Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Day That Oral Dies

The Day That Oral Dies

Today Oral Roberts died. He was 91. The first thought that comes to mind is that Oral is one fucked up name to give to your kid. So who was this jerk off?
Oral Roberts, the charismatic Pentecostal evangelist whose televised ministry attracted millions of followers worldwide and made him one of the most recognizable and controversial religious leaders of the 20th century, died Tuesday in Newport Beach, Calif. He was 91.

The cause was complications of pneumonia, said Melany Ethridge, a spokeswoman for Mr. Roberts.

At the height of his influence, Mr. Roberts sat at the head of a religious, educational and communications enterprise based in Tulsa, Okla., that managed a university, conducted healing “crusades” on five continents, preached the gospel on prime-time national television and published dozens of books and magazines.

So here's the highlight reel for this asshole on what he did:

*In 1977 Roberts claimed to have had a vision from a 900-foot-tall Jesus who told him to build City of Faith Medical and Research Center and the hospital would be a success.
*Pioneered televangelism and faith healing
*Claimed God would kill him if people did not donate $8 million. (He was successful).
*Claimed to raise people from the dead.

I guess it takes more than $8 million to stay alive. It's moments like this that I hope that hell wasn't just some fairy tale where I'll have a chance to meet Hendrix and was actually real so this asshole would go there and be tortured good and plenty.

It should be pointed out that he was nowhere near raising that $8 million from scamming little old ladies until there was a mysterious last minute donation that took him just over the top. But hey, Roberts founded his own university in 1963. What will you get out of going there? Well, for your tuition money will more than likely go towards Roberts and his wife's vacations, home remodels and other expensive shit. No really, not going to be spent on that at all.. oh wait, what did the associated press say?

But hey, for your money you can get a Doctorate in Theology. And you thought my college degree was worthless? HA! I guess the whole Doctorate in Theology can get you a higher level in how you go about scamming people out of their money. Considering the press release from his death it's showing that he's still finding a way to con people out of money.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the Oral Roberts Ministry Healing Missions Fund, as part of the ongoing goal of Oral Roberts Ministries to take the saving, healing, delivering message of the Gospel into all the world until Jesus returns. Gifts can be sent in care of Oral Roberts Ministries, P.O. 2187, Tulsa, Okla. 74102, or online at http://www.oralroberts.com.

Good riddance. That old con artist has been taking up the oxygen of people who actually deserved it. I think that I'll add his gravestone to the list of graves I need to piss on at some time before I die myself. Anyone who I pissed off in life enough that wants to urinate on my grave, go ahead. But I don't think ANYONE would blame me for pissing on this guys grave.

No comments: