Segwaying To A Tragic Topic

Segwaying To A Tragic Topic

I have to admit, I was half asleep with my radio on in bed yesterday when I heard the following news and I couldn't help but laugh my ass off. It's one hell of a way to start the day..

Multi-millionaire Jimi Heselden, the owner of Segway Inc. since December 2009, has died after reportedly driving a Segway scooter off a cliff and into a river.

The fatal accident allegedly occurred at Heselden's West Yorkshire estate, according to the Daily Mail. He was "using one of the machines--which use gyroscopes to remain upright and are controlled by the direction in which the rider leans--to inspect the grounds of his property," writes the Daily Mail. "A spokesman for West Yorkshire Police said today: 'Police were called at 11.40am yesterday to reports of a man in the River Wharfe, apparently having fallen from the cliffs above.'"

Police told the Telegraph that a "Segway-style vehicle" was recovered at the scene of the accident.

I can easily say that if you own any stock in the company, you probably should have sold it yesterday. If these things weren't selling well before, the guy dying on one ain't going to help sales one bit. You could almost say that sales in the Segway are going to take a serious nosedive after this incident. On wait..sales?

I'm not even sure there was much sales for these anyway. It seemed like everyone was falling off these things whenever I saw them in a youtube clip or something.



Not to mention that their only real practical use seem to come from low level security officers at the mall or whatever out door strip mall using them. Didn't really entice a lot of young people to get out and want to ride this hip cool new ride or anything.

Either way, I just have to laugh about all this. Cause really, this is why Life is funny.

America - The Book

America - The Book

Hello America! What are you doing during Banned Book Week? I know I got myself a bonfire going and ready to burn these books! But the question remains, which books should I burn and which ones should I actually read? I wish there was a way to help me decide which is which!

I went to Amazon to look for some books to burn and I found something comical. You see, I learn that despite my previous belief, America has read a book once and a while. Maybe I should take a moment to see what they have to say about them.

FARENHEIT 451

It was one of the most boring books i have ever read in my life.Why everyone in this society is so narrow-minded.Mildred is the most stupid woman i have ever read for and beatty is one of the biggest liar.So i think Bradbury was probably drunk while he was writing this book.

quote:

Confusing, disturbing, and stupid are some of the few words to use when describing this book. Firemen who start fires?? Come on. Burning every book that exists, this isn't a look into the future. It's a look into Bradbury's twisted little mind. Bottom Line.... Don't waste your time.

quote:

I enjoy historical fictions, so I knew "Fahrenheit 451" was not my style, but I thought I would give it a go anyway. Well, I hated it. I did not like Ray Bradbury's style and I think he needs help! Who in their right mind would think of our world becoming so controlling and horrible? There are a lot of unanswered questions and undefined terms in this book, so you better get the Cliff's Notes, because without them, you'll be lost. Do not be surprised if you do not finish this book quickly, either! I did find the subject of book banning and censorship interesting, but I think it could have been told differently. I do not recommend this book!

quote:

This book doesn't deserve one star. It deserves negative 1000 stars. This was the WORST book I have ever read. The book moved to slow, and the characters are stupid. Guy Montag, the main character, is a fireman who sets books on fire, becuase homes are fireproof. Then he meets this crazy girl nmaed Clairese who rambles about dumb stuff of the past that is not important like (Did you know that one time billboards were only 20 feet long, instead of 200) WHO CARES?!?! If there is one book that deserves to be burnt it is this.

There's reviews on amazon from the late 1990's. It in a sense a time capsule of the ideas of the people. Not that that's a good thing.

But lets move on to the next book...

Animal Farm

quote:

This is george orwells take on the russian revolution that tells lies and myths after another. I would suggest that others read historical tracts to reveal Orwells obivious bias and work for the british ruling class. He maligns the great achievements of the working class in the soviet union to animalism, also how human can change and create a better society. Eventhough the SU had its imperections and finally in the 1950s returned to capitalism(which they called socialism).

quote:

i love animals and if you like animals this book is not for you. at first i thought it was going to be great but then it turned into a huge discrace. i would not reckomend this book to anyone that doesn't want to be sad or depressed

Summer reading class!!!

quote:

This book sucks so bad I couldn't even get through it. I quit reading it before chapter three. I would not recommend this book to anyone you will waste your time and in the end or whenever you throw it away you'll be asking yourself who would write a book with talking animals?

quote:

Unlike many reviewers, I was not conned into reading this book for some sort of academic project, but rather for personal enjoyment. I expected nothing more than another great work by George Orwell, whose book 1984 was nothing short of a masterpiece. But let me tell you, Animal Farm is a disgrace. It is nothing more than an ameture application of talking farm animals to characters in the Russian Revolution. Nothing more. Nothing new. Honestly, it is simply that simple: farm animals applied to a historical account of the Russian Revolution; this is the extent of the so-called 'symbolysm'. If i wished to simply apply idiotic and stupid talking pigs, dogs and horses to the Nazis, France and the US in World War II, my 'masterpiece' would be equally as good as this 'symbolic work of art'. I find it tragic that people believe that something so simple and dumbfounded is 'symbolism', and that something so unbearably torturously difficult to read can be considered 'great' only because it integrates lowly 'symbolism'. I mean what I say when I tell you that abssolutely anyone could write this disgusting disgrace to literature. I wanted to like this book.

quote:

This book was terible. I was forced into reading this book in school. Which is no surprise, this is exactly the kind of book our government wants to force people to read, so they hand it to schools, and try to force us to read it. This book was written by a insane man named George Orwell, who hated society, and displayed that by bashing humanity, and making people look like lower lifeforms than animals. He used pigs to potray govermnent officials (which isn't a bad choice if you ask me), horses for hard working people, dogs as SS troops, etc... Throught this entire book, he constantly tries to show that humans are sick people, that will corrupt no matter what happens. To be honest I think this man is crazy and needs to be locked up.

Woah woah woah woah woah WOAH! woah. Are you telling me that the animals... represent something other than the animals?! Now that's crazy talk! I have to say it. Orwell had serious pacing issues.

Animal farm is Trotskyite polemic disguised as literature and the fact that it's taught to children is an absolute disgrace. For whatever reason we watched the animated cartoon in high school and it was hilarious to see just how vehemently anti-communist it was. There was no subtlety in the animation.

There was no subtlety in the animation; snowball was bossy and sly, and napoleon was a slobbering monster. Not to mention that they changed the ending to where the animals realize they've been duped and they overthrow their evil pig masters.

Little known fact, but did you know that it was funded by the CIA?

It's really sad that animal farm is literally all most people know about communism and proves exactly how dangerous revisionism is. Then again, the jokes on me if I think most people have actually read animal farm.

What's next for the fire?

For the Win

quote:

You can't sum up For The Win, by comparing it to other books. Instead when you think of it you have to take pieces from many different entertainment icons. For example when I try to describe For The Win, I would compare it to a combination of Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game, Halo, and the movie The Sting. Only after having considered all of these pieces can you get an inkling of what For The Win is like.

