Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Three Wolf Moon Shirts Ain't Got Shit On Me!

Three Wolf Moon Shirts Ain't Got Shit On Me!

Fuck you Mom, I don't want to play Xbox360, I'm a Teen Wolf! You need to watch this.. I mean, really. Just watch it.

My gut reaction to the story can be put no other way than this following Sinfield gif.

First off, Learn how to fucking pronounce Clique properly, you fucking cocksuckers! I love how the news report tries to bring you into the story. "What were you in high school?" Yesss! Finally a chance to live my glory days again! Oh white people, stop being so silly.

I like how they mention that Gangsters are posers cause they tag on the walls cause they just want attention and shit. Yet these fools wear wolf tails because? All this is, is a strange mutation of furries.

But let's go down the list of cliques. We got the Cheerleaders, nerds, jocks and goths. Oh yeah, and now we need to include the fucking werewolves. Let's not fool ourselves. These kids are just goth kids with tails. They really need to try harder.

This has got to be the gayest pretense for teenagers to hook up that I've ever seen and I was a huge fucking nerd on the computer club who played Magic:TG when I was a teenager. But again, Gangs are posers and just want attention... right. I like how this news department, instead of reporting on the war or BP's massive oil spill, the news reports on teen werewolves. Clearly a good example that we're fucked as a nation.

These kids are going to kill themselves when they are 25. I was such a douche when I was young and I wanted to kill myself and I was, like, 1% as douchey as this group. They can't even admit that they're going for the whole Team Jacob bullshit of twilight. At least grow a pair and admit to the fact that this is some "hip" attempt to cash in on Twilight craze.

This group is cooler than those werewolf teenagers

Speaking of which, Twilight is like Soccer in that everybody runs around for two hours and nobody scores, then all the fans just say you don't get it. Though they do have rough vampire sex in the last book. Which almost kills bella. She doesn't remember it, cause you know.. HA HA, Robert Patterson sucks, but then when she becomes a vampire she does. Really makes you think.. About what, I have no fucking clue. Back to the freak show here.

I really can't wait till the controversy about the werewolf imprinting and wanting to fuck the baby comes about. That's when this Twilight craze will really seem silly(ier than it already is) The only time teen werewolvness has ever been cool was the 80's and even that shit is questionable.

I worked with the star of Teen Wolf 2 and he didn't have fond memories of that shit. So maybe we should just drink till we forget this shit ever happened.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

BP is actively Poisoning The Clean Up Crews

BP is actively Poisoning The Clean Up Crews

Remember how I told you that they didn't care about who they poison in the clean up crew. Inmates or anyone else. Well, here's another heart warming story about BP and the clean up crew.
Fishermen hired by BP to help with the oil spill cleanup in the Gulf of Mexico are coming down sick with “severe headaches, dizziness, nausea and difficulty breathing” after working long hours in oil- and dispersant-contaminated waters, according to the Los Angeles Times.

This follows a report we flagged on Tuesday about fishermen coming down sick. This one, done by a New Orleans TV station, told a similar story—fishermen reported feeling “drugged and disoriented,” “coughing up stuff,” and feeling “weak.”

Cleanup workers told the Times that they were not given protective equipment—no gloves, no respirators. Here’s BP’s response on the issue, from the Times piece:

BP spokesman Graham McEwen said Tuesday he was unaware of any health complaints among cleanup workers, noting that the company had taken hundreds of samples of so-called volatile organic carbons, such as benzene, and all the levels were well within federal safety standards.

McEwen said the fishermen the company is training are not being deployed into areas that require respirators or breathing apparatus. Those who are working for BP laying booms or skimming oil are issued protective coveralls and gloves, he said.

Note that in that excerpt, BP said it took samples of the possible health risks to cleanup workers.

It has. But as we’ve pointed out, BP’s not releasing that data to the public, and has shared it only with “legitimate interested parties,” including the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. And when OSHA, a federal agency, was asked by McClatchy about releasing the data, it said the data was BP’s, and “not ours to publish.”
Ha! Take that, you poor fucking seamen! What's sandy, smells of death, and is full of dead seaman? The Gulf Coast.

It's adding insult to injury that not only did BP kill the fisherman's way of life, but they are actively trying to kill the fishermen themselves. They were interviewing a bunch of Cajuns on All Things Considered not too long ago and they've basically have resigned themselves to the fact that their lives are completely over.

BP should have acknowledged and alerted those workers that the large amounts of Benzene released by the oil and how it can seriously fuck you up before getting the fishermen to sign a contract to work in cleaning up their mess.
"Those who are working for BP laying booms or skimming oil are issued protective coveralls and gloves, he said."
Ha! What the fuck is this? They might as well advise all their contractors to hold their breath as long as possible in this situation. How much do you want to bet that the contract they signed in a hurry to get even a semblance of their life back and make some money is filled with a lot of small print that prevents them from suing BP.

This whole event is like the radioactive deaths at Chernobyl, but from easily preventable causes of $20 dollar facemasks. And even then, the workers that BP is actively giving respiratory diseases to aren't actually doing anything significant to help in the cleanup anyway. Raking some oil off a beach isn't going to do much and also the booming they're doing is absolutely worthless because they don't know how to fucking boom. It's all just a farce to save face and look good in front of a camera.

Crude oil is full of Benzene and PAHs which are both very bad for your health if you don't want cancer! not to mention whatever the fuck chemicals (it's a secret) are in the Corexit dispersant that BP has pumped the Gulf full of. So basically, Louisiana is like that L4D2 level now. Though one would wonder if it was like that long before the spill.

How do you like these bananas. During the 2008 election cycle, individuals and political action committees associated with BP - a Center for responsive politics' "heavy hitter" - contribute half a million dollars to federal candidates. About 40 percent of these donations went to Democrats. The top recipient of BP-related donations during the 2008 cycle was President Barack Obama himself, who collected $71,000. So in a sense, third world leaders get bought out for far more than our nations leader.

The whole idea that we have any cap limit on damages is also stupid as fuck. It is absolutely absurd for compensatory damages to ever be capped. Punitive damages, fine. But compensatory damages is just paying to clean up the mess you actually made. How fucking hard is that?

Monday, June 28, 2010

Stop Waiting By The Mail Box - Republicans Drop Unemployment Extensions

Stop Waiting By The Mail Box - Republicans Drop Unemployment Extensions

We all know, the times are fucking tough right now. Those who have had unemployment extend well past six months were living on borrowed time. I say that because it's true. The Senate really has been fighting tooth and nail with each other to keep unemployment benefits around in hopes of not pissing off the voters. It looks like that battle came to an end.
Republicans kill Senate jobless aid measure

WASHINGTON – Republicans on Thursday defeated Democrats' showcase election-year jobs bill, including an extension of weekly unemployment benefits for millions of people out of work more than six months.

The 57-41 vote fell three votes short of the 60 required to crack a GOP filibuster, delivering a major blow to President Barack Obama and Democrats facing big losses of House and Senate seats in the fall election.

The rejected bill would have provided $16 billion in new aid to states, preserving the jobs of thousands of state and local government workers and providing what White House officials called an insurance policy against a double-dip recession. It included dozens of tax breaks sought by business lobbyists and tax increases on domestically produced oil and on investment fund managers.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs accused Republicans of blocking a commonsense economic package aimed at helping Americans suffering in the recession. "The president has been clear: Americans should not fall victim to Republican obstruction at a time of great economic challenge for our nation's families," Gibbs said in a statement. "The president will continue to press Congress to pass this bill and bring this relief that's critical to our economic recovery."

