OKTOBERFEST!

OKTOBERFEST!
Jump into your lederhosen and make sure those boobs are properly holstered in that dirndl, it's time for Oktoberfest!



Let's just get this out of way.. I like two things - Drinking and cleavage. What? can you blame me? I'm a guy. sheesh. Give me a break! Moving on, so perhaps it should come to no surprise that I love me some Oktoberfest. Where else can you toast for 17/18 days straight?

You want to talk about holidays that are simply days off and excuses to drink in America? Our stuff doesn't even touch the surface of what an excuse to party Oktoberfest is. Oh, I guess before we move on to the more educational topics, we probably should get that one Oktoberfest stock photo that ALWAYS gets posted whenever someone mentions Oktoberfest, Drinking or Hot chicks in a dirndl



Yup. Okay, we can move on now. The only tragic thing is that I'm posting this blog at the tail end of the celebration. If I did so at the start of it we'd be in mid-September and I would get a lot of people asking "Isn't Oktoberfest in October?" I would say.. not really. It actually ends the first weekend of October but always starts in September.

I should probably warn you, this blog post is going to be image heavy.. as well as top heavy! Boooyah! I'm striking these jokes out of the park! Okay, I'll stop (maybe) But what is there really to say about Oktoberfest that images of massive amount of alcohol consumption can't sum up?



Perhaps the history would be good as justification for a lot of beer drinking and bockwurst and pretzel consumption. You see, it all goes back exactly 200 years ago.. The first Oktoberfest happened in 1810 after the marriage of Prince Ludwig and Princess Therese of Saxe. The party was so awesome that they made it an annual tradition.

Then, much like any holiday they expanded it to increase Bavarian agriculture and eventually find it to be an easy method to promote their local economy and it's for a good reason, Oktoberfest has become the largest party in the world. Drawing in a couple million people with ease. Then again, do you really need to do a hard sell for women and beer?



During Oktoberfest the six original Munich breweries all make their special Oktoberfest beer, which is fairly stronger compared to their normal offerings. But these six breweries this year came together to make a 200th anniversary edition for the festivities. Just more proof that it's all about working together on these issues.

And aren't I thankful that they're doing so. I mean, in the end it's us, the people, who benefit from the whole process of delicious beer being made. Am I not write? It's great when things go together..



Its been a while since I've made pointless sexual reference comment so let's just get them out there. I'd invader her Poland! Or perhaps I could just penetrate her Polish Corridor. Infiltrate her Pripet Marsh. Crash through her Falaise Gap. I'm on a roll here!

But there does seem to be some sort of conflict. Or at least some sort of tension going on specifically due to the choice of traditional clothing that is coming under fire..

MUNICH—Surrounded by the bratwurst stands and beer wagons of Oktoberfest, Alexandra Coroian, a 24-year-old Romanian in pigtails, pulls at the ruffle of her short scarlet dirndl, exposing a black lace petticoat underneath.

"I really like these costumes," she says, demonstrating how she hacked off the bottom half of the traditional dress. "I think I'll wear it many more times. It looks so nice." Long the preserve of fräuleins and Alpine cultural enthusiasts, dirndls and lederhosen have become an international fashion trend in recent years, inspiring ever bolder iterations that purists say are transforming their proud heritage into a vulgar caricature.

The front line of this battle runs through the Wiesn, the 100-acre fairgrounds in the center of Munich that is home to Oktoberfest, the city's 17-day fete of beer, wurst and schnapps that is marking its 200th anniversary this year.



Critics say the Wiesn has warped from a quaint Volksfest into a cultural wasteland: women in lederhosen, the occasional man in a dirndl, and celebrities such as Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton flaunting designer renditions that cost thousands of dollars.

"It's become like Mardi Gras—it's appalling," says Ursula Fröhmer, a Munich tailor who specializes in the authentic Germanic folk costumes known as tracht.

And the style is catching on far from Munich, with lederhosen made for women turning up in recent collections by designers such as Yves Saint Laurent and Alice + Olivia.