And yet it is more than all of that. For The Win also included important and accurate descriptions of financial definitions and schemes, such as buying futures, economies of scale, and even a ponzi scheme. But these inter-chapters detailing financial issues are critical to understanding the book, and so I was amazed at how well Doctorow is able to convey these issues to the reader.

But as I mentioned For The Win is more than that. It is an enthralling action packed novel that has detailed memorable characters, detailed plot twists, and an engaging story. Because of this I would recommend this book to anyone, teen or adult, as it is an exceptional novel that both teaches and entertains, a rare feat in any book. And so everyone should go out and get it today.

Discussions about books typically always are nauseating, especially around educated people. Maybe this is why I prefer the company of non-readers. Most avid readers are cynical and damp and obsessed with elevating themselves above others through a taste in "eclectic" or "accomplished" books.

When you factor everything, books are no better at illuminating the human condition than the Top 40 pop songs or a drunken bar fight. I have to say that I get really irritated when someone asks me what I'm reading. I usually just default and say that I'm reading the Koran.

Successful candidates in 50 years will be comparing their opponents to Voldemort and Sauron and claiming that Washington is as dysfunctional as "The Office" God save us all.

It would be like me suggesting you pick up Homage to Catalonia so you could see how it's possible to leave your goddamn keyboards and pick up a rifle. Orwell literally went and joined the republican forces in the Spanish civil war and fought in the trenches. Got a lot of stuff about how anarcho syndicalism was actually functional for a bit and how Stalin boned the government basically helped usher in Franco.

Now one more review for the road. But in this one, we're going to play a little game I like to call...

NAME THAT BOOK!

It's very simple. Here's the review, its your job to find out which book it is....

quote:

I personally don't read that many books, but this is one of the worst books I ever read. First, they're are too many characters. This book has too many characters that I can't remember even one of them in my head. They include many minor characters that nobody cares so you get confused about it. Second, it has too many mini-stories. It has lots of short stories that doesn't relate to any of the other stories and they are usually pretty boring.. It's like writing every detail of your every day life. I cannot believe that it saids on the behind that it is one of the greatest American literature and I would definitely not recommend to anyone.

If you said Catch-22, you can pat yourself on the back.

On a final note, Brave New World deserves every negative review it gets.

Read Ayn Rand

Read Ayn Rand

Ha! Nah, just kidding. Please don't. That shit is just god awful. But even though I may say that you're better blowing your brains out than reading her god awful books, there's one captains of enterprise that would like to spread the good word with you and the rest of the world.. in the form of driving around this Capitalistic country of ours.

The idea was conceived and "written" by one person, Nick Newcomen, during the spring and summer of 2010. All expenses were paid entirely by him.

The first step involved identifying on a map the route he would need to drive in order to spell out "Read Ayn Rand." Then he drove the route. He used a GPS logger (Qstarz BT-Q1000X)3 to record his "writing." He turned on the device when he wanted to write and turned off the device between letters. He then input the recorded GPS data into Google Earth resulting in the image you see above.

For documentation, he video recorded himself at dozens of different landmarks along the route. In the image above, click on each letter in "Read Ayn Rand" to view this documentation.

So the dude went around the states and gps a lot of markers writing out, across this great nation of ours, that people should read Ayn Rand. I bet he listened to Atlas Shrugged on Audiobook during his spiritual journey all by his lonesome. Well, maybe just the final monologue, but he only got half way through it. I wonder how much he spent on gas to do that.

I wonder what this guy was thinking. "Hmmm, what would be the perfect medium to express my message of DOWN WITH BIG GOVERNMENT? Ah, I know, I'll extensively use the largest federally-funded public works project in all of history. He's using the tools of the oppressor against them. How clever. The whole map was created on public roads. What a fucking rebel.

The article also says that he traveled 12,328 miles. Guessing about 25mpg average, because of the mountains and the summer stretches in the desert, a lot of it wasn't interstate etc. So he probably went through 493 gallons. Rough guess of an average of $2.75 per gallon is $1,356 on gas alone. I glanced at one of my credit card offers the other day from Chevron or Exxon mobile or something and the interest on it was 25%. HA! Usury owns.

It's also probably at least 3-4 weeks of total driving minimum. I can drive all day, but a lot of people can't, so it may have been as much as 5 or 6 weeks, and again he wasn't spending it all at 85 in the Southwest interstate. Another $500-600+ on fast food. Another 100+ on oil changes. Between $2-3,000 on hotels unless he found some bargains or campsites or stayed at other "Ayn Rand enthusiasts" houses.

So all told, probably around $5,000 spend so he could get an article in a shitty blog saying he drove around the country to check his gps occasionally. Like it could have been done cheaper but probably not much so by someone that would actually do that kind of thing. Also, he's getting skin cancer from driving around in the desert that much.

I'm not even taking into account that this is America. So that probably meant he went all crazy on a credit card at 20% interest rate and he's going to be paying for it for decades and never understand why.

While I wish someone in Canada would get in a car and drive around to spell DON'T directly above it, but there's simply not enough roads to get that done with. I do think they're on the right path.



I begin my gps READ MARX European journey next month. It's sort of a wimp way to do it, though. If this guy wants people to take him seriously and read her dumb books, he should spell it out with a series of mail bombs like that kid who was trying to make a smiley face.

I was at the book store the other day and she featured pretty prominently on the summer reading table.

Let's boil it down once more. He drove 12,000 miles on public roads, tracked his progress with a system invented by government research, supported by satellites launched by NASA, and then uploaded the results onto a network created by the Department of Defense....

Now I'm not saying the free market WOULDN'T have come up with all these things eventually, but he would have had to pay to use them at every stage and had to crawl over the bodies of the dying poor to do it.



Just soak it up, my friend. Enjoy the air in your hair and the asphalt under your tires.. no wait, that's not asphalt under your rubber, it's only shards of tyranny. Some people did volunteer work this summer. But this man just drove his AC-equipped car around like a jerk.

Then again, I have to blame myself a little here because I made his stupid endeavor a success by passing around this stupid story about what he did. Then again, this whole thing isn't that big of a deal compared to other very prominent Rand connections...

Greenspan contributed three chapters to Rand's 1966 book Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, all of them reflecting her—and Greenspan's—ultra laissez-faire ideology. In one, Greenspan castigates antitrust law and practice as not merely harmful, but with the "hidden intent" of injuring the "productive and efficient members of our society." In another, he claims that all government regulation represented "force and fraud" as the means of consumer protection, whereas it is "profit-seeking which is the unexcelled protector of the consumer." He argues that the market system itself is a "superlatively moral system that the welfare statists propose to improve upon by means of preventive law, snooping bureaucrats, and the chronic goad of fear."

But again, it'd take me a long time to spell out "Read Hemingway" across the US of A.