The demise of the bill means that unemployment benefits will phase out for more than 200,000 people a week. Governors who had been counting on federal aid will now have to consider a fresh round of budget cuts, tax hikes and layoffs of state workers.

"This is a bill that would remedy serious challenges that American families face as a result of this Great Recession," said Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., the chief author of the bill. "This is a bill that works to build a stronger economy. This is a bill to put Americans back to work."

The bill had been sharply pared back after weeks of negotiations with GOP moderates Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine. The most recent version, unveiled Wednesday night, contained new cuts to food stamps and scaled back the state aid provision to allow Democrats to claim the measure was fully paid for except for the unemployment insurance extension.

That didn't move Republicans like Minority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky.

"It adds new taxes and over $30 billion to an already staggering $13 trillion dollar national debt," said McConnell.

Only one Democrat, Ben Nelson of Nebraska, voted with Republicans. Another, Robert Byrd of West Virginia, did not vote.
This is one of those moments. The moments I say ffffffffffffffffffff because I can't complete the sound to say fuck. It's all only the f sound.

Not only is there no more unemployment extensions for many, there's also no more added government jobs? Yes, burn it down. Burn this gay world down now please. Things keep getting better for recent grads.

Are they really trying to destroy the country so they can point and yell about how government doesn't work? I mean, that's what it looks like here. I can't really see it any other way at this point. Don't these Republicans know that you can't take everything away from people? If people are desperate and don't have anything to lose, that's when bad shit happens. It's a simple common sense fact to know, right?

It seems like the Republican party is conducting a gran experiment in seeking to answer the question "How much is it possible to fuck someone over and have them still blame themselves." These are the same people demanding answers from Obama as to where are the jobs. And yet they actively vote against jobs bill.

What fucking morons are the Republicans? I can fully expect the Democrats to fail in capitalizing on this Republican embarrassment. No wait. I'm not even going to hold my breath for Democrats to actually try to capitalize on this because they wont.

If this keeps up we will hopefully see the Senate lined up and executed by the People's Army. The whole idea is stupid. When you give the unemployed money you guarantee that they aren't going to save it. They aren't going to put it under their mattress.

It's a perfect way to stimulate the economy because these people will be spending their money in the economy on food and services. They are constantly moving that money. With that option gone you pretty much have made it impossible for them to pay the mortgage causing a foreclosure and starting a domino effect of shit.

Fuck it. I mean, let's just wrap it up. Look at what we have going for ourselves;

- A worthless president who killed any and all hope he inspired in an entire generation.
- Every state bankrupt
- Entire financial system is a shame and exists only to finish sucking dry whatever money you have left.
- A giant oil gusher down south that will not be stopped
- Rich people buying laws to fuck you personally and not even being discrete about it anymore.
- Zero fuckin' infrastructure
- A military force that can't even defeat some guys living in caves after 10 years.
- Health-care that is a distant dream for some and a nightmare for most everyone else
- The inability to afford to pay unemployment benefits anymore, despite it being paid into for years and years and years by everyone.

Fuck it, we're done and if you don't believe me just realize that there are 5 people looking for work for each job opening.

I've followed this for some time and with vested interest since I know a lot of people who depend on their extended unemployment to keep them going. They're basically held hostage by this with zero money even though the budget for 2011 already accounted for an extension of EUC through the entire year.

The essentially did the same shit in April. It takes some serious balls and lack of morals and a really damn ignorant public to actually filibuster the bill that millions of Americans are literally depending on to survive and not be on the receiving end of a pitchfork-wielding mob.

Then again, any American who is not directly affected by this will probably never know it happened. The complacency in our society is probably at its peak and is by design. In short, we couldn't give a fuck about what the guy next to us has to deal with.

So how out of touch are the Senators? Here, read some quotes from them and find out;
Republican Sharron Angle, running for Senate in Nevada: "[W]e have put in so much entitlement into our government that we
really have spoiled our citizenry and said, you don't want the jobs that are available."
Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Arizona): "[C]ontinuing to pay people unemployment compensation is a disincentive for them to seek new work."
Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa): "We shouldn't turn the safety net into a hammock. It should actually be a safety net."
Rep. Dan Heller (R-Nevada): "Is the government now creating hobos?"
Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah): "You know, we should not be giving cash to people who basically are just going to blow it on drugs."
Republican Sharron Angle, running for Senate in Nevada: "[W]e have put in so much entitlement into our government that we
really have spoiled our citizenry and said, you don't want the jobs that are available."

fffffffffffff... It just seems so silly that they're not even hiding it anymore. They are trying to sabotage the economic recovery so that they can blame it on Obama in November.

At this point I just wonder if it's possible that at this point, your republicans are openly holding your country hostage and demanding that you put them into power before they stop destroying it. Or maybe they'll just keep burning it to the ground when they get into power again anyway. I mean, look at Reagan.

Even worse is that they will use the less people filing for unemployment as a sign, some indication that the jobs market has improved and there's some how more jobs out there and the economy is finally getting better. Only, it just means that more people have just been pushed out of the system altogether.

Let's just face it.. we're fucked. Simple as that.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Entourage - The Male Sex And The City

Entourage - The Male Sex And The City

Well, it's time for the male version of Sex and the city to return back to television. Gather the bros around cause the crew is back for another season and from what I hear, this is the last full season that it will be on. It's your average guy's fantasy to be the super star actor who gets all the ladies and have a group of guys that hangs around you.

Here is some quick info on the season stolen from Wikipedia.
On July 30, 2009, HBO renewed Entourage for a seventh season which is set to premiere June 27, 2010. The storyline will feature Vince starring in an apocalyptic drama and among the celebrities appearing will be John Stamos, Mike Tyson, Bob Saget, Stan Lee, Aaron Sorkin and Jessica Simpson. Dania Ramirez announced on her Twitter page that she'll be joining the cast. Autumn Reeser will return to her role as junior agent Lizzie Grant. Porn actress Sasha Grey will also be joining the cast for a multi-episode arc, starring as herself in the role of Vince's new girlfriend. On June 6, 2010, HBO revealed that the storyline would include an accident during the filming of Vince's latest film, that gives him a new lease on life.Both Carla Gugino and Rhys Coiro will be reprising their roles as Amanda Daniels and Billy Walsh respectively.
Let's face it. The show isn't the greatest on TV, but at least it's entertaining. In that sort of picking up an issue of maxim and reading the stupid articles that are geared towards men and then every few pages is some half naked bikini wearing chick to just fill the quota of patriarchy

I mean, just look at the description again. Sasha Fucking Grey is Fucking Vince Fucking Chase. What the hell? What's so special about that? I've seen her get plowed by, like, 30 guys in one video and by the end she could barely open her mouth. So what makes this so special? Well, it doesn't. She's been trying to bridge the gap between porn and legit action for some time. It's just going to be kind of hard to take seriously someone whom is known famously for getting Eiffel towered, go ass to mouth and get completely plastered with ejaculation.

And even though it may seem like a story book ending in that this is the best chance to be a legit breakout star between porn and movies/tv, it's really nothing more than appealing to the core audience of who typically watches this show. I keep hearing people go on and on about how in interviews she goes in depth about her working philosophy and the way she approaches art. As if she's some smart arty chick that just so happened to use porn as her "in" to show business.

I hardly classify Cumfart Cocktails 5 as a modern day classic or by any means near "Artsy". It's actually going to be odd to see Vinnie Chase kiss a girl that is known for taking it in the pooper and then going for a blow job. Once you've seen these things... well, they sort of get branded into your mind like 1 guy 1 cup.

