WHAT A CROC OF SHIT

WHAT A CROC OF SHIT

Oh hey, are you one of those weird people who likes to wear Crocs to normal functions? I mean, I don't know what the fuck is your problem, but it seems that maybe after the most prolific Crocs wearer, Mario Batali, was swept up with the MeToo movement and washed away, that the company faced some hard times as it seems that Crocs is closing all its manufacturing facilities as the CFO resigns.

Crocs said it expects fiscal 2018 revenue of about $1.02 billion, below analysts' expectations of $1.05 billion.  Crocs Inc. said it's closing a manufacturing facility in Mexico and said it also plans to close its last manufacturing facility in Italy.  The Niwot shoemaker (Nasdaq: CROX) also said that its CFO is resigning. Crocs said it's closing all of its company-owned manufacturing facilities "in connection with ongoing efforts to simplify the business and improve profitability."

Bummer, man. I mean, where are fathers with no fashion sense going to turn to for piss poor footwear options? Seriously, who the hell owns Crocs? Let alone wears them?  I get it. Maybe someone gave you a shitty gift. But if you are actively wearing them out in public. Man, what's wrong with you?

I used to say the same thing about Uggs, because, let's face it, Uggs are ugly. Then my girlfriend sort of wore them all the time and I had to shut up a little about that cause, you know, lack of balls and all that. I mean, you know which battles to pick. Then again, they were sort of knock off Uggs, which I don't know if it's better or worse. It's sort of like fake diamonds, sure, you're not directly encouraging blood diamonds, but you're still perpetuating the whole stigma that shiny rocks are worth something.

In this case I can easily say I will never wear crocs and if the way the company is going is any indication, I doubt they will be around for too much longer. Maybe they can sell their remaining inventory to Italian restaurants so they can be used to strain pasta. Either way, Fuck Crocs.

Yes, I'm jaded. But not stupid. See, I'm not wearing Crocs.