Tweens For The Gipper

Tweens For The Gipper

As if I didn't have enough reasons to hate Nick Jonas and Jordin Sparks comes this news that they're Tweens for the Gipper.

Pop sensations Nick Jonas and Jordin Sparks have taken charge of a youth committee planning the 100th birthday celebrations for America's 40th president, Ronald Reagan.

Jonas, 18, and Sparks, 21, are leading The National Youth Leadership Committee of the Ronald Reagan Centennial Celebration.

The team is comprised of 35 athletes, entertainers and student leaders under 25 who have been personally touched by the late actor-turned-politician's vision of freedom.

And the singers are looking forward to paying homage to the former world leader by leading their peers in the planning the event, which is scheduled to take place in America on 6 February.

The Jonas Brothers singer Nick calls Reagan as his "personal hero", while Sparks adds, "Ronald Reagan's optimism and graciousness is a model for me in my career. I'm honoured to be a part of this leadership committee and give back just a fraction of the blessings I've received."

Reagan, who left the White House in 1989, died of Alzheimer's Disease in 2004. He was 93.

Awful singers support awful president. News at 11. Ronald Reagan, soon to be the hero of tweens everywhere? It's all starting to make sense now.. Punkass kids with their punkass music.

These fuckers weren't even alive when he was president. I'm pretty sure they weren't even alive when he had his memory. Besides, what's with celebrating his birthday? He's dead. You don't celebrate birthdays when you're dead.

I mean, it's really weird to celebrate the birthday of a dead person except our lord and savior Jesus Christ, who loves you all and expects his birthday cake in December.



It's really too bad Ronald Reagan's birthday and death day are so close to established national holidays. I would fully anticipate it becoming a day off under the next republican administration. Maybe they'll just put him on a dime instead.

What is with this Reagan-worship youth cult that's starting up? Remember how everyone was all like baby boomers will die soon and the Reagan right with them and the country will shift left? Yeah, that's a wrong thing. Worst country.

There was never a more rotten, evil human being alive than Ronald Reagan. Not one. Not even Hitler.




What the hell is with that chart. There's no X or Y axis. That chart lines up pretty closely with the inflation adjusted incomes of the top couple percent of earners and everyone else, directly a result of Ranold Reagan's policies.

I've always sort of wondered what he's saying in that image. I mean, what can you really say when you have such a stupid chart in front of you and is trying to justify it.

"You see, this line goes up, but this line... it goes down"

"As you can see here, their plan is to increase taxes each and every year in a geometric fashion"

I just don't get it. I feel like I should just go to his library and piss on his grave some more.

America Is Going To Burn

America Is Going To Burn

And to be perfectly honest, let the mother fucker burn. Burn mother fucker, Burn!

So by now your fingers have probably melted onto the computer keyboard. Yes, it's fucking hot as hell right now. As one friend of mine put it, it feels like this. I know the first thing most people say is "Summer is over! Why is it so hot in September?!" I mean, really? Did you forget where you were? Did you forget that we don't have seasons here? Okay, we do. Southern California has two season - Inferno and Flood.

You folks who believe otherwise and act surprised when we don't follow the seasons everyone else does, I want to slap you. You act as if it's a surprise that the trees go from green to brown, and from brown to fire. Is it your first time in So Cal? Of course it's hot in September! It always is.



Every year it's the same thing. You have a summer that isn't too hot and people say "my, it's not that hot this summer" and then September and October roll around and are extremely hot and you act surprised.

Don't worry, you'll survive. If anything, you probably should be more concerned with the potential of brush fires. We seem to light up pretty fast with this heat. I know the mountains have a EXTREMELY HIGH risk for fires with this weather. But hey, who cares about that, right?

Everyone knows that life is going so well and that in this modern day and age, fire is not much of a threat. It's one of those medieval concerns like the black plague. So little concern for fire that cities across the US are shutting down firehouses and companies. I just know that there's no way this will end up badly, no sir. Not one bit.

Deep cuts to emergency services? Boy, I hope the private sector will provide! We are in a free market after all - I hear it provides everything!

Struggling Cities Shut Firehouses in Budget Crisis

Fire departments around the nation are cutting jobs, closing firehouses and increasingly resorting to “rolling brownouts” in which they shut different fire companies on different days as the economic downturn forces many cities and towns to make deep cuts that are slowing their responses to fires and other emergencies.

Philadelphia began rolling brownouts this month, joining cities from Baltimore to Sacramento that now shut some units every day. San Jose, Calif., laid off 49 firefighters last month. And Lawrence, Mass., north of Boston, has laid off firefighters and shut down half of its six firehouses, forcing the city to rely on help from neighboring departments each time a fire goes to a second alarm.

Fire chiefs and union officials alike say it is the first time they have seen such deep cuts in so many parts of the country. “I’ve never seen it so widespread,” said Harold A. Schaitberger, the general president of the International Association of Fire Fighters.

The risks of cutting fire service were driven home here last month when Bentley Do, a 2-year-old boy who was visiting relatives, somehow got his hands on a gum ball, put it in his mouth, started laughing and then began choking.

“It blocked the air hole,” said his uncle, Brian Do, who called 911 while other relatives frantically tried to dislodge the gum ball. “No air could flow in and out.”

It is only 600 steps from the front door of the neatly kept stucco home where the boy was staying to the nearest fire station, just down the block. But the station was empty that evening: its engine was in another part of town, on a call in an area usually covered by an engine that had been taken out of service as part of a brownout plan.

The police came to the home within five minutes and began performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation, officials said. But it took nine and a half minutes — almost twice the national goal of arriving within five minutes — for the fire engine, with a paramedic and more medical equipment, to get there. An ambulance came moments later and took Bentley to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

The San Diego Fire-Rescue chief, Javier Mainar, said it was impossible to say whether the delay contributed to Bentley’s death on July 20. But he said there was no doubt that the city’s brownouts, which take 13 percent of firefighters off the streets each day to save $11.5 million annually, led to the delay.

“You can just lock everything down and look at it sequentially, chronologically, as to what occurred,” Chief Mainar said in an interview. “There is no question that the brownout of Engine 44 resulted in Engine 38 having to take a response in that community, and because of that, Engine 38 was now out of position to respond to something that happened just down the street from their fire station.”

Fire service was once a sacred cow at budget time. But the downturn has lingered so long that many cities, which have already made deep cuts in other agencies, are now turning to their fire departments.

Some are trying to wrest concessions from unions, which over the years have won generous pension plans that allow many firefighters to retire in their 40s and 50s — plans that many cities say are unaffordable. Others want to reduce minimum-staffing requirements, which often force them to resort to costly overtime to fill shifts. Others are simply cutting service.

Analysts worry that some of the cuts could be putting people and property in danger. As the downturn has worn on, ISO, an organization that evaluates cities’ fire protection capabilities for the insurance industry, has downgraded more cities, said Michael R. Waters, ISO’s vice president of risk-detection services.