Not to mention that she was pretty terrible in The Girlfriend Experience. But hey, maybe playing herself will improve her acting. Okay, no. her very blank and withdrawn acting in that has to be due to years in the porn industry. That sort of acting will crush a spirit. It will drain you of all enjoyment of life and it will make you a husk of a human being.

In fact, this whole Sasha Grey's "I suck shit-coated cocks as part of my art" bullshit is a useful litmus test for finding out with porn watchers men are complete fucking morons. Let's call a spade a spade. She's on the show because the bro's love Entourage, bros love porn and she'll probably get naked without having it be at all awkward for her or the crew.. not only that, it's less work then actual porn and she has to be pretty good at faking it by now. Taking on a train of guys will do that to your soul.

If there was a character I'd want to fuck off it's E. Jesus christ, the guy is boring. The show last season needed more Vince, less E. Nobody likes E. Hell, E doesn't even like being E. The only redeeming quality of Eric is that he's connected to Sloan who plays a great characters as a behind-the-scenes controller and socialite who has a ton of pull in things. Also, she's hot.

He's flat and emotionless. Such the perfect opposite for Sloan in a sense. But still, he's the most boring character and the worst actor in the show. Now the best actor on the show is Bob Saget. I met the fella some time ago and he told me that he's back for a couple of episodes this season. Now that's something I love. He just acts like himself and it works so well;
"What if I kill? What if I kill somebody late at night? and I call you up and say 'hey 24/7 guy! I'm fucked! I just killed some guy at some crack den in the hood. Will you come down in your silver 750 and help me chop him up and dispose of it and take me home and bathe me then tuck me in?' Will you do all that for me Scotty? because I will do that for me! and keep 10% of the money that I make"
What the show needs is to get rid of E and replace him with Bob Saget. It's almost a shame that the show has limited time on the air. Marky Mark seems to be tired of bragging about his life style, as it seems. He said that in 2011 they'll air six episodes and a two parter/possibly movie after that and that will be it.

So enjoy it while you can you Entourage fans. I really don't expect this to get Sex And The City sort of movie deals. Besides, would you really want that shit to begin with? Ugh.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

June 26, 2010 - Doctor Who

June 26, 2010 - Doctor Who

Last Saturday I bet you were wondering why it couldn't be this Saturday soon enough. Well, I'll tell you - Because that would be two points in time that aren't suppose to touch! Do you want the universe to not have begun? Huh?! Well today is the day.. It's the day that the Tardis blows up everything in existence.

You see, there are cracks in the fabric of the universe.

Thanks a lot, Doctor Who! You and your silly Tardis just caused the end of existence! Wait, when you think about it.... it's far more fucked up than you think. The Doctor lets his wife/girlfriend/Rani/Sweetie/whatever take his vehicle out for a spin, and not only does she end up totaling it, she blows up the fucking universe too!

Women drives! I tell you.

I love the call back to the Van Gogh episode and it explains where he is driven mad near the end by visions of his friends blowing up. That is just what a depressive personality needs, constant horrific nightmares of the end of existence for real. The universe was sort of a dick to that guy when you think about it.

That cliff hanger was brutal to everyone involved. The Doctor laying it on Amy about her life.
"Does it ever bother you, Amy? That your life makes no sense?"
When he points out little things like Amy living in that huge house all by herself in only one room it kind of hits home just how bizarre she and her life actually is. I'm anticipating and dreading today's episode. Sure, we get our resolution - but we'll have to wait months for any new Doctor Who goodness.

I mean, how the hell are they going to get Amy back? Worse is how she got nailed by the realization that she forgot her boyfriend who died and here he is again... only oh yeah, he's actually a killer robot and not your dead boyfriend.... and he just killed you. Hope you had a good day!

And just to cut the speculation of Karen and Matt dating, I'm pretty sure Matt Smith is banging Gavin Rossdale's daughter, not Karen. So this means it's good news for for all of us devoted Karen fans who have a crush on her to reassert our confidence that they still have a snow balls chance in hell with Karen Gillan. The answer is.. we all don't.

Now you'll call me crazy but this following speculation and theory as to what is going on makes a whole lot more sense than I'd like to believe. It's my current favorite theory to why Amy's life makes no sense.

gallifreybase wrote down:

In the prelude special to TEH on BBC America, Moffat goes out of his way to remind us:

The TARDIS is a living being, referred to as "she".
Anything is possible with the TARDIS.
The TARDIS is the one true love of the Doctor's life, his most faithful companion.
The pictures/models in Amy's room are: Amelia, the Doctor and the TARDIS.
(And if you look at the close-ups of her room in TPO, the TARDIS is most emphasized.)
The paint in Amelia/Amy's room is referred to in Confidential as "TARDIS blue".
The Doctor refers to Amy as the "mad, impossible Amy Pond."
Amy's house is "too big", according to the Doctor. Since, TEH, I've always thought it looked bigger on the inside.
Amy's house door looks just like Craig's upstairs "TARDIS" door, except the colors are inverted.
Their stairways, Amy's second flight of stairs up and Craig's stairs up are suspiciously similar.
Time works very strangely around Amy. If you watch TEH again, only paying attention to the clocks and watches in it, you'll see what I mean. From Big Ben, to Amelia's kitchen, Amy's watch an instant later to the clock by the duckless Duck Pond, time is completely inconsistent throughout the episode. Time acts bizarrely around Amy in other episodes, too.
Listen again to the last scene in The Beast Below.
Amy says she understands how Bracewell feels. Why?
Amy knows things about the Doctor she shouldn't be able to know. For example, how does she know the Doctor doesn't usually allow anyone to salute him? Nothing in the series episodes or novelizations gives her that knowledge, at least not yet.
Amy says to the Doctor, standing in the TARDIS, "There's a whole world in here, just like you said." (Anagram Ledworth = the world)
Listen to the scene again in Amy's Choice, when the Dream Lord talks with Amy alone. "He always leaves you alone in the dark." "He'll never apologize."
Vincent says, "half human" and the camera focuses right on Amy.
The "TARDIS" at the top of Craig's imaginary stairs needs a "pilot". The concept art drawing from River's diary shows, "Amy Pond, TARDIS 'Pilot' " (quotes around pilot are on the page).

Care to check out more of this sketch stuff? Click here

[There are several other clues from the novelizations, but in case people haven't read them yet, I've decided not to include them on this list.]

The chameleon arch technology which made the Doctor human in Human Nature is part of the TARDIS. Why wouldn't she be capable of doing the same to herself? Especially considering the damage done to that part of the old TARDIS at the end of EOT/beginning of TEH. It may not have been intentional.

Or like the young boy in The Empty Child, Amelia was a real little human girl who's house caught on fire when the burning TARDIS landed there. (She's got drawings of her house on fire.) I prefer the chameleon arch, but we know Moffat wrote the TEC.

Did you notice that when Amy died, the TARDIS with River cracked and the universe exploded?

and last but not least, from the Doctor himself:

"What if time could run out?"
"Amy's time." (Amy is time.)

So, yes, my favorite theory for this series, which doesn't actually mean I think it's right, is that Amy herself is an aspect of the living being at the heart of the TARDIS.

I might be proven 100% wrong, but I'll still like the theory.

Oh ... one more thing. Look again at the very first glance we were given of Amy Pond

disguised as a police officer

Hmmm, blue and white checkered with a Police logo.. sounds familiar. Then you have the Doctor - Who is stuck in a Pandora's box sort of deal now. Kept forever alive and stuck in there away from his exploding box just to ensure that humanity survives.

