Hating Haiti

Hating Haiti

You know that old saying that someone upstairs must like you? Yeah, it's pretty clear that who ever is up there watching over Haiti has been on a smoking break for a while now.

Isn't it fortunate that we helped them out with so much timely effective aid and reconstruction so they have safe shelter instead of just abandoning them and letting them rot as soon as the cameras stopped filming after a terrible earthquake?

But oh boy, wouldn't we look like a bunch of morons if we had done something like that and then some major hurricane just comes right up to their land in less than a year later and killed a bunch of people living in diseased out refugee camps. Man, that sure would be pretty embarrassing, wouldn't it?



Why hey, is that a hurricane heading straight for Haiti? A land that was ravished by an earthquake, plagued with diseases and now they're going to get shit on with a a tropical storm from hell.

It's amazing how the dots predicting the path spell out "SSSSHHH." It's like you're expecting it to finish it off with the "HIIITTTT."

What exactly did Haiti do to piss off the gods so much? Do we need to dig up Christopher Columbus' corpse and salt his bones before burning them to remove this curse? Or maybe there's just a more rational explanation involving rich white people volunteering and making a profit off of Haiti's misery. To the point that every natural disaster that happens there is just amplified a thousandfold to squeeze more money out of us.

I know, it must be those fucking Columbus bones cursed.

It's not like they're in any good position here. With 303 officially recognized cholera deaths, which is really a low number compared to what the actual unreported account. It really makes you wonder, given the whole notion that Cholera was solved a couple hundred years ago by not shitting in the same water you drink. Amazing discovery, I know. Don't shit where you drink. But yet the fine folks in Haiti can't even get that one down.

A joint report in September by the City University of New York’s Haiti Initiative and Haiti’s Faculty of Ethnology found that 40 percent of camps don’t have access to water and 30 percent have no toilets.

Well then. That explains that one. I'll tell you one thing, after today, they won't be suffering from a lack of water. Thems for sure.

I do have to wonder - if the people die of thirst, who will eat all the monsanto drone-crops generously allotted by the fiat monists? Not the same people who can afford handrolled Cuban cigars, right?

And forget the notion that it sounds like imperialism, perhaps some actual foreign aid would sound nice right about now. Or maybe Haitians should start taking some responsibility for their own government. Though maybe they need to start off slow given the fact that they're still using dirt for food.

Either way, Haiti is going to get slammed so badly that you might as well open up your check books and get ready to write another check that won't ever touch a Haitian's hands. But hey, it'll make you feel good about your day.