often given me deep cuts and it tears pretty badly. I guess I'm willing to pay more at times for not having to deal with that and just yank one of the pre-cuts out for whatever needs I require.

I have a box of cling film from Costco that has moved with me for 9 years and it's still going strong. Maybe that's indicative of how much cling film I actually use, but let's put it this way, I try to use it enough and yet it will never run out. The day I get to the end of it I'll be so filled with exaltation, I shall feel the wonders of pulling that last sheet and it will be a life changing experience.

What I'm saying is just get the damn cling wrap and foil at Costco and you'll literally never have to buy a new one.

BEING FBI IS SEXY

BEING FBI IS SEXY

In looking back at my youth I realize something. For the generation before me and the one before them, Feds were really squares and people you couldn't trust all that much given the events of Watergate and the idea that big brother is always watching.  But around the time of my youth that sort of changed.

Twin Peaks debuted and it had this sort of slick and cool FBI agent in Dale Cooper investigating a murder in the pacific northwest. He was very young, attractive and well, a very different image than what folks had seen before from an agent from the government. Soon after that you had Special Agent Mulder and Scully making their TV big splash and let's just say that the two of them did more to repair and promote the image of a government stooge than anyone could have ever imagined.

Scully in herself is the reason that there was an increase in women who entered the field of science and government work. They call it the Scully-effect and it's a real thing. It drove a lot of women to join law enforcement because it was reaffirmation that women can take on those roles in real life if they see the character on television that represents themselves.



According to a new study, "nearly two thirds of women that work in STEM stated that Dana Scully served as their role model." That 63% of them not only used Scully as an inspiration, but a trailblazer for the field they went into. It was that confidence that they got from the character to believe that they could succeed in a field that was prior male-dominated.

Though, I will say this, you need to give credit where credit is due. There was another female FBI agent before Scully that probably spearheaded the whole idea a little first before the tinfoil hat series came on the air. And that was Clarice from Silence of the Lambs. played by Jodie Foster. Just making sure that Jodi was even more of a figure head important person in our generation than ever before.

As you can see, all these characters helped create a far better image to the whole FBI and even though President Trump is currently shitting on the merit of the agency and the harsh reality that everything you see on TV is just some sort of hyper fake dream compared to how boring and filled with paper work the actual job at the FBI is, I do think that we should take a moment to realize and come to terms with the fact that these characters did a lot in changing the image of a job and introduced a lot of females to the field that they previously had no concept that they could possibly fit in to.

FORTUNE COOKIE ALWAYS WRONG

FORTUNE COOKIE ALWAYS WRONG

While I'm not one to claim authenticity for the fortune cookie being something of truth to Chinese food, I do have to defend it against one act of violence that can not be tolerated. Capitalism.

Look at that bullshit. What the fuck, man? WHAT.THE.FUCK.

I mean, I get it, we're in a capitalistic society and basically they would try to put adverts in your sleep if they could. But man, this is the most fucked up thing possible. Fortune cookies are sacred ground. This is completely unacceptable and should be banned.

Well, okay, I guess Fortune Cookies aren't straight up sacred ground. I  realize that they're an American invention. That is why they are hallow and leave a bad taste in your mouth.  On a side note, why is it that Marvel keeps making these valid critiques of America's destructive behavior, but it's always coming from the villain, and thus making it seem like such a bad thing to have that mentality?

But look, it's bad enough when you get that really lame generic Fortune out of one that you're wondering what the fuck sort of lazy monkey with a typewriter cranked that one out. One that is so vague that you just don't care anymore. They have to at least have the sense that you can attach "...In bed" to the fortune to be somewhat half decent.

But to have a credit card advertisement in your Fortune Cookie? Goddamn America, you went too far this time. You just crossed the line. More ironic than not, most Chinese food joints prefer if you pay via cash anyway. So the whole notion of a credit card used there is kind of funny to begin with.

I guess what bugs me about this is that not even fake fortunes are safe from the strong arm of capitalism. Which is the scarier thing to all of this. What's next? Your daily horoscope will have mercury in centergrade and so you should totally sign up for this car title loan program? How about if you look at your lucky numbers and see that you should totally buy a Combo #3 from McDonalds today!

Some sort of fake sense of fortune is important. You can't just come crashing into the world of make believe and crash land your capitalistic notions there. This fortune cookie thing is going to far and it's fine time we stopped Capitalism where it starts. WE SHALL KILL THE BEAST!!!! KILL THE BEAST!!!!! Now with a new low introductory APR!