It seemed to be a running theme through New Doctor Who. The Doctor has been played up as being a being of vast power and magnificence: the lonely God, the Oncoming storm, etc. We even see this in how enemies that may stand against him run in the abject fear after realizing who he really is and what he's capable of, just like in The Eleventh Hour.

It really does seem that the legend of the Doctor recites, "A nameless, terrible thing; soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies" could very ell fit The Doctor from the point of view of his enemies who have lost so much in battles with him time and time again. They don't see him the way we do, as a hero. They see him as a terrible, destructive being who inspires the most abject fear and dread in them whenever he waltzes onto the scene.

Just look at him in a couple of episodes this season where he nearly, if not specifically chooses humans over other species to save because of a crack in the universe we are lead to believe is his doing. Can't say his reputation isn't being known for being a complete bad ass.

I would be sort of sad if The Doctor Who season finale doesn't bring up or answer the whole no ducks in the duck pond question. I mean, Ducks again in his rambling speech in Flesh and Stone. If 'Duck Pond' is so he'll tell miss Pond to duck, why bother bringing it up again? There has to be something more to it, right?

Then if you think about it, the night that the Doctor first brought Amy into the Tardis is the same night Amy came on to the Doctor, and the same night River found landing marks on the house ransacked... Now that's one busy evening.

Then there's this Image of the Day.. you know, if this day was June 4th..

"A cosmic snake appears to slither across the plane of our Milky Way galaxy in this image from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope. The snake-like object located about 11,000 light-years away in the constellation Sagittarius is actually the core of a thick, sooty cloud large enough to swallow dozens of solar systems and may be harboring beastly stars in the process of forming.

'The snake is an ideal place to hunt for massive forming stars as they have not had time to heat up and destroy the cloud they are born in,' said Dr. Sean Carey, of NASA's Spitzer Science Center..."
Oh the Doctor has his hands in everything. :p And with that, I do believe I will wrap it up and wait for the ending of this most wonderful season of Doctor Who.

Oh, did you want another picture of Karen? Why hey, I'm sure I could fulfill that request....

Friday, June 25, 2010

BP Cares... About Nothing

BP Cares... About Nothing

By now it should be noted that BP really doesn't give a shit about much. I mean, let's look at the following picture.

Now what sort of mind set must have been going through their heads?
"Hardhats or respirators, hmm give them hardhats!"
That kid does own though. I imagine his mother is saying something like:
"TOMMY! GET AWAY FROM THOSE... gentlemen!"

At least Tommy will get a chance to go to Disney. I'm sure he'll hear this at the park;
Welcome to Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom. Thanks for checking in. Please find your complimentary Mickey Mouse fun air circulation mask on top of the dresser. If you have trouble fitting the mask on, or you find yourself breathing unfiltered air, please do not hesitate to speak to one of our cast members.
Images like the one above don't make me happy. In fact, when I hear news stories like Alabama prison inmates to aid in relief efforts and hazardous waste operations it makes me feel like it's not great news because it dawns on you that BP isn't providing appropriate safety equipment like respirators that will prevent these prisoners from dying horribly from the VOCs

Then again, it's probably a better alternative than spending their lives in American prisons and at least they didn't use they didn't use live prisoners for the junk shot. Prison inmates are fucking disposable human beings to them. No wait, let me correct that. People are fucking disposable human beings to them. But hey, who else are they going to find to do the job for $4.80/hr?

I mean, I know 90% of all black people can't swim, but do they really need life jackets for oil clean up duty? That's racist BP! Life jackets and hard hats. You really have to be fucking kidding me, BP. God damn.

So what's so bad about the clean up? Remember, dispersant is usually sodium hydroxide based. You might know it as lye. It has a great side effect of turning fat (like the thing that fish and dolphins and all kinds of cute shit are made out of, into soap.

What about the real question.. Oilcanes. You know, since it is hurricane season and when hurricanes pass through the oil filled ocean, they will pick up the water. The best part of those will be that BP will successfully argue that they are not responsible for any of the inland disasters or cleanup as it was a natural disaster that they had no control over. Consequently, all the oil that was in the gulf will mysteriously also be missing from the gulf after hurricane season, therefore mission accomplished and this nightmare will finally be over. Anyone seeking claims from the devastating oilcane should contact their insurance companies for compensation as BP does not consider those to be valid claims.

Then, you know insurance companies won't honor any claims because people didn't have the foresight to buy oil insurance. Can someone call an insurance company and ask for oilcane insurance? Maybe see if the fees are lower if you only cover non-flaming oilcanes. I hope that dispersant can't mix with water well or it'll make a toxic organ-failure inducing death rain. I guess the worse part is that the 2010 deepwater spill hasn't even had 1% of its bioimpact yet.

You thought birth defect rates in south east Asia were bad, wait till you see what comes out of Louisiana and Alabama around, oh, 2050 or so. Dispersant is suppose to mix with both water and oil. It is a surfactant. Pray to your blood gods that its nastiest components degrade quickly. This is the least dangerous part of the dispersant that might lifted onto land.

I literally would prefer sodium hydroxide to pepper the entire south than the contents of that hurricane of black death. It's as if I asked you to please lick a shrek cup. Thousands of children have already done me the favor of doing that. Though McDonalds isn't dealing with mass graves.

So a good question would be how much has Exxon paid for the damages they have done. This is a sad reminder, but in 1994 Exxon was ordered to pay a $5 billion punitive damage judgment for being grossly negligent fucks, in addition to all the other crap. This was tied up in litigation until 2008 when the supreme court said "lol just kidding" and cut it to $500 million. Just as a side note, Exxon makes $500 million in sales every 12 hours.

It really is almost comedic at just how perfectly wrong all this is going. Where was anyone with any sense as to the worse case scenario? Surely there must be someone with expertise to have had planned for a situation like this. Okay, so nobody knows what to do. This has literally never happened before and no one has ever run the numbers to figure out what would happen in a situation like this because the government never required them to because, hey it's the free market!

Did you ever have a teacher that was so incompetent and apathetic about her job that she never actually read anyone's homework, she just checked that you turned in a sheet of paper with writing on it so you could just use the homework from another class or even an already turned in assignment from the previous day without her noticing or caring? Well that's every regulatory agency in America.

Now imagine you're also having sex with this teacher....

All I'm saying is after 9/11, Bush was able to drum up public support to start two wars, so surely Obama will leverage the oil spill to start a huge alternative-energy initiatitivhahahhhahahahaha ah. Oh man. I completely overwhelmed myself with laughter there. Hmm, How long until the well runs dry and Obama can give a speech about how it's "important to move on" and "not point fingers"? God damn, Obama really has been useless in the grand scheme of his presidency on any real issue.

Oh. Oh... what's this?


Oh man. I've been waiting for this. It's like Christmas and Santa's going to take a shit on everything possible!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Porn Star - Speak HARD and Carry a Big Sword

Porn Star - Speak HARD and Carry a Big Sword

While this may be a week late, I do believe this is one of the most interesting, if not strangest news stories that could only come out of Hollyweird. In short: Gay porn star kills random Asian porn star with a God Damn Samurai Sword:
Authorities said Hill, whose professional name is Steve Driver, attacked a colleague with a sword that was used as a film prop. The rampage occurred during a social gathering at Ultima's studios about a week after being told he was being fired and that he would have to move out of the production facility, where he had been living, authorities said.

He then turned on two others who rushed to their co-worker's defense. One of those who attempted to help, Herbert Hin Wong, 30, was killed in the attack.

I guess the question remains is if he had a happy ending... Nope!

