I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE 

On the last Tuesday of January lands the national day like most other national days randomly scattered along the calendar year. But today's National Day is National Plan a Vacation day. Honestly, I fucking need it.

The other day I got a letter for the Estate of my ex's mom and it sort of hit me. I mean, it's just a collections attempt and I'm used to seeing this sort of that stuff because I had to deal with it when my own father passed away a little more than six years ago and for the years that followed. It was frustrating and most of all, I was confused more so that they'd send it to me when my ex basically made sure all her mail was sent to her new place. Anyhow, I guess collections will just try to reach out to where ever could potentially be a relative.

Okay, enough of that. Just an example of what sort of shit I have been going through. On top of somehow getting a bit more emotional this year about my father's death anniversary, things have just been a bit heavy lately and I have been thinking about the weekend... or those attempts to escape the daily grind - which, I guess is funny for me since my daily grind isn't the average daily grind, so to speak.

But I need to get out. My father traveled a lot. Sometimes it would be fake business travel to places with a mistress, some times it was with my mother to far off places, especially around the next few months time period. Always traveling around my birthday, skipping it. But I have been thinking about it. I haven't done my fair amount of traveling to my liking. I talked a big game and sure, I went to a lot of places the last few years like Colorado and Florida. Most for official business or on the job sort of thing. I miss the open road. I miss the adventure.

I recently took a trip to San Diego for a day and went to places I hadn't gone to when I used to go there every month or so, back in the day. And it was fun. It was a great experience to discover new sights and to just breath in something new even if it was close by. Got to see Frank Baum's house and the Hotel Del Coronado. Which, fun fact, was the inspiration for the Emerald City. Seeing it in person, I can tell you that it did not disappoint. The fixtures, the entire building filled with wood carved everything. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

Anyhow, National Plan for a vacation is more than just some window dressing. Think about it. If you were to die tomorrow would your work give two shits about it? Do you even think that it would have a moment of silence for you? More than likely not. Shit will just move on like another day. Replace your ass in a couple of days as it takes to get background checks and applications submitted. So why give them your hard work, your time and commitment without taking care of your needs first? If you have sick days, use them. If you have time off. Use it. We are too stuck in this rat race to be seen as useful and half the time you're so not appreciated for the person who you are or the work you do. So you really shouldn't give them more than they require.

Take that day of. Schedule some time off and use it for yourself. You only live once and it's only one life to live. You may as well fill it with as many adventures and memories that you can possibly fill in your mind because you don't know what will happen tomorrow.

I'm writing this... after a long time of not writing, because I need to remind myself that the responsibilities that I take, that I'm still here for me and the life I live with be what I owe to myself. So yeah, this year will have a lot more adventures. Will have a lot more follow through to what I will do. I need to hold myself to account and I need to live for me.

So this year I will make it to New York for spring or summer. Shoot to go before it gets too hot and I will goddamn make it a trip filled with delis and Broadway shows and just experiencing things. Because hey, why the fuck not. 

I have a choice to make on making it to this trip to Cuba, but man, I'm heavily leaning towards doing it. Because when else will I do it? When else will I have the chance?  I also want to do Florida and perhaps, even maybe... do Paris. I need to check that off my list. Who knows what the rest of the year has in store for me, but that's some thing I look forward to. I need to go back up to S.F. this year because I owe it to myself to see what I haven't in a long time. And Vegas is a spot, which I don't think it's too crazy, nor is it a big trip. but I need to make it to see the Tim Burton exhibit and I need to go since the last time I went was with my ex and that wasn't the most fun experience and has some bad memories behind it since she had just lost her job and even though I didn't know it, it was the start of her decline into basically moving away from the relationship. Oh well, I still love Vegas. I want to do it right and I'm long over due for a trip that is about having fun and not about putting the needs of others before my own.

basically, that's what this is. Me holding myself to the mark and doing things for myself. For doing trips for myself. Anthony Bourdain, another man I admired and who's death hit me hard, he didn't start his life traveling till he was 43. So now that I'm in this golden years where I'm basically retired of basically doing much other than finding my own passion, It's time for me to fulfill that whole aspect where folks would tell me that I reminded them of Bourdain. I need to travel. To see the world and what it has to offer, what other cultures have to show me about themselves and show me about myself.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the year. I'll make it the best goddamn time and travel that I can possible handle.