Cooking during Economic Hardship 3

Cooking during Economic Hardship 3

Continuing the series of helping you help yourself in these times of making two truck boat trucks meet, it's me again telling you how you can stretch them dollars and make your life not suck so much - in that you at least are kept fed.

First off, do not be above dumpster diving. Sure, there can be scary things in that there dumpster, but that doesn't mean you're not going to find some treasure every now and then.

Did you know all those food establishments toss out on average a hundred pounds of food a day? It's true. Stuff that could be given to foodbanks or to the employees making below min. wage is just discarded. Their loss is your reward for getting down and dirty.

If you don't want to do that. Invest in dry goods. You can never make enough red beans and rich. It's the poor southern swamp trash's best kept secret. You will never go hungry again with those two items.

I talked about organ meats in the last update, but it's really something worth repeating. It's kind of a fad right now, but organ meat is still shockingly cheap. A pound of grass-fed organic beef liver at whole foods was around $2.50. Chicken livers are similarly priced and delicious, and kidneys are even cheaper.

If you want to get classy, you can often find whole chickens for $5 each. If this happens where you live, you've just hit the jackpot. Butterfly that son-bitch and roast those bad boys. Rub them down with some oil and stuff them under the skin with garlic, salt and pepper and you have yourself a feast of a meal that will last for days.

If you're not afraid of a little diversity, look to ethnic stores. Those butchers are really cheap and have good quality meats. Look for your town's little Arab, Armenia, Iranian, Mexican, Asian stores and you'll find yourself some really low priced protein. I've also found that Mexican and Asian markets have cheaper veggies and meat than any other supermarket around.

Once you're done with that protein, do not toss away the bones. Simmer that carcass for a couple of hours to get the rest of the meat off and make a great stew base. Strain out the bones and add veggies and potatoes or rice or what have you, egg noodles for that matter work as well. Go nuts, it's all good. You can even freeze and enjoy them whenever fairly easily.

You can also get those bones and keep them in the freezer till you have about 8 pounds of them and then smear them with a bit of tomato paste, roast them and add some shallots and herbs. Cook them down to demiglace and freeze it. Fucking delicious and dirt cheap. The only thing you need to worry about is time. Do it on your day off - if you even have a job anymore - as it takes a good part of the day to properly cook it down.

Last in this installment is the poor folks' seasoning guide:

Scour the spice racks at dollar stores and ethnic markets - spices are far cheaper there than at regular grocery stores (look for the wall racks of spices in plastic bags or bulk spices - never buy those cylindrical glass jars of spices because they are a waste of money).

Garlic - This is your friend. It's sold almost everywhere, is cheap, goes well in most styles of cuisine, and adds lots of flavor.

Salt - It is sold in large quantities for small amounts of money, and you'll use it in almost everything you cook.

Onions - You can usually find large bags of them for very cheap. Buy lots and use them in everything you can. Simmering them in a bit of cooking oil/butter for a bit will caramelize them and make them very tasty.

Citrus - Lemons and limes sell for next to nothing, and a little of their juice goes a long way to make tastier food.

Meats as Seasoning - Boil a ham bone in your soup or greens/vegetables for more flavor. A diced up packet of lunch meat ham from the dollar store works too.

Curries - Many curries are based on a mixture of cumin and coriander. Add turmeric for yellow curries. If you can get coconut milk for cheap, that's the base of most Thai curries. Yogurt, milk, tomato purees and/or butter/vegetable oil comprise the base of most Indian curries. Experiment with what's available to you, and if you have any culinary skill you'll probably end up with something decent most of the time. A good curry mix can turn a huge load of flavorless vegetables into a few days' worth of savory meals. Serve over rice for maximum cost-effectiveness.

Mexican Food - For a simple Mexican seasoning, use lots of cumin, garlic and salt, then add spicier peppers to taste (chipotle, jalapeño, ground chilis). Lime adds a nice dimension to it if you have some. Chicken thigh/leg meat is affordable and goes well with this seasoning. Get a stack of cheap tortillas and stir-fry some onions, bell peppers and whatever cheap meats/vegetables you can find for a fajita feast. Use a bit of stock/broth/bouillon in your rice along with some salt and a bit of garlic (cumin can be good in there too, if you're into it).

Itialian Food - Tomato sauces and canned tomato product that can be made into sauce are widely available at discount stores. Simmer up some vegetables and/or brown some meat and mix it into your sauces when available. Rosemary, bay leaf, basil, oregano, thyme and garlic can be used in different combinations to make your sauce better. If it's too acidic, add a bit of milk. Pasta is one of the most inexpensive foods you will find, so learn to dress it up. If you have a baking sheet, cut up some potatoes and sprinkle them with rosemary, salt, garlic and olive oil (or cheaper cooking oil if necessary). Bake until browned and enjoy.

Be creative. Read lots of recipes. Save your leftovers.

Don't Blink - Doctor Who Season Finale

Don't Blink - Doctor Who Season Finale

Tomorrow it is revealed to us the most important thing of the last few months - the season finale of Doctor Who, at least till December when Ol' Ms. Oswald joins the cast officially. But you know, the addition of one means the subtraction of another. Two of the most prominent  companions that most of the new viewers have seen the Doctor come up with, Amy and Rory, are leaving the show, with this being their finale episode.

So what do we have to look forward to? How about a little teaser



Statue of liberty is an angel. Oh you clever girl. Though I knew that was going to happen and for some reason I have a feeling that Amy and Rory will be captured by an Angel and be sent back, stuck in time in New York. In the helpful position to help young River Pond grow up, as we saw in Day of the Moon episode she was wondering the streets of New York.

Another clue on all this is the way that the Doctor knows something is going to happen to the Ponds in the last few episodes. In last weeks, the Doctor and the Ponds meet Henry VIII and jump under the bed when Amy some how marries him. Then in the episode before that, A Town Called Mercy, the Doctor gives Rory a bit of hassle about the time he accidentally left his phone charger in Henry VIII's bedroom.

Could this be a situation where the time for Rory and Amy is going forward, but that the Doctor is the one traveling back in time for a sort of farewell tour? Add in that the Angels take Manhattan teaser showed the TARDIS being swallowed by some strange electrical energy. It's the same energy that has been superimposed into the opening titles this past week - you can see whenever the lightening flashes.

Could the every changing opening title sequence, the flickering lights and other such things be a hint of being caused by Weeping Angels? Seems like a good theory to me.

Fringe...Fringe...Fringe Friday!

Fringe...Fringe...Fringe Friday! 

Why isn't it tonight already? I mean.. just look at what we're waiting for...


Which brings up a good question, have you've seen this woman?


Better yet, don't answer that - you're probably not loyalist



Here's a preview for tonight's episode...

Fringing On The Edge

Fringing On The Edge


You got the intro from the past...


as well as the intro of the present...


The intro to universe A present....


Intro for universe B present....


Intro to the future that you don't want happening...


Annnnnd the intro the future that we're heading into...


This is it - the final season. Thankfully I'm able to say that. Not cause I want it over, but because it didn't look good towards the end of the last season. So what do we have to look forward to? 13 episodes of little to no filler and all goodness. It won't be without its bumps. The season will run 4 episodes and then take a break for baseball. From there we get 2 new episodes and a longer break for the holidays and when we return in the new year it's 7 episodes with a three part finale.

