Happy New Year

Happy New Year

Wait, aren't I a good 23 days too late in telling you this? NOT IF WE'RE GOING BY THE MOTHERFUCKIN' CHINESE CALENDAR, YO!

Happy Year of the dragon. Being that I am a year of the monkey, I have no idea what any of this actually means. But since I post daily I figure that it's well worth digging into and letting you find out about why the Chinese just keep their old calendars for a few more weeks than we do.



You see, they too have 12 characters in their calendar, only they're animals in the order of Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog and pig. Sadly cat was fooled that day by rat and didn't make it to become one of the zodiac symbols. These 12 Zodiac symbols cycle through every 12 years and it just depends on what year you were born that will be your Zodiac animal.

So what does the Dragon mean? Well, it's a water dragon. Which means that each year is an element-metal zodiac and this being water it goes with water, wood, fire and earth. The water calms the dragon and it is a year where we can see other points of view. The Chinese believe that the dragon is unpredictable and untouchable. All of this is pretty meaningless when you think about it. But it's nice to think about so there you go.

On this day you tell each other Gung Hay Fat Choy as it means best wishes and congratulations. Have a prosperous and good year in Cantonese and is the proper way to greet people on New Year's Day.

Now what do you have to do to have a successful new year? No resolutions required here, just a simple check list of things to do:

1. Clean your home before the new year's day as it washes away the dirt of the year before.
-This is a lot like NYE for everyone else. Only it's puking it all out that gets rid of the bad of the year before.

2. Buy new clothes, get a hair cut, and shoes, for a fresh start in the new year
-Time to go to Chinatown to buy some cheap knock offs!

3. A red piece of clothing for the New Years brings good luck because it is the color of luck
-I always said this. One of the main reasons why I'm so darn attracted to redheads.

4. Prepare something sweet for new year's day. It helps bring sweet things to the year.
-Also diabetic comas.

5. Remember that the Chinese New Year is considered as the new beginning, which literally means, let bygones be bygones.
-It means that all those bridges you burned since your last reset on January 1st are now back to being good.

6. Red paper on your door will bring you luck. Chinatown sells the lucky red New Year's paper for doors, but if you can't get to Chinatown, a nice piece of red paper will do.
-Red on the doors for the Jews wasn't so lucky..

7. On New Year's Day, we are not supposed to wash our hair because it would mean we would have washed away good luck for the New Year.
-So go out and party with that stinky unwashed hair.

8. Go to Chinatown for the Dragon Dance and firecrackers. Firecrackers scare off the bad spirits so that only good spirits will begin the New Year.
-Don't rush out today. The celebration happens on Saturday.

So there you have it folks, Gung Hay Fat Choy!