LOS ANGELES – Surrounded by a SWAT team on a rocky cliff, a porn actor suspected of killing a colleague last week moved to the edge of the outcropping and fell some 40 feet to his death, ending a dramatic, daylong standoff with police outside Los Angeles.

Video of the apparent suicide captured by news cameras Saturday shows Stephen Clancy Hill in Chatsworth, talking to police negotiators, with a crowd of media watching. Hill tumbled down the hillside after scooting to the ledge from a seated position.

Police said Hill had repeatedly threatened suicide in the hours leading up to the fall, which came a day after murder and attempted murder charges had been filed against 34-year-old porn actor.

"He was bent on taking his own life," Deputy Chief Kirk Albanese said. "It's very unfortunate. We wanted this to end a different way."

I'm not even sure where to start with this news story. I mean.. it had it all. Action, suspense. A crazy mother fucker with a samurai sword killing some other dude and then dying in a cliff dive

I mean, if you were expecting a female porn star from the title, which most people do think of when they hear the word porn star, then I'm sure you're a little let down by how the story actually went. But still, he used a film prop to kill someone else!

Not as awesome as I thought, as I was expecting a female porn star too.. Not a goon either, the article says that it was used as a film prop during a "social gathering". He also lived at the dvd production facility. OK, maybe that's only one notch below living in his mom's basement, but either way he doesn't look like a strange one

How long until there's a porn movie based on this? I mean, how obsurd is this shit? Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that? Even to add some more strange shit to the mix, the death was recorded! Click this link to see a porn star um.. get a "happy" ending?

If you watch the video, it appears he's in the process of pushing himself off the ledge. One of the cops then tasers him, he turns back to look at them, because jesus, they just tasered him - and then he finishes pushing himself off the cliff only to find that there's nothing for his foot to land on.

He doesn't look like he loses control of his body or anything. It looks like the tasering was an attempt to immobilize him to possibly prevent him from jumping off. Why they would shoot bean bags at him though, now that's just silly. But hey - rather change of pace for him to take a shot to the face. Don't worry though, I'm sure the autopsy should reveal the cause of death if anyone is on the fence as to what it is. I'm guessing that it was 90% gravity that did him in.

And since we live in a world of social media, here's his Myspace page. Who the fuck still uses Myspace? I mean, that was so 9 months ago. Now I've looked at his myspace and the video of him falling off the cliff and I find myself feeling sad for the death of a pornstar. How do you explain that feeling to anyone? It's almost as if they were people or something...

But really, I feel bad for the dude he killed. You can google the "Ultima entertainment" website where they have a tribute up. Dude loved his cats. Besides that, he was an Asian male porn star. They're like an endangered species in the US.

So to you, crazy ass sword killing porn star who fell off a cliff, you are one strange motherfucker

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Unemployed Will Not Be Considered

The Unemployed Need Not Apply

Yes, that's right. It's a strange job market out there. Not only are people getting laid off like crazy and the creation of new jobs isn't exactly on the right track, a new trend reported by the Huffington Post: there's a "Disturbing Job Ads: 'The Unemployed Will Not Be Considered'" Yes, that's right.. don't got a job? Well then, don't apply for this job. Thanks in advance.
Still waiting for a response to the 300 resumés you sent out last month? Bad news: Some companies are ignoring all unemployed applicants.

In a current job posting on The People Place, a job recruiting website for the telecommunications, aerospace/defense and engineering industries, an anonymous electronics company in Angleton, Texas, advertises for a "Quality Engineer." Qualifications for the job are the usual: computer skills, oral and written communication skills, light to moderate lifting. But red print at the bottom of the ad says, "Client will not consider/review anyone NOT currently employed regardless of the reason."

In a nearly identical job posting for the same position on the Benchmark Electronics website, the red print is missing. But a human resources representative for the company confirmed to HuffPost that the The People Place ad accurately reflects the company's recruitment policies.

"It's our preference that they currently be employed," he said. "We typically go after people that are happy where they are and then tell them about the opportunities here. We do get a lot of applications blindly from people who are currently unemployed -- with the economy being what it is, we've had a lot of people contact us that don't have the skill sets we want, so we try to minimize the amount of time we spent on that and try to rifle-shoot the folks we're interested in."

There are about 5.5 people looking for work for every job available, according to the latest data from the Labor Department.

Sony Ericsson, a global phone manufacturer that recently announced that it would be bringing 180 new jobs to the Buckhead, Ga. area, also recently posted an ad for a marketing position on The People Place. The add specified: "NO UNEMPLOYED CANDIDATES WILL BE CONSIDERED AT ALL." When asked about the ad, a spokeswoman said, "This was a mistake, and once it was noticed it was removed."

Ads asking the unemployed not to apply are easy to find. A Craigslist ad for assistant restaurant managers in Edgewater, N.J. specifies, "Must be currently employed." Another job posting for a tax manager at an unnamed "top 25 CPA firm" in New York City contains the same line in all caps.
Story continues below

A company's choice to ignore unemployed applicants and recycle the current workforce ignores the effect of the recession on millions of highly-qualified workers and could prolong the unemployment crisis, said Judy Conti, federal advocacy coordinator for the National Employment Law Project.

"In the current economy, where millions of people have lost their jobs through absolutely no fault of their own, I find it beyond unconscionable that any employer would not consider unemployed workers for current job openings," she said. "Not only are these employers short-sighted in their search for the best qualified workers, but they are clearly not good corporate citizens of the communities in which they work. Increasingly, politicians and policy makers are trying to blame the unemployed for their condition, and to see this shameful propaganda trickle down to hiring decisions is truly sad and despicable."

There is no law prohibiting discrimination against the unemployed, though advocates said the practice could be illegal if it had a "disparate impact" on minority groups.

Congressman John Dingell (D-Mich.), whose home state of Michigan has a 14 percent unemployment rate, was particularly disappointed to hear about the ads.

"While I appreciate that many employers are facing unprecedented competition for job openings, to close the door on such a large population of potential employees is shortsighted," he said. "Being unemployed is not a choice many workers choose to make. I would hope that companies that are discriminating against the unemployed will take into consideration that this choice is only further contributing to long-term unemployment in our country."

Ha ha ha ha ha. WHAT.THE.FUCK? This is just comically tragic. Oh man, you unemployed people.. you just got OWNED! For all you people who are coming out of school and graduating, good fucking luck. Just join the peace corps until this whole economic crisis blows over or America collapses. Which ever comes first. I know which one I have my money on..

But this course of thinking in employee selection makes perfect sense, don't you think? Why would you want a person who has clearly seen through the bullshit of corporate America in your company? Or maybe it's just that desperation has a distracting musky scent that cuts down productivity by 30%.

I think I see where this chain of logic is coming from. If you were laid off, you obviously were useless to begin with, why would you want to hire someone useless? Bootstraps, bitches. Maybe if they had gotten A JOB, they wouldn't be in the situation of looking for a job. Those lazy, selfish fucks wouldn't be looking for one! This is a clear example of Reagonomics at its finest.

But from a loyalty standpoint, why would you self-select to only get people willing to fuck their current employer? Especially in this economic situation were it's clear they obviously made sacrifices and decisions to keep them at job A. Oh right, that's because sociopathy is proportional to capitalist business acumen, tch! Silly me.

But just think about it. They think that if you're unemployed, it's probably for a reason and they only want unhappy workers from other company because then.. maybe they could be unhappy in this new job? I don't know. It sure as hell is not a measure to fill your company with productive team members if they're going to be so fickle at their previous job.