Fuuuuuuuu, I can't wait!

Heed Obey Serve - Fringe's Finale Season

Heed Obey Serve - Fringe's Finale Season

It's only a few days away from the finale season of Fringe starting to air. It's amazing that we even got to this point, but here we are. With only 13 episodes to work with in wrapping up this story, it's pretty much a given that this will be some intense stuff. Just take a look at the previews;



They are coming... I'm really curious as to where they are going with this. From the last future episode, Olivia was just completely missing and none of the other characters seemed to care about what exactly happened to her. As if they already knew. The only mention of her was "what William Bell Did" to her and that was that.



I'm really looking forward to seeing Ultimate Walter - that is to say that the Walter with all his brain back. He's not troubled by fears of morality, and he casually sets of antimatter bombs to take out targets of opportunity while doing something else. Man is he going to be messing some shit up and I'm going to be right there cheering the whole thing on.

Go Waltimate!



Oh noes. Maybe I spoke too soon. You know he'll get out of that with little problem. All in all this, as been a public service announcement for Fringe. Prepare for your scan...

Oh The Ref-leaf

Oh The Ref-leaf

While I'm not one to yap on about sports. Certainly not NFL related, I feel it's well worth talking about the incident that happened last night during Monday Night Football.

The simple back story to know is that the NFL locked out the officials, which are part of their own union, just like the players. But the NFL Referee Association's contract with the NFL expired last season and the two haven't been able to come to terms. The NFL decided to be mature about this and locked them out and hired scabs.

What were the terms that the NFL couldn't agree on? Well, first off the NFL wants to make a certain number of officials work full time and exclusively for the league. That may sound like a nice thing, but currently a lot of them do this job solely on the side and 90% of them are not willing to go full on exclusive.

They also want to add three new officiating crews worth of officials. Mainly to replace the aging officials. They also have issues with the cash flow, the point that the NFLRA really is fighting for. The NFL said it has offered a seven year contract with annual pay raises of 5-7% based on experience levels. The NFLRA said that this contract would actually result in smaller pay raises than what would have been provided under the expired agreement. Most of all, the NFL also wants to get rid of the officials' pension plans and replace them with 401(k) plans. The NFLRA said this would represent a 40% reduction in the league's retirement contribution.

So with the two not being able to see eye to eye, they locked them out and hired scabs to take their place. At best you have high school coaches calling the games and that came to a boil last night with the yelling your husband and boyfriend is screaming about. It's pretty clear that every team was going to have their moment where the scab refs officially affected the result of the game, but it seemed like one of the fan favorite teams, the Green Bay Packers, losing yesterday on a very questionable call was one of those breaking points.

What happened was that an interception in the end zone became a touch down even though the guy intercepting it had a clear possession of it going down. This wouldn't be too bad, but on the replay/questioning the play, the had ref also called it good. And so even after the reviewing of the play, it was done.

If you ask me, if it takes the Packers having a win stolen from them to end the lockout, then I'm more than happy about it. In fact, if it takes the Packers losing every game this year, it'll be a worthy sacrifice for justice to be done.You can't blame the Hawks or the Packers for the game. On the previous drive, the Packers got away with a complete phantom DPI that allowed them to go all the way down field for the go ahead. Not to mention that on the last series on the first play, the Packers were blatantly off sides. You can't really fault any of them.

This is completely on the heads of the officials and the NFL for refusing to pay the real refs. I would prefer if refs were just taken out of the game all together, as they really don't add much that a video camera couldn't tell you. The Seahawks deserved to win that game just as bad as the Packers did. Only the call that the Packers got screwed out of is the only one anyone is paying attention to.


Truth be told, I'm sort of disappointed that the ending exist because now it's all anyone will talk about - instead of the horrible calls that were being tossed out through the entire game. People will scream bloody murder but the owners will keep raking in their cash and not giving a single fuck. I would be surprised if anything changes as beating the union out of pensions is more important to them than any amount of bad PR.

Yup, seems like they'll just sweep it all under the rug and not give a fuck about it - as long as a union is busted up. And for the love of god, once again, all the people who are upset at the Seahawks fans, check yourself. It's not their fault that a bad call went in their way. If it went for your favorite team, then you wouldn't be complaining much.

A Few More Thoughts on Occupy

A Few More Thoughts on Occupy

Since I wrote a little on the subject near the anniversary, how about we dive in a bit more. I'm fairly sure that Occupy Wall Street is our equivalent of the polish solidarity movement near the end of the USSR - At best, it played a barometer of things that were to come, but in itself couldn't have the man power to enact any of that change that was needed.

The system clearly is rapidly collapsing and people want it to, but OWS in itself just doesn't have the right form to become the new system. It'll be something else that we haven't even seen coming yet. OWS is just a signifier of a shift of consciousness rather than an alternative model or the revolutionary vanguard, if you will. It isn't the end, but rather the beginning of something else. In short, I would not be banking on it accomplishing anything. So I wouldn't be expecting anything close to a "victory" to come out of it. But it does represent a shit in the socio-political narrative.

I just hope that those involved don't take the same path the 60's movements did, and either get smoked out by the FBI or do a 180 and vote in Reagan a couple of decades later. You have to get them to realize that they sit there in this cage that was made for themselves. Be it the police one they're sitting in or the cold rain surrounded by investment bank skyscrapers, all of which were created by themselves.

 They must realize that the cops aren't people like they are. The bankers aren't people like they are either. They are an entirely separate species with their own reality and their own social constructs and rules for them to follow, the world of the cop is the one where the only law is thou shalt not hurt thy brother.

Your average OWS is disconnected with the average American as it is. The people currently struggling in awful ways, such as the homeless, overworked parents and other poor households aren't going to have as much time to spare for action despite being a good base for radicalization - of course this is dependent on shit like false consciousness, patriarchy and the such. 

People need money and jobs - they can't afford to spend any amount of time standing outside those bankers buildings. Those without work have plenty to worry about than having a cop beat them for essentially pretending to be homeless. They have better shit to do - such as actually attempting to prevent homelessness from setting in.

Alone

Alone

I'm not going to say much about this story, but if you ever felt like getting away from it all - and I mean completely getting away from it all, this story is some sort of amazement.

For this episode of Far Out, VICE went to Chilean Patagonia to meet Faustino Barrientos, one of Lake O'Higgins' most infamous inhabitants. Lake O'Higgins comprises a portion of the border between Chile's Aysén region and Argentina's Santa Cruz province. Since 1965, Faustino Barrientos has lived alone on the shores the lake, in a house built from the remains of a shipwrecked fishing vessel. He's a pastoralist, living mostly off the land and his livestock, with few modern amenities. His nearest neighbors are in Villa O'Higgins, a small community of several hundred people, 25 miles away, accessible only by a two-day horseback ride through rugged mountain animal paths. Every few years, Faustino makes this ride to sell his cattle in town. Currently 81 years old, Faustino is reaching the end of his life, and his self-imposed isolation is being encroached upon by the forces of government, economy, and tourism. In December 2011, VICE went to document his lifestyle and speak with him about the changing face of Patagonia and the gaucho lifestyle

It's really something else entirely.