“This is generally due to a reduction in firefighting personnel available for responding to calls, a reduction in the number of responding fire apparatus, and gaps in the optimal deployment of apparatus or deficiencies in firefighter training programs,” Mr. Waters said in a statement.

Several fire chiefs said in interviews that the cuts were making them nervous.

“It’s roulette,” said Chief James S. Clack of the Baltimore City Fire Department, which recently reduced the number of fire units closed each day to three from six. Officials saw that the closings in the 55-unit department were in some cases leading to longer response times. “I’m always worried that something’s going to happen where one of these companies is closed.”

Early in his mayoralty, Michael R. Bloomberg of New York closed six fire companies to save money. This year, a threat to close 20 more — a 6 percent reduction in New York’s fire companies — was averted when the city found savings elsewhere.

Several cities — including Lawrence — have said that they were forced to cut service because the unions failed to make concessions. Mr. Schaitberger, the union president, who was here for a union convention, said that protecting the pensions his members have won over the years was a top priority this year.

The pension issue has an added resonance in San Diego. The city was forced to consider a bankruptcy filing even before the Great Recession, and was barred from raising money by selling bonds to the public after officials disclosed that they had shortchanged the pension fund for city workers for years, even as they improved pension benefits. San Diego’s pension fund has only two-thirds of the money it needs to pay the benefits promised to retirees, according to an updated calculation made by the city in the spring, and faces a shortfall of $2.1 billion.

So even before the recession and the brownouts, fire service in San Diego was stretched thin. A previous San Diego fire chief, Jeff Bowman, was hired in 2002 with a mandate to build up the department, but he resigned in 2006, after the pension-fueled fiscal crisis surfaced and it became clear that he would not get the money to build and staff the extra fire stations he believed were needed. “The question is whether fire protection is adequate, and in my opinion it’s not,” he said in an interview.

After Bentley Do died, the City Council agreed to put a question on the ballot in November asking voters to approve a sales tax increase, which could be put in place only if the city adopts certain budget and pension reforms. The money could restore the fire service and help close a deep budget gap projected for next year.

But it would come too late for the Do family. Bentley, whose father, Nam Do, an American, was working in Vietnam as an architect, was just visiting San Diego with his mother, Mien Nguyen. Ms. Nguyen, who was six months pregnant, was here to take the oath of United States citizenship. She was sworn in the day after Bentley died, Brian Do, the uncle, said, but she fainted when she got her certificate and was taken to the hospital. Nam Do left his job in Vietnam to come here to grieve for his son, and goes to a temple every day, Brian Do said.

He said that the family had no plans to sue the city. “We’re not blaming the city or blaming the Fire Department,” he said, “but the reason I speak out is because I want them to do a better job for other people.”

I have to laugh at the San Diego ballot initiative. It's going to do terribly because of the simple fact that they're suggesting to collect taxes?! How dare they! It seems like we'll finally be getting back to the good old days of the NYC fire gangs battling each other out for that sweet sweet insurance money.

On a side note, the very unsubtle "It's all the goddamn union's fault!" laid across that article is also pretty comical. I don't know who's brilliant idea is it to cut fire services in an area of California, where half the land is canyons and is on fire for a large part of the year. Then again, Fuck San Diego. I typically only go once a year for comic con, so I'm on the fence on caring if it gets lit up.



I do find it funny that they're cutting the fire departments budget at the specific moment in economic downturns that many property owners resort to arson. The 2010's are looking more and more like the 1970's except with 30 years of economic malaise behind it rather than 30 years of economic prosperity.

I suppose the answer to that situation is that you shouldn't allow nobody to own a home. If nobody can own, no one can have their house burn down, the problem is then solved.

The inevitable collapse of America will be pretty hilarious when you think about it. That is if it doesn't all burn up in a raging ball of a natural gas explosion. Ha! Just kidding. I'm pretty sure it will be terrible and millions will suffer horribly.



Just look at the whole way city/state cuts in funding to public hospital emergency rooms have effected us. If you so happen to get a taxi ride in an ambulance to the hospital, because of all the cuts, the hospitals have leased it out to private emergency transport contractors at the lowest bidder. So get into a car wreck and get slammed with a $600 ambulance ride bill.

Then again, if you pay any medical bill that you get then, congratulations, you're retarded. I guess the solution is to have your credit rating ruined by failure to pay your bills.

So maybe in the case of California on fire, it's just a matter of the free market providing when the government fails to step up. Maybe we could just have all fired departments get funded through donations.

Rescission is Over!

Rescission is Over!

Hey, did you hear? It seems that the rescission is over!

WASHINGTON — The longest recession the country has endured since World War II ended in June 2009, a group that dates the beginning and end of recessions declared Monday.

The National Bureau of Economic Research, a panel of academic economists based in Cambridge, Mass., said the recession lasted 18 months. It started in December 2007 and ended in June 2009. Previously the longest postwar downturns were those in 1973-1975 and in 1981-1982. Both of those lasted 16 months.

The decision makes official what many economists have believed for some time, that the recession ended in the summer of 2009. The economy started growing again in the July-to-September quarter of 2009, after a record four straight quarters of declines. Thus, the April-to-June quarter of 2009, marked the last quarter when the economy was shrinking. At that time, it contracted just 0.7 percent, after suffering through much deeper declines. That factored into the NBER's decision to pinpoint the end of the recession in June.

To make its determination, the NBER looks at figures that make up the nation's gross domestic product, which measures the total value of goods and services produced within the United States. It also reviews incomes, employment and industrial activity.

The economy lost 7.3 million jobs in the 2007-2009 recession, also the most in the post World War II period.

The NBER normally takes its time in declaring a recession has started or ended.

For instance, the NBER announced in December 2008 that the recession had actually started one year earlier, in December 2007.

Similarly, it declared in July 2003 that the 2001 recession was over. It actually ended 20 months earlier, in November 2001.

Its determination is of interest to economic historians - and political leaders. Recessions that occur on their watch pose political risks.

In President George W. Bush's eight years in office, the United States fell into two recessions. The first started in March 2001 and ended that November. The second one started in December 2007.

NBER's decision means little to ordinary Americans now muddling through a sluggish economic recovery and a weak jobs market. Unemployment is 9.6 percent and has been stuck at high levels since the recession ended.

Many will continue to struggle.

So... all of you complaining about no jobs and suffering a life-long stagnation and depression of our generation's wages, foreclosures, and so much more just aren't living in reality. The recession is over duders.

Sure enough, the recession was declared over in 2009, that goes tto show you just how much of an outdated news article I'm writing right now.

But you know what, they're actually right about this. Specifically because "Recessions" are defined solely in terms of GDP growth. So yes, this claim is actually true. For the sake of argument the recession is over.

The whole article is entirely about the strict definition of a recession and not any other secondary or lasting effects that it might have and as such is completely accurate in its statement. The very strictly defined term used by economists show that total GDP is growing and not shrinking and says literally nothing about anything else including employment, income, inequality, or any other metric that one might use to gauge the overall economic health of a nation.