In truth, most companies practice this anyway. They just aren't dumb enough to put it on the job description. Even back when the economy was good. Almost every place I had worked at did this. If they see a long gap between your last employment you can pretty much assume that the employers were looking at you with one raised eye brow wondering what exactly it was that prevented you from getting a new job. As if you were filled with some sort of sickness.

So this brings up a good question - How do you get back into the work world after a long gap in employment? You want the truth - Lie! Lie your heart out. Lie to the fucking cows come home. Then when they do, lie that they still haven't shown up.

If you get fired and find yourself lucky enough with an interview, tell them that you were fired for developing a way to save the company money, but it wasn't policy so they were forced to fire you. This will make you look like an innovative and highly sought after commodity that just didn't fit in with wherever you were previously.

If that doesn't work you can always lie out of your fucking ass about your status and wher eyou live. Relocation is a great excuse to having to lose a job and chances are HR isn't going to call out of the area code to look up your references. That's another thing. Don't have references or a credible back ground? Lie about it!

You can most likely make up the fact that you earned such and such degree on a resume. The best resume lie I ever told was that I had experience installing blowout preventers on deep sea oil rigs. Oooh yeah, Mr. Cool right here.

You know what always works? "My weakness? I'd say I just tend to work too hard!" Oh yes. That right there is gold. Any of these following statements will do nicely in that situation;
"I care too much about getting it right the first time"
"I'm a workaholic"
"I don't know when to stop"
"I find it difficult to form relationships outside of the office as it is my life"
"I will kill for the company. No one will ever know."

Okay, maybe that last one is a bit much, but you get the idea. You need to sell yourself to the company. So start selling! And if you don't want to lie, you do know that you can always get a business license, establish an S-corp, and be a 'consultant' even if it's just bullshit advice to friends and family. Then again, HR still doesn't look kindly on self-employment because to them it's practically unemployment. But still, you're technically employed so they can't get you on that one.

HR departments are really bad about checking previous employers though. So really, just make shit up. Maybe one or two catch you, but sooner or later you slip past their nets and have yourself a couple of paychecks.

I mean it. If you want a job, lie about your past and if you get fired say you were let go with a group of other people, aka Laid off. Insert a fake company somewhere and have a friend who sounds good on the phone take the call /act as your old manager from a respectable company. Especially corporations. Fuck them! Lie through your teeth to them. I guess it's not as good to small businesses. If you work hard and are smart they'd want you anyway and not be retarded in pushing away those who have been unemployed for a while.

While you're at it, you can always lie about diplomas as well. When I was a lot younger it got me into some serious companies. When I did jury duty a while back the defendant had invented a school, going so far as to create a really bad website for it. Somehow he even got an .edu domain for one of them. The only way they figured this shit out was investigators went to its physical address in person.

He got hired by the county as a hydrology engineer. He worked there for something like a year and a half before he got into trouble. Best part was that it wasn't even for not being able to do his job. He had a good performance reviews and his supervisor said in court that he had done very well in his job.

Then there's that situation where a self taught via flight simulators pilot got a job and spent close to a decade flying planes back and forth with fake credentials before they caught him and you know what they did? Suspended him from flying commercial air planes for 12 months only.

You tell me if lying on your resume isn't looking more and more attractive by the day.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Osama Sighed As He Drew His Katana...

Osama Sighed As He Drew His Katana...

You take a dash of Jack Bauer and add in a cup of Book of Eli. Whisk and toss in Some Kung Fu: The Legend Continues and you have a taste of what this next story is about. You see, there's no other way to describe the following news piece other than that. For you see, anArmed US 'Bin Laden hunter' is held in Pakistan
An American man who claimed to have been on a mission to hunt down Osama Bin Laden has been arrested in northern Pakistan, police say.

They said that 52-year-old Gary Brooks Faulkner, from California, was detained in the mountains of Chitral district - just north of Peshawar.

He had a pistol, dagger and a sword and was carrying Christian literature.

Police say the man was stopped near the border with Afghanistan's Nuristan province, a known Taliban stronghold.

They say that Mr Faulkner told investigators after his arrest late on Sunday that he was on a solo mission to kill Osama Bin Laden.

"We initially laughed when he told us that he wanted to kill Osama Bin Laden," police spokesman Mumtaz Ahmad Khan told the AP news agency.

But he said that police suspicions grew when officers seized the pistol, the sword and night-vision equipment.

Mr Faulkner is now being questioned by intelligence officials in Peshawar, the main city in north-western Pakistan.

He has told police he visited Pakistan seven times, and this was his third trip to Chitral.

Police say that Mr Faulkner was also carrying a book containing Christian verses and teachings.

When asked if he felt that he had a chance of tracing Bin Laden, Faulkner replied, "God is with me, and I am confident I will be successful in killing him", Mr Khan told AP.

The US embassy in Pakistan confirmed that a US citizen had been arrested and the embassy was seeking access to him.

Correspondents say that the Chitral area is widely seen as having escaped much of the violence that has blighted the rest of north-west Pakistan.

In April a Greek man who worked in one of the few museums in the area was released by the Taliban after being held by them for eight months.

Bin Laden has evaded a huge US effort to capture him since the 9/11 attacks in the US.

Chitral - because of its close proximity to Nuristan - is considered to be one of his possible hiding places.
Look, if hunting someone with a pistol and a Katana is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Bless this white Christian warrior, perhaps if there were more folks like him in the world we wouldn't be living in the shadow of Muslim oppression

This dude is way off target though. Osama is in a secret bunker lounging with his feet up on a foot rest under 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington D.C., USA. Or maybe he's in some nondescript building on the naval observatory grounds. Or, you know.. Osama Bin Laden has been dead for years.

I liked this part of the article
"At first we thought he was mentally deranged".... "Then we found out he was American"
Americans are human cartoons. This should be the final proof that Americans watch too much violent TV and senseless action films. Okay, maybe I'm wrong there. American TV compared to some other countries like Russia isn't so much 'Violent' as much as it is fascist will-to-power nonsense.

But maybe this guy has a good goal. Just think about it, the only guy looking for Bin Laden foiled. They really should have sent him on his way, maybe given him some body armor for his trouble and wished him the best of luck. You know he's going to need it. He's doing more with his life than any of us. He has a quest! By mocking this christian soldier it only proves how hollow my own life is.

The sword is the best thing about this. What kind of fucking idiot believe he can take down Osama with anything less than Hanzo steel? Fucking idiot Americans. How do I know it wasn't a Hanzo steel? He would never have been taken into custody if it had been...

They should release him and let him continue the hunt with the addition of a cameraman and make it into a summer reality TV show. They should also pitch it to Al-Jazeera with a laugh track. It'll do great in all markets. Think of the DVD sales! All this guy needs is a bullwhip and a sidekick and he'd be his own Hollywood blockbuster.

I do hope they'll release him. It will be nice to see some worthless American scum get their head chopped off on Youtube. It's been so long....

Please, PLEASE say it was this guy;

I know, I know. This is all a little mean. Let's all make fun of the mentally ill, why not. But think of it this way - A mentally ill man has resources to pursue his fantasies, is stopped from removing his genes from the pool. It's pretty clear what we have here - Afghani nanny state.

Considering the best intelligence agencies in the world operating with seemingly limitless funding and all the top notch technology there is can't find him, why the hell not just let this guy go make a fool out of himself? I think they were scared he might actually succeed where America has failed. We all know that America needs its dialysis machine boogey man to continue this war, it's not like we found gold in them there hills.. Oh wait.