Let's Be Honest - Republicans Are Basically Facist

Let's Be Honest - Republicans Are Basically Fascist

While I'm aware that it's popular to assume that there's no difference between the Republicans and Democrats as they are both liberals, but if Democrats are liberals, Republicans based on the rhetoric and their on-the-ground operatives, they are pretty much close to fascist as you can get. Hell, even Ron Paul said so.

They have a philosophy that vilifies the meekest among us. Their strategy is to build more prisons, criminalize being an immigrant or speaking Spanish. They demonize the poor and minorities as being on welfare to score points with the base. Hey, vilify gay people as attacking their family values and vilify religious minorities such as atheists and Muslims as not being real Americans.

They are anti-intellectual as fuck, Santorum said "What a snob!" at the idea of everyone having a chance to go to college. Women are baby factories to them. They want to strip all of the hard fought for rights to abortion and birth control from women. Anyone who deviates from the norm is a prime target for bullying. You bet you can call them fascist.

They are also unapologetic and blatantly corporatist. They'll bail out the banks long before they would ever let a more bottom up stimulus pass. They would rather enrich the interest of the insurance industry than guarantee that eveyrone has even a barely symbolic modicum of access to health care. In circumstances where corporatism won't fly, they talk about small businesses when inside the beltway culture "small business" means Walmart." They're anti-union to the core and against the right to organize workers for collective bargaining.

When they were in power, they were the ones who really went gung-ho for any aggressive foreign policy. They reject the idea of internationalism in favor of unilateralism. The party has been calling for our withdrawal from the united nations since the 50's. The Tea Party made veiled and not so veiled threats to violently overthrow the government if the 2010 race didn't go their way.

And yes, I realize the Democrats are a weak opposition to this with many to this with many of the people with D's next to their names representing us being puppets for the same corporate bucks to keep their jobs, but the rhetoric coming from the Republicans is much more fascist. Hell, Chomsky says the Democrats are better than the alternative at least.

Then again, that stuff seems to be just right-wing asshole things. Fascism is more specific than that. Fascism is just a particularly nationalist form of liberal politics used by capital when facing the crises over overgrowing national boundaries. At best, the republican party draws on the same public sentiment that Neo fascists try to, they're just more amenable to present day global capitalism and thus more attractive to the conservative mass that sees nazi-style fascism as just another type of socialism or something.

Fascist ideology is actually fairly coherent in practice, American conservative ideology and the success of the republican party relies on a working class false consciousness that is really pretty unique and more complex.

"the Anatomy of Fascism" by Roberto O. Paxton:

"Fascism may be defined as a form of political behavior marked by obsessive preoccupation with community decline, humiliation, or victim-hood and by compensatory cults of unity, energy, and purity, in which a mass-based party of committed nationalist militants, working in uneasy but effective collaboration with traditional elites, abandons democratic liberties and pursues with redemptive violence and without ethical or legal restraints goals of internal cleansing and external expansion."

So Republicans basically. Then again, all this is for nothing as a good rule of thumb is that anything and everything is Hitler.

Except Stalin. Stalin is Stalin.

Wall Street Occupied

Wall Street Occupied 

A couple of days ago Occupy Wall Street hit their 1 year anniversary and, well, let's just put it this way - their actions are pretty much wasted now a days. Sure, there's still a good ol' 150+ showing up, but let's just face the facts, you best keep your skepticism over the long term effectiveness of OWS as a whole.

My general sense is that OWS is devolving into a self-congratulatory theater while various affinity groups are trying to do more concrete things. At this point I'm not even sure if there is any attempt being made to occupy anything. Like any permanent presence anywhere.

At this point, the occupy movement is pretty much done. It served its purpose as a testing ground for what a modern mass leftist movement could look like when inequality comes to the forefront. David Graeber said a few months ago that "the biggest problem with the Occupy movement is that it's afraid of success"


He's a fairly decent fella, but if that's the sort of hard hitting analysis that the figureheads of OWS are cranking out at this point, it's probably safe to say that it's not going anywhere at this point.


Even worse is that when I talked to the Occupy folks and asked them what they have read to for economic guidance, granted, this is just hearsay, but far and away the most common response is not Marx, nor Chomsky. Not even Klein. More than often it's Paul Fuckin' Krugman.

Yeah, that's when you know the shit's gone super reactionary, when the state sends riot control police to beat up Neo-Keynesians.


Occupy just ended up being a strange, collective existential crisis in late capitalism that can't work itself out. Like the social, economic and ideological alienation of an entire mass of humanity that has bottomed out and some reaction was inevitable, but it just takes this awkward form that has to play itself out in practice.

Or maybe it's just that the economy just hasn't gone to shit enough for there to be real mass action. Occupy was a taste of what is around the bend when the Euro finally goes down in a blaze of horror and people realize China is not going to be growing exponentially any more to buy the rest of us up. It's important for organizing and connecting. But for now it really just has to wait for its moment. The capitalist crisis is just very far from bottoming out.

Cooking Under Economic Hardship Part 2

Cooking Under Economic Hardship Part 2

So here we are, still under a massive economic hardship in front of everything we deal with. How exactly are you suppose to survive in times like this? Well, through these helpful hints, of course.

First trip, you gotta find your local day-old bread store and just buy your day old bread rolls, breakfast muffins or whatever through there. They'll taste pretty good and still be pretty damn tasty.

In the event that you can't get all your nutrients, you can grab a big thing of generic vitamins to make up the slack. But you should not have to deal with them too much since you can affordable get your nutrients even if you're dirt poor.


If you're in need of some cheaper food, you can always buy Food Stamps. Then again, they seem to be on debit card now, but people that had them and wanted something far more would sell them for pennies on the dollar. Okay, more like 50 cents on the dollar, but you get what I'm saying. Dirt cheap! Get double your money's value in food and help someone escape the bitter pill of reality with... a pill.. or a pipe, at least.

You should buy bone in shank, neck and shoulder. Get some canola oil to brown, which is half as expensive as olive oil and just as healthy with a higher smoke point - so less risk of trans fats. Braise and stew that and once your meat starts browning all your meat, Maillard flavors, my friends. Generally, learn to leach every ounce of flavor from every bit of food you have. The french are very good at this because their land is shit for raising most kinds of meat and they can't grow spices that far north.

The fat will make you fuller than starch and often it's cheaper per pound. And with the very cheapest of cuts, even per calorie, but your average office drone can probably get by on 1,500-1,800 calories a day so fullness rather than energy density is probably a priority.

Organ meat is also amazingly cheaper than shoulder and neck. Tripe taquitos are the food of the gods, you best recognize! All you have to do is make giant batches of that stuff and freeze it up. YUM!

Then if you want something on the side, brown rise is about $1.90 a pound and bone in pork butt is about $1.90 a pound as well. This includes the skin which is a fantastic source of collagen. And you can get that down even further sometimes.

Potatoes have at least a small amount of every nutrient you need to survive except one and that one's found in oatmeal and now you know why there's still Irish people around.

So there's some methods of saving your ass in these tough economic times.