In other words, it's this arbitrary term used by economists that literally make the term recession become meaningless as it makes no measures as to what we could call the "real economic health" of a nation.

You see, what we are in isn't a recession. It's just a simple matter that our entire social and economic structure is just so fucked up beyond belief and repair. There's a difference. It's kind of hilarious how nothing is ever going to get better within our lifetime, and things will continue to become worse.

I'm actually really surprised and amazed that the people haven't overthrown the rich and had their heads stuck on pikes by now. We sure have become a lazy society. Come on kiddies, just think of how many Xbox achievements you'll unlock when you kill the rich.

Just think about this, there's a group that dates the beginning and end of recessions. If there's a job that is recession proof, it's that one right there. Though now that we're out of a recession, do they lose their job?

Just goes to show you that capitalism is the permanent recession. We should all bow down and hail GDP! It's the tree of free market that must be refreshed from time to time with bailouts and government intervention. You mainly just have to know how to sell it to the "little people." Because they're the foot soldiers in any revolution. If you want them on your side, though, you can't insult their lack of intelligence.

You see, fine folks just like me, the recession is gone. Now is another fine opportunity for you young bootstrappers to hoist yourself into the capitalist class. Say it with me, and say it proud!

Fuck you, Got mine, and yours too!

Hiptsers Gone Injines

We Need A Hippie Reservation

First they took over and destroyed the Keffiyeh...



And now this? I would say fuck hipsters and may they all drown in PBR unironic deaths, but it seems that I wear a lot of clothing that would commonly mistake myself as a hipster. Oh my, I've become what I hate.

So anywhere, we need to get a Hipster Reservation going because it seems like the newest trend for hipster is to get down with their 1/64th Native American self.



I'm not sure how fashionable it is, but from Native Appropriations Blog post on hipster's embrace of their headdress fashion;

So why can't I wear it?

• Headdresses promote stereotyping of Native cultures.

The image of a warbonnet and warpaint wearing Indian is one that has been created and perpetuated by Hollywood and only bears minimal resemblance to traditional regalia of Plains tribes. It furthers the stereotype that Native peoples are one monolithic culture, when in fact there are 500+ distinct tribes with their own cultures. It also places Native people in the historic past, as something that cannot exist in modern society. We don't walk around in ceremonial attire everyday, but we still exist and are still Native.

• Headdresses, feathers, and warbonnets have deep spiritual significance.

The wearing of feathers and warbonnets in Native communities is not a fashion choice. Eagle feathers are presented as symbols of honor and respect and have to be earned. Some communities give them to children when they become adults through special ceremonies, others present the feathers as a way of commemorating an act or event of deep significance. Warbonnets especially are reserved for respected figures of power. The other issue is that warbonnets are reserved for men in Native communities, and nearly all of these pictures show women sporting the headdresses. I can't read it as an act of feminism or subverting the patriarchal society, it's an act of utter disrespect for the origins of the practice. (see my post on sweatlodges for more on the misinterpretation of the role of women). This is just as bad as running around in a pope hat and a bikini, or a Sikh turban cause it's "cute".

• It's just like wearing blackface.

"Playing Indian" has a long history in the United States, all the way back to those original tea partiers in Boston, and in no way is it better than minstral shows or dressing up in blackface. Like my first point said, you're stereotyping and collapsing distinct cultures, and in doing so, you're asserting your power over them. Which leads me to the next issue.

• There is a history of genocide and colonialism involved that continues today.

By the sheer fact that you live in the United States you are benefiting from the history of genocide and continued colonialism of Native peoples. That land you're standing on? Indian land. Taken illegally so your ancestor who came to the US could buy it and live off it, gaining valuable capital (both monetary and cultural) that passed down through the generations to you. Have I benefited as well, given I was raised in a white, suburban community? yes. absolutely. but by dismissing and minimizing the continued subordination and oppression of Natives in the US by donning your headdress, you are contributing to the culture of power that continues the cycle today.

But I don't mean it in that way, I just think it's cute!

• Well hopefully I've illuminated that there's more at play here than just a "cute" fashion choice. Sorry for taking away your ignorance defense.

But I consider it honoring to Native Americans!

• I think that this cartoon is a proper answer, but I'll add that having a drunken girl wearing a headdress and a bikini dancing at an outdoor concert does not honor me. I remember reading somewhere that it was also "honoring the fine craftsmanship of Native Americans". Those costume shop chicken feather headdresses aren't honoring Native craftsmanship. And you will be very hard pressed to find a Native artist who is closely tied to their community making headdresses for sale. See the point about their sacredness and significance.\

I'm just wearing it because it's "ironic"!

• I'm all for irony. Finger mustaches, PBR, kanye glasses, old timey facial hair, 80's spandex--fine, funny, a bit over-played, but ironic, I guess. Appropriating someone's culture and cavorting around town in your skinny jeans with a feathered headdress, moccasins, and turquoise jewelry in an attempt to be ‘counterculture’? Not ironic. If you’re okay with being a walking representative of 500+ years of colonialism and racism, or don’t mind perpetuating the stereotypes that we as Native people have been fighting against for just as long, by all means, go for it. But by embracing the current tribal trends you aren’t asserting yourself as an individual, you are situating yourself in a culture of power that continues to oppress Native peoples in the US. And really, if everyone is doing it, doesn't that take away from the irony? am I missing the point on the irony? maybe. how is this even ironic? I'm starting to confuse myself. but it's still not a defense.

Stop getting so defensive, it's seriously just fashion!

• Did you read anything I just wrote? It's not "just" fashion. There is a lot more at play here. This is a matter of power and who has the right to represent my culture. (I also enjoy asking myself questions that elicit snarky answers.)

What about the bigger issues in Indian Country? Poverty, suicide rates, lack of resources, disease, etc? Aren't those more important that hipster headdresses?

• Yes, absolutely. But, I'll paraphrase Jess Yee in this post, and say these are very real issues and challenges in our communities, but when the only images of Natives that Americans see are incorrect, and place Natives in the historic past, it erases our current presence, and makes it impossible for the current issues to exist in the collective American consciousness. Our cultures and lives are something that only exist in movies or in the past, not today. So it's a cycle, and in order to break that cycle, we need to question and interrogate the stereotypes and images that erase our current presence--while we simultaneously tackle the pressing issues in Indian Country. They're closely linked, and at least this is a place to start.
  

Well then, Miss Cultural Appropriation Police, what CAN I wear?