Also, I guess like consumerism, Chinese food just leaves you empty and hunger for more in a half hour anyway.

A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUPID WORDS

A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUPID WORDS

No, I'm not talking about what my blog post is usually about. I'm speaking about the 20 or so of the new words that have been crammed into the Websters Dictionary. It's their lame attempt to stay relevant in defining shit now that the internet is here and controls everything.  Mind you, this is two dozen out of 840 new words that got crammed in. So I'm just picking some of the dumbest of the newest words that probably didn't need to be placed in there, but they're there now. So what the fuck are you going to do.

Here's some of the new words to define.

TL;DR - Holy fuck. are you goddamn serious? This isn't a word, it's a statement. And if you didn't know it, it means "Too Long, Didn't Read"  as in the statement you just made was too long to read so they didn't. I don't know why or how this gets put in to the dictionary. Especially ironic because.. well, the dictionary is full of TL;DR definitions.

BINGEABLE - I think anyone with a netflix account will know what this is all about. And I guess it needed to be put in as it was constantly getting flagged as an error.

PREDICTIVE - Eh, "Of relating to, or usable or valuable for prediction." I mean, I get it. I just don't see why this was so important to get tossed in.

BOUGIE - I mean, I kind of like this one. It is what I have said for some time even if it's a shortened version of bourgeois. Its meaning is to be more concerned for wealth, possession and respectability than anything else and that seems to be the standard now a days for society.

AIRPLANE MODE - Another statement, this isn't really something that was needed for definition. It's just a mode you put your phone in. Stop it Webster, you don't need to complicate shit.

FORCE QUIT - May have been better to define "Rage Quit", which happens a lot on social media when you piss someone off.



INSTAGRAM  - I mean, we know what it is. did we have to define it for the dictionary?

BIOHACKING  - Basically a means to fuck with your genes because we're that stupid as a society.

MARG -  What the fuck is this, you ask?  According to this stupid dictionary, it's a margarita. I have no idea when anyone ever used this term, but it's claim to originate in 1990. I call bullshit on this

FAVE - Another one that goes back to the 1930's, but it simply means Favorite, so it's just a shortened version of an already existing word. So I ask... why?


ADORBS - Another shortened shit that has no reason existing as adorable already is there.

RANDO - Come the fuck on, now Webster is just fucking with us.


GUAC - I swear, webster, you're really pissing me the fuck off with this lazy bullshit.

MISE EN PLACE - Well, here's one I know very well as a cook. It's the culinary process in which you prep and organize your ingredients before you start cooking. But this is a foreign word, so why is it here anyway?

HOPHEAD - Slang for a drug addict in the 1880's, but now it means someone who likes very hoppy beer. Thank you craft beer scene, what have you not provided for us?

HANGRY - This one is just lazy. I would be very angry with this entry if it weren't for the fact that I already ate.

MOCKTAIL - It's just a mixed cocktail drink without alcohol. I guess this word needed to be in the dictionary, but not really sure if it's that important to put it in.

LATINX - Oh, this word just pisses me off. This is one of those that just fucking annoys me. It's the genderless grouping of Latin folks, both male and female. I don't know why this has to exist and it just sounds so fucking stupid. 

GENERATION Z - The generation that was born in the 90's and early 2000's. These folks are completely fucked in every possible way and I feel bad for them not living in a world without instagram and social media pressures the likes I will never understand how anyone can survive through.  May lord have mercy on your souls and may you never want to own any property or hell, live that long the way we're fucking up the world. Sorry.

TENT CITY - I mean, did this have to be put into the dictionary? You know what it is. It's what you avoid you Bougie fuck, every time you go into the city for nightlife. Oh shit, you walked into the wrong part of town cause there's tent city.

There you have it. No wonder the english language is stupid and getting more so.

THAT'S A PADDLING

THAT'S A PADDLING 

This is a short and sweet article. It's simple. A Georgia charter school is looking to bring back the classic teaching style of paddling as a disciplinary policy for students.

Yes. That's right. Paddling.

I have to wonder what year we're living in that this is even something folks think about as a means to punish a student for whatever the hell they did wrong. But sure enough, the parents of students at the Georgia school for innovation and the classics outside of Augusta, Georgia, received a consent letter that stated the corporal punishment of paddling would happen on a student's third offense.