Talk Like A Pirate

Talk Like A Pirate

I just want to inform all you folks going yar, aye matey and what not today that the stereotypical pirate talk is not based on any real historical dialect, but comes from the 1950's film version of Treasure Island. Yeah... you've pretty much been reliving some Disney created

That's not to say that the first pirates of the Caribbean wasn't pretty good film. It was. Oh how it was. But man those sequels didn't do its name any good. Anyhow, let's quickly talk about piracy.. and I don't mean the torrent kind.

In retrospect, I guess pirates were pretty cool. They got to elect their own captains and everyone got mostly a fair share of the booty. Officers and the captain would get 1.5-2.5 shares, but that was still the most equitable distribution anyone was getting at the time. They didn't even kill that many people. Mainly because folks didn't fight back much if you had a reputation for sparing everyone who surrendered.

Not to mention that they stole the fuck out of rich people's shit.  So hey, besides the whole being a bunch of rapists, they were pretty alright of a group. Besides, that whole raping of wenches thing was probably more of that typical royal navy propaganda anyway. It's just so hard to tell because a lot of the history about pirates comes from a book written by Daniel Dafoe under a pseudonym..

So hey, I guess you should do a lot less talking like a pirate from a Disney movie and do a lot more actions like a real pirate - steal from your neighbors!

The Romney Files

The Romney Files

I can't say I really expect Romney to be much competition to the shitty Obama campaign. I mean, let's be real, what would you rather have? To be kicked in the balls or to have those balls get completely cut off. Rock and a hard place type of situation.

In any case, it seems like Romney did what he's good at and stuffed his boot straight into his mouth again yesterday. This isn't anything new. It is, after all, who Romney is. Let's start off with the bad jokes..



What a piece of shit. I mean, really?

Then you have yourself the real foot inserted into mouth situation from yesterday where he tells people that 47% of people don't even pay taxes and will vote for Obama no matter what...



The audacity! People demanding food and housing?! How dare they!

"My job is not to worry about people who need food and housing, they should take personal responsibility for themselves" - A true leader of the free nation.


Thank god someone is prepared to speak on behalf of the rich. That sad thing is this video would only be controversial if this wasn't already the right wing dogma. The effect of this is probably going to be the same as the recording of Obama in 2008 where he made that "...the cling to their guns and religion..." comment, probably nothing, if anything will come of it, it would be a way to hoodwink a few Republicans that didn't think Romney was far enough to the right in the same way as a few leftists used Obama's comments to tell themselves that he's a secret leftist atheist. 


So hey, same shit, different day...

The Romney Bounce Back?

The Romney Bounce Back?

So if you're keeping track, Romney stuck his foot in his mouth a couple of days ago when a fundraiser video footage snippet was released to the world to see that he hates the 47% that doesn't pay taxes and won't get their vote no matter what, so why bother or something. How did he respond to this?



I got plenty of word that the video leaking was the end of Romney. I sort of doubted it, but then I saw the above clip of him giving a conference were he addressed the leaked footage. Just knowing that his team approved of this was.. all, very very confusing. I mean, it's awkwardness alone has a huge amount of creepiness.

I mean, even the Mccain campaign was more competent than Romney's gang and that was one of the worst campaigns ever. All it needs now is for Romney to suspend his campaign and fly back to Washington to deal with this crisis - the crisis being his own words.


Christ, if all a literal dump truck full of money buys you is advisers that go "go with the out of context/release the whole video thing" you know, your shit is fucked. Mr. Romney, how will you battle this image that you're so out of touch with the common man that you're in low geostationary orbit at this point?

"I am going to try to get my message of half the country is shiftless sacks of useless cellulite oxygen waste out in a clearer more rehearsed manner"


The funny thing about where those disgusting non producing parasite lives are all on this map... 
 


So not only is Romney bombing, but he's managing to do it in a really boring way. I really wish the Herman Cain Train had been nominated, Cause so far we're just getting this.... 

“...I think that no person hath a right to an interest or share in the disposing of the affairs of the kingdom, and in determining or choosing those that shall determine what laws we shall be ruled by here — no person hath a right to this, that hath not a permanent fixed interest in this kingdom...”

- mitt romney

Rich People Love To Hide

Rich People Love To Hide

With 9/11 just past reminding us that terrorist could attack and kill us because they be jelly of our freedom, any day now. It's time to look at how the very rich among us is cooping with this and, in a sense, preparing for the upcoming doom that is a terrorist attack - one that we probably provoked by being the world's police.

For those of you with too much money and not enough sense, I present to you the protection you need, when you don't want to get out of your bed;

The Quantum Sleeper Unit is a high-level security system designed for maximum protection in various hostile environments

Quantum Sleepers can also be fitted to provide protection from destructive forces of nature such as tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods.

The Quantum Sleeper is the ultimate in protection, entertainment and communications, “ ALL ROLLED UP IN ONE”.

PROTECTION
With this unit you don't have to run to a "Safe Room", you're already in it.
ENTERTAINMENT
The Quantuum Sleeper comes with options for:
- CD player,
- DVD Screen with PC hookup,
- Microwave and Refrigerator
COMMUNICATIONS
The Quantum Sleeper comes with options for Cellular Phones, CB and Short-wave Radios

It's a god damn fortress for the stupid among us. So let's see what this wonderful safe box has to offer;

1.25" Polycarbonate Bulletproof Plating/Shielding
Bio-Chemical Filtered Ventilation
Rebreather
Control Panel Mode Selection (i.e., Basic System Ops., Intruder Setting, Energy Status, Lock Down, etc.)
Cover & Door Actuators w/ Emergency Release
One way see through head cover (reflective mirror on 2 sides and front)
Safety Features (Proximity Sensor, O2 Sensor, Smoke Det., Motion Det. Ect,)
Emergency Communication system (Cellular, Short-wave Radio, CB ect.)
Audio Amplifier (Amplify sound from out side unit)

Air/Water Tight Sealing
External Override Key Pad & Remote Control
Battery Backup Power
Toiletry system

I'm a bit confused by it, to be honest. How are you supposed to shit when you're sealed up in your Quantum Sleeper? I mean, how much protection is it really? Sure, they'll need it because I will personally end the life of every wealthy person (Hi there, FBI Agent monitoring this blog), but you really can't stay in this thing forever, can you? Don't worry, folks. I'm sure you gotta come out eventually and once the next era of post-apocalyptic laws come about, I'll have nothing better to do than to collect richy rich ears and make into a necklace...

But seriously now, I was sort of expecting, you know, like a room. Not a little cover for your bed. This thing, I guess, would be sort of awesome of a fort if you were like 12. But for a full grown adult - not so much.

Maybe I'm just bitter about this because it could, in theory, be a coffin and my stance in the next world after the bombs go off, is that the rich aren't worthy of coffins. They should all be piled into mass graves as a hygiene concern as ideally they would be left to rot and be devoured by scavenging beast more wholesome than themselves.

Just think of the day when your airtight seal of a coffin bed gets to the point of exploding because the gas produced from bodily decomposition built up enough pressure inside the chamber to blow it apart.

Look, rich folks, if somebody wants you dead that badly, that box isn't going to help. Just think, couldn't they, you know, just stack some weights on top of it and smash it? Or how about just set the place on fire. You're going to turn into a giant hot box and die cooking. If you just set the house on fire after you've looted it, the occupants in there will surly die.

This isn't like your standard panic room. This is for people far too lazy to get up and walk the five feet it takes to get into a panic room.