But this act of courage by the mentally unstable isn't all that strange. American filibusters have been adventuring in the third world since the birth of the nation. I guess I'm just surprised there's any left now to do this. You know, given the general wealth, ability to travel, and access to firearms the modern American has should be infrequent. They just join the Army/XE/Blackwater instead now and get to use better and cooler weapons.

Perhaps we should be reminded that Afghanistan literally offered Osama Bin Laden to us and we refused because we wanted him turned over unconditionally (the condition was we stop bombing their civilians once he was captured)

Oh, don't believe me? Need some evidence? Shut the fuck up.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Lakers Win The Stanley World Cup! Let's Throw A Parade!

Lakers Win The Stanley World Cup! Let's Throw A Parade!

In case you over slept and didn't notice that there was a parade today. Or if you didn't hear about it over the weekend or see any flags on cars.. or, you know, don't watch sports cause it's all a bunch of sweaty people tossing a pigskin around or something, The underdogs from Los Angeles took home the big prize last week.

Yes, we should celebrate the totally unpredictable win and praise Kobe (who didn't rape her, FYI) as the best NBA player ever.

Nooo, Lakers fans! You're directing your rage at the wrong people here with this burning of stuff in Downtown. I know it's a ghost town and all, but there's some nice bars here that I don't want to get trashed. Well, I guess you can burn down Seven Grand if there's enough USC Trojans in it, but it would still be a loss of a perfectly good bar.

But think about it, what a way to play into the idiotically constructed media narrative of post game riots. I know it's not just Lakers fans who do it. Every city during any sports event finals that happen have people who go out into the streets to celebrate by burning some shit up.

Then again, maybe it was overblown. Five guys throwing up signs and lighting small fires which were put out pretty quickly does not really make for a text book definition of a riot. But it does make you question the mentality of the human race. Hell yes! My team won! Time to get really drunk tonight on account of all my hard work. Go us, I really made it happen.. with Kobe's help of course. Woohoo!

I do wonder why you would really riot when the league is structured in a way that assures your city is one of the 4 lucky ones that get a championship at least once every 5 years. I mean, was it any surprise at all that the finals came down to Celtics and Lakers? The regular season is an after thought when you look at the end result being the same time and time again.

At least there's one unpredictable thing.. Ron Artest. Ron is fucking crazy.

Ron Artest was celebrating the big win during the post game interview and man oh man.. good times. "First, I wanna thank everyone in my hood." then he follows it up with "Screw Disneyland, I'm going to Compton"

But it wasn't everyone who was happy. There's always Doc Rivers and Bill Simmons who like to think that the Lakers didn't REALLY win because they had one of their guys out. And yet here's what Doc Rivers stated about losing Kendrick Perkins before Game 7:
“The starting lineup still hasn’t lost. They still haven’t had a chance to properly defend their title.”
In other news, Andrew Bynum was completely healthy and played a complete game at full power, right?

But anyhow, let's take a look at what the folks who are celebrating did...

NOTE: This raw and unedited video, obtained by the LAFD, contains senseless acts of vandalism, fire-setting and mature language

oh no, mature language! At least the Taxi cab owner is getting a big fat 10,000 check from AEG (Staple Center's owner) for the car. I'm sure he'll use that for season tickets to the Lakers next season when we go for a three peat! Woot woot!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Best Father's Day Gift Ever

The Best Father's Day Gift Ever

Today is Father's day. You know what that means? Daddy gets the big piece of chicken! But it also means that it's another excuse for gifts. In this corner we have some of the boldest and best gifts a father has every received and it's from none other than the worse presidents ever. You see, there's nothing better to give your father than the blood lust that he so direly wanted. Yes, it's right. Bush will put Sadam's Gun in his Library
A Treasured Bush Memento, Once the Property of a Foe, May Be Put on Display

Many American presidents have kept prized possessions within reach during their White House years. Franklin D. Roosevelt cherished a 19th century ship model of the U.S.S. Constitution. One of Dwight D. Eisenhower’s favorite gifts was an engraved Steuben glass bowl from his cabinet. And sitting on John F. Kennedy’s desk in the Oval Office was a paperweight made from a coconut shell he had carved with a distress message after his PT-109 was sunk during World War II.
Skip to next paragraph
Times Topics: George W. Bush Presidential Library

The objects have been bequeathed to the American public, accessible through a visit to each man’s presidential library and museum. And so when the library for George W. Bush opens in 2013 on the campus of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, visitors will most likely get to see one of his most treasured items: Saddam Hussein’s pistol.

The gun, a 9 millimeter Glock 18C, was found in the spider hole where the Iraqi leader was captured in December 2003 by Delta Force soldiers, four of whom later presented the pistol to Mr. Bush. Among the thousands of gifts Mr. Bush received as president, the gun became a favorite, a reminder of the pinnacle moment of the Iraq war, according to friends and long-time associates.

Before Mr. Bush left the White House in January, he made arrangements for the gun to be shipped to a national archives warehouse just 18 miles north of his new home in Dallas. His foundation said a final decision had not been made on including the gun in the presidential library. But his associates and visitors to the White House said Mr. Bush had told them of his intention to display it there.

For nearly five years, Mr. Bush kept the mounted, glass-encased pistol in the Oval Office or a study, showing it with pride, especially to military officials, they said. He also let visitors in on a secret: when the pistol was recovered, it was unloaded.

“We were getting ready to leave the Oval Office, and he told us, ‘Wait a minute, guys, I want to show you something,’ ” recalled Pete Hegseth, the chairman of Vets for Freedom, who described a July 2007 visit. “The president moved back into his private study and he came out with the gun, inside this glass case. He said, ‘The Delta guys pulled it off Saddam.’ He was very proud of it.”

Mr. Bush also showed Mr. Hegseth another item: a brick from the Iraq safe house where the Qaeda leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed by an American air strike in 2006.

The gun is among 40,000 artifacts and gifts the Bushes had collected, including the bullhorn Mr. Bush used to address rescue workers at ground zero and a special edition Cooperstown baseball bat signed by every living Hall of Famer.

Douglas Brinkley, an author and history professor at Rice University, said the pistol opened a psychological window into Mr. Bush’s view of his presidency.

“It represents this Texas notion of the white hats taking out the black hats and keeping the trophy,” Mr. Brinkley said. “It’s a True West magazine kind of pulp western mentality. For President Bush, this pistol represents his greatest moment of triumph, like the F.B.I. keeping Dillinger’s gun. He wants people generations from now to see the gun and say, ‘He got the bad guy.’ ”

Mr. Bush once said his favorite biography was of Sam Houston, the Texas hero who would have kept a gun from a vanquished enemy, Mr. Brinkley said. The fact that Mr. Hussein’s gun was unloaded was an amazing “irony,” he added.

Mark Langdale, the president of the George W. Bush Foundation, said the library would use items to highlight 25 of Mr. Bush’s presidential decisions. “The gun is an interesting artifact, and it tells you that the United States captured Saddam Hussein and disarmed him literally,” Mr. Langdale said. “How we fit that into the decision to go to war, we haven’t gotten to that point yet.”

One longtime friend of Mr. Bush, who like the others spoke on condition of anonymity, said the gun had become as important to Mr. Bush as the police shield given to him by Arlene Howard, the mother of a New York Port Authority officer, George Howard, who died on Sept. 11. He still keeps the shield with him, the friend said.

The George W. Bush Presidential Center will cost $200 million. More than $100 million has already been donated, according to several of Mr. Bush’s friends. The former president has raised much of the money, usually at small luncheons and dinners. Some donors have given as much as $5 million, the friends said.

“The president is working very hard, and the money is rolling in,” one friend said. “People love the man, they think he did a great job, and they know the library is very important to him.”