Now if you're not one to know of shit done in the time before the 20th century, paddling is the art of getting a wooden paddle and smacking them right in the ass.



Yes, this is charter education at its finest. Why not instruct kids with fear of abuse. That is what created the greatest generation. Either that or the fact that they went into WWII and realized that freedom and all the other shit they took for granted had a cost and so they enjoyed it far more because it was a struggle to accomplish...

Then again, those are the same ones who want to smack you on the ass for stepping out of line. So I don't know where I'm going with this. Maybe I just don't think that educators should be inflicting harm on children regardless of public or charter private school. That perhaps there's a better way to get through to the children than fear. That perhaps you can motivate someone with love and compassion and just explaining to them what it is that they are doing wrong.

Nah, fuck it, let's just smack some bottoms!

THE ELON FILES

THE ELON FILES

So a couple of weeks back, Elon Musk, in all his brilliance, tweeted that he was straight up going to try to buy back his company in public stocks. Which, sort of is a bit of a misdirection and can alter the way the stock price will go. Well, that sort of came back and bit him in the ass this past weekend when the Federal Government basically said  " Nice rocket ship business you got there... shame if you were to lose it over a tweet."

They fined him 20 million dollars and he is stepping down as chairman of the board of the company for it. I guess he just flat out couldn't claim that he did not mislead investors. I don't know how he could have won this lawsuit with the shorts legally barred from saying I did not manipulate the market, lol.

On top of that, the company will now have oversight on his tweets. Man, that's going to really piss him off when he's getting high and just wants to randomly spout some shit off.  When you think about it, the government barely ever prosecutes rich people anymore. They just get a quick settlement and avoid putting them in jail cause the prosecutors know all that corporate gigs they will get once they're out will just double over. So I guess this makes sense.

I don't know. I want to make fun of this guy some more. But it's sort of like kicking an already passed out horse. I mean. I have no idea if that saying is actually it, but you know what I'm getting at. Every day more and more we come to realize that this isn't the Thomas Edison we are hoping for or the Tony Stark of our generation. Nah, he's just.... lame. He tries to do cool things but they're already done and far more efficiently and it's just really sad. I love the Tesla brand, but man, how much more can he screw it all up?

FINN THE HUMAN

FINN THE HUMAN 

The show Adventure Time was great for many reasons. I pointed out in other blog post that despite taking place in a chaotic post apocalyptic world where the earth was destroyed and strange creatures roamed the land and having an upbeat sort of attitude and even a huge sort of joyful outlook to this sort of madness.

Finn started the series as a 12 year old boy with his magical shape shifting dog. They went on adventures to find treasure and fight monsters with his old beat up sword. Through the course of the show he upgraded his weapons and sort of "leveled up" in terms of learning lessons along the way that any 12 year old boy would learn in life. Sharing and caring and all that sort of lessons learned growing up.

At some point in the show, and this isn't common for a show to do, but Finn lost one arm in an adventure. He got it replaced with a blossoming flower for a bit, then a grass like hand and then a robotic arm. But by the end of the series he was there without an arm. It sort of does something to broaden the appeal of a character to a larger audience to relate to them when you make them now have a sort of disability. At least it gives a shout out to those who have similar circumstances and can relate.

Then you have his father issues. Finn's real dad is a pretty no good type of dude who is a con artist and landed himself in space jail. Not to mention that he's the one that caused Finn to sort of lose his arm in the first place. The guy just all around dunks up the spot whenever he's around in some sort of half brain scheme or another. To say Finn has some major abandonment issues from his real human parents is an understatement. No wonder he lives in a tree with a magical stretchy dog.

Oh yeah, did I mention that Finn is also color blind. Well, just a little.



Talking about those lessons learned, while int he beginning he's all about taking care of business with whatever sword he has in hand, towards the end of the series, after sort of killing his grass like double, he starts to realizes that maybe violence isn't always the answer. Don't get me wrong, he still leads head first into adventure and helping his friends. But man, does he have a lot of growing up done in the series of the show.

On top of that, you get to see him go through several crushes and heart breaks and all sorts of confusion that any young boy will go through. That in itself, in this crazy world where Lich Kings and end of days happen regularly is a pretty interesting thing. To have a human character that not only you can relate to, but as well as others who, say are color blind or don't have all their arms, that's pretty neat in itself.