In short - the very rich.

All Shit, Sherlock

All Shit, Sherlock

So CBS decided that with HOUSE M.D off the air, that the market was ripe for another U.S. version of Sherlock needed to be on the air. Yeah, that's right. I said it. House M.D. is basically the American equal to a series of Sherlock because that's what it was.

You had House - Holmes. Wilson - Watson. Shit, the dude even lived on 221 Baker Street for a while. Not to mention how it ended the series with a fake death? It was Sherlock.

And while I loved that, I look at CBS' attempt to make a modern day Sherlock Holmes and I really want to puke. It's so bad. I mean, really really bad. It's god damn awful. I also have to wonder why even bother making this considering that the BBC has already made a modern day version of Sherlock Holmes that was 100 times better than Sherlock

Where do I even start? Watson - Historically speaking, Watson is the character perspective that we are often left viewing the story from in Sherlock Holmes novels. So who do we get in this CBS version? Lucy Lu.

FUUUUUuuuuuuUuuUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu K!

Should we start calling her Wuston? Either way, she does the acting job of a piece of drift wood. It's so bad. I don't even know if it's just her trying to get into the role, but you don't see what you need to see from Watson. And whatever attempt she does to keep Sherlock in line just seems so forced that it's not even funny.

Then you have Sherlock. To be honest, I didn't find the American Sherlock to be all that annoying. Well, just a bit. But Lucy as Watson was far more of a bad choice. If anything, Sherlock just feels like he's not even trying - which could be due to the fact that the writing for this show is terrible. Even for a pilot it just doesn't show much progression at all and is pretty one dimensional.

Let's be honest. Even this cartoon is far better than what CBS is cranking out



Now if you're looking for a real show about Sherlock. Look no further than Moffat's Sherlock Holmes that airs in England. You can find it on Netflix with an easy enough search. It's a British television show created by Steven Moffat, head writer of Dr. Who currently, and Mark Gatiss - who shows up in the show. It is a contemporary update of Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes detective stories and it stars Benedict Cumberbatch as Holmes - which has to be one of the most British names possible. And also Martin Freeman as Dr. Watson. Who you will see this Christmas as Bilbo Baggins in the Peter Jackson film of The Hobbit.

It was originally commissioned as a 60-minute pilot, which was filmed but never broadcast. But now the seasons are broken up into three 90-minute episodes and so far has had 2 seasons. Over all, it's one hell of an amazing show and far better than CBS could ever dream of coming up with.

So really, if you have to see ONE Sherlock franchise, make it the BBC version and please stay away from the god awful and poorly written CBS version.

ParaNromaning It Up

ParaNormaning It Up

I didn't watch it as soon as it came out, but the movie ParaNorman is one that I really wish I would have talked about more. It's the newest release from LAIKA studios, based out of Portland, Oregon, which is best known for the film Coraline. Their previous production. As you might have guessed it, a film like this takes a long time to create. But that time really does help in making something truly beautiful to look at.



This film is about Norman, a "freak" who can see and communicate with ghosts. His weirdness is known to all and it makes him an outcast in his community. What community? Well, the town of Blithe Hollow--a city famed only for its well-marketed witch shtick. Yes, as you might imagine, the witch connection is important. Norman is the only one with the power to send the witch back to sleep and prevent her curse from raising the dead and destroying the town. Dun dun dun!

There are others who aid him in this venture, including the other outcast kid, Neil, who is ostracized for being fat. This kid is Norman's closest companion in the film, though it's surprising how little this relationship is emphasized compared to the others. What others? Well, Norman's cheerleader sister, for one, complete with beautifully-rendered lipgloss. (Not in a creepy way, it's just that the lighting in the film is absolutely spot-on.) Then there's the school bully, Alvin, who causes a mess but is also instrumental in a better solution. There is also Neil's older brother, Mitch, the stereotypical jock (except for a late-in-the-game twist--wait for it, wait for it.) Norman also has a disapproving father and a rather wishy-washy mother. His grandma is around, too, although she's rather on the deceased side by the time the film begins.



Sounds pretty cliche, right? Well, no. Not at all. If anyone spoils the twists for you in this film, punch them. Punch them right in the face. Unlike a lot of films, the slow and meticulous nature of a stop-motion film gives them lots of time to think about things connect, how ideas should be visualized, how emotions should be portrayed--and the damn thing came out absolutely perfect. It's funny, it's terrifying, it's creepy, it's clever, and it's heart-wrenching. A little too scary for the youngest of kids, yes, but aside from that, it's fair fare for all. The voice actors and actresses are also in excellent form, with an especially wonderful presence of John Goodman. (Although perhaps the best acting from this character is from his body instead....)

What is perhaps most interesting is that this film seems to be contesting the idea of the "revenge fantasy" which is common to the point of being almost ubiquitous for films about protagonistic outsiders. "Oh, I'm different, and you treated me like crap, but now it's my turn! I'll show you all! Et cetera!" Here, violent retribution--even for terrible misdeeds--is not condoned, even when the original behaviors are acknowledged as evil.



To be honest, I have no idea why this wasn't a Halloween film, except that it wasn't. So you best enjoy it while you still can. It is worth noting that this is not a zombie film or a zombie survival film in the way that all the ads made it out to be. If you're sick of zombie films, then this is still a great choice.

Even if you hate good plots and smart writing, come for the art. Never before have I seen such artful lighting, framing, and color use. A film like this is a gem and needs to be appreciated on the big screen, if only for their brilliant use of gauze and teeny-tiny LEDs. Just look at the luminescence of Norman's ears up there! It's remarkable, truly. All those little faces and giant sets and intricate lights.... What you get at the end is truly magical. And somehow made on a budget of only $45 million (compared to Brave's budget of $185 million!)



I enjoyed most of it but it seemed rather harsh on the bullied. Norman pretty much said that it was partially this girl's fault for getting herself lynched. It also suggests that bullies are always afraid of those that they bully which is not true a lot of the time.

So by all means, help stop-motion stay alive by seeing this film. Clearly, it's a completely valid way to make visually complex and intricate films. But money talks louder than common sense ever could. I tell you, it's the stop-motion. that's probably the main selling point of the film, but, as with Coraline, this film runs much deeper than superficial technical quality.

Gravity Falls

Gravity Falls

What happens when you get a show like Twin Peaks, Eerie Indiana, X-files and Invader Zim and you throw it onto the Disney Channel? You'll get a show like Gravity Falls. A new Disney cartoon that is probably unlike anything you'll expect Disney to crank out... Most of all, it's really really good. While I am a 32 year old male adult who still watches children cartoons, I still maintain some ability to say that I'm pretty picky at what I watch -- and this, is something that is well worth watching.

The show follows two siblings. Dipper and Mabel, as they spend their summer with their grand uncle Grunkle in his Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Think of that touristy mystery spot that is hoping to make your money disappear. Only, the town of Gravity Falls has a lot of weird shit going on.

If nothing else will get you to watch the show, the theme music will... Here's a version with the rough cut animation set to it.



Now wasn't that a catchy tune?

The really strange part of all of this is that there's really a Gravity Falls type of place up in the Pacific Northwest. Just check it out.



I mean, it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, you know. Considering how they like to keep Oregon weird and all that jazz. But weird enough that they'll embrace some shows that only grown ups would appreciate?

