I Smell Rich Man's Fear

I Smell Rich Man's Fear

Do you smell that in the air? It's the richman suddenly being frightened by the poor common man. For you see, the revolution may not be too far away..

They call when they make the Forbes 400 list. They call when annual hedge fund rankings appear, when their names are mentioned on CNBC and when their children travel abroad. And, these days, they call when protesters camped in Lower Manhattan grow uncomfortable with the idea of their existence.

The ultra-rich bankers, hedge fund managers and private equity executives of NY have long enlisted private security firms to help safeguard them and their wealth. But as the mood on Main Street turns increasingly hostile, New York's financial titans are cranking their security measures up to 11. For the high-end security firms that provide the moneyed elite with specialty service like around the clock bodyguards and elaborate home security systems. OWS has been a stimulus package

"We expect to more than double our revenue in New York this year," said Paul M. Viollis, a co-founder of Risk Control Strategies. A firm that protects some of the top executives on Wall Street.

Another company, insite Security, has gotten dozens of calls since the protests began and expects to increase its revenue at least 40 percent this year, according to Christopher Falkenberg, its chief executive

Another client, a C-suite executive at a large wall street firm recently asked Mr. Viollis to send undercover agents to Zuccotti Park to find out if the protesters were planning to harm him or his colleagues.

But as a versions of Occupy Wall Street fan out across the country, even executives who aren't recognizable to the general public are worried.

Typically, what happens is that these guys wake up one day, look around, and say, "Wow, I've really provided some great benefits for my family, and boy, it looks like I've also introduced a modicum of risk,'" said Mr. Viollis. "Then they call me.

Fear us. Be afraid, you shits!

Though if anything, this looks like it's the return of the Pinkertons. It's not just going to be an awesome Weezer album before they went big anymore. So perhaps it's time that I get on that FBI watch list again and suggest that maybe, just maybe we should kill the rich. Though publicly in the most horrific way possible.

Or maybe I got it all wrong. It appears they really are the job creators all along. Look at all these private security firms they are increasing the hiring practices to.

You're probably asking how all of this is a good thing? Well, at the very least class war is starting to get real and one side is loading up their protection. You know when they increase their lines of defense that the shit is about to hit the fan. Or at the very least they're scared enough and see the minority as a credible threat now.

I can sort of picture the operators standing by right now.

"Thank you for calling Worldwide Defense & Deterrence Professionals, Land Fortification division, how may I direct your call?"

Or something like this:

Oh, I'm very happy to hear you're interested in our submarine escape package, just one moment and I'll connect you with your personal security sales representative *patches skype call through to the revolution*

Because really, when you read stuff like the following:
The executive wanted to know how much gold to keep on hand and how to escape the United States by submarine in the event of a major incident.

All you can really think is that the rich literally get their inspiration from duck tales. There has to be a Nazi joke in there somewhere, but I'm just too dead inside so if someone wouldn't mind picking up my slack on this one, I'll be much appreciative.

It makes you wonder how much it will cost for the escape pod package. Yay for that false sense of security and peace of mind that is clearly worth paying for if you've got all that money. But just for one moment think how awesome it would be when an angry mob comes at these rich assholes' doors with the pitch forks and torches and the security firm is like "see ya later, shitlord, thanks for all the free money" and takes off?

If they are serious with it than all of this stuff requires a base level of political legal and physical infrastructure in order to be effective in any way. Trigger-happy guards couldn't have saved a Russian duke from an angry rabble in 1917 even if they took out 10 each. The security consultants are really jut draining them of money and could only possibly protect them from the low-hanging fruit like a disgruntled employee or a team of burglars or kidnappers.

I think they have plenty of reasons to fear the masses and they finally are.