The odyssey of the gun began on Dec. 13, 2003, when Mr. Hussein was discovered in the 8-foot-deep hole on a farm near Tikrit. Delta Force soldiers did not see the gun at first, said Steve Russell, a retired Army lieutenant colonel who helped lead the mission and is now a Oklahoma state senator.

Mr. Russell said Mr. Hussein had been crouched on all fours, the gun on the floor. The soldiers kept the rare pistol, which can fire bullets automatically, with two AK-47s found in the farmhouse, he said.

In early 2004, one of the soldiers came up with the idea of presenting the gun to Mr. Bush. On March 1 that year, the Delta Force men surprised the president with the pistol at an Oval Office meeting.

“That was a great day,” Mr. Bush told the Pentagon Channel in December. “I’ve had a lot of beautiful days in office; some not so happy. But my best days have come when certain milestones have been reached, and I love to share those milestones and those days with the people who actually made them happen.”

When you think about it, it's a lot better than keeping his head on a pike or gift wrapping it for Bush Sr. Though I guess we are a tad more civilized than that. I also loved the missed (by Bush) irony of the gun being found unloaded. Kind of sums up this whole Iraq adventure pretty nicely... though we still don't have any sort of exit plan that will work.

This isn't uncommon. There's a story that Stalin kept Hitler's skull on his desk for years. I really hope that story is true. But this puts into perspective your own potential father's day gift. Is it as good as Bush Jr. to Bush Sr.'s gift? Can you really go up to your pops and say "Ah did it daddy, I got that sum'bitch"?

When you factor it into the equation, this is like the least wrong thing Bush ever did. And to think, America elected this man twice. I like to think that in some twisted and comical way that Bush's death will probably come from the accidental discharge of Saddam's gun.

Let's look at it this way. Why shouldn't this be in his library? It's not like he was going to put books in his library anyway. This isn't the strangest thing the guy has got collected. Bush has already collected heads.. So what's the difference with this?

Some of you may be thinking that this should be in a museum and not displayed as a war trophy. The revelation of the gun puts a new spin on things, that thing is awesome. You know, why did Saddam have a gun with a crusader on the handle? What was up with that? Then again, maybe He really did like his shiny guns.

Maybe he needs this gun in his library. It used to be that old Presidents never lost their secret service protection but then the republicans hated Clinton so much that they decided to limit the coverage to ten years post Presidency. Ha! It looks like that blew up in their faces. But you shouldn't get to gun happy about the news that Bush won't be protected very well, we now know for a fact that he's armed. But if it's put in a library he'll never know where to find it..

But again, no books in that library. I bet it will be filled with fooseball tables, ski ball and a bounce house. Add the trophies of his slain foes and you'll never get'em out of there. Just imagine what this thing has seen. Saddam could have got about 1,200 kurds per minute with that thing. It's really a sad thing to see it caged up in a frame now. It should run free.. probably in some newly freed Iraqi's hands. Then again, it probably never saw the light of day.

So perhaps you should look at what you're giving your dad for D-day and just think about something else. There's no way you can top the gift the two Presidential dads have given each other.

Though if you can't find a dictator's gun collection, maybe you can settle for their art collection. Just look at the following images to get an idea of what to get your dad today so he could hang up at the office..

How about this one?

Hmmm, it would look terrible on that wall. Okay. Happy Father's Day!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Walking Dead Script Walk Through

Walking Through The Walking Dead Script

On Sunday was a sad night.. It was the season finale of Break Bad on AMC. Now what will I watch? Classic Movies from America? I think not! With one amazing drama ending and the long 8 month to a year wait till the next season. How the fuck do they expect us to go so long without something awesome on AMC to watch? Well, I guess there's Mad Men. That's great and all, but it doesn't have senseless violence with the main character's downward spiral.

Thank goodness we have something to look forward to come this October during Fright Fest.... The Walking Dead.

Yes, you've heard me talk about this before. It's a comic book.. being turned into a Television show. If there's any network that can do it justice, it's AMC. They showed a man get turned into liquid in an acid bath. A hallow point going through some cousins head and a science teacher make meth. They can do this one justice. Don't believe me? Look at this picture;

The show runner and director of the first episode is Frank Darabont. He's the guy who did THE MIST and he combined with AMC to get this comic book off the funny pages and turned into a live action TV show. For that, as well as his other work, I'm very pleased.

So let me introduce you to the characters. There's Rick Grimes (He's the main character) who is being played by Andrew Lincoln who is British which even though it sounds odd, let's face it, there's a lot of actors who have strange accents who do great American ones. So him playing a small town Kentucky Sheriff isn't to bad

Then we have Sarah Wayne Callies will play his wife Lori who was in the show Prison Break. So it's a little odd to see her go from one prison to yet another one. If the show goes according to the comics, should be an interesting turn of events.
According to Entertainment Weekly, the "Prison Break" actress has landed the leading female role of Lori Grimes, the wife of series protagonist and small town police officer Rick.

And then you have a series of other characters who... well, if it's anything like the comic book, let's just say that you really shouldn't get comfortable with them.

Now, I got a chance to read through the pilot script. I have to say that I loved it and it's not just because I'm a huge fan of the comic book series. It's very faithful to the comic book. You have to remember that Frank Darabont is directing it and Shawshank was probably the only Stephen King book that didn't get fucked up when translated to the big screen. If you want to avoid spoilers, then you should stop reading the blog right now and just scroll through the pretty pictures. But nothing I say will ruin anything if you've already read the first few issues of the comic.

The script starts off with Rick driving down a deserted highway. He stops at a gas station because a lot of cars are making it difficult to get past on the road. In the process he finds a little girl. Whoops, guess what, she's already a zombie. To cement it home that they're going to push limits in the series he shoots her. Then again, violence towards zombies has always been A-okay. He turns around to realize that the dead bodies sitting in those cars blocking the road were actually zombies. That gunshot alerted them and now Rick is stuck dealing with a zombie mob.

It cuts to a couple weeks ago. The same events as the comic happen. Rick and Shane have a shootout with some criminals. Rick gets shot and ends up in the hospital only to wake up weeks later in the hospital bed. What's powerful about the script is there's a lot of it that doesn't have any dialogue. Rick escaping the hospital and seeing all the dead bodies are all part of this. After realizing what has happened he comes across Morgan and Duane. A black man and his son hiding out from the zombies in his old neighborhood.

The three of them head over to the police station so Rick could suit up. He then parts ways with them as he's looking for his wife, Lori and son, Carl. All the while he's driving to Atlanta he keeps on trying the radio to see if Shane and his group can hear him.

It then cuts to a scene between Shane and a woman (who is clearly Lori but she's only identified as "Woman" in the script) who are now scene as a couple. We jump back to Rick and the events of the prologue with the dead girl, road block and zombie mob.

Rick escapes the zombie mob and makes his way to a farm where his car breaks down. He finds a horse in the barn and changes modes of transportation. Eventually making it to Atlanta and we get a shot of the city ruined to hell. They turn the corner on a street and are met by another swarm of zombies. You horse lovers are going to cry because the zombies get some fresh horse meat but Rick escapes under a tank. Zombies start to surround him and he's about to kill himself but then sees a hatch to get in.

Now Rick's just stuck in a tank while the zombies are still all around it with no hope in sight. Suddenly a voice comes over the radio in the tank. Someone somewhere spotted him getting in the tank. The script ends with the camera pulling out to a wide shot over the tank and we see it surrounded by hundreds of zombies clawing at it.

End of Episode one. If that doesn't get you hooked and shambling for more, I don't know what will.