Take a look at the two following images. The first taken from Twin Peaks...


The second from Gravity Falls.



Isn't that pretty gosh darn neat? You kids don't know how good you have it. Cartoons now are so much better than they were when I was a kid. For all the nostalgia that most people carry for the shit that was on in the 80's, the majority of all that was pure crap. None of it was anything special - Maybe it's cause I didn't have basic cable.

Maybe it's also a combination of people getting old and jaded and nostalgia now being a manufactured package product in itself that gives all these folks who wont shut up about how BACK IN MY DAY, WHEN THE WORLD WAS GOOD AND ALL THAT... I'm here to tell you NO, Cartoons were pure shit back then.

I was too poor to afford seeing Nickelodeon and all that shit. I had to go to a cousins house and even then I was just so jealous of it. I wonder how many people who remember that time actually watched any of that shit. Growing up I was insanely jealous of kids who had cable. Where I only had public television and all that. Then again, after seeing what they grew up on, I think I was far better off, honestly.

In any case, Watch Gravity Falls tonight.

Revolution - A Ron Paul Television Partnership

Revolution - A Ron Paul Television Partnership

Okay, not really. It's actually pretty bad. I mean, perhaps I should learn my lesson and realize that J.J. Abrams is just one of those folks who farts out ideas and all of them stink pretty bad unless you spin it to saying that it was caused by a bad sandwich at lunch or something along those lines. Otherwise it's just terrible.

I was able to view a preview of the pilot episode a couple of weeks back and I have to say - wow, was I just let down completely. Which is pretty sad considering the premise is fairly decent.

"A family struggles to reunite in a post-apocalyptic American landscape: a world of empty cities, local militias and heroic freedom fighters, where every single piece of technology -- computers, planes, cars, phones, even lights -- has mysteriously blacked out ... forever."

Basically 15 years ago the current time frame of the television show, all electronics just suddenly stop working. In a really strange way, if I do say so myself. City blocks just go out like a row of Damiano effect.

We cut to 15 years later after the apocalypse that was caused in the black out, and they're all wearing completely untarnished machine washed v-neck t-shirts. Is it because all their other clothes are in tatters and only now, a decade and a half later, they are willing to begrudgingly settle for what remains of the Old Navy inventory? By now it would be considered REALLY OLD Navy.

I mean, not to nitpick, but that brand new, perfectly fitting leather that the daughter is wearing must have come from a local butcher, right? If you think about the irony of all this, the hipsters, those fools who we mock for making their own sausages and clothing are the ones who have the upper hand in all this.

Then we have the whole, you know, premise of the show. It's all fine to say that electricity just suddenly stopped working and we can't generate the electricity from batteries or anything, but you're shooting people with machine gun and lighting a fire to keep warm. Seems a little off, science wise in all that.

The only great thing about this show is that you have Gus from Breaking Bad NOT be blown up in a retirement home. His acting chops alone are amazing. But a slight spoiler, well not even one. The whole "a family struggling to come together" aspect of the description seems off -- you know, since mommy is killed off screen some time in the 15 year gap and daddy is killed in the first 10 minutes. Man, that family sure is struggling badly.

It also brings up a really good question. Why would they fast forward 15 years anyway? The immediate aftermath of the power suddenly going out and mass panic and riots ensuing is probably a hundred times more interesting than whatever the fuck they showed us in this really poor pilot episode.

I can't be bothered to watch it again to double check, but in the final action scene they had some of the soldiers reloading muskets in a battle. My god, I know steampunk is a market that needs to be tapped in to, but this just seems beyond silly.

All in all, this is pretty much a venn diagram of Lost, Terra Nova, and Falling Skies. Which is ironic because Lost ended up awful, The dinosaur one is pretty much forgotten by all by now and Falling Skies is on TNT, so it might as well be forgotten.

And there you have it. Now you have a leg up on the six-episode-in canceled series since NBC seriously doesn't give anything a chance in hell.

Post 9-11 And Did We Win?

Post 9-11 And Did We Win?

9/11 was yesterday, did you forget?! With it comes a slew of Facebook postings that made me wish I didn't have Facebook. But needless to say that Facebook was littered with patriotism and somber postings. It's like a battle to see who amongst friends and family has not forgotten the hardest.

Take this gem for example.

9/11/01, probably the most confusing day of 5th grade. 11 years later, couldn't be more proud to be from a country who, in such a small amount of time, has accomplished so much. Goes to show that if you attack America, you're going to lose. Washington is full of political nonsense, the true heroes are doing the dirty work and risking their lives so that I can sit here and type this Facebook status freely. 'Murica!

Oh my. "dirty work"..... yeeeeeeeaaaaah. Thank you, soldiers, for killing illegally - killing those pagan heretics so that I may utilize social media. God bless this mess.

What it boils down to is that 9/11 is the day I have to pretend I care about 3,500 Manhattanites more than I care about the hundreds of thousands of civilians and soldiers killed in the name of fighting terrorism.

I confused since I really want to ask all those posting somber shit on the book how anyone can honestly think that given our current political culture and all the other horrible things that have happened since 9/11 that we won the "War on terror", then I remember that people who honestly buy into that American exceptionalism are pretty stupid anyway.


That's the thing that rubs me the wrong way about this day - the fact that people only give a fuck about those who died in New York. It's something I hate - HATE HATE the most about New Yorkers. The fact that they feel like they are the center of the world and everyone should bow down to their culture filled fucktards.

And mind you, my hate for this isn't the same as Glen Beck... cause let us never forget Glen Beck hating the victims families of 9/11


No, I'm not saying we should say fuck it to the victims of 9/11, I'm saying I'm tired of New Yorkers making it about them when there was 2 other locations that the attacks on September 11 effected.

Not to mention that 11 years ago today, all of the Eastern European actors that played villains in American action movies were out of a job. Now, the dark skinned Middle Easterners get all of their jobs as villains. Never forget.

Also, you should always remember Herman Cain's hilariously inappropriate 9/11 "tribute" consisting of him singing "God Bless America" over footage of the destruction?



"God bless... America..."
BOOM
AUGH
AIIEEEEE

Why yes, 11 years later and the US is still dropping bombs on dirt. Fuck yeah! That will teach them towel heads! America likes to make glass the way our forefathers did, by using an unusual amount of explosive ordnance.

Then you happen to come across stuff like this



Why yes, "it's just totally unexplainable. there was no reason for it. certainly it wasn't a response to anything the united states ever did and there's no need to examine the causes of anything bad that ever happens." ugh

It's as if people throw out this whole notion anytime anything ever happens for any tragedy like this one and shit like the dark knight shooting. "It was just totally random" "there's no explanation" "he was just crazy" like it's some fucking force of nature, like a huge group of people planning and carrying out a complex attack in four different locations just happened out of the ether like a god damn tornado. And if you even suggest that someone look into the causes you get yelled at for being insensitive.

Certainly there wasn't any political position that the U.S. held that caused this slowly stirring pot to boil over. No no, it must have been that they were all jelly because of our freedoms. Yes, that must have been it....

Welp, till next year, when we discuss how it's more instances of shit being cray cray without explanation.

