Dexter's Back!

Dexter's Back!

So Dexter is back.. but I can't decide if the episode just wasn't made for me or if season 5 killed any interest I had for this show. I can't say I care about any of the plotlines that they started and the forecast for the future just seem like this season.. well, it'll be better than last season, because anything would be better than last season. But it just doesn't feel the same.

Last season was a pile a shit in which you could have watched the first four episodes of the season and then skipped to the season finale and feel not a single bit lost or as if you missed anything that couldn't have been covered in the "previously on dexter" segment.



Well, at the very least Dexter seems to be alright with killing this season. Nothing holding him back now. But that presents a slew of other problems. When is being too kill happy a bad thing? Well, let's start with the episode. Dexter basically lures two paramedics to call their death and no one seems to be concerned about this? Does 911 usually send two paramedics out to treat a stab wound by themselves. You know, when the person who did the stabbing could still be around?

I just don't know about the show anymore. The first season hit the fact that Dexter is smart and covers his tracks well enough to never be caught, as well as balancing out the melancholia and dark comedy aspect. It went from the story of a man trying to emulate normalcy and facing credible threats. Now it's just a sitcom starring a serial killer with Matsuka as the wacky neighbor and a ghost dad.



Because I'm almost 100% sure that I'm watching a comedy show whenever I turn on Dexter. There's no other way of explaining the sheer contempt the writers hold to their audience when it comes to delivering exposition only someone under sedation would possibly need.

"Oh, no. This giant man stepped on my lancet. That means no blood sample."

After the jock fist-bumps him, blowing his ring-poke: "Oh, guess I got a sample of my own blood."

It's a wonder Dexter can plan anything. What with his constant self-narration occupying every neuron in his brain. I guess I should be happy that they got rid of the Batista and Laguerta story line. That was utterly the worse piece of shit story line last season and they quickly wiped away the whole marriage in short time this season.

One thing about Dexter that always bothers me is that they just don't give a shit if you notice that it's shot in California with some b-roll footage or throw an establishing shot of Ocean Ave in South Beach but then you see him on MacArthur Causeway.

Though you probably could have guessed that it wasn't filmed in Florida because Dexter's high school reunion didn't have nearly enough Jewish kids or high-class Spanish people chilling there. Or maybe I just didn't notice because I was too annoyed at Ghost Dad just chillin' there. You know, just shootin' the shit and talkin' bout what evs.

The episode turned into some sort of fan fiction. Was it really necessary for the chick to thank Dexter for letting her suck his dick and then calling it "So good"? I mean, are you fucking serious? All because she cheated off his papers in high school? What fucking lonely nerd is writing this shit.

And why did she take off her top? I mean, I get why Showtime figured they could squeeze in some nudity because they're on showtime, but I'm not an expert in receiving blow jobs, but I'm pretty sure that it's not a given that you have to be topless to give one.

The whole scene just seemed like a random excuse for tits to be displayed.

They also go way overboard with the Ghost Dad bullshit. It's like he's actually a ghost there now. He gives Dexter all kinds of advice his brain shouldn't know and the worse was that thumbs up. Though maybe I should brace myself for not only one ghost father, but two. As it seems that Olmos didn't manipulate anything of consequence. I would feel a little bad if that ended up being a spoiler, but hey at least I can say I called it. Edward James Olmos being the new killer's ghost father would make it a similar situation.

Which leads to another problem. Which is one of the bigger problems with this show is the whole guest stars every season. It removed any sense of doubt as to how things were going to play out and who was going to be getting the needle by season's end. It's just a ton of awkward situations as to figuring out how to quickly write them off the show before the last episode.

I know the running joke is Miami Metro PD is the worst police dept and the writers of this show have evidently never seen an actual police procedural, but it's like Dexter isn't even trying to cover his tracks anymore.

*Steals girl's cellphone to set up murder of popular dude*
*Murders popular dude*
*Hammertime! This will never be traced back to me.*

It's distractingly bad and I'm usually very willing to do the whole suspended disbelief thing.

Which brings me to one of the final complaints I will state about the episode. The whole sudden appearance of Angel's estranged sister and her bizarre live-in babysitter/incest tension angle. The show is clearly suffering from the standard Showtime problem of painting anybody but the main character in really broad, almost comical strokes before tossing them aside to serve some asinine twist.

Because I'm not sure if it was obvious for everyone else, but I feel kind of dumb fore realizing this just now that Angel and his sister's religious upbringing is obviously telegraphing Angel's sister being a victim of Olmos' little murder cult thing. I guess I can only hope that it's even more cliche than I think it would be and by some strange coincidence ends up having Dexter saving her to instill some spirituality in Dexter that he can impart onto his baby since that was a major point of the whole religious school.

But with all those terrible aspects aside, I'll be a liar if I didn't admit that I'll watch, just like most everyone else who bitches about this show, but I can't help but mourn the show that could have been under a slightly different management.