If you choose to wear something Native, buy it from a Native. There are federal laws that protect Native artists and craftspeople who make genuine jewelry, art, etc. (see info here about The Indian Arts and Crafts Act). Anything you buy should have a label that says "Indian made" or "Native made". Talk to the artist. find out where they're from. Be diligent. Don't go out in a full "costume". It's ok to have on some beaded earrings or a turquoise ring, but don't march down the street wearing a feather, with loaded on jewelry, and a ribbon shirt. Ask yourself: if you ran into a Native person, would you feel embarrassed or feel the need to justify yourself? As commenter Bree pointed out, it's ok to own a shirt with kimono sleeves, but you wouldn't go out wearing full kabuki makeup to a bar. Just take a minute to question your sartorial choices before you go out.

Let's go down the list of the Hipster cultural bingo, why don't we



This whole thing is just as bad as running around in a pope hat and a bikini. Actually, that sounds like it makes some fashion sense. Why don't the hipsters get on top of that. Somebody better get that going cause pope hat and bikini is so totally post modern hipster status.

Where was I again? Oh yeah. That's right - the rape of the American west by the soulless red man.



What was up with those red men anyway? No one's really sure what the Indians were doing to the Buffalo but it must have been pretty damn sick because millions of those noble creatures committed suicide by jumping in front of the white man's guns.

Did you know that a peaceful napping general Custer was murdered in his sleep by bloodthirsty Indians while he was on a family camping trip? The sheer horror of it!

Then again, if there's any one reason to justify this it's that "White culture is boring", which is a pretty good argument for this whole thing.

Today's Blog Is Brought To You By The Phrase "Get Over It"

Today's Blog Is Brought To You By The Phrase "Get Over It"

A couple of days ago I came across a Katy Perry video that was a preview for the new Sesame Street season. I tossed it up on Facebook as did another million people and thought nothing really of it. Well, it seems like people were offended by such display of a big chested girl in a dress

A clip of Katy Perry singing "Hot N Cold" with Elmo was leaked online earlier this week and some parents were unhappy with the way the pop star's breasts were on display. The video began racking up views -- to the tune of nearly 1 million -- and some nasty comments along the lines of "they're gonna have to rename it cleavage avenue," TMZ reports. Now, a "Sesame Street" spokesperson has announced that it no longer plans to air Perry's tête-à-tête with Elmo

Are you fucking serious? I mean, really?! REALLY?! I, as well as others, thought that it was a lot cuter and fun than the actual video she was parodying. Not to mention that she's not really that exposed. Her tits aren't as pushed up as they normally seem to be out in public. Not to mention that it seems like that's just her body type. She has big boobs. Get over it. In the event that you want to see what's all the fuss about it, here's the video.



So because mothers complained to company that their child may see some clevage, something they see far more of at the local mall, on TV. Especially when you consider what else they're doing this season on Sesame Street;

With the 41st season of "Sesame Street" set to premiere Sept. 27th, there's a surprising source of inspiration for a segment that will be seen later this season: HBO's "True Blood." Here's an exclusive sneak peek at a puppet-filled parody that draws straight from the diner scene that opened the show in the series premiere.

Yes, that's right. They're doing a parody called True Mud. And people are being outraged by a dress that, by all accounts, their daughter would wear to the ballet and didn't have that "umph" that most of her other dresses do to highlight her chest marvels.

And why are these folks acting like this is by any means a new thing. Sesame Street did a Mad Men parody just last year. They do this so that when you're sitting in front of the television with your kids watching what they are, you wont be completely bored and want to shoot yourself as you would watching children's programing.


What she wore for story time at the local learning annex

Just turn on Teletubbies for ten minutes and try not to go insane. So maybe it's a nice thing that they cater to these kids. Will the kid suddenly get something they weren't suppose to? No! Chances are they wont even know what the fuck it is. They like to see muppets talk

Though I have to say, having parodies of shows that kids would not have heard of don't get any more stranger than when Cookie Monster took on the classic.. Twin Peaks.



In short, Sesame street is all about pleasing the kids as well as adults. So get the fuck over it, cry baby parents who think that their child is being shown breast on television. Don't give me this "our kids get enough portraits of sex elsewhere. This was nothing more than a silly little parody song with more focus on Elmo than on her boobs.

I'd like to thank the following letters for this blog: F and U

Ask Me And I'll Tell You....Wait, Don't Tell Me

Ask Me And I'll Tell You....

So, there's this little thing called Don't Ask Don't Tell. You may have heard of it was deemed illegal and unconstitutional by some judge in Riverside. Obama made one of his many promises to repeal it some time back;


So what is this crazy thing of not asking and specifically not telling? It's the thing where if you're gay and you say it out loud in the military, then you get kicked out of there. Mainly because they don't want to make the armed forces more gay than they already are.

In any event, our amazing congress did a thing... or should I say DIDN'T do anything.

Washington (CNN) -- A defense bill that includes the repeal of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy failed to advance in the U.S. Senate on Tuesday as Republicans closed ranks to keep the bill from coming up for debate.

The bill stalled on a 56-43 vote, four short of the 60 votes needed to break a Republican-led filibuster. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nevada, joined the opposition as a tactical move, allowing him to bring it up later.

Republicans stood united against the measure even though some GOP senators favor lifting the Pentagon's requirement that gays and lesbians keep their sexuality a secret. Republican opponents complained that Democratic leaders are limiting the debate and could have refused to allow GOP amendments to the broader National Defense Authorization Act, which included the "don't ask, don't tell" repeal provision.

President Obama had promised to repeal the congressionally enacted ban on military service by openly gay and lesbian sevicemembers. Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs said the White House is "disappointed" at the Senate vote, "but we'll keep trying."

"The president obviously continues to urge Congress to act, and is working as well with the Pentagon to see this come to fruition," Gibbs said.

The legislation, which is a broad defense policy bill, would not rescind "don't ask, don't tell" until after the Pentagon completes a review of the repeal's impact on the military. The review is due in December and would serve as the basis for certification by the president, defense secretary and chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff that the military could handle repealing the policy.

On Tuesday, the general nominated to head the Marine Corps told a Senate committee that he believes responses from Marines on repealing the "don't ask, don't tell" policy have been mostly negative so far.

Gen. James Amos said he had heard that at Marine bases and in Marines' responses to an online survey, the feeling "is predominantly negative." He added, however, "I don't know that as a fact."

In written answers to the Senate Armed Services Committee, Amos said he opposes repeal of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy now because it could disrupt cohesion due to "significant change during a period of extended combat operations." At the same time, Amos made clear that he would oversee a repeal if ordered to do so.

"The Marine Corps is probably one of the most faithful services you have in our country," Amos said. "And if the law is changed by Congress and signed by the president of the United States, the Marine Corps will get in step and do it smartly."

At a rally Monday in Maine, pop star Lady Gaga called on both Collins and Snowe to join Democrats in overcoming the expected GOP filibuster attempt. To loud cheers from the crowd, Gaga said she was proposing a new law titled, "If you don't like it, go home," which would remove homophobic straight soldiers from the military instead of gay soldiers.

"If you are not honorable enough to fight without prejudice, go home," she shouted.