9-11

9-11

So it has been 11 years since something happened in New York. But, you know, no where else. Cause all that matters is New York. Fuck flight 93 or fuck the *plane* that crashed into the pentagon. Here I'm thinking we may have forgotten..

Here's something to remind you of the worst tragedies that happened upon the living world....



Oh wait.. my bad.

That's the sort of 9/11's that we do on to others. My bad. Is it in poor taste to bring that up today?

What am I Forgetting?

What am I Forgetting?

Wait, there's something I was suppose to remember today.. Hmmm, what was it? I just... don't know. I mean, fuck, if this was the President's reaction at the time...


Then why should I even give a fuck 11 years after? Hey. How about we just look at someone deeply effected by the incident that they wrote a song about it..



Some wonder why I'm so cold toward this day of remembering and it's stories like this that get me.



The border patrol murdered a man on the Mexican-side having a carne asada with his family, the agents who murdered him claim he was throwing rocks at their boat. Someone in Mexico recorded the man's family discovering him already dead, and the border patrol speeding off.

Are we really better off as a nation now than we were ten twelve years ago? We still go after everyone. Now we just use the excuse that we're fighting terrorist to invade their lands and to inflict our imperialistic nature on others.

It Was 11 Years Ago This Day...

It Was 11 Years Ago This Day...

It was 11 years ago this day....



Why yes, it was then that I just had further proof that my sense of humor was beyond sick and twisted. And now, after more than a decade and two wars against unrelated countries, we can take pride in knowing that we're way more terrorist than some guys who hijacked and crashed a few planes.



I'm pretty sure that in another 100 years or less, people are going to be celebrating this day with greetings to each other stating "Happy 9/11". I'm pretty sure that if Labor day wasn't just last weekend, we'd be getting this day off and it'll be turned into some sort of excuse to have a three day weekend, drink beer and praise America.

After all, now a days we have people exchange chocolate to celebrate the day Al Capone had a bunch of Irishmen executed. It's truly sickening.



See, maybe I'm just a bit jaded. I know I'm sick. But you can't forget and I mean this, that the Bush Administration had a really good idea that Bin Laden was going to attack, and probably with airplanes for more than a month before 9/11, and he did nothing about it.



Even better.. or worst, I guess, is that it seems that Bush had memos going back to May 1st, 2001 from the CIA detailing an impending attack on US soil. He gets such a pass in history for 9/11, but I want to do my part to make sure his legacy is even more of a smoking crater than it already is.



Just think, if people forget this day, all those commemorative 9/11 quarters with the fold out towers will stop increasing in value. We gotta protect capital. Even worse than those stupid quarters was the Anime music videos that came out of it...



It's been 11 years now. I'm actually impressed that quarters are the only things really selling and big retailers haven't started up 9/11 blowout sales. We're knockig down prices!

I just have to say... SHAME ON YOU, DISNEY! How dare you release a new Wreck-It Ralph trailer with some serious 9/11 undertones.


But hey, I mean, yeah Patriot day is a god damn awful name for today, I mean, they could have just called 9/11 "Tribute date." You do have to admit that May 1st is still the worst named date possible with it being named "Loyalty day" No cookie Monster! NOOOOOOOOOO



I guess the only thing left to say is Happy 9/11

And Here I Thought I Couldn't Lose More Respect For the Banks

And Here I Thought I Couldn't Lose More Respect For the Banks

I mean, I thought that it was as low as it could possibly ever be. I didn't expect them to go for a record and actually show me how low they could go...But here we are with Wells Fargo forecloses on the wrong home.

The owners of a modest home near Twentynine Palms lost their cherished possessions after a bank mistakenly foreclosed their residence. A crew broke into Alvin and Pat Tjosaas’ desert home and took everything after being directed by Wells Fargo to secure the structure.

The couple, however, didn’t have a mortgage on the home.

Alvin said the deputy sheriff said, “Good news, we know who took (your possessions)…Wells Fargo. Bad news, your stuff is all gone.”

All the married couple has now are three generations of memories. Alvin, a retired mason, built the home with his father when he was a teenager.

A spokesman for Wells Fargo released a statement apologizing to the couple.

“We are deeply sorry for the very personal losses the Tjosaas family suffered as a result of their home being mistakenly secured,” said Alfredo Padilla. “We are moving quickly to reach out to the family to resolve this unfortunate situation in an attempt to right this wrong.”

Alvin and Pat remain distraught.

“When you put your heart into something…it makes me real sad. I’m just glad I have my sweetheart. We’ve been together a long time,” said Alvin.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that "reach out" means "sue them for slander".

I mean, it's all just a mistake, they'll make it right, won't they? Missing a mortgage payment, on the other hand... that's unforgivable. This all just makes me wonder why people fear nebulous hordes of poor people stealing their things when there are "law enforcement" and banks who do it constantly with no one being the wiser.

Just think about it. They meant to ruin some other folks' lives, and are only apologizing because they didn't know how to read the numbers on a mailbox. If this went according to plan, there wouldn't be a single news media outlet to tell and you would still have the same level of family in a tragic stunned mess that they lost everything.

Sure is a nice house you got there, be a real shame if something happened to it.

*bust the wrong kneecap*

If nothing else, let this be a reminder to everyone that you should just burn down your house if they foreclose on it. Well, that may be some bad advice. Given that arson is punished as a felony. So perhaps I should recommend and participate in asset stripping.

It's the neo-liberal way, after all. You strip it out and sell it for pennies on the dollar. Cabinets, doors, lighting fixtures, carpets, appliances, wiring, plumbing, counter tops, windows, water heaters, AC, furnace, ductwork - you name it, it has to go. Everything must go! I'll bring the beer and pizza, you bring the dollies and the sledgehammers! A couple of gallon cans of paint thinner will take care of any lawn - though I hesitate to recommend that on an environmental level, but still, it's either you take it or the bank owns it... and fuck them.

Mixing Your Whiskey

Mixing Your Whiskey

I think it's about time to talk about the low balling of Whiskey. In that, what the general idea of how low quality you can go with a bourbon you plan on mixing for drinks and still make a drink that taste good. It's a serious subject since you don't want to mix in some very special single barrel extremely long aged bourbon for a mixed drink.

Bourbon is interesting in that you can go to the so-called "bottom shelf" and still find really great whiskeys that can be drank straight up if you want. For example, Very Old Barton 100 Proof runs about $11.99 to $13.99 and has more character and flavor than some "top shelf" bourbons like Maker's Mark. That's not to say it doesn't have a few rough edges, but it goes monumentally well in mixed drinks too.

Some other great value Bourbons are:

Old Grand Dad 100 proof
Old Weller Antique 107
Evan Williams
Wild Turkey 101 (a personal favorite)

So you can get by buying cheaper bourbons if you're going to mix. But it doesn't necessarily mean you have to buy rotgut quality bourbon either. There are always some great values out there.

Kirkland brand stuff has surprised me in the past. Their vodka is manufactured by Grey Goose. They also have an anejo tequila that is really solid for the price. They're almost approaching Trader Joes in terms of store-brand shock value. I have to say though, for my money, I thought that Kirkland bourbon was pretty bad. It's made by Jim Beam, but it is not really good and is really rough around the edges.

Dexter - Once More... With Feeling?

Dexter - Once More... With Feeling?

