Poll Dancing

Poll Dancing

I'm not referring to THAT type of poll dancing. I'm talking about politics..


Oh, come on. Don't walk away so quickly. I swear it won't be as boring as the term Politics implies it will be. But it's something we really need to talk about. Because, seriously, this shit is annoying. As it stands the polls are talking about how this Presidential race is neck and neck, at least as reported by polls in the weeks before the election... Just like in 2008, 2004 and 2000...

You know, for that matter EVERY GOD DAMN ELECTION IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.

It really makes you ponder the purpose of why we do pre-election polls other than to give TV gasbags something to talk about. I can't think of a single positive reason for them to exist and about a dozen for why they should be outlawed altogether.

Giving those fare weather fans a reason to jump ship to the "winning" side, for one thing is a great reason why we should just banish them. The better reason though, is because they're all full of shit and have no real scientific baring as they can be tampered with so easily and mean so little. It's sad because you can make arguments, really bad ones, for lots of things in our electoral system. But I just can't thin of even a bad argument that would justify these polls existence as a benefit to the people other than it's insta-narrative to work with in a low content news hour.

I guess it saves journalist from actually going out and talking to people. Now every think tank asshole can just sit in a studio and read the polling tea-leaves and how X event will play in middle America. It's all horse race bullshit that should have no part in our election process. It adds nothing in making a judgement about whether X or Y policy is any good or bad for the average American. They can just yap on about how it's perceived and what the political fallout will be. All due to the cable news being so ex-political beltway types that either pretend they still are inside the system or wishing they were inside the system and so everything turns into gamesmanship and insider-speak and polls are at the center of it all.

Is Obama-care good or bad? Who the fuck cares, too hard! Let's just look at some polls at where Obama is in the race.

Then there's debate coverage, which has to be the worst fucking thing in the world. 

Well, here we are Jason Bell and Susan Obregan for a post debate round up. Well Jim, I think Romney won by a small margin because he had the dreamiest steely gaze while he spat unmitigated bullshit left and right into the nation's face. Oh, I concur Susan. Might I add that he really had great posture while detailing his plans to march on a road of bones through Main street America? However, I think we can both agree that Obama should have bucked up a bit while delivering his own smattering pile of inane half-truth bullshit and straight outright lies. 


Did Obama blink too much during the debate? We go to Harold Douchnozle from the Washington instittue to see how this will play in Ohio. We now turn to Hank Tuggywuggy to mangle some sports metaphors to no great effect. Can't forget to include those who are stuck in the sports zone. 

Thanks Bob! I really think Obama was playing clutch defense tonight. No long balls and no hail mary's to speak of. Just a sure tight hold on his position. Now if you look right here on the replay, he's keeping a tight pocket and running down the clock while Romney is just pitching elbows all over the court. Mittey-boy is just swinging for the fences right there while Barry needed to call in his clean up crew before he got completely skunked and that trick downtown pop fly dfslkaklfjalk;;dljlfasljl;kdakl; kf Fuuuuuuuuuuck

Forget what they said. It's not our jobs. HA! Coming up next, seven hours straight of Lockup. Good night and go fuck yourself, America!