Really... I'm surprised by all this. Yes. Indeed. Completely surprised..... Oh wait. No. I'm not. But hey, let's take a look at who voted down the party lines because.. well, it should be interesting, right?

NAYs ---43
Alexander (R-TN)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Bennett (R-UT)
Bond (R-MO)
Brown (R-MA)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Collins (R-ME)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Crapo (R-ID)
DeMint (R-SC)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Graham (R-SC)
Grassley (R-IA)
Gregg (R-NH)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hutchison (R-TX)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kyl (R-AZ)
LeMieux (R-FL)
Lincoln (D-AR)
Lugar (R-IN)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Pryor (D-AR)
Reid (D-NV)
Risch (R-ID)
Roberts (R-KS)
Sessions (R-AL)
Shelby (R-AL)
Snowe (R-ME)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Voinovich (R-OH)
Wicker (R-MS)

I guess it comes to no surprise. Democrats whose future in November is unlikely are a lot more likely to lean right as a strategic action to save their ass. But what is surprising is Graham (R-SC). I mean, really? Really?! Then again, he'd probably doesn't want to do something that will out him even more and his BFF is leading the filibuster on all this.

By god, the Democrats are so bad that Republicans are able to stall an issue simply so they can take credit for passing it in the next Congress. Now that's comic book villainy. It's gotten so bad that in America, allowing gay men to murder defenseless browns while openly declaring their sexual preference is considered a cause for the left.

But maybe I shouldn't be upset. Why should I? I'm not gay, right? And should it really bother me that gays can't kill anyone for the government while being openly homosexual. Oh wait, am I compromising on treating people as equal

It's sort of like letting Catholics into the KKK because it's a small step towards eliminating discrimination. Then again, it should be more about getting rid of another form of institutionalized discrimination than anything else. Not to mention that without a peoples army, the people have nothing.



If you allow homosexuals into the military, you will deny the large hetero majority the comfort of their pastor even as they stare death in the face.

I hate to say it, but DADT is hardly hurting the military anyway. The bloodthirsty gays who murder the most browns will just stay in the closet. The difference between DADT and no DADT is a guy who is allowed or not allowed to say "I'm gay" before killing that brown sand person.

And the best and final line of that article is this one..

The White House is "disappointed" at the Senate vote, "but we'll keep trying."

Meanwhile, the Montana GOP wants to outlaw homosexuality

Yes, it's just the primary platform for one state and yes, it'll get thrown out later when the actual election manifesto gets released, but it's still official party policy that gays should be criminals, and has been for 12 years, despite the fact that it would be illegal.

At some point, the gay community need to realize that they'll never be accepted by these armed forces people, no matter how fucking macho you are, no matter how many of their bullshit wars you participate in, n matter how many Muslims you torture to death in illegal prisons.

If there's any sort of wise wisdom I could impart on anyone, if I could even spew out wise wisdom is you're better off Fighting them, not fighting for them.

There's Gold In Them There Hills?

There's Gold In Them There Hills?

Ron Paul's such a.. well, I have no idea what to say about the fella. He's something alright. Right now he's question if there's actually gold at Fort Knox

Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) said he plans to introduce legislation next year to force an audit of U.S. holdings of gold.

Paul, a longtime critic of the Federal Reserve and U.S. monetary policy, said he believes it's "a possibility" that there might not actually be any gold in the vaults of Fort Knox or the New York Federal Reserve bank.

The libertarian lawmaker told Kitco News, a website tracking news about precious metals, that an audit was necessary to determine how much the U.S. maintains in gold reserves in case the government were to use gold to back the dollar.

“If there was no question about the gold being there, you think they would be anxious to prove gold is there,” he said.

“Our Federal Reserve admits to nothing, and they should prove all the gold is there. There is a reason to be suspicious and even if you are not suspicious why wouldn’t you have an audit?

“I think it is a possibility," Paul said when asked if there was truth to rumors that there was actually no gold at Ft. Knox or the New York Fed.

Paul had been one of the Republicans to spearhead a broader audit of the Fed as part of the Wall Street reform bill passed through Congress this year. The provision, which was weakened somewhat in the final version, found Paul joining with a number of Democrats to require the Fed to open its books and outline its assets and liabilities.

The gold reserves, which Paul's new bill would audit, are generally seen as a guarantee on a nation's currency, but the U.S. moved the dollar away from being tied to the price of gold in 1972.

Paul stopped short of calling for the reinstitution of the gold standard and instead called for the government to allow the use of hard currency — gold and silver tender — alongside the use of the dollar.

"If people get tired of using the paper standard they can deal in gold or silver,” he said.

Isn't Ron Paul so adorable? But perhaps if you're a fat German gold investor, this should force you to change plans.



Or maybe if you're just some German dude who has a score to settle with a rough and cut New York police man and want to steal money from the Knox, you'd probably look to a different plan up your sleeve.

But you really can't blame Ron. He just wants access to Fort Knox. Who knows what he'll do once he's inside! Maybe Ron Paul just wants to dive in a bin full of gold coins like Scrooge McDuck. I'm not saying that it's wrong to want to do that, but perhaps that doesn't make him the best candidate out there to do it. Besides, we all know Fort Knox has no more gold. Isn't that right, boys?



Not anymore, that's right! Wehehe

On a quick side note to launch into some social commentary on the fact that these guys ALWAYS wore their prison uniforms, including the cumbersome number plate, even when they were clearly outside of jail. They *defined* themselves through what the state had done to them. And I thought nothing of it while watching the cartoons as a child. It's only now years later after going through the forced re-education of living through this shitty capitalistic culture that I see these things.

I'm not sure what Ron is implying with all this. That we may not even have the gold to back up the dollar. Maybe we should do away with cash altogether and just work with gold as our currency. How would you like carrying a brick of gold in your back pocket? No, no. That would be using gold instead of the fiet dollar bill in your pocket. Then there's a lot of goldbugs out there that wouldn't mind doing that.

What I'm saying is that I'm not really sure I have a problem with allowing goldbugs to trade in gold instead of fiat currency if they want to. I don't plan on doing it, so why should I care if they do? Presumably because it would somehow give the US government even less control of capital than it has already and in effect creates a full-blown monetary system completely run by private corporations.



I mean, the federal reserve is quasi-governmental as it is, but at least there's some nominal degree of control going on. Though they would retain control over their currency which would still be used by virtually everybody but a few people with stupid gold fever. And those people would rapidly find that their krugerrands aren't accepted at the grocery store.

Besides, businesses don't want to deal in gold because dealing in paper currency is enough of a security problem, the average grocery store isn't going to be able to store enough doubloons to get through a business day. But hey, legalize gold, let goldbugs have their fun. Nothing will change.

About the worst consequence would be that most business that deal in hard currency would just abandon them altogether and go credit only. And despite what you may think, they don't want to do that because they get fucked by credit companies just as much as consumers do.