Lederhosen are the short leather breeches, often with matching suspenders, associated broadly with Germany, though they are unique to Bavaria and other areas of the Alps. The female equivalent is the dirndl, a knee-to-floor-length dress with a tight bodice that accentuates a woman's chest. Both styles were famously worn by the cast of "The Sound of Music."



"You know, I appreciate and like those people that are doing the traditional styles," says Ms. Paltinger. "But I, for myself, I have to do something else and something different."

She says the reason for the dirndl's appeal to the fashion set, or to anyone for that matter, is clear. "Men love to see dirndls on their women," she says. "All men love dirndls and love the décolletage of their wives or their girlfriends, because it's really sexy."

The 550 dresses she makes each year sell for up to $4,000 each. Business, she says, has grown steadily since she started a decade ago. From her sixth-floor showroom down the street from Munich's Isar Gate, she now regularly outfits Munich's power set and celebrities.

Amen to that. Why yes, I do find it sexy. And before you people jump all up on me about turning in my feminist card realize this.. I bet none of you will say that you don't find a man in a suit sexy. Yeah, that's right. We're both equal in objectifying each other when it fits the need of wearing something the opposite sex finds attractive.

The Dirndl is indeed hot. Who can contest that a dress that puts a major focus on cleavage would be bad? I guess those who aren't very comfortable with their cleavage showing, but still.. who are those people and why don't they loosen up with a couple of beers. I'm sure there's tons of gallons of beer around.



You know what? There actually is a lot of beer around here. Just for Oktoberfest alone a beer company will produce 1 million liters of the festival brew. That's a lot of bottles of wall to count. You better get started counting down.

During Oktoberest, that's six million liters of beer sold and then some. 30% of all the beer manufactured by the six breweries for the year is consumed during the two week festival. That's not even counting how many sausages and pretzels are consumed, because I mean, that's a lot of beer to drink without a single thing to soak it up.




Hey Fotolia, this is the internet. I don't care if these pictures are copyrighted to you based on the million of stamps you put on there, I'll still gladly use them. I'm sure "Fotolia" doesn't distract from boobage, beerage and already awesomeness.

See, we'll even get another picture and post it here.. Because that's just how I roll when I'm drunk.



If you're wondering, it's not actually a bad crowd. From what I can tell with crime reports, there isn't that many people actually getting BAD drunk at Oktoberfest. It's more like a sea of really really happy drunks. It clearly must be something in the water they use to brew the stuff.

But it's true. You would think that the easy scapegoat that is always used for drinking festivities is that drinking will lead to problems and fights. But for Oktoberfest, there's not a whole lot of that bad element. I guess the whole coming together with strangers to drink and converse with them comes across well.



I mean that. Going to the Hofbrauhaus in Vegas is probably 1/100th on the fun level that going to Munich is, but you get the sense that everyone is there for a good time and the drama is left at home. Let alone the walls that prevent you from talking to strangers. Most all the seating at these beer tents are communal seating, so you're encouraged to strike up a conversation with the neighbors.

Come on, even you socially inept devoted readers of mine could probably get a number, be it fake or not, from being a little social and having that much alcohol flow through the chambers of the festival.



Though I have to admit one thing.. I find it annoying that places like to capitalize on this for the entire two months time. In Los Angeles, there's a place called Alpine Village that does it for the entire month of September and October. That's a bit more than the two week time period that goes back in history.

The why to this? Well, it's simple - It gives folks a socially acceptable reason to drink. Much like a football game or a BBQ. Oktoberfest is that one time when the wife isn't going to nag you much for getting completely trashed in front of everyone because, hey, it's Oktoberfest after all.



So I guess the lesson there is that you should have some sort of restrain. Regardless if you base your yearly sales on just that holiday, it's not that solid of a economic plan. I mean, just think of the whole Christmas stores that are year round. You need something else to keep you going..

Then again, with the draw of booze and babes in boob centric clothing... I'm pretty sure that they sold themselves year round, so how about you just ease up on making an extended Oktoberfest festivities and depend on folks to come in for booze and babes.

To the rest of you, Have a great Oktoberfest!