So as the new season of fall shows starts rolling in, here's another preview look at the new season of Dexter. A show that needs very little introduction



I have to admit, the last few seasons of this show have tried my patience in how inept a police department could actually be. Dexter has also been weighed down by a baby and so much more.

In all, season 1 was really good and season 2 and 3 were bad. Really bad. Then season 4 came around and redeemed all that but then it just went to hell in a handbasket after that with allt he crap they tried doing.

By season 4 I was ready to call it quits and then John Lithgow really made it good again - for a short time. But season 6 has been the worst of any season possible. It could have been good if Olmos was actually, you know, real. Or if they didn't make it so obvious that he wasn't real, that everyone figured it out and had to watch 8 episodes of dreadfully boring dramatic irony.

Let's see if season 7 can redeem this show.

Obama The Socialist

Obama The Socialist

Right wingers released a film accusing Obama's father of being a communist.



Oh, if only he had taken after his father in the slightest. Then I wouldn't be so torn about voting this time around. I mean, I'm not going to vote republican. So you can at least rest easy on that one. But how can I vote for Obama and still feel like I didn't dirty myself up because of it. He's done...

Tree Foot Prints

Tree Foot Prints

Nothing really all that controversial in this report. Just saw this and I liked it and I decided to pull a Tumblr and share it with the rest of you. So enjoy...













Nice to think that our existence and our every day does something that ISN'T destroying nature on step at a time.

Nice in thought, at least.

Mimes, Memes and Meymeys

Mimes, Memes and Meymeys

Are you ever late for an internet meme? I'm not. I'm literally always on the cutting edge of comedy. But for the rest of you, those who don't even hear about some running joke until really late, this is a serious problem.

Then again, for most, ignoring internet meme's should be a priority unless they're organic to the website. Besides, half the time memes are just super elaborate in jokes upon in jokes and the other half of the time it's just something you see or watch and then go "Ha! I get that reference!" months later after the fact.

But hey, the concept of memes as sociocultural pseudoentities is neat. But actual self-described memes... well, those are just... well, they are just that.

And for the record, didn't Richard Dawkins come up with the whole "meme" thing? It's pretty clear that this was all shit from the start, basically what I'm saying. Though Dawkins' definition of the "meme" is a useful one and really interesting, but unfortunately it proved too complicated for the internet so now "meme" means "joke"

Flight of the Conchord's Take Flight Again

Flight of the Conchords' Take Flight Again

So the boys, who are still stuck in New Zealand, have been tossed into the ring of making a song for charity. I have to say, I can't wait for more new Conchords



Ahh, that was enjoyable.

Vegans Are Fucking Annoying

Vegans Are Fucking Annoying

People say that atheist are annoying in how they are always shoving their lack of a religion in your face. I disagree. I generally NEVER talk about my lack in the belief of that bearded fella. On the other hand, there's seldom ever a time when a vegetarian or vegan is eating near me that they don't like to impart some words of wisdom about how they're not into eating meat and how they feel much healthier for it.

Now one vegetarian is pushing for In-n-Out to carry a vegetarian burger option and created a petition for said monstrosity of a creation.

So L.A. resident Ari Soloman, once becoming a vegetarian, missed In-n-out and decided to start a campaign on Change.org to have In-n-Out start serving an option that would please himself and the meat-free crowd and expects them to come up with something designed for the vegan/vegetarian crowd.

"Before I was vegan, In-N-Out was one my favorite places in LA. Unfortunately, I haven't eat there in years because there are no vegan options," says Solomon. "I think it would be fantastic if In-N-Out would offer a veggie burger so that not only vegetarians and vegans could have a menu option, but also people looking to be healthier and do right by the environment."

You know, it's not like they haven't had the grilled cheese as an option at in-n-out for, like, forever now. And it wouldn't really be a very pure vegetarian burger considering that it'll be cooked right next to the real meat burgers. So you're going to get cross contamination unless you demand that the store makes and uses a specific grill only for veggie burgers. It sounds easy on paper to demand this but in practice it's fucking annoying.

Not to mention that it's a lifestyle choice you are making. You should be prepared to deal with not having In-n-out once you choose to live that method and shouldn't expect companies to bend to your personal choices. What next, Glutton free folks demand an optional bread for themselves?

Should I start a petition for a vegetarian restaurant to start serving up steak and other meat delicious dishes? I would think not. Basically, I'm not pissing in your lifestyle, how about you lay off ruining mine?

With all that said, enjoy your Labor Day Weekend.

Bad Broken

Bad Broken

So tonight is the season finale of breaking bad. We'll have to wait another 9 months before we see the final half of the shows conclusions and already things are boiling over to an insane level. So what's in store for us tonight?

I'm not entirely sure but it seems that the episode tonight is titled Gliding Over All.

If you want to start some wild speculation as the hours count down, this is the Walt Whitman poem that tonight's mid-season finale owes its name to;

GLIDING o'er all, through all,
Through Nature, Time, and Space,
As a ship on the waters advancing,
The voyage of the soul--not life alone,
Death, many deaths I'll sing.

Things seem like they will be bloody... That much is sure. I mean, it was only one week ago that we saw this happen..



Wait, I don't think that's how it happened. My memory is a little hazy. Much like it was when the train job happened.



hmmm, yeah. I think I'm remembering all these things wrong.

Tell Me WHO Are You?

Tell Me WHO Are You?

Today, at 7:10 GMT time, it gets all Timey Whimey and The Doctor returns for a much anticipated new season of Doctor Who. Today's episode is Asylum of the Daleks and it features all the different versions of the Daleks that have appeared over the years on Doctor Who.



After that, there's four more episodes that currently have confirmed titles and authors.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship (Chris Chibnall): Hmmmm, I wonder what this one has in it...

A Town Called Mercy (Toby Whithouse): A western that was shot in Spain, featuring that dude with a weird cybernetic eyepatch thing from previous trailers.

The Power of Three (Also Chris Chibnall): Wikipedia's saying it's going to be an invasion of Earth-style story. Not much else is really known.

The Angels Take Manhatten (The Moff): Desperately hoping that this one's a Muppets crossover. This is yet again going to be Amy and Rory's last episode. I'm guessing that it's going to stick this time.

But beyond that, we know very little information about the second half of the series. None of these are really really confirmed. But they're all as close as can be to that as possible:

Neil Gaiman's apparently coming back to write a Cybermen episode. Considering his past contributions, this sounds really amazing. Gatiss is writing an episode featuring David Warner as an ICE LORD. They're back, baby! Oh man, bust out some nostalgia. Then there's an episode that's been described as "Image of the Fendahl meets Quatermass." Which sounds really promising! Some mention of another story centering around the Eye of Harmony. Will it be a fanwanking bullshit or a potentially good story in the offing? We don't have a Tardis, so we'll just have to wait and see.

Other things that we need to look out for is an upcoming stylistic change in the show. Both with the new theme, a new opening and... oh yeah. Her



Extensive research points that these five episodes are the only ones before the Christmas special, which will be written by Moffat. After that, we have eight more episodes in the back half of the series. At least two of which will also be written by Moffat and at least another two of them written by M. Gatiss.

All in all, a little spoilers filled, but a very brief run down on what is happening in Doctor Who starting today!