In general though, the real idea about goldbugs is that they want as close to constant deflation as possible to fuck over poor people. That's why they hate the fed/fiat money since it allows the possibility of some inflation and they can't just screw over the poor and live in ye old feudal times that way. Everyone else who hates fiat money, they probably just don't know how it works.

Especially since we now realize gold is not incredibly useful for anything beyond a few minor industrial applications and selling to the next sucker. Besides that, gold is being prospected and mined every day. In real terms it's been a much worse investment than you would imagine.

For my money, I say fuck all that noise. I'm investing in ammo and can openers. Both of which will serve as the currency in our post apocalyptic barter system.



Did you know that currency has its own police force in the united states? Isn't that some comical shit. From a Marxist angle that's a goldmine. And you can't forget the secret service, who was originally solely for the purpose of combating counterfeiters and still does to this day. At least they protect the president and arrest people who write mean things about him on the internet from time to time also. Unlike the mint police who don't do a whole lot more than protect money..

Then again, most people who criticize the gold standard have very little idea how the current system of money works. If you're curious, I would suggest reading The Mystery of Banking by Murray Rothbard. It covers everything well from start to finish http://mises.org/Books/mysteryofbanking.pdf



Over all, I say why the fuck not audit the fed. They sure have a lot of fun auditing small business owners. Besides, it hasn't been visited since 74. That's a long time.

World's Wildest Car Chases

World's Wildest Car Chases

Living in So Cal means that in the afternoon you're not faced with cartoons. It's judge shows and every so often you get a couple of surprises in the middle of them in the form of a car chase.

Oh, don't act as if you're above a good car chase. No one is above a good car chase and they happen a lot here. It's sort of the unofficial sport of the local stations. We watch with the intent on seeing some crazy ending. Because that's all it is - the moments before the shit hits the fan and we can't pull our eyes away from it.

With that in mind, here's all the satisfaction without any of the waiting.. well, if you skip the story. But if you read it, then perhaps it'll tease you enough for a massive car accident.

A single car crash on Interstate 675 shut down the southbound lanes in Sugarcreek Twp. for six hours Monday.

Brennan S. Eden, 19, of Mason, Ohio, lost control of his car and slammed into the concrete pillar of a bridge south of Indian Ripple Road about 7:15 a.m.

The force of the crash broke the car into three pieces and Brennan was ejected.

Witnesses said moments before the crash, Brennan was passing other drivers at speeds of at least 100 mph. He crashed when he drove off the left side of the roadway while passing a Sugarcreek Twp. police car. The crash was caught on that officer's cruiser camera.

"He went down into the median, into the grass, hit the guardrail, went airborne and the car hit the center post of the bridge and literally exploded into three main pieces," said witness Mark Riley.

So without further waiting, here's your reward for reading...



All I know is that I want to play GTA with this kid. He's a natural. I can only imagine this happening with the kid honking his "Dixie" horn as he's going airborne. Though he probably didn't see the cop until it was too late to really do anything about it.. other than say OH SHI-

Then again, seeing the officer was probably what made him run off the road. I've seen people drive off the road or become shit stir crazy when they see a cop. So him hauling ass on the not-so-legal parts of the highway and the coming up on a cop got him all fucked up and before he knew it, he went straight for that median.

But for him to survive that car accident is something else entirely. I'm not sure how the hell he did it. I mean, look at that - the car is smashed into a zillion little pieces and he takes off with such craziness.

Then again, that's what we love about car accidents/police chases and all that shit caught on camera. You just don't know what's going to happen. Take this next video as an example. It teaches us the valuable lesson of if at first you don't succeed, spin, spin and spin again...



I want his car. How much damage did it take and it still kept going. Then it got all messed up in the end. But it looked like he was going for yet one more spin. Which would have owned.

Though it wouldn't have owned as much as a whistle tip..



Ah, it's been far too long since I've seen that clip. Now that did bring back old internet memories long before meme's were all the rage to quote and make songs about. As you can tell from there being no remix of that.

But let's go back to the unpredictable nature of these car chases. Look at what could possibly be the craziest driver around.. or at least in Orange County.



I lost it when she stopped and got out of the car to taunt the police officers. Especially since her car just kept going and she was almost shit out of luck. I like to imagine she is saying "What the fuck, stop tailgating me, asshole!"

Car chases puzzle me, does anyone ever get away? I mean, the longer you go on the more cop cars are going to be following you and after a while there's gonna be an helicopter on your ass.
What's the reasoning here? "Maybe if I keep it up long enough they'll get tired?"

Then again, people sometimes do get away.... But not in places like LA that have news and police choppers in the air almost 24/7 and on the scene within moments of the chase. In some places, unless the person is a known felon, they have to break off the chase due to safety reasons.

But otherwise running is a no win situation. There's only two ways it can go. You can either get caught eventually and add a laundry list of charges to your record or this could happen...



Yes.. the guy died. No, the car didn't smash his head... but the accident alone killed him. So yeah... it's probably better to just give up and take your ticket.

The Event: REMAIN INDOORS!

The Event: REMAIN INDOORS!

You're watching the British Emergency Broadcasting System, remain indoors! The estimated date is between March and November 2013, it's nineteen hours. So now, as usual, it is time for The Quiz Broadcast.



Hello ! Good evening and remain indoors.

What is The EV3NT? Nobody knows. We don't know what caused The EV3NT but we do know that it happened on NBC, Monday, Sept. 20th 9/8c. Do not think about the EV3NT.



Starring:

Jason Ritter as Sean Walker
Quintessential boy next-door and self-proclaimed geek. Graduate of MIT. in Computer Science and a (mostly) reformed hacker, Sean spent his college days in front of a computer, and now freelances as a video game programmer. Smart and confident, he wears his heart on his sleeve.

Sean grew up in a low-income household in the suburbs of Chicago. He showed a gift for computer programming from an early age. As his family could not afford a computer of its own, Sean would spend his spare time at his school's computer lab or at the library, often losing track of time and spending hours upon hours writing games and programs of all kinds.



Blair Underwood as President Elias Martinez

Moral and idealistic. Hugely popular with the American people and around the world, President Martinez wants to be a new kind of President, working toward a new America. He's committed to honesty and runs the first truly bipartisan administration in recent history, with Vice President Raymond Jarvis at his side. Two parties, one purpose. Born to Cuban refugees in Miami, Florida, President Martinez is very proud of his Afro-Cuban roots. He is a graduate of Yale University.



Sarah Roemer (her from off Disturbia) as Leila Buchanan

Sean's girlfriend. Smart and athletic, she studied Biochemistry at MIT. Has a very close relationship with her family, parents Michael and Valerie, and younger sister Samantha, . Leila is a nature lover, and she and Sean often go rock climbing and hiking together. Leila has a very strong inner core, and is not afraid to meet challenges head on.



So will this mystery show be any good? Who knows. One thing is certain;

DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE EVENT, IT IS IN THE PAST. THINKING ABOUT THE EVENT MAY LEAD